Reading Time: 111 Minutes
Title: Crash and Burn
Series: Affirmation
Series Order: 3
Author: Duochanfan
Fandom: 9-1-1
Genre: Angst, Crime Drama, Drama, Family, Hurt/Comfort, Romance
Relationship(s): Eddie Diaz/Evan Buckley
Content Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Hate Crimes, Hate Speech, Violence-Graphic, Violence-Domestic, Violence-Against Children/Child Abuse. Bigotry, Canon Natural Disasters, Canon Typical Violence, Character Bashing, Dark Themes, Death Minor Character, Discussion Death of Children, Gun Violence, Homophobia, Injury, Kidnapping of a Minor, Attempted Murder, Attempted Murder of a Minor, Murder, Stalking.
Author Note: Crash and Burn by Savage Garden really resonated with this part for me.
Beta: HarleyJQuin. Thank you so much for the editing you’ve done, and all the capital letters you took!
Alpha: HarleyJQuin. Once again, thank you for all the help with everything, and to BytheBry for your help with the romance side of things!
Word Count: 52,912
Summary: Evan Buckley was now Officer Evan Buckley of the LAPD. A career he hoped to find a home in. But when homicide Detective Lou Ransone asks for some help on a case. Evan and Athena Grant are the two to answer the call. The three of them have to work together to bring a killer to justice, while Evan deals with a new romance with Eddie. But things begin to Crash and Burn around them.
Artist: Tpena19
Artist Appreciation: Thank you so much, the art work is wonderful and I love looking at everything.
Chapter Thirteen
Eddie returned to Afghanistan and Evan and Athena were on patrol more than working the case as for almost two months things were quiet. Lou worked on both cases, though he was beginning to treat them as the same case. He believed Evan when he said that the killer was the same. It had been since January that something had last happened, and it was now nearing the end of April. There had been no new leads coming in either, which left the team frustrated and the brass wanting Evan and Athena to return to their usual patrol.
Evan was getting his things ready to head out on patrol on his own. Athena had the day off.
“Evan,” came a voice as someone called to him.
“Oh, hey Lou,” he said as the detective rushed over. “What’s wrong?” he frowned.
“Missing firefighter, I want you with me. His name is Sal Deluca and was last seen at a bar with members of the 118. We’re heading to the 118, those that were with him, are now there,” Lou told him, “So, let’s go.”
“Okay,” Evan nodded as he grabbed his things and was quick to follow the detective out of the station and to his car.
It took them just over an hour to get to the station, the station had been taken offline so that Lou and Evan could talk to the members of the 118. “Let me talk with the Captain and you can talk to the others there.”
Evan nodded as he followed the man into the station. He glanced around, seeing a glass wall that looked like a locker room behind it. It was odd, and he didn’t know if he would be comfortable with something like that.
“Captain Gerrard,” Lou said, “I’m Detective Ransone. I’m here about your missing firefighter. This is Officer Buckley. I would like to speak with you, if Officer Buckley can talk with your crew about Firefighter Deluca.”
“Sure,” he said, not looking happy. “Come with me, we can talk in my office. Buckley, you can go to the table in the loft,” he said, staring at him.
“Sir,” Evan nodded respectfully, before looking at the crew that were staring at him, “Hello, I’m Officer Buckley, if I can talk to you one at a time, that would be great. I just need to know what you know of Sal Deluca and his last movements. I’d like to start getting a timeline put together.”
“Like the shows,” an Asian man said.
“Yeah, very much like the shows,” Evan smiled, “Why don’t we talk first?” he suggested, “Can you take me to where I’m alright to sit down and talk?” he added.
“Sure, this way,” he said as he popped the gum he was chewing and led the way to the stairs and took him up into the loft.
Evan followed as the rest remained downstairs. “Thank you,” he said as they reached the top and they sat at the large table that dominated one part of the kitchen dining area. “So, can I ask your name?” he asked as soon as he pulled out the pad he was going to make notes on.
“Howard Han, but people call me Chimney,” he stated, staring at him in a way that made Evan want to squirm.
“Thank you, Firefighter Han. Can you tell me what you know of Sal Deluca and his last movements?” he asked.
“Sure, not much though, we’re not exactly friends at the moment. He’s one of Gerrard’s,” he said, glancing around. “You’ll find in this station that it’s not a good idea not to look like you do, or even be any of the letters, you know LGBTQ and all that,” he added. “Be one of those, and you’re a target for his ire. Sal Deluca, is… one of Gerrard’s, like I said, what a firefighter should be. Male, tall, strong, white, cis and het. He has friends here, of course. They hang out after work. I don’t. I’ve tried a few times, but I just feel like I’m there to be made fun of.”
“Haven’t you complained?” Evan frowned, “There are channels that you can go through.”
Chimney snorted, “We’re labeled the problem children. It’s getting to the point where more and more are complaining, but it’s going to take something drastic to get people to stand up and pay attention to what is going on in this station. Gerrard’s one of the old boys, he is stuck in the last century in more ways than one. Deluca… had his moments when he isn’t a douche, he’s a good firefighter. But we’re not close.”
“Right, he went missing last night, what do you know of the man’s movements?” he asked, hoping to get something.
“Nothing, I wasn’t invited,” he shrugged, “Can I go? I have work to do.”
“Of course, can you send up anyone you think would be a good idea to talk to?” he asked.
“Yeah, sure,” he said with a semi-sneer as he got up and left.
Evan wrote down a few things about what he observed of the man before looking up as someone walked over. “Hello.”
“Tommy Kinard,” he greeted, giving him a tight smile.
Evan smiled back, “Thank you for coming up, and please, sit down, Firefighter Kinard.”
“Please, call me Tommy, it’s easier,” he said as he sat down.
“Alright, Tommy. Can you tell me about Sal Deluca, what he was like, his friends, and what he was doing last night?” he asked him.
“Well, I was with him last night and so were a few others. We meet up often after work, but we mostly do it on our days off. Last night was a night off, and we just wanted to let loose a little. Things at work… aren’t exactly pleasant. Complaints don’t go anywhere. Sal tried once and he got in trouble with Gerrard. I’ve tried and got the same. We’re… being watched most of the time,” he said, his voice low, making sure that they wouldn’t be overheard at all.
Evan nodded, “What did you do last night? Who was with you?” he asked, as he began to write down the names that the man told him. Frowning when he saw Chimney’s name on it. “Firefighter Han was with you?” he asked.
“Yeah, but he only came in at the end of the night and disappeared soon after,” Tommy told him, shrugging. “He does that sometimes. He’ll turn up, we do invite him. But he’s wary, I don’t blame him, we’re not the most friendly around here because of Gerrard and the atmosphere he creates,” he winces.
“I see,” he nodded, making a few more notes. “Can you think of anyone around here that would wish harm on Firefighter Deluca?” he asked.
“No, not really. I mean, we’re firefighters, we have to be able to trust each other to make sure that we get back at the end of the day. I can’t really think of anyone here that would do that,” he frowned, shaking his head.
Evan nodded and asked a few more questions. He saw a few more before Lou joined him upstairs. They saw everyone they could and headed out. Evan was deep in thought about what he had learned.
XxXxX
Evan wrote up each of the interviews that he had sat through on his own. making sure to put in as much detail as he could. One really stood out to him and that was Howard Han. “Lou,” he began, “What do you know of a Howard Han?” he asked.
“Not a lot,” Lou admitted. “I know a little about Hen, that’s Henretta Wilson. Athena knows her well,” he added.
“Hmm. He was the first I interviewed. He said that he hadn’t gone out last night with the others, didn’t meet up with them or anything. But three of them turned around and mentioned him joining them at the end of the night, and leaving just before they did,” he said as he handed over the printed-out reports he had just finished typing up.
“Think he could be a suspect?” Lou asked him.
Evan nodded, “Yeah, and I don’t know what Athena is going to think when we concentrate on the 118. I know she’s friends with Hen, but that’s about it.”
“Well, we do what we always do. Investigate, check things, and go from there. The CCTV footage from there has just arrived, finally,” he muttered, as he looked at the email.
“I’ll make a start on it, and see what we can find. I’ll also go back over the footage from the other ones, see if there is anything in common,” he added.
“Alright, you do that. I’ll start looking into Howard Han and see what I can find,” Lou nodded in agreement.
Evan went to his desk and pulled up the email that had been forwarded to him. He clicked up the footage and marked when each of the people that were mentioned had gone into the bar. And when each of them had left. He did the same for the victim Sal Deluca as well. Noting that he left just moments before Howard Han.
XxXxX
Athena looked at the two of them, arms crossed in front of her. “You really think that Howard Han did this?”
“We’re not sure. But he’s at the bar with four of the victims so far. Four of them. And leaves just before. We can find him at all of them. He’s at the bar with five out of nine victims, and two of those weren’t attacked at the bar. It’s just something we have to look into,” Lou told her, “He’s a suspect so far, we have another suspect as well. Someone else at the 118 is there for six of them that we can find.”
“Are we looking into them as well?” she asked.
“Of course we are,” Evan told her, “Look, I know that you’re friends with Hen, and that Hen and Howard Han are good friends as well, but trust us. We’re looking into everyone at the 118. That station stinks,” he muttered.
“Sorry,” she sighed, “And you’re right, something stinks at that station. He’s racist, and a bigot and nothing anyone has said has been able to get it through to the LAFD that he needs to go,” she added, shaking her head,
“Yeah, we’re getting that, and I think we should put in our own complaint,” Lou said, “he was… rude, abrasive, and disgusting with some of the words he used to describe those of his own house.”
Athena sighed, “People have tried,” she told them, “but maybe they’ll finally listen when one of theirs is now a suspect.”
“Two,” Evan told her, “Two are suspects at the 118.”
“Yeah, two,” she said, pursing her lips together. “Let’s get them in and interview them,” she added.
“Already done, I’ve asked Howard Han to come in first, I’ll talk with him with Evan beside me. Sorry Athena, but I don’t want you in the firing line. Internal Affairs are still breathing down my neck, and since you do have a connection to the 118, they’re going to be wanting those dots and crosses,” Lou warned her.
“Fine,” she said, not happy, but she understood where Lou was coming from.
“You can observe, and if you think of something we should look into, make a note of it. Or look into it while we’re busy. This is the first time we’ve gotten suspects in this case,” Lou sighed, leaning back in his seat.
“When is he arriving?” Athena asked.
“I asked Han to get here for three, so he should be here in around an hour,” Lou told her. “So, let’s get everything in order. I want to hit, and I want to hit hard on why he lied to us about being there. And then bring up the others.”
“Alright,” Evan said as he went to his desk. He could see that Athena wasn’t happy, but started to work herself and compile what Lou and Evan would need during the interview.
Chapter Fourteen
The interview had been a trial and a half. Howard Han had been defensive and combative, mostly glaring at Evan each time he said something or presented the evidence that they had. He would glare at him and snap. Lou had to bring the man’s attention to him several times.
“Well,” Evan said as he looked at Lou as soon as they were back in the office.
“What do you think?” Lou asked him.
“Combative, there were a few lies there. We’ll need to check them out, but I don’t know about him,” Evan frowned.
“Of course he was combative,” Athena snorted, “they always are when they’re accused of murder.”
“Maybe so, but that was bad and he was fixated on Evan,” Lou added, “Every single time, he would snap at him.”
“Yeah,” Evan sighed, “well, I’m going to look into the places that he talked about going after the bar. See if I can find evidence of him being there,” he added as he went over to his desk.
Lou nodded and looked at Athena, “Stop it,” he told her, “I know you feel protective of him, because of Hen, but you have to stop.”
“I just don’t believe that he would do something like this,” Athena hissed quietly.
“I know you don’t, but we still have to investigate, and I’ll do so. Chances are, this is just a dead end again. But we still have to follow it until the end,” he said, “Now, are you going to work it as normal or not?” he asked her.
Athena sighed, “No one sticks up for them, Lou,” she told him.
“I know, and we’ll try to put a complaint through from our end, maybe they’ll finally listen. I don’t know. But we have a job to do, let’s do it, follow the evidence,” he reminded her.
Athena huffed but understood that she had been a bit defensive of those at the 118. So far no women had been taken and killed, but now that the 118 had been targeted, she was worried that could change and Hen could be in danger. Evan looked up from what he was doing and smiled at her. She smiled back as she went to her desk and started to go through the interview one more, to make sure that nothing was missed.
XxXxX
Sal Deluca’s body was found three days after he went missing. And like the others there was barely anything around that could point them in the direction of his killer. Evan huffed as he tried to put the case out of his mind for a bit. They had been talking to two members of the 118, each of them hanging around together, while they were near the other group that consisted of Sal Deluca. Evan has been looking at previous footage, trying to find something that would link all of the victims together. So far Han had been around four of the nine victims, five including Deluca. The other suspect with six. The only victim that hadn’t been linked with them had been Devan. The only thing that linked him to the current victim list was the body of Joseph Miles had been found not one hundred yards away. So far, nothing had managed to link them to Mathew, as he had been attacked out in the open. Evan knew that the bar they had been in was one Mathew had gone to occasionally.
Evan wiped his hands as someone knocked on the door, hoping it was Lou to come and get him for something. He opened the door and saw his dad standing there, “Hey, Dad,” he said, letting him inside.
“I thought I would stop by, I know you’re planning on meeting up with Eric and his family tomorrow after work. So I thought I would see if you want to go to dinner tonight?” Phillip asked as he followed his son inside.
“How about I make something instead? Not feeling like going out at the moment. I may even cancel on Eric, this case is getting to me, Dad,” he sighed as he went to the kitchen to make the two of them something to drink. It was a couple of hours before dinner, so they had time to decide.
“Sure, if you don’t want to go out, how about we have something simple,” Phillip suggested, “Or even order in?” he added.
“Order in,” Evan smiled at his dad, “Thanks, Dad.”
“Welcome, you know that,” he told him.
“I know,” he smiled, “come on, let’s go and sit down,” he added as he grabbed the coffee mugs and headed to the living room. Phillip followed and the two sat down.
“Thanks, Evan,” he smiled, taking the mug and wrapping his hands around it. “Are you okay?” he asked, getting a little worried for his son. He could see that the other was stressed, and usually, when that happened his son would be spiraling into research, and with the amount of books that decorated most of the surfaces in the living room, he could see that he was already stuck in one.
“i…” Evan began and then huffed, “I don’t know, Dad. I’m looking up anything that might be able to help me with this, and I know I’m not sleeping well again. I’m trying, really. But I-”
“I wish I could help you turn your mind off for a while,” Phillip said softly.
“I know,” he said, giving him a weak smile. “I don’t know if I’m cut out for this, Dad,” he confessed. “I really don’t,” he murmured as he stared at the liquid in his mug.
“You’re young, you can still change careers if you want to. But this is something that you have to decide for yourself.”
“I’ll… think about it more, it might be because I’ve never done something like this before. So maybe I just need to find a win, if you know what I mean. To get that bastard and put him behind bars.”
“Then you work toward that,” he told him, “I’ll be here if you need someone to talk to,” he added, “Call up that doctor you were talking to last time. Make an appointment, no doubt that the department will want that for you.”
Evan nodded, “I will, when this is over,” he promised. He took a breath and sighed, “Well, what’s going on with you? I know that you’ve traveled a lot over the last few weeks.”
“I have for business, for the most part. Ended up in Hershey, needed to check a few things,” he said, “Doug is getting out in six months; good behavior,” he snorted.
“Right…” Evan said, shocked at the news.
“It’s been almost four years, and he’s behaved inside. While I was there, I found and spoke with Maddie. You’ll be getting a letter about his release in a few weeks,” he sighed.
