Reading Time: 94 Minutes

Title: Ain’t got no tears left to cry
Author: BytheBry
Fandom: 9-1-1: Lone Star
Genre: Angst, Contemporary, Episode Related, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort
Relationship(s): TK Strand/Carlos Reyes
Content Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Self Harm, Mentions-Addiction, Canon-Adultery, Canon-Kidnapping, Canon-Drugging, Permanent Breakup.
Author Note: Please Note – I consider a singular POV to be an unreliable narrator. In this story, TK is an unreliable narrator. He is caught in his own life and worries. Is he seeing what truly is or are his emotions and circumstances ruling him. Or both? I leave that up to you, the reader.
Alpha: HarleyJQuin
Word Count: 88,789
Summary: How did it all change in the blink of an eye? They had been so happy. He thought he had conquered his inner demons. His life had been peaceful. He had pushed the red flags away. How did it all change?
Artist: CoCo

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Ain’t got no tears left to cry

Don’t lose who you are
In the blur of the stars
Seeing is deceiving
Dreaming is believing
It’s okay not to be okay
Sometimes it’s hard
To follow your heart
Tears don’t mean you’re losing
Everybody’s bruising
Just be true to who you are
But what do you do
When you ain’t got no tears left to cry.
– Jessie J

Day 1

TK blinked and stared at his fiancé. Shaking his head with an embarrassed laugh he arrived at the conclusion that he must have zoned out and daydreamed the ridiculous words Carlos had uttered. “Sorry, baby, I didn’t quite get that. What did you say?”

As TK waited for Carlos to repeat what he had said, he was ready to hear him and then let him know just what TK’s imagination had conjured up.

“TK,” Carlos said carefully, “I’m married.”

TK felt like a bright light flashed through his head, whiting out all of his thoughts. He blinked wondering if the Men In Black had used the flashy thing on him. He moved his mouth to speak and nothing came out. He wanted to call Carlos out for his ridiculous joke, tell him it was not funny, but looking at his face he knew it was no joke. Reaching up he rubbed his jaw as he looked around and prioritized what he needed to say right now. “Was this really the best place you considered for this big, life-changing revelation?” He finally asked in a small voice. He looked at a point over Carlos’ shoulder, knowing if he looked into what he fondly referred to as Carlos’ cow eyes, those soulful brown eyes would make it easy for him to break down into tears.

“I wanted to let you know we got the Sunset ranch,” Carlos said lamely.

TK knew his expressive face reflected his shock. “And you thought the best way to let me know the wedding venue I loved was available a year ahead of what we had expected was by also confessing this massive secret in with it.” He covered his face with his hands and shook his head, “This can’t be happening. This is a dream and I’ll wake up any moment and be so relieved I’ll want to suck your cock to reaffirm you’re gay.”

Carlos gently tugged on TK’s wrist. “Babe, it was in name only.”

TK carefully took a step back to break Carlos’ hold. “Is. You’re married. Present tense. Not was.” He lowered his hands and took a few steadying breaths. “I can’t do this,” he said calmly while internally hysterical over the chaos and betrayal that had erupted in his life. “Not now and not here.” He wet his dry lips. “I’ll see you at home after my shift. We have a lot to talk about.”

He watched Carlos hover uncertainly for a moment before nodding and leaving. TK hoped he did not look as devastated as he felt. He looked down at his hand and was glad he and Carlos had decided against buying engagement rings. As TK watched Carlos walk away, he knew one way or another his engagement had ended. Now he had to decide if his relationship was salvageable. And if you even want such a relationship, his conscience whispered. But the part of him that loved Carlos with everything in him hurt at such thoughts. He wanted to curse himself for immediately thinking about running away from Carlos.

TK covered his mouth to swallow back his emotions. He would not break down at work. He could not. Tugging his phone out of his pocket he quickly fired off a message to his closest friend in New York, Kyle Somner.

TK – Need to talk. Need a lawyer.

He slid his phone back into his pocket and took a few steadying breaths. He was sure Kyle would come through for him. Until then, it was time to get back to work. He could pretend everything was okay and keep it together for the next twenty hours. He would be professional and do his damn job, for his job may be the only thing he would soon have left in his life.

The man he loved, the man he had been engaged to, was married.

Day 2

TK stood outside his door. He had been standing there for the past five minutes, unable to bring himself to unlock it and go inside. Going inside would mean he had to be ready to have a discussion with Carlos. Going inside would mean his happily-ever-after love story had come to an end. Going inside would mean this part of his relationship, his engagement had ended. Going inside would mean he had been living a lie. His entire relationship had been a lie.

