Reading Time: 120 Minutes

Title: Beyond the Last Dance
Author: Meri
Fandom: Star Trek: Strange New Worlds, Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Drama, Family, First Time, Future Fic / Post-Canon, Romance, Slash
Relationship(s): Leonard McCoy/ Christopher Pike, James T. Kirk/Spock
Content Rating: NC-17
Warnings: *No Mandatory Warnings Apply, Canon level-violence, Attempted kidnapping of adults and children, Discussions of child trafficking but no explicit violence against anyone.
Author Note: Note 1: I believe canon is a suggestion, not a rule. This story is an alternate universe. Note 2: Given how close Spock is to Chris Pike in Discovery and Strange New Worlds, I can’t believe that Spock wouldn’t do everything he could before the accident to help or save him, especially knowing what he does about Pike’s sacrifice.
Beta: Thanks to my beta: Regan_V! Also useful were Grammarly and Text Aloud.
Word Count: 78,000
Summary: Dr. McCoy and Captain Pike spent one extraordinary night together. The following day, McCoy saved Pike’s life after a baffle plate ruptured during a cadet inspection tour. After that, neither can forget the night they spent together. Eighteen months later, Admiral Pike boards the Enterprise for a diplomatic mission to Xahea to help secure the planet’s entry into the Federation. When Pike and McCoy meet again, their response to each other surprises them both (and everyone else as well).
Artist: Saydria Wolfe

---

---

 

Chapter One

The Night Before Pike’s Accident

Kelso’s was a local bar in an older building that Spock suspected had some nostalgic appeal to its patrons. Its weathered brick walls were a stark contrast to the sleek cityscape of San Francisco. This was not a place that Spock would have typically visited, but he understood the draw it might hold for someone like Christopher Pike.

Inside, it pulsed with the thump of the music’s bass line and the energy of the crowd. The bar had translucent walls that shifted colors in rhythm with the music.

He found Chris in a booth near the dance floor. As he sat down, the music was muffled by the booth’s sound-dampening shields, which was a relief.

“It is good to see you, Chris,” Spock said. Despite everything, it was still difficult for him to be so casual with this man. His feelings for Christopher Pike were complicated. But formality would not be a comfort to Chris tonight. Even if it was difficult for him, Spock wanted to offer that to him.

“It’s good to see you, too,” Chris said, smiling. “Though I have to say I was surprised when you called me to say that the Enterprise was being recalled to Earth and that you wanted to see me tonight.”

Spock cleared his throat. “I know you have the cadet training mission tomorrow.”

“And we all know what that means,” Chris said, with surprisingly less bitterness than Spock would have thought.

“I know,” Spock said. “I am seeing my father in a few hours, but I wanted to see you first. Although I am surprised by the venue.”

Chris glanced around and shrugged. “I didn’t want to be at home by myself tonight. Too much to think about.”

Spock was not sure what he could say. Whether or not Chris was saved by the measures that Spock had put into place, the accident would still happen. And neither of them could change that.

“Are you hungry?” Chris asked. “The food here is good. They do a passable vegetable curry.”

“No, thank you. I will share a meal with my father later,” Spock said. “He has done me a great service, and I will repay him in any way he asks.”

“I’m glad you’re finally talking to him,” Chris said. “What did he do for you?”

“That is between him and me. I wish to –” Spock stopped and then took a breath. It was challenging to articulate the words. It always had been. With the uncertainty of what tomorrow would bring, it was even more so. “I wish you to know what serving with you has meant to me. What you mean to me.”

Chris smiled at him, pleasure in his eyes. “You know, I feel the same. It’s always been hard to define what was between us.”

“I think in this case, it should not be left unsaid,” Spock said, and then cleared his throat again. “You have been like a father to me. When I lost my own father because I chose to go to Starfleet Academy, serving with you gave me back something I did not know I required. You treated me with respect and caring. I was able to grow beyond the strict Vulcan logic and unemotionalism of my past.” He took a breath and looked at Chris. “I have chosen logic over emotion, but with the full knowledge of my choice. And you gave me that.”

Chris had tears standing out in his eyes. “Thank you,” he said, his voice thick. “I could never put a name to what was between us. But yes, that was it. I…thank you.”

Spock nodded. He wasn’t sure what else to say. This was already too close to the deep well of emotion he felt for Chris. He put his hand on Chris’ bare wrist. He felt Chris’ fear and his resolve. It was admirable. But then, Christopher Pike was a heroic man. “I believe the outcome will be better than you saw in the vision. But if it is not, I did not want this to go unexpressed.”

Chris closed his eyes for a moment. “It means a lot to me. You will do important things in the future.”

There was nothing left to say after that. And they sat in silence for a little longer, and then it was time for him to meet his father. He stood, and Chris stood with him, putting a hand on Spock’s arm without saying anything.

Finally, Spock walked away with a crushing pain in his chest that he knew was not physical.

*****

When Spock made it outside, he stopped and took a deep breath, and then a second to steady himself. The night air was cool, and the fog was starting to roll in from the bay. At any other time, he might have found the sight fascinating, but tonight, he could not concentrate on anything. He needed to start moving.

As he looked up, he saw Dr. McCoy walking towards the bar. As much as he respected Dr. McCoy’s skill as a doctor, he could not possibly engage with him right now. Spock conceded that he was as close to being emotionally compromised as he had been in a very long time. Not since Christine had broken up with him in a song. No, not since his foster sister, Michael Burnham, had gone to the future to save the entire galaxy.

He shook off the thought of Michael. She was gone, and he would never see her again. And despite all his efforts to mitigate events, it was possible he would not see Chris again either. Just the thought of that was enough to devastate him.

“What are you doing here?” Dr. McCoy asked, sounding surprised to see him.

“I am leaving to meet my father for dinner,” Spock said, trying and probably failing to keep his voice neutral.

Dr. McCoy looked at him. “You seem off –”

“I am fine, doctor. Please do not push me right now,” Spock said, and this time, he thought he had managed to banish the emotion from his tone and his face.

Something must have made an impression on Dr. McCoy because he gave him another look and asked, “Why were we recalled to Earth?”

Spock did not want to discuss that, either. “I am not sure why you would think that I would have that information?”

“Because I don’t know, and Jim doesn’t know. And as far as I can tell, no one knows.” Dr. McCoy sounded frustrated.

“Then why would you think I would know?” Spock asked again. “I am sure the captain will hear of the reasons from one of the admirals.” But it was not going to come from him.

“That’s just it, as far as Jim has been able to tell, they don’t know, either.” Dr. McCoy just looked at him. “Jim was told that the request came from the Vulcan Ambassador himself. Do you know him?”

Spock was silent for a moment. “I do know him,” he said. While he would rather not lie about it, there was no need to volunteer any extra information that was not strictly required.

“Why would he ask that we be recalled?” asked Dr. McCoy.

“You would have to ask him,” Spock said. Typically, he found these conversations, if not always amusing, then certainly not stress-inducing, but right now it felt as if he were being pushed into a corner.

“Why don’t you ask him. Since you’re having dinner with him.” Dr. McCoy raised an eyebrow at him.

That was a surprise. “How did you know that?” Spock asked.

“I’ve studied your entire medical history. I know who your parents are,” Dr. McCoy said as if that were obvious.

He should have realized that Dr. McCoy would know that information. “I see,” Spock said, closing his eyes and breathing out slowly. He could not do this right now. His emotions were too close to the surface after seeing Chris. He did not have the control he needed.

“Are you all right, Spock?” Dr. McCoy’s tone had completely shifted, and worry was present now as well. “You look — for lack of a better word — upset.”

Spock was emotionally at the end of his tether. “Please do not question me any further. I cannot speak of this, yet.”

Dr. McCoy blinked at him a couple of times but then nodded. “All right. I’m just going to go on in and have some dinner and a drink or three.”

“Do not get drunk tonight. Please.” All of this would be for naught, if Dr. McCoy could not do the radiation mitigation therapies. He was the only one who could do it.

Dr. McCoy looked ready to argue with him.

“No,” Spock said, much more sharply than he should have. “Please do not drink tonight. You are going to have to do mitigations for a radiation emergency tomorrow.”

“All right,” Dr. McCoy said as an understanding came into his eyes.

Spock could almost see him put the pieces together. “Thank you,” Spock said. And he had to get out of there. “Good night.”

*****

Len watched Spock disappear into the night. He had no idea what to make of what just happened, but he did understand that something had caused a very real emotional reaction in Spock. The likes of which he had never seen or expected to see.

He couldn’t even contemplate it. Right now, he needed to get something to eat. He went through the door, and of course, Kelso’s was packed.

“Len,” Feya said. “It’s good to see you. We’re full up tonight. It’s probably an hour wait for a table.” She looked around the bar. “Why don’t you go see if Chris is expecting anyone else?”

“Chris?” He didn’t know who she was talking about.

“The gray-haired guy by himself at the booth in the corner. You can share his table. Tell him I sent you.”

That was so going to sound like a pick-up line. But Len was hungry enough to try it. The guy was staring into his drink.

Len slid into the booth, and the guy looked up, surprised.

“So, Chris,” Len started. “Feya said that you might be willing to share your table with me. I’m starving, and apparently there’s nowhere else to sit in here.”

“Sure,” he said, with a shrug. “Why not?”

“Thanks. I won’t bother you,” Len said. And signaled to Feya.

“Cheeseburger and fries, Len?” she asked.

He smiled that she still remembered. “Sounds good. Also, a Coke. Do you want anything, Chris? I’ll buy you dinner since I stole your table.”

“No. Thanks,” he said, with a half-smile. “I wasn’t using that half, anyway.”

“And I do appreciate it,” Len said. Chris was good-looking. He was younger than the seriously styled, gray hair would suggest, and had attractive light blue eyes. Len sensed something sad about him. But that wasn’t his business.

Feya brought his dinner, and he dug into it with relish. This place never changed. The food was good. The drinks were better, but apparently, he wasn’t getting one tonight.

He stole another glance at his tablemate. If things were different, he might have tried to pick him up. But Chris didn’t look like he wanted company, much less that kind of company. He was probably only tolerating Len sitting with him because it was so crowded. Not that the sound-dampening shields on the table didn’t keep the noise down, but there was still a slight din around them.

“Have you ever thought about what you would do?” Chris said, startling Len.

“With what?” Len asked, putting another crispy fry into his mouth and chewing with pleasure. The food was always so good here.

“If you thought that you were living your last night?” Chris finished.

Red Alert. Oh fuck, this guy might not just be sad, he might be suicidal. “Is this your last night?” Len asked very carefully.

“No. Well, I hope not,” Chris said, but his smile didn’t quite reach his eyes. “I just wonder sometimes what I would do with one last night.”

“Why would you even think that?” Len kept his tone mild. He wasn’t the best person for this kind of conversation. He knew that. But maybe he could help.

“I’m being maudlin. I have an assignment tomorrow, and I’m not looking forward to it.”

“Can I ask what it is?”

Chris looked at him again and shook his head. “It’s not something I can get out of doing. And I don’t want to. Get out of it, that is. But sometimes, doing the right thing is hard.”

“Maybe it’s time to retire?” Len suggested.

“Maybe,” Chris said. “I’m not quite old enough yet. But soon, I guess I’ll get there. One way or another.”

“Can I help?” Len finally said. Because this guy was sad, and there was something more than that. Something Len couldn’t define. But he also didn’t feel suicidal, but Len wasn’t entirely sure.

“No. Thanks, though. Unless you want to dance with me?” Chris nodded toward the dance floor, where a few couples were slow dancing.

Well, that was a little random for Len. “How do you go from this possibly being your last night to asking me to dance with you? Because that doesn’t add up to me.”

“That wasn’t a no.” Chris smiled. This time, his eyes lit with amusement. “I like to dance. Especially slowly.”

Len was getting whiplash from this. But there was something about Chris that he found very compelling. “Sure. I’ll dance with you.”

He slid out of the booth and held out his hand. Chris stood as well. And damn, he was well put together, about Len’s height and broader in the shoulders and narrow through the hips and waist. He took Len’s hand.

The dance floor had multicolored lights that reflected on the walls, creating a sparkle effect that Len had always enjoyed. Despite the decent music and the number of people in the bar, the dance floor wasn’t very crowded. Len held Chris’ hand as he put his other arm around his waist. He was very solid — all sleek, hard muscles. Just like Len liked his men to be. But he couldn’t get past the question. “So, tell me why you asked me about that.”

Chris’ arm tightened around Len’s waist, moving slowly to the music. “It’s just something I think about from time to time.”

“Is your job that dangerous?” Len asked.

“Not usually. But accidents can happen.”

“They can,” Len said. Part of him just wanted to lean into Chris and enjoy the dance. And some other part wanted to figure out what was going on with him.

“I’m not suicidal. I promise you that,” Chris said. “I’m just facing something I need to do, that there’s no way to avoid. And it’s going to be dangerous.”

“Can you mitigate it?” Len asked, relaxing just a bit. He’d known what Len was thinking and had answered that. It didn’t mean it was true, but it also didn’t feel like Chris was on that edge.

“As much as I can, I have,” Chris said.

And there was something he wasn’t saying, but that was fair enough. He owed Len no answers. So, he let Chris lead him in the dance. Slowly moving around the floor. It was nice to just hold someone. It had been a long time. There was comfort, even in a stranger’s touch. And given his life, that was all he usually got.

He leaned back just a little and opened his eyes. Chris leaned in and kissed him. And fuck, he was hard-pressed to resist that sweetness. And then he did it again, and Len kissed him back. His mouth was gentle and tender, tasting vaguely of Saurian brandy. Len wanted nothing more than to get lost in his kisses.

“Are you okay?” Len asked.

“You seem very concerned about me. You don’t even know me,” Chris said.

“I am,” Len admitted. “You set off my internal alert system with that question.”

“Are you a doctor?”

“As it happens, I’m a surgeon.”

“I would have thought something like a psychologist or something?” Chris said.

“Nope. That would be my brother-in-law,” Len said, smiling. “I’m just a regular doctor.”

“I’m sorry to have upset you. Like I said, I was just feeling a little maudlin tonight. I should go home and go to sleep. I’ve got an early morning tomorrow.”

Len leaned in and kissed him. “I can’t speak for you, but I wouldn’t mind another dance.”

That got another smile from Chris. “I wouldn’t mind that either.”

And they started to move to the music again, slowly. Just holding on to each other. Len opened his eyes when Chris put a finger on his bottom lip and leaned in, kissing him again. He wasn’t going to deny he was turned on by the sweet kisses and slow dancing. And he was starting to want more.

“How far do you live?” Len asked. Presuming a lot, he supposed, but clearly Chris was as aroused as he was.

The delighted smile on Chris’ face said all that needed to be said about that. “It’s a few minutes’ walk, if you want to come back with me.”

“I think that would be great. It’s a nice night for a walk.”

They held hands as they walked. Len barely noticed the neighborhood or the house. Chris pressed him against the brick wall outside the front door and kissed him deeply. Len put his hand on Chris’ face. His heart was beating faster, his stomach tightening as need rose inside him as Chris’ kiss continued.

When the kiss finally broke, Chris palmed the door scanner, and it snicked open. He kissed Len again, then led him up a couple of flights of stairs into the bedroom. They kissed as they started to take off each other’s clothes. And kept kissing as they got into bed.

Chris handed him a bottle of lubricant. “Okay?”

Len kissed him again. “Yes. Absolutely.”

“Been a while,” Chris said.

“Me, too.” But Len loved to feel someone responding to his hands and mouth, and he knew how to draw out preparing someone so that they got the most out of what he was going to do with them.

Chris trembled and moaned, and his eyes were closed tightly. Len pushed into him slowly, and Chris’ body responded, relaxing. The tight, slick heat was almost overwhelming. And Len moved slowly, giving him time to adjust and for Len to maximize their pleasure. He angled his movements until he heard Chris’ breath catch, and then he moved with that in mind. Need and tension built up nicely, the pleasure grew, slow and sweet and intense. He loved this. And Chris’ response to what he was doing urged him on.

But finally, the passion had to crest, and he took hold of Chris’ cock and made sure he came before Len let himself go. A spectacular rush of pleasure washed over him. After, he lay down next to Chris, trying to catch his breath.

Chris kissed him again, taking Len into his arms and rolling onto his back. Len put his head down on Chris’ chest, kissed the skin there, and closed his eyes.

At some point in the very early morning, Chris woke him. “I have to leave, now. When you leave, just close the door on your way out. It will lock automatically.”

Len was completely awake. “You don’t want me to leave with you?”

“It’s 0500 hours,” Chris said with a smile and then leaned in to kiss him. “Thanks for last night. That was just what I needed.”

“Me too, as it happens,” Len said. “I wish there was time for more.”

“I do, too. But I probably won’t be back for a while.” Chris kissed him again and then pulled back. “Go back to sleep.”

And then he was gone.

Len woke again in the late morning, had a shower, and dressed in last night’s clothes. The door snicked and locked when he let it close behind him. He’d thought about leaving a message on the house comm system, but what could he say? He had no idea when he’d be back on Earth. Probably not for a couple of years at the least. Maybe longer if he signed on for another five-year mission.

*****

The call finally came in the early evening. Len had spent most of the day at the Starfleet hospital, waiting for it.

“Doctor McCoy, please report to trauma room one,” Phil Boyce’s voice came out of his comm badge.