Evan nodded, “Right,” he said, feeling like his world was shaking. “I… I thought he would be…” he shook his head.
“I’m sorry, Evan,” he said softly, “I wish I didn’t have to tell you, but I know the letter would have blindsided you, and I’d rather I was here with you when you got the news,” he sighed, looking at his son and waiting for him to answer him. He could see the conflict in his eyes as he tried to process that the man who had attacked him was now going free. It was one thing with his mother, the woman had kept to herself over the last few years and Phillip hadn’t had to see or talk to her at all. Which he was thankful for. When it came to Maddie, she only reached out occasionally, trying to get Evan’s contact details or find out where he lived. She was still angry.
“What… about Maddie? What does she think of it all?” Evan asked eventually. Not even sure he wanted to know.
“Maddie is… happy that Doug is going to be released soon. She is still angry and blames you for all the turmoil in her life. I’ve told her several times that Doug was the one to attack you, not the other way around. The thing is, she’s been doing so well on her own. She’s the head nurse in the hospital where she works on the wards. She’s doing well. And I know as soon as Doug gets out that’s all going to go. I’ve tried talking to her, and nothing has worked to make her see what was going on before. She’s put on some rose-tinted glasses, and expects it all to be flowers and sunshine as soon as he gets out.”
“She knew what Doug was like. I could see it, I know it even better now, the signs of domestic abuse. I’ve dealt with a few cases over the last year. None of them are pleasant. A lot of the time they go back because they feel like the person they’re with will change. She still believes that he’ll change, and I don’t think he ever will. When she… when she gets to the point she needs to leave, she’s going to need you,” Evan said, biting his lip. “Make sure she knows where you are, so she can run to you.”
“She does, well, for the most part. She knows I’ve got a new business here and spend my time here. She doesn’t know that you’re here at the moment,” Phillip told him.
“That can change. If she… if she needs to come here I won’t…” he trailed off, shaking his head. He wanted to protect himself from his sister and her anger, but he also wanted to give her a place to land if she needed it.
“She knows how to get in contact with me. She also has the name, number, and address of someone I trust back in Hershey who will be able to help her escape. I’ve even informed Margaret’s sister to do the same should something happen. I’m hoping that she realizes before things get too bad, but…” he sighed, shaking his own head a few times at his daughter. He had tried his best to help her, but she refused everything, he just hoped that she would be able to escape when she finally realized what Doug was truly like.
Evan looked at his dad, “I wish things were different. I do. That she knew what he was like and was with us. That… that Margaret wasn’t like she was and that Danny…” he trailed off.
“Wishes like that will drive you mad, Evan,” he told him, smiling softly, “While I would love nothing more to have a happy and whole family. I still love what I have now. I love spending time and getting to be with you. You’re my son, and I know Danny would have loved being around as well, he would have been so happy for you,” he said softly.
The two went quiet for a bit. “Hey, Dad,” he said as he looked up, “Want to do something fun for your birthday?” he asked.
“Like what?” Phillip asked, frowning, “Is this the type of fun I’ll need insurance for, or the type of fun where we relax and enjoy?” he continued, giving his son a look. He knew that the young man enjoyed the thrill rides at places, and would often go with Eric during his downtime to visit them.
“More your type of relaxed,” Evan snorted, “I’m not going to take you on any thrill rides again. I promise,” he said, holding up a hand.
“Alright,” he nodded slowly.
Evan laughed. He had taken his dad to one of the small theme parks, and gotten him to go on a ride. He was almost kissing the ground when he got off the ride, much to Evan’s amusement. “Nah, I found a whale-watching boat tour that I think you’d like. I know you said you’d like to do something like that. So I thought, for your birthday, we could go and have a weekend of just doing the fun things that you like?” he said as he looked at his dad.
“I’d like that a lot,” he smiled, “If you tell me where this is, maybe I can look at places we can go as well. I know you enjoy your hikes, I’ve been on a few with you.”
“Yeah, there’s a good hiking place nearby, so we can do that and the whale watching and anything else we can find,” he said as the two began to plan out Phillip’s birthday weekend.
Chapter Fifteen
Evan looked at the timeline of the case, staring at the board. He’d been talking to a few members of the 118. Finding out where each of them was during these killings. What he had found was something different and had put his sights on the 118. “Lou,” he called out as he finished putting the last thing down.
“What is it?” Lou asked as he looked up from the forensic reports. He had been reading over the call log for Sal Deluca.
“I’ve been doing some research and looking at the timeline of things. When I was talking to Wilson and Kinard they said something about Gerrard being a dick. They even gave me a few examples. I was thinking about what we would need to report him,” he said as he turned to Lou and Athena. “But, I thought a little more about it, but then on a timeline. The incidents that they talked about were… bad, three or four of the crew would be in trouble. After each incident that they’ve mentioned, which is five, one of the first responders disappeared.”
“That’s just…” Athena said, shaking her head.
“Coincidence, I don’t know, but I started looking at who was on the scene during those five incidents. I was able to track dispatch and get the reports and who was called. Each of the victims was on-site during that type, nearby.”
“Mathew included?” Lou asked as he got up and walked to the board that Evan was working on.
“That one was bad, Mathew made a report on Gerrard, but never got the chance to send it until he returned to work. I talked to him this morning about it. He remembers the incident. Gerrard basically busted three of the people on his shift calling them slurs and such, in full view of everyone. The next day Mathew was attacked,” Evan told him, pointing to the one that he was talking about.
“So you’re thinking that the 118 is the focus point?” Lou asked.
Evan nodded, “Well, yeah. I’m trying to find reports on rescues that the 118 did which coincide with the others.”
“So why would he now attack those in his own station?” Athena asked, “No killer would be that stupid.”
“Maybe not, but what if all these kills were leading up to killing someone at the 118?” Evan suggested.
“What happened the day before Deluca went missing?” Lou asked him, “Were you able to find out?”
“Yeah,” he sighed, “I talked with Kinard, I met him outside of the station since I was basically fishing for information, and not really investigating, as such,” he said with a back-and-forth tilt of his head.
“What did you learn?” Athena questioned as she folded her arms in front of her and waited.
Evan turned to face them fully. “The 118 was responding to a house fire. Six members went into the fire and two were trapped inside. Gerrard commented, saying that they should leave the riff raff in there to burn. The members inside were Howard Han and the other was Jules Schwartz. Kinard, Deluca, and another member, Owlsen, were the ones to overhear. Owlsen yelled at Gerrard for the comment and was suspended for a week for it. Deluca laughed at what Owlsen called Gerrard, and Kinard remained silent; he said he should have said something. But he did send in another report, and kept a copy of it along with the email he received back.”
“Right,” Lou said, “So we have some that coincide with something that happened with the 118 and other houses are involved or cops are around.”
“Yeah, so I think… I think whoever is doing this is involved with the 118, either seeing what is going on, or hearing about it from one of the others,” Evan said, biting his lip. We… can’t rule anything out.
“This is… big,” Lou said, his shoulders slumping slightly as he glanced over at Athena.
“Then we talk to them all, bring them in, ask for them to come in and to talk to us about Gerrard, we’ll also be reporting him, and taking statements,” she added, as he nodded at Lou that she would be fine.
“We will,” Lou nodded in agreement. “Evan, can you see what reports are available for the missing ones that they didn’t talk about.”
“Already ahead of you,” Evan grinned as he went to his desk. “Right, so we have, Sal Deluca, Mathew, Berry, Kaiser, and Miles. I found Masters today,” he said, as he grabbed the report. “Masters was on the scene of a house fire. Someone reported someone breaking into the home before the fire was started. From the complaint that Masters filed right afterward, Gerrard made several derogatory comments about the people involved in the call. The couple who had reported their home broken into was gay. He wasn’t happy about that and called them several slurs. Masters reported it and so did the couple. It was brushed aside. The next night, Masters goes missing,” he told them, handing over the report on the call and the one that Masters filed, “Had to do a little sweet talking for that, but was able to get that and all the reports that have been filed against Gerrard, and who has been blocking them.”
Athena and Lou went through the reports. “Each time,” Lou said, shaking his head.
“Someone at the 118 or someone close to them,” Athena added, “Everyone’s a damn suspect.”
“Yeah,” Evan said, “but at least we’re finally getting somewhere.”
“We are, and now we have a full station to cover and those that were connected to it,” Lou said as he looked at the two. “Let’s get started and make a list of those that are part of the 118. We’ll focus on the shift under Gerrard,” he added as he walked over to his desk.
The two nodded and got started in making the list. They would have to interview them all in turn. Hoping that one of them would give them something that would lead them to their killer.
XxXxX
Evan walked over to the bed. He hated being in the hospital, but today was even worse than normal, because in the bed was Christopher. He’d just undergone the operation that would help alleviate the pain that he had been experiencing the last couple of weeks. They had been warned, but that didn’t mean they were prepared for it. He sighed as he saw Shannon sitting there. She had been quiet, worried, and silent. Her mother had gone off again. Janet had been doing that a lot over the last few months now; even more than normal. She just wasn’t around like she had been.
“How is he?” Evan asked as he put a hand on her shoulder.
“He’s doing fine, got through the operation without complications. He’s woken up once, and he wanted his dad, but well. I can’t really get Eddie here,” she said, shaking her head. “I feel like a failure, not able to help my son, not able to get him what he wants.”
“He’s three, and he is only just truly starting to understand that he has to wait until certain times of the year for his dad to come home. Eddie should be back next month. Eddie said he had hoped that the operation could wait until then. But he said to go ahead with it because he didn’t want Chris in any more pain,” he said as he went over to the bed and held a tiny hand. It just wasn’t right to see him in such a bed, to see the IV, the monitors, and everything around him, to make sure that he was okay.
“I know, I know,” she sighed, leaning back as she watched Eddie with her son.
“Eddie’s going to call tonight to ask how things have gone. Do you want to talk to him, or do you want me to?” he asked.
“Can you? I need to talk to my mom. She’s been acting odd, and I need to know what’s going on in her head,” Shannon said, looking at him. The two had been close, but last month something had changed, and while Janet had been partially living with them before, she had fully moved out, and back to her condo. Keeping mostly to herself and occasionally flying out to visit friends and family that lived around the US.
“I will, don’t worry. You go talk with your mom now, and I’ll stay here with Chris. Then you can take over tonight and I’ll talk to Eddie,” he told her.
“Yeah… okay, I’ll do that. I don’t want him here on his own at all. You’ve got the right to decide things for him, you know what he needs,” she said as she got up, “I just-” she cut herself off with a huff.
“I get it,” he smiled at her as she moved aside and he took the seat she had been using. He pulled it even closer to the bed and took Christopher’s hand in his again as Shannon kissed her son and left. “Well, buddy, it’s just you and me for a bit. Shall I tell you what I did for my dad for his birthday last week?” he said before he began to tell him all about the whale watching they had done and the hike they had gone on. He had already told him, but Christopher loved to hear the things that they had seen and the pictures that Evan had taken.
XxXxX
Shannon had returned to the hospital looking annoyed and angry. Her mother had ignored her, and even walked away not saying anything to her daughter. Shannon didn’t understand what was going on, why her mother had suddenly started to be distant and almost cold towards her and Christopher. Evan remained at the hospital until Christopher woke up again, talking with him and comforting him as the little boy was in a bit of pain.
Evan had stayed longer than he had meant to, but he didn’t want to leave Christopher at all. His godson was in pain and he just wanted to be there to help and soothe him as best as he could. But he had promised to be the one to talk to Eddie, to tell him how everything had gone that morning. He settled himself down on his couch, laptop open and ready. He had a coffee beside him, even though it was late.
Evan answered as soon as the call came in, “Hey, Eds,” he smiled a little as he saw his boyfriend.
“Hey, Ev,” he smiled back, though there was some tightness around his eyes, telling Evan that he wasn’t happy about something.
“Everything okay?” Evan asked, frowning as he observed him.
“Not really,” he sighed, looking more annoyed as the second ticked by. “My leave for next month was canceled. They are telling me I can leave in August instead. So an extra month to wait. I told them that I needed to be home because of Christopher, that they had denied me going home to be with him during the operation and recovery. But now they are delaying it even more. They’ve not even told me why,” he began to rant, before taking a deep breath and calmed himself down.
“Damn, this is… not good. Chris is going to be devastated that you’re not going to be home. But… there’s nothing that can be done?” he asked, getting a shake of Eddie’s head in answer, “Right, so we make the best of it.”
“I know,” he sighed heavily.
“We’re going to be looking at some pre-school places for him, that specialize in those with disabilities. We can always have your help and your input. We can visit a few places then. We want him in a place before the school year starts. So, we can do that?” he suggested, hoping that would cheer him up a little.
“Won’t be the same, but I’d like to see the places he would be attending,” Eddie sighed, but nodded, “How is he?” he asked.
“He’s a trooper and puts us all to shame. He was in some pain, but they managed that before I left. He was going to have some jello, so he’s really happy about that. He wants all the rainbow colors,” he smiled as he told Eddie everything about the operation and how Christopher reacted.
“Wish I was there, I asked Abuelo to get a few things, some toys and that for him from me. Since I can’t be there. He should bring them by tomorrow or the next day,” Eddie added quietly. Evan could see the guilt that swam in Eddie’s eyes, even through the screen.
“Chris is home in four days,” he added.
“Thanks,” Eddie said, “for being there when I can’t.”
“Welcome always, anything for my godson,” Evan smiled as he talked a little more about Christopher, and went over a couple more things before Eddie got called away.
Chapter Sixteen
Evan yawned as he walked into Lou’s office, he had been told that the man was still there, talking with someone. Evan had just finished his patrol shift, and since it was a night shift, he wanted to make sure his friend actually went home instead of staying at the office all night. He knocked on the door and waited for the small, ‘come in’ to be called out.
“Evan,” Lou said, frowning as he saw him.
“You should head home,” Evan told him, standing in the office doorway.
“Can’t. Wilson of the 118 just called; Athena told her to call me should anything odd happen. The 118 went out tonight, and Tommy Kinard has disappeared. Wilson told me that she witnessed an altercation, and Kinard being dragged from the bar by someone that she thought she knew, but couldn’t be sure of. Kinard was seen struggling with the man, but Wilson couldn’t get to them before they left. She looked outside but there was no sign of them,” he said as he started to get up.
“I’m coming with you,” Evan told him, feeling more awake.
“Y-” Lou began as he went around his desk and to the door.
“I’m not letting you go alone. This is the closest we have come to an abduction time. Every second counts, so I’m coming with,” Evan told him, as he followed Lou out of the door.
“Fine,” he said, rolling his eyes, “Stubborn bastard.”
Evan snorted, “Yeah, have to be with the shit I’ve been through over the years.”
Lou shook his head and took the lead to get down to the parking garage, calling in where he was going and what was going on to dispatch. Doing what was needed for people to be on the lookout for Tommy Kinard.
XxXxX
Arriving at the bar, the two saw a group from the 118 waiting around outside. Wilson was in the middle of them, looking unhappy with some of the group. Lou got out and went over, Evan quickly following behind him.
“What happened?” Lou asked as he concentrated on Wilson.
“I was getting a round of drinks in, I saw that Tommy had split from the group and started to talk to someone. Not everyone on A-Shift is here, but most of us are,” she answered, “He didn’t look happy, and then there was… it was like there was terror on his face as the other guy got close and began to pull him out of the bar. I tried to get over there, but people kept getting in the way,” she huffed, her lips thinning in annoyance at what happened.