He paused and wondered if he was being dramatic. If his flight or fight response had kicked in and he had chosen flight with a quick fight. He could not deny that he disliked confrontation and would rather self-harm than approach a confrontation even when he knew he was in the right.

He squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head. No. He had moved past this behavior. He shook his head again and took a deep breath. He just had to discuss the situation with Carlos. Understand what he meant by he was married and what that meant for them.

He looked ahead and nodded. He needed all the facts. And then he needed time to process them. Time to lick his wounds in private. With his heart pounding, he unlocked the door and went inside.

“You’re home!”

TK blinked and took a step back in uncertainty at the obvious surprise on Carlos’ face. Did Carlos not want him there? “This is where I live, where else would I go?” he asked carefully.

Carlos stood up from the couch and hurriedly took a few steps toward him as he shook his head, “No! I just,” he winced, “I thought maybe you’d go to your dad’s.”

TK forced himself to relax as he took off his shoes, “We have a lot to talk about Carlos and it needs to be in person.” He put his shoes away and then took his bag to the kitchen.

While emptying his food boxes out onto the counter he wondered why Carlos thought he would go to Owen’s house. His dad had not been around much for months now. TK had stopped relying on him around the time he had dumped him and took off to live in a remote cabin. Owen and TK had not been in touch for weeks before the winter snowstorm. Owen returning and making TK’s coma all about himself had pretty much been the last straw for TK. But what had come after had been so much worse. He had never thought his father’s actions would make up part of his nightmares. His therapy sessions, sure, nightmares, no.

Stop procrastinating, TK, he told himself sternly. He set the last box down firmly and frowned at it. “At least I can be off my diet now,” he mumbled to himself.

“Why?”

TK looked to the right to see Carlos standing a bit away, his hands in his pockets. He raised his eyebrows.

“Not that I think you need to diet,” Carlos said hurriedly. “But you said you wanted a certain look before the wedding and well now we’ll get there in eight weeks.”

Carlos’ fake cheer pressed over them like a warm, damp napkin. TK did not know what to make of Carlos thinking he could drop this bomb on him, on their relationship and then they would walk away as if no harm done into the sunset. Into Sunset Ranch, TK thought hysterically, walking into our happily ever after as a man married to a woman now taking a man as a second marriage. Would it even be a second marriage if the divorce didn’t come through? Or just plain old adultery? He shook his head to push his internal dialogue away and clear his thoughts.

He licked his dry lips and moved to fill himself a glass of water. Thirstily drinking it down, he refilled the glass and turned to Carlos. “Let’s talk?”

Carlos nodded quickly and led the way to the couch.

TK deliberately sat in the corner of the couch to give himself space from Carlos. “First, before we talk about anything else, I need to know if you’ve been injured or ill recently and haven’t told me.”

“Babe, what?”

At Carlos’ confusion, TK tilted his head, “No hit on the head to cause a head injury, headaches, unexplained fever, rash?”

Carlos shook his head, “No, I’m okay. I’ve been okay.”

TK took a sip from his glass and gathered his nerves, “Carlos, the wedding is off. I called the venue and told them we appreciate being called but eight weeks is too short a time.”

Carlos leaned forward, “TK, no! We can do this in eight weeks.”

TK blinked and swallowed hard, forcing him to continue with this conversation when all his non-confrontational self wanted to do was flee. “You’re married,” he said pointedly while feeling like an idiot.

“In name only,” Carlos said hurriedly. “Baby, married in name only!”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” TK asked plaintively.

Carlos winced, “We had just decided to start dating. I didn’t want to drop my baggage on you.”

“So you allowed me to become someone who was dating a married man,” TK said offended.

“TK,” Carlos said, “I was married in name only.” He sighed, “You’re pissed.”

“No.” TK paused and rubbed his face, “Maybe. I’m confused. You’re married,” he said again.

“In name only,” Carlos said gently.

“To a woman.” It was taking all TK had not to question Carlos on his sexuality.

“Back then, that was the only way you could do it.”

TK stared at Carlos. “Same-sex marriage became legal in Texas in 2015. You were twenty-one. Just when did you get married? Who is this person? I mean, did she need a green card or something?”

“No, we went to high school together. She was a few years ahead of me. We were best friends and we were both… lost.. I guess?” Carlos explained hesitantly. He sighed and rubbed his face, “When I came out to my parents, and the way they never talked about it again, it…,” he paused and wet his lips, “it felt like I’d disappointed them.”

TK nodded slowly, “So you married a woman?”

“I married my best friend,” Carlos said.

TK was finding it hard to process this. “Did she know you were gay?”

Carlos leaned forward, “She knew everything about me. We loved each other, TK.” He slumped back, “And we tried to convince ourselves that we could make it work. We were wrong.”

“But you never got a divorce?” TK asked, confused.

“We meant to. But things… happened.”

“Well you’d need to get a divorce, Carlos,” TK said instead of asking Carlos if he and his wife had had sex. He wanted to know if the man he had been set to marry had tried living as a straight man. But he knew it was none of his business. That was Carlos’ past except that it now intruded on TK’s present and destroyed the picture he had painted in his mind about his future.

“I’m aware,” Carlos said calmly.

TK stared at Carlos, his casual tone and words annoying him. He focused on another issue. “If she was your best friend, how come I’ve never met her? Is she still in Texas?”

“Far as I know, yeah she is,” Carlos said.

TK sighed heavily at Carlos’ answer.

Carlos winced and leaned forward again, “You remember Captain Blake?”

“Michelle Blake?” TK sat up aghast. “Wait, Michelle Blake is your wife?”

“Michelle is my sister-in-law,” Carlos said calmly. “I’m married to her sister, Iris.”

“Iris?” TK wracked his brain for what information he had on Iris. Iris Blake, the woman who had gone missing? The boyfriend of whom Michelle Blake had spent years harassing, abusing, and stalking? That Michelle and Iris Blake?! TK wrapped his arms around himself. “Iris Blake, Michelle’s little sister, the one that went missing?” TK didn’t know what to make of any of this. He still could not believe Carlos had kept such a huge part of his life from him. Or that he had been friends with, was related to a woman like Michelle.

“I told you things happened,” Carlos said. “TK, we all thought she was dead. Then she came back.” He sighed deeply, “With schizophrenia. She needed help.”

“And you staying married to her helped her?” TK asked, confused.

“My health insurance is helping her,” Carlos explained.

TK shook his head, “I don’t get it. Explain it to me again.”

“I’m married to Iris Blake in name only,” Carlos said hurriedly. “Baby, married in name only!” he insisted again. “Iris and I just got lazy about divorcing and then she went missing. In a way, it worked out since she could move onto my insurance when Michelle found her.”

Something niggled at TK about that. “So, she went onto your insurance after she was found?” he confirmed dully.

“Yeah. It was the day of the solar storm. Michelle called and told me Iris needed to get on my insurance as my spouse and it made sense.”

“While this was happening was when we decided to start dating seriously. You didn’t think to tell me that you’re legally married?” he asked again.

“I told you, I didn’t want to load you down with my baggage when we had just begun to figure us out,” Carlos said in a small voice.

TK sighed deeply. Well, that was that. What more could he say when Carlos did not seem to be willing to see the error of his ways here? “Is she doing better?” he asked in a small voice, feeling like a heel over the fact that he was still upset over himself rather than this woman who was a stranger to him but had had her life turned upside down.

“I don’t know.”

TK stared at Carlos and shook his head slightly. None of this made sense to him. “What does Michelle have to say?”

“I meant to call them. Both of them.” Carlos pressed his lips together and shook his head, “There’s no excuse for the way I abandoned both of them. I’m a terrible friend.”

TK’s heart went to the man he loved. As upset as he was, he tried to be supportive. “Hey, hey, no, you’re not. You’re not, okay? You’re a good friend, Carlos. Everything’s going to be okay.” The words rang false to TK’s ears but Carlos seemed a bit cheered up by them. He considered that a win. “We have time to figure it out.”

“We have eight weeks,” Carlos mumbled.

“What?” TK asked incredulously. He could not believe Carlos was still pushing on this.

“Eight weeks,” Carlos repeated. “We can do this in eight weeks. I’ll get a divorce!”

“What?” TK repeated, now wary and bordering on weary. “Eight weeks is not enough time to get a divorce —,” he began and blinked when Carlos interrupted him then internally berated himself. It did not matter how much time the divorce took, they were not in the right space in their relationship anymore to get married!

“It will be! The state of Texas requires me to be divorced for a full month before I can get married again. So it better be enough,” Carlos explained.

TK closed his eyes and took a deep slow breath as he decided to board this crazy train Carlos had jumped upon. TK would have to introduce him to some logic. He opened his eyes and spoke as patiently as he could, “Carlos, the state of Texas also requires a sixty-day cooling-off period once a petition for divorce has been filed. Once the sixty-day period has passed, a divorce order may be entered. If both you and your wife are in full agreement, you could be divorced in about two months at a minimum. Typically even uncontested cases take ninety to hundred and twenty days.”

“How do you know this?” Carlos asked suspiciously.

TK refrained from rolling his eyes, “I googled it.” He refused to admit his childhood best friend Kyle was a lawyer in New York and had gotten him the information overnight. He gathered his courage and pushed ahead with what he wanted to say, “Most importantly to me, is that it doesn’t matter how long your divorce takes because there won’t be a wedding in eight weeks.” He softened his tone, “We can’t be engaged anymore.”

“But why?” Carlos asked immediately, his face mirroring the hurt in his voice.

“Carlos, are you hearing yourself right now? You just dropped this bomb on me, you’ve changed our entire relationship and expect me to just continue on without any time to process it?”

“But I love you,” Carlos said softly.

TK could feel himself shaking with nerves, desperately wanting to end this and give in to whatever Carlos wanted. He forced himself to hold his ground, “And I love you. Love isn’t the problem here at this point. Trust is.”

“You don’t trust me?”

“Carlos,” TK said shakily, “you hid your wife from me. For over three years.”

“TK, I-I,” Carlos began then stopped.

TK shook his head, “No, this isn’t the right time. Our entire relationship has changed. I need time to process this. We need time. You need to sort your legal situation out and then we can work on figuring us out.” He swallowed hard and rubbed his chest, “Consider us unengaged,” he whispered.

TK forced himself to ignore the raw hurt on Carlos’ face as he stood up and walked away, tears dripping down his face.

—

A couple of hours later TK woke up from a restless nap. He went into the bathroom and splashed cold water on his face. Bracing his arms on the counter he stared at his reflection. His reflection did not reflect the level of sheer misery he felt drowning him. A picture flashed in his mind, one of him looking greasy, gaunt, and messy as his mother hauled him off to rehab. He blinked then squeezed his eyes shut.

It would be so easy, his mind whispered. A little pill and he could float away from all his worries. TK squeezed his eyes shut tighter and thought of his mom. Of Enzo. Of Jonah. Of his job. He had too much to live for, he had his mother’s belief in him to uphold, his Zo’s love. He was not going to spiral back!

He opened his eyes and stared at himself. “You, Tyler-Kennedy Morgan-Strand, are strong and capable of getting through this without self-destructing. No one needs to come to rescue me from myself. I am okay. I need to take steps and safeguard my present and future. I am not in fight, flight, or freeze and am working to get past fawn. I cannot indulge fawn,” he whispered to himself. He licked his dry lips and swallowed hard. Realizing he needed another voice he grabbed his phone and dialed while staring at himself in the mirror.

“Hey, TK.”

“Coop, tell me about the Fawn response,” TK said immediately.

“The fawn response, also known as appeasement, is when a person responds to a threat by attempting to pacify it. This often occurs in situations when a person gives into the emotions and wants of the aggressor, despite their emotions and thoughts toward them. This response is common in someone that experiences abuse within a relationship where there is a power imbalance. Signs and symptoms of a fawn response include being overly helpful, being agreeable, submissive, smiling and laughing even when upset, flattering your aggressor, seeking approval, dissociation.”

TK relaxed and let out a shaky breath, “I’m not stuck in fawn response. Not entirely,” he whispered and closed his eyes, breaking the stare off he had going with his reflection.

“TK, are you okay? Do we need to meet right now?”

TK licked dry lips again and shook his head, “No. Um, no. Not right now. Thank you though for the offer. And for answering my call and abrupt question. Um, there’s a lot that’s gone down. Can we meet tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow at eleven? We can get brunch at that new cafe you were telling me about.”

“Yes, perfect. I’ll see you then.”

There was a pause before Cooper gently said, “TK, I am always here for you.”

TK finally relaxed, “I know, Coop. Thank you.”

TK nodded to himself, he needed more information, and the only way he would get it was by talking to Carlos. With that in mind, he left the bathroom.

TK found Carlos stretched out on the couch and sat down in the lounge chair. “Tell me more about Iris and the whole thing.”

Carlos sighed and shifted up until he was reclined against the pillow. “Iris and I were in high school together. We were friends. When I came out to my parents and they then ignored an entire part of me, it nearly destroyed me. Iris was there for me.

When Iris’ father died, I was there for her. We were young and silly. We figured the way to seal our friendship forever would be to get married.”

TK rubbed his thigh and refrained from saying anything against Carlos’ parents and their lack of support for him over the past ten years. “So you married this woman when you were eighteen. And then what? You both went your own way?”

Carlos winced, “Between college and then focusing on our careers, life just naturally took us on different paths.”

“Had you met her ex-boyfriend?” TK asked curiously.

“Dustin? Yeah, a few times.”

“So you both lived in the same city, and you’d only met the man she was in a serious enough relationship with to live with a couple of times.”

Carlos shrugged, “I was new on the job, I had my own place. I was enjoying going to bars and clubs and finally finding myself. Iris is three years older than me. She was in a different phase of her life with her boyfriend and didn’t do the clubbing and bar scene. It just got a bit difficult to align our schedules.”

“So then why didn’t you get a divorce? If that relationship wasn’t what you needed anymore and Iris was living with another man, why stay married?”

“Because Iris didn’t mention it,” Carlos said simply. “Babe, you have to understand that I hadn’t ever thought that marriage, a true marriage would ever be on the cards for me. So what did it matter that I was married to her. I figured eventually she may want to marry Dustin and we’d get a quick and quiet divorce.”

He found the idea of twenty-one-year-old Iris marrying an eighteen-year-old gay friend to be so damn strange. “Well at least Dustin dodged that bullet,” TK muttered as he hugged a pillow to his chest.

“That’s not fair!” Carlos protested.

“Michelle stalked, harassed, and verbally abused the man. Her tantrums got him fired from his job!” TK held up a hand when Carlos opened his mouth, “I’m not even willing to agree to disagree on this. What she did to that man, what she put him through, I’m embarrassed to work for the AFD whenever I remember that she was a captain and allowed to get away with her disgusting behavior.”

He took a deep breath, “Have you ever even thought about Dustin’s students who caught Michelle’s live show? His neighbors? Children playing out on the street? How many people saw her getting away with her dumpster fire garbage behavior without consequences and thought there was no point reporting a crime against someone in uniform because nothing would be done about it? She regularly indulged in assassinating that poor man’s character, his life as her hobby, and got away with it for years!”

Carlos’ mouth dropping open and face paling told TK that his law-abiding Carlos had not considered that.

It was becoming clearer to TK that Carlos just did not consider this secret of his to be a problem. Which was just wild to him considering how sweet and considerate Carlos could be.

TK took a deep breath and forced himself to calm down. Michelle would always remain a sore spot with him. He had been glad she was not part of Carlos’ life when they had begun dating.

“Did your parents know about Iris?” he asked carefully. Carlos’ parents could be a touchy topic for them.

“They did.” Carlos sighed. “At one point it came out. I told my mom a couple of years ago.”

“When we were already together?” TK asked as the betrayal stabbed him all over again.

Carlos nodded slowly.

“If you could tell her, why couldn’t you tell me?” TK asked softly.

“She’s my mom,” Carlos said simply.

TK just hugged the pillow closer to himself.

Carlos sat up, “Babe, she’s my mom. I can tell her when I’ve made a mistake.”

“You said that your parents didn’t discuss an entire part of your life for a decade. Ten whole years. But the moment you felt they’ve opened the door to acceptance you told them this life-changing news but couldn’t tell me? The man living with you and sharing your life?” TK resisted the urge to begin rocking in place. He did not need to self-soothe!

“TK, my mom has always been there for me. I told you their silence was a misunderstanding.”

TK nodded. There it was. Say anything about his mommy and Carlos would jump to defend her. It was not a discussion TK cared to get into right now. He pressed back against the arm of the chair and took a deep shaky breath.

He infused deliberate calm into his voice and forced himself to ask, “Carlos, when did you plan to tell me you were legally married if the venue’s availability hadn’t forced your hand?”

Carlos’ being unable to meet his eye told him a lot.

“I don’t know. I had been planning to tell you when we were discussing our wills. But then you proposed and we’ve had such a happy few months. I didn’t want to be the one to ruin that and really I’m married in name only.”

TK’s jaw dropped. He snapped it shut, “I’m sorry that me proposing ruined your plans to own up that you’re legally married but never had sex with your wife?”

“TK!” Carlos said, