Reading Time: 127 Minutes

Title: You Got It
Author: Duochanfan
Fandom: 9-1-1
Genre: Drama, Family, Hurt/Comfort, Romance, Slash
Relationship(s): Evan Buckley/Eddie Diaz
Content Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Hate Crimes/Hate Speech, Violence – Graphic, Violence – Domestic and/or Against Children , Discussions of Domestic and Child Abuse, Non Parental Child Abuse, False Accusation of Sexual Abuse towards a Minor, Discussion of Rape, Past Rape, Belief of Adultery, Home Invasion, Suicidal Ideation, Canon Minor Character Death,
Beta: J-Love99, HarleyJQuin
Word Count: 126,634
Summary: Getting the Jeep from Maddie was his ticket to freedom, but when it led to him stopping outside of a Community College in El Paso, he decided that it was a sign from the Universe that he should at least get a degree. When a week later one of his House Share friends dragged him to an Under 21s Bar, he meets Eddie Diaz, home from deployment for the birth of his son. A yell and a push from Shannon in the hopes of her friend getting laid, Evan ends up finding everything he had been looking for. He gains a friend, a confidant, a boyfriend and even a son, but not everyone is happy with the new little family unit coming together.
Artist: Spennig

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Chapter Thirty One

Christopher’s sixth birthday passed in a rush of mess and sugar highs, and the crashes that came afterwards. Though both Shannon and Eddie were pained when they heard his birthday wish. He spoke of it in a hushed whisper to Isabel. He wanted to see Evan. Eddie had been going to some of the fire stations, trying to find Xiaoli, so far there hadn’t been any luck. It wasn’t until almost a week after Christopher’s birthday that he was watching TV. It was a little late for him to be doing so, he was up past his bedtime, but he hadn’t been feeling that well. So since Shannon was at a late-night meeting, Eddie had let him watch the TV for a little while, it was a weekend, so he didn’t have school in the morning.

“Daddy! Daddy!” Christopher yelled from the living room, continuing to call for him.

Eddie’s heart went into his throat as he heard the panicked and excited call. He thought something might be wrong. Instead, he stopped. His eyes went wide as he saw what his son was seeing. On the screen was Evan. And right below it, his name, Evan Buckley.

“It’s papa!” Christopher yelled as he got up, reaching out for Eddie.

“Yeah,” Eddie said, voice shaking as he took his son into his arms and watched the screen. Hearing the familiar voice was like a dream. “It’s really him,” he murmured as he took in the sight of the man, he had bulked up a little. But his eyes were still the same. Still showed his emotions. There was sadness there, so much of it.

“You can get papa now! My birthday wish daddy, I wanted to see papa and it worked!” he laughed brightly, “So you can get him to come home now. I’ve missed him. I can’t remember his hugs anymore, but I can remember that they made me feel safe and warm. It was nice daddy, like the way your hugs make me feel safe and loved and happy.”

Eddie hugged him tightly, “Then I will do what I can. I think we’re going to have to do this slowly. It’s been a long time since he was part of our family, he might not want to be now.”

“He will, Papa loves us very much. He said in his videos that he will be with us all the time. That he will love us all the time. He will want to come home, he said so,” Christopher babbled, remembering all the things that Evan had said in his messages.

“Then we’ll start with sending him a letter to know that we think of him and still love him,” Eddie told him, “How about that?” he grinned at Christopher who was now nodding furiously.

“Yes,” he squealed, “And I can draw pictures and tell him what I’ve done as well. That I miss papa so much. I do daddy, I miss him a lot,” he added as he leaned back against his dad.

“I know, so do I,” Eddie told him quietly, kissing his head, “Why don’t you get started on those pictures and I’ll make a start on a letter. But don’t forget you need to go to bed soon.”

“But daddy, we have to make sure it’s all perfect for papa,” he whined, pouting at him, “It’s going to take me ages to get them perfect, so I need to stay up.”.

Eddie snorted, kissing his forehead, “And it will be, but we can take a day or two before we have to give them to him.”

Christopher looked at him before nodding, “Okay, but only tomorrow. You have to do it tomorrow.”

“Alright, but maybe bed tonight, and I’ll make a start on my letter,” he said, as he noticed the clock and the time.

“Fine, but daddy you have to get up early. No lazing in bed,” he nodded as he was picked up and taken to his room. He knew his dad enjoyed sleeping in when he got the chance. Christopher would often join him if it was the weekend or he didn’t have school.

Eddie laughed, “No lazing in bed for me, I promise,” he agreed as he tucked his son into bed, taking off his glasses and putting them to one side, “Love you mijo,” he said, kissing his forehead once more.

“Love you daddy and love papa and mommy too,” Christopher yawned as he curled up under his covers and went to sleep easily.

Eddie sat on the edge of his son’s bed for a few more minutes, before going to the dining table and sitting down. He spent most of the night well past when Shannon returned home and went to bed, trying to compose a letter. Now that he knew where Evan was, he was terrified. Would Evan even want to know them anymore? Especially after all that had happened. Though Eddie would at least have to pass on the bank details for the account with the money that his parents had to pay to Evan. Shaking his head and yawning, he could see that it was now really late. He would need a little sleep before he had to get Christopher up, he had promised to get up early and laze around in bed after all.

XxXxX

Eddie sat in his truck as he looked at Station 118. This was Evan’s station. He didn’t know if the man was even there at all. But he would have to take that chance. He waited until he could see the crew begin to rush towards the trucks. Smiling, he saw Evan, laughing as he joined them. As they sped out of the station Eddie got out of his truck. The bay doors were still open, meaning that someone had been left behind. He would hand the letter over to someone there and hope that it would get to Evan. Holding the letter and the makeshift folder that he had to put together for all the pictures that Christopher had spent the last week drawing for Evan. And all the photos that the three of them picked out for Evan to look at, a reminder of the family he had left to protect. It had taken Eddie that long to even gather the courage to go to the station to drop them off.

Eddie walked over and into the bay area. He glanced around, wondering if he should call out at all. The place was nice and felt welcoming.

“Eddie!” came a voice as someone looked over the railing of the loft area.

“Xiaoli!” Eddie said, eyes going wide as he saw the man.

“Wait there,” he said as he rushed down the stairs and wrapped the man into a hug, “Damn, it’s good to see you. You have no idea how long I’ve been trying to get in touch with someone.”

Eddie nodded, “We’ve moved to LA, we were finally able to get away from them. Started a life here, but Janet, she passed away. We remembered that you were here, and were starting to search for you. Hoping that you might have heard from Evan. Then Chris saw him on TV, and I couldn’t believe it.”

“He really didn’t like that interview, he just lost the first person on the job, always a tough thing to go through. He said he was going to see someone about it, I think he has been, but he’s been on edge for the last two days,” Xiaoli said, shaking his head before asking, “Are you going to stick around to see him?”

Eddie froze and then shook his head. “I don’t think I can just yet, I-” he cut himself off, shaking his head a second time. “I want to, believe me. But I need Evan to make that choice if he wants to come back to us. I would love nothing more than to be here, to take him in my arms and never let him go. But that has to be his choice.”

Xiaoli looked at him and then nodded, “Fine, it’s your choice, but he wants nothing more than that. He’s been… unhappy for the most part without you, Chris and Shannon. You three are his family and he loves and misses you all so much. Have to say I’ve missed you, but not like he has done.”

“Then, give him these,” he said, holding up what had been in his hands. “There’s a letter from me, with my contact details, along with where we’re living at the moment. And the other is all the pictures that Chris could make for his papa, along with some photos,” he smiled softly as he handed them over.

Xiaoli looked down at them, “I’ll give them to him,” he promised, taking hold of them and clutching them tightly.

“Thank you,” Eddie murmured.

“I wish you would stay, Buck… Evan would love nothing more than to see you again. To know that you’re okay. He was so scared that you would have been killed over in Afghanistan and he wouldn’t have even known about it,” Xiaoli told him quietly.

“I was hurt, but I’m doing better, it’s taken me a year to get back on my feet properly enough that I don’t feel like a ghost,” Edie confessed, “Shannon made me go to therapy, and the physio for my arm, I’m mostly back to how I was.”

“Evan will not be happy to hear that you have been hurt,” he murmured, shaking his head.

“I explained it all in my letter, what’s happened since I saw him last. It’s… long, very long. The photos, well I thought he would like to see Chris and how he has grown. He still asks for his papa. His birthday wish this year was to see him, then a week later, he’s on the TV, well,” Eddie smiled, shrugging.

“Yeah, I’m glad of it as well. I’ve been going to El Paso to try and find someone, Mrs Lewis was out and I’ve left letters and messages with those that use the house share. But-”

“The last few that went through that place were not the best. They trashed the place. Had to stop using it for a while. Had a caretaker there, but he wasn’t exactly the best either. Had to deal with squatters after that. Mrs Lewis ended up heading out to see her sister for a while. Let her son deal with things,” Eddie explained, “Might be why you couldn’t get in touch.”

“Right,” he sighed, shaking his head, “Hope she’s doing well now.”

“She is happily enjoying retirement now, she left everything to her son. He is working well in taking over the house share, already got two more on the go,” Eddie told him, smiling.

“That’s good to hear. I was going to be taking another trip down there in a few weeks. Would be the fifth time I would have done so since I found out what happened,” he said as he looked at him, “You do look well. Which I know Buck is going to be happy about.”

“Buck?” Eddie frowned, “You said that earlier as well.”

“He doesn’t use his given name that much at the moment. Got called Buck when he started at the fire academy, too many Evans in his class. Doesn’t seem to mind it at all. But don’t worry about it, I think I’m the only one here that can get away with calling him Evan, anyone else and he ignores them. Though, you can ask him about things here. He’s worked at this station for about a month, a month and a half now. He’s doing well though,” he answered, smiling a little, “He’s finding his footing.”

“Yeah, I’ll… talk to him as soon as he gets in contact. Keep him safe for me?” Eddie asked him, biting his lip.

“You know I will,” Xiaoli promised, “It’s a hard job at times. We meet people on the worst day of their lives and we are their hope of getting them through it. Most of the time we can get them to safety, and treat them, but not all the time. That is the part that takes a toll on you.”

Eddie nodded, “I can understand that,” he agreed, “I need to go, Chris will be expecting me home soon,” he sighed, “Tell Ev, that I still love him. Though it’s all there in that letter.”

“I’ll still tell him,” Xiaoli promised, “And I’ll give him this as soon as he gets back, just a minor call from the sound of it, otherwise I would be out there with them.”

“Thanks, for a lot of things,” Eddie said, hugging him one last time before he turned around and left. He went back to his truck and remained there until he saw the fire engines return. Seeing Evan getting out of one of them made him smile. Maybe tonight he’ll be able to hear his voice again. This time for real and not just from a recording. Starting the engine, he headed home to Christopher.

Chapter Thirty Two

Evan jumped down from the engine. He glanced around, wondering where Xiaoli was, as usual, the man was hanging around waiting for them to get back, to make sure they were all fine. This time, he wasn’t there.

“Xiaoli,” he called out as the others all began to head up to the loft. “Hey,” he greeted the man that was sitting at the table.

“Oh, hey Evan,” Xiaoli turned to face him, “Sorry, I was a little lost in thought.”

“Don’t worry about that, shift is over in a couple of hours, want to come with me to see Aria tonight after shift. Visiting hours are still on until nine tonight,” Evan said as he went over and sat down.

“Yeah, be nice to see my Zhinu,” Xiaoli smiled at him, “I still can’t believe you’re in the process of taking her in.”

“Well, she’s alone. I had to,” Evan told him, sitting down next to him, “What’s all this,” he gestured to what was on the table.

“This is for you,” he sighed, “Was going to wait until after shift to give it to you when we get home. But, here,” he said, pushing them over.

Evan looked at them and frowned. “Okay,” he nodded as he looked at the folder. It had his full name on it and then one word that made him freeze. “Papa,” he whispered, voice shaking as he ran his fingers over it. Opening it up he came across a dozen, maybe even more, hand-drawn pictures by a child. Shaky letters underneath things proclaiming who each figure was.

“Yeah,” Xiaoli said quietly as he watched Evan slowly go through them all, tears falling from his eyes as he looked at each one carefully.

“Are they really from Chris?” he asked, glancing over at Xiaoli. The two could feel the eyes of the rest of the A-Shift on them but neither really cared at that moment in time.

“They are, Eddie, he stopped by,” he answered.

Evan looked at the letter that was now left after finishing going through all the drawings and photos. Opening it, he started to read, face going pale for a while, tears now falling from his eyes. He finished reading, noting the number at the end of the letter before he broke down and cried, hiding his head in his arms.

Xiaoli looked pained but knew that part of them were happy tears as well as sad ones for all that he missed with his family. Rubbing Evan’s back, he noticed the curious looks that Hen was giving him. He shook his head and went back to paying attention to Evan, “Hey, it’s going to be just fine. You have them again. They are here and waiting for you.”

“I just,” Evan began, taking a shaky breath as he fought the tears, “I never really thought I would. That I would find them, it might have happened eventually, but I wasn’t thinking now or this year or even next. I was thinking years in the future.”

“Well, you don’t have to wait that long. They’re here Evan, don’t… don’t let them slip through. Though I doubt you will.” The smile on Evan’s face was bright for a moment before he broke out into tears once more.

“I’ve missed them so much, I’ve missed seeing Chris grow. He’s six now and I’ve missed his birthdays,” he cried as quietly as he could.

Xiaoli looked at the envelope that contained the letter and frowned a little as he saw something sticking out of it. “Evan,” he called to him, pointing.

Evan looked at it, “Pictures,” he murmured as he reached out, pulling a dozen pictures from the envelope and looking through them. “Oh, he, he looks so big now,” he said, wiping at his eyes as he went through them, seeing the occasional glimpse of Eddie and even Shannon in them as well.

Xiaoli smiled as he saw them as well, “He does. And Eddie came here, to hand these over. He told me to tell you that he still loves you. The ball is in your court. He’s waiting on you this time.”

Evan nodded, “Yeah, I’ll… I’ll call him, tell him I want to see him,” he said, biting his lip as he gave a shudder.

“You okay?” Xiaoli asked him, he had been noticing how withdrawn Evan had become. He could smile with the best of them, but Xiaoli knew his real smile and the one he had taken to using after joining them. But it was even dimmer now.

“I… I’m fine, just,” he shrugged, gesturing to the pages of art, words, and the photos in front of him. “Just shocked,” he murmured.

Xiaoli nodded, not knowing if he should believe him or not. Yes, it was a shock, but he hoped that Evan was going to be okay. A lot had happened over the last week. He knew that he was still struggling with the death of Devin. The first that had died on this job for him. Now Eddie and Christopher reappear in his life. Anyone would struggle. “I can understand that, you do what you need to, but let Eddie know you still love him, I know you do.”

“I never stopped Xiaoli, never,” Evan said looking over at him. “He missed me, Chris actually missed me, he remembers me. I didn’t think he would by now. That he would have forgotten. But Eddie said that he remembers and misses me so much. That he wished for me to come back,” there was a touch of awe in his voice at his words.

Xiaoli nodded, “Well, go and clean up, put those away and tonight maybe call him. I’ll be there as well, don’t forget.”

“How could I, we live together,” Evan said, as he stood up, gathering everything and putting it away, though he kept out a picture of Christopher and Eddie together. Though it looked to be at least a year or so ago. Eddie was wearing a sling and Christopher still looked young. Younger than some of the other pictures.

Xiaoli watched him go before sighing in his chair. He slumped as he heard the others walk a little closer, “You can ask, but that doesn’t mean I’ll tell you everything that’s going on,” he said, glancing up as he saw Hen, Bobby and Chimney stand around the table. The rest of the A-Shift were dotted around the loft and he could hear some using the gym while they had some downtime.

“What’s upset him so much?” Hen asked, genuine concern in her voice as she sat down at the table.

Xiaoli smiled sadly, “Someone got in touch that Evan wasn’t expecting yet. It’s a surprise, but a welcomed one.”

Chimney snorted, “A good surprise and a welcome one wouldn’t leave someone like that,” he pointed out, giving Xiaoli a disbelieving look.

“It would if he didn’t think it would happen for another few years. That he had spent the last almost three years wishing for it and it hadn’t happened. And that Evan had been trying to get in touch with them, and nothing had worked,” he retorted, giving the man a blank look.

Bobby nodded, “You can understand our worry, Li, we’re concerned about him. We’ve never seen Buck react that way before.”

“Captain, with due respect, you don’t know Evan that well. You’ve all known him for less than two months. I’ve known him for a lot longer, six, almost seven years of friendship. I know everything that has gone on, you may not have seen Evan like this before. But I have,” Xiaoli sighed heavily, running his hand through his hair as he wondered what he could say without breaking Evan’s confidence.

“And why the hell do you call him Evan?” Chimney asked, he had used the name a few times, especially after he had heard Xiaoli call him that, “We do that and he just ignores us.”

“Because I’m his brother. There are only a few people in this world that Evan will allow to call him by his given name. And basically, three of them have just got back in contact. He’s upset and overjoyed all at once and he…” he trailed off shaking his head, “Look, this is his story to tell. Not mine. I might be part of it but what is going on is for him to explain if he wishes to. If he doesn’t, drop it,” he warned them, knowing that sometimes Hen and Chimney were a little pushy when they wanted to know things about people.

Bobby nodded, “That’s fine, it’s up to him what he wants to tell us. We have no right to push him when he doesn’t want to,” he agreed easily, as he moved towards the counters, “And I know that you’re close with him, you were the one that recommended him to me.”

“Of course I did, I knew he would be good at this job and I thought he would be a good fit here as well. He specializes in heavy rescue, we don’t really have one on A-Shift at all. He might be a probie, but he’s damn good still. He worked hard for it all as well,” Xiaoli smiled slightly, looking pleased that Bobby had taken his recommendation seriously.