“Right, who came out with you, that isn’t here now? And who didn’t come?” Lou asked. They had been compiling information on each of the members of the 118. So far there had been three that they were concentrating on, a third had ended up on their short list of suspects. Howard Han, who had been very combative each time they talked to him. He’d also lied several times about where he was and what he was doing. Even when presented with evidence of his lies, he tended to double down on them.
Wilson was quick to tell him. “Chim was with us, but he left just before Tommy and that guy did. Steven didn’t come and Jules was here as well, but left in one of his snits,” she finished, shaking her head, “Chim and Jules were in a mood about something that happened on shift earlier.”
“What happened?” Evan asked, frowning as he already had a clue that it had something to do with Gerrard.
“Gerrard was being a dick,” Wilson snorted, “what else is new on that front. He was trying to get Tommy to agree with him on something inane, but Tommy was doing his best to deflect and stop him from the usual racist bigoted rant he tends to go on. No one in the 118 agrees with him, we’ve just not been able to get rid of the asshole.”
“Right,” Evan nodded, “And what did Han, Owlsen, and Schwartz think about the talk between Gerrard and Kinard?” he couldn’t help but ask.
“They weren’t happy that Tommy didn’t do more to stand up for people,” she sighed, “the thing is, it’s hard for all of us, in our own way, to stand up. We’re scapegoats for Gerrard if anything goes wrong. Those three are the usual ones along with myself. But I’m a black lesbian, I’ve dealt with this type most of my life. It’s annoying that there are old dinosaurs around, but I deal with it. Like I deal with Gerrard, we put in complaints, and not a damn thing happens,” she snorted, rolling her eyes.
“Right,” Lou said.
“I’m going to look around and see what I can find,” Evan said as Lou nodded.
“Keep me updated on your locations at all times. Call dispatch and do the same,” Lou reminded him.
“I will,” he nodded in agreement as he then turned around and began to canvas the area. Evan was paying attention to the people as another cop car pulled up to help. He nodded to the two officers that got out and called in to Lou about where he was. He was about to say something more when he heard a yell coming from the parking lot.
Evan looked over and headed that way. He heard thumping coming from one of the cars. “Can I get a license plate for Thomas Kinard,” he asked dispatch. They were quick to rattle it off and Evan began searching, getting closer to the thumps. Evan was quick to call Lou and tell him where he was and that he had found something.
“Wait for backup,” Lou ordered.
“Don’t think that would be a good idea,” Evan said as he saw someone starting to approach the car that he had located. Putting Lou on speaker, he rushed over to the car, beating the one that had been slowly approaching it, “Tommy, if you’re in there, bang twice.”
There were two sharp bangs and a muffled yell. Evan looked around as he began to try and pop the trunk. He could see the one that had been heading toward him stop, then turn and run away. “Lou, the guy is getting away. I’m trying to get the truck open.”
“Heading your way, so are the officers,” Lou said.
“Okay,” he grunted as he tried to open the trunk again. He heard people approaching and looking up he saw Lou heading toward him with a crowbar. He held out a hand, took it from him, and popped the trunk open. Inside was Tommy Kinard, eyes wide, a gag in his mouth, and blood running down his face. He was tied up in his own trunk. “Help me get him out,” Evan asked as Lou nodded and the two helped Tommy from the trunk and onto his feet. Cutting the ties that kept him tied up.
“Thank you… thank you,” he gasped out as soon as the gag had gone.
“What happened?” Lou asked him.
“Jules came over, he wanted to talk. He does sometimes, just to vent about Gerrard. It’s normal. So he vented and then headed off,” Tommy said as one of the officers brought over a first aid box and handed it to Evan.
Evan grabbed some gloves, and gauze and put some cleaning solution onto it before holding it to the wound on Tommy’s head, causing the man to be in some discomfort and pain. “Sorry,” he said as others began to head over.
“Ambulance has been called,” one of the officers said as he stood nearby.
“Thanks,” Lou nodded, turning his attention back to Tommy, “What else?” he asked.
“I was going to head back to the group when Steven came up, he wanted to talk. He didn’t even say that he was coming at all. So I was shocked to see him. I could see the others and was about to tell Steven to just let it go. We’ve tried so much to get rid of Gerrard and nothing has worked. I told him he should transfer out, and that it would be best for him. I know he’s… having a hard time with Gerrard. I didn’t think he would pull a fucking knife and threaten me with it. He… I went with him,” he said, as he put a hand on his side. There was a little amount of blood there. “I… he knocked me on the head and down I fucking went,” he cursed, looking to the side. “He.. bundled me up like a stuffed pig and put me in the trunk. I don’t really remember much else until I came round properly and started banging.”
Lou stepped away to put an APB out on Steven Owlsen. An ambulance pulled up and paramedics went over. They began to check and treat Tommy, who was trying to protest.
“You need to have the injuries documented,” Evan told him, “it’ll help later on.”
Tommy nodded and conceded to a hospital visit. “Thank you for the rescue.”
“Welcome,” Evan smiled as Lou walked back over.
“I’ll go with him, why don’t you head back to the station and write up a report, and try not to run off on your own like that please.” Lou admonished him, giving him a look
“I wasn’t running off on my own, I knew you were all nearby and were on the way,” Evan pointed out.
“Only just,” Lou said as he looked at Tommy. “Kinard, I’ll be with you. I’d like to be there to ensure everything is documented correctly,” he added.
“That’s fine,” he nodded.
Lou got in the ambulance with Tommy, and Evan controlled the scene for a while, having statements taken until a senior officer arrived on the scene to take over.
XxXxX
Evan had his gun in hand as they went through Steven Owlsen’s home. Lou and Athena were also with him as they cleared the property. They had an arrest warrant out for him. But it looked like he was in the wind. “Kitchen clear!” Evan called out as he holstered his weapon. It was the last room to be cleared. The three met in the living room.
“Found his stash,” Lou said as he walked down the stairs, “He has a room upstairs full of things from the victims,” he stated, “I’ve called forensics to come through the place. I’ve got an APB out for him, but…” he trailed off, sighing, “We got him bang to rights,” he stated calmly, “But he’s gone.”
“He’s a survivalist,” Athena said, remembering the profile that Evan had put together last night. Evan hadn’t gone home in the end, working through the night to find out everything he could about Steven Owlsen.
“So he’s going to be hard to catch, and we’ll need to wait for him to make a move. Who do you think he would be going for?” Evan asked as he looked between the two of them.
“Who do you think?” Lou asked him, wanting to see what theories Evan would come up with. The young man had great instincts, and could see and make connections that took the more seasoned officers a little longer to figure out.
Evan thought for a moment, “The cause of all this. Vincent Gerrard,” he stated, “He would be the obvious target. But he could also go for someone that got in the way.”
“So we warn Gerrard to be careful,” Lou agreed, “As for those that stood in his way, that would be everyone.”
Evan nodded in agreement, “So we keep looking, and try to figure out where he might have gone to ground?” he asked.
“We do, we inform the public who we are after and warn them that he is dangerous and that they should call and not approach,” Lou answered as they made their way outside to wait for forensics to turn up.
Evan wondered how long it would be before they would catch Owlsen and bring him to justice. He had heard horror stories of it being years when someone went to ground and they had the skills to survive without modern-day tech and facilities.
Chapter Seventeen
Evan yawned as he fumbled a little with the lock. He finally unlocked his front door. He had just finished a night shift. His patrol had taken him to four domestic disturbances, three home invasions, two armed robberies and he had been waiting for a partridge in a pear tree by the time his shift was over. He pulled out his phone and checked the time. If he got straight into bed he would be able to get four hours of sleep before he had to go and pick Eddie up from the airport. He was finally coming home on leave.
“Tired,” he muttered, he had been quick to volunteer to pick up Eddie, wanting to see his boyfriend quickly before he headed to the Diaz-Whitt home so that Eddie could spend time with his son. He began to walk through the doorway only for his head and neck to explode in pain as something bashed into it.
Evan fell to the ground, he could barely make out up and down as his head spun. He groaned as he rolled over trying to see who the hell had attacked him. He frowned as he recognized Steven Owlsen. The crowbar the man had was aimed at him again and he rolled over, grabbing his phone and pressing speed dial 2. knowing it would connect with Lou.
“Bastard, you stopped me from continuing. You fucking asshole!” Owlsen yelled out as he tried to bring the crowbar on Evan again. Evan kicked out, kicking it from his grasp as his phone clattered away, both could vaguely hear someone calling out to Evan.
“Owlsen, stop this!” Evan yelled, making sure that it would be loud enough to be picked up by his phone, “Why the fuck did you attack me in my home!” he added, letting Lou know where he was.
“You fucking called someone!” he yelled out.
“I’m a fucking cop, of course, I called for backup,” Evan said as he stumbled to his feet, his head spinning even more. He knew he was off balance, but he had to try and defend himself. He managed to get to his feet, only to be rushed and a cry of pain escaping his lips as something sunk into his stomach. He felt it pulled out as he put a hand over it automatically.
“Bastard, why? Why? You stopped me twice, twice you fucking bastard. They have to pay, they have to pay!” Owlsen yelled out as he tried to stab Evan again.
Evan barely managed to dodge it. He kicked the man away from him and reached for his gun that he was still wearing. “Stop!” he called out, as he drew his weapon, forcing himself to take his hand off his injury to hold it steady in front of him.
“No, fucking no!” he yelled out as he moved for cover and dropped the knife. Only for a shot to ring out as Owlsen pulled out a gun and fired it before even aiming it.
“Drop your weapon or I will shoot!” Evan demanded, keeping his voice calm and strong, even though his head was feeling a little fuzzy and he knew he was moments away from collapsing.
“No, no I won’t, you’ll pay, they all will!” Owlsen yelled out, this time, he began to aim before he fired.
Two shots rang out as sirens were heard approaching the home. Evan fell to the ground, his gun falling from his hand as the world around him went dark.
XxXxX
Eddie was at the airport and Evan was late. He had messaged his boyfriend but there hadn’t been a reply yet.
“Eddie!” came a call of his name.
Eddie glanced around as he made sure that it wasn’t for another Eddie before he looked at the person the voice belonged to. “Lou?” he asked, wondering why the man was there. He hurried over, dread beginning to fill him. “What’s happened?” he demanded to know as he stood face to face with his boyfriend’s ex.
“Evan was shot and stabbed a few hours ago; he’s still in surgery at the moment. Shannon and Phillip told me that you were on the way home. Isabel and Edmundo were going to come and get you, but I thought I would. Since the rest of your family are waiting for news at the hospital, I’m going to take you straight there,” Lou told him as he began to lead the way out of the airport.
Eddie’s heart was in his throat. He couldn’t even say anything as he followed, his mind going over the worst-case scenarios as Lou stopped them at the car he used. “I-”
“Hey, Evan’s strong, you know that. We got to him quickly,” Lou tried his best to reassure him as they got in.
The drive to the hospital was quiet for the most part. It took a while for Eddie to be able to speak. “How… What the hell happened?”
“The case we were working on broke a while ago. We found out who it was,” he began.
“Yeah, I know. Evan told me he’d gone to ground and he couldn’t be found,” Eddie nodded, “How the hell did he get to Evan?”
“He stalked Evan and cornered him when he arrived home from a night shift. Evan was attacked from behind what we got from a passerby who also called it in,” Lou told him, telling him everything that he knew from the passerby and the person across the street who had heard the yelling.
Eddie went quiet again as they arrived at the hospital. He was quick to get out, as Lou hurried to lead the way to where the others were waiting for them.
“Eddie, Lou” Phillip said as soon as they arrived and he spotted them. He got up, hugging Eddie. “He’s still in surgery, we just got an update that he’s doing okay and things are going well. They should be another hour before they finish. There was some internal bleeding and the bullet nicked his lung,” he informed the two of them as they joined the wait.
“Daddy!” Christopher yelled from where he was sitting on his mother’s lap.
Eddie went over and picked him up, “Hey, mijo,” he said, as he cuddled him, trying not to cry at what was going on. “Hey, Shannon,” he greeted her.
Shannon got up and hugged him, “He’s going to be just fine, you know that. He’s too stubborn to be anything else,” she added in a whisper as she held him tightly.
Eddie held on tightly, only letting go when Christopher whined about being squished between the two of them. He sat down and started the waiting game.
“Family of Evan Buckley?” a doctor called out as he walked into the room almost two hours later.
“That’s us,” Phillip said as he got up, “and anything you have to say you can say in front of them, they’re all family,” he said before the doctor could ask if he wanted to go somewhere private to talk.
“Alright,” the doctor said, “I’m one of Mr Buckley’s doctors, he’s doing well, the surgery went great. He’s a strong young man and should make a full recovery. Though it’s going to be at least a couple of weeks before he’ll be up for much of anything. His right lung was nicked by the bullet, it’s been repaired and we’re keeping an eye on his breathing. The stabbing injury penetrated straight through, damaging his intestines and liver. As I said, before you worry, liver function is down at the moment, but that should improve over the next few days as it begins to heal. We’ll be monitoring him for now, but he should be free to go home in about a week, if he continues to improve.”
Phillip nodded, “Thank you,” he said, “When… when can we see him?” he asked quietly.
“He’s being taken to recovery for now, as soon as we have a room for him, we’ll let you know and you can see him. I ask that no young children go in at first.”
“But he will be able to see him at some point?” Eddie asked, “Chris loves and adores Evan.”
“Unca Evan owwie, and hurty. Like me,” Christopher nodded wisely, “He all sleepy, but be okay. Doctors are really good at making booboos better,” he added.
The doctor couldn’t help but smile at that, “Yes, we’re good, and your Unca Evan will be okay. He’s all sleepy like you said,” he smiled again at the little boy.
“See Unca Evan?” he asked.
“Not just yet,” the doctor told him, “He’s all sleepy, when he wakes, then you can go and see him,” he answered.
“Okay,” he nodded, leaning against his dad. “Daddy see Unca Evan and kiss booboo,” he told him.
“I will,” Eddie smiled at his son and kissed his forehead.
“If you’ll please wait here, I’ll have someone come and bring you to see him as soon as he’s settled into a room,” the doctor said, smiling at the group before leaving.
Lou slumped where he sat, “That fucker,” he muttered under his breath, those most of those in the room could hear him. “I’ll tell Athena what’s going on, she wanted to be informed. If that’s alright.”
“Of course it is,” Phillip agreed as he felt a hand on his back. Isabel was standing there, a small smile on her face, “Isabel,” he greeted.
“He’s a strong boy,” she told him, “He’s going to be just fine,” she added, feeling relieved that Evan would be okay.
“He has us all to help him get back on his feet,” Edmundo said as the doors to the waiting room opened, and Eric and his family headed inside.
“So sorry for taking so long,” Eric said as he looked and sounded breathless like he had been running. His parents sounded much the same.
“It’s okay, he’s out of surgery and should be fine,” Phillip told them as Eric went over and hugged him, “He really is going to be okay,” he added.
“Course he is, he’s Evan,” Eric said with all the confidence in the world.
“What did the doctors say?” Coco asked as she walked over, putting a hand on her son’s back as she looked at Phillip.
Phillip quickly explained and told them everything that the doctor had said when he had come to them. “We’ll be able to see him shortly.”
“That’s good,” Darren said, closing his eyes in relief that Evan would be fine. The three had been in Santa Monica with family as Coco’s niece celebrated her birthday.
“We’re all going to be there to help,” Coco added as Darren wrapped his arms around her, both taking comfort as they worried for Evan.
“Yeah,” Phillip nodded, “We are,” he added as he looked over at Lou. “You alright?” he asked him.
Lou looked up and nodded, “Yeah. He…” he got up, aware of little ears, and walked over to the group. Eddie handed Christopher to Shannon, even though the three-and-a-half-year-old protested the move.
“What?” Eddie asked him, “Something else is going on?”
Lou sighed, “He had to kill, and I don’t know if that registered at all before he went unconscious. Killing for the first time, no matter how justified, is hard to live with. Especially as we’re meant to protect people, I found it extremely hard and I have to admit I came close to quitting being a cop at the time. This… this is the point where a lot of people would quit. They realize that this isn’t for them.”
“I know Evan’s been thinking about stopping, changing career,” Eddie confessed, “He’s talked to me about it a couple of times. I’ve told him to finish out the case and see how he feels about it being over.”
Lou nodded, “Yeah, I’ve been hearing him mutter about it a few times. He was back on patrol, flying solo and partnering with Athena occasionally,” he sighed.
“All we can do is wait and see what Evan decides,” Darren told them all, “It’s up to him in the end if this is what he wants to keep doing. He has time, he’s young, he’s fine to change careers as often as he pleases. I know I did,” he smiled a little.
The door opened and a nurse walked in, “Mr Buckley has been taken to a room, I can take you there, but as was mentioned earlier, no children allowed just yet. But you’re free to spend a few minutes with him. Please though, do let him rest. He shouldn’t wake until the evening,” she informed them all before taking them to where Evan’s room was.
Chapter Eighteen
Evan had been in the hospital for three days and he was doing just fine. According to his doctors, he was improving each day, and he should be able to go home in another two days. Evan had been happy to hear that since Eddie only had a week’s leave before having to go back. He was spending time with Christopher but also coming to visit when he could, bringing Christopher with him twice. The toddler had happily fallen asleep on Evan, as soon as he found a place that wouldn’t upset Evan’s booboo according to him.
“You alright?” Darren asked as he walked into the room.
“I feel… like I’m going to suffocate if I stay here any longer,” Evan confessed, looking at his hands that were bunched in the blanket on top of him.
“Well, almost home now, a couple more days and you’ll be suffocated in a different way,” he smiled as he sat down, “Now, you said you needed someone to talk to,” he told him, reminding Evan of the call he had made.
“I just… I need some advice,” he began, not sure where he should start.
“Alright, that I can do,” Darren nodded and waited for Evan to begin.
“I like being a officer, and I like helping people. But when… I woke up and I knew that I had killed someone and that really didn’t sit right with me. It really doesn’t…” he trailed off, shaking his head a few times as he settled against his pillows and closed his eyes.
Darren reached out and took a hand, “I know, Eddie and Lou both said that you might find it hard. I can’t really understand, but they do, I think you need to talk to them and Athena. They’ve all had to kill someone, in self-defence, in order to save a life. You had to do the same,” he pointed out to him, his words gentle.
“I know. I know it was either I shoot him or I would’ve ended up dead,” he sighed, looking at Darren, “I’ll… talk to Lou and Athena. Eddie might be able to understand, but he… he knows it a different way in my eyes.”
“He signed up for war, he signed up knowing he was going to have to kill. Signing up as a cop, it’s a theory and there are cops out there that have never had to even draw their weapon,” he said, getting a nod from Evan in that was how he was thinking.
“Yeah,” he sighed, “I’ll talk to them, I promise. I just… I don’t know if I should carry on as a cop. Do you think I should?”
“How do you feel, at this moment, about picking up your weapon and having to aim it at someone?” Darren asked instead of answering his question.
Evan shuddered, “Not good, really not good.”
“Then I think you have your answer,” he pointed out slowly, squeezing Evan’s hand.
Evan’s eyes filled with tears, “I worked so hard. I put so much work into it and I… I don’t… I kinda don’t wanna lose it all. But I know that picking up a weapon again. I don’t think I could do it. Not now, not after that.”
“Then maybe take some time, talk to someone professionally. It might be time to hang up the badge, but you also have the chance to take some time and just… be you for a bit. You worked hard on a case for around eight months; a case that took a lot out of you. We all could see the cracks, and were trying to help.”
“I know you were,” Evan said, “Talking with you all, each time I thought about stopping, helped me keep going just that little bit longer. But you’re right, I need some time to process. Maybe I’ll never be able to be a police officer again, but I think maybe I can take some time to just think about what I want to do. I love this job, but I don’t think I can keep doing it.”
“You want to help people?” Darren asked him.
“Yeah, that’s what I want to do.” Evan nodded a few times. “I want to help. I like helping people.”
“There are so many different jobs that you can do that. You could always go the medical route, firefighting, dispatch, or anything. You could even go back to college for a while,” Darren suggested a few things for him to try. “For now though, instead of worrying about that, focus on getting better and back on your feet.”
Evan nodded. “Yeah, yeah, I’ll see what happens later. Let’s put it aside. Let me put it aside.”
“It’s a good idea for now,” Darren smiled, “Now, how are things going with Eddie?” he asked, changing the topic and seeing Evan lighting up at the talk of his boyfriend.
XxXxX
Eddie helped Evan onto the couch and eased him down. Evan sighed in relief as he finally sank into the soft furnishings. “Better?” Eddie asked as he knelt in front of him.
Evan smiled, “Yeah, glad to be home. Though I wish I had more time with you, we only have today, and then you’re going to be heading back,” he murmured as Eddie looked at him, taking the time to grab the afghan and covering him with it.
“I know, and I wish as well, but at least I was able to come home to be here with you for a bit,” Eddie said as he tucked the blanket around Evan and got up, “Now, rest a little. I know Chris wants to come and see you, and while you’re healing nicely, you’re still in pain. I’ve warned him that he needs to be careful,” he added as he began to go around the living room of Evan’s home and clean it up. Eddie, Lou, and Eric had spent two days getting as much of the blood from the carpets as possible, only to decide to rip it up and replace it all.
Evan looked around, shuddering a little as he didn’t know if he wanted to remain there, “Eddie,” he said quietly.
Eddie stopped what he was doing, “Yeah?” he asked as he then saw the look of almost panic that was now on Evan’s face. Eddie bit back a curse, Lou had warned him that what had happened hadn’t fully hit Evan yet. It might not be until he got home. “It’s okay, Evan,” he said as he rushed over, kneeling before him once more, not touching him.
“Eds,” Evan said again, his voice sounding odd as he looked at Eddie, “I don’t think I can stay here.”
“Alright,” he nodded, thinking for a few moments on where they could go. “How about I call Abuela and see about them hosting us for a while?” he asked, reaching out and letting Evan take his hand, “There we go, I’ll ask her, and she’ll say yes. She already wanted to come over to mother hen you,” he said, keeping his tone light.
Evan gave a sharp nod, “Please.”
Eddie nodded, keeping hold of Evan’s hand. The younger man had it in a death grip. As though letting go would cause harm to his world, and maybe at that moment, it would. “Abuela,” he greeted as soon as the call connected, “I’m really sorry, but would Evan and I be able to stay with you for a bit?” he asked her.
“Of course neito,” she said, “Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, we’re not comfortable here at the moment, not with everything,” Eddie said vaguely.
“Alright, I understand, I’ll get the guest room ready for you both. No shenanigans in my home though,” she warned in a teasing tone.
“Abuela!” Eddie said, going a little red, “he’s hurt, not going to happen for a while,” he muttered as Evan gave him a curious look.
“I know, I tease, bring him here and Edmundo and I shall have the room ready for you both and lunch being readied,” she said.
“Thank you, Abuela,” he said as they ended their call with a goodbye and a love you.
“Is it really okay? This is my home…” he said, though he no longer felt like it was. His home, his sanctuary had been violated and he had been attacked on its doorstep and within his home.
“It’s alright, Evan,” Eddie said as he got up again and kept hold of the hand and sat on the couch beside Evan.
Evan looked at him before leaning towards him, being careful of his side, which was still hurting. Eddie opened his arms and let the young man fall into them. He held Evan as he began to cry.
“I can’t…” Evan trailed off, fists gripping onto the henley that Eddie was wearing.
“It’s alright, we’ll figure things out. Even if it means you moving somewhere else. We can all understand it, we all hate the fact that you almost… you could have died here,” Eddie said, stumbling a little.
Evan cried and let his feelings about what had happened finally loose. He had been bottling it up since it had happened. Not wanting to let his dad or any of the others know about the turmoil that was going on in his head. Now, finally home and confronted with what had happened. The way that it had changed. He could tell that something had been moved. Someone had painted one area of his home, he could still smell the lingering paint fumes. The carpet was also new. He knew that should he rip it up, the flooring below it might be stained with his blood and in another area, it would be stained by Owlsen’s blood. His world had changed and it hadn’t been a good change.
XxXxX
Evan was wide awake, lying in bed. Beside him was Eddie. The family quickly helped Evan get some of his things from his home and took them to the Diaz home. Edmundo and Isabel had been quick to welcome him back home. Both of them made sure that he felt warm and fuzzy with the way they fussed over him, making sure that he was okay and comfortable. It had gotten late, an impromptu BBQ in the garden with the rest of the family, and Athena and her family and Lou, coming over to see Evan. Now it was hours later and Evan had woken from a nightmare. Doing his best to be quiet.
“It’s okay,” Eddie murmured, half asleep as he rolled over and placed a reassuring and weighted hand onto Evan’s chest as it rose and fell quickly.
“I can’t… I don’t want to sleep,” he murmured as he moved around so he was now facing Eddie.
Eddie moved closer, pulling Evan into his arms, “I know. When… When I killed someone for the first time, I threw up. I felt like an idiot for it, but honestly, I was horrified about what I had just done. It’s going to take time, and you promised that you would find someone to talk to. Please, please, Ev, do it,” he begged him, eyes open fully now and the sleep that had been in his voice gone.
“I can’t go back there, either,” he added, “I just-” Evan felt like his whole life was being turned on its head and he had no control of it at all.
“Then you don’t have to. Look for a place for yourself, another home that you can love, one that hasn’t been tainted by the violence that one now has. I will admit to you, that I found it hard being in there, knowing what could have happened to you,” Eddie said, his voice quiet and understanding.
“You…” Evan sighed and closed his eyes, “It’s nice to know that I’m not alone in feeling like that place is no longer a home.”
“You’re not, I think a lot of us are feeling the same, but we didn’t want to make you feel like you had to move because of us,” Eddie told him, “But I know I leave soon, but we can look at a few places online, so when you’re ready, you’ll be able to go and look at them, and find that perfect home for yourself.”
“For us,” Evan said, “it’s a home for us. So I want your input. I’ll email you the listings so that you can at least look and see what you would like as well,” he said.
Eddie smiled, moving closer and kissing him. “Then we’ll look for the perfect place for us,” he agreed.
“Yeah,” Evan said, starting to relax a little more as he snuggled closer to Edie. Eddie smiled warmly as he rubbed Evan’s back and let themselves, finally drift into a restful sleep.
Chapter Nineteen
Evan opened the email that Eddie had sent him. It had been less than a week, and Evan was already missing having his boyfriend there with him. Evan was taking it easy, or as easy as he could. He was still on medical leave at the moment, but he knew in his heart that he wouldn’t be able to go back. He would be meeting with Captain Maynard in a few weeks, when he was due to head back to work.
Evan shook his head, getting rid of the thoughts beginning to plague him again. He concentrated on the email that Eddie had sent him. It was full of listings for homes for them to move into. He has been looking, sending a few for Eddie to have a look at. This was the list that he had sent back, four properties out of the nine that he had sent him. Four were deemed suitable enough, but the final say would lay with Evan. He clicked up the first one and went through it. Looking at the points for and against the place that Eddie had listed thanks to the photos and virtual walkthrough of the property he was able to do out there.
“Okay,” he murmured to himself as he could hear Isabel moving around in the kitchen. He was still living with Isabel and Edmundo, and neither of them minded that he was there. But he was starting to crave his own space again, wanting a home for himself and for Eddie once more. They had told him and made sure that he knew he was welcome to stay there until he found a place for himself.
He went through the ones that Eddie had sent back and booked viewings for two of them. The cons for the other two outweigh the pros for them. The main one was the way it would need to be renovated for Christopher should he stay with them. Evan looked up as someone knocked on the bedroom door. He got up and opened it. “Hi, Dad,” he said as he opened it wide.
“Isabel and Edmundo are wondering if you’re going to hibernate in there for the rest of fall and winter?” he asked, keeping his tone light, but Evan could detect the worry within it.
“Sorry,” he winced. “I… haven’t really been feeling very social,” he admitted quietly.
“We know,” Phillip told him, “Come on, you need to come out of that room at some point. I think we’re all forgetting what you look like,” he said as he ushered his son from the bedroom and to the living room.
“Unca Evan!” Christopher laughed and giggled as he spotted him.
“Hey, little man,” Evan said as he went over and gave the three-year-old a cuddle. Evan felt himself relaxing a little more as he saw that Isabel and Edmundo were the only other two in the room. “Where’s Shannon?” he asked.
“She dropped him off when we told her that we needed to cheer up Unca Evan,” Isabel smiled, “My bisneito is the best at doing that. So she dropped him off and she said she’d spend a little time with that man of hers.”
Evan pursed his lips and made a face. He wasn’t keen on this man, as so far no one had met him. Shannon had been the only one, and she hadn’t taken Christopher to meet him yet. They had been together for several months now. “I’m going to ask her to bring him around, but I don’t want Chris to be there,” he murmured to the three adults.
“I can understand, how about I take Christopher out for the day,” Phillip said, “it’s been a while since I was able to do so,” he added as he looked at Christopher.
“That should be fine,” Evan nodded as they made quick plans to talk with Shannon and meet this mystery man of hers.
“So what have you been doing?” Isabel asked him as they sat down on the couches and chairs. Christopher was on the floor, playing with his toys, leaning against Evan’s leg.
“Looking at places to live. I know you said that I can stay here as long as I need. But I really… I need to find a place for myself as well. I need to move on,” Evan said, rushing his words as he didn’t want to make Isabel and Edmundo think he was being ungrateful for all that they were doing for him.
“Of course, you’re a young man, of course you want your own place,” she smiled, reassuring him that there was nothing for him to be worried about.
“Yeah,” he smiled, “I have therapy tomorrow,” he told them, “I’ll be gone for a couple of hours.”
“How about I drive you there,” Phillip said, knowing that his son wasn’t yet cleared to drive. While it had been two weeks since his injury, twisting the wrong way often left him in more pain than he normally was.
“Thanks, that would be great,” Evan smiled at his dad. “Did you pick up my mail?” he asked.
“Yeah,” he nodded and handed them over. “There is one for Hershey,” he warned him, “You know what that could be.”
“Doug,” Evan said as he shuffled through the mail and came to the letter that Phillip had warned him about. He opened it and nodded, “Yeah, he’s been released,” he said quietly, and a shiver of fear went through him. “I just… they want to do a restraining order for him. But he doesn’t know where I live. They want to use my address for it…” he trailed off.
“Normally that would be the case, so they know where they are not allowed to be. However, it can be hidden, if that is what you want,” Phillip told him, “I can sort that out for you,” he added, “I don’t mind going out there and making sure that Kendall doesn’t come near you ever again.”
“I… as long as it can be done without having to use an address, even an old one, or even what state I’m in, then go for it. I don’t want my location on record for Doug or Maddie to find,” he said, feeling the tendrils of panic beginning to build up in him. Just the thought of either of them knowing where he was, even the general area was scaring him.
Phillip nodded, “It’s going to be fine. I’ll make sure that no one will find out where you are… Or where I am either. Maddie knows who to get in touch with to get out of the marriage with Doug when she needs it. It’s not a case of if, it will be a when.”