“Acknowledged,” Len said. “What do you have for me?”

“Captain Christopher Pike. The baffle plate ruptured on a cadet training exercise. Radiation burns on thirty-five to forty percent of his body.”

“I’m on my way,” Len said. “Was he put into stasis?”

“Almost immediately.”

“That will help.” Len met him in the room where he changed into sterilized clothes. He looked at Phil, who looked wrecked. “Are you okay?”

Phil nodded. “He’s my best friend. I’ll assist.”

“Fuck. Are you sure?” Len asked.

“I’m one of the only people here trained for this. Yes, I’m sure,” Phil said, and took a deep breath.

“Okay, let’s get a move on,” Len said.

He spent almost six hours trying to mitigate the radiation effects on Christopher Pike. It was a damned good thing he’d spent so much time working on this, because this was the worst thing Len had ever seen. But Pike’s body was strong to start with, and the mitigations included strengthening the immune system as much as possible to help the body fight off the damage from the radiation.

He and the team had been able to draw out most of the remaining radiation. It wouldn’t be perfect, but it would be good enough to save his life. There was a good chance he’d walk again. But it would take a lot of work and determination.

After they had finished, Len went out into the waiting room to talk to the family. To his surprise, the room was packed with people, and more surprisingly, he recognized several of the people waiting there. Especially Spock. And his father and mother. And Amelia Pike, who ran the Pike Foundation, which had given him a yearly grant to research ways to mitigate radiation poisoning. There was an admiral he thought was Robert April, and several other people in Starfleet uniforms that he didn’t know.

Len cleared his throat. “Captain Pike is alive and will stay that way. He’s going to need more in the way of mitigations and some regeneration, as well as physical therapy. But there’s a good chance he’ll walk again.”

“Thank you, Doctor McCoy,” Amelia Pike said, holding hands with a man in a police uniform who Len did not recognize. “I am deeply grateful for your skill.”

“Yes,” Spock said. “Thank you, doctor. I’m grateful beyond words.”

And all the little pieces fell into place in Len’s mind. Spock had somehow arranged all of this. But what was Spock’s connection to Amelia Pike? And clearly, she was somehow related to Christopher Pike. He was too tired to even think about any of it now.

As he turned to leave, he turned back to Spock. “Later,” was all he said.

And Spock nodded. “Of course, Doctor.”

*****

Phil Boyce would be handling Pike’s case, so Len beamed back to the Enterprise and fell asleep in his own bed. He dreamed of Amelia Pike’s blue eyes, and he knew he’d seen them somewhere before.

When he woke up, the Enterprise was underway. “Computer, bring up a picture of Captain Christopher Pike.”

The computer brought up his most recent service picture. And yes, he was the man from the bar two nights ago. Who had known what was going to happen and done it anyway. Who Spock had seen just before Len had arrived at Kelso’s, and he’d looked devastated after. Probably saying goodbye.

Well fuck.

He was still tired, and he needed a shower and to get ready for whatever was happening that day.

The door chimed just as he was finished getting dressed. “Come,” he said. Expecting it to be Spock with his complete explanation. But no, it was Jim.

“I hear you did your usual stellar job on Captain Pike,” Jim said, sitting on his sofa. “Congratulations again. You saved his life, Bones.”

“I had help. But yeah, I was happy to do it,” Len said and looked at Jim, who didn’t look that happy. “What’s your problem with all of this?”

Jim shrugged. “Only that no one told me anything.”

“Me neither. In fact, it seems like I was the one who was manipulated into being there to do it. I don’t get why he didn’t just ask me to do it?”

“Who?” Jim asked.

“You haven’t put it together yet? You’re usually faster than that,” Len said.

“I know Spock asked his father to have the ship recalled. Did you know he was the Vulcan Ambassador to the Federation?” Jim glanced at him.

Len wasn’t going to lie. “Yes. It’s in his medical records.”

“That makes sense,” Jim said. “Still, I am kind of annoyed that Spock didn’t even give me a heads up about that.”

“Pike is important to Spock,” Len said.

“They served together for more than a decade, but that seems, I don’t know, out of character for the Spock we know,” Jim said, rubbing the back of his neck.

“I’ve always believed that the Spock we know was not the whole story,” Len said.

Jim looked at him and then down at the floor. “I’m beginning to believe you’re right about that. So, he had the ship ordered back so you could do the radiation mitigations. But there’s more,” Jim guessed.

“Yeah, there is. The whole research project, where those mitigations came from, which I’ve been working on for the last eight or nine years, came from the joint venture with Starfleet and the Pike Foundation.”

“That seems a little too coincidental, don’t you think?” Jim said with a look of surprise on his face. “However, for it not to be, it would mean that someone knew what was coming and did nothing to stop it.”

That was true. Two nights ago, Christopher Pike knew he was facing his own death. And Len’s respect and admiration for Pike was without limits at this point. The determination, steadfastness, and honor it took to go on knowing what was coming and doing it anyway was astounding. The why was obvious. He’d saved all those cadets. “Do you know Captain Pike?” Len asked.

“Yes. I met him several times over the years. I always thought he was a genuinely nice man, an excellent officer and leader. The kind of person who would inspire his crew by knowing every one of them. Sam thinks the world of him. He served under Pike before he and his family went to the research station on Deneva. That was after Pike left the Enterprise.”

Yeah, Len had thought he was a nice man, too.

*****

Eight Months After His Accident – Chris

Chris Pike leaned heavily on the cane he was using to get up the stairs to his house. Even having to use a cane, he was grateful beyond words that he was able to go up the steps at all. When he’d left his house eight months ago, he had been sure he would not be coming back.

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Phil Boyce said as he and Chris finally got up the front steps.

“I haven’t been back here since before the accident. I want to be in my own house and sleep in my own damned bed,” Chris said. He put his palm on the sensor, and it snicked open. “Come on.”

They went through the door, and Chris just stood in the entrance foyer, breathing in the smell of dust and dirt. “No one has been in here since I left.” Well, he’d left Len asleep in his bed upstairs.

Despite the eight months of dust, the house felt wonderful to him. After inheriting it from his grandfather just before he left the Academy, he had renovated the entire first floor with an open design. Although much larger than his quarters were, this design was not very different from what he’d had on the Enterprise.

As was true with his quarters, the kitchen was the centerpiece of the space, with sleek granite countertops and high chairs around the outside that allowed people to sit and watch him cook for them.

Floor-to-ceiling windows let the light into his living room and dining room. He had programmable screens on the windows to let the sun in or block it out, depending on the time of day. The glass-topped table and chairs that sat in the middle of the dining room had been a gift from his mom and dad when he’d finished the Academy.

At the back of the house, he had a large family room with a very comfortable sofa for Sunday afternoon naps and holographic monitors for watching live-action sports. His office was the only room not part of the open design. For that, Chris needed a door and a locked safe to store printed confidential information.

There was such a sense of relief at being back in his own home after so long away.

“You didn’t clean up your coffee pot before you left. It’s got mold growing in it,” Phil said from the kitchen with some distaste.

Chris supposed he’d have to replace it.

There were two coffee cups in the sink. Both had been rinsed. Phil did not fail to notice that. “You weren’t alone?”

Chris shook his head. “After I saw Spock, a man sat down at my table. The place was packed, and I’d taken a corner booth for myself. Feya had sent him over. I assumed he was a regular.”

“I have never understood what you saw in that place,” Phil shuddered. “It’s a dive.”

“The food is good. And the drinks aren’t replicated.” And there was a place to dance if he wanted to.

“So, you brought him home with you?” Phil also never understood the need for companionship from a stranger. And why should he? He had been married for years.

“Why not?” Chris met his eyes and shrugged. “You don’t have to babysit me, Phil.”

“I’m not,” Phil said. “I’ll see that your stuff gets delivered here today. I wish you’d stay with us a little longer.”

“I want to be in my own house. I’m deeply grateful to you and Adriana for letting me stay as long as you did. But I think three months is about the most I want to impose. I need to be on my own.”

“Like you needed to go back to work, Admiral?” Phil emphasized the last part.

“Yeah, that was a surprise. I didn’t expect that.” Chris was honored to have been double-promoted and felt obligated to do what he could. And it felt like Starfleet still needed him.

Phil snorted. “Well, you didn’t expect to survive, so –”

“They are paying me, so at least I can get some work done between PT sessions.” Plus, working helped him mentally. He loved Phil and all of his other friends who had been with him through this. But it was time for them to let go.

“How are you getting back to your office?” Phil asked. “Do you need me to drop you?”

“No. I’ll walk.” Chris smiled at him. “Come on, it’s less than a mile.” He wasn’t going to set any land-speed records, but he’d get there.

Phil opened his mouth to say something and then glanced his way and sighed. “Fine.”

After Phil left, Chris sat for a moment, just enjoying the silence and emptiness of his house. He went upstairs and stopped to look at the eight month old messy bed. He patted it as he went by. That had been just what he’d needed to get through that last night.

Chris knew it was silly, but he still thought about Len and missed him far more than their single night encounter should have allowed. Maybe he should go by Kelso’s and see what Feya knew about him. But that was absurd to do for an eight month old one-night stand. Except, he couldn’t dismiss Len from his mind as easily as he should have been able to do. It felt like they were connected in some way. That had to be wistful thinking on his part. He should just let the whole thing go.

*****

Ten Months After The Accident – Len

Len rolled his shoulders and adjusted the monitor, trying to find a comfortable position. His body was stiff, even after being healed by the Vians. It was too much torture for too long, and too little time to cope with it. He sighed and pushed the thought away. There was work to do, and he was fine. Well, at least physically.

His door chimed. “Come,” he said, looking up as Jim came into his office. The door closed all the way for a change.

“What can I do for you, Jim?” Len asked.

“Nothing. I wanted to check on you,” he said, sitting in the chair in front of Len’s desk.

“I’m fine,” Len assured him with a frown. “The whole thing was no more than the usual trauma.” Which was a lie, but it was too soon to even think about what actually happened to him.

“Right,” Jim said, meeting his eyes. “Because getting tortured nearly to death by aliens is usual trauma.”

“It wasn’t that bad –”

“I’m calling bullshit on that, Bones. That much torture has to leave a mark on you.” Jim had that earnest look about him that he had when he thought Len needed to talk to him about something. But it didn’t work that way.

Len sighed. Truthfully, there was a part of him that knew Jim was right. He did need to talk about it, but he couldn’t do it yet. “It’s over. I survived, again. And I’m not the only one who was tortured.”

“It was hardly the same thing,” Jim said. “What they did to me was nothing in comparison.”

“Pain is pain, even for a shorter duration. Unfortunately, it’s a fact of life in deep space exploration.” And maybe it was time to get the fuck out of space. Or at least space exploration, where getting tortured or killed was more likely than anywhere else in Starfleet. Maybe it was time to find out what else was available. “I’m okay. Really,” Len said as sincerely as he could. He didn’t need Jim worrying about him. Jim had better things to worry about.

“Well, I’ve requested shore leave for all of us. Maybe you can find someone to have a little fun with. It hasn’t escaped my notice that there’s no one on the ship who you are interested in.”

“I’ve told you this before, but I don’t think it would be ethical for me to get involved with anyone on the ship. I might have to operate on them, and it would be all the harder if I were involved with them.” And many times, it was hard enough when it was just a friend. Len did not want to think about that scenario with a lover. Plus, there wasn’t anyone on the ship that he was interested in, not in that way. “Frankly, most of the beings on this ship are just too young for me.”

“You’ve said that before. All of it. I understand it. I won’t get involved with anyone on the ship either. Though my worries are command issues,” Jim said. “At least, you don’t have that problem.”

Yes, he did. Len just didn’t acknowledge it as a problem. “Although I’m a doctor first, I do outrank almost everyone on the ship at this point. But that is neither here nor there. I’m fine with what happened. I’m glad they healed me, and hopefully they saved Gem’s people as well.”

“I’d like to think we got through to them, and they did.” Jim looked at him. “I’m going to have to take you at your word that you’re okay. If you want a few days off –”

“I’m fine,” Len promised. “I wouldn’t mind a decent meal and a few drinks at our next port of call, but I don’t need anything special. Though if you want to talk about it –”

“No. I’m good too,” Jim said and stood. “We’ll have shore leave in about a week. We should be close to Risa.”

Risa. Len sighed. “They have some good restaurants and some good bars.”

“Not to mention a few other good things that you might be interested in.” Jim smiled. “Or at least I might be. I’ll see you later, Bones.”

Despite his reputation, Jim didn’t sleep around that much. And in the last year or so, aside from the inevitable necessity on a mission, he kept to himself. Jim hadn’t talked to Len about that, but he could guess that Jim was interested in someone. Not that he’d say anything about it since Jim wasn’t going to do anything about that.

As Jim left his office, the door only closed halfway. Len groaned. They needed to get that damned door fixed, but no one could figure out what was wrong with it.

While he wasn’t going to tell Jim about it, Len had zero interest in any of the pleasures available on Risa. Maybe he was just getting too old for it. Or perhaps he couldn’t get a certain one-night stand out of his head. Len had thought about that night a lot. It had been the stuff that fantasies were made of. Christopher Pike had been beautiful and courageous. Somehow, he’d taken up residence in Len’s mind and wouldn’t leave.

He’d asked around and found out that most of the people on the Enterprise who had served with Captain Pike still adored him.

At some point, probably when they made it back to Earth, he’d look Pike up. That would probably put paid to the whole thing. Len let out a sigh. Nope. He already knew that wasn’t going to happen like that. But until he got back to earth, nothing was going to happen at all.

*****

Chapter Two

On The Enterprise

Eighteen Months After Pike’s Accident

Day 1

Anticipation slid along Len’s nerves as he hurried toward the transporter room. The doors slid open with a hiss, and Jim and Spock looked up, clearly waiting for him. Scotty was manning the transporter controls.

“You took your time getting here, Bones,” Jim said. “They should be here at any second.”

“Indeed, Doctor, you almost missed them.” Spock sounded faintly amused.

“Couldn’t leave a patient,” Len said. “Remind me again what the Admiral is doing here.” Not that he cared that much because he was very much looking forward to seeing Chris again.

“He is going to negotiate a treaty with Xahea to facilitate their entrance into the Federation,” Spock said, very patiently.

Before Len could say anything else, Chris and his staff materialized on the Enterprise’s transporter platform. “Permission to come aboard,” Chris asked politely.

“Granted, Chris. Excuse me, Admiral Pike,” Jim said, holding out his hand. “Welcome on board, sir.”

Chris took it. “If you called me Chris as captain, you’re welcome to continue to do so. It’s good to see you again, Jim. How are Sam and his family doing now?”

“Sam, Peter, and Aurelian are all doing well. And thank you. Sam told me that he was able to get in touch with you, and you were able to get Starfleet to respond immediately when those flying things first showed up. By the time we got there, we only needed to do some mopping up and help the survivors on Deneva. Fortunately, things have settled down again for them now.”

“I spoke to Sam right after the Starfleet vessel figured out how to destroy the creatures, and I am glad to know he and his family are doing well,” Chris said. “We appreciate the ride out to Xahea.”

“You’re very welcome,” Jim said, and held his hand out. “You know Mr. Spock, of course, and my Chief Engineer, Montgomery Scott. Who is positively gleeful to be getting a chance to meet the queen.”

“Mr. Spock, good to see you,” Chris said with a smile that clearly showed he knew Spock very well. Given everything, that wasn’t much of a surprise to Len.

“Admiral. I am quite pleased to see you looking so well,” Spock said, his hands behind his back.

“Thank you, Mr. Spock. It’s good to be doing so well,” Chris said with a smile and turned to Scotty. “And it’s good to see you again, Mr. Scott. I’m sure you and her Serene Highness will get along well. She’s an impressive engineer.”

“Admiral. I’m very glad to see you looking so well. And I’m excited to meet her, sir,” Scotty said in that still almost unintelligible accent. Not for the first time, Len wondered if they needed to engage the universal translator. “Do you know her?”

“I do. I met her the first time when she was still a teenager,” Chris said.

Scotty looked like he wanted to say something else, but Jim said, “I’m sure there’s a story there. Maybe we can hear it at the reception tonight.”

“Aye, Captain,” Scotty said, sounding somewhat reluctant to let the subject go.

At that point, Len stepped forward, and Chris focused on him. His eyes widened. “Len?” he asked in a tone that held warmth as well as his shock at seeing him out of context.

Len was too old and too jaded to blush like he was doing. He took a breath and held out his hand. “Doctor Leonard McCoy,” he said. “You didn’t know?”

Chris shook his head and took Len’s hand, holding it for maybe a second or two, too long. “Obviously not.”

Everyone was looking at them now.

Chris cleared his throat and looked away from him. “Let me introduce my staff. Commander Rakesh Patel is one of our senior negotiators for the treaty. Commander Katherine James is the second senior negotiator. Commander Derek Swender-Vance is the Starfleet Chief of Security for the negotiations,” Chris said. “And Yeoman Zara Holloway will be taking care of my administrative duties.”

“Good to meet you all,” Jim said, but he gave the security guy a weird look. It was gone in a second, but the guy kind of winced. “My yeoman, Janice Rand, is outside, and she’ll show you all to your quarters.”

“What time is the reception?” Chris asked.

“1900 hours,” Jim said. “In the port galley.”