“I already noted his scores at the academy. He impressed a number of station captains out there. I was going to try for him anyway, but you just added weight to my decision,” Bobby admitted quietly. “I didn’t get the chance to interview him, so I take it that he chose this station because of you?”

“He knew I worked here, but no, it wasn’t a factor in his decision. It was actually more of a turn off from it,” he told him, snorting, “He didn’t want to be overshadowed or feel like he was going to be watched over too much by me. So in the end what got him to come here was that he had heard good things about you. He asked around. I know he asked a few of the other captains their opinions on you and some of the other captains that asked after him. That is what helped him make his choice in the end. Your method of giving everyone a fair chance to prove that they have what it takes to do this job.”

Bobby relaxed a little with that. He had wondered if Xiaoli had been a factor in Evan joining the 118 and to learn that it hadn’t made him feel as though Evan was truly suited for the station after all. “That’s good I think.”

“Evan’s always been rather level-headed about things. Wouldn’t have thought it when I first met him. He was… young. Nineteen and angry at things, but also a little shy and scared. He wanted something, and he found it. He changed so much in that time. Was stronger, and more sure of himself,” he smiled, thinking about Evan from when he first met him and over the years that he had known the young man.

“He does fit this station well, and I can’t see him being shy at all,” Bobby frowned, thinking of the bright and happy young man that was Evan ‘Buck’ Buckley.

“You didn’t meet him back then. You would see such a change in him. From back then, to three years ago to now. You’d be surprised. He was scared, unsure, and damn was he an adorable bean. Mrs Lewis wanted to mother him most of the time, I just wanted to show him that he was safe. You could tell that he didn’t feel that way at first,” he sighed, knowing he was saying too much now.

“Right,” Hen frowned as she looked at her fellow firefighter.

Evan chose that moment to come back. His face washed and only his eyes were still a little red from his tears. He smiled as he walked into the loft, “Hey,” he greeted them all, heading to the table and taking a seat.

“You feeling better Buck?” Hen asked as she looked him over.

“Yeah, just… a little shocked, but I’m all good now. Nothing to worry about,” he smiled at her.

“Coffee anyone?” Bobby asked as he started a pot.

He got a chorus of yeses from them all and set about sorting out mugs. Hen and Chimney were sitting at the table as Bobby soon handed out the drinks and joined them.

Chapter Thirty Three

“So is no one going to ask about the elephant in the room?” Chimney said as he looked around the table. No one said a word. “Fine, I’ll do it then,” he rolled his eyes as he looked at Evan and asked, “What happened? Who has just got in contact that upset you so much?”

“You don’t ask for a little do you,” Evan snorted, hands wrapped around the coffee mug, letting the heat seep into his hands. He had washed his face with cold water, hoping it would help keep the redness from his crying at bay.

“Well, I want to know, sorry,” Chimney snapped a little. “We come here and we see you crying, not just crying, but actually break down sobbing. And Li here-”

“Xiaoli, how hard can it be to call someone the name they prefer,” Evan said, it wasn’t the first time he has said such a thing. “I prefer you all to call me Buck, but he prefers to be called Xiaoli. Not hard.”

“Fine Xiaoli,” Chimney snapped again, “Knows something but he isn’t saying anything.”

“Of course he isn’t. It’s my business about what is going on,” Evan replied, “I don’t mind telling you a few things. But it’s still my business. Something that I have to do and come to terms with as well.”

“Then tell us what you can, if you want to,” Hen said, giving him a smile and then Chimney a glare, putting a restraining hand on his arm.

“Fine,” Evan sighed, “I fell in love. And I do mean head over heels in love. And we were together for three years. Three years we had each other. We had a son as well. Christopher’s mother was there, she was one of my closest friends. Xiaoli here, being my best beside Eddie. Eddie and I got together. I was raising Christopher between studying for my degree and trying to decide what I was going to do when I was done.”

“Most likely bouncer for you,” Chimney snorted.

Evan stared at him, “Really. Bouncer?” he rolled his eyes, “What the hell do you see in me Chimney? Because obviously, it isn’t a firefighter.”

“I just think that is what you’d be good at. You have the brawn for it, and you don’t need to be smart,” he answered, shrugging.

“And who’s to say I’m not smart. I have a degree in psychology and I’m halfway through a second in Fire Science. I’m not dumb,” he said, staring at the man, shaking his head slightly.

“And he also did his first year in a teaching degree,” Xiaoli added, remembering what Evan had decided he would do before things had gone south.

“Teacher?” Bobby asked as he looked at Evan.

Evan nodded, “I was going to be a teacher. It’s on my resume that I spent a year working as a teaching assistant in an Elementary school. I was going to try and work towards that,” he answered Bobby.

“And what happened? Someone realized you weren’t what they expected?” Chimney asked him, expecting others to laugh at his words.

“I was getting attacked in the street. Lost my job, and the cops were being called almost all the time on me if they saw me with my son. Fuck, one day they attacked our home. Got in and could have easily hurt me and Chris. I had no choice in the end but to leave. To leave my son behind. As I wasn’t able to take him out of the state thanks to his abusive grandparents,” he snapped a little as he looked at Chimney, “Don’t judge me because you really don’t know me or what I’ve been through. You’ve known me for six weeks. Six small weeks and while we spend time together, you haven’t taken that time to really get to know me. Keeping me at an arm’s distance, and I can understand that. But don’t sit there and say things like that when you have no idea what the fuck is going on,” he finished, glaring.

Hen put a hand on Chimney’s arm again, stopping him from saying anything else. She was starting to put things together. Remembering a conversation with Xiaoli not long after the man had started helping out on their shift occasionally, before his full move to A-shift. “What happened Buck?” she asked, her voice more calming and gentle than Chimney’s more caustic and accusatory tone had been.

Evan took a breath, calming the anger he was feeling. “Chris and I were home alone. Just the two of us. Shan had moved out over a year before at that point. She lived in an apartment nearby. I barely left the house, the cops were being called all the time, being beaten if I was seen by someone. It was a lot. Hell, we couldn’t even play in the backyard much because someone would throw things over the high fence. it didn’t matter that a three-year-old little boy was playing in the garden and could be hurt. They broke the windows. I had to grab Chris, and protect him, I still have scars on my back from that night. The glass dug in deep in places,” he told her, not looking at Chimney. “I ended up in the damn bathroom. I wasn’t exactly a bulky person back then, I didn’t have any of the SEAL training I do now. I wasn’t a fighter,” he sighed, rubbing his face as he felt the tears in his eyes. “I just had to protect Chris, so barricaded us inside the bathroom, and called the cops, hoping they could get there before those bastards could break into the bathroom. They did, thankfully. Don’t know what happened to them afterward. I wasn’t around. I had to leave the state, get away. And we couldn’t move with Chris anywhere else. His fucking grandparents, Eddie’s parents, had made sure of that. Each time we did something they were there to stop us doing anything, determined to take Christopher from the three of us. So I left the next morning. They had almost hurt Christopher four times. I couldn’t chance it happening again, because next time he might just have gotten hurt. I told Shan to take Chris and get him out of that house and never return. I had to leave. Unfortunately, other things happened and I couldn’t contact them again. And now Eddie is back, he’s waited for me like I waited for him.”

Evan sunk in his chair, he could feel Xiaoli’s hand on his shoulder, giving him a little strength as he felt drained with what he had just said. He had bared a little bit of what he had been through. Not everything, but enough that it should get through to them.

Hen looked at Evan, seeing the defeated look that was on his face, she was about to say something when Chimney yelled beside her.

“You abandoned your son?!” he said in disgust, “You’re worse than I thought.”

Evan looked up, eyes going wide, “Abandoned, you think I would have left Christopher if I had a fucking choice in anything. I didn’t have one. I had no choice but to leave him with his mother. As long as he was near me he could have been hurt, or even killed because no one seemed to fucking care that there was a toddler with me most of the time I was out. Hell, they rushed at me with him in his stroller. Calling the fucking cops at the same damn time. I wanted nothing more than to take my son and run. But I couldn’t, the law wouldn’t even let me do that. I had full custody of Chris. Eddie was in a war zone, thousands of miles away. I was alone, and Shannon was busy with work most of the time. I had to go, I had no choice. I never wanted to leave my son, do you even know what it feels like to have to walk away. To say it would be safer for me to be gone. I couldn’t watch him grow up and I left… I left before he could-” he cut himself off as his voice was shaking too much to continue.

“You left and abandoned them when things got a little tough. You’re young,” Chimney snorted, still not fully listening to what was being said. “You’re lying to try and protect yourself.”

Evan felt the rage boiling as he snapped at Chimney, “No, I’m not the one that fucking lying to someone. That would be you. Or do you forget that you keep telling Tatiana that you are doing all these brave rescues? Or that you’ve passed the Cap’s cooking off as your own. I know all about that Chimney. I know what happened, and if you want to believe something else because it doesn’t fit the image that you have of me, well that’s a problem you need to sort out. And try sorting your own fucking shit out before you decided that take things out on me.”

“I’m not doing any-” Chimney began, shaking his head.

“You are though, fuck man, that’s… to me what you’re doing is fucking disgusting. You’re lying to someone to be in a relationship with them. It’s sick man,” Evan said, sneering at Chimney, he had always thought so. Eddie had been his only serious relationship. But he had one-night stands before he met him. He loved Eddie and still did, he was loyal damn it. Evan’s fist clenched on the table as he shook, shaking his head as he shuddered again. Pushing things away so he could deal with the man in front of him.

“Chim,” Bobby said, his voice calmer than theirs, “Buck is right, it’s lying to your partner. You should be truthful to them and be able to be yourself.”

Chimney got up, the chair falling backward, “Right, pick on me again. Why am I always the fucking joke with you all.”

“No, you’re not, you are a fucking amazing paramedic,” Evan told him, “Amazing, I don’t see why the hell you should be lying to someone you love, you care about. That isn’t love Chimney. That’s all kinds of wrong. Eddie knows me, he knows who I am, what I’m like and everything about me. We might have been out of touch for the last three years, but I’m going to be telling him everything that I’ve been doing in those three years,” he said.

“Your opinion doesn’t count, you left your child because things were hard. Just fucking typical. Most dads don’t know when to actually step up and be a damn parent to their kids. Letting them down all time!” he yelled at Evan.

“Enough!” Bobby yelled this time, the man had never raised his voice to any of those under his command before, not even in heated moments. But this time he had to step in.

Evan glared at Chimney, “You have no idea of anything. You’re not listening to a word that I’ve been saying at all,” he hissed.

“Evan,” Xiaoli said, sending Chimney a murderous look.

“I need to go and calm down before I do something I don’t know if I would regret,” Evan said, shaking as he moved away and headed down the stairs. People watched him as he went, before glancing over at the table.

“If I was anyone else, or didn’t have the restraint I have, I think I would have cold-cocked you by now. And I know Evan should have. Because the shit that spews out of your mouth is disgusting. You fucking disgust me, Howard Han,” Xiaoli stared at him coldly. He wanted to go and check on Evan but knew it was best to let him cool down. He knew that Evan would just snap if someone followed him.

“Are you going after him?” Hen asked Xiaoli.

Xiaoli shook his head a few times, “No, he needs to cool down alone for a bit before I can talk to him and find out what he wants to do,” he sighed.

Bobby was still in shock at what Chimney had said, he didn’t even know how he should react. All he could think of was Brooke and Bobby Jr. He shook himself, putting away the memories of his children. He needed to sort this out before it could cause friction in the team.

Chapter Thirty Four

“Xiaoli,” Hen said carefully as she looked at him, “That friend, from back then, was it Buck?” she asked.

Xiaoli looked at her, “Yeah. You have no idea how scared I was for him. He had just lost everything. Not settling anywhere, traveling from one place to another. Sometimes he wouldn’t answer my calls for a few days. Sometimes he would leave me on read, or just send me a thumbs up to tell me he was still alive. Emails I got more of, though still would take a few days or a week or two before he would send me one.”

“You really thought he might have… I remember how worried you were. When you had him with you, you were happier and less stressed,” she added.

Xiaoli nodded, “I could see him, help him, talk with him. Remind him that he isn’t alone and that we’d find a way to get him back to Chris and Eddie. Because they mean the world to him, and they still do. What you said Chimney, was out of order, way out of order. You don’t know what he suffered and still does. He’s so quick to work on his mental health now because he knows one wrong thing and he could feel like he did before. One moment away from losing the world around him again.”

Bobby looked at him, “I’m going to have to ask, is he suicidal?”

Xiaoli shook his head, “At one point he had been, but not anymore. When he came back to join the Academy, I made him go and see someone, to help with what he was going through. It’s on his file that he has PTSD. He knows how to deal with his triggers, and how to help himself to calm down before he can panic. He has worked damn hard to make sure of that.”

“He sounds like he worked hard on a lot of things,” Bobby said quietly.

Hen looked at Chimney, “Buck is right, he did the right thing at the time by leaving.”

“It almost killed him, and I think if he hadn’t spent that week with me, he wouldn’t be here now. I was the last thing keeping him grounded. As far as Evan was concerned he had lost Eddie and Chris, he had lost his world and never thought he would have it back when we couldn’t get in touch with them at all,” Xiaoli finished just as quietly as Hen.

“He left his child, left his son alone without his father,” Chimney said, shaking his head, “How could that be forgiven.”

“Because he didn’t do it for his own benefit, he did it for Christopher’s. And Chris has three parents. Evan, Shannon and Eddie. Eddie and Evan are together. Shannon and Eddie were together, though from what they said they had a friend with benefits going on while he was on leave,” Xiaoli snorted, thinking of the more colorful ways that Shannon had often put it. “He loves that kid so much,” he sighed.

“Then-”

“Change the tune Han,” Xiaoli said, glaring at him, “He did what he had to, no matter how it felt to them all. Someone else was to blame for that having to happen. Leave it be, you’re never going to listen to what we’re saying. Ignore what you think happened and then put yourself in his shoes. He has a kid, a kid that is dependent on him. He is alone in the house with him. The child’s mother lives elsewhere and father is overseas in the army. What is he supposed to do, stay where he is, being attacked daily, where being near him was putting Christopher in danger. He hated that he was doing that. Do you know how many times I had him on the phone in tears because he was scared? Daily, sometimes twice a day, that’s how much. His whole life was turned upside down, he had no way to even support Christopher either, since everything was being slammed in his face causing him to be fired. The only thing on his side with him was fucking CPS. You are so… ugh!” Xiaoli growled, “You think you know someone. I thought you weren’t so bad but you see something and you think it’s a fact. Just because Evan appears like the typical jock type you believe it’s true, but guess what, he isn’t!”

“Then why the hell does he keep getting people’s numbers while we are on calls?” Chimney yelled at him, “He’s always getting hit on. And all he does is smile at them and talk to them. Then he gets their number.”

Xiaoli laughed, “Oh wow, that’s jealousy in your voice. Get a fucking grip. Evan doesn’t even know what is going on half the time with them. He’s dated Eddie, and Eddie alone since he was nineteen. He wouldn’t know what the hell to do when someone hits on him even if they were being blatantly obvious about it. From what Evan told me, Edie made the first move and even then Shannon had to help him get Evan,” he snorted, having heard all about the phone call to Shannon and her practically begging Evan to bed Eddie. “Evan does nothing with those numbers except look at me in cluelessness and toss them away as soon as he is out of their sight. He released after the first time one of the women burst into tears around him that he better not do it in front of them. Right into the bin in the locker room.”

“I think the ones from today are still there,” Bobby nodded, “Chimney,” he said as he addressed the man, “What you have said was out of line. You don’t know the full circumstances. We’re only hearing a little of what has been going on. And for him to be physically scared from an attack meant that he must have been really hurt. If that happened to him, then imagine what it would have done to a three-year-old toddler.”

Chimney shook his head, “He gets everything, all the best rescues.”

“That’s because he is best qualified for them. He is a certified S&R, along with Heavy Rescues. Why else would I use him in those types of Rescues? Would I ask him to take care of a patient?” Bobby asked, “Seriously Chimney, you’re a paramedic firefighter. Main focus is the medical side. I wouldn’t send Buck out to do those types of calls, because he isn’t qualified. Why would I send you when you aren’t qualified? If you want to do them, take the qualifications for them, do the training, like Buck has done,” he added, shaking his head. “I suggest that you get your head back in the game and remember the training that each of us has. Maybe you need to take the time to review everyone’s qualifications to remind yourself that we all have different skill sets. You know what, pop quiz, all three of you,” he began.

“What?” Hen said, looking at him, “What do you mean by that?” she asked.

Bobby looked at her, “Take what you know of each other’s training and answer me this. Scenario, Underwater rescue, one victim trapped. No injuries reported. Needs help getting out. Who would you send?” he asked looking at all three.

“You and Buck,” Hen answered, Xiaoli agreeing with her. Chimney took a while longer before he answered the same.

“Why?” he then asked, giving Chimney a pointed look.

“Because you both are underwater rescue certified,” Xiaoli answered, “He actually enjoyed working on that one.”

“Call comes in, car accident. Car is wrecked, the patient is unconscious, who and what?” he asked them all.

One by one they gave their answer, Chimney being last each time. As Bobby went through a couple more examples.

“Do you understand now why you don’t do the rope rescues? Or things like that Chimney?” Bobby asked him, “If you want to, put in the time and get the certs for them. Buck did, I did. Just like you put in all the time to get certified as a paramedic, full paramedic. Not just EMT training that we all have. You and Hen are both full paramedics. Along with the firefighting and rescue. you each bring something to the table.”

Chimney got up again, “You don’t understand.”