“Thanks, Dad,” he nodded.
Evan wanted to get down on the floor and play with his godson, but he knew getting back up would be a bit of a problem at the moment, so he moved a little to the edge and began to play. Letting his dad, Isabel, and Edmundo talk a little, before Isabel got up to start lunch.
XxXxX
Evan walked out of the therapist’s office with a slump to his shoulders. Five weeks after the attack, and almost in September, Evan had a diagnosis of PTSD from the attack. But it wasn’t just that attack, it was the one from his mother and Doug that hadn’t helped him at all. He was still living with Isabel and Edmundo, but he had finally found a home that he knew he and Eddie could grow into, and that Christopher would love. It was mostly like his old house, but there was an extra bedroom and bathroom.
He had no one waiting for him this time. His dad had finally headed to Hershey to deal with Doug and Maddie, and the restraining order. He felt overwhelmed with everything and he didn’t know which way he should turn. He had effectively ended his career as a cop. He couldn’t raise a weapon. He’d gone to the range, but as soon as he’d picked up his gun he’d started to shake. Lou had been with him, and he’d taken it from him and held him through the panic that was bubbling beneath the surface.
Evan got in his car and sat there, letting the words his therapist had said sink in. They would be going over techniques in the next session to try and stop or ease a PTSD episode. At least he had a name for what was going on with his brain this time. His ADHD hadn’t helped, he was obsessing and focusing on the bad things that had happened, on everything that he felt was going wrong at that moment. He started the car up and headed to Lou’s place, knowing that the other man would be off duty. He felt the need to be around someone.
Evan didn’t really remember the drive from his doctors to Lou’s apartment complex. But as soon as he arrived he stumbled towards the main door and buzzed the apartment.
“Yes,” came Lou’s voice over the intercom.
“It’s me, Evan,” Evan said, his voice shaking and he choked a little over his words.
“Evan,” he said, worry in his voice at the way his ex sounded. “Come on up,” he said as Evan could hear someone else in the background.
Evan ignored it and headed inside. Going up to the second floor where Lou’s apartment was and knocking on the door. Evan couldn’t help but jump as the door opened. Lou stood there.
“L… Lou,” he began, trying not to cry.
Lou frowned at the state that Evan was in and pulled him into his arms. just holding him for a while as he got him into the apartment and closed the door behind them. Evan didn’t notice at first that there was someone else in the apartment with them.
Evan’s eyes went wide as he saw someone else. “I… I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have… I should go,” he said as he began to struggle in Lou’s arms.
“Stop,” Lou told him, “You came here for a reason, I know you.”
“I can go if you need me to?” the guy said.
“No, please, you shouldn’t, not because of me,” Evan said, shaking his head as he stopped struggling.
“It’s alright, Tommy,” Lou told him, “Evan, what’s wrong?” he then asked, “If you want to talk privately we can go to my room.”
“I…” Evan began, not sure what he should do. He knew that Tommy might just understand what he was going through. “Maybe… he’ll understand,” he said quietly as Lou guided him over to the couch and got him to sit down.
Tommy got up from where he had been sitting and moved closer as Lou sat beside Evan, helping to ground him. “What is it?” Tommy was the one who asked.
“PTSD,” Evan said, “She said I have PTSD from the attack, but also from what happened before with Doug and Margaret. That all of them just… muddled together and it’s hard. It’s hard and I just want to be like before, like it was before. I want my career back, I want to do something and instead, I’m isolating myself in my room at Abuela’s and not wanting to go anywhere. It doesn’t help that Doug’s free now. He’s free and my stupid fucking sister is still blaming me for it all. I hate this,” he said as the tears started to fall. “I just… I can’t be alone, not… not at the moment. It’s all too much, it’s too much.”
“And we’re right here, we’re right here with you; everyone is,” Lou said as he pulled the crying man into his arms as he broke down fully and clung to him.
Tommy got up and went to the other side, “Yeah, it’s been a struggle for me too,” he admitted, “To know that someone I trusted with my life for so long wanted to take it.”
Evan nodded as he glanced at him. “Th… thank you,” he hiccuped as he tried to get himself under control.
Lou just held him and rocked him. “You’re staying here tonight, alright,” he said as he looked at Tommy.
“Yeah,” Tommy agreed, “Stay here, be with friends, and those that can understand. We’ll watch stupid movies, eat buttered popcorn, and chill.”
“He got you on that too?” Evan gave a weak laugh.
“He did,” Tommy nodded, smiling at him.
Evan smiled back, feeling a little safer with the two of them, though he was still overwhelmed with everything, he knew that Lou would take care of him, and that Tommy understood where he was coming from.
Chapter Twenty
Evan parked his car in his driveway and got out. He looked at the house he had lived in for the last couple of years; he was sad to part with it. He had made some happy memories there, but now they were tainted, tainted in a way that made it hard for him to be in the house for long. He sighed heavily as he walked up the path. Unlocking the door, he walked in. It felt stale inside, unlived in. He hadn’t been living there for a couple of weeks now. This was only the second time he had gone back since he’d told Eddie he couldn’t stay there anymore. He looked around, there were boxes dotted around. He had gone there without anyone knowing, trying to pack some of his things away. There was a library of books to pack, since his dad had ended up bringing all of the books from his childhood home to LA a year ago.
Evan closed his eyes, forcing himself to breathe evenly as he waited out the slight panic that started to build again. “I’m not staying, just cleaning out and packing up,” he repeated to himself, as though that would stop the feelings that were bubbling just beneath the surface. He forced it away once more as he opened his eyes and looked around. “Let’s get started,” he muttered to himself as he went toward the bedroom. Part of him wished he had gone through the back door instead of going through the front. He could have avoided the flood of emotions that he had felt as soon as he had walked into the house.
Evan looked around the room and then started to pull out the things that he had left behind. Sorting them out before putting them either into boxes or bags to be taken to the charity shops. He didn’t know how long he had been working for, but he had moved from his room to the guest room, stripping the bed that was there and putting on a load of laundry to be washed and dried. Evan jumped when he heard his front door open. Eyes going wide and reaching for a gun that was no longer there, he took a protective stance as he waited for whoever it was.
“Evan!” Phillip called out, “Evan!” he called again when he got no answer. This time, there was worry in his voice as he began to look around.
“D… Dad,” Evan stammered out, “I…” he began, shaking himself as he relaxed a little and went to greet him.
“Hey,” Phillip sighed as he saw that his son was okay. “You alright?” he asked, seeing that his son was a little pale.
“I’m sorry, Dad,” he said, sounding a little off to Phillips ears, “I was startled when I heard the door open and I thought the worst,” he murmured.
Phillip approached him and held out his arms, letting Evan decide if he stepped into them or not. Evan hesitated for a second before stepping into them. Phillip wrapped his arms around his son and held him, “It’s okay, Evan,” he murmured, “It’s okay.”
Evan shook his head, “No, Dad, it isn’t. It’s never going to be alright. I need to keep fighting, Dad, I have to, I have to, I don’t want to keep feeling like I’m not me anymore,” he muttered.
Phillip held him as he cried, grieving for a career that he had worked hard for, a home that he had loved, and was starting to build a family within.
XxXxX
Phillip looked through the letters that Daniel had written. There were a few more for Evan, and one of the last ones would be given to him when it was Phillips’ time to pass. A letter that he and Daniel had written together. Some were for birthdays, but three more were for specific points in Evan’s life. The one he was after was for when Evan felt like his world was ending, or he was seriously hurt or ill. He pulled it out of the little box that he had kept safe and hidden for so long. Away from Margaret, and her need to destroy anything that Daniel had left behind. He sighed as he looked at it and closed his eyes. He didn’t know if the words inside would help Evan at the moment, but he knew his youngest son was feeling lost and even alone. Eddie was half a world away. And while Evan was spending time with his chosen family, it didn’t seem to be helping him that much.
He put the letter away and grabbed his phone, “Isabel,” he said as soon as the call connected, “I’m sorry to call out of nowhere, but I’m hoping I can come and see Evan. There’s something I need to give him and talk to him about,” he told her.
“Of course, do you need Edmundo and I to leave?” she asked, “We can always go to Pepa’s for a while, she’s been asking us to stop by.”
“I think it might be an idea, I think this might be a hard one for us to talk about,” he said quietly as he grabbed his car keys.
“Alright, you come here and we’ll leave now. Bring take out, I hadn’t started dinner,” she added.
Phillip laughed, “I will,” he said, “I think some Thai might be nice,” he murmured to himself as he headed out and ended the call with Isabel.
He arrived almost an hour and a half later, Thai takeout in hand, as he knocked on the door and waited for it to be answered.
Evan soon stood there, looking surprised to see his dad standing there.
“I bought take out,” he said with a smile on his face as he added, “Thai, we haven’t had that in a while.”
Evan slumped a little and then smiled, “Yeah, come on in, dad,” he said as he stepped aside and let his dad into the Diaz home. He closed the door as they made their way to the kitchen. Evan and Phillip set out their dinner and sat at the small table in the kitchen.
“Need help packing a little more?” Phillip asked as they began to eat.
“Yeah, I think I will. I need to get a storage place as well, to store a few things. I’m going to be putting it up on the market soon, to get it sold before I start buying again,” he added, “Though I’m looking.”
“It’s good to look, I know that you’re planning to keep Eddie in the loop as well,” Phillip said as he took a bite of his food. He hummed in appreciation of the taste for a moment, before laughing as Evan gave him that little amused look when ever he did it.
“Yeah, I’ve sent him a few listings that I’m looking at, to get an idea of what the two of us want,” he added, a smile on his face as he talked about the things that he and Eddie had been going over for their joint home.
When dinner was cleared up, they headed into the living room with some coffee.
“I came here for another reason,” Phillip said, “A letter,” he told Evan as he pulled it out.
“A letter…” Evan said as he slowly reached for it.
“Yeah, I think this might help a little,” he told him, “I hope it does,” he added as he let his son take it.
“Okay,” he murmured, not sure that anything would help him feel right about things.
Dear Evan
I was thinking a few days ago, how hard it could be to do some things. I won’t be facing the world as an adult. I know I’m going to die, and I know it’s going to happen soon. I’m shaking a lot, and I’m so tired. Mom is still trying to make me go through with treatment, and I don’t want to, Evan. I don’t. I wish I could live, I do, and I think… I’m not scared anymore. I’m not, I’m going to miss so much. I’m never going to know what you look like when you’re older, what your favorite baseball team is. What your favorite color is, everything. I’m never going to know, and that is what hurts me. It makes me feel bad, horrible, and sad.
I don’t want to leave you, I don’t want to have to say goodbye. I want to live, to keep fighting, but I don’t have anything to keep fighting with. I’m so tired, Evan, and I hate it. I do, I’m not scared, but I also am, because I won’t be able to see you and Maddie, and Dad and Mom. I’m going to miss you all so much. But Evan, sometimes, you have to fight, but you need to know that sometimes, not fighting is a good answer too. I want to fight, I do, to be there for you. I love you so much, and I want to be there, like a big brother should. To protect you from the bad things in the world. Because there are so many bad things in the world. I think I’m done fighting now, though. I’m tired and I just want to cuddle with you and Maddie, and have fun, for what time I have left.
Do what is right for you, Evan, fight for what you want, but make sure you ask for help if you need it. Know that I fought a lot, but it’s time to stop for me. I love you so much. I do, Evan, like I love Maddie, and Mom and Dad. I love you all.
Danny
Evan wiped away a few tears. “He didn’t want…”
“Of course not,” Phillip said as he went over and hugged his youngest son. “He never wanted to leave, but he was done with his fight. He had been for a long time. Margaret pushed and pushed him to keep going well past when he should have stopped. It hurt him and scared him in ways I don’t think I’ll ever be able to understand. He tried so hard to be there when he found out Margaret was pregnant with you.”
“He loved me a lot, and wanted to fight, but was tired. He said… to ask for help,” he murmured as he began to fold it and tuck it away in the envelope again.
“Yeah, he asked for help in getting his mother to stop, and I did. She hated me for it for so long, and I don’t think she ever stopped hating me for it. He knew to ask for help,” he said softly, “Please, if you need help, we’re all here for you.”
Evan nodded sharply, “I… I know, I know you are dad, but I just… I lost everything, Dad.”
“You haven’t, you haven’t. We’re all still here for you, we’re all still around. Jobs can change, a lifestyle can change, anything can. But those who love you, those who care about you, are right here beside you. You lost something I know you worked hard at. But know this, Evan Buckley, you still have so much more to offer this world. You have Eddie, Chris, Shannon, and Janet. Eric is here, Coco and Darren too,” he reminded him of all the people who were there for him. “You have so many that love you, and honestly, Evan, take some time to just be you for a bit. Not the cop, not always working. Just do something that feels like fun, for you. We’re right here, never going to leave,” he murmured.
Evan’s breath hitched before he finally started to cry. Phillip held his son as he sobbed into his arms. Finally letting out all the pent-up emotions he’d had around the loss of his job, Evan finally let go. He was heartbroken at losing the career he’d worked so hard for, knowing that he wouldn’t be able to go back to being an officer. In the house a few days ago, when he reached for his gun, he’d done so automatically, but it had also scared him. Scared him that he would do that, pull his gun on someone without knowing who they were. Slowly, his tears subsided.
“Feel better?” Phillip asked, a soft smile on his face.
“Yeah,” Evan gave a wet snort as Phillip handed his son some tissues to clean himself up with. “I didn’t want it to be real, but reading that, reading what Danny said. I knew I can’t fight it, I really can’t, and I think part of me wanted to. I think I need to talk to my therapist again,” he murmured, “I’ve been avoiding talking about it, about not going back. Even though I keep going over it in my head, and even saying it. I-”
“Wasn’t really ready to let it go until now,” Phillip nodded, “I know. We’re here to help, in any way you need us, just make sure to ask and don’t hide from us.”
“Yeah,” Evan smiled, “Thanks… Dad,” he murmured.
Chapter Twenty-One
Evan sighed, it had been a harsh and turbulent two weeks. He was feeling better, though he’d been given some medication to help with the anxiety he had been feeling on top of his PTSD and the depression at feeling like he wasn’t doing anything. He still wasn’t feeling great, but he had decided to make a change. He’s signed himself up for classes at the university, this time concentrating on disaster management. It was something to do, and it sounded interesting to him. In the first group of classes they would be learning about risk assessment; how to properly gauge the risk involved in any type of action.
Evan hoped that it would keep his interest and just help him start to feel like he was back in charge of his life, instead of everything else being in charge. His life felt like a spiral at the moment, and not just because he was researching the most random and inane things he could find just to pretend he was his normal self. He was working hard with his therapist again, doing what he could to get back the life he had felt was being taken from him, even if it wouldn’t be exactly the same as it had, it would still be his life. Evan’s phone dinged as a message came through. Pulling it out and reading it, he sent one back. Shannon wanted him to come to her home, her boyfriend of several months was there and finally ready to meet him.
Evan sent word to Isabel, who he knew was watching over Christopher that afternoon. Telling her that Shannon was finally introducing the boyfriend to him. He still wasn’t sure what to make of the man. He’d never even met him, and there was just something that Shannon was saying that sent up several red flags. It was beginning to feel like Maddie and Doug all over again. This time he was determined to make sure that Shannon got out of that, and this guy was warned away.
He arrived at the Whitt home and got out of the car. Evan decided that it would be best to knock for now. So he did and waited for the door to be answered. He smiled as he saw Shannon, “Hey, Shannon,” he greeted, hugging her as he always did.
“Hi,” she said, acting a little nervous as she glanced over her shoulder. Behind her was the man that she had been dating.