“I’m going to meet with Captain Kirk and his staff for a quick briefing.” Chris smiled at them. “Zara, can you and Commanders Swender-Vance, James, and Patel find your quarters and settle in?”

“Yes, sir,” They chorused.

*****

Sickbay

An Hour Later

The briefing was as quick as Chris had promised, and Len had no idea what anyone said because he was too focused on Chris to think about anything else. After it, he went back to his office to get some work done. The door chimed, and Len called, “Come.”

Chris walked in, and the door slid halfway shut behind him. “I couldn’t believe it was you just standing there when I beamed aboard. I’ve thought about you so much in the last eighteen months.” Chris looked at him. “When did you find out who I was?”

“Amelia Pike was in the waiting room when I finished your procedures, and you have her eyes.”

“She’s my mom. When I was seven, my first mom was killed in a shuttle accident, and Amelia and her husband Grant, adopted my brother and me,” Chris said. “She’s my father’s sister.”

“I want to hear all about that, but not right this second,” Len said, stepping forward.

The atmosphere in the room shifted subtly, and the memories of their encounter slid through Len’s mind, more vividly than the usual memories that Len had never been able to banish. He swallowed hard, his heart pounding. “I have missed you and thought of you so many times. I swear I lived on those fantasies.”

Without another word, Chris closed the gap between them, his lips pressing to Len’s in a hard kiss. Len’s eyes closed, and he surged forward, kissing him again, deeper. God, he’d wanted this so much, thought about it all the time since he’d last seen Chris.

Len groaned deep in his chest, and he gripped the front of Chris’ uniform jacket, dragging him closer.

The kiss deepened further, as Chris pressed into Len, his hands slid down to cup Len’s ass, pulling him tighter, and he groaned. Chris’ chest was hard against his, the heat of their bodies penetrating all the layers of his clothes.

“God, I’ve missed you so much,” Chris groaned, pulling back slightly, his forehead resting against Len’s.

Len tightened his arms and turned them both, pressing Chris’ back against the wall of his office, and he leaned in, kissing him again. He’d missed Chris so much, too.

“I need you,” Len moaned. He felt raw and unsteady, desperate in a way he never was. “Now.”

Chris’s hands were relentless, running over his body, and then deftly undoing the clasps of his jacket, Chris hand moving under Len’s shirt to touch his bare back, fingers moving in a slow caress. Len trembled, and Chris’ mouth pressed against his neck.

“I’ve thought about you so many times,” Chris gasped out unevenly.

Len’s desire built, and he could feel Chris’ as well. He pressed further into Chris, needing to be closer.

“Me, too.” Len panted as Chris shifted his thigh between Len’s legs, pressing into him. The movement was exquisite, hot and sharp, and he slid forward, pressing harder against him. “More. Now.”

Chris’ movements became urgent. Each thrust against him pushed Len higher.

Chris kissed him again, harder still, his tongue sliding into Len’s mouth, and Len moaned in pleasure, his fingers now working at Chris’s pants, desperate, wanting to touch him, needing it. His hand slid into Chris’ pants, taking hold of his cock, rubbing his thumb across the slick top.

Chris inhaled sharply, and his hand slid down Len’s chest, under the waistband of his pants, and took hold of him as well. He moved against Chris ravenously, no gentleness, no finesse, only the raw hunger slicing through him.

He needed it so badly, wanted it so badly. And finally, pleasure rushed over Len, his body shuddering with the force of it. He came hot and messy against his skin. Chris followed him.

For a moment, they remained pressed together, their breaths coming in gasps against each other’s mouths.

“That was just incredible,” Len managed to say, still out of breath. But sanity was returning, and with it the reality of what they had just done. “I’ve never done anything like that on duty –”

“Me neither,” Chris said, with his pupils blown wide open and a slight frown on his face. “I don’t even know how that just happened.”

“I don’t either,” Len said, his body still humming with pleasure. It had been amazing. Without thinking about it, he leaned in to kiss Chris one more time, and surprisingly, desire flared again.

Chris closed his eyes and opened his mouth to Len’s deepening kiss. His arms slid back around Len, and as the kiss finished, their eyes met. “I don’t think we’re done with each other yet.” But he did not sound worried about it.

And Len wasn’t either. Though maybe he should be. “Let’s go to my quarters,” Len suggested.

His arousal was not subsiding. In fact, it felt like it was building in a way that hadn’t happened in years.

“I don’t understand what’s going on with us,” Len said, unconcerned about the why of it right now. “Given our ages and what just happened, this should not even be possible.”

“I would have said that was true for me, up until this second.” Chris stepped back and held out his hand. “We should get out of here before we end up naked on the floor.”

That mental image slid ever so pleasantly across Len’s mind, causing him to close his eyes and take a breath. Fortunately, Len’s quarters were on this deck, because they needed to get there, fast. All he wanted right now was to touch Chris again. Naked this time. Nothing else mattered.

*****

McCoy’s Quarters

After Len and Chris entered his quarters, Len took his hand and led him into his bedroom. He turned to Chris, reaching out for him, bringing him close, and kissing him again. The need that had been simmering between them started to swell to a boil, and he pulled Chris closer, deepening the kiss. Chris’ hands were on his back and his ass, also trying to pull Len even closer.

“I need you,” Len panted. “Please.”

“Anything you want, Sweetheart,” Chris said, his hand on Len’s shirt, deftly undoing the buttons.

They parted long enough to get their clothes off and then stepped against each other, skin to skin. It was beyond delicious, and it raised the level of Len’s hunger up another notch.

“Get into bed,” Chris said.

“There’s lube in the bedside drawer,” Len said, moving across the bed so that Chris could join him. “It’s been a while, so use a lot.”

It had been years since he’d allowed anyone to fuck him. For Len, it usually took a level of trust that he rarely achieved with his partners. Despite Chris being a virtual stranger, there was something else between them. Something important.

Chris’ hands were sure and gentle as he touched Len, and his fingers knew what they were doing. After a few minutes, Len was climbing through all the mounting pleasure, reveling in it. He moaned and writhed, pushing back as the pleasure heightened.

“Now, please,” he begged. “‘Not going to last much longer.”

“I’ll take care of you,” Chris promised. And he moved Len onto his back, arranging his legs and moving forward to begin the long, slow slide.

Len gasped at the first contact.

Damn. It had been too long. He had forgotten what this felt like, how much it could move him. Or maybe it was just Chris, and his exquisite touch, and the wonder of what was happening between them. Len didn’t know and couldn’t hold on to his thoughts long enough to figure it out.

Chris was moving into him, slowly, and then faster, finally racing toward their shared goal. It was still such a surprise when it struck. He hadn’t expected it to feel like this, so overwhelming, so intense. As it crested, Len moaned and shook, holding on because there was nothing else he could do but ride it out.

In the aftermath, he was breathless, done in. Or he should have been. As soon as he turned towards Chris, he was stunned at the desire that washed over him again. He could already tell that Chris was feeling it too.

“This shouldn’t be possible,” Chris murmured. “I want you again.”

“Yes, me too,” Len agreed, turning on his side and pulling Chris closer. He wanted, needed, to bury himself inside Chris. “Are you willing?”

Chris knew what he meant and said, “Anything you want, Sweetheart. However you want it.”

“I want you,” he replied. “I don’t understand how or why, but I need you.”

Chris nodded, a hand reaching out to grab the bottle of lube from where it had been abandoned on the bed. “There’s been no one since you the last time.”

Len had the thought that there was never going to be anyone else other than him from now on. But he dismissed it as ridiculous. They had just met. Or met again. In all, they hadn’t known each other for a whole day yet.

Yet somehow he knew that wasn’t going to matter. He took the lube and leaned in to kiss Chris again, pressing him into the bedding.

*****

Eight Hours Later

Len dragged on a pair of sweatpants and a T-shirt. Chris was still sprawled naked and sleeping in his bed. He’d never had that much sex in so short a time. Not even when he was a teenager and had a ten-minute refractory period. They had fucked each other, repeatedly, kissing and sleeping in between.

The intense arousal was starting to clear from his mind, and God, he was too tired to even think about what had happened. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to Chris’ temple. Chris murmured appreciatively and turned over, not even waking up.

Reality was starting to come back to Len, as well. He needed some water and probably some food. In his entire career, he had never done anything like what just happened, never ignored his duty like that. He hoped there hadn’t been an emergency or anything too pressing because he wasn’t sure he would have heard the overhead page. Everything had narrowed down to Chris and his desperate need for him. This had become something other than a fond memory he could not let go of. And while it was glorious, it was also terrifying at the same time.

He went out into the living room and stopped at the sight of Jim sitting on his sofa, clearly having been there for a while.

“I was wondering when you’d finally come out,” Jim said, and he did not look amused. In fact, he seemed grim. “Are you all right?”

Len just nodded. “I need some water.” He went to the replicator on the wall beside the table, got a glass, drank it down, and then got another one and drank that as well.

“Were you coerced in any way?” Jim asked, standing. “Because I’ve known you for a very long time, and I’ve never seen you abandon your post without a damned good reason.”

Fuck. Yeah, there was that, too. “No coercion. It was something else. I, we, were…I don’t want to say compelled, but every time we touched,” Len said, running a hand over his head and onto his neck, which was sore. “Not even touched, just got close to each other, we had sex. All day. I’ve never felt anything like it. So, maybe compelled is a good description. I don’t know. I didn’t feel unwilling at any point, although maybe we could have skipped the last time.”

Jim’s eyes widened, and his mouth opened, and his demeanor changed perceptibly from concerned to something else. It almost seemed like a threat assessment. “Sexually compelled? Do you mean like some kind of sex pollen, maybe?”

For a second, Len was surprised by the change, but then he sighed. “For all the jokes about it, I’ve never actually run into a true sex pollen compulsion. I mean, the closest thing would have been what happened on Omicron Ceti III with the spores, which wasn’t about sex per se. I didn’t feel compelled to have sex then. That just lowered all of my inhibitions. As I recall, I wanted a mint Julep in the worst way,” Len rubbed his neck again. “And where would I have picked it up, anyway?”

“I don’t know. This isn’t like you. Or Chris, for that matter,” Jim said thoughtfully. “Are you okay physically?”

“I’m fine, really,” Len snapped. “Unless you want the actual details?”

Jim shook his head. “Do I need them? If you’re actually physically injured, I can call Candice or Christine.”

For a moment, Len thought about what he was feeling physically and the implications of a possible injury. “I’m not injured so much as stiff and sore from the overindulgence of the day. I’m also fairly certain that the admiral has to have the same issues. I hope that nothing exacerbated his preexisting injuries. Beyond that, I think he is probably dehydrated. Neither of us has eaten or drank anything all day.”

“I think you and he need to have full physicals done and compared to your last one. We can’t let this go without some documentation that you’re both okay physically. I’m going to take you off duty for the next twenty-four hours –”

That was a good point. He could feel the stiffness of too much physical excess starting to set in. “I agree about the physicals, but I don’t think that it’s necessary to take me off duty –”

“Not your call, Bones. I think you and Chris need to figure out what is happening between you,” Jim said, and glanced at him. “Also, you’ll need to file consent forms. There’s a three-rank disparity.”

Len hadn’t even thought about something like consent forms, not that he’d thought about anything other than Chris. “I’ll let him know when he wakes up.”

“One more thing, I think you should both show up at the reception. It’s already all over the ship that you both spent the afternoon together in your quarters.” Jim looked at him. “Spock and I saw you together in your office just before you disappeared. I’m going to assume that was what was going on then.”

Damned that door, Len thought. “Yes, it started there.” That part was one of the sexiest things that he’d ever done. He looked down, trying to keep the smile off his face. “I haven’t thought of any single thing other than him for the last however many hours it’s been.”

“About nine hours since he came on board.”

“How did you find out where we were?” Len asked.

“Spock said he tried to find Chris to talk to him, and he wasn’t in his quarters. Spock then asked the computer where Chris was and how long he’d been there,” Jim said. “That was about thirty minutes ago. I used my override when you didn’t answer the door, but I could hear that you and he were busy. And it didn’t sound or feel like you, either of you, were in any distress, so I waited until you were finished and came out.”

Len breathed out sharply. “I have no idea what to say to that. Thanks, though. I appreciate your concern and your discretion with this.”

“That’s my job,” Jim said. “But as I said, by this point, it is pretty much known by everyone where you both spent the day.”

That was life on a starship. “Nothing we can do about it now.”

“I’ll see you both at the reception.” Jim stood and stepped towards the door.

“Thanks, Jim,” Len said as he went out.

*****

Chris woke and turned over when Len sat down on the bed. His hand reached out and slid along Len’s thigh.

“You need to get up,” Len said, leaning down to kiss him.

“Why?” Chris murmured. He was quite comfortable, his body sated as it hadn’t been in, maybe ever. Though he could feel the soreness in various places. They had been pretty uncontrolled at times during the last few hours. His mind cleared a little more, and he remembered everything. “What the fuck just happened?”

“When,” Len asked, amusement in his voice. “Do you mean, in the last eight or so hours of us having constant sex? Or when I went out just now, and Jim was sitting in my living room also wondering what was going on.”

Chris closed his eyes. “Yeah, both of those are good questions to start with.”

“The first of which I have no answer to. The second, I told him the truth. Apparently, almost everyone has noted our absence. And we have about forty-five minutes to get up, clean up, and get ready for the reception.”

“Reception, right?” Chris said, pushing the sheet down and sitting up. He winced. His back and shoulders were not happy with him right now. And he could already feel the strain in his right leg, which still carried some weakness from the accident. “Shower first.”

“Actually, water first. You’re dehydrated.” Len handed him a glass of water.

Chris drank it, and yeah, that was necessary. “Thanks. Now, a shower.” A hot one, with water to ease the muscular soreness. Chris was hungry, too. But he could probably get something at the reception. He glanced at Len. “Join me?”

“Do you think that’s a good idea?” Len asked, standing so Chris could get out of bed.

He looked at Len, and while he thoroughly appreciated how sexy he was in those sweatpants that were riding low on his hips, the tight T-shirt showing off his chest, and how much he would want him later, but for now, he was tapped out. “It’s safe on my end.”

“I think I’ll let you go first and not chance it,” Len said with a rueful smile. “We need to go to the reception.”

“All right,” Chris said, a little disappointed, but he pushed himself out of bed and made his way to the bathroom.

In a few minutes, he was headed back, feeling much cleaner with the sweat and other bodily fluids washed off his body. He used Len’s uniform replicator to replicate one for himself and got dressed.

Len came out of the shower and got dressed. “Do you want to talk about this?”

Under normal circumstances, Chris wasn’t big on talking about anything personal, but maybe they should say something. “Do you know something I don’t? Nothing like this has ever happened to me before. And I’ve encountered some strange damned things, both mentally and sexually, in my years in space.”

“Me, too,” Len agreed. “And no, I have no idea what this is. But –” He stopped and sighed. “I know there’s something deep and strong between us. Some kind of connection. I don’t know what it is.”

“I agree there’s something. And we’re going to need to figure it out. But for now, let’s go to the reception so I can get something to eat.”

“Good thought,” Len said. “I’m hungry too.”

*****

Fortunately, the reception was low-key, which Chris appreciated. He and Len were able to get something to eat, and Len had drifted off to talk to Christine about something. Probably about what had happened in sickbay while they’d been unavailable. Chris was having some trouble with the concept that they’d just left and had sex all day, but he hadn’t thought about anything other than Len and his need for him. It was ridiculous. And he felt like he should be more upset about it than he was.

Before they were done here, Chris needed to talk to Jim about what was happening between him and Len, and he probably needed to report this up the chain of command. It was clear that he and Len had both been compromised in some way. And while it felt like it was better now, he couldn’t have this happen again. So, Bob April was next on his list of people to talk to, but probably not until tomorrow morning.

As Chris watched, Derek turned around and went in a different direction when Jim Kirk was coming his way. Chris had no idea what was happening with that, but he probably needed to talk to Derek about it. He’d add it to the list.

“May I speak to you privately, Admiral?” Spock said, startling him out of his thoughts.

“Of course, Commander,” Chris said. He followed Spock to one of the sound-dampened tables. It was one of the things he’d always loved about the Port Galley, privacy in plain sight.

“What can I do for you, Spock?” Chris asked, sitting down with a sigh of relief. Even now, when he was mostly healed, standing for long periods of time could still make his back and leg ache. Not to mention the residual soreness from his earlier activities. Though he wasn’t going to complain about that. It had been worth it.

Spock sat across from him and seemed to steel himself. “I am uncertain of the protocol for this, so I am going to just ask. I saw you and Doctor McCoy in sickbay this morning. Captain Kirk was with me. He seemed to feel that what you were doing was with mutual consent. After that, I was unable to find you and Doctor McCoy –”

Chris sucked in a shocked breath. “How did you see us?”

“The door was half-open. It sticks sometimes,” Spock said. “And I ascertained from the computer that you were in his quarters. I had hoped to speak with you before now.”

“Apologies. And something happened between Len, Doctor McCoy, and me. I don’t have an explanation for what it was.”

Spock managed to convey his concern without any kind of emotional display on his face. Or maybe Chris just knew how to read him at this point.

“It was consensual, then?” Spock asked. “He had your back pressed against the wall. Given your injuries, that looked forced to me. And then you and he –”

“I appreciate your concern, but yes, completely consensual. As I said, something is happening between us, some kind of deep connection or –” Chris shrugged. “I’m not sure what.”

“I would not have expected either of you to have engaged each other quite like that, so quickly or for as long.” Spock cleared his throat. “In fact, I would say that two human males of your age could not –”

“That should be true. Except obviously, it is possible because it happened.” Chris smirked a little, still finding it hard to believe. “Repeatedly.”

“Indeed,” Spock said with an eyebrow raised, and his mouth quirked in a not-quite smile.

Chris just nodded. “I was surprised, and so was Doctor McCoy.”

“Does it concern you?” Spock asked. “I have never heard of anything that could cause this type of reaction. Certainly nothing we have encountered in our travels.”

“There’s that, too,” Chris agreed. “I plan to report the incident to Starfleet.”

“I believe Captain Kirk has submitted a report, as well. He also seemed both surprised and concerned by what was happening between you both.”

Something about how he said that made Chris look at him. But there was nothing he could see on Spock’s face or in his demeanor that gave anything away. Even to him, who knew Spock well. “Is that a problem for you?”

“I do not believe that there is,” Spock said. “Are you concerned about what happened?”

“I am,” Chris said. But he wasn’t ready to discuss it with Spock at this point. “But I don’t know anything yet.” There was something else, not related to what happened, that he wanted to talk to Spock about. “And before I forget to say this, thank you again for everything you did for me. Not just arranging for Len to do the radiation mitigations but interceding with your father to have the Enterprise recalled.”

Spock looked down and then back at him. “I could not do anything less for you.”

“Truly, I’m grateful beyond words for what you did for me,” Chris said. “Why didn’t you tell me, though?”

“I could not give you hope and have it fail. I put the pieces into place, but I could not control the ultimate outcome. They had to work out what needed to be done.”

“And they all did. Especially Doctor McCoy. And he didn’t even know me.” Not then, at least.

Spock raised an eyebrow. “I thought that there was –”

And Chris shook his head. “I met him that last night after I saw you.”

Spock looked surprised, and clearly, he was letting Chris see that. “I am gratified to hear that you were not alone. I am also relieved to see you doing so well.” He stood.

Chris nodded, and Spock walked away. Across the room, he saw Derek talking intently to a Vulcan woman at one of the privacy tables. He barely had time to wonder about that when Len joined him. Not kissing him was more challenging than it should have been.

*****

“Almost done here?” Len asked, sitting down at the table next to him. “I’m starting to think that we need to get back to my quarters.”

“I think so, as well,” Chris said. The need to touch Len became urgent as soon as he appeared at the table. “I feel like I should be more worried about this than I am. Do you think that it’s something we picked up, or is it something else?”

“I don’t know,” Len said. “And yeah, I should be more concerned. In fact, we should have gone straight to sickbay and been checked out for pathogens, and I don’t know, maybe sex pollen or something else.”

“I know you’re right about that, but right now, all I want is to be alone with you and –” Chris shrugged. This was so unlike him. “Why aren’t we concerned?”

Len looked a bit surprised by the question. “We should be. So, it’s affecting how we think as well as the growing intensity of what we’re feeling.” He reached out and took Chris’ hand.

And something inside Chris relaxed at the touch. “It feels less intense when we’re touching.”

Len’s hand tightened on his. “Are you okay? I could feel you were irritated by this.”

“You could feel that?” Chris asked. “You’re that empathic?”

For a second, Len seemed to hesitate, but finally he sighed and nodded. “Yes. If someone is paying attention, then it becomes apparent after you know me for a while.”

“I imagine that’s useful as a doctor,” Chris said.

“It is, and with you, too. Especially when I’m touching you,” Len said, glancing at their still intertwined hands. “What irritated you before?”

Chris sighed. “This is disconcerting, and as much as I like you, I’m not happy to be forced.” He closed his eyes and could feel Len tense at the word. “I guess forced wasn’t quite the right word. But I’m not sure what to call it.”

“We should probably go get checked out before we do anything else. I’m going to ask Christine to come back on duty to look into this. I hadn’t mentioned it to her before when I was talking to her,” Len said, standing.

“Wait a second,” Chris said, annoyed again. “I’m not sure it’s necessary to do right now.”

Len snorted. “You’re joking, right? Of course, it’s necessary. We’re having some kind of intense reaction to each other, and neither one of us is bothered by it.”

“Your point?”

“My point is that we both should be. This is completely out of character for me, and I’m going to assume you, too. Something is causing this. And as wonderful as all the sex this afternoon was, it wasn’t normal for either of us. This should be setting off all kinds of alarm bells in both of us.”

“I hate it that you’re right. However, I am not on board with making Christine do it right now. It’s late. It will wait until the morning.”

“No. Damnit all, it won’t wait. It can’t wait.” Len put his hands on his hips and glared at him. “Why don’t you see this?”

Chris could almost feel his annoyance, but he was annoyed too. And he didn’t like someone rolling over what he was saying and disregarding his opinion like this. “It will wait,” Chris said, putting some command in his tone.

But there was Len, shaking his head. “That tone is not going to work with me,” he said, pulling out his communicator. “McCoy to Chapel.”

“Didn’t I just talk to you a minute ago, Len?” she said by way of a greeting. She sounded amused, too.

“Can I ask a favor?” Len asked, his tone was serious.

“Depends on what it is,” she came back.

“I need you to go back on duty for about an hour or so and do a couple of complete physicals.”

“On who?”

“Me and Admiral Pike.”

“I’ll meet you in sickbay,” she said, and her tone had changed a hundred and eighty degrees from the playfulness that she had exhibited before, to completely professional after. “Give me ten minutes.”

“Thanks,” Len said and snapped it closed. He looked at Chris. “After you, Admiral.”

“I told you it would wait,” Chris snapped, angry at being ignored. “I meant it. You’re pretty damned bossy with someone who outranks you.”

Len straightened up to his full height and looked right at him, unyieldingly. “I am the Chief Medical Officer for this ship, and I said it couldn’t wait. No one outranks me when I say something, anything to do with the medical health of those aboard this ship.” He pointed a finger at Chris. “Not even you.”

When he put it like that, Chris was hard-pressed to find an argument that would work with anyone. “I don’t agree with you.”

“I know. But you know I’m right,” Len said flatly. “Come on, let’s go.”

Before Chris could say anything, Jim joined them. “I hope you’re not thinking about leaving together without giving me something that shows you’re both consenting to this,” Jim said seriously. “I’m not usually a stickler for these kinds of rules, but after this afternoon, I think I need something explicit.”

“We’re actually going to sickbay to be checked out,” Len said.

“That’s probably a good idea,” Jim said. “I should have insisted on it, rather than making you both attend the reception.”

“I agreed with going to the reception after what happened. It assured everyone that Dr. McCoy and I were all right after whatever happened today.” Chris hadn’t even had to think about that. It was always the crew first.

“I’m going to assume you’re both still feeling what you were feeling earlier,” Jim guessed.

“Yes. And it is starting to get worse,” Len said. “We need to rule out a pathogen or something along those lines.”

“I agree,” Jim said. “Did you ask Christine to come back on duty? I saw her leave after talking to someone on her communicator.”

“That was me, and yes. I would rather have her do it than the medic on duty right now,” Len said, sounding a little defensive.

“I think it can wait until the morning,” Chris said. “But clearly I’m outvoted.”

“I think so, Chris,” Jim said, not unkindly. “I’ll stop by sickbay in about an hour and see if you’ve found anything.”

“Of course,” Chris agreed.

“Let’s go,” Len nodded toward the exit.

“Fine.” Chris stood, following him out of the reception room.

*****

They walked toward sickbay, and Len could almost feel how angry Chris was with being overruled. It probably didn’t happen often. Well, if they were going to be involved — and Len was pretty sure that was going to happen — Chris would need to get used to not always having his own way. Len didn’t yield easily or at all.

Sickbay doors opened, and Christine was waiting for them, back in uniform, too. “Thanks again, Christine,” Len said. “We both need complete scans.”

“Does this have anything to do with you both disappearing all day?” she asked, nodding towards exam room one. In as few a words as possible, and in a completely clinical tone, he told her what had happened that afternoon.

She didn’t even blink. “All right, you’re in exam room one, Doctor.” She turned to Chris. “You can either wait here or wait in exam room two. I’m going to do Doctor McCoy first and give him the results. That will give us an idea of what we’re dealing with.”

Chris looked surprised, but he nodded and walked towards the other exam room.

Len followed Cristine into the room. She patted the bed and turned on the monitors, adjusting the dials. “I assumed you would want this done privately. But do you want Chris, the admiral, here?”

Did he? “I think it would be okay either way, but this is fine. I hope he waits. He wasn’t all that agreeable to doing this, now.”

“Why did you? I mean, could it have waited?”

“The desire was coming back,” Len looked at her. “Even now, I want him very badly.” And it was getting harder not to give in. But this was important and needed to be done now. If there was something they needed to deal with, having sex again might make it worse. Len knew already that there was no way it wasn’t going to happen again as soon as they were alone.

“Lie down,” Christine said, breaking into his thoughts. “I’ll run a full scan.”

He hesitated for one second, and she gave him a look. He lay down on the bed. “What do you see?”

“Just what you’d expect, physically. But there is nothing to explain why this happened.” She adjusted the settings. “Hold still for a few minutes.”

It hadn’t occurred to him that he was carrying some residual soreness, but he could feel it lessening. “Thanks.”

“It probably would have healed on its own in a few days. But there’s always the potential for infection.” Christine folded her arms over her chest. “I do not see anything to explain this. Or why it might be recurring.” A minute or two went by. “All right, you’re done. I compared it to your last scan, which was only a couple of months ago.”

“Put it on the main screen so I can take a look at it,” Len said, standing. But she was right, there was nothing there that he could see. Nothing that stood out. “Damn.”

“I need to do the exam for the Admiral, now.”

Len nodded. “I don’t know if he’s going to let me be present.”

*****

Chris looked up from his padd when he and Christine came into the room.

“Your call on whether Doctor McCoy stays or waits outside.”

“I don’t actually care,” Chris said. “Did you find anything?”

Len shook his head. “Nothing. We compared it to my last scan, and there literally was nothing that had changed.”

“Were you actually expecting something?” Chris asked.

“I’m not sure,” Len said, glancing at Christine. “Did you think of anything else it might be?”

“I got nothing on this one,” she said, and adjusted some of the dials. “Lie back, Chris, Admiral.”

“You can still call me Chris,” he said. “I actually prefer it.”

She nodded and, a minute or two later said, “Nothing for you, either. Your previous scan was almost exactly the same as this one. A little better muscle tone and a little more weight. Hold still for one more second.”

Almost as soon as she said it, Len could see Chris relax infinitesimally. He might have been more concerned than he was letting on.

“Thanks, Christine,” Chris said. “I appreciate the care.”

“I wish I had more to tell you about this,” she said. “Do you want to see the results?”

“No. Len can look at them.”

“Put them on the screen. Let me take a look right now,” Len said, looking at them. But the comparison was exactly what Christine had said. “There’s nothing there.”

“So, we still don’t know what it is. Or why it’s affecting only you and me,” Chris summarized. “I do think we’re done here.”

“Yeah. We should probably do another scan in a day or two if things don’t let up,” Christine suggested. “But if there’s nothing now, I doubt it will be different, but we should do our due diligence.”

“I agree,” Len said. “It’s a good idea to just make sure.”

Chris looked like he might argue, but he just sighed. “All right.”

*****

Christine was in her office writing up the reports. And Chris was more than ready to go back to his quarters, or Len’s if he was invited, which he was not sure of at this point. Len came out of his office and looked at him. Damn, he wanted him so badly right now.

“Yeah, me too,” Len said, and came over to stand in front of him.

“What do you want to do about it?” Chris asked, a little tentatively.

Len smiled slightly. “I don’t know. Do you want to come back to my quarters?”

“I would,” Chris admitted. “I really would.”

“Good, because I was worried that you’d be pissed at me about all of this. Especially when there wasn’t anything found.”

Yeah, he could see where Len might think that. “Just because we didn’t find anything, doesn’t mean something isn’t there. Or that we shouldn’t have looked.”

Len looked surprised by that. “It didn’t seem like you thought that when we got here.”

“I had a few minutes to think when you were getting the exam, and I realized you were right, that we need to be looked at, probably right after it happened. But as I told Jim, I understood his thinking.”

Jim came into sickbay then. “How are you both doing?”

“Nothing on either of our scans to explain what’s going on,” Len said. “Christine will send you a report within the next thirty or so minutes. But full scans and complete comparisons were done.”

“That’s good to know, for both of you. But there’s still the problem of what happened, and if you’re leaving for your quarters together, I still need something from you both saying you’re okay with each other and what’s happening.”

“Fair enough,” Chris said. “We’ll file the forms tomorrow, but for tonight. We–” No. He did not speak for Len at all. “I’m consenting.” He looked at Len.

“Me too, Jim,” Len said and glanced at Chris. “It’s three full ranks, too.”

“I assumed you were a full commander,” Chris said, but he did not care about that, not right now. “So, we should get going. I’m exhausted. Good night, Jim.”

Len fell into step with him. “Your quarters are probably a better idea. Mine are a disaster.”

“Yeah, we’ll need to clean that up tomorrow.” Chris winced at the thought of what Len’s bed probably looked like.

“Very domestic of you,” Len said laughing, and leaned in to kiss him. Which may have been a mistake. The desire that had been barely under control started to bubble up.

“We should get going,” Chris said, taking Len’s hand, toeing him along.

*****

They walked quickly to the guest quarters, and as soon as they were inside the door, Len pushed him against the wall and proceeded to kiss him thoroughly. His tongue slid leisurely into Chris’ mouth. “Oh, God, it feels like I’ve been waiting to do that for days. I need you.”

“Me, too,” Chris said, reaching for Len. Just touching him eased something in him, but it also ignited the deep want that was permeating every cell in his body. His arms slid completely around Len, and he pushed into Chris. Should they talk about this? He really didn’t want to.

“No more talking tonight,” Len said, tightening his arms around Chris and kissing him. “We need more kissing now, and then, it’s time to be naked.”

“I’m definitely in favor of naked,” Chris said as he pulled back from the kiss, reluctantly. He needed to get his clothes off. His jacket went over the back of the desk chair. Then he reached for Len, kissing him again, trying for soft but maybe not getting there. The need was pushing at him, and as much as he wanted to give in, he also wanted to try and take it a little slower.

Len took his hand and led him into the bedroom, and stopped before Chris’ bed. He took hold of the hem of Len’s shirt and pulled it and the undershirt over his head.

As Len reached for his undershirt, Chris took his hand and brought it to his mouth to kiss it.

“I am going to lick every single inch of you,” Len promised.

And God, he wanted him to do that so badly. A tremor went through Chris. “I would love that. We didn’t get to a lot of that this afternoon.”

“Too busy with the fucking each other blind, and not enough time for any of the other pleasures,” Len said. “All I want right now is to get you naked and give you pleasure.”

“I’m in favor of you doing that, too.” Chris stepped back a little and pulled his own undershirt over his head. “I want to do the same to you. Slowly.”

“Yes. Slow would be nice. If we can.” Len ran a hand down his chest, tracing the longest scar down to the edge of his pants. He pushed both Chris’ pants and underwear down, then knelt to help him take them off, along with his boots and socks. Len licked up his thigh, along a scar line there. Chris was starting to tremble from the slow exploration.

After a second, he took Chris’ cock into his mouth. Almost immediately, Chris was on the edge, and he made an incoherent sound, touching Len’s hair.

Len pulled back and stood, his hands on Chris’ hips. “Too much?”

“Let’s get into bed,” Chris said, holding out a hand to Len.

He took it and slid in beside Chris.

“Of course, Admiral. Anything you want,” Len murmured.

“I’m not crazy about you calling me that in this context,” Chris said with a frown. He didn’t like being reminded of that.

“It’s a fact of our lives. I’m going to have to call you, sir or Admiral, outside of your quarters or mine, and maybe when I say it outside, you’ll think about me saying it inside.”

“I like the idea of that. I’m not sure it will work. It feels like there is a gap between us that was artificially engineered,” Chris said. “But that’s a problem for another day. Right now, come here. I want you.”

“Have me as you please,” Len said, rolling them both so that he was on the bottom and Chris was on top of him.

Chris kissed him deeply, his hand running gently down along Len’s side. For a long time, they just kissed each other, savoring the build of the tension between them. And finally, Chris started to move down Len’s body.

“You taste so good,” Chris murmured, running his tongue along Len’s neck, kissing along his collarbone. Len’s breath caught when Chris’ mouth licked along his chest, nipping here or there. That response was such a turn-on. Len was getting close, but Chris had much more to explore before then.

“Turn over,” he said. And Len did as he asked. Every time his mouth touched Len’s skin, he made an appreciative sound. Chris could get drunk on that sound.

He licked slowly along the length of Len’s spine, leisurely, just enjoying the taste of him. And it sounded like Len was starting to get increasingly desperate for more. More was coming.

“Oh, fucking hell,” Len panted, moaning as Chris’ tongue continued to slide slowly over his skin. He pressed back against Chris’ mouth. “Please.”

He turned Len again and finally took his cock into his mouth. Len groaned as he started to move into Chris’ mouth. He ran his hand along Len’s thighs to encourage him to move.

“God, more,” Len gasped, his hand sliding over Chris’ hair.