“And neither do you. No one can put themselves into someone else’s shoes. Christopher doesn’t think of Evan as abandoning him. Eddie knows he had to go, and that Chris understands that as well. Evan spent a sleepless and pain-filled night recording videos for Chris. To know he was loved, to watch them over the weeks and maybe months he would be away. No one thought it would be years,” Xiaoli sighed, “You need to get help Han. You need to figure out what the hell is going on and why you are blaming Evan for something he had no choice in.”

Before anyone else could say something the alarm rang and they headed to the engines.

XxXxX

It was a car accident. Not too serious, but three cars were involved. Evan and Xiaoli were off doing what they needed to free a couple of passengers after they had been assessed by Hen. Chimney was at a second car dealing with a patient that was still in the vehicle. It was almost impossible to get to it without moving one of the others out of the way. Chimney was on the hood of the car.

“Guys!” Chimney yelled out, “We need to get him out of here now!” he yelled out.

Evan was the one to answer the call, as Xiaoli got the two from the car and then had the fire truck hook it up and drag it out of the way. Evan checked on the ground as it moved, making sure that there was no fuel on the asphalt. “It’s clear cap!” he yelled out, letting them take it off fully. He rushed to the car that Chimney was at, and began to use the jaws of life on the door so Chimney could have better access to the patients and then started to take the roof off. Soon enough the patient was on a stretcher and another ambulance took him away as they dealt with the last car. The man inside was shut in and yelling up a storm as he blamed everyone around for what had happened.

“Sir, calm down and we are going to get you out of here,” Evan said as he started to approach.

“Just get me the fuck out of here, I need to get going. I’m late,” he yelled at him.

Evan wanted to roll his eyes as he started to force the doors open. Soon enough the door was opened and the man stormed out. Pushing Evan to the side and causing him to stumble, yelling at him about taking too long before he walked away. Evan landed hard, the jaws of life falling on his leg.

“Sir!” the officer on the scene called out, “You need to calm down right now.”

Bobby had seen the altercation and sent Hen to check on him.

“You okay Buck?” she asked him, as she pulled the jaws off him.

“Yeah, just tired,” he sighed as he started to stand, wincing as he put weight on his leg. “Must have bruised it,” he muttered.

“I’ll be the judge of that,” she smiled at him as the officer was being yelled at by the last victim. In the end, the man was cuffed as he tried to assault that officer as well.

“Wonder if he caused all this?” Evan asked as he shook his head.

“Don’t know, but wouldn’t surprise me with how he is acting. They’ll find out, now let’s see to you,” she told him, Xiaoli heading over to take the jaws of life back to the truck. She held his weight up and he limped slowly to the last ambulance left, their own. Hen checked him over, “Okay, bad bruising, needs to be iced and that. You know the drill,” she smiled as she let him move. Still limping slightly.

“Right, you’re done for the day,” Bobby told him, “We’ll get back to the station and you can head home if you want. Or be the man behind for the rest of the day?” he gave him the option.

“Man behind,” Evan said, he wanted to put off the end of his workday for as long as he could. Let himself have more time to think about the letter and the fact that he had a chance of Eddie and Christopher coming back into his life.

Bobby nodded, “Alright,” he said as they cleaned up the scene, Evan being made to sit out before they headed back to the station.

Chapter Thirty Five

“Are you doing alright?” Bobby asked Evan as soon as they settled back at the loft after the call.

“Yeah,” he nodded, Hen was fussing a little as she helped to ice his leg. “Really, I can do that,” he protested as she just looked up from what she was doing and stared at him.

“It’s fine, let me help and rest a little. I know it’s only bruised,” Hen said as she checked him over again, making sure it was only bruising. From the way it felt to her, it was fine. She would be happier if he would get it checked out, but in the six weeks that she had known him she wasn’t going to be able to convince him of that. Thought maybe Xiaoli would be able to.

“I will, you don’t have to worry,” Evan smiled, grateful that she wasn’t insisting on a hospital visit.

“How many numbers did you get this time?” Chimney asked as he came up behind the couch in the loft.

Evan sighed and closed his eyes, “If you must know, none. And for that, I’m thankful. I’m not looking for anyone.”

“What about that Abby woman that’s been calling you?” he then asked, knowing about the occasional phone calls that he had been getting over the last couple of days.

“She’s a friend, maybe,” he sighed, “I don’t know. She’s easy to talk to. She knows about Eddie and that I consider myself still his boyfriend.”

“How can you be when you walked out on them,” Chimney pointed out, as he walked around the couch and sat down in a chair facing him.

Evan just sighed, “Are you even wanting to listen to what I have to say? Or are you just going to yell at me about things that I had no choice in? I wish you could put yourself in my position. But you are so caught up on one little detail that you can’t even see the rest of the picture. I hate what happened, you have no idea what it felt like to lose them, to not be able to see them”

Xiaoli shook his head as he stood up, “You know what. With me, I think we need to have a proper talk about things Howard Han,” he said as he waited for Chimney to stand up.

“I don’t have to do anything, I’m asking Buck to explain why the hell he would leave his kid,” Chimney snapped at the younger man.

“He’s told you, a dozen fucking times already but you aren’t listening. So we’re going to have a talk, maybe listening to me instead of Evan may change your mind. Now I suggest that you start moving or I will be reporting your ass for all the abusive comments that you have been sending towards Evan today,” he threatened, he was no longer going to be nice to someone that had been basically picking on Evan since the younger man had walked through the bay doors. “You’re a lying asshole to your girlfriend and at best a bully towards Evan.”

Bobby blinked at the two of them. Going over what things had been said today and he realized that Xiaoli was right, some of the things that Chimney had said had crossed the line. “I suggest that you go, Chim,” he said to him, “You and I will be having a talk about your behavior today as well.”

“I’m just saying it how it is, Cap,” Chimney snapped, looking at him.

“Lieutenant Han, I suggest that you think very carefully about what you are about to say. I also suggest that you start listening to other people as well. You have been told the circumstances of what has happened and you have ignored everything being said except for one thing. Go and have that talk with Firefighter Huang,” Bobby said, stepping away from the kitchen, his words were more formal this time, in the hopes that it would get through the Chimney.

“Fine,” Chimney huffed as he got up and stormed away. Xiaoli went with him as they headed towards the empty bunk room.

Evan looked tired and upset as he said, “All I wanted was to be there when Chris had to have an operation. In a period of two weeks. I had been physically attacked nine times. I was a mess of bruises, and a couple of broken ribs. In two weeks Chris had almost been hurt three times. A brick was thrown over the garden fence, it missed him by less than a foot,” he told them, looking at Hen in front of him, “I was twenty-two and I was a pariah. I lost my job and everywhere else that I applied to turned me down. Couldn’t even get work as a bartender in a bar that I had worked at before. I could get nothing. All doors were closed to me. Trying to fight the courts in getting permission to leave, and getting turned down, nothing wanted to go right.”

“What exactly happened?” Bobby asked him, walking over and handing out tea and coffee that he had made for those gathering in the loft. There were a number of those from A-shift listening to what was going on.

“I don’t… I don’t want to get into details. Just know that a complaint of Abuse had been sent to CPS when Chris was almost two. At the time it was before he was diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy. So I was recording everything that I found, anything and everything to try and get his doctor to listen when I said that something was wrong with him. They came to the house, at this point I was the sole parent. Shannon had moved out, and I was with Chris. Eddie was in the army, or former now,” he sighed, shifting around uncomfortably with the audience, but he was hoping that if he bared it all then maybe Chimney might realize that what he was saying was out of order, or something at least. “Eddie was only going to do four years, ended up re-enlisting when we found out about Chris’ CP, money was going to be tight, even with all three of us working, Eddie’s insurance because of being in the army was best to get Chris what he needed,” he babbled a little as he then started again, “CPS came. We found out that the bruising on Chris’ legs wasn’t something to do with what he was going through. But someone had been pinching him hard and long enough to cause bruising. It took a few weeks to clear me and Shannon, but then the ones that were doing it were basically caught red-handed. Eddie’s parents are homophobic, and didn’t like the fact that Eddie and Shannon refused to marry, and that Eddie and I are together.”

“How badly homophobic are we talking about Buck?” Hen asked from where she was sitting on the coffee table, she had had to deal with a number of people like that over the years.

Evan looked at her, “So bad that they abused their own grandson in the hopes that he would be taken from us, all three of us that is,” he answered, “So bad that more than once a week they would call CPS to report me as an abuser,” he hesitated for a few moments as he added quietly, “They reported me three weeks before I left as having groomed and sexually abused Christopher. I was investigated by the cops. Cleared of everything. They then started the rumors about it, which is what started the attacks on me. Do you see why I had to leave? The mob rules remember. Doesn’t matter if someone is innocent, people are so easily swayed to continue the wrong narrative,” he said, looking at his mug of coffee, he wished it was something a lot stronger. He could hear the whispers, feel the stares and all he wanted to do was run again. To hide away and let it all pass him by. He wanted Eddie, he wanted to see Christopher and to know that he was okay, that they both were still okay, that no one else had tried to hurt them after he had left. That Helena and Ramon Diaz were unsuccessful at doing anything to them at all.

“Jesus, Buck,” Hen said, eyes going wide, “And you dealt with all that alone?” she asked him.

“I had Shannon, Mrs Lewis, and I would call Xiaoli most nights along with Eddie’s sister Adriana, we got close while she was pregnant and avoiding her parents. None of the family speak to them at all,” He answered her, “I had people around me, but we couldn’t do much. The courts decided that since CPS was being called so much that we might be a flight risk, we weren’t allowed to leave El Paso with Christopher. We could leave, but he had to remain,” he sighed, “So we stayed, carrying on and trying to fight the decision so we could leave.”

“I can understand why you left, you had no choice, because if you had stayed-” Hen stopped, shaking her head as she patted Evan’s leg.

“Christopher could have been hurt, or worse,” Evan finished for her. “I would have given everything to have been able to stay, anything and everything. But it was too risky,” he sighed heavily.

Bobby finally sat down, “And today, the letter you got was from this Eddie?” he asked him.

Evan smiled a little, “Yeah, he told me a little of what happened after I left. Helena and Ramon tried to cause more trouble for Shannon, but she had taken what I said to move away, on board and had done so. Making it impossible for anyone to find out where she and Chris were. Which is why we couldn’t get in contact with them after they moved.”

“So things are better for them now?” Hen asked, taking off the ice from Evan’s leg and checking it again, “Looking a little better, but it’s going to be one hell of a bruise Buck,” she told him.

“It’s just a bruise, it’ll heal,” he reminded her, “And yeah, they moved out here to be with Janet, Shannon’s mother. Though she passed away recently. And Abuela and Pepa are here, that’s Eddie’s grandmother and aunt. I forgot they lived out here. I should have looked for them when I got here. Maybe…”

“Don’t go there Buck,” Bobby stopped him, shaking his head, “Going by what if’s will drive you mad, and you know it. Be happy that Eddie is back, and that, by the sounds of it, he wants to get in touch again.”

“He does, he still considers us together like I do. He and Shannon were so scared when I couldn’t get in touch with them. They thought that something had happened to me,” he told them.

“Happened?” Bobby frowned, “What could have happened to you when you were leaving?” there was a hint of worry in his voice.

“They thought that I might have been killed as I left town. And since I left voluntarily, the cops wouldn’t do anything to even check or try and find me. When Shannon couldn’t call me, the number just rang out and went to voicemail and then was cut off. She feared the worst had happened to me. I was able to get her one last letter, telling her that I had been attacked just before I left. I turned back to tell her to escape out of the house, get Christopher away from everything. I didn’t know at the time that my SIM card and phone would be destroyed enough that I couldn’t get anything from them, no numbers or emails for people that I had. And I only remembered Xiaoli’s because he has a really memorable email address. They thought I was dead for a while. Hoping that I wasn’t and that they would be able to find me.”

“Well, they did,” Hen smiled, “so you have that chance to have your family back.”

Evan nodded, “I do, I… I’m going to call Eddie later, see about meeting up and talking,” he said.

Bobby nodded, “Is he cleared to go home Hen?” he asked her.

“He is,” she smiled, starting to put everything away.

“Then, I think maybe you should get that early chance to get away and call him,” Bobby suggested to their probie.

“Really I don’t have to go I ca-”

“We know you can still work and everything Buck, but don’t look a gift horse in the mouth. Take a chance and call that man of yours. Get to know him again and see where you want to take things. Three years have gone by, don’t waste any more time,” Hen advised him, as she headed down to the ambulance to put things away and then to find Chimney and Xiaoli and see how that talk was going.

Evan sighed and then stood up, testing out his weight, he smiled to himself as it wasn’t as painful as he was thinking. He would have a little limp, but with a bit of rest he should be fine. “Thanks, Bobby,” he said to his captain.

“Go home, call Eddie and talk, I’ll see you next shift,” he said as he let the young firefighter go early.

Chapter Thirty Six

Xiaoli let Chimney lead the way to somewhere quiet, where they could talk without interruption. Inside the bunk room, no one was there, it wasn’t often that someone slept during the day. “So are you going to continue being a complete dick or not?” Xiaoli asked as soon as they had moved into the room and the door closed behind them.

“He-”

“He, nothing, this is all on you. Now shut up and listen to me very fucking closely,” Xiaoli growled as he waited for him to sit down on one of the bunks. Chimney was slow to do but, in the end, he sat and glared at him. “Right, I have known Evan for a long damn time. Six almost seven years. During that time I watched him grow from an unsure and lonely nineteen-year-old, to a confident, happy, and dedicated father at the age of twenty-two. I then watched as he lost everything. And I do mean everything. The only thing he had with him was a bundle of clothes and his jeep. He sent all the money he had saved to Shannon, every little thing he had saved up and damn was it a lot. He saved where he could, he never went out unless with me or Juan. He used us to deflect people that would hit on him. Even before he met Eddie. Juan was the one to take him to an under 21’s bar all the time. Some place he could relax, not that he did.”

“Why are you telling me this?” Chimney asked him, “He left his kid.”

“For fucks sakes, are you so stuck on that, that you can’t see what else was going on at the time. He’s hinted that something happened. I wonder if you saw the scarring on his back, or maybe the larger one on his side at all?” he asked him.

“Yeah, most likely misspent youth thing,” Chimney snorted.

“Nope, that was where glass shattered onto him as he protected his son when his house was being attacked because he lived there. The large one on his side, he was attacked, Christopher was with him. His stroller almost ended up in the road. Evan had to fight himself free to stop it. He was attacked in the street and no one cared that he was being hurt, no one cared that Christopher could have been killed, as they were by a busy fucking road. What was he supposed to do?” Xiaoli asked him, “What could he have done to keep them both safe and together?”

“He could have moved, it would have been so easy to move,” Chimney countered, “Why not just do that instead of leaving his kid?”

“He couldn’t move. They followed him, found him, and searched for him. Hunted him. Moving wasn’t an option,” he answered him, waiting for something else from Chimney so he could counter it.

“Then he could have left the city? Or even the damn State!” he exclaimed, almost shouting now.

“He couldn’t do that either. Christopher wasn’t allowed to leave El Paso. He wasn’t to leave the city at all. Couldn’t take Christopher anywhere, had no choice but to stay and be attacked over and over again, and hope that Christopher didn’t get caught in it. That was the only way they would have stayed together. Constantly moving from place to place around the city, only to be found and attacked again. He left El Paso still needing medical help. He signed out of the hospital, AMA, to get back home to Christopher. So what should he have done?” he asked him, “What should he have done to keep them together and Christopher safe?” he repeated, staring at Chimney.

Chimney stared at him, “He left his-”

“Fucking forget about that, I want to know what you would have done? What would you have done when everything was stacked against you. Your life was in danger, but so was your kid’s life. What would you have done to protect him?” he asked him again, wanting a damn answer from the man.

Chimney was quiet, looking away, “He really couldn’t just take Christopher and run?” he asked him.

“No, the court wouldn’t allow it, and neither would CPS because of the constant reports of abuse,” he answered.

“A… abuse?” Chimney frowned, “But, Buck’s… not like that he’s-”

“No he isn’t, but that didn’t stop Eddie’s parents from making constant claims against him because they are homophobic. Evan is a wonderful father and did what was best for Christopher, not for himself. Him staying would be good for him, he had a home, money, and savings. Leaving he had nothing,” Xiaoli sighed.

Chimney stilled for a moment, “My father left. Left my mother and me when my mom wanted to stay here. He left her and went back to Korea. She died when I was fifteen, leaving me alone. My dad remarried, for a while, he wanted me back and then my brother was born. He stopped, barely speaking to me. I think I’ve talked to him twice in the last five years.”

“Evan, isn’t your dad Chimney, get some help, because of the things you were yelling out there. Fuck man, Evan, Evan loves Christopher so much. He’s got the chance to see him again, to be in his life. I’ve no doubt that soon enough you’ll be seeing pictures and videos of him,” Xiaoli snorted.

Chimney looked at him, “Sounds like you have experience of that.”

“I do, I have videos and pictures of Chris from when Evan was still with him. I got sent videos and pictures all the time,” he pulled his phone from his pocket. Searching through it for a moment, “here, one of the last videos before he left. This was taken the day before before his home was attacked.” Xiaoli handed over his phone and let Chimney watch the video.

Chimney took the phone and looked at the screen as it played. It showed Evan with Christopher, the little boy on his lap and them reading. But he could see that Evan was in pain, there was bruising on his face. And how he winced when Christopher moved in his lap showed that the injury to his side was there. It was a sweet scene. He could hear a female voice in the background, and Christopher yelling for mommy. But refusing to leave his papa.

“He loves him so much, he was supposed to still be in the hospital. But he never liked missing Christopher’s bedtime story. He put him to bed that night. The next night, the house was attacked and things destroyed. Evan had to leave. Leaving behind as many videos as he could make in one night,” he told him, “Think,” he added, taking his phone back, “That is what Evan is like as a dad. He is a damn good one. He left his happiness behind to keep his son safe.”

Chimney sighed, “I, I need to think,” he muttered.

“Should have done that from the start,” Xiaoli snorted, rolling his eyes, “And Chim, get some fucking help with the issues you have with your dad. I know what it’s like to have those types of expectations put on you. The need to do what your parents ask, to be the best and at the top. Tiger parenting is a form of abuse Chim, my parents backed off when I decided to remain here in the US. So I get it, tiger parenting and abandonment sucks and can cause a lot of pain, but don’t use that pain to hurt others for it especially when you don’t understand the full situation Evan’s gone through. And while you said you don’t talk to your dad, I bet you still have that feeling of pressure on you, to be the best out of you and your brother. And since you’re here and he isn’t. I have a pretty good guess that you feel like you’ve failed, and so you lie to make yourself seem better. You don’t need to, you shouldn’t. If someone can’t accept you for who you really are, then they aren’t worth your time. I told that to my parents. They are proud of what I do now, but in my first year of being a firefighter, well, I wish I hadn’t answered the phone a few dozen times. I got some therapy after a while. Helped me and made me stronger for it,” he told him, “I’ll leave you be, I’m going to check on Evan,” he finished, getting up.

Chimney nodded, “Yeah,” he sighed, head in his hands.

Xiaoli left the room only to see Evan as he walked down the stairs. There was a slight limp, but Xiaoli noted that it wasn’t as bad as he had feared. “Hey,” he called out while jogging over to him, “Cap letting you go home?” he asked him.

Evan nodded, “Yeah, I don’t really want to,” he murmured, giving a one-arm shrug as he headed towards the lockers to change.

Xiaoli followed him, “At least you get to go home early. We still have another three hours,” he mumbled, pretending that he was jealous about him leaving earlier.

Evan looked at him, almost glaring as he said, “You’re just trying to make me feel better about having to leave early.”

“Maybe,” he smiled, knocking his shoulder lightly, frowning when he noticed the subtle flinch. “Evan,” he murmured, looking him over, “Is everything okay? You’ve been a little off.”

“Eddie’s back, how can I be normal?” he asked him, looking over at him.

“I don’t just mean that,” he replied, “I mean, that last couple of days. You’ve been a little… off. You flinch occasionally when I get too close, with the others as well. What’s going on Ev?” he asked gently, wanting to reach out but he could see the almost panicked look in his eyes.

“I…” Evan started and then stopped, shaking his head, “I’m fine,” he blurted out, though Xiaoli could tell that there was something being kept hidden.

Xiaoli looked him over, “Okay, I’ll let it go for now, but I want you to tell me what is going on when you can. You know that you can talk to me about anything,” he reminded him.

Evan gave him a small smile and nodded, “I… I know.”

“Good,” Xiaoli smiled softly, “You and me, we’re brothers, never forget that. When you’re sad so am I,” he reminded him.

“Same goes both ways,” he reminded the older man.

“Best get changed didi, go home, have a shower and call Eddie. I know you must be dying to try and see him and Chris. Just call me if you’re going somewhere, so I know where you are,” he told him.”

“I’m not a kid you know,” Evan snorted as he started to change out of his uniform.

“I know you’re not, but that doesn’t mean I don’t worry,” he smiled at him getting up, “just keep me posted.”

Evan nodded, “I will,” he promised.

Evan let Xiaoli leave before he finished getting dressed. He limped out of the firehouse and towards his jeep. He sat in it for a few moments before he drove back to the apartment that he shared with Xiaoli. Instead of showering straight away, he pulled out Eddie’s letter, reading through it again. Reading the words and seeing the familiar handwriting. The pictures showed that they had carried on without him. But Evan could see that there was something missing in their smiles. He just hoped that it was him that was missing. Taking a deep breath, he looked at the number at the bottom and started to put it into his phone. Saving it under Eddie’s name, he left it, showering and wondering if he could really do this, could he really call him. As he dressed he heard his phone ping.

Don’t hesitate didi, I know you. Call him.

Evan snorted, “Knows me too damn well,” he said as he then pulled up Eddie’s number and began to dial it. It rang once… twice.

“Hello?” came a curious and familiar voice that had Evan giving a little sob, “Evan?”

“Eddie,” his voice shook as he answered.

Chapter Thirty Seven

“Evan, damn, I’ve missed hearing your voice, so much, so much,” Eddie said. His own voice shook just as much as he could tell Evan’s was.

“I’ve missed you Eds,” Evan said, beginning to cry.

“Same, how are you?” he asked, “tell me everything you can?” Eddie was almost demanding in his question. But it was more of a case he needed to know how Evan had been.

“How about… how about we meet?” Evan suggested, “I’m… I’m free for the rest of the day. We could meet and maybe have a late lunch or early dinner?”

Eddie smiled, “I’d like that, how about we make it a late lunch, and a late dinner. Maybe we could have dinner with Chris?” he suggested himself, knowing that if he had seen Evan and Christopher found out, there would be hell to pay for the former army medic.

Evan let out a small sob, “I’ve missed so much, does he… does he really remember me?”

“Yeah,” Eddie answered, “He does, he never forgot you, you’re his papa. Now, suggest a place to meet, and I’ll see you there,”

“Okay,” he said as he gave an address, “It’s a nice little place. Makes good sandwiches and coffee.”

“I’ll meet you there,” Eddie told him, “I love you, Evan,” he finished quietly.

“I love you too, so much,” he murmured back as they hung up.

Eddie grinned at his phone. He sent a message to Shannon that he was going to be meeting Evan. It didn’t take a second before it was ringing again, “Hey,” he said, still happy from hearing Evan’s voice.

“You’re meeting him? Is he okay?” Shannon asked as she began to ask a series of questions.

“He’s okay I think. I’ll know more when I see him. And yeah, at this deli place he knows, I need to get ready. I told him that maybe he could have dinner with us, so he could see Christopher. It might be a little later than normal. But I think if he wants and if Evan is also free, a day off school so they can spend it together would be okay?” Eddie said as he got up and started trying to sort something out to wear. He was nervous, this would be the first time seeing Evan since Christopher’s third birthday.

“Yeah, of course, why don’t you see about taking him out for dinner, Christopher. There are a couple of places around that he would like to go to. And get him from school. You get him, with Evan,” she said, “I think it would be a great idea.”

“Chris would love it, he knows Evan’s here, and he has been asking since we saw him on TV, when he can see Papa,” Eddie murmured as he put the phone down and put it on speaker.

“Then you have your answer, take Evan to pick Christopher up from school,” Shannon smiled, “Spend some time with him. I’m doing nothing much, though I do have a potential new client. So I might be late as well,” she informed him.

“Okay, yeah, sounds good,” Eddie nodded, going to his dresser and pulling out the drawers and started looking through his clothes. “I don’t even know what I should wear,” he muttered to himself. Though it was loud enough for his phone to pick up.

Shannon’s laughter rang out in Eddie’s bedroom. “Ed, really? First date nerves,” she asked him, and Eddie could hear the grin in her voice.

Running his hand through his hair, “No… Yes… damn it, maybe! I just assumed he still wanted me. That he still loves me like I do him. But he did say it, he said he loved me too,” he was beginning to babble as he remembered the very short call. He was nervous about seeing Evan again.

“Maybe that burgundy Henley that you have. The one you got last week,” she advised him, “Oh and those jeans that make your ass look spankable,” she added.

“Shannon, seriously!” Eddie blushed, “Oh god, I’m suddenly remembering what happened when I picked Evan up that day,” he said, as he smiled fondly.

“Well, you were looking to get laid. Didn’t happen for over a week though,” Shannon pointed out.

“Oh shut up,” Eddie muttered.

“Not a chance,” Shannon snickered, “Now, get dressed and make sure you remind that man that you are waiting for him. Because damn, did he bulk up. Could bou-” her voice was cut off before she could say anything more as Eddie ended the call.

“Damn that woman,” he muttered as he went to have a shower before getting dressed.

XxXxX

Eddie walked into the small deli and looked around, he easily spotted Evan, there was no mistaking that face, the eyes, the birthmark. The hair was a little different, and he looked a little more muscular than before, well a lot more. But it was him. He walked over, “Evan,” he called out.

Evan looked up, a watery smile appeared on his face as he saw him. Standing up he stood there for a second. Only a second before Eddie rushed towards him and wrapped his arms around him. “Eddie,” he shuddered, eyes filling with tears.

“Damn, Ev, damn it, I can’t believe you’re back in my arms, I thought… I thought the worst for so long. I thought someone had killed you because we couldn’t find you or anything,” he said, voice shaking as he tried to suppress the emotion he was feeling at having Evan back in his arms for the first time in three years.

“I never thought I would see you again. I’m so damn glad that I was wrong,” Evan choked up.

Eddie slowly let him go, but kept hold of one hand as they sat down, “How are you?”

“I’m… good. Better now,” he said, wiping his eyes, “Sorry, just…”

“A little overwhelmed,” Eddie guessed, getting a nod, “Same here. I’ve missed you so much. I’m done with the Army, never going back. Don’t have a clue as to what I will be doing. But not that. But I’m taking time to recover, if I don’t I think Shannon would kick my ass.”

“How’s she doing? And I’m sorry to hear about Janet,” he told him, “Should we… order?” he asked, glancing around, “I’m a little hungry.”

“Yeah, I’ll go and get us something, you stay here,” Eddie said, getting up and going to do so, “You know… I don’t know if what you liked then is still the same.”

“It is, nothing much has changed. I just have an extra tolerance to spice,” he smiled.

Eddie laughed, “Alright,” he nodded going off to order food. As he did so, he carried on looking back at Evan, making sure that he wasn’t going anywhere. Going back to the table, food ordered, he carried their drinks over to the table.

“Thanks,” he said, sipping the coke, “So…”

“Soo…” Eddie added, “Damn, it’s…” he sighed.

“Don’t even know where to begin really,” Evan said, running his finger on the outside of the glass, picking up the condensation from it, “It feels like it’s been too long,” he murmured.

“It has, but that doesn’t stop us from getting to know each other again,” Eddie pointed out, reaching out and taking a hand, lacing their fingers together, “I love you, that… that’s never going to change.”

“We… we can do that, maybe we should start with what happened between the last time we saw each other maybe?” he suggested, wondering if that would be a good idea.

“Okay,” he nodded, “Do you want to go first?” he asked as a server came over with their food, “Thank you,” he smiled as it was put down in front of them.

“I… don’t mind,” he gave a little shrug as he started to tell Eddie everything. How he traveled around, coming to LA before spending a bit of time with Xiaoli before leaving again. Only to come back and join the fire academy. “What about you?” he asked him.

Eddie sighed, “Well, before Chris turned four I was shot down,” he told him, telling him about leaving the army, the medal he had received. Then about his parents and what happened with them, “The last I heard they had to move because of the problems they were having with vandals at their home. I know Abuela has heard from them, but she doesn’t speak to them much. She said it was to keep an eye on them and make sure that they come nowhere near her grandchildren or anyone else in the family.” He was grinning when he finished, looking at Evan.

Evan finished his food and said, “I don’t know if I should feel sorry for them or not. I know the fear of people harassing you at home.”

“At least they had the option of moving. You didn’t. They moved out of El Paso. You couldn’t do that with Christopher because of them. They had it easy. Which does remind me as well, they had to pay damages to you for what they did. Initially, it was $50,000 but it’s been added to. Shannon ended up suing them in your name. Since you left her with a letter saying she could act on your behalf for legal things,” he snorted. “You didn’t even have to be there, but they had to pay restitution of $75,000. It’s all sitting in an account with your name on it. Gathering a bit of interest as well. Shannon made sure of that. So it’s up to about $180,000 now. I don’t know the actual amount. Oh, and Janet left you some as well, so that was added in. She left a few letters for you. She missed you as well,” Eddie told him.

“I wish I could have seen her again,” Evan sighed sadly as he thought of the woman, he had only been able to see her a few times, when she had managed to get down to El Paso.

“She would have loved to have seen you. Can’t believe you’re here in LA though,” he said, a smile on his face. Though it hadn’t really faded from his face at all, even when telling Evan about the rough patch he, Shannon and Christopher had gone through. “I was thinking. Since school lets out in about two hours, would you like to come with me to pick up Chris?” he asked him, looking hopeful.

“I’d… I’d like that,” Evan said nervously, biting his lip as he looked at Eddie, “Thought there is something else that you need to know about me. I didn’t… It’s not a bad thing. I don’t think so. But when I got here to stay and join the acadamy. Xiaoli was talking about the children that they sometimes come across. Kids whose parents are hurt, or gone. And how fostering happened here. I ended up looking into it. Took me till just before I passed the Academy, but I’m a foster parent. Four weeks ago, we ended up saving a newborn baby girl from a pipe. She had been flushed down it. She survived, but the mother has given up all parental rights. But with what we were seeing. The mother is going to be taken from her parents as well, she’s still a minor. I… went back to the hospital after taking the baby there. And I ended up going back every day. On my days off I stayed there. The social worker started talking to me about her case. She still hadn’t been given a name. I think it was a week after she had been rescued, and she was basically Jane.”

“What did you call her?” Eddie asked, understanding that Evan was taking in this little girl as a foster child.

“Aria, she’s going to be Aria Buckley,” Evan said, “I’m adopting her. Since she might have complications later on because of her birth and what happened. Not many are prepared for that. So, I asked. They are doing final checks, but things are going well enough that next week, I should be able to bring her home. I’m living with Xiaoli at the moment, but his place has been checked, and he actually changed the study into another bedroom. He decided that if I was going to be a foster parent, he would do it as well, to make sure that there would be no problems should I have a placement. So we could have emergency placements that we may come across on the job.”

“You amaze me,” Eddie said, “So am I going to meet your daughter… or is she our daughter?” he then asked. Causing Evan to stare at him.

Chapter Thirty Eight

Evan blinked and shook his head, he didn’t really have to think of his answer. “Ours,” he murmured, “I like the sound of that. But are you really sure you want to do that?” he asked him, “It’s a lot, being a dad again. I’m scared out of my mind that something is going to be wrong, she was born prematurely, and she had a hell of a hard time with things.”

“She did, but she has you in her corner. Just like you were in Christopher’s. Because you pushed things, he was finally diagnosed, he has the help he needs. If something happens with Aria, I’ll be there to be in her corner with you. To make sure that she is getting all that she’ll need,” Eddie promised as he squeezed Evan’s hand.

“Thank you, do you… would you like to meet her? We should be able to get to the hospital and visit for a little bit before picking up Christopher,” he said, getting up a little eager to see his daughter.

“I would,” Eddie agreed, getting up, taking Evan’s hand as they walked out of the deli. He frowned as he saw him limping slightly, “What happened?”

“Just a little bruising, the Jaws of Life were kinda dropped on me. But I’m fine,” he was quick to reassure as they headed to the parking lot.

“Okay,” Eddie nodded, “If you’re sure,” getting a nod in reply. “How about we stop at mine to drop my truck off and we take your jeep?” he suggested.

Evan nodded, being given the address to Eddie’s current home, “Oh, it’s on the way to the hospital,” he smiled.

“That’s good,” he smiled back. They began to separate, only for Evan to turn back and leaned toward him. Eddie did the same, kissing him lightly on the lips. They parted a second before Eddie pulled him closer, this time the kiss was deeper, his hand running up the back of Evan’s neck, making sure he couldn’t go anywhere.

“Wow,” Evan said, a smile on his face as they parted, “I feel like I’m nineteen again and we just walked out of that stupid club and you’re kissing me goodnight.”

Eddie smiled, laughing lightly, “Yeah, right back to the day we met. The second best day of my life, the first being Christopher’s birth,” he told him.

“Second best day of mine as well, and meeting Chris is the first for me too. That kid… he’s so special,” he murmured.

Eddie kissed him again, “He is, just like his papa,” he told him, “Now, let’s get going, I want to meet our daughter.”

Evan laughed and nodded. The two separated and headed to Eddie’s home to drop off his truck. Joining Evan in his jeep the two chatted a little more of what they had been doing since they had last had the chance to be together. Evan was able to get a better spot than usual in the parking lot. Leading the way, he headed for the NeoNatal Unit. With Aria being premature and the circumstances around her birth, they were being careful with her. To make sure she would be okay. Washing up Evan smiled at the nurse that walked toward him.

“Hey Julie, this is Eddie,” Evan said as he gestured to the man beside him.

“Nice to meet you, usually you bring Xiaoli here to see her,” she queried.

“He’s still at work. I thought to bring Eddie as he… he’s my boyfriend, we lost touch for a while. But we’re back together, I just hope that Scott’s okay with that,” he added, biting his lip as he thought of Aria’s social worker.

“He might want to do a check, but it should be fine. You’ve been approved to take her and adopt her. Since the mother has already signed things away, along with the grandparents,” she said as she led the way to where Aria was, “She’s doing well today. Had a good feed, and her stats are up and up, looks like a week and she will be good to go home,” she smiled at him. “You can take her out and hold her of course,” she added as she went over and picked the baby girl up.

Evan smiled as he took her into his arms, “Hey baby girl,” he murmured as her eyes sleepily opened for a moment before Aria yawned and settled in his arms with a huffy but happy sounding sigh.

“She’s beautiful,” Eddie said as he saw the tuff of dark hair that was beginning to appear on her head. He stroked a finger down her face. The sound of his voice and the touch made Aria blink her eyes open and glanced around. “Hey Aria,” he said quietly, letting her hand clasp around his finger, “Such a strong baby girl already aren’t you.”

“That she is,” Julie said, “I’ll leave the two of you alone. Get in contact with Scott and tell him what is going on. He’ll do a check, but if there isn’t anything it should be fine.”

“I have a son, Christopher, he has CP, Evan is his Papa, and I know he’s going to be so excited about being a big brother,” Eddie smiled, glancing up from Aria for just a second.

“Then you’re both more than prepared in case something is wrong,” she smiled, “Press the button if you need me. Or are leaving,” she added as she walked out of the room.

“She is beautiful Evan,” Eddie repeated as he ran his tumble over the tiny knuckles.

“She is,” Evan smiled at him, “Want to hold her?” he asked.

“You sure?” he replied, looking at Evan.

He nodded, “I am, she’s gotta get used to daddy after all. I’m her papa.”

“She’s so much smaller than Christopher was,” he breathed as Evan passed him the baby, settling her in his arms, “So tiny.”

“She was under 4 pounds when she was brought in, she’s now over that. She’s growing well. Making progress,” he said proudly.

“She feels like she is around 5 now,” Eddie murmured.

“She is, they are very happy about that. She lost a little at the beginning, but she started gaining quickly after that. So they are super proud of it. She’s the right weight gain for a newborn. Which they usually put on between one and two pounds a month. She’s put on just over one,” Evan grinned, letting Aria take hold of his finger.

They spent half an hour alone with her before someone walked over to them. “Evan,” he greeted, he was short with dark hair, streaked with some gray.

“Scott, good to see you. I was going to call you,” Evan said, the two men now sitting down and holding Aria.

“Julie saw me and said you had something to tell me?” he asked, looking curiously at the man that was now holding Aria.

“This is my boyfriend. I told you about what happened in El Paso. This is Eddie,” he said, “We got back in touch. We’re going to be trying things again, which is what we both want. I just wanted to make sure that it’s still going to be fine adopting her.”

“Well, there’ll be the usual wait period of course. Can I have your details and such so I can do a check?” he asked.

Eddie nodded, quickly giving the man what he needed, “Is that everything you need from me?” he asked, his attention more on the sleeping baby in his arms.

“It is, things should be just fine. There is a six-month wait for the adoption to go through. But, it should be fine,” he reassured them.

“Thank you,” Evan said, smiling at Scott for a moment before looking back at Eddie holding Aria.

“Welcome, I’ll see you another time, call you when the checks are finished as well,” he grinned before leaving the couple alone again.

Eddie looked up at Evan, “Where did you get the name?” he asked him quietly.

“A little bit from Adriana actually,” he answered, “I just took out the DNA,” he laughed quietly, not wanting to wake Aria up.

“You’re… that’s actually pretty funny and clever, and it’s made such a sweet name,” he shook his head, laughing. Aria gave a murmur at the movement but settled down quickly afterward.

“Adri was someone I talked to every day for a year. She talked about Lucia and Rosa a lot, and after she moved, we carried on. Every night we’d call to tell each other how things were going. To name her for someone I got so close to, that I thought of as a sister, how could I not,” he told him, a gentle smile on his face as he looked at his daughter.

Eddie nodded, looking down at the little baby in his arms, “It suits her well,” he smiled.

Evan took out his phone, taking a photo of the two of them, “There, the only way that picture would be better is if Chris was in it as well.”

“When she comes home, we’ll do that. He’ll be so excited about her,” he said, “Send it to me?” he asked.

“Sure,” he nodded, quickly doing so.

“Can I take one of you with Aria?” he then asked, looking at Evan.

Evan looked up from his phone, “Sure,” he smiled. He took Aria from Eddie and held her, smiling as she woke up to look at him, “hey baby girl,” he murmured, not realizing that Eddie had taken the picture for a few moments.

The two stayed there with her for a little longer, “We’re going to have to leave soon if we want to get to Christopher’s school on time,” Eddie said, a little reluctant to leave her there.

Evan nodded, pressing the button so he could inform the nurses that he was leaving. They had fed her and changed her while they were there as well. Leaving the hospital was hard, they went back to Eddie’s, to change over to his truck since it had Christopher’s car seat in it.

“Do you think he’ll be happy to see me?” Evan asked as he picked at his nails.

“Yes,” Eddie said as he reached over and held his hand for a moment, “He’ll be yelling so loud you won’t be able to hear anything else for a while,” he snorted. “He yelled so loud when he saw you on TV. So loud, he was so happy. His birthday wish was coming true. He wanted to see his Papa and then a week later, there you are. Two weeks after that, he is about to see you in person for the first time since he was little. He will be overjoyed.”

Evan began to calm down at the words, “I have his presents at home. For all three birthdays I’ve missed,” he told him, sighing slightly. “Xiaoli has some for him as well, Christmas too, from both of us,” he told him.

“I have gifts for you, birthday and Christmas ones. I know Chris made a number of drawings for you over the years as well. They are all piled in a box, waiting for you to come home,” Eddie told him.

“Wow, a little artist, the drawings you already sent are amazing, he’s…” Evan stopped, “I have to admit, Eds, I’m scared and nervous,” he told him.

“I know,” he reassured him, “But he loves you so much. Half the time he’ll listen to your recordings, missing you. They helped more than you can imagine. The one that you did for him, for when he had his surgery, he listened to that over and over again after his last one. It helped him so much. That papa is with him all the time, no matter if they aren’t in the same house, that you are both always together.”

Evan smiled and nodded, not trusting his voice. Eddie pulled into a free space and the two of them began to head to the pickup line. It was a few moments later that Christopher started to head toward them.

“He’s walking, oh, he’s…” Evan’s breath hitched as tears gathered in his eyes. This was what they had been working towards, that the surgery Christopher was to help him with his walking later.

Christopher looked up smiling as he saw his dad. His eyes drifted to the side and he screamed out, “PAPA!”

Chapter Thirty Nine

Evan stared at him for a moment before he broke out into a run toward him. Falling to his knees he brought a laughing and squealing Christopher into his arms.

“Papa! Papa!” Christopher yelled, laughing brightly as he hugged him tightly. A few seconds later he began to cry, “I missed you, papa,” he sobbed.

“I missed you too, my bright boy. I missed you so much. I love you so much,” Evan cried, holding him tightly. Neither of them cared about the stares that they were getting.

Eddie tucked away his phone, having got it out just as Christopher had stepped out of the school building. He had recorded the entire reunion, knowing that Shannon would like to see it. Walking over, he bent down and picked up the crutches that Christopher had dropped in favor of hugging his papa. “Come on you two, we should get home,” he said gently, his own voice unsteady at the emotional reunion.

Evan looked up at him, eyes blurry with tears, “Yeah, yeah,” he nodded, standing up, settling Christopher on his hip. He was no longer the toddler that he had once carried around. He was a child, a six-year-old little boy now. He could see some of the differences between then and now how he looked. His hair was curly, reminding Evan of his own if he didn’t cut it short and put a load of gel in it.

Christopher was still clinging to Evan as they reached the truck, “No, don’t let me go, don’t want you to leave again papa, please.

“Mijo,” Eddie began.

“Little Bud,” Evan said softly, “I’m not going anywhere. I’m around. You can always call me or visit me when I’m not working. I’m not going to leave again. I had to leave the last time. To make sure that you were safe. It hurt us both so much, and I love you, I really do. I wish I didn’t have to leave back then. But I’m back now, promise buddy,” he said, holding him tightly for a few moments and trying to get him to sit in his car seat a second time. This time it worked, but he held onto Evan’s hands as Eddie had to buckle him in.

“Mijo, you’re going to have to let Papa go so he can get in the truck,” Eddie pointed out as Christopher wasn’t letting him go.

“But he might leave again daddy, we don’t want him to leave,” Christopher sniffled, no longer sobbing, but tears were still occasionally falling down his face.

“He may have to go home, but he won’t be leaving us like before,” Eddie began and then winced as Christopher began to cry again.

“No, he can’t, he has to stay with us!” Christopher yelled, clinging onto Evan’s hand as tightly as he could.

Evan paused for a moment and with his free hand pulled something from his t-shirt, “Chris, do you remember this?” he asked him.

Christopher looked up, tears streaming from his eyes as he nodded, “You wore it all the time. I liked to play with it,” he answered him, hiccupping.

“You did. I never ever take this off. One this side is you, and on the other is Eddie,” he told him, it looked like a dog tag, but instead of words embossed on it, there was an etching on each side. “Will you do something important for me, and keep it safe for me, until I get it from you again?” he asked him, “I don’t like being without it, as it carries the pictures of my heart.”

“Your heart?” Christopher frowned, “How can it be your heart?”

Evan laughed lightly, “It’s not my heart, the people that it shows are my heart. That’s you and daddy. You’re both a part of me, like I’m part of you. I missed you both so much as well. I thought of you every single day and night. Wishing you both a good night and a good morning and hoping that you had an awesome day,” he told him, a soft smile on his face. “We might not be seeing each other all the time. But I will come again, and you’ll come and see me as well,” he said.

“Promise?” he asked him.

Evan nodded, “I promise.”

“Pinkie promise, you always said pinkie promise,” Christopher stared at him.

“Pinkie promise,” Evan smiled as he held up his pinkie for Christopher to link with. Surprised that Christopher remembered them. Christopher made the promise with him and nodded.

“Okay,” he said, finally letting go of his hand, “you keep that, you can’t leave your heart anywhere papa. It has to stay with you, you need it.”

“Yeah I do, and I need you just as much,” Evan said, kissing his forehead, “Love you, little buddy,” he murmured.

“Love you, papa,” Christopher said, hugging him before letting him go.

Evan rushed around the truck to get into the passenger side and then stopped, instead he hopped into the back seat to sit with Christopher. Eddie snorted, but nodded and smiled at him before turning back and starting up the truck to go home.

XxXxX

Pulling up outside of Eddie’s home. Evan was quick to get out and help Christopher do the same. Eddie just watched the two of them with a smile as he led the way to the front door and into the house.

“Papa, you have to see the box,” Christopher called as he tugged on Evan’s hand, using only one crutch to help him get around, his other hand keeping hold of Evan as he went.

Evan went with him willingly and what followed was a run down of the last three years from Christopher’s point of view. At a later dinner time than normal, they were back in Eddie’s truck and heading to a restaurant that catered mostly to children. A treat for Christopher.

Eddie watched and recorded as Christopher took him around the play area of the restaurant as they waited for their dinner to arrive. “Come on you two!” he called out as their food arrived at the table.

Evan picked Christopher up as walked over. Christopher giggled at the way he had him over his shoulder for a moment, “Well, here’s Superman,” he said as he put him in his chair.

“Yep,” Christopher grinned and laughed.

“Want some ketchup?” Eddie asked as he picked up the bottle, there was no way his kid was going to be saying no. He had it with everything at the moment.

“Yes please daddy,” Christopher clapped as he picked up his fork and stabbed a chicken nugget. Dipping it into the sauce as it was being poured onto his plate.

“Patience buddy,” Eddie shook his head as a dollop of ketchup went onto the nugget.

Christopher just grinned as he took a bite, “But it’s nice fresh out of the bottle,” he said, repeating something he heard.

Evan snorted, “Maybe, but patience is good too,” he reminded him gently, “Dinner looks good though.” He had decided on a simple chicken and mushroom pasta that they had. Eddie decided to go with the pork version of it.

“Okay papa,” he nodded, waiting to dunk the rest of his chicken nugget until Eddie had finished putting the sauce on his plate. “Thank you, daddy,” he grinned before diving straight into it.

Evan smiled at Eddie, feeling at ease as he spent a little more time with the two of them. “Have to say, I forgot how tying it could be playing,” he said mainly to Eddie.

“I took naps when Chris did when I first got back, best way to deal with the lack of energy I had,” he smirked, watching as Evan was quick to catch the sauce that was dripping from the nugget Christopher currently had hold of. “Not like you lost your skills at all,” he pointed out, laughing at the look on Evan’s face.

“I thought I would. You have no idea how scared I am about Aria. Bringing her home,” Evan said.

Christopher looked at Evan, “Papa, who Aria?” he asked him, taking a large bite of his nugget and staring at him and waiting for his answer.

“Well…” he paused, unsure of how to deal with this.

“You know sometimes that a mommy and a daddy can’t take care of their babies. That they have to go away and find new mommies and daddies?” Eddie began.

Christopher nodded, “Millie at school has a new mommy and daddy. She told me she always needed a new mommy and daddy and they chose her to be their daughter,” he grinned.

“Aria is just like Millie, she needed a new mommy or a daddy. In this case, she gets a new papa,” Evan said softly, “She’s-”

“A sister!” Christopher yelled, his arms moving wildly. The nugget on his fork flew off and landed close to another table, “Sorry daddy, papa,” he said as he looked at it, a little pout on his face.

“It’s okay mijo, but try not to do that again. I know it’s exciting,” Eddie said as he got up and quickly picked it up with a napkin, sending an apologizing glance at the family it had landed near. Returning to his table he set it aside to be thrown.

“But if papa is Aria’s papa, that means she’s my sister,” he clapped. The fork was now on his plate as he looked at his dad, “Are you going to be her daddy too?” he asked him.

Eddie nodded, “I would like to.”

“Then you have to be, we’re family. Can mommy be her mommy as well?” he asked the two men.

Eddie and Evan shared a look, “Well, let’s talk with mommy about that first,” Eddie said diplomatically.

“Okay,” he nodded, grabbing his fork and stabbing a few fries this time, dunking them as well, “Can I see her?” he asked before eating them.

“Well, at the moment she’s in the hospital, it’s going to be another week before she can come home. But it should be okay for you to come and see her with me soon,” Evan said, Eddie nodding along in agreement with him.

“Is she hurt?” Christopher looked at them in fear, “She gonna be okay right?”

“Yes, she’s going to be okay, just when she was born she was poorly, and she might have a few problems as well when she gets older too,” Evan told him, smiling, “But she’s gonna have an awesome big brother to watch out for her. So I’ve no doubt she’ll be just fine.”

“I’ll be the best big brother. And I’ll teach her how to use the crutches. It can be really hard at first, but she’ll be okay, I’ll help her,” Christopher said proudly.

The rest of the meal went a little more quietly, with no more nuggets being tossed around by an overly excited Christopher. The hard part came when it was time for Evan to go home. There were tears, a temper tantrum before Evan was able to convince Christopher to go to bed for him. Eddie watched as he read a story to Christopher. The six-year-old was clinging onto him, not wanting to let him go at all and Eddie couldn’t fault him for it either. He didn’t want to let Evan go home at all.

Evan got up from the edge of the bed. Kissing Christopher on the forehead, “Night little bud,” he murmured as he smiled at Eddie.

“I can understand why he doesn’t want to let you go home,” Eddie said as he closed the door and they headed to the living room.

“Yeah,” Evan sighed, “I need to get home.”

“Scared that this is all a dream,” Eddie said as he pulled Evan into his arms and held him tightly.

Evan rested his head on Eddie’s shoulder, “Missed this,” he sighed heavily.

“Same here,” Eddie replied.

The two stood there for a while, just holding each other and sharing the occasional kiss before Evan had to return home. Eddie stood on his doorstep, watching, “Love you,” he called out to him.

Evan turned, hand on the jeep as he smiled, “I love you too. I’ll see you again soon, I have tomorrow off. Twenty-four the next day,” he told him.

“I’ll call you in the morning, or maybe call me. I’m going to keep Christopher off school tomorrow, spend the day together with just the three of us,” Eddie suggested.

“Take him to meet his sister,” Evan added, a smile appearing on his face.

“We’d like that,” he replied, watching as Evan left. Shannon found him sitting on the sofa watching a video on his phone an hour later. Joining him she cooed and squealed as he told her how the day had gone and learned about Aria.

Chapter Forty

Evan sat on the couch in the loft of the 118, his phone in hand as he went through all the pictures he had taken during his day off. He had gone with Eddie to spend an entire day with him and Christopher. Even taking Christopher to spend an hour with Aria. The pictures of Christopher’s awestruck face as he was able to sit in a chair and hold her was a joy to look at. A shadow passed over him, lunch had been over and Chimney had been put on dishwashing duties. It had been two days since their talk. Since Xiaoli had taken him aside. His best friend had told him a little of what he had spoken about, but not much.

“Buck,” Chimney said as he stood there, looking down at him

“Chimney,” Evan said, controlling the tone of his voice.

Chimney sighed as he went to a chair and flopped down in it, “Look, I know what… that day looked like. I know I got hung up on something I shouldn’t have. Xiaoli, he talked to me, had to remind me of something as well. He took the time to get me to think. To think of what you’ve been through and why you had to do things. I focused on you leaving your son when I should have listened to the why.”

“You should, you have no idea how much it hurt to be away from him for the last three years. I’ve missed so much Chim, so much that I’ll never be able to get back,” Evan said as he looked down at his phone. “Eddie, Eddie sent me a number of pictures and videos that he and Shannon made and had saved for me. But it’s not the same as being there when he started to walk, when he had his surgeries. Teaching him to read, to write, his math, everything. All those firsts that I missed. Including his first day at school.”

“I’m sorry, for the things I said,” Chimney said awkwardly, “I…” he sighed and looked away. “My dad and I, we don’t get on, haven’t done this since I was a child. We moved here from Seoul when I was little. My mother loved it here. Really loved it here when it was time to go back. My mother refused and stayed here, keeping me with her. My father wasn’t happy as you can imagine. His wife and child refusing to return home with him, he left us alone and barely sent any money to support us. Mom became ill when I was a teen, she passed away. I was taken in by her best friend and her husband. My best friend became my brother overnight. I miss her a lot. My dad soon moved on, marrying a few weeks later. My mother hadn’t even been gone two months when he married. Expecting me to just go back and support him. I couldn’t. Then as I got a little older, an adult, my father stopped reaching out, I had a brother that he was more focused on.”

Evan looked at him, “I wouldn’t have been able to do that either,” he admitted, “Being there for someone that had abandoned me like that.”

“You didn’t abandon your son because you wanted to move on. You had to leave him behind to protect him. I think I’ve talked with Xiaoli more these last two days than I have done in most of the time he’s been at this station,” he snorted, looking at the young man, “He’s…” he trailed off, trying to find the words to describe him.

“A force of nature that will make you listen even when you really don’t want to. How do you think I ended up in LA, as a firefighter? I was going to be a teacher, Chim. This is as far from teaching 7 and 8 year olds as you can get,” Evan snorted, shaking his head.

“Dad wanted me to go into business, become a lawyer or doctor. One of those is an acceptable career for a Han, being a firefighter, he hates it. Hates that his son is someone so low on the rungs,” Chimney said as he ran his hand through his hair, “I just wanted to do something I could be good at. When… when the bar burned down and I helped. I found what I wanted to do, and then I ended up taking the paramedic side of things. Not a doctor, but still…” he shrugged.

“You’re amazing, don’t let him hold you down. A dad needs to make sure that their kid can fly, no matter what gets in the way. A dad… we’re to be there, to help, to love and cherish and help them grow up to be the best person they can be. Accept them the way they are,” Evan murmured, “I tried all I could to be that for Chris. Eddie was in Afghanistan, and with Shannon, she never really wanted to be a mother at all. She still doesn’t. But she does love her son enough to be there for him as well. Even if she isn’t a full-time parent like Eddie is, and I was.”

“She’s still there,” Chimney pointed out, “That’s more than some.”

“I know,” Evan smiled slightly.

“I had Bobby cook for me yesterday,” Chimney admitted, “I told her it wasn’t me that cooked. She… she didn’t really say anything about that.”

“Chim, you gotta tell her the truth. Just tell her, get it over with. If she stays with you, then maybe you can build things better with the truth than with lies. It’s no foundation for a relationship. Abby… she wanted to see about meeting and getting to know me. I know what she was after. But I told her, that’s not what I want. That I’m in love with Eddie. Eddie and I, we’ve been laying everything out, everything that has happened to us in the last three years we’ve laid out. Talked about it to come to terms with the fact that we have been apart for a long time. We’re no longer in sync like we were,” Evan slumped where he sat, leaning his head back and staring at the rafters.

“At least you’re making the effort,” Chimney said, still feeling bad about what he had done, he had been so hung up on Evan leaving his kid, that for a while all he saw was red. The day between, and Xiaoli grabbing him on their day off for a while had helped a bit.

“Christopher is worth it, he’s amazing, Chim, really. He’s such a bright soul. You can’t help but smile and be happy around him. I spent all of yesterday with him. Being called papa again,” Evan began, sniffling a little, going back to looking at his phone screen, a picture of Christopher and Aria staring at him. “I didn’t think I would hear it again.”

Chimney looked at him, keeping in mind some of the things that Xiaoli had told him. The phone in his hand that he was staring at. “You have pics of your kid?” he asked him.

Evan glanced up and nodded, “Yeah,” he murmured.

Chimney got up and went over, sitting next to him, and seeing the two children. “Who’s the baby? One of his cousins?” he asked.

Evan shook his head, “Do you… do you remember the baby in the pipe?” he asked, he hadn’t told anyone but Bobby and Xiaoli about what he was doing. Xiaoli had been very supportive. Bobby had taken the time to talk him through it before he had started to help.

“Yeah,” he frowned, “That’s her?”

“Yep. I’m in the middle of trying to adopt her. Chris loves the fact that he’s going to have a sister. Eddie… Eddie’s smitten. He plans to visit while I’m at work today. Scott, her caseworker, has cleared him, so he’s fine to visit alone like I am. Though,” he sighed, “He’s talking about what we need to do, to get things ready. At the moment I still live with Xiaoli. We’re both registered foster parents, so we can sometimes take on the children that we come across temporarily. Eddie has been talking about doing the same. And maybe finding our own place. Though-” he hummed, looking away for a second.

“Though what? I thought you loved this guy, so moving in,” he gestured, frowning at him. “That’s what you’ve been saying since last shift. That you two were so in love and close.”

“But it’s also been three years. We’ve both changed and had things happen. As I said, we’ve got to learn about each other again. Aria and I will be staying with Xiaoli still while we start that. Maybe in a few weeks, we’ll have that reconnect that we’re looking for. Or it might be that too much time has passed.” There was a tremble in his voice.

“No, I don’t think that’s going to happen. You are still smitten, it’s written all over your face,” Chimney snorted, looking a little jealous, “I don’t feel that with Tatiana.”

Evan looked at him, “When you find someone you want to spend the rest of your life with. Which I really do want to do with Eddie, I felt lost and alone and so done with life not knowing if I would see him again. I kept going in the hope that I would. And now I have, that old fear, one that I lost, is coming back,” he said, wiping away a tear, “that I’m not good enough. That I’ll be a burden or something that will tear things apart again.”

“Buck,” Chimney said, “. You talk about him like he is your world, you talked about Christopher like he’s your world as well. And that’s only in the last two shifts. I’ve seen a genuine smile on your face. I’ve never seen that before. I thought the grin you wore was your smile, but it wasn’t. I’m sorry, I’m sorry if I had any part of what you feel now. I just… knowing my dad didn’t want anything to do with me unless I followed his rules. Even leaving and having nothing to say to my mom and not caring when she got sick. It hurt so much, more than I thought. And it’s bled over to everything in my life. That pressure to conform, to achieve, and Xiaoli had to point it out to me,” he snorted, shaking his head, “You have a good thing, don’t do what I do, and self-sabotage. I think tonight when I see Tatiana, I’m going to tell her the truth. We’ll see what happens.”

“If you need me, or need to talk, you have my number,” Evan told him, “I know that things are a little strained between us.”

“Yeah, I know, but Buck, you-” he sighed, “Look, let’s be real, I was a fucking shit, I know. I got stuck and now I’m not, now I’m thinking clearly. And I will, if I need you or anyone I’ll reach out, I promise,” Chimney sounded sincere as he looked at Evan.

Evan looked at him and waited a few moments before he replied. “It hurt, it hurt to think that you thought that of me. That I would voluntarily leave my son. I wish I hadn’t had to. I love him so much, and I love Eddie as well, and being away from them caused me more pain than you can imagine.” Closing his eyes he pushed aside all the confusion he was feeling and thought about what he wanted. “I want Eddie and Chris in my life,” he muttered, “And I know we have some work to do to get there once again.”

“So you’re prepared for that?” Chimney asked him, getting up and glancing down at him.

“I am,” he nodded, getting up himself as the two headed into the kitchen area to get a snack, “I don’t want to lose them, so we need to get our shit together,” he said decisively.

“Good,” Chimney snorted, shaking his head as he raided the fridge, stepping aside to let Evan do the same. Moments after they finished their snacks the alarm rang out.

Chapter Forty One

Evan was sitting in his room. He had one more day before Aria would be allowed out of the hospital and he was scared. He had everything set up. Xiaoli helped him get things ready in their apartment. Eddie and Chris had been coming and going as well, helping him set things up. Christopher was still sad that they weren’t all living together. Eddie was coming over, without Christopher, since he was back at school, Buck was taking two weeks off after bringing Aria home, wanting to get her settled, Xiaoli and he had been searching for someone to take her when he went back.

Evan jolted as he heard the front door open. Eddie had been given a key by Xiaoli the day before and told to let himself in when he came over. He stood up and walked out of his room, smiling slightly when Eddie closed the door behind him and walked over to him. “Eddie,” he said, voice shaking slightly.

Eddie looked at him, wrapped his arms around him, and held him, “What’s going on in that head of yours?” he asked him gently, “Something’s going on.”

Evan jerked a little and moved out of his arms, “I… I cheated on you, it was my fault. I should have said no, I should have left, but I… I couldn’t lose everything again. Not the job or Aria, and she said… she said she would…” he began to babble, shaking his head as he moved away from Eddie.

“Evan,” Eddie’s voice was calm as he stepped towards him, reaching out, only to let his arm drop when Evan jerked away from him and sobbed.

“I sho-” he carried on, mostly talking to himself as he wrapped his arms around himself.

Eddie took a second and walked over, ignoring the way that Evan jerked away from him and pulled him into his arms, “It’s okay Evan, it’s okay. I’ve got you and I’m not going anywhere,” he murmured, hoping that the other was hearing his words. The jumble of words that were coming from Evan was worrying him. The things he was saying. Eddie carried on murmuring, slowly Evan began to calm, arms falling from himself and wrapping around Eddie. “You with me again?” he asked him gently.

“I- I’m sorry,” Evan gasped out, trying to move from Eddie’s arms.

“No, not going anywhere, let’s sit down and then slowly tell me what is going on,” Eddie said as he guided over to the couch and sat them down. Evan’s face was wet with tears, eyes red.

“I-”

“Slow and steady,” Eddie said, “At the beginning,” he murmured, as he pulled Buck to his chest, arms around him so he could speak without seeing him. It was the best way to get him to talk about what was going on in his head. Letting him know he wasn’t alone, without having to see anyone’s reaction to his words.

“I lost him, Devon, the kid from the roller-coaster. He just let go and I… I wasn’t handling it well. Xiaoli got me into therapy when I first came here. So when… When Bobby told me to see someone I decided to do so. I saw someone that is part of the department, so they know what we go through, can help us better,” he murmured, clinging onto the arm that was across his chest.

“That’s good, I know it hurt you a lot, losing him,” Eddie murmured, pressing a kiss to the blond hair.

“Dr… Dr Wells, she wasn’t like my last one,” he told him, “She made me, and said that if I didn’t then she would say I was unfit, not only for my job but that I shouldn’t have Aria. She knew about Aria, and I couldn’t lose everything again. It hurt so much last time, so I slept with her. I didn’t really want it, I didn’t, honestly,” he began to fret as Eddie remained quiet.

Eddie seethed as he listened to Evan. “Evan,” he began, calming himself from the rage that was bubbling beneath the surface. “Evan, you need to report her, you have to do so. She took advantage of you and that’s illegal, you need to make sure she doesn’t get away with it. She hurt you Evan, and that’s wrong on so many levels,” he told him, rocking him slightly as he felt Evan break down into tears again.

“I can’t Eddie, I can’t, what if she… she says that. She tells someone that it was me, they’ll believe her, they would. I’m not… they… she…” Evan began and couldn’t finish, his words becoming jumbled up in his head that he couldn’t get them out.

Eddie moved him around so that they were facing each other on the couch. Putting his hands on either side of Evan’s face he said, “Listen to me, she has violated you, she disregarded the law to do what she did. Evan she… she raped you,” he said quietly.

Evan shook his head, “NO, no!” he yelled, pulling himself away. He went to jump off the couch but didn’t get far and Eddie grabbed him and pulled him close.

“It’s okay Ev, I have you, I’m right here,” he said, rubbing his back.

Evan began to sob, “It.. no…” he muttered, over and over again as he clung to Eddie.

“It’s going to be okay,” he said, unsure if he was even saying the right things, “We’ll get through this, and we’ll be stronger for it,” he told him, hoping his words would offer some reassurance that he would be there for him, that he wouldn’t leave him..

Evan cried for a while longer before his sobs began to ease, “I don’t know what I should do.”

“You need to report it, make sure she doesn’t get away with it. Make sure that she can’t do it to anyone else,” he murmured into his ear, “I’ll be right beside you.”

Eddie settled back on the couch and let Evan lean against him, the man falling to sleep in his arms. Eddie messaged Shannon asking her if she would be able to get Christopher. That something had come up with Evan that he needed to be there for. Sighing in relief when the message came back that she could, he closed his eyes and let himself drift, waiting for Evan to wake up again.

XxXxX

Eddie and Evan cleaned up and set about making themselves something to drink an hour after they had woken up. Xiaoli was on an overnight shift for C-Shift, so the man wouldn’t be back until tomorrow morning. They had talked a little more about what had happened, now that Evan had told him, he felt like he could face it with Eddie beside him. “I was thinking about what we’re you doing with Aria when you go back to work?” Eddie said, grateful that there was something else they could talk about. He could see that Evan was beginning to withdraw from him after telling him.

“Well, I have two weeks off to make sure we can get a schedule going for her. Xiaoli and I have been looking at people that could look after her, people that would be approved. But I’ve not found anyone that I feel comfortable with yet,” Evan sighed, “I have two weeks Eds, and I am about ready to tear my hair out.”

Eddie chuckled, “Well, leave your hair alone, I like it,” he told him, smiling as he ran his finger through it before giving the ends a small tug. “Now, I’m not really doing much of anything at the moment. Recovery has gone well, I do work a few times a week, but nothing too much as I’m trying to figure out what I want to do now. Shannon told me to take some time. I was going to be career military for a while, and then Chris… Well, I hadn’t even thought of anything but going into construction for a while, since that’s what Ramon did. But now, I don’t want to follow him, so take the time,” he over-explained as he tried to say something.

“Eddie, spit it out,” Evan said, a slightly amused look on his face.

“Well, when you go back to work, on the days I’m not working, why don’t I look after Aria,” he suggested.

Evan paused and looked at him, “That… that would be good, I know you work, so we’d still have to find someone between times for her.”

“There are day-cares around that Scott listed, some are close by as well, even Abuela would love to have her, she’s getting another great-granddaughter, she’s so happy about that,” Eddie smiled at him, “So what about that?”

“That… that should be okay, maybe Abuela can have her sometimes, she doesn’t need to watch her all the time,” Evan said, not wanting to let the woman shoulder everything.

“That’s what having family means Evan,” he smiled, “Now, Abuela wants us to have dinner with her tonight,” he reminded him, they had planned it while Evan had been on shift.

“Okay,” he nodded, making his way back over to the couch, tea in hand. Xiaoli wasn’t a fan of coffee, so he had a wide selection of teas in the apartment.

“She was happy to learn that you’re here,” Eddie told him, “So dinner tonight with her and Pepa. She’s already planning on bringing down Adriana and Sophia, both of them are wanting to see you now that we’re in touch again. Which reminds me,” he muttered, putting down his mug and grabbing his phone, “here,” he said, when seconds later Evan’s phone pings. “That’s Adriana’s phone number, she wants you to call her as soon as you can, or at least text, so she can call you.”

“I’ll text her later,” Evan said, a little smile appearing on his face as he thought of the woman.

“She’s missed you, the two of you talked near each other every night according to what Shannon told me,” Eddie gave a small snort.

“We did, she was so excited when she learned about the twins, they are what, three, four now?” he frowned.

“They will be four soon, another couple of months. Sophia has a baby boy, he’s two and a half, and Adriana has a son as well now, he’s one,” Eddie told him, “I’ll get some pictures together, but I think Adriana wants to show you herself, her and Antonio are planning to come down next week, since Abuela wants to have a family get together to welcome you back,” he finished, reaching out a hand and talking it as they settled down on the couch again, leaning a little closer together again.

“It would be nice to see them again and catch up. I’ve missed them both, talking to them, especially Adriana,” Evan murmured, resting his head against Eddie’s shoulder.

Wrapping an arm around his waist, Eddie pulled him closer, “So, tomorrow, you’ll be picking up Aria?” he asked.

“Hm,” Evan hummed, “Yeah, I have everything I need, just… I’m half scared, half excited.”

Eddie laughed, “Was like that when we were bringing Christopher home that first night. Scared out of our minds that we’d do something wrong, that something would happen and we’d lose him,” he kissed Evan’s head, “It’s going to be just fine, you raised Christopher from when he was a baby. No doubt you’ll do fine with Aria as well. I’m the one that should be scared, I was only around Chris for a month at a time.”

“Yeah, he was a sweetheart as a baby,” Evan smiled, remembering the days that he would have Christopher to himself, playing and reading to him, enjoying hearing the little gurgles and coos he made when he was happy. “Well we’re about to do it all again,” he said, looking at Eddie.

“We are, and while this time I’m going to be around a lot more, we’re still not going to be living together yet,” Eddie said, his smile becoming more melancholy.

“Maybe,” Evan began, “maybe in a month we’ll see about starting to look for a place, for the four of us. No doubt Shannon wants her own place again.”

“She does, though she will demand to have Aria and Christopher overnight occasionally. She’s already spoken to Scott about it, and it’s fine,” Eddie grinned at Evan’s surprised look. “She said that if she’s going to be a mom to Chris, she’s going to be the same for Aria, and she can’t wait to meet her daughter. Oh, and she loves the name as well.”

Evan laughed lightly, “So do I.” He yawned, still a little tired from earlier.

“Let’s have a nap before we have to go and see Abuela, Chris should be there as well, and Shannon,” Eddie said, putting aside his empty mug, and taking Evan’s. “Come on,” he murmured, pulling him to his feet and the two made their way to Evan’s room for a small nap before they would head to dinner.

Chapter Forty Two

Evan checked the car seat once more. Eddie watched him with a smile on his face. The two of them had just finished with the doctors and the hospital. Though there were going to be weekly checks for Aria, for now, she was going to be coming home. Evan’s two weeks off started now and he was going to be using that time to get used to having her around, the fact that his life was going to be changing once more, but there was a large smile on his face as he finished his checks and turned towards Eddie.

“Are we ready to get the little princess home?” Eddie asked him, smiling still.

“Yeah,” he grinned, a nervous laugh being let loose as he went over and sat in the passenger side of the truck. They were using Eddie’s truck to get back. Evan’s jeep was going to be put away in storage, the man didn’t want to part from something that had led him to his future. He was already looking at a new vehicle that would be safer to have with Aria and Chris.

“Then,” Eddie said as he started to get in, “Let’s get her home,” he said, checking back at her before belting up and heading to Evan’s apartment.

Arriving home had Evan excited as he jumped out of the truck as he went to get Aria from her car seat. Xiaoli had been annoyed a little as he found out that when she was coming home, he would be working a shift. “Here we are sweetheart,” Evan murmured as he took her out of the seat, “We’re home,” he told her, walking towards the apartment building.

“The first of many days to come,” Eddie said as he got out and picked up the bags that had some of the things Aria had at the hospital, mostly clothing, blankets and a few other things. The bags of milk that they had for her were already at the apartment. A few bottles had been done up and ready for her. Evan hadn’t been able to keep still before they could go and get her, instead he had prepared as much as he could for her arrival home.

Evan smiled over at him, and laughed happily, “Yeah,” he agreed as he entered the building and went up to the second floor.

Eddie went in front and opened the door for them. Evan walked inside and Eddie followed.

“Welcome home Aria,” Evan said, his voice choked full of emotion as he looked at her, “Is Christopher at school?” he asked since it was a Tuesday.

“He is,” Eddie answered, “Though he already wants to come straight here to see his sister, and to welcome her home. He’s still annoyed that we’re not living together yet, but has been mollified for now,” he snorted, remembering the pout and slight tantrum Christopher had when Eddie had told him no, to them living with Evan just yet.

“I welcome him to come here and see his sister,” Evan said as he walked around the apartment and started to show Aria her new home. “No more hospitals,” he said, hoping that would be true.

Eddie put the bags down and watched his boyfriend as he walked around, talking to Aria as he went. He pulled out his phone, taking a short video and a few pictures. He would show them to Shannon later; she had only been able to see pictures of the baby girl so far. The woman was wanting to visit and see the little girl that may just call her mom like Christopher did one day.

“Eds,” Evan said as he walked back over to him, “here, hold her, I’ll go and sort out a bottle,” he said as Aria had begun to cry. She had been changed at the hospital but hadn’t been fed yet.

Eddie looked down at the baby girl, her eyes were still that newborn blue and he wondered if they would stay that way or would they change. Christopher had remained a blue color, a little darker than they had been at birth, but still a beautiful blue. His hair was so much like Evan’s curls, but a light brown instead of the darkish blond tone that the man had. “Welcome home, Mija,” he said, kissing her forehead. She was still crying, but it was softer as he began to talk to her, rocking her gently. He felt a pang in his heart as he thought of missing all this with Christopher. There had been so many things he had missed out on, he didn’t want to do the same thing again. He looked up as Evan returned with a bottle, handing it over to him to feed her. Settling down in the living room, Evan sat beside him, leaning his head on his shoulder as he watched his daughter being fed by her dad.

XxXxX

Aria was settled in Isabel’s arms. As soon as Evan had walked through the door of the woman’s home, she had taken the little girl from her papa and cradled her like a precious jewel, as Isabel had done with all her grandchildren and great-grandchildren.

“I don’t think you’re going to be getting her back anytime soon,” a voice said from behind him as Evan stood in the middle of the living room.

Evan turned around and joy spread over his face, “Adri,” he said, as he couldn’t help but hug the woman in front of him.

Adriana hugged him just as tightly, “Ev, I’m so happy to see you again, phone calls are just not enough,” she murmured, “So happy that you’re back, we’ve all missed you so much. You’re a Diaz, you might not wear the name yet, but one day you will, but you’re already part of this family.

“Missed you too, and everyone,” Evan said as he slowly let her go, “hear you had a little boy and so does Sophia,” he added, smiling as he saw her eyes light up even more.

“I do, his name is Alexander,” she smiled, “He’s one now.”

“Little Alex,” he grinned.

“Alexander Evan Perez,” Adriana told him, giving him the full name of her son.

“E… Evan?” he blinked, eyes going wide as he took a step back, “Why?”

“Because I wanted him to have something of you, you helped me so much with Rose and Lucia when they were first born, you are their godfather. I couldn’t ask you as you weren’t here when he was born. So, we didn’t name anyone other than Eddie and Sophia. We were waiting for you to return, and Antonio, he suggested Evan as a middle name, as he knew, like I do, that you would do everything to protect him if you could,” she smiled at him softly, answering the why, “you are their uncle, and that will never change.”

“I…” he paused for a moment, “Thank you, I would love to meet him.”

“Just as I would love to meet my niece, but I don’t think Abuela is going to be letting her go during this visit,” she smiled, linking her arm with his and pulling him out into the garden where the rest of the family were.

Evan waved at Sophia who was standing with her partner. “A kid for Soph?” he asked, knowing a little of what had been going on, but not everything.

“Sophia and Mark broke up fully. She has full custody. They did try to make it work, but they are better as friends and co-parents,” Adriana told him, “Mark is fine with Manuel, they get along well, which is good. The two take little Elias out together most of the time, fun days out for boys only, are their words. Sophia often calls to complain,” she smiled as she introduced a few more members of the family that hadn’t been able to meet Evan before he had been forced to leave.

“I’ve missed so much, and in other ways so many things have remained the same,” Evan said as he was suddenly hugged by Sophia who, as soon as she spotted him being walked around by Adriana, had run over to hug him. “Hello to you too Soph,” he laughed as he turned around so he could give the woman a proper hug.

“Evan, so good to see you, now at least Eds will stop moping around,” Sophia grinned as she let him go, “Damn, you grew up well didn’t you,” she said, squeezing a bicep.

“That comes with being a firefighter,” Evan told her. He heard a familiar cry and looked around, seeing Isabel walking out of the house, Aria in her arms. He went over, “She okay?” he asked, a little nervous.

“Missing her papa,” Isabel said, as she finally handed his daughter back to her.

“Right,” he murmured, beginning to rock her in his arms, he started to softly sing to her, helping her calm down. He stumbled a little when he felt a little someone lean against his leg. He looked down to see Christopher had now attached himself to him.

“You sang that to me when I was little too,” he murmured.

“I did,” Evan told him, a soft smile on his lips as he reached down and ran his finger through Christopher’s curls.

“I missed you, papa, never go away again,” he said as he looked up at him.

Evan knelt down, being careful with Aria in his arms, “I never wanted to go away, but I had to do it to keep you safe,” he said, pulling him close with his free arm and holding him, “And I missed you as well.” He placed a kiss on his curls, getting a little giggle from the six-year-old.

“Well,” Isabel said as she looked at her gathered family, “I’m so happy to see a lot of you were able to come here and welcome Evan back to the family and to welcome the new addition to the Diaz family, Aria,” she smiled as she looked at Evan, kneeling beside Christopher.

“Food is ready to be brought out,” Josephina called out as she stood behind her mother, “Come and help me bring it out, Eddie, Manuel, Antonio, you boys help me bring everything out. Adriana, Sophia, go and sort out the tables, Valeria, you do the same. Caleb, help bring out extra chairs.” She told two of her children, and then looked at her two youngest, “Isaac and Milo, look after the children, and see if you can find that father of yours,” she muttered, her husband was somewhere around. Knowing the man, he was in her mother’s garage tinkering with the old car that had belonged to her father.

Isabel’s grandchildren went about their given tasks. The great grandchildren either stayed with Evan as he now sat on the grass feeding Aria, or played with Isaac, as Milo went searching for his father, Damian. It didn’t take long for the long tables in the Diaz backyard to be full to bursting with food. Aria had needed a quick change after being fed and was now sleeping peacefully in the Moses basket that Isabel had set out for her to use, nicely shaded from the sun above.

Evan smiled as Damian finally joined them. The man was covered in grease from the engine.

“Go and wash up!” Josephina yelled at her husband, shaking her head as she went after him, to make sure that he didn’t track any of it into her mother’s home.

“Papa really never learns,” Milo laughed, shaking his head as he sent his only daughter to the kid’s table with her four brothers.

“The day Papa learns will be the day Mama dies of shock,” Valeria snorted, rolling her eyes as she gave her teenage son a look, reminding him that since he was the eldest of the children he was in charge.

“True,” Isaac laughed, as his parents came back out and joined them at the table. Food was passed around as they took what they wanted. Evan sighed and smiled as he felt right at home with them all. It was a good welcome back meal, along with a way to introduce the newest Diaz, even though for now she would remain a Buckley.

Chapter Forty Three

Evan smiled as he finished changing Aria into a nice little dress. It was one that Isabel had gifted to him at the dinner a couple of days ago. He had received a number of them from the Diaz family. The crib that was now in his room where Aria would sleep was hand carved. It wasn’t the car that Damian was working on, but the crib, making sure it was ready. Then pretending to be tinkering with the car and coming in all greasy. It was beautiful, with flowers carved into the sturdy oak.

“Well, are you ready to see the rest of the family?” he asked her as he picked her up, putting on a little sun hat, though it would no doubt be off soon enough.

Aria waved her arms around, making a few noises before calming as she settled against Evan’s chest. Eddie was working at the garage today, and Christopher was at school. So, Evan had decided it was time to let the rest of the 118 meet his daughter for the first time. He wished that he had Christopher as well, as he would love to show the six-year-old around the station, but he hadn’t been able to manage it yet. Though it had only been two weeks since Eddie had walked back into his life, it felt like much longer if Evan was honest with himself.

“You know Aria, your papa is still head over heels for your dad. We’re starting to fall back into the ease that we had when your brother was a baby,” he said as he picked up the bag that he had already packed away, ready for him to leave.

Evan headed out of the apartment and to the car he now owned. It was a nice one, a seat already in it for Christopher as well as Aria’s car seat. The drive to the 118 took a little longer than he hoped. Aria was getting slightly cranky and was getting a bit more vocal. “It’s okay sweetheart, we’re there,” he said as soon as he had been able to park. He got out, grabbing the bag and shouldering it, before getting her out of the car seat. He looked at the fire station, he missed being out there with them. The trucks were still in the bay and as he walked through he could smell something delicious.

“Hello!” he called out as he headed up towards the loft.

“Buck,” Bobby greeted him as he looked over the railing and watched him come up, “Good to see you, and this must be your little girl,” he added as he caught sight of the carrier.

“Yep,” he grinned, “Hope you don’t mind me stopping by, I’m going a little crazy inside today,” he added as he looked around. He could see Xiaoli getting up and rushing over.

“Hand over my zhinu,” Xiaoli said, making grabby hands.

Evan laughed and let him take her, “And you’ve lost your chance to hold her.”

Bobby nodded, “Joining us for lunch?” he asked as he led the way over to the table, food already on it and waiting to be eaten as the crew gathered.

“If you don’t mind,” he said as he sat down next to Xiaoli, who still held his daughter in his arms, “Are you going to let anyone else say hello to her?” he asked his best friend.

“Maybe,” Xiaoli smirked at him, “I don’t get cuddles as often as I thought I would since I live with you. You’re always with Eddie, and he demands Aria cuddles as well. And let’s not forget about Christopher, who wants nothing more than to sit on the couch with his baby sister in his arms.”

“Well, that’s dad and big brother privileges, which sorry to say beats uncle,” Evan teased him, laughing.

Hen walked over and hovered, “She is beautiful, Buck,” she smiled down as Aria, “Aria is a very pretty name as well.”

“It’s kind of a nod to Eddie’s oldest sister. She was there a lot while Eddie was on deployment. We talked every night, either in person while she was living in El Paso, or on the phone when she moved. So I called her Aria, his sister’s name is Adriana. I just took out the DNA,” he said with a little smirk playing on his face.

Hen chuckled, “Nice, and a very pretty name in the end as well.”

“I was going to try and see her, when I went to Florida for a while but changed my mind when I got closer,” he said, wondering if anything would have changed had he gone to her. He had a feeling so much would have changed. And he might not be a firefighter, he might not even have Aria, and he wouldn’t want to change for the world.

They all began to eat. This time Bobby had taken Aria, rocking her gently as he ate one-handed. “A week of leave left,” he said between bites, “Will you be wanting to have longer? You can have another two weeks if you want?” he suggested lightly.

“No, I think we’re going to try and get Aria used to being with Eddie and Carla, while I’m on shift. The longer I’m going to be off, the more I won’t want to come back,” Evan sighed, “I did that with Chris, was home all the time. The only time I wasn’t was when I was at college. It was so hard to go to full-time work as he got a little older. So scared to leave him alone most of the time. And I think Eddie is looking forward to being the one that is going to be home most of the time.”

“Okay, well, a week,” Bobby smiled, “We’ll have you back for a twelve-hour shift the first time, and then the next will be the full twenty-four. Before you say anything about it being only a half shift, I want to point out that the first time you’re going to be leaving her for more than a little while, and yes, I know you did while she was in the hospital. But this is going to feel a lot different.”

Evan nodded, “Yeah, I didn’t like leaving Chris for long either. Felt bad each time I had to go to lectures,” he murmured.

Lunch was finished and clean-up had begun when the alarm rang out. Aria screamed at the noise, waking her from her sleep. Evan quickly took her from Hen.

“Chim, you’re man behind!” Bobby told the paramedic as the rest of them headed off.

Chimney carried on cleaning up as Evan tried to calm Aria down. It took a while, but she was soon just hiccupping on his shoulder.

“Remind me to find something to put over her ears when we come here again,” Evan said, relieved that she had settled again.

“I’ll see what I can find for her,” Chimney said as he put the last dish into the dishwasher, “I would say I bet you’re glad you don’t have to do all the cleaning as man behind,” he added, “But you look tired.”

“I am a little,” Evan answered him honestly, “Being a parent is being tired all the time. No doubt Hen felt the same when Denny was little. I was when Chris was little as well. He had so much energy, wanting to do things all the time. When I wasn’t working I was keeping house, and when I wasn’t doing that I was playing with Chris. My few hours alone were dedicated to studying. It’s hard, harder than anything, but worth it,” he finished as he glanced down at the now settled Aria, her eyes were a little red still.

“She is beautiful, Buck,” Chimney smiled as he walked over and looked down at the baby girl.

“Want to hold her?” Evan asked him, looking at the man.

“You sure?” he asked, looking a little nervous at the thought.

Evan nodded and got up from the chair he had been sitting on and handed over a calm Aria. “There you go,” he said, smiling at the older man.

“Hey, Aria,” he murmured, smiling down at her, “She really is pretty. Do you think she’s going to keep the blue eyes?” he asked.

“I don’t know. Eddie’s hoping so, so is Chris. I only want her to be happy and healthy,” he shrugged, having no preference.

“I broke up with her,” Chimney said after a few minutes of silence between them, “I told her about me, the real me and she left. Just took her things and walked out. I wanted to be angry that you were right, that she wasn’t there for me, but for what I pretended to be. It hurt too,” he said, taking a breath.

“I’m sorry, I was hoping that it would be different,” Evan said, wanting to console the other man.

Chimney shook his head, “I’ve been talking to my therapist about it, we’ve been meeting for the last week and a bit, since we had that confrontation, three meetings and it’s making me think; so is Xiaoli. Damn, so much has changed in such a short time, Buck. The person I thought I was, I’m not, and it’s been shoved in my face,” he snorted, shaking his head, “It feels so much longer, like maybe two months, or more.”

“It does feel like things have happened so fast, and it has,” Evan agreed, “One minute I think I’m going to be a single father, and then the love of my life walks back into it and in two weeks, it feels like we’ve never been apart. I have my son back, a little more grown-up now, but he’s back. Eddie’s back, and so is Shannon, and everyone. I have my family back. Because that is what they have been for me, my family. I never really thought I would have it again.”

“Don’t take it for granted,” Chimney said, “I… I lost my brother, Kevin. You remind me a little of him at times, and it hurts occasionally. I always wanted to be as good as him and I failed, at every step,” he shook his head. “He saved the life of a pregnant woman, shoved her at me and fell through the roof where she had been standing,” he said, voice shaking.

Evan walked over to him, putting a hand on his shoulder, “I’m sorry for your loss.”

Chimney tried and failed to smile, “Thank you. No one that’s still at the 118 remembers it. A new crew has come in since that day. It was before Hen. I’ve been here for… god, it’s been over ten years. I joined this place around 2005. Kevin, he died in 2007. I was always the man behind, but like with Tatiana, I always said that I had been going out on calls to Kevin and his parents,” he said, spilling his past to him, “I miss him,” he added.

“He was your brother, of course, you would,” Evan comforted, “No doubt he’s yelling at you for some things, it’s what Adriana and Sophia do with Eddie, and with me. I think that’s what siblings are supposed to do,” he murmured. He didn’t have that with Maddie, she had been the one to take care of him instead.

“It is,” he laughed, though it was shaky, “He did that a lot to me at times. He always knew when I wasn’t being fully honest. He would hit me one later and ask why. He did… he did when I said I went on calls. He could tell, he would look at me, and pretend that I was telling the truth in front of his parents, but after, he would say something. He hated how things were here. Wanted me to join him at times. Also, put in a transfer several times, but ended up staying. Kind of glad I didn’t transfer, I’ve met some great people here over the last several years,” he said, looking up at Evan.

“I’m glad I’m here as well,” he agreed, nodding. “I don’t like what happened, but I think this is where Eddie and I are supposed to be,” he said as Aria began to fuss, “I think someone wants some lunch herself,” he said as he went to prepare a bottle, leaving a semi panicked Chimney behind asking how to keep her from crying as a hungry wail echoed around the 118.

Chapter Forty Four

Buck jolted awake, feeling arms around him, he stumbled out of the bed, crashing into the wall as he turned wide-eyed towards it.

“Evan?” Eddie called to him, voice full of sleep as he looked a little confused as to what happened.

“So… sorry,” Buck breathed. His palms started to tingle as his breath started to shorten, his chest feeling tight.

Eddie got out of bed and rushed over, “Evan,” he said, his voice calm as he knelt before him, “I need you to breathe with me, okay,” he said, recognizing a panic attack.