“And you must be Evan,” the man said, not looking impressed.
“I am,” he said, quickly getting the measure of the man before him. His arms were crossed, eyes narrowed as he watched Evan. “And you must be Travis,” he said with a nod.
“Come on in,” Shannon said as she ushered Evan inside. “Evan is Christopher’s godfather and Eddie’s partner,” she said as she got them both to go into the living room.
Evan could see she was nervous and there was something else in her eyes. Fear, he has seen it a few times with Maddie when she talked about Doug, when they were alone. “It’s good to finally meet you. I’ve been hoping to for a while. Especially since Shannon has Christopher, and I’m his godfather and his father’s partner, we’ll be seeing each other a lot. It’ll be nice to get to know you,” he said, with fake sincerity, not that the man clued into that.
“Yeah,” he said with a sneer appearing on his face as he sat down, “Shannon, get me a beer,” he demanded.
“I’ll come with, Shannon, I need some coffee. The lecture went on for a while,” Evan said as he refrained from sitting down and followed her to the kitchen. “Shannon,” he whispered, “He isn’t good for you,” he told her, “I know you want to protest and before you do. He reminds me of Doug. He demanded you get him something, not ask. He looked at me and then sneered when I mentioned Christopher. What the fuck is going on?” he asked her, being blunt. He promised himself that he wasn’t going to see Shannon go down the path that his sister had gone down.
“I…” Shannon began, “He wants me to give Chris up,” she murmured, “He doesn’t like it when I see my mom either.”
“Then fucking boot him,” he said, like it was the most obvious thing to do.
“I can’t, he…” she trailed off looking down, “he loves me.”
“Does he really? Or does he like to have control of you? He’s demanding that you not see your mom, that you give up Chris. What next, that you quit your job?” he asked her, “That you report to him where you are and who you’re with? That when you are out with someone he calls you constantly. Demanding that you return home?” he continued in a hushed whisper.
Shannon paused for a moment and then nodded.
“Then yeah, he’s not good. You need to boot him. Shannon, this is exactly how Doug started with Maddie. First the little things, and then making sure where she was all the time, then demanding and controlling what you do, who you see, how you dress. Anything else sounding familiar to you?” he asked, getting a nod.
“I need to break up with him, but I’ve been too scared, each time I’ve tried he… says things that make me feel like shit,” she confessed looking down at her feet.
“Emotional blackmail,” Evan told her, “it’s a common tactic. If you leave me I can’t deal with it, I’ll kill myself. Is that the line?”
Shannon sighed as she nodded again. “Yeah.”
“Then break up, and if you have anything that he’s sent you along that vein, then let me see. It could work in your favor if needed for a restraining order,” he told her, having a feeling that it would be needed.
“I do. I kept everything, voicemails, emails, messages, everything. I… I knew you would be disappointed in me if I didn’t,” she said, giving him a weak smile. “Right,” she said, straightening up, “I can do this. I faced the menaces that are Helena and Ramon Diaz, I can face down Travis Fields,” she said, feeling confident now that Evan was there.
“I’m going to have Athena and Lou clued into what is going on, so that they can be on hand if they’re needed. I would rather be safe than sorry about this,” he told her, getting a nod.
Shannon nodded back and then headed into the living room. “Travis, we need to talk,” she said as she could hear Evan nearby quietly talking to someone on the phone. She knew it would be Lou or Athena.
“I said get me a damn beer, can’t you hear?” he sneered as she walked into the room without it.
“We’re over,” she said quickly, feeling a flood of relief at saying the words aloud.
“You can’t do that, I told you. If-” he began as he started to stand.
“That you’ll kill yourself should I leave you?” she said, raising an eyebrow. “I was so stupid falling for it the first time. I knew better, I know better than to believe a two-faced bastard like you. You berate me, dictate what I do and who I see. You’re trying to drive me away from my son, and I won’t have it anymore. You’re gone from my life. I want you out of my home, away from me and I never want to see your face again.”
“No I won’t,” he snapped at her, taking a threatening step towards her as Evan stood in the doorway, a warning look on his face. “You’ll never have someone as good as me. I’m trying to fucking help you live your damn life.”
“No, you’re trying to take it away from me,” she told him, “and as for finding someone better than you. I already had that, pity that we weren’t compatible as a couple. Cus damn, you are lame compared to him, especially in the bedroom.”
“I’ll say he’s damn good in bed; so attentive to his partners needs and pleasure,” Evan grinned widely.
Shannon laughed, “Yeah, my fucking ex is a damn site better than you. I should have looked for someone better than you, I know my worth. And you aren’t even worth the dirt on my boots. Get out of my home!” she yelled at him as she gestured to the door.
“No I won’t, fucking whore, and he’s a fucking fag, should have known better than to go out with a fag’s whore,” he sneered as he took another step towards her.
“One more move and I’m going to have you arrested,” Evan warned him.
“Fuck that, you ain’t got nothing on me,” he snapped, glaring at Evan.
“I’ve got plenty on you,” he told him coldly, “Leave, and come near Shannon or the family again, and I’ll make sure that your life will be a living hell.”
“Like you could fucking do anything to me,” he said feeling sure of himself.
“He might not be able to, but I can,” Lou said as he walked in behind Evan, “Travis Fields, you have two arrest warrants out for you. Does explain why you waited until Evan was no longer with the LAPD to meet him,” he smirked, “But you forgot to take into account that he knows plenty of other police officers that can come and help. And he knows how to do a citizen’s arrest and can easily ask someone to find out more about you.”
Travis sneered and rushed at Evan. Evan rolled his eyes as he took a step forward, took the hand that was reaching for him, and quickly tossed the man over his shoulder. “Why do they seriously think that would work against someone that is trained to take out threats like that?” he asked. At least this time when someone rushed at him and attacked he was more prepared and not concussed like the last time.
“No idea, but it makes the job easier,” Lou laughed as he went over and handcuffed the dazed man.
Shannon was wide eyed, “He had arrest warrants?” she asked.
“Yeah, as soon as we had a name, we could check. Athena ran the background check and it quickly came up,” Lou told her.
“Right, remind me to do that the next time I start dating someone. Ask Athena to run a check,” Shannon huffed and leaned against the wall she was standing next to.
Lou got Fields up off the floor and began to escort him out as he read him his rights.
“It’s an idea,” Evan told her, “You okay?” he asked as he approached her.
“Yeah… I… I should have known,” she muttered, “I should see it, but by the time I did…” she trailed off, shaking her head and feeling stupid.
“It happens so slowly that we don’t always see it. Sometimes people don’t even realize until it’s too late. And some, when they do leave, face unimaginable danger. The statistics of domestic abuse are horrifying to read about,” he told her, “And I know my sister is in that type of situation and there is nothing me or my dad can do to help her because she doesn’t believe what he is doing to her. She doesn’t want to see it, and until she is ready to see it, to realize that he is just going to keep getting worse until he kills her, she won’t leave him. She believes that the last time he hurt her will be the last, because he’ll apologize, and treat her like a princess for a day or two, before going back to hurt her.”
Shannon nodded, “Thanks,” she said, smiling at him, “Thank you, for stopping me from going down that path and reminding me that I don’t have to settle for the first guy that comes across my path that pays attention to me.”
“What do you say to picking up Chris and taking him to that soft play restaurant that he likes us to go to?” Evan suggested, seeing that Shannon could still do with some cheering up after what had happened.
“Yeah, I like that idea,” she sighed as she wondered, “Do I have to talk to Lou about what happened?”
“If you do, he’ll get in contact. For now, Fields has been arrested on outstanding warrants. We’ll see what that shakes out first. If it’s needed, then we’ll present what we have and ask for charges to be pressed if they can be, and a protection order to be obtained,” he told her, “now go and get ready,” he smiled.
Shannon nodded, “Alright,” she smiled back as she got ready. The two headed to Isabel’s home to get Christopher to take him out for dinner.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Thanksgiving came and went, and family and friends gathered to celebrate. Christopher once more missed his dad over the holidays. Christmas had been easier to deal with as, just like he promised, he had been home for the week around Christmas, but he had told Evan and Shannon that he might not be able to do it next year, as someone else would like the slot to be home for their own family for the holidays. Now, February was fast approaching and the almost four-year-old Christopher was excited, almost bouncing around as much as he could with his gait trainer. His dad would be coming home for his birthday. As he had done since he was a baby.
Evan’s course was going well, and as he parked the car into the driveway of his new home, he glanced at Eddie, “Well,” he said as he began to get out, “What do you think?” he asked, feeling nervous.
Eddie looked at the home, it was an older style of home but restored and looking beautiful. “It looks great,” he said, “It’s amazing, Ev,” he added as the two met in front of Evan’s car to walk the rest of the way to the front door.
Evan pulled out the key, “Here, why don’t you let us in,” he suggested.
“Have you been in here at all?” Eddie frowned.
“I’ve not stayed here yet,” Evan confessed, “It didn’t feel right to have my first night here without you. Abuela and Abuelo have been really kind and let me remain with them as I got this place decorated and done up so that Christopher will be easily able to get around with his gait trainer,” he told him as Eddie took the key.
“So, just us tonight?” Eddie asked.
“Yep, Shannon will be dropping Christopher off in the morning, and he’ll be staying with us during your time home. I think she needs a bit of her time. Janet’s been secretive for a while, and Shannon’s going to confront her fully this week,” Evan told him.
“Right,” he nodded, “Shannon’s mentioned that a few times when I’ve called her to talk with Chris and her.”
“Yeah, she’s worried, and I think… something has happened and Janet’s trying to hide it, and that’s why she moved out last year,” he said as Eddie unlocked the door.
Evan was about to step inside when he felt himself being picked up. “What the hell!” he yelped out, clinging onto Eddie who just laughed.
“I know this is more for after the wedding, but…” Eddie said as he carried Evan into their home.
Evan laughed, “Propose and maybe you can do it again,” he grinned, “Or maybe I can do it back,” he said, as he leaned closer and kissed him.
Eddie returned the kiss as he slowly let him stand on his feet, “I love you,” Eddie said softly.
Evan leaned his forehead against Eddie’s, “I love you too, so much.”
Eddie smiled as pulled him in for a kiss, this time a little more heated as Evan guided them to their room.
XxXxX
Eddie and Evan smiled as they walked over to the table that was already half full. Evan sat down and smiled at Tommy and Lou, “Hey,” he greeted as Eddie joined him.
“Didn’t think I would be doing a double date,” Lou said as he smiled at the two.
“Neither did I,” Eddie agreed, “But I like it,” he added.
“How’s being back going?” Tommy asked, “I know when I was out there it was hard being back,” he said when he looked at Eddie.
“It’s good, I love being home, I do kinda miss being out there when I am. But the short time I’m here makes me appreciate it even more for me,” Eddie replied softly.
“I didn’t know you’re former Army,” Lou said quietly.
“More like I joined up as soon as I could. Served out there for a while, and started training as a pilot. Got shot down on one of my first solos. Transferred into the reserves for the rest of my time. Though I did go out twice during that time to run missions and such. I’m listed as part of the reserves for another year and then my contract is over,” Tommy answered him, “It’s not something that I really talk much about. Hell, no one at work knows I’m army-bound if they call me up.”
“I’ve been thinking about asking for a stateside posting after my tour is over,” Eddie said, “I want to be home more for Chris and Evan,” he added.
“It’ll be nice to have you home more,” Evan said, “If that’s what you want to do. You know Chris will be excited about it.”
“He may even get sick of having me around all the time,” Eddie joked, but Evan could see the hint of worry that his words were true, in his eyes.
“He’ll love it,” Evan repeated himself as the waiter came over and took their drinks order.
“He would,” Lou agreed, “Each time I’ve met him he talks nonstop about you. He misses you a lot, and loves it when you’re home.”
“Yeah,” Eddie nodded, “How are you doing, Tommy?”
“I’m doing good, I enjoy being a firefighter. I’m going for another cert soon, so I’m going to be away for a couple of days while I get it. Swift water,” he answered.
“Awesome,” Evan said as he began to answer questions about the disaster management course that he was taking.
The four ordered their food as they talked more about what was going on in their lives. Talking a little more about what Evan wanted to do after he finished his course. He was going to take some time to just be, for a while before thinking about what he wanted to do next. When the two couples split to go home, Evan and Eddie decided to go for a walk in the local park.
“I forgot to thank him,” Eddie said, shaking his head a little as they walked, arms around each other’s waists as they stuck to each other like glue
“Thank who?” Evan frowned.
“Tommy, I know you talked to him a lot over the last couple of months. Especially after what happened after Owlsen attacked. I know the two of you bonded over that. So I’m happy and thankful that he was there for you, to talk to, to be around. Same with Lou. How can I not be thankful to two people who helped the love of my life when he was hurting, and I couldn’t be there to comfort you and be there for you. And I know Phillip has been there for you as well,” he said, as he turned to look at Evan, standing in front of him.
Evan stopped walking before he could collide with Eddie, “Eds…” he trailed off, “You were there when you could be. You were half a world away in a war zone. And you were here for Christmas and helped then when I had a bad day. So don’t start this ‘I should be here’ what ifs again,” he said as he leaned in and kissed him, “You are where you are, and I don’t care as long as you promise to come home to me and Christopher, to your family, then I can live with you half a world away and in a warzone.”
“What would I do without you?” Eddie smiled at him.
“Probably be married to Shannon and living in El Paso. You only decided to cut them out and not marry Shannon because I showed you it was possible to cut toxic parents out of your life,” he grinned.
Eddie laughed, “You’re most likely right on that.”
“Come on, we should start getting home,” Evan said as he pulled Eddie around, and the two took a slow walk back to the parking lot.
XxXxX
Christopher’s birthday started with a bang, laughter, and giggles as Christopher enjoyed himself with his friends from daycare and Athena’s children. It was after the children started to get tired, and began to go home that things took a turn. Someone pounded on the front door of Isabel and Edmundo’s home, and Eddie and Evan shared a look. Both of them recognized the banging. Eddie had grown up with it, and Evan had heard it a lot while he lived with Edmundo and Isabel.
“Shannon, take Christopher out of the room,” Eddie was quick to tell her as Edmundo was the one who answered the door.
“You will not keep me from my grandchild any longer!” Helena yelled as she pushed past Edmundo, sending him flying against the wall and the small rack that was there for coats and keys.
“Ma’am,” Athena said, “I know for a fact that you weren’t invited, considering you just assaulted the homeowner, in front of two LAPD officers,” she began.
“Then you should arrest them for keeping my grandson from me,” she said as she began to look around. Seeing Christopher as he was being ushered from the room. “What have you done to him!” she screamed as she barrelled past everyone and to grab him.
Christopher cried out in alarm, “Mommy, Daddy!” he said as he struggled in this strange woman’s grip.
Athena and Lou shared a look. Athena went over and said, “Let him go, or I’ll be arresting you.”
Lou was standing back on the phone and asking for a patrol to head their way. Eddie strode past them, plucking his son from his mother’s grasp, glaring at her as he began to comfort Christopher. Ramon glared at Evan as the man helped Edmundo to his feet.
“Can we get an ambulance here,” Evan asked, as he could see that Edmundo had hit his head on something.
Eddie handed Christopher to Shannon and hurried over, “Abuelo?” he asked, as he knelt beside the now seated man. “Okay,” he said, forcing himself to calm down and get into the mindset of a medic as he began to assess his grandfather.
Lou looked up, “An RA unit is on the way, so is a patrol car,” he said as he looked at Evan.
“Good,” Evan said as he stalked over to Helena and Ramon. “Shannon, can you please take Christopher into the garden and remain there until we come and get you. He doesn’t need to hear any of this.”
“No, want Daddy and Belo!” Christopher screamed as Shannon took the struggling four-year-old out into the garden. The other children and some of the adults followed them out as well.
Evan turned on Helena and Ramon, eyes narrowed, “What the fuck were you thinking coming in here like that? Pushing aside an elderly man, who has health problems?” he demanded, “You have no fucking right to be here, you were not invited and no one on this side of the damn fucking family wants anything to do with either of you entitled assholes,” he hissed. “Now, since you decided to burst your fucking way in, you can deal with the damn consequences and the restraining order that will be slapped on you both. Because like fuck am I going to let either of you get away with the constant abuses that you pile on those around you.”
“You have no right,” Helena sneered as she advanced on Evan.
“But Shannon and I do. We slapped you with one before, remember, won’t be hard to do it a second time,” Eddie said as he glanced up from his checks, “Abuelo is okay, but I’d still like him to go to the hospital to make sure,” he added seeing Isabel looking worriedly at her husband.
Isabel, hearing those words from her grandson, turned to her son. “You’re no longer welcome in my home or my life, Ramon. I wash my hands of you and the bitch you married. You’re not the son I raised with love and care. You’ve disappointed me for the last time Ramon Diaz.”
Sirens heralded the arrival of an ambulance and the officers that were called in for backup. Athena informed them what had happened and Helena was arrested for assault and trespass, with Ramon protesting as she was taken away. Isabel went with Edmundo, while Eddie and Evan followed in the car, Lou and Athena, along with Pepa saying goodbye to the guests.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Eddie had gone back overseas, and Evan missed having him home like he was missing a limb most of the time. The calls and letters they still exchanged gave him a little something as February came to an end. Evan jumped as he made himself dinner. Someone was knocking on his door. A frantic and panicky knock. He rushed up and opened the door. “Shannon?” he frowned as he saw her, Christopher crying in her arms, unsure of what the hell was going on with his mom.
“I, can you take him? I can’t…” Shannon said, her words spaced between sobs as she handed Christopher over.
“Mommy!” Christopher yelled out, trying to reach for her as they went inside. Shannon went to the couch and burst into tears and Christopher struggled to go and comfort his mother.
“Hey, hey, buddy, I need you to calm down. I’ll help Mommy, okay? I’ll help her, but I need you to be calm first,” he said as he tried to calm Christopher by taking him from the room and going to Christopher’s bedroom. He rocked the young boy for a few moments as he exhausted himself and slipped into a fitful sleep. He laid the kid down, making sure to turn on the monitor and take the other one so he could keep an eye on him as he went out to speak with Shannon.
“Shannon,” he said as he entered the living room, seeing her still sobbing on the couch.
“It’s back, the cancer is back. It has been for months and she didn’t tell me,” she said as he joined her on the couch and pulled her into his arms. “She didn’t tell me, Evan. She’s dying, she’s dying and I can’t do anything to stop it. I can’t help her,” she sobbed brokenly as she clung to him.
Evan rocked her and rubbed her back. There was nothing he could say that would make anything better. Janet was dying and now he understood why she had been visiting so many of her friends and family around the country. She was saying goodbye before it was too late. “I wish…”
Shannon just nodded as she cried, grieving for her mother, knowing that their time was limited. It took almost an hour for her to stop crying. “I’m sorry,” she said as she began to wipe away her tears.
“You have nothing to be sorry about,” he told her, as she sat up and looked at him, “You’ve nothing to be sorry for,” repeated before adding, “You’ve just been told something that is devastating, and I…” he said, taking a breath to stop his own tears. “She’s a good woman, and a good friend. She’s been here since I came out here. She’s been there for all of Christopher’s ups and downs, all of mine and yours. It’s going to be a hard loss to take. How… how long have they given her?” he asked, not sure if he should.
“Six more months. Six months and I could be saying goodbye to her and I hate it. I hate that she kept this from me for so long. She knew months ago, Evan, months ago, I missed all that time with her because she was just…”
“Saying goodbye to other members of her family and her friends. So she could spend the rest of the time with you?” he told her, guessing at what Janet had done.
Shannon paused, thinking it over before asking, “You think that is what she was doing?”
“It wouldn’t surprise me. Janet knew she was dying, and instead of having people coming to her, she traveled, saw a bit more of the world, and caught up with family. So she could spend the rest of her days with her daughter and grandson. With those that she is closest to. She loves you so much, you know that. She adores Christopher. No doubt she hates the fact that she’s been missing things,” he said quietly, a sad look on his face. He really liked Janet, she was a good strong woman, much like her daughter.
Evan was about to say more when he heard a cry come from the monitor. “Right, that’s Chris, it’s going to be okay, we’re here for you and Janet,” he reminded her with a quick hug before he went to get Christopher, who wanted nothing more than to hug his mommy.
XxXxX
Evan finished his call as he heard someone knocking on the door. Shannon was telling him of all the things that Janet had been doing since informing Shannon of her terminal diagnosis. Evan headed to the door as it was knocked again. “Coming,” he called out as he hurried to the front door and opened it. His face drained of all color as he saw a military uniform. “No…” he said, shaking his head as he gripped tightly on the door. Something had happened to Eddie.
“Mr Buckley?” the taller of the two asked.
“Ye… yeah,” he nodded, “What… Eddie.”
“Staff Sergeant Diaz was involved in an incident, he was on a rescue flight, and his helicopter crashed. He was shot by insurgents during the ensuing scuffle. He saved his unit, Mr Buckley,” the man said.
Evan’s knees began to buckle as he tried to keep standing. “How… is he…” he said, not able to find the words.
“He’s alive, and at the moment he is in Kandahar, receiving emergency surgery. You are his listed contact,” he said, “I’m Captain Armand,” he added, “This is Lieutenant Hito,” he said as he introduced the second man.
“You’ll be called when Staff Sergeant Diaz is out of surgery. No matter the outcome that happens.” Captain Armand said, “I’m sorry to bring such news to you.”
“Yeah,” Evan said, his voice shaking as much as the rest of him was. He would have to tell the family, but he wouldn’t do so until he knew what was going on fully. The two nodded and left as Evan shut the door. Sliding down it, he started to cry, “Please, please, don’t take him from me,” he prayed, hands clasped in front of him as he brought his knees up and remained there until the phone rang several hours later.
Evan scrambled to his feet and stumbled to his phone. Grabbing it he answered it as it started to slide from his grasp. He held it with both hands. “Yes?” he asked.
“Is this Mr Evan Buckley?” a female voice sounded on the other end.
“It is. Eddie. Is Eddie okay?” he asked, biting his lip as he moved through his home.
“Staff Sergeant Diaz came through surgery, he will be airlifted to a base in Germany for further treatment. He will be at Landstuhl in several hours from now. He came through surgery well,” she told him.
“What… what are his injuries?” he asked, needing to know what Eddie would face.
“He dislocated his shoulder during the initial crash from what was reported. He was shot in the line of duty three times. He was hit in the shoulder by one. The second grazed his wrist and ended up in his right leg. The last went into his abdomen. Emergency surgery was carried out to remove a severely damaged kidney and repair as much of the internal injuries that it caused. He will be airlifted to Landstuhl as soon as he is stable enough for transport that far,” she informed him.
“I… I see,” he said, closing his eyes, “Is he going… is he going to be okay?” he asked, his voice sounding distant even to his own ears.
“At the moment, we believe so. Barring any complications, he should be airlifted in a few hours. We will call again when that happens, and someone will do the same when he carries in Landstuhl to inform you how the flight went. His vitals are good, and they were able to do the surgery not long after the injury took place,” she said, reassuring Evan a little.
“Thank you, thank you,” Evan said, as he bit back a sob.
“Goodbye, Mr Buckley, we’ll talk in a couple of hours,” she said as she hung up the call.
Evan let the building sob free as he curled on the couch and cried. His phone clutched against him as he wanted to call Eddie, wanted to hear his voice, to know for sure that he was going to be okay. But he couldn’t, there was nothing he could do. He was half a world away and he couldn’t even go and see him. “Please, be okay,” he cried as he continued to cry, waiting for another call.
XxXxX
Phillip was worried. He’d not heard anything from Evan since yesterday afternoon. He’d gone quiet; no random message about something new he had learned, no memes being sent to him, nothing. Evan hadn’t been returning anyone’s calls or messages for the last day. Phillip had gone over, hoping that he would be able to find out what was going on with his son, it was still early morning, and he should have been heading to college. His son’s car was still on the drive, which showed he was home. He knocked on the door, not getting an answer. He went into his pocket and pulled out his keys, bringing up Evan’s he unlocked the door.
“Evan!” he called out, a mild hint of panic in his voice as he entered the home. It was dark, it even smelled stale inside. He closed the door behind him, “Evan!” he called out again as he began to go through the house.
He went into the kitchen, seeing food out, as though it was in the middle of being prepared, but then abandoned. Phillip was starting to panic more as he went into his son’s bedroom, not seeing his son there. “Evan, please,” he said, as he called out a third time and walked toward the living room. There, his son was lying on the couch, eyes closed and tear stains over his face. “Evan!” he called out rushing over and falling to the floor beside the couch, “Evan, come on son, wake up,” he murmured as he reached out, running a hand through his son’s curls.
Evan’s eyes fluttered open. “Da… dad,” he said, his voice breaking as he began to cry, “he’s hurt. He’s hurt and I can’t go to him, Dad.”
Phillip frowned, “Who…” he began only to realize that Evan was talking about Eddie. “Oh, son,” he murmured, “What… what did they say?” he asked.
“He’s in Germany, and I can’t go and see him, I can’t be with him. He… he hasn’t woken up yet. He had a kidney removed, and he’s in surgery again. They hit turbulence on the way to Germany, and it got bad. He… he started to bleed and they had to take him in to find out what’s going on, and I’m waiting for them to call again,” he said, tears falling from his eyes as his dad got him to sit up.
“Why didn’t you call one of us, we’d have been right here with you,” Phillip said, as he rocked his son as the young man cried in his arms.
“I needed to know he was going to be okay,” he hiccuped, clinging onto his dad like a lifeline.
“I’ll be right here, and I’ll be calling the others, to let them know what’s going on. You’re not alone, and they would want to know, no matter how long it takes to find out what’s going to happen,” Phillip told him before he could protest.
“Okay,” Evan said, giving a shaky nod, “I just…” he trailed off as Phillip let him go.
“I know, and I understand why,” Phillip told him, as he took Evan’s face in his hands, “You’re a good man, Evan, but you’re not alone.”
Evan nodded again as his phone began to ring. He quickly moved Phillip aside and grabbed it. “Hello?” he asked.
“Mr Evan Buckley?” a voice on the other end asked.
“Yes, that’s me. Is Eddie okay?” he answered quickly.
“Staff Sergeant Diaz came out of his second surgery brilliantly. He’s stable and in recovery now. He won’t wake for several more hours, but all things are looking good. The internal bleed was found and taken care of. There is a chance he will need a third surgery when he returns to the US, depending on how the healing is going on his shoulder. For now, he’s as stable and as well as we can make him. We will call again when he wakes up and is coherent enough for a conversation , so you can speak with him,” the man said on the other end.
“Thank you,” Evan said, getting a curt goodbye as the man hung up. Evan almost dropped his phone as he began to cry again, “He’s okay, the surgery went well, and he should wake up this evening sometime.”
“That’s great,” Phillip said, hugging his son. Evan cried and nodded, feeling relieved that he was only a few hours away from talking to Eddie, needing to hear his voice and know for sure that he was okay. Phillip began to call the rest of the family, telling them what was going on, soon enough they converged at Evan’s home to be with him and each other as they waited for news.
Chapter Twenty-Four
It was three agonizing weeks before Evan would be able to see Eddie face to face again. The man had been transported to a base in the US, undergoing another surgery on his shoulder. Eddie had been told about the loss of his kidney, and how that would mean an honorable medical discharge from the Army. He was also told that he was awarded a Silver Star, which in Eddie’s eyes didn’t mean much. He had lost the career he had worked hard towards, something that he had wanted and sacrificed extra time with his son for. It was all gone, with one crash and three bullets.
Now, Eddie was finally home. Evan was behind him, pushing the wheelchair that he was going to be stuck in for another week or two before he could start getting around with a crutch. Eddie felt lost, adrift in the world. He had no idea what he was going to do with his life.
“Finally home,” Evan said, his voice light and a hint of happiness within it.
“Yeah,” Eddie said, trying to be happy.
Evan stopped pushing before they reached the ramp that led up to the porch. He went around and knelt before his boyfriend. “I know. It fucking sucks to lose your career because of something you deem stupid. I know that pain well. I wanted to be a cop, I kinda loved walking the beat, talking to the people out there, and helping where I could. I understand what you’re feeling. That you’re adrift in the world and it’s fucking lonely thinking that. I’m doing better, but there are days when I feel that bitter sting of not being able to be what I trained hard to be. You spent so long training and improving yourself to be what you wanted, and it’s been taken from you. For today, it’s a ‘thankful I’m alive to see my family’ day. Tomorrow, you can rant, rave and bitch at the fucking world for taking away something you love.”
Eddie stared at him, “I’m sorry.”
“You have nothing to be sorry for; like I said, I understand. I had people telling me when I first stopped being a cop, that oh, be grateful that your attacker didn’t kill you. I’m like I don’t fucking care, I worked hard to go through the academy, I worked hard with Athena as her partner, and for practically two years I loved being a cop. You loved being an army medic, it is who you are. It’s also how we came to know each other, how could I not hate the fact that it’s been ripped away from you,” he rambled a little. “Today is for them, the rest of our lives, is for us, to rant, rave, and love each other as we find a way forward. I still have no idea what I’m going to do, and it’s been months since the attack.”
“Okay, I’ll… try,” he said, “I… didn’t take the meds,” he added quietly.
“I know, I didn’t think you would, but you will be soon, as soon as Christopher has seen you, since I know he’s worried. He’s been hearing a few things but doesn’t really understand, and won’t be happy until he sees you and can talk to you face to face,” Evan murmured as he stood up, kissing Eddie as he did so. “Now, let’s go in there, be welcomed home before we can kick them out and you can finally be grumpy.”
“You make me sound so damn mean,” Eddie grumbled as Evan got behind him again.
“No, I just know what I was like when I got back from the hospital, I was a grumpy bastard, and I know Chris was each time he’s had an op,” Evan snorted.
“Fine, I’ll give you that, you were a little grumpy,” Eddie snorted, slightly cheering up as Evan pushed him up the ramp and to the front door, which swung open. Phillip was standing there, Christopher in his arms.
“This little guy was getting sick of waiting for the two of you,” Phillip smiled.
“Hey, mijo,” Eddie said, looking at the four-year-old.
“Daddy owwies?” Christopher asked, looking ready to cry.
“Just a few, but I’ll be better soon,” Eddie said as he reached out his one arm, the other still in a sling.
“Is it okay?” Phillip asked, wanting to put Christopher on his father’s lap, but afraid that it would hurt the young man.
“If we’re careful, we’ll be fine,” Evan said, even though it would no doubt hurt Eddie a lot, but he didn’t want to deny his boyfriend what he craved, and that was a cuddle from his son. “Chris, you’re going to have to be careful because of Daddy’s owwies when you sit on his lap, okay?” he said as he went to Christopher.
“Okay, Unca Evan,” he nodded as he let himself be carried by Evan and gently and carefully placed onto Eddie’s lap, watching Eddie’s expression to make sure that he was seated in the right place and not in a place that could cause any harm.
As soon as Christopher was carefully leaning against his dad. Evan pushed Eddie into their home, where the family was waiting to welcome him home.
XxXxx
Evan helped Eddie onto the couch, “There, you rest up, I’ll get started on lunch soon. You will be taking your meds then, but you can sleep on the couch for a bit if you don’t want to go back to bed,” he said.
“No I do-” he began, only to stop when there was a knock on the front door. “Who is that?” he frowned. Shannon had dropped Christopher off that morning, needing to go with her mother to the hospital for an appointment; so they weren’t expecting anyone until later that night.
“I’ll go and see, keep an eye on the monitor, Chris should be waking soon,” he said as he stood up straight and headed to the front door. “Hello?” he asked as he saw two people standing there.
“I’m Jane Morris, and this is Seymor Klayton,” she said, “We’re with the Children Protection Services, and we were called about a case of abuse within this address.”
“That would be rather odd since a child doesn’t reside here full-time at the moment,” Evan said as he opened the door and let them in after looking at their credentials.
“You are Mr Evan Buckley?” she asked, getting a nod, “Then we’re at the right address.”
“We would like to speak with you, talk with Christopher Diaz, and with Shannon Whitt.”
“Shannon is with her mother at an appointment at the hospital. She won’t be able to make it back for a few hours. Testing and consultations take time. Her mother has been diagnosed with terminal cancer and is getting her monthly check-up to see the progress the disease has made,” he added, getting a frown from the two.
“I see, we’ll need to talk to her, so please make sure she comes home as soon as possible,” Klayton told them.
“I’m sorry to say, but what she is doing is more pressing than this,” Evan told them, “I understand that you are investigating something. Though what abuse, I have no idea.”
“It was told to us that the child in question was using a contraption to walk and that he was severely injured,” Morris told them, frowning as she looked at her notes.
“Fucking parents!” Eddie yelled out as they reached the room, “Let me guess, a Ramon and Helena Diaz got in contact and said that we’re abusing my son.”
“And you are?” Seymor asked as he looked at the man who was wearing a sling.
“Edmundo Diaz, Christopher Diaz’s biological father?” Klayton asked for clarification.
“Edmundo Diaz, the caller said that you were unaware of your son’s injuries and state, as you were in the army, and that you had nothing to do with your son, because of Shannon Whitt,” Jane said, a frown on her face, as she glanced at the notes she has made of the case when it had been given to her. It stated that the grandparents of said child were worried about his state because their son’s wishes weren’t being taken into account, and that the child was being raised by an ex-girlfriend and the girlfriend’s partner.
“My son isn’t injured, he has a disability, one that was caused by Helena Diaz when she interfered with the treatment of Shannon during Christopher’s birth,” Eddie said, “And sorry for not standing to greet you,” he said as they walked around, “But I was shot during a mission, I’m at home recovering at the moment.”
“We were told that you had nothing to do with your son; that your parents were worried that you were being denied access,” Jane said as she and Seymor sat down.
“I’ve been in my son’s life since the st-” Eddie began.
“Unca Evan!” came a yell through the monitor and from the back of the house.
“That would be Christopher, he was taking a nap,” Evan said as he headed out to get him, “He needs a little help with his new gait trainer at first, but he’s learning well in using it. He’s determined to get to crutches before he has to start school.” When a second call went out, Evan hurried to help Christopher.
“Gait trainer?” Seymor asked, “I think we would like an explanation of the situation that is going on at the moment.
“Right,” Eddie said, “When Christopher was born, my parents burst their way into the delivery room. Christopher was in distress and they stopped the medical staff treating Shannon and Christopher with any speed. Shannon almost died, and Christopher was deprived of oxygen for a while. Which caused his cerebral palsy. From that point, I limited the contact that my parents had with Shannon and Christopher. They quickly became combative and demanding before Christopher even turned one. By then we’d cut all contact and they’ve never been allowed to be alone around my son. At his fourth birthday party, they burst into my grandparent’s home, causing harm to my Abuelo, who spent two nights in the hospital because of the resulting concussion, and the stress that it had on his heart. They snatched Christopher from Shannon and proceeded to try and take him. We had two police officers at the party. Detective Lou Ransone and Sergeant Athena Grant. My boyfriend, Evan Buckley, is a former cop as well,” he added, “That led to my parents having a restraining order taken out against them. They’re not allowed near Shannon, Evan, Christopher, myself, or my grandparents. No doubt they called you in an attempt to take Christopher, and see if they could have him if he was taken from us.”
“He’s going to play in his room for a bit, I don’t want him around for this type of conversation,” Evan said as he walked back into the living room and sat down beside Eddie.
“I see,” Morris said with a nod, “We’d still like to talk to Christopher, but for now, let’s go over some of the questions we have, and then we’ll do that. With your permission and with you both in the room. I can see now that we were being used in a custody dispute, unfortunately, it happens more than you would think.”
“I know it does, I’ve been called to some of the domestics that happen during such cases,” Evan said, “there are a few things I don’t miss about being a cop.”
“I bet,” Klayton nodded, as the two began to ask a few questions, getting a clearer picture of what was going on in the Buckley-Diaz-Whitt families before they talked to Christopher a little about what being home was like. He was quick to paint a picture of a father he loved having home forever, even if he didn’t get to stay with him all the time. Of a grandmother that was going to be leaving for a very long time soon, and that he was going to miss her. That his mommy was sad but trying to be happy for him. The two left with a clearer understanding of the situation, they would file their report and make a note in the system that the grandparents were making a false claim to get around a restraining order after showing violence around and toward the child.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Shannon sighed as she sat before her ex and his boyfriend. The two were sitting there, looking a little shocked at what she had just asked of them. “I know it’s not ideal, not with Eddie still hurt, and I think normally I wouldn’t be letting him go like this. I just… Mom’s moved back in. The condo finally sold. I know she’s going to get worse. She wants to stay home when it comes to her last days, I already have someone that will be coming in to help take care of her when that happens. I told her what I was planning and she said that she knew someone else who was looking for work, and she’s qualified to work for both you and Chris, Eddie,” she said, her words rushing over as she then bit her lip
“You don’t want Christopher around her when she gets to that late stage,” Evan said with a nod, as he began to understand why Shannon was now asking them to take full custody of Christopher.
“Yeah, I’m… being torn in two with Christopher’s care, his therapist, physio, and doctors appointments, as well as his daycare.. It’s all getting a bit much for me juggling Mom’s and Christopher’s health issues. There… isn’t anyone else in LA that would take care of her,” Shannon added, “I know I’m asking a lot.”
You’re not,” Eddie stopped her from saying anything more. “He’s my son as well, for the last four years you’ve been there every single day. It’s fine, we can deal and yeah, we might need a bit of help since I’m not one hundred percent at the moment.”
“Give us the details of the aide you said might be a good fit for us and I’ll talk to them,” Evan told her, “We don’t mind at all, we understand, and you’re welcome to come by, you and Janet, because no doubt he’s going to be missing being with you both all the time,” he finished, smiling as he reached out and took her hand.
“Thank you, both of you. I know it’s a big ask, but thank you. He’ll love being with the two of you, and yeah, I’ll be missing him like crazy, but he’s not a state or two away, he’s a half-hour drive at the least,” she smiled as they began to hash out all the details of Christopher moving to live with Eddie and Evan more permanently.
Evan looked at the name that he had been given, and got up to call Carla Price; she was a home health care aide, someone who would be able to come in and help with Christopher and Eddie. He could hear the warmth in the woman’s voice as she talked to him, telling him of her qualifications as they set up a meeting to go over making an offer for her services. He went back to the table as they finalized the transfer of custody to Eddie and Evan.
XxXxX
Evan smiled at the woman before him, “Thank you for meeting me,” he said as he shook her hand.
“That’s fine, I was told that you need an in-home health aide for a while?” she asked as she shook his hand and sat down at the table in a corner of a cafe.
“Yes,” Evan nodded, “You came highly recommended by several people, Mrs Price.”
“Please, call me Carla,” she smiled warmly.
“And I’m Evan, none of that Mr Buckley, I always look around for my dad when I hear it,” he smiled, “Now, yeah, my partner was shot down in Afghanistan a month ago. He’s healing, but he has a lot of appointments and therapist appointments to go to. But recently our son has come to live with us as well. Or rather Eddie’s son, Christopher, he’s four years old, and has cerebral palsy,” he said as he grabbed the doctor’s report on Christopher’s condition, “This is information on Christopher’s condition and what stage of treatment we’re in. He’ll be due for another surgery in around a year if things continue on track. He’s a bright and happy kid, but he’s going to be a bit of a handful. He’s missing being with his mom and his grandmother a lot, his grandmother is dying at the moment, as she has terminal cancer. She has around six to seven months left, from the last check-up. She’s fighting to stay with us longer than the doctors thought she would. Shannon, his mother, is of course upset and determined to spend time with her mother and with her son. They’ve had a good few days out. Our scheduling is up in the air, so you’ll be paid and contacted for a full contract and paid, no matter how many hours you work. Any extra hours are of course paid as well,” he said, almost rushing everything out in the open in one go.
“I see,” she said, “And what about the care that would be needed?” Carla asked as she opened the folder on Christopher and glanced through the important parts that she would need to know first. She would read it more in-depth later.
“Help with Eddie when I’m not at home. I’m at university at the moment, working on another degree, so I’m not home as much as he would need. He needs help with certain things, like getting up and down. He is semi-mobile, but shouldn’t be putting too much pressure on his leg at the moment. His shoulder is in a sling and he has lost a kidney as well. I need someone that will be able to deal with any meals he’ll need during the day, and appointments that he has to go to. Christopher has daycare, but he’s only there for four hours three times a week at the moment. So he’ll be home, and wanting to play with his dad. Eddie will give in, and I need some help in making sure that they don’t overdo it; and believe me, he will try. He feels like he’s missed too much time with Chris since he was in the army and stationed overseas,” Evan answered her, giving more details about what he hoped she would be able to do.
“I see, well, I’m a former nurse, who decided to be an in-home health care aide,” she smiled, “I can see the need for someone to help in your situation, as a former nurse I can deal with. I should be able to start within the next week, as soon as we’ve sorted out the contact and all the details,” she told him.
“Thank you so much, I can’t wait to work with you, from all I’ve heard about you,” he smiled.
“Nice to know people believe in what I can do,” she told him as they began to hash out what the contract would look like.
XxXxX
Evan walked into the house, hearing bright laughter and then his dad’s voice calling whoever it was that was laughing an idiot, though it sounded fond. He entered the kitchen and saw Christopher and Eddie at the table, covered in flour, both laughing and giggling. Phillip stood there with a look on his face that told Evan that he was trying not to laugh himself.
“Really,” Phillip said, “A flour fight isn’t something that we can easily clean up; it gets everywhere,” he stated.
“Maybe it does, Grandpa,” Christopher said, “but it’s fun,” he grinned as he grabbed a handful and threw it at the man.
Phillip coughed as it hit him in the face. Eddie laughed and then coughed as Phillip threw a handful back and missed Christopher and hit the older man. Evan stifled his laughter as he brought out his phone to record some of the fight that was now going on as the three grabbed little handfuls and tossed them at each other. Evan finally laughed, causing all three to look at him, and throw some at him.
“Such a lovely family I have,” Evan said, as he coughed a little and brushed as much of it off as he could. “Me and you for clean up, Dad?” Evan asked.
“Yep,” Phillip smiled, “but first, I think we should have a good picture for today,” he added.
Evan nodded and set up his phone so he could use the timer to take a picture. He set it down, so it would get them all around the table and rushed over, almost slipping on some of the flour as he grabbed his dad, and just made it into frame as the picture sound echoed out. “Made it,” he said as soon as he stood up straight and went to check it. He smiled as he saw the picture, showing it to the others he said, “I think I need to get a print of this for the living room,” he said.
Eddie looked at it, the bright smiles on all four of them. The flour that covered them all, and the awkward angle that Evan was in because he basically fell into frame. “Yeah, share it with the family as well,” he added with a smile.
“I will,” he said.
“Right, let’s clean up, first clean the bratling,” Phillip said with a joking tone as he plucked Christopher up from his chair.
“Not a brat, Grandpa, that’s Daddy when he has to take his meds,” he said wisely.
“Yep,” Phillip nodded in agreement as Eddie huffed behind him as they left the room.
“He’s changed a lot,” Evan said, “He’s loved being out here, loves spending time with Chris as well,” he added.
“He’s been more of a grandparent than my parents have been,” Eddie said. CPS had called around again a few days ago, sorting a meeting with Shannon this time to talk over the situation.
“Are we still having that party for Janet?” he asked as he began to go around the kitchen and start to tidy it up.
Eddie nodded, “Yeah, she wants to see the whole family all together one last time. She knows she might still have months. But she’s scared that it will rob her of her mobility, and her speech soon; she knows that it’s starting to spread, so she wants to do it while she can still do things and have fun with everyone.”
Evan nodded, “I can understand that,” he murmured, “I can’t imagine… I don’t know what I would do if it was me, if I was told I would only have so long left to live. I know I’d want to spend every single moment with you and those I love. I wouldn’t want to sleep in case I miss something.”
Eddie looked at him, “I felt like that,” he said, “When I was shot, we didn’t know if rescue was coming. I thought that this was it, I was going to die. I wasn’t going to see you, Chris, or anyone again. All I wanted was one more day to tell you that I love you all and that I wanted to spend a lifetime with you all. That… that you all mean the world to me..” he said softly. “You know that picture you took, at his fourth birthday, of the three of us together, it was like a totem,” he said, getting a nod. “I was holding that and bleeding out and thinking I was going to die. If I was, I wanted to see you both in my last moments. To remember the two that I love the most.”
Evan moved over to him, “And I love you, and yeah, I would be staring into your eyes should I breathe my last,” he said, “I never felt like this before, it’s deep, unending, and all-consuming. I feel like I could burst with how I feel about you sometimes. Like there’s just too much. I cared about Lou a lot, but it’s you I love.”
Eddie pulled him closer, kissing him, “I love you as well, with all my heart. It’s full of it, full of you. There is no one I would rather spend the rest of my life with, than you. I love you so much,” he said, kissing him again.
A delightful story. I feel for both Evan and Eddie, having their careers yanked from them.
Thank you ❤️
Very nice
😿 Beautiful. I love the parallels you’re drawing—Eddie and Evan, Evan and Tommy/Lou, Shannon and Maddie, Phillip and the Diaz parents. The first two showing how shared experiences, even tragic ones, can provide support and motivation, and the latter two showing that people just need to listen to Evan because He Knows Best. 😁
Getting back on your feet after an injury is hard enough, but it can get more difficult and complicated when you are trying to find a new job as well. To find a new and satisfying career when you have lost one you intended to stick with forever may be a longer search.
another marvelous story in a truly great series!! I’m really enjoying these stores a lot! I’ve been haunting the posting schedule so’s not to miss anything.
magnifico!!!
I drew up a spreadsheet listing all the stories I wanted to read and converted CT into AEST! But I find I’m still haunting the post schedule 😁
This was great. I love how Evan champions for his family. When they need him he is there standing tall. I love the things he said to Eddie in the wheelchair before they were called inside. That was such a great scene. I’m so glad they’re together now.
Thank you
Good update thank you… The song is amazing. Thank you for introducing me to it… The videos a little strange, but that’s OK.
Chim is such a dumbass, lol. I’m glad they stopped the bad guy, but I do feel bad for Evan. He and Eddie are perfect for each other in this story though.
Great story
Great story. Loved the support everyone gives each other. The Texas Diazs’ can eat dirt.