It didn’t take long for Len to gasp, and then he started to come. “Fuck,” Len growled, his hips moving, his hands caught in the sheets.

After another moment or two, Len opened his eyes and smiled at Chris. “That was lovely, but it’s my turn now,” he said, “I promised to lick every inch of you.”

He started down Chris’ body, traversing much the same trail Chris had taken on him. It didn’t take long for Chris to get to the edge, trembling and moaning as each sensation washed over him.

God, Len’s mouth, so hot and tender. Chris loved the feeling of moving in and out of it. He wasn’t going to be able to hold it together for long. It was too much, too strong, too good.

When the heat and passion crested, it was still a shock. Chris came, whining out his pleasure in a long, low sound. God, that had been magnificent. Len was magnificent.

Len turned onto his side and gathered Chris close to him, kissing him softly one more time and pulling him closer. “I have to be on duty tomorrow at 0900.”

“My alarm is set for 0700,” Chris murmured, his eyes closing. He was going to fall asleep without any problem tonight.

*****

Chapter Three

Day 2

The morning came too quickly, and Len awoke to Chris stretching out in a pair of thin running shorts. While he appreciated the view, what Chris was doing looked painful and difficult. Len got up and hit the shower. He replicated a clean uniform. And then got some coffee.

“Done,” he asked as Chris got up off the floor.

“Yes. I am not fond of doing that every day, but I have to admit that it has done me a lot of good.”

“What else do you do, in terms of therapies?” Len asked, curious about what had helped him recover.

“I lift weights and run or swim on alternate days.”

Len took Chris into his arms and kissed him. “I need to get to sickbay soon,” he said, kissing him again and running his hand down Chris’ back, down to the waistband of Chris’ shorts, and sliding his hand over his ass. He needed to stop that now, or he was going to put Chris on the floor.

He took a breath and moved his hands back to safer territory. Though just touching him made Len want him. “Come by sickbay at lunch, maybe we can eat together.”

“Didn’t Jim tell you that you were off duty for twenty-four hours?” Chris asked, leaning in for another kiss.

“Oh, he did,” Len said with a laugh. “And has done so many other times in the past. I’m going to ignore him like I always do.” He met Chris’ eyes. “I don’t take orders well, or at all.”

“It’s amazing you haven’t ended up in the brig for that,” Chris said in an amused tone.

“Well, I’m an excellent doctor, and that buys me a certain amount of leeway.” Len knew when to push and when not to, so that also helped. “I am always behind on everything, so I need to go in.”

“I understand that. I still have a lot of work to do before we get to Xahea. When do you get off tonight?” Chris asked.

“In theory, I’ll be off by 1800 hours,” Len said. But it was just as likely that something would come up and delay him. “But doctors don’t get to work regular hours. Especially on a starship.”

Chris kissed him and then took a step back. “Come back when you get off, and we can have dinner in the galley. Pity there isn’t a kitchen anywhere around. I’m a pretty good cook.”

Len was surprised. Most people didn’t know how to cook these days. “I would love a home-cooked meal.”

“When we get back to San Francisco, I’ll make you dinner,” Chris said. “But now, go before I try to get you back into bed.”

“It wouldn’t take much. But I can’t be late, Chapel will never let me hear the end of it, especially after last night.”

“She was always like that,” Chris said.

*****

Len went into his office, but the door only made it halfway across the track. “Computer, send someone to fix my door.”

A few minutes later, Spock appeared in his office doorway. Len was sure he wasn’t there to fix his door. “What can I do for you, Spock?”

“I wished to speak to you about Admiral Pike,” Spock said, coming into his office. When the door closed only halfway, he fiddled with something in a panel by the door, and it closed completely.

“I wish you’d done that yesterday,” Len said, nodding towards the door. He wasn’t sure how he felt about the whole ship knowing what he’d done with Chris the day before. But that was life on a starship, and there was nothing he could do about it, especially not now.

“I’m sure it would have saved you some embarrassment,” Spock said, without inflection but still a note of censure in his tone, as if he thought he got to have an opinion on that subject.

“I’m not embarrassed at all. In fact, I’m quite pleased with the situation.” While it wasn’t completely true, he wasn’t going to discuss that with Spock. Len sat back in his chair.

“I am sure you are. However, I would like to remind you that Admiral Pike is very important to many people on this ship.” He met Len’s eyes. “Myself included.”

Len sucked in a breath and let it out slowly. “Don’t tell me that you are coming into my office to give me the Vulcan version of the shovel talk?” That would be intolerable from anyone, but Spock’s possessiveness was somehow worse.

“What are you talking about?” Spock said, sounding so damned indignant, which was no easy feat for him at this point.

This was going to be one of those moments when Len needed to rein in his temper. He counted to ten before he answered. “Let me remind you that what is between the Admiral and me is private to us. I know the whole damned ship is gossiping about us right now, but –”

Spock glared at him for a moment, not looking at all unemotional. “Last night, you left with him as the entire crew watched. After having spent the day doing –”

“Do not finish that sentence, Mr. Spock. How and why I spend my time with the Admiral is none of your damned concern. I understand that you care deeply about him, but that doesn’t give you the right to dictate to me –”

“I am doing nothing of the sort,” Spock declared in that perfectly superior tone he had. “You are clearly having an emotional reaction to what I am trying to say –”

“You are damned right I am having an emotional reaction,” Len said. “I do that. He matters a great deal to me. And I can see you don’t understand that.”

“I do care very much about the Admiral.” The big surprise wasn’t that Spock had those feelings towards Chris. It was that he’d said it straight out like that.

“I know you do,” Len said, trying to modulate his anger, at least a little. “I actually put all the pieces together after the accident. Which you have never bothered to confirm.”

“What I did was not any of your concern,” Spock said in a tone that bordered on emotive.

“Oh yes, it was,” Len said, standing and done trying to rein in his temper. “How the fuck can you even say that? I know you moved heaven and earth to put all the pieces into place and then just left it to chance that I’d figure it out for you. Without so much as giving me a God damned heads up.”

Len stopped and took a breath, unclenching his fists. “I did as well as I could have. But I went into it blind. I had no idea that what I was doing had a date-time constraint. I’m still working on the burn therapies because I haven’t found a way to cure or mitigate it completely yet.”

“Exactly. There would have been no hurrying you. So, I left you to it.” Spock put his hands behind his back.

“But you knew. You knew what was coming and didn’t tell me, or the Admiral, for that matter. And he labored under the knowledge of his own death for who knows how long. Can you imagine what that does to a person?” Len asked. It was the stuff of anyone’s worst nightmares.

“I thought that giving him false hope would be worse. That it would be better for him to wake more whole and expecting less than it would be to wake less so and expecting more,” Spock said more softly.

There actually was something to what Spock was saying, Len conceded. “You’ve still got a lot to learn about dealing with humans, Spock –”

“Are you two arguing again?” Jim said as the door slid open. “What am I going to do with you?”

“We are not arguing. We are discussing. Vulcans do not argue,” Spock said, primly, but also amused.

That amusement was what was missing from the rest of this conversation. He and Spock argued all the time, but there was always an undertone of each of them knowing they weren’t quite as serious as they seemed, that they actually held some affection for each other. Clearly, the subject of his relationship with Chris brought out something else altogether from Spock. Len did not have time to figure out what that was right now.

“I could hear you both through the door. What would you call it, Mr. Spock?” But Jim smiled at him.

Spock’s mouth tightened into a straight line, and his eyes narrowed. He looked as irritated as a Vulcan could look without actually looking annoyed. “I was merely pointing out that –”

“You should not be speculating on my relationship with the Admiral,” Len said and looked at Jim. “I think he might have wanted to give me the Vulcan version of the shovel talk.”

Jim laughed. “You’re fighting over the Admiral? I’m sure he’d be amused by that. Especially since I’m pretty sure that neither one of you cares for him in the same way.”

Len let out a sigh. That was true. “I think Spock wants to protect him from me.”

“That would be correct,” Spock said, looking at him without any amusement or much of anything.

That look grated on every last one of Len’s nerves.

“And you can’t,” Jim said. “The Admiral is a grown man, and who he chooses to spend his time with isn’t for any of us to say. That includes someone who might be considered a son.”

Spock actually huffed at Jim. “I will return to the bridge.” And he turned on his heel and left.

*****

After a second more, Jim let out a long sigh. “You shouldn’t engage with him, Bones. He is very protective of the Admiral.”

“I know that. But the Admiral — fuck, I hate calling him that — doesn’t belong to him.” As much as Len liked to tease Chris by calling him Admiral, he didn’t like the idea that they couldn’t be casual with each other in public.

Len sat back down and waved Jim to the chair in front of his desk. “I don’t know how this is even going to work.” Len wasn’t even sure he wanted it to work. But what was between them was compelling.

“For a while, it’s not going to matter,” Jim said as he sat down. “We’ll spend a few months in and around Xahea and maybe do some exploring of the area. But after that, it’s going to be harder. I can feel the connection between you two. Which leads me to another point. You’re going to need to give me as much lead time as possible when you decide to leave the ship.”

Leaving the ship had always been a possibility, even before he met Chris again. “How did you know I’ve been thinking about doing that?”

“It’s always been clear to me that you’ve never gotten to be completely comfortable in space. Every time you do something miraculous and write another paper on it, you get more job offers. I always expected that if the right one came along, you’d take it. Now, it is probably not going to be about a job.” Jim’s expression was pretty neutral.

Len knew he was serious about it, and that having him leave would be hard for Jim personally as well as for the ship. “I would not leave without letting you know well in advance. But this,” Len said, waving his hand around. “This was unplanned. Also, there is another doctor on the ship.”

“One who can’t be CMO because she’s not in Starfleet. She just works for us. Plus, I don’t think she’s interested in it. Which is the real reason?” Jim sighed.

“I know. She’s waiting for her husband’s assignment to end so that they can be in the same place at the same time,” Len said.

“I’m going to start looking around now,” Jim said.

“Don’t you think that might be a little premature?” Len asked. But somewhere inside him, he knew that it wasn’t. Whatever was happening between him and Chris was going to be life-changing.

Jim gave him a look that said he knew that Len was being stupid. “Is it?”

Len didn’t even know what to tell him. “This thing between him and me is completely different from anything else. And I don’t even know what to do with it yet.” Or how to deal with it. Or even if he wanted to deal with it. On the heels of that came the awareness that he was going to have to deal with it.

“You seem really distracted by this,” Jim said after the silence had stretched a little too long. “What are you thinking?”

“That I don’t know what is going to happen. That it’s right and wrong at the same time,” Len said.

“I understand,” Jim said, and stood. “There are more things in Heaven and Earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.”

He knew that quote. “Shakespeare? What do you think this is?”

“I think that the two of you have developed some kind of powerful bond. And given everything that’s happened in the last day, I also think that you two are not going to be able to be apart for very long.”

“Let’s not buy trouble with that,” Len complained. “I know there’s something there, and that we’re going to have to deal with it. But what exactly it is or how it’s going to play out is a mystery.”

“Such is life in space,” Jim said as he left.

And it was past fucking time for him to get the hell out of space. Len needed to find another job. Preferably staying in Starfleet. Maybe on a nice space station with a state-of-the-art hospital that would let him do whatever he wanted for research and surgery.

*****

Chris settled at his desk in his quarters and began working through the information his team had sent the previous day, but he couldn’t concentrate. What happened yesterday was still playing in his mind. And it troubled him. Not that it hadn’t been glorious when he and Len were having sex, but the idea of being out of control without a good reason disturbed him on so many levels. He wasn’t sure what to even do about it, either.

With a sigh, he picked up the next document he needed to read.

“Admiral Pike,” Uhura’s voice came over his comm. “You’ve got a private message coming in from Admiral April.”

“Thanks, Lieutenant,” Chris said, glancing at his watch. It had been a couple of hours since he’d started. “Please put all the privacy protocols in place.”

“Yes, sir,” she said and transferred the call.

Bob April’s face formed on his screen. He looked concerned. “Chris?”

“I was going to call you later this morning,” Chris said, and realized it was already late in the morning. “I assume you read Captain Kirk’s report.”

“Yes. I have to say it shocked the hell out of me,” Bob said. “What is going on?”

Yeah, Chris could tell that by his expression. “I do not have a clue,” Chris said. “Neither does Doctor McCoy nor Head Nurse Chapel.”

“I had no idea you and Doctor McCoy even knew each other.”

They didn’t really know each other. That was part of the problem. “We spent the night before the accident together and then met again yesterday.”

“And then ended up in bed –”

“It’s in the report,” Chris said. “I don’t know how or why it happened like it did. I admit to having thought about him and that night a lot. But that doesn’t explain –”

“No, it doesn’t explain what caused you both to have that reaction,” Bob said.

“No. Both of us are at a loss,” Chris agreed. “I was going to ask Doctor McCoy to look into it.”

“That sounds like a good idea,” Bob said. “Because I haven’t heard of something like this before.”

“No, I haven’t either.”

Bob met his eyes through the screen. “Are you going to be all right to start the negotiations with Xahea?”

“I think so,” Chris said. “I hope so. I’ve gotten some work done today.” He breathed out. “But I am already feeling like I will need to see him soon. That said, it doesn’t feel the same as it did yesterday. It might be just to see him.” Or maybe to touch Len, or kiss him, but it wasn’t a sexual imperative he’d felt after seeing Len again.

“I’m assuming you didn’t get anything done yesterday,” Bob guessed.

Chris shook his head. “No. I didn’t even think about it — which, as you might guess, is very disconcerting.”

“It sounds like you’ve created a bond somehow,” Bob suggested. “Or more likely, one is trying to form between you.”

“Bonds like this don’t really exist, well, except in literature.”

“The idea has to come from somewhere,” Bob pointed out. “I am not sure they exist on Earth, but various kinds of bonds exist, and with humans from other worlds.”

That was true. Most humans in the galaxy could trace their heritage back to Earth, but many had left a few hundred years ago and had time to evolve elsewhere. “Still, Dr. McCoy and I are humans from Earth. How would we have been exposed to this? It doesn’t make sense.”

“I’m not sure you knew this, but I have a bond with Sarah,” Bob said. “Although when she and I met, it wasn’t explosive like what you described. We were also younger than the two of you.”

Chris hadn’t known that about them, but it didn’t surprise him, either. There had been something between Bob and Sarah that was almost tangible. “Aren’t you both from Earth?”

“I am,” Bob said. “Sarah was raised on one of the first colonies — Proxima Colony. They don’t admit to having bonds, but many of their people are bonded. We met at the Academy, and I knew immediately that she was the one for me.”

“I haven’t discussed it with Doctor McCoy yet, but I feel the same way about him.” He knew it already. Although he didn’t understand why yet, he hoped that the answer would come sooner rather than later. Because this whole thing was increasingly frustrating.

“Given everything that’s happened between you already, you need to have a long talk with him about it,” Bob said with a look that said that Chris should already know that.

He did, of course. “Yeah, that’s a great idea,” Chris said with a laugh. “I’ll put it on my list of things to do.”

Bob laughed, too. “Do that. Something else to consider is that you’ll probably need to formalize the bond, probably sooner rather than later.”

“How do you know that?” Chris asked. “I just met him.”

“Yes, but you also just said he’s the one. So, you’ll need to do something to accept the bond, and he will too.”

“What happens if we don’t accept it or don’t accept it right this second. I am very busy right now, what with the coming negotiations and all.” Chris didn’t have time for this and to deal with Xahea, too.

“We can probably ask for a postponement of the start of the negotiations.”

“I don’t want to do that. We’ve already put months of work into this, and there’s no reason to delay it. Doctor McCoy and I will figure it out.” When they both had some time. Which wasn’t right now.

Bob gave him a doubtful look. “All right, Chris. You should probably go have that conversation with Doctor McCoy, right now.”

As much as he didn’t have the time for that, he knew it was a good idea. He also wanted to see Len. “You might be right on that.”

“I can guarantee that I am,” Bob said, nodding. “If you need anything, let me know.”

“Thanks, Bob,” Chris said. “Pike out.”

*****

Chapter Four

Sick Bay

An Hour Later

 

Len looked up and stood as Chris entered his office. He had called and said they needed to talk, and Len had agreed with that, at least in theory. “Admiral?” Len said.

“We need to talk,” Chris said with a sigh.

“So, you said.” Len waved him to a seat and was glad that the desk was between them. He didn’t trust himself to keep his hands to himself. Just looking at Chris made Len want to touch him again. At least, it was more controllable today than it was yesterday. Marginally more controllable.

“What can I do for you?” Len asked as Chris sat in front of his desk. “I’m not sure why you wanted to see me.”

“I just spoke to Bob, Admiral April, and he suggested that we needed to talk. I’m not big on this kind of conversation. I am not good at the whole relationship thing.”

“You’ve mentioned that. I’m assuming you want to talk about what is happening between us?” Len guessed. It was probably something they needed to discuss and settle. “I doubt I’m going to be any better at this than you are.”

“Bob said we probably have a bond and that we need to formalize it and accept it.”

Well, Len was not ready to even think about that part yet. He agreed there was probably a bond of some kind. Len folded his arms over his chest and waited. “Go on.”

“I’m done.”

“What are you asking me, or what do you want me to do?” Len asked because he actually wasn’t sure where the question was.

“I don’t know. I know that something is there between us, and apparently, it’s not going to go away.” Chris looked at him, like he was expecting an answer.

Yeah, Len thought that too. But beyond that, he had nothing. “So, what are you suggesting?” He felt like he was having to pry the information out of Chris. Which was annoying.

“I don’t know. How do we accept this? What do we do with it?”

“Do we even want to? I mean, we’ve known each other for less than two days. We don’t know anything about each other at all. Except for this bond or whatever it is between us. And does formalizing the bond mean marriage or what?” While there was a part of Len that liked the idea of marriage, another part was not on board at all.

Chris looked down. “I think so. And to be honest, it well, doesn’t feel wrong to me.”

For a second, Len closed his eyes and concentrated on the bond. Oh, it did feel like they needed to accept it to move on. “Okay. I can feel that, too,” Len reluctantly admitted.

“How is this even possible?” Chris asked, sounding a little plaintive or put upon. Which might have been cute in other circumstances.

“I don’t know how, but the bond needing to be formalized resonates in me as true,” Len said. “Until we know otherwise, I’m going with the idea that it is its goal.”

“Can you look into what information is available on this? Actually, Admiral April also said you should look into it.” Chris looked up at him. “Were you born on Earth?”

“I was,” Len said, wondering where that came from. “In Georgia, just outside Atlanta? You?”

“Mojave Province, in California.” Chris sighed. “So, both of us are from Earth. Where apparently, they do not have bonds. Although some of the Earth colonies do have bonds of various kinds.”

“How do you know that?” Len asked.

“Admiral April told me he and his wife have a bond. She’s from a colony world.”

“So is my mother,” Len said. “She was born on Proxima Colony. Her family was originally from Earth, but the last few generations were from Proxima. She came back to Atlanta to go to school when she was a teenager.”

“Well, that might be part of this,” Chris said. “April’s wife is from Proxima.”

“Where does that leave us, you and me. Because we can’t be in the same room without wanting to fuck, and right now, I’m having a hard time concentrating.” And God, as much as he enjoyed the actual sex, Len resented that it was so intrusive.

“I am as well,” Chris agreed. “As I said, you should look into this. We need to find some answers.”

“I’ll take that under advisement,” Len said, and again Chris looked, what, Len couldn’t identify it, and nothing was coming through from him. Most of the time, Len could tell something about what someone in front of him was feeling or read their face or body language. That included Chris. Right now, it seemed like Chris was locked down in some way. That was interesting. “Is there anything else?”

“No. I just came in to talk to you, which wasn’t as useful as I’d hoped,” Chris said, standing.

“Before you go,” Len said, stepping around the desk.

Chris looked at him and nodded, stepping forward. They leaned in together and kissed each other. Chris’ mouth molded to his, and his tongue slid in, briefly, touching Len’s and retreating. A deep need rose in Len, and he wanted to put Chris on the floor and crawl on top of him, but he also had too much work to do for that. He sighed and stepped back. All their problems seemed to smooth out, feeling less tense after the kiss. That made no fucking sense to him at all.

*****

Chris left the office feeling uneasy and unsatisfied with the conversation, but the kiss had made it seem better somehow. That was ridiculous, of course, but it was also the truth. During the conversation, Len had not been actively hostile, but it was also apparent that he hadn’t seemed all that interested in working on the problem. He seemed — Chris didn’t know — distracted maybe.

As he came into the main part of the sickbay, Christine was working on the main screen.

“Christine,” Chris said. “Thank you again for last night.”

“You’re welcome, Chris,” she replied, looking up from whatever she was doing with her padd.

“So, I need to ask this, and really I should have last night, but I wasn’t thinking about it,” she started, taking a breath. “Was everything that happened yesterday between you and Doctor McCoy consensual?”

He shouldn’t be surprised by the question, but he was. There was no avoiding answering it, either. “Yes. Of course. And we’ll file the consent forms today. Well, I’ve filled out my half and sent it to Len so he can finish it. Then, we can forward it to Admiral April. He’s expecting it.”

Christine nodded. “What brings you in this morning? Are you feeling all right?”

“Yes, fine, thanks,” Chris said. “I just wanted to have a conversation with Len about what’s going on. He seemed pretty busy.”

“He’s always working on something. I am not always sure what.”

“I’m assuming he is a very good doctor,” Chris guessed.

“Oh, he is more than just a good doctor,” Christine said with a laugh. “You don’t get any better than he is.”

Her reverence was a surprise. “You seem very impressed with him.”

“I am. He’s that good. Joseph is as good a surgeon as I have ever worked with, and during the war, he saved many lives with that skill. But Len is in a different league altogether. Some have said that he’s a once-in-a-generation brilliant doctor.”

“I hadn’t realized that,” Chris said stupidly. “But I’ve only known him for a couple of days.”

“Yeah, he said something about that this morning. It makes what happened yesterday all the more surprising.”

“As far as I can tell, it’s not like either one of us,” Chris said. “Other than it being some kind of bond, I don’t think either of us has any idea about what’s going on with it. There seemed to be a compulsion aspect to it. Though I didn’t ever feel unwilling, and I don’t think Len did either.”

Christine nodded and then cleared her throat. “It may have been forward of me, but after last night’s exam, I looked around in the medical database to see if I could find anything that might explain this. And there wasn’t anything that remotely sounded like what you went through yesterday. Even the recorded cases of sex-pollen type incidents didn’t last as long as it did with you both. For those, usually the sex is only one time.”

“You know, for all the jokes about it, there aren’t that many actual documented incidents,” Chris said with a laugh.

“I saw that.” Christine smiled at him. “There are bonds with other species. But most humans from Earth don’t have bonds.”

“I had always heard that. But what about other human colonies? There are several very old ones –”

“Most probably wouldn’t admit to it,” Christine said. “I’m from Alpha III, and there are bonds that no one really talks about. It’s probably from the fear of being experimented on. Which was a problem a hundred years ago on the colony.”

“That’s horrifying. What were they looking for?”

“As I understand it, it was about how we were different than humans from Earth.”

“That seems harmless enough,” Chris said. There was probably more to it than that.

“Yeah. It was when the differences started to show up that the problems started. No one volunteered to give data, and unless they had a reason, they weren’t going to experiment on the whole colony without permission. There were laws in place that protected people.”

“So, it was never discovered?”

“I think a lot of things were like that,” Christine said. “I can get you whatever information I can find on it, but I’m pretty sure there’s not much out there.” Christine sighed. “Truthfully, I think there are bonds everywhere, and no one talks about it, unless they have to.”

That resonated as true with Chris. He’d known people who seemed to find the perfect partner. But he’d always thought that was more to do with the people than anything pulling them together. Maybe there was more to it than that.

“Thanks. Any information would be great,” Chris said. “But right now, I need to get back to work.”

*****

Later That Night

The door chimed, and Chris said, “Come.”

Len appeared in the doorway. Even though he’d seen Len in the late morning and had a quick kiss, he had found it harder to concentrate as the day went on. Just seeing him now was enough to relax Chris, at least a little bit.

“After I saw you, three of the crew came down with Regalian flu,” Len said, sounding exhausted. “It always takes some time to get them diagnosed and settled, then regulating the mitigation meds that help with the symptoms.”

Without thinking too hard about it, Chris held out his hand, and Len walked across the room to take it. He put his arms around Len and just held him for a moment. “Did you eat yet?”

“No. No time,” Len said. And sighed, pressing his face into Chris’ hair. “Did you get what you needed to accomplish done?”

For all the tension between them, it was clear there was also a lot of rapport as well. And right now, he could tell that Len needed that closeness they had when they were in bed together. Whatever else might happen, maybe they both needed it.

“What are you thinking?” Len asked, kissing him lightly again and then more deeply.

That slow simmering desire that never seemed to leave him completely started to ratchet up a notch. But that wasn’t what they needed now. “Why don’t you get cleaned up, and I’ll get you something to eat,” Chris suggested. “What would you like?”

“That wasn’t what I expected you to say. But yeah, that would be great.” Len sighed again and then let go of Chris. “The replicator does a pretty fair imitation of a cheeseburger and fries.”

“With habanero sauce?” Chris asked, smiling, thinking of Una.

“What?” Len laughed. “You know, that doesn’t sound bad. I like spicy food.”

“God,” Chris said. “I was joking. Back in the day, my First Officer put it on everything like ketchup.”

“Do I know your XO?” Len asked.

“Probably not. Una Chin-Riley.”

“Her reputation precedes her, but I did meet her once, very briefly. I think Jim knows her.” Len’s brow creased. “I want to say he tried to get her to stay on the ship, but she had other plans. She got a command of her own, if I remember correctly.”

“She did,” Chris said and took a deep breath. He was bad about talking, especially about relationship things. But he probably needed to say this upfront. “I think I told you this morning that I’m going to be terrible at this.”

“Which?” Len said, sounding like he wasn’t following.

“This relationship,” Chris said.

“Just how terrible can you be?” Len asked, his lips twitching.

“Pretty damned terrible. Honestly, if there’s a wrong thing to say, I’ll say it, usually at the worst possible time.” Chris paused. “I feel like I needed to say that, and I’m not sure why. I think that we still need to talk.”

“This morning’s talk was,” Len stopped, and sighed. “It was unproductive. I don’t feel like we actually said anything to each other that meant anything.”

“I agree. I came in to tell you what I told Bob April.” Chris glanced at him. “I don’t know what is happening with me and you, but I think you’re going to be…” He took a breath. This was harder to say than he thought it would be. “I think you might be it for me.”

“I think that’s true for me, too. I don’t understand how I know this, but I know there’s something between us that is unlike anything I’ve ever felt before.” Len snorted. “And it’s not just all the great sex, either.”

That felt like the truth. Chris knew there was something there. Something that he, they needed to understand better than they did. “Maybe that was why I had so much trouble in the past. Why I couldn’t completely commit to anyone. Even when I did want to. Maybe it needed to be you.”

“Are you thinking of someone specific?” Len asked.

“I had a serious relationship with another starship captain. She and I were well-suited. We both understood the requirements of being a captain. She was smart, compassionate, and honorable. But…” Chris paused again and sighed. “There turned out to be a lot of other factors that made it impossible to continue.” Even years later, it still hurt to think about Marie.

“Maybe she just wasn’t the right person for you,” Len suggested.

He’d given Len the wrong impression, but he wasn’t sure he wanted to talk about what happened. But even as he thought it, he felt that he should tell him. “It was more than that.”

Len tilted his head. “You can’t tell me?”

“It’s not classified, but I find it nearly impossible to talk about.” That he wanted to tell Len at all surprised him. He’d never wanted to talk about it with anyone, even Una, who had been there. “Her name was Marie Batel –”

“I’ve heard that name,” Len said and closed his eyes for a moment. “She disappeared right before she was supposed to become the Judge Advocate General for Starfleet.

“That was when he was still the first officer on the Farragut,” Chris remembered. “Because of Marie’s unique make-up — her DNA had been changed by a series of events — she became the Beholder, a sentry who stood guard over the evil imprisoned on Vadia IX for eternity.” Chris looked at him.

“As she was transforming into that, she gave me a memory of what our lives could have been like together, including the daughter we would never have, and without the accident happening at all. All the ins and outs of everyday life full of love and warmth.” Chris took a breath. “I still remember it, almost as if it actually happened, but it has also been enough years that it has faded the way memories of a loved one who had passed on do.”

Len was silent for a moment. “Do you still find it painful to live with?”

For a minute, Chris thought about it. “Not as much as I did when it happened. But it’s been years now, and I miss her, and what might have been but wasn’t. Do you know what I mean?”

“I think so,” Len said. “Did you ever talk to anyone about it? I mean, a professional who would help you work through that kind of grief?”

Chris laughed sadly. “No. I’m not good with that kind of thing. I barely spoke to the therapist that they assigned to me after the accident. I couldn’t connect with any of them.”

“Them?” He glanced at Chris. “How many were there?”

“About four,” Chris said, happy to be off the subject of Marie. “I think. I just talked around it as much as possible, and they finally let me go back to work.”

“I don’t know you that well,” Len said with a laugh. “But that doesn’t surprise me at all.”

Chris just sighed. “I’m sure that’s true. Going back to relationships, have you ever been married or in a long-term relationship?”

“I have an ex-wife, Jocelyn Treadway. No long-term, but a few very short-term relationships beyond that. Have you been married?” Len asked.

Chris shook his head. “Marie’s gift was the closest I’ve come to marriage. Until I mentioned formalizing this bond, I had never even considered marrying anyone else.”

“But you’re considering that now, aren’t you?” Len raised an eyebrow at him. “Because I am, and I swore I’d never get married again after the hell-beast that was my ex-wife.”

“Yes,” Chris admitted. “I have been thinking about it and wondering how the fuck that could even be possible. Despite our problem with the bond and the idea of formalizing it, I’m pretty sure that’s going to be on our agenda.”

“I think so, too. Probably sooner rather than later,” Len said. “I’m — if not completely okay with it — surprisingly not as hostile as I thought I would be.”

“I agree with that for myself as well. I am still deeply concerned about the whole thing in general, but in specific, right now, with you, I’m a lot less concerned.” Chris sighed. “Which might be the bond, or it might be that we’re actually pretty compatible.”

“Both. I am not sure we’re going to get a choice about this,” Len said.

“I have a problem with that.”

“I don’t think your problem with it — or mine for that matter — is going to matter. We’re going to have to make it work.”

Yeah, Chris could tell that was true. And while he didn’t like it, “I do like you,” Chris said. “I would date you.”

Len snorted. “And have a terrible relationship with me?”

“Maybe it wouldn’t be as terrible as it usually is,” Chris said with a smile. “You should go and clean up and let me get you some dinner.”

Len tilted his head. “You’re a caretaker, aren’t you?”

That was a good assessment of him. “Possibly. I was a starship captain. I had to take care of my crew.”

“And very well, from all I’ve heard. Most of your old crew would still follow you straight into Hell without a question or pause.”

That was nice to hear. “Go get cleaned up,” Chris said.

Len went into the bathroom, and Chris ordered the cheeseburger with the hot sauce. A few minutes later, Len came out wearing sweatpants and a T-shirt. He dumped the hot sauce on his burger and ate it.

After he’d finished, he looked up at Chris. “Thanks. I needed that.”

“I like to take care of my people,” Chris said. As much as he knew Len probably didn’t want to talk about it, he needed to hear the rest of that story with Jocelyn. “So, will you tell me what happened with you and Jocelyn?”

For a second, Len looked like he wasn’t going to answer, but then he took a deep breath. “I would ask why you want to know, but really, I know why.” He sighed again. “I married her right out of college, and our marriage started to fall apart while I was in medical school. By the time I was in my residency, it was done. But she got pregnant in there, and I stayed with Jocelyn for a few more years, but she did not make it easy on me. I have an eighteen-year-old daughter, Joanna. I love her so much, but I have seen very little of her in recent years. I saw her more when she was small. And then about once a month, while I was at the Academy. But now, it’s all subspace relays and exchanging written or vid comms.”

Now, that was a surprise. “That’s not in your file,” Chris said.

“Well, since Jocelyn was an ex before I got to Starfleet, I can see why it wouldn’t be,” Len said. “But why did you pull my file?”

“I did it when I was trying to figure out what was going on after the accident. I found out that my rescue was carefully planned, right down to the Enterprise being recalled and you being there to do the radiation mitigation procedures that saved my life.” Chris had been taken aback by the whole thing. Though aside from the secrecy of it, which he admitted might have been necessary, he was grateful beyond words.

“You can add to that that I saw Spock leaving Kelso’s that night. He told me not to drink anything because I would have to perform those procedures the next day,” Len said.

“I remember thinking it odd that you were in a bar, and you ordered a Coke with your dinner,” Chris said. “Though at the time, I was kind of distracted. But I did think about it later. How did you end up there that night?”

“I was hungry, and I wanted a real cheeseburger, and I always liked Kelso’s food. I used to go there all the time when I was a cadet. That’s how Feya knew me.” Len cleared his throat and looked at him. “I’ve wondered how you and Spock knew what would happen to you that many years before it did.”

Chris wasn’t sure what he should say about it. Obviously, the question could not go unanswered. “There’s a whole lot of classified information associated with the how and why. But I needed a time crystal. I went to the Klingon world of Boreth to get one.

“That was how I found out about the accident. I touched the crystal and saw and felt it happen.” Chris shivered, closing his eyes for a moment. “I was told that I could walk away and possibly change my fate. But if I took the crystal, then my fate would be sealed, unchangeable. I needed the crystal bad enough to seal my own fate by taking it.”

Len’s eyes widened, and his mouth dropped open a little. “I’m afraid to ask why you needed it.”

“It’s classified, but suffice it to say that all sentient life in the galaxy would have been destroyed if I didn’t have it,” Chris said.

“Well, fuck. I guess you fixed whatever it was.”

“Yes. And that’s all I can say about it,” Chris said. He hadn’t thought about the whole debacle of Section 31 and the loss of the Discovery in a long time.

“I’m not going to ask, either,” Len said and yawned. “But back to Spock, he got your mom to fund my research. You told him about it?”

“Yes. I told some of the people closest to me,” Chris said. He hadn’t told his family. It seemed unfair to burden them with something like that. Now, looking back on it, he wondered if he’d made the right decision. But he was sure he was going to die there, and he didn’t want to inflict that knowledge on his family before he had to.

And Len leaned forward a bit, like he was thinking about something. “There’s more, isn’t there? You couldn’t get out of it.”

“I wonder how you know that?” Chris could not imagine how he was pulling this together without knowing all the details.

“The night we met, you said you had to do it,” Len said. “And I’m assuming you would have looked into ways to not have to. Despite what the monks might have told me, I would have.”

“I did, too,” Chris said. “I found that I could change my fate only if I was willing to sacrifice someone else to it. And I was not willing to do that.”

“How did you know that? Who told you that?” Len asked. It was clear he was having trouble with this. And Chris wanted to explain as much as he could without violating his oaths.

“I told myself.” Chris wanted to laugh at the look on Len’s face. “About a year after I found out, I met one of the cadets on an outpost. He was still a child. But he was one of the ones who would die. I started to write a letter to him to tell him not to be there that day. And as I was trying to work out what to say,” Chris paused.

“I looked up and saw,” Chris stopped again and cleared his throat. “Do you trust that I’m going to tell you the truth as I know it?”

Len looked shocked by the question. “Yes. I know you’ll tell me the truth.”

“I saw my future self, wearing an Admiral’s uniform. After he verified that he was indeed me, he told me that I would find the words, but that the results would be catastrophic. World-ending, I think, is what he said. He had another time crystal and told me to touch it.”

Chris took a shuddering breath and then another. The memory of the encounter with the Romulans was still vivid, even after all the years that had passed. And the sight of Spock nearly dead, lying in that biobed, still had the power to crush him. He just tried to breathe around the image.

Len put his hand on Chris’ arm, and that steadied him.

“Suffice it to say,” Chris continued after taking a deep breath. “It showed me what would happen if I wrote the letter, and also that if I didn’t meet my fate, someone else would in my place. My future self also said that the person would be needed in the future to negotiate the beginnings of a peace between two peoples. Beyond that, I would not willingly trade anyone’s life for my own, but especially not his.”

“I’m going to guess that the person was Spock. And that he knew that you were going to sacrifice your life for his.”

“I’m not even going to ask how you knew that,” Chris said.

“That was an easy deduction, really. Spock is incredibly devoted to you. He literally moved heaven and earth to make sure you survived what was coming. He made sure I had the resources to continue my research. I would never have gotten as far as I did as fast without that grant.”

“I’ve never talked to my mother about what she did or why she did it,” Chris said. There were too many things he’d never talked about with his family. He just hadn’t wanted to burden them with the knowledge. Maybe it wasn’t just them that he was trying to protect.

“Come on, Chris. The why is easy. She knew something was going to happen to you, and she did all she could to mitigate it. And you should talk to her about that. I doubt she’d deny it. You know that I’ve met with her several times over the last eight or nine years.”

He did know that Len had to have met his mom. “But she’s never mentioned anything to me, even after the accident.” Chris had thought it possible that she hadn’t really known exactly what was going to happen. Maybe he should have said something.

“You should talk to her,” Len said. “I’m sure she took care of you after it.”

“Oh, she and my whole family were there for me throughout my whole recovery. She wanted me to stay with her and my dad when I got out of the hospital and went into rehab. But truthfully, I wanted more independence than I thought she’d let me have. I stayed with Phil Boyce and his wife for three months. And he barely let me leave when I was ready to go. I’m sure my mom would have been so much worse.”

“She is a take-charge kind of woman,” Len said. “And I admire her a lot. On the other hand, I can see where you would have a problem with that.”

“Don’t get me wrong. I love her and my dad dearly. But –”

“She’s the momma, and you’re the child. And it doesn’t matter that you’re forty-seven and an admiral in Starfleet.” Len was trying to lighten the mood.

And Chris appreciated it a lot. He laughed. “Oh, you got that right.”

“I got a strong-willed momma, myself,” Len said. “You should talk to your mom about it.”

“I know I should. But not today. I don’t have much left myself after this conversation,” Chris said. “Anything else?”

“Are you up for one more question?” Len sounded hesitant but still curious.

It was probably better to get it all out on the table in one go. “I can deal with one more.”

Len looked down for a second and then back at him. There was more than a trace of worry in his expression. “Given everything you’ve said. How do you know that Spock actually saved you both?”

“Before I woke up after the accident, I dreamed I was back in my quarters on the Enterprise with my future self. He told me that I had met my fate, and my future was now unwritten and unknown to him,” Chris said.

Then, he continued, “I asked him what would happen to Spock. Would he still take my place if I survived? I told him that I still wasn’t going to trade his life for mine. He said that because I’d met my fate and would survive better than it was originally intended due to Spock’s intervention, it did change things for him. But for the better. He will become what he needs to be sooner and with less struggle. And in theory, he would help more people sooner as well.”

“I hope that’s true. About Spock, I mean. I think he struggles with his mixed heritage.”

“I know he does,” Chris said. “But now, I think it’s time to get into bed and go to sleep.”

“You missed a step,” Len said, kissing him. “The part where we have sex again.”

Between yesterday’s indulgences and the previous conversation, Chris was more than a little dubious about that part. That didn’t mean he didn’t want it as soon as Len mentioned it — he did.

Chris led him back to the bedroom and lay down with him. “Go to sleep,” Chris ordered.

Len rolled over and slid his arms around Chris. “As tired as I am, I still want you so badly.”

“I know,” Chris leaned in and kissed him. “Maybe something soft and slow?”

“You don’t have to ask me twice,” Len said, pushing off his own sweatpants and pulling the t-shirt over his head, then he reached for Chris, removing his clothes as well.

Chris rolled on top of him and pressed into Len slowly, his arms tightening. Len’s hands were on his back, and as Chris pressed down, he pressed up. The friction was delicious, sending shards of pleasure through him each time they moved, and much more arousing than Chris would have expected from something so simple. As they moved together, he kissed Len again, slowly, deeply. It didn’t take long before their movements became erratic, and they were racing towards the finish. Which came hard and fast and left him panting.

“Wow, that was amazing,” Len said, sounding out of breath. He kissed Chris quickly. “I was tired before, and now, I’m wiped flat.”

“Go to sleep,” Chris said again. He was still a little out of breath, too. That had been just what he’d needed, what they’d needed. Whatever was between them felt, well, settled for the moment.

“I would make a comment about you being bossy, but I’m too tired to argue,” Len mumbled, clearly on the verge of sleep.

Chris kissed him softly and sat up. “I’ve still got some reading to do. Will the light bother you? I can go into the other room?” Though getting out of bed at this point was not his first choice.

“I’m a doctor. I can literally sleep standing up at a rock concert. Nothing bothers me.” Len rolled against him and shut his eyes. A few minutes later, his breathing evened out.

Chris smiled at him. Then he picked up his padd from the bedside table.

*****

Chapter Five

Day 3

They reached Xahea by morning. According to Chris’ itinerary, he and his team would beam down to the palace in the early afternoon for introductions with the Xahean team. That included the Enterprise’s Captain, First Officer, and CMO, and there would be a reception later that night.

The main audience room of the palace in Xahea was stunning, with high ceilings and marble floors. At the end of the long room sat an elaborately carved wooden throne, but as far as Chris had ever seen, Po never used it. The walls were lined with detailed woven tapestries of what Chris could only assume were Xahean historical stories. Beautifully crafted benches lined the walls on either side of the room.

There were groups of people standing in small clusters, and like Chris and the rest of his team, as well as the Enterprise personnel, everyone was dressed in formal clothes. No doubt all were waiting for the introductions to start, just as he was.

Chris recognized a few of the older generation as the queen’s advisors. There were some younger faces there as well. Xahea also had a prime minister and an elected governing parliament, although it worked differently from Earth or other democracies. Po had a lot of power and more influence. But the people also had a say in how things were run.

Po and Erica were standing near the beam down site. And they both moved forward with a small child, maybe three or four, holding Erica’s hand.

“Admiral Pike,” Po said, running a hand across the top of her chest — their formal greeting salute — before she reached out to hug him. “It is so good to see you again.”

As he pulled back, Chris returned the gesture. “And you as well, your serene highness –”

“Po,” she said.

“Then, you should call me Chris, too. Like I’ve asked, I don’t know how many times.”

“I was too young, then,” she said.

“You are plenty old enough now,” Chris said, smiling at her. They had had this discussion before.

Po huffed and then smiled, too. “Fine. Chris. It’s good to see you looking so well.”

“I know Xahea contributed to the knowledge that Doctor McCoy used to save me.” He glanced behind him where Captain Kirk, Spock, and Len were waiting to be introduced. Len tugged on his collar. And Chris had to fight not to smile at that.

“We were glad to help. His knowledge and new procedures will benefit us all. Our doctors have already incorporated the protocols and techniques he developed with his research. I’m looking forward to meeting him shortly,” Po said.

Erica stepped up. “Are you going to let me say hi to my former captain?” she asked Po, smiling too.

He opened his arms, and she hugged him tightly.

“It is so good to see you, Chris. Upright and walking. I was so worried,” she said, releasing him.

“I know. I am glad to see you, too, Erica. Or should I say princess consort?” Chris asked, tipping his head and smiling at her.

“You, of all people, know how funny that really is. Six years and I’m still horrified by it. But if it hadn’t happened, then we wouldn’t have this little one.”

“She’s adorable. Looks like both of you,” Chris said, wondering how they’d manage that. He looked down and smiled at the little girl. “Good to meet you, Princess Iolani,” he said.

She smiled up at him with big, dark eyes that reminded Chris of Erica. “Hi. Not a princess till I get older. Just Lani now.”

Erica picked her up. “I promised you could meet the Admiral, and now, it’s time for your lunch and then a nap.” She handed Iolani to a young man. “Thanks, Kai,” she said.

“He’s her nurse,” Po said. “We should get on with the introductions. There are a lot of them. Let me start with our Prime Minister and the representative of the governing parliament. Later this evening, there will be a reception with dinner and dancing.”

“I’m looking forward to it,” Chris said. Maybe he’d get a chance to dance with Len again.

Po went through the six people standing there. And Chris committed their names and titles to memory.

“Now let me introduce the Enterprise senior officers and my staff,” Chris said, “Captain James T. Kirk of the Starship Enterprise, I know you’ve both met Mr. Spock, the Enterprise’s first officer, and the Chief Medical Officer, Doctor Leonard McCoy.”

Both Erica and Po gave the Vulcan greeting after the Xahean one.

“Doctor McCoy, I’m very pleased to meet you,” Po said. “I would like to talk to you about your research when you have some time.”

“I would be honored to go over it with you. It’s still not complete. Anything you could add would be of great value to me.”

“And my staff,” Chris finally said. “You know Commander Swender-Vance from the prep work he did with your security team, and Commanders James and Patel are my negotiations staff, and this is my Yeoman, Zara Holliway.”

And Kirk made a slight face again when he’d introduced Derek. Chris still wondered what was going on with that and hadn’t had a chance to ask Derek about it, yet.

That was a worry for another day.

*****

Later that evening, the reception was in full swing, and Chris still hadn’t had a chance to find Len for a dance. He was still talking with Po and two others whom Chris hadn’t been introduced to yet.

“You look like you could use a drink,” Erica said as she handed him a cup of the punch. It was alcoholic in some manner or other, so he hadn’t had much of it.

“Thank you. How are you doing?” Chris asked, eyeing what she was wearing. “That’s not traditional formal attire, is it?”

“Not exactly.” Erica snorted. “I had the tailors make me something I could stand wearing. I’ve never been a gown sort of person. Especially not in pastels or white, which were my color options.

Chris knew better than to comment on that. “So, this looks like something between the uniform the guards and army wear, and something that a gentleman of the eighteenth century on Earth would have worn.”

“Very good,” Erica said. “I had them take the two and fuse them. I could probably get away with wearing the guard captain uniform, but I’m not in either service. And it didn’t feel right to wear it. The frock coat is long enough to pass for a dress when it’s buttoned.”

“It’s a good look for you.”

“This, as with all other things, is all about what you can live with,” Erica said. That sounded like she’d had to compromise a lot.

“Has it been that hard?” Chris asked.

“I came into a completely different culture and didn’t know the rules. It was an adjustment. But having Po has made it worth it. And she doesn’t care if I’m a hellion.” Erica laughed. “But unfortunately, others do. And if nothing else, my years in Starfleet taught me how to adapt.”

“It does do that.”

“How are you doing, Chris, really?” She looked concerned. “When we heard about the accident, Po and I feared the worst. We were so relieved when we heard you’d survived. And thrilled when you got in touch.”

“I’m good. Better than I had any right to think I’d be. In less than two years, I’m standing here ready to help Xahea join the Federation. Truthfully, I’ll never be what I was before the accident, but given what it could have been, I’m damned grateful for where I am.”

“I get that,” Erica said and then looked at him with her eyebrow raised. “So, I’m going to be nosey and ask what is going on with you and Doctor McCoy?”

“How did you even hear about that?” Chris was too fucking old to blush.

She laughed. “You do know that most of the Enterprise crew were invited tonight. Some of whom I’m still friends with. Some of whom might have sent me a note or two about it.”

“Christine?” Chris guessed.

“Nyota and Jenna Mitchell as well.”

Chris didn’t want to address any of it. “It’s too soon to say.”

“Both Nyota and Jenna told me that you and Doctor McCoy left together the other night, and that was after you’d spent the day together.” Erica looked at him with those big brown eyes she had, and her lips twitching. “Are you saying that isn’t true?”

“No. That’s true. And it was just what it looked like. But I don’t know where it’s going.” Chris was lying, but it was too private and too huge to talk about, yet. He wasn’t ready to admit to anyone else — even Erica, whom he’d always respected and genuinely liked — that he knew exactly where it was going.

“Is there another reason?” Erica asked, and her tone was much more careful. As if she were treading lightly. “I mean, it’s been a long time.”

Marie. Again. “No. Not like that. It’s been almost seven years.” He looked at her. “What are you trying to ask me?”

“Just that you were pretty broken up about what happened,” Erica said, looking at him. “I left about a year after she became the Beholder, and it still felt like you weren’t over it.”

“I wasn’t. But time does heal — or at least dull — a wound like that,” Chris said. “Why did you bring that up?”

“I knew you were lying when you said you didn’t know what was between you and Doctor McCoy. I can feel the bond on you. I wondered if you were trying to deny it because you are still not over Captain Batel’s, um,” she paused and didn’t finish the sentence. Erica looked down and then back at him. “I’m usually better at this sort of thing. It’s a requirement of my job here. But I’m worried about you.”

“I appreciate that,” Chris choked out and then sighed. “I believe that time and space and going on with my life have given me the perspective I needed to let it go. Truthfully, what’s going on with Doctor McCoy and me is an order of magnitude more intense and completely different than what happened with Marie and me. I can’t explain it better than that.”

He looked at her. “How did you know I was lying?”

“Do you know how Po and I met and ended up together?” she asked.

Which was kind of random, and he wondered where she was going with it. “I don’t know any of the details, no.”

When they had come to Xahea for Po’s coming-of-age ceremony, Po had asked Erica to open the ball with her when they’d met at the introduction’s reception the day before the ball. The morning after the ball, Erica came back to the ship and said that she would be leaving Starfleet when her tour was completed the following year.

“Xaheans have a tradition of kissing someone to see if they’re suited to you,” Erica said. “What they don’t tell you is that it creates a strong connection between compatible people. The more compatible the two people, the deeper the connection. Their traditions say that if you squander it, you won’t find your true love. I thought I’d be perfectly safe. You know my reputation on the ship, and off it when I got the chance. I was all about the experience.” Erica chuckled. “I still have scars from some of those experiences.”

Chris nodded. Most of the younger crew were all like that. Explorers in every sense of the word. He’d been like that when he was young. Aside from himself and possibly Una, Erica explored her way through most of the rest of the crew with anyone else who was willing. “I hear a but coming,” Chris said.

“Right. I thought I was way too experienced for something that sounded so innocent. And Po was just gorgeous. So, I said sure, let’s test this.” Erica glanced at him, her expression chagrined. “Turns out, the joke was on me. It was the most amazing thing I’d ever experienced. But you know, I told Po about me and what I’d been doing. Do you know what she said?”

It was a rhetorical question, of course, but he shook his head anyway.

“She said, I was pure of heart, and that was all that counted. After that, we were bonded. And over time, the bonding also brought out my empathy.” Erica looked at him. “I can feel the bond on you. It feels old. Years old. If you concentrate, you’ll be able to feel it between the two of you. And you should be able to feel the bonds on all the people here who are bonded.”

He concentrated on the bond. It pulsated in his chest when he found Len, and Chris felt Len’s surprise when he became aware of it. This was not what he’d been expecting at all. Chris took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I think I need to sit down.”

She took his arm and led him to a bench. “Are you okay?”

Was he? Probably. The bond was powerful, and she was right. It wasn’t new. “I was not expecting that.”

Before Erica said anything else, Len came over to him, sat down on the bench, and took his hand. “What the hell just happened?” he snapped.

“Apparently, it happened the night we met,” Chris said. But after Len took his hand, he started to relax a little.

Len looked at Erica, his eyes were wide with surprise. “What is this?”

Erica shrugged. “Yeah, so, I just pointed it out to Chris. I could feel it. It’s powerful.”

“I can feel it too,” Len said. “Since I met the Admiral again, I knew there was something between us. I assumed it was a bond of some kind. What is this? When he reached out, I could feel him. All of his emotions.”

“It doesn’t have a name, well beyond calling it a bond. I’ve got one with Po. That’s why I recognized it. It’s something Xaheans seek out, especially among young adults.” Erica smiled slightly. “I think of it as some kind of mythical soul bond –”

“Soul bonds don’t actually exist, though. At least not for most humans,” Len said. “I’ve always thought of it as something made up for fanciful romance novels.”

“Except that it does exist here,” Erica said. “And it is very real.”

Chris closed his eyes and concentrated. Now that he was looking for it, he could feel the bond on Erica, but not her emotions. Which was a relief. “Neither of us are young or innocent. And my early Starfleet experience was similar to yours, Erica.”

She nodded in understanding. “The thing you’re going to want to understand with this is that you’re going to need to formalize it in some way. As soon as you can.”

“What does that even mean?” Len asked, his voice was barely modulated to be polite. “How do we formalize it?”

“Po and I bonded,” she said. “A full formal bonding rite.”

“Like a marriage ceremony?” Chris still wasn’t sure he was ready for that right now. “How soon does this have to take place?”

“When I came back, Po and I bonded right away.” She made a face. “I think it was about a year since I’d met her.”

“Yeah, no,” Len said, shaking his head. “It’s still too soon for that now.” He looked at her. “What happens if we don’t bond soon?”

“I don’t know,” Erica said. “Most people want the bond. I wanted it.”

Chris just looked at him. There was still that part of him that liked the idea of formalizing it. Was that the bond again?

“I think I should leave you both to talk. I’ll see you in the morning for the first session on the treaty.” Erica bowed slightly and left.

He looked at Len. “Are you okay with this?”

Len brought Chris’ hand to his mouth and kissed his palm. “I’m not sure what I am. Do you think we can go back to the ship now?”

“I think that’s a great idea.” He stood, and Len stood with him. For a moment, they just looked at each other. Chris wanted to kiss him, but it would be entirely inappropriate to do it now. With a sigh, he dropped the hand he was still holding and stepped back. “We should go.”

*****

They got back to Chris’ quarters without touching each other, but it only lasted long enough for the door to close behind them. As soon as that happened, Len pushed Chris against the wall and leaned in to kiss him, awash with need. Chris’ tongue pushed into his mouth, and desire flashed through him, hot and deep. He reached for Chris’ uniform jacket, pushing it off his shoulders, dragging the shirt and undershirt over Chris’ head. Chris’ hands reached for his clothes as fast, and in short order, they were both naked.

Len needed more and knelt, taking Chris’ cock into his mouth. Chris made an incoherent sound, pushing into Len’s mouth with a sigh that sounded like relief.

Len slid his hand up the inside of Chris’ leg, his thumb brushing back and forth against his upper thigh. Chris grunted and came. Len loved nothing better than giving a lover pleasure, and it was so much more so with Chris. He could feel Chris’ satisfaction.

When he heard Chris catch his breath, Len stood and embraced him.

“What can I do for you, sweetheart?” Chris asked.

“I’m sure you’ll figure something out. Let’s get into bed,” Len suggested.

They settled into Chris’ bed and kissed slowly, letting the tension build again. Chris rolled on top of him and started kissing down Len’s chest, licking his sternum, his hands firm on Len’s body. Len closed his eyes and gave himself up to the delicious sensation of Chris’ tongue and teeth making their marks on him.

Len’s heart was pounding, and his body tensed a little more with each lick or kiss. He couldn’t hold back a moan as Chris’ chin brushed across his skin. But his plea was ignored as Chris licked down the inside of his thigh and then backed up.

At last, Chris took his cock all the way in his mouth and slid a slick finger into him. His breath caught, and he panted. As a wave of heat and desire pushed him over the edge, Len moaned, whining out his pleasure in a long, low sound as he came hard.

It took a few minutes to get his breath back and to gather Chris closer to him.

“That was fantastic, my darlin’.” Len kissed him softly. “I’m done. I need to sleep.”

“Sleep, then.” Chris kissed him one last time, and Len let sleep take him.

*****

Twenty minutes later, Chris wasn’t falling asleep. He kissed Len’s temple and eased out of bed. There was still work to do, and it was early yet. He put on a hoodie and sweatpants and hung up both of their uniforms. As much as he’d rather not go out again, he needed to talk to Zara about some of the research he’d asked for on Xahea. That was one of the first things they’d be discussing in the morning.

Chris stepped into the corridor and heard Jim say, “Mr. Swender. I’ve finally caught up with you.”

“Yes, sir. I’m sorry about what happened. But –”

“You got a better offer as Admiral Pike’s security? After you accepted the position on the Enterprise?” Jim asked, and his tone said he was annoyed.

“Yes, sir. I volunteered for that,” Derek said. As he always did, Derek looked and sounded resolute.

Jim looked surprised. “Why?”

“No offense, sir, but that isn’t your concern,” Derek said, and his tone was perfectly correct, but it was also assertive.

Jim sighed. “Did he know you had another job offer?”

“No, he didn’t,” Chris said, and they both turned around to see him standing there.

Derek let out a long sigh. “Apologies, sir. I meant to tell you about this sooner –”

“What?” Jim asked.

“Let’s take this out of the corridor.” Chris looked back at his door. “My quarters are occupied.”

“My quarters don’t belong to me,” Derek said in a way that Chris was not going to ask him who they did belong to. Obviously, that wasn’t any of his business.

“My ready room?” Jim suggested.

“I guess so,” Chris said. It was that or take the chance Len might emerge from the bedroom naked because his uniform was hanging in the closet by the door.

They walked there in silence, and then the door closed behind them.

“Commander? Why don’t you tell me what’s going on?” Chris asked.

“It’s just what it looked like. I had accepted a position on the Enterprise. And my wife was going to be a doctor on the ship as well.”

“And instead, you came to Earth to be security for me. Which Robert April insisted on, citing my disability as the issue.” Well, that explained the woman Derek was talking to so intently last night.

“Someone needed to keep you safe while you recovered. It was a two-year assignment.”

“Wait,” Jim asked. “Was there a credible threat?”

“It has never been confirmed,” Chris said. “But when I went back to work, I was still disabled from the accident. Admiral April was concerned enough to require security for me.” And as much as he understood Bob’s worry, it still chafed when he’d been told he would have a chief of security that he hadn’t chosen.

Jim glanced at Derek. “That’s why you didn’t take the position at the last second?”

Derek nodded. “I felt that this was too important to let go. The Admiral’s life might have been in danger, and I knew I could protect him.”

“I appreciate that,” Chris said. “Your wife?”

“She understood. Aside from a couple of shore leaves and this trip, we’ve been apart. It hasn’t been easy.” Derek let out a long sigh. “But she’s Vulcan and understands duty. We felt this was necessary.”

“I appreciate that, Commander,” Chris said.

“If there is nothing else,” Derek said, and then turned to look at Chris. “I’d like to spend some time with my wife.”

“Of course. I’ll see you in the morning,” Chris agreed. “Thank you.”

Chris watched him leave, and he looked at Jim. “It’s public knowledge that the commander’s much younger sister was one of the cadets I saved.”

“Okay, so that makes so much more sense now,” Jim said, as if that settled it for him. “His service record is impeccable. He will keep you safe.”

And he had. “I didn’t know you had another Vulcan aside from Spock on the ship,” Chris said.

Jim smiled. “Yeah. We’ve actually got two more. Sarat is an ensign in engineering, recently graduated from the Academy. And Candice is –”

“Candice? That’s not a traditional Vulcan name.” Chris knew that not all Vulcan clans followed the naming conventions. “I bet there’s a story to that.”

“There is, but it’s not my story to tell. Suffice it to say, she’s a civilian doctor employed by Starfleet Medical. Like Christine,” Jim said, and then was quiet for a moment. “If you don’t mind my asking, I’m curious about what happened with you and Bones at the reception? It looked intense. I can’t think of another time I’ve seen Bones looking that rattled.”

“Erica, the princess consort, pointed out to me how to find the bond we have. It’s very powerful, and when I became aware of Len through it, he felt it too. Did you know about it?”

“I’m sensitive enough to recognize something like that when I feel it. With you and Bones, it radiates off you both when you’re together. And it’s different than most other bonds I’ve run across.” Jim stood and walked over to the credenza by the wall. “Do you want a drink? I was off duty hours ago.”

Chris definitely could use a drink. “Sure. What do you have?”

“Saurian Brandy?” Jim held up the bottle. When Chris nodded, he poured two glasses.

“How is the bond different?”

“It’s so powerful.” Jim handed him the glass of brandy.

“Excellent choice, Jim,” Chris said. The bond was powerful, and it felt like it would control everything in his life, if he let it. Chris had no idea how he was going to deal with it. But it was with Len, and something told him that would make it okay. That might be the bond, too.

Jim sat back down and took a sip of the brandy, then sighed in pleasure.

Chris took a sip too, and it was delicious. “Good. Thanks.”

“You seem troubled by this,” Jim said, leaning back in his chair. “Are you all right?”

“I don’t know what I am,” Chris said honestly. “Or how this can possibly work out. We have this bond, and Erica likened it to a soul bond. Which doesn’t actually exist.”

“They don’t exist on Earth. You’ve traveled the galaxy enough to know that they could very well exist somewhere else, and it might be here,” Jim suggested.

And he was right. “Maybe so, but it seems so –”

“Unlikely that you would be the one who found something like this?” Jim suggested.

“Exactly. Although it seems like most Xaheans are either looking for it or have found it.”

“That sounds like a place to start,” Jim said.

“It’s a good thought. I’ll have another conversation with Erica tomorrow.” Chris needed more information about exactly what was going on between them. He looked at Jim. “Thank you.”

“That’s my job,” Jim said, smiling. “A captain’s job is never done.”

Chris took another sip. “I remember that. Truthfully, I would rather still be a captain, though I’m not sure what I would have done about Len.”

“You could probably get away with it with a doctor. They have their own command structure. And even though the CMO reports to you, it’s still a side reporting thing,” Jim said. “You could always have had him report to your first officer.”

Len reporting to Una. Now that would have been an interesting combination, as in gasoline and a match. He could not imagine the damage when they got done with each other. Or they might have gotten along famously. He couldn’t even begin to speculate. “I always prided myself on never touching anyone on my ship who was under my command.”

Jim grinned widely. “Not even Una Chin-Riley? Because wow, she is still amazingly hot.”

Especially not Number One, Chris thought. “I thought your tastes ran towards La’an?”

“We did date, but you know, neither of us could make a commitment,” Jim said. “And I’ve always thought it was a bad idea to get involved with someone under my command, so that makes it all the harder. I hope I can keep it that way.” Jim sighed, looking, Chris wasn’t sure, but something. Maybe sad.

“Is there someone with whom that would be hard for you?” Chris asked.

Jim was quiet for a moment and then shook his head. “Isn’t there always. I know they aren’t interested. Which is good because I would be tempted. Other than that, I’ve had at least one person transfer off the ship because I wouldn’t continue our casual relationship once I became captain.”

Chris wondered who put that look on Jim’s face. Because Chris suspected he would be more than just tempted. “It’s hard when you’re out here, and there’s a limited number of people who even understand. And as captain, you have very few choices for companionship.”

“It is, but it’s the job we signed up for,” Jim said, standing to pour another drink and bringing back the bottle.

Chris accepted a second one, but that was the limit. “I have the negotiations in the morning.”

They sipped their drinks in silence for a few minutes. It was getting late, and he still needed to see Zara. He picked up his comm and sent her a message. Chris stood. “I still need to get some work done tonight.”

Jim stood as well and looked at him. “Take care of Bones for me, okay? I know he’s going to leave the ship when we take you back to Earth.”

“We haven’t discussed that yet.” And Chris hadn’t even thought about that implication. Since he couldn’t stay on the ship past when he finished with Xahea, it was entirely likely that Len would have to leave the ship. “Is there something I can do to help with that?” Chris asked.

“You know, if Candice were in Starfleet, I wouldn’t have as big a problem as I do. She’s a good doctor and well-liked by the crew. So, I’m going to need a replacement for Bones, who is at least somewhat as good.”

Chris smiled. “I might actually be able to help you with that. I might know someone.”

“That would be excellent, Chris. Thanks.” Jim looked a little relieved.

“Let me comm him and see what he has to say,” Chris said. He was pretty sure Joseph would jump at the chance to get back into space, especially back on the Enterprise.

*****

Chris slid into bed, and Len rolled over and snuggled next to him. “Where ya’been?”

“Working. Having a drink with Jim. Sending a few comms.”

“Jim, hmmm,” Len said, sounding amused.

“You should go back to sleep. I’m sorry I woke you,” Chris said, kissing his head.

“Now that I’m up. I’m up.” Len snickered a little.

“Didn’t we do this earlier? And your dress uniform is hanging in my coat closet. Good thing you need to wear it tomorrow, or you’ll be making the walk of shame.” Chris laughed at that.

“Me making the walk of shame isn’t very shameful, if I don’t care. And I don’t. I’m proud to be attached to you. Wouldn’t mind being more attached to you, right now.”

“I was joking, anyway.” Chris leaned down, kissing Len. “But it will be clear to everyone that you are coming from my quarters.”

Len snickered. “After everything that’s already happened, I’m sure it’s common knowledge by now.”

“Before I forget, I might have someone to replace you here on the Enterprise.”

“I didn’t know I was being replaced,” Len said, an edge in his tone.

Chris wasn’t sure what it meant, either. “I may have presumed too much, then. Jim asked if I knew anyone, and I had someone in mind.”

“I haven’t decided to leave yet.” Len let out a sigh. “I guess it’s been decided for me.”

“I have to go back to Earth when I’m finished here.”

“I needed to be asked,” Len said, sitting up. “I need to tell Jim that I’m leaving. Not have him assume it, and you confirm it. You don’t speak for me.”

He hadn’t even considered that. “Apologies. I am not sure what I can say to you. I –”

“You need to ask me, flat out,” Len said very seriously. “And I need time to decide what I’m going to do. While I am not wedded to staying on the ship, I damned well am going to make my own decisions about how I’ll leave it. You don’t get a say, not yet.”

“Of course, your career choices are your own. I’m sorry,” Chris said sincerely. He was fucking this up by assuming that his choices took precedence. “Will you come back to Earth with me? Live with me in my house in San Francisco. Be a part of my life from now on?”

“I really am going to need some time to think about that,” Len frowned as he said it. There was something in his tone that didn’t sound right.

“All right,” Chris said. It would hurt tremendously if Len said no, but it wasn’t fair to rush him on it either. “Maybe we should get some sleep.”

Len looked at him and sighed. “As I said, I will leave the Enterprise. I will miss the crew and especially Jim and Spock, but space has never been my favorite place to be, well, ever. I am not sure I want to go back to San Francisco. Aside from everything else, the weather, even with the controls, is terrible.”

“Is there somewhere else you’d rather live? Atlanta? Although the summer heat and humidity would probably do me in.”

Len was already shaking his head. “God no. Not a chance of that. Truthfully, I don’t want to be on the same planet as Jocelyn, thanks. How would you feel about a Starbase?”

“Like Starbase 1?” That was a good suggestion. Chris would actually enjoy being on Starbase 1 almost as much as he would San Francisco. It was close enough to Earth that he would see his family regularly.

“Well, they’ve certainly got a great hospital there. Maybe they’d give me a job,” Len mused.

Given what Christine had said about Len’s talent, he was fairly sure that all Len would have to do was submit a transfer request. “I’m sure we could work something out,” Chris said, relaxing a little. “The Federation Diplomatic Corps headquarters are there for that region of space. I’d have to do something about my house in San Francisco, though. And the ranch in Montana.”

“You have a ranch in Montana? I’ve always wanted to go there. I ride.”

That was unexpected and wonderful, so few people rode anymore. The big question was, “Western or English?”

“Western. Though I can ride English. I had lessons as a kid.”

Just imagining Len in breeches and boots… No. Do not go there, now. He looked at Len, who was smirking at him and probably knew what he was thinking. He cleared his throat. “So, I spent my early years on a ranch in Mojave. Then I grew up in San Francisco.” Chris looked at him. “Did we just find a compromise?”

Len looked surprised. “I think so. I was pretty pissed off after what you said about that conversation with Jim, but I’m not anymore. Also, you should keep the ranch. I want to see it.”

“If you don’t like the weather in San Francisco, then you are really not going to like Montana winters.”

“Probably not, especially since I hate the bitter cold.” Len shivered. “But we can go there in good weather. It’s not that far from Starbase 1, either.”

“A few hours by shuttle,” Chris agreed. “And I could tell how unhappy you were with me. I’m sorry about that. I take charge –”

“No, really? I would never have guessed that,” Len snarked. “I wonder if this was the bond making us talk to each other?”

“How do you mean that?” Chris asked. “I am not usually very good at these kinds of conversations.”

“You’re a diplomat, how can you not be good at negotiations?” There was a definite note of amusement in the question.

And Chris admitted that it was fair, too. “I told you I was terrible at relationships. That would be why.”

“We’ll have to work on that.” Len leaned over and kissed him. “Not right this second, though.”

“We’ve got a full day tomorrow, and I’m exhausted. Let’s just go to sleep.” Chris kissed him again.

Len cuddled him close, and Chris put his head down on Len’s chest and closed his eyes. He felt a little more settled.

*****

---