Buck glanced at him and gave a shaky nod. Eddie slowly walked him through the panic attack, getting his breathing under control. “Tha… thank you,” he said, voice still shaking as the last dregs of his dream played out in his mind.

“Can I touch you now?” Eddie asked, not wanting to startle him at all.

“I,” he began and then nodded, “Please.”

“Always,” Eddie smiled softly as he settled against the wall with him, and let Evan lean against him.

Evan sighed as he closed his eyes, Pushing away what he had felt for a moment, “I dreamt about it again,” he mumbled into Eddie’s chest. The firmness helped to ground him.

Eddie closed his eyes and sighed, “Oh Ev,” he murmured.

“I know what you said, I know that, but I just… I just want it to be gone from my head,” he told him, clutching onto his shirt.

“I think you should see someone. They can do some of this online if you don’t want to see someone in person,” Eddie suggested. He had done that when he had first moved from El Paso to LA, until he had found a therapist here that he felt comfortable with.

“Yeah,” he sighed, “Yeah I know I need to. I’ll see if I can go to the one that I went to before, I don’t know if he will… will be able to help with this problem, but he might be able to point me in the right direction.”

Eddie hugged him, “That’s good,” he told him, as he slowly got up, “It’s still early, want to get up now or go back to bed for a bit?” he asked him.

“Get up, don’t think I’m going to be going back to sleep any time soon,” Evan said as he was pulled to his feet.

“You are nothing but muscle,” Eddie laughed as he pulled him up.

“All that training,” he grinned, glad of the change in conversation.

“True,” he smiled, “Later, when Abuela comes over to see the kids, want to go for a run?” he asked, they had taken to going for a run most days since Isabel was insistent on spending a little time with her great-grandchildren every day, for at least an hour.

“Sure,” Evan smiled as they went to get ready for the day. The two checked on Aria and Christopher, both were still sleeping, though Aria would be waking soon for her 6 am feed.

“Evan,” Eddie began, just before he had to get Christopher up for school.

“Yeah,” he replied as he looked up from where he was burping Aria.

“I think you should report Dr Wells,” he told him again, his words gentle as he reached out towards him, “I know you might not want to. But I think you should. She shouldn’t get away with this. She hurt you, she… raped you Evan, and I don’t…” he trailed off, taking hold of his hand and squeezing it, “I want you to feel safe, and with her out here, free, walking around, I know you don’t. You look around half the time, to make sure that she isn’t around. When we accidentally saw her a few days ago while we were out, you froze for a moment. I don’t want you to have to fear going out and spending time at the mall, or the park, or anywhere.”

Evan was quiet, “I just… I know I should, what if she’s done this to others? What if there are others out there that she is looking at as well? I know I should have said something as soon as it happened, but my mind–”

“It wasn’t with it, you had just lost your first person on a call out. You were still grieving the loss of myself and Christopher and you were also dealing with the fact that you were trying to adopt Aria. You didn’t want anything coming up that could jeopardize that,” Eddie said, understanding why Evan hadn’t said anything at first.

Evan looked up at him and nodded, “Exactly. I didn’t know if they would look into that, and see it as me forcing her. I know that’s… stupid to think of, as she is in a position of power. But I was scared that they would turn it around on me. Look at me and then at her and it would be easy to see me as the aggressor. it doesn’t matter that-”

“Evan,” Eddie cut him off before he could spiral any more, “I know you, you would never do something like that. Never. But she is in a position of power, she should know better than to do what she did. That is on her, not you. She coerced you, and threatened to not sign off on your return to work.”

“I feel like I cheated on you, that I broke something between us,” Evan murmured quietly.

Eddie pulled him into his arms, Aria now content between them as he said, “You didn’t, and you haven’t. She is the one in the wrong, she is the one that needs to be punished for what she has done to you. I love you, Evan, that is not going to change,” he reassured him, kissing him sweetly on the lips, “Now, it’s up to you what you do in the end. I really wish you would report it, but at the very least, I would like you to see someone, to help you come to terms with what you’ve been through.”

“I’ll go to the station, I know that Bobby should be on shift today,” Evan said slowly, as he pulled out of the hug, “I’ll talk to him, see what he thinks I should do.”

Eddie nodded, already knowing that a true captain would report what had happened and start an investigation and suspend Dr Wells at the very least. And from what Evan had said about Bobby, the man sounded like he would be a true captain and make sure that it was taken care of properly. “I know it’ll be hard, but I’m going to be here for you always, don’t forget that,” he told him softly, kissing him again, “Now, I’ll go get the little man up, and get him ready for school,” he smiled.

Evan smiled back and nodded. The two went through their morning routine when Evan and Aria stayed over. Shannon was at a conference for a couple of days, so they had the house to themselves. Dropping Christopher off was full of smiles and laughter as Eddie then took Aria, while Evan headed to the station to see Bobby.

XxXxX

Evan looked at the fire station for a moment before walking inside. He waved at Hen and Chimney, as they were in the back of the ambulance restocking it. “Hey is Bobby around?” he asked them, a slightly nervous tone in his voice.

“Yeah, up in the loft, he was about to start making lunch,” Hen answered him, “Is everything okay?” she asked, glancing him over and seeing the more defensive posture he was holding.

“Just… just something I need to talk to him about,” he admitted quietly as he hurried away from them.

“Hey Evan,” Xiaoli said as soon as he saw him reach the top of the stairs, “No Aria?” he asked, pouting at not seeing his niece with his best friend.

“No, she’s with Eddie, I need to talk to Bobby,” he told him as he looked around for the man and sat him at the counter. “Bobby!” he called out and rushed over before Xiaoli could ask him anything else. He hadn’t told his friend what was going on, he didn’t want anyone to know, if he was honest, he felt like he had done something wrong. No matter what Eddie was telling him.

“Buck,” Bobby smiled as he looked up at the call, “What brings you here?” he asked him as he let the young man come to him.

“I… I need to talk to you about something,” he said hesitantly.

“Sure,” he nodded, “Want to help while we talk?” he suggested as he gestured to the food that he was beginning to prepare.

“I… I would prefer to be in your office. It’s a little…” he shrugged.

The smile dropped from Bobby’s face as he nodded seeing the flash of fear in Evan’s eyes, “Sure,” he agreed as he called out, “Xiaoli, can you continue preparation, you know what I’m making,” he told the young man.

Xiaoli got up from where he was playing a game, “Of course,” he nodded and headed over.

Bobby and Evan headed to Bobby’s office and shut the door behind them. Sitting behind his desk, Bobby watched Evan as he sat down. “So, is everything okay, Buck?” he asked as soon as they were seated.

“I went to Dr Wells, like you recommended,” Evan began, wincing as he finished.

“That’s goo…” he trailed off before finishing as he saw the flinch that Evan gave as he spoke. “What happened? She gave you the all clear to work, even though I never asked for an evaluation.”

“She,” he started, “Bobby, she came on to me. Told… told me that I had to…”

Bobby got up and walked around his desk, taking the chair that was next to Evan. He reached out to take a hand but stopped himself as he saw the subtle flinch. “Buck,” he began, his voice softening as he tried to get the young firefighter to focus on him, “What happened?” he asked again.

Evan looked at him, “Eddie, Eddie said I should call it what it is, but it’s hard. Hard to admit that I let it happen, I know he said that I didn’t, that I was coerced but it still feels like it. He told me I should report it, and I know that I should but it’s still hard to just say the word… words,” he babbled a little.

“Buck,” he called to him, getting him to focus once more.

“Rape, she raped me,” Evan finally blurted out, sinking into his chair.

Bobby froze, “She…” he shook his head, “She did that?”

Evan nodded, “Yes,” his voice shook. “I didn’t want to, really Bobby I didn’t, but she said that if I didn’t agree that she wouldn’t sign my return to work. I want to work, I have to work. It was all I had,” he told him in a rush.

“Okay,” Bobby said, “I believe you, but you know I’m going to have to ask you some questions,” he said gently, “I need this so I can make a report on her. If she’s done it to you, then there might be others as well. And we have to make sure that no one else will be targeted.” His tone was gentle, but his words struck something in Evan.

“I’ll…” he took a breath and steeled himself as he looked at Bobby and said, “I’ll tell you everything that I can, I don’t want anyone else to go through this,” he told him.

Bobby gave him a reassuring smile, “Okay, just walk me through what happened?” he said as he went to make notes, so he knew what he could put in his report. Though he would be having Evan read through it before he submitted it. He would need to make sure it was accurate.

Evan nodded once and began to go through how he had gone to the office and what led to the rape and its aftermath. Including her threat to stop him from being able to work.

Chapter Forty Five

Evan had been back at work for only a couple of days after his paternity leave had ended. He had turned down the option of extending it and taking more. Now, he was sitting in his car outside of Eddie’s home. It was late, in the early hours of the morning. But they had finally finished at the scene of the plane crash. Abby had called to see if he could find a victim but had found out that he had been killed during the crash. It hurt to know that someone had lost a loved one. That so many of those on the plane were dead. Bobby had told him that morning that he had started off the investigation into Dr Wells. All Evan wanted was to crawl into bed with Eddie and not move, to let the other man be strong for him for a bit while he cried for the dead that he couldn’t save, and to forget what that woman had done.

He rested his head on the steering wheel and left it there. Evan almost jumped out of his skin when there was a tapping on the window. “Ed… Eddie,” he breathed, eyes wide as his heartbeat fast in his chest.

“Hey,” he said, “Are you going to come inside or stay out here for the rest of the night?” he asked him, keeping his voice light, he could see the distress on Evan’s face.

“How… how did you even know that I was out here?” he asked, frowning as he stepped out of the car.

“Abby called me, told me that it was a tough call, and went overtime. Said that you might be upset,” he murmured as he wrapped his arms around Evan and held him.

Evan stood there, frozen for a moment before he wrapped his own arms around Eddie and held him as he crumbled and cried. “There were so many Eds,” he cried softly for a while as they stayed outside for a few more moments.

“Let’s get inside, something light to eat and a hot drink, not coffee,” he said as he guided Evan into the house.

Shannon was sitting on the sofa, having woken up when she heard Eddie getting up, “Is everything okay?” she asked as she saw how upset Evan was.

“Just…” Evan shook his head.

“Plane crash from earlier,” Eddie answered instead

Shannon winced, “Okay, go have a shower, get into something comfy and I’ll make us some hot chocolate,” she said, as she glanced towards Eddie to get him to keep an eye on the younger man.

Eddie nodded and guided Evan towards the bathroom, stopping into their bedroom to grab some of Evan’s sleepwear. He didn’t stay that often at the house. But since Eddie was taking care of Aria for the night, Evan had said he would join them. Shannon looked up a little while later from where she had set out three mugs of hot chocolate. A couple of tiny marshmallows floating on top.

“Thanks,” Evan said tiredly, as he wrapped his hands around it, “Just… I didn’t expect to see something like that. Three crews were on scene.”

“I saw some of the pictures of it all on the news,” Shannon murmured as Eddie nodded, “But nothing more than that.”

“Nothing really prepares you for something like that. You get told that you can end up at any time at the site of a disaster. And when you do, it shocks you. Car accidents, fires, jumpers, those are things that you are prepared for. Not plane crashes, not a baby flushed down a toilet. And when it does happen, it takes you by surprise and for a second, you freeze and go, what the fuck in your head and then you carry on. It doesn’t really hit you until it’s all over and you’re back home.”

“I… can somewhat understand,” Eddie said, remembering a few things about being in the army and out on deployment, “ You look at the films that are out and you think you know what you’re in for, but it’s nothing like the films, the films can tell you how you personally are going to react to what you see and go out there.”

“Yeah,” Evan sighed, drinking his hot chocolate, letting the sweet and bitterness of it soothe him a little more. He felt Eddie’s hand on his arm and looked at him, smiling softly.

The three stayed up a little longer, not talking, just sitting there before going to bed.

XxXxX

Buck had come home after a shift and changed. Bobby hadn’t shown up for work at all. He had tried to call the man, but it had gone straight to voicemail, he wasn’t getting an answer. He had called Hen and Chimney to see if either of them had been able to get through to Bobby, but neither of them had any luck. He was worried about the man, and he could tell that Hen was as well as she was now calling his phone back not long after he had returned home. “Hey, Hen” he greeted as he waited for the woman on the other end to answer him.

“Sorry for calling on your day off,” Hen apologized, “But I think we should go and check on Bobby. When we were at the plane crash last night, he… well, he wasn’t acting as he normally did,” she told him.

“Yeah,” he nodded, already grabbing his jeep keeps and glancing over at Eddie, who was rocking Aria in his arms. The two-month-old had been crying a little but was finally settling down for her dad. “Ed’s, I’m just going with Hen to check on Bobby,” he told him, kissing him on the cheek as he passed and pressing one on Aria’s forehead, “be good for daddy my little Aria,” he told her.

Hen quickly told him the address to meet him at as they hung up.

“Drive safe,” Eddie called out after him.

Evan nodded as he headed out. Driving carefully, it didn’t take him as long as he thought it would to get there. Though Hen was already waiting for him. “Shall we?” he said as he went over to her.

“Yeah,” she sighed, as the two of them headed into the building and to Bobby’s floor. They knocked on the door a few dozen times before Hen pulled out a key, “We gave them to each other, just in case something happens,” she explained as she went inside. It didn’t take long to find where Bobby was.

“Damn, he’s really been drinking,” Evan said as he looked around the room, seeing empty bottles around the place.

Hen nodded as she looked around the small bare apartment. There was just nothing in the way it was decorated that showed someone actually lived there.

“Help me get him in the shower,” Evan said as he and Hen worked together to get Bobby into his shower. Blasting the cold water on him, it woke him up, Hen already leaving the room, “I’m going to grab you something clean to wear, have a shower and freshen up,” he instructed him, “You worried us, Bobby,” he told him, his voice gentle as he then left the room do grab something for the man to wear.

Evan and Hen waited outside in the living room for him to clean up and join them. They had cleaned up the empty bottles and the ones with something in were tipped out. Bobby came out, subdued and ashamed.

“I’m… sorry that you had to see that,” he said as he went and sat down on the couch, “I just… I just needed a small drink after that, I-”

“How long were you sober for?” Evan asked him, he’d seen alcoholics before, lived with a few during his travels around. He knew the signs when someone fell off the wagon.

“546 days, or 45 and a half if we’re being picky,” he said before he snapped, “18 months.”

“The crash was, bad, real bad,” Evan said lightly, “I went and cried in Eddie’s arms that night, and had hot chocolate that Shannon made. I had… family to go back to, someone at least. Why didn’t you… you could have asked and we’d have been there,” he said.

Hen walked over with some coffee. “Here,” she said, a small smile on her face.

Bobby looked at her and nodded, “Thanks.” He looked down at the mug on the coffee table.

“We all have our breaking points,” she said empathically, glancing at the table, the two of them had noticed that there were four dinner plates set around it and she couldn’t help but ask, “Who… who were you cooking dinner for?”

Bobby looked up, seeing them and for a split second, Evan could see helplessness and sorrow in the man’s eyes before he spoke. “I have no idea, I was drunk.” He looked at the table, staring at it before he put on a more happy and stable tone, “This was a one-time thing, really. It’s not going to happen again. I’m fine, really,” he tried to reassure them, but both of them could tell he wasn’t. He was putting a brave face on what had happened, but it was breaking.

Hen sighed, sitting down on the coffee table, “Bobby, we can only keep growing if we know how to bend in the winds. If we stay too rigid, we break.”

“It’s okay to ask for help,” Evan said, “It really is, sometimes you feel like you’re going to drown, sometimes you just need someone to throw you a lifeline.”

Bobby looked between the two of them and then said, “Help,” tears began to fall.

Evan was quick to move to join him on the couch, putting an arm around him, “We’re here,” he said as Hen did the same on the other side, “We’re here.”

It took a while for Bobby to calm back down again.

Evan looked at him, “Right, little steps to get there.” He waited until Bobby was looking at him, “So, the first step, throwing out the bottles, which Hen and I have done, now the next?” he asked him.

Bobby was silent for a while, “Finding… finding a meeting,” he said quietly.

“Then we’ll help you do that,” Hen smiled.

Bobby gave them a trembling smile, “Thank you, just… thank you.”

“We’re here, we’re here if you need to talk, or even if you just want someone to be with you for a bit,” Evan told him, Hen nodding along in agreement with him.

“Now, what about coming to mine for dinner?” Hen suggested.

Bobby began to shake his head, “No, no, I’ve… taken too much of your time up as it is.”

Evan snorted, “No, you haven’t taken any time up,” he told him, “Look, I know you said at the firehouse that we’re not a family. But, we are, and family doesn’t take up anyone’s time. We’re both happy to be here to help, to be here with you. Now, you have a choice, go with Hen, or come with me. Neither of us wants you to be alone at the moment, and we can help you find a meeting.”

“I’d go with Buck,” Hen grinned, “He has a newborn you can cuddle to your heart’s content,” she added, laughing lightly when Evan grinned.

“Prime for cuddles at the moment, she doesn’t like being put down,” Evan told him, “I left home to Eddie walking around the house with her in his arms.”

“I…” Bobby looked between the two of them.

“You’re coming with me,” Evan said finally, “Come on, we’re at Shannon’s place at the moment, and it does have a guest bedroom as well, so you’re welcome to stay the night too,” he said as he stood up, getting Bobby to do the same.

“Okay,” he sighed, knowing he wasn’t going to win against the two of them.

Evan smiled as Bobby went and got together a bag, including what he would need to go to work the next day. Evan messaged Eddie and Shannon about their house guest, both saying it was fine. He had told the two of his worries about his Captain. When they arrived home, Bobby was welcomed and Aria was placed in his arms as Evan took Eddie aside and whispered what had happened to him as they made some tea and coffee for them all.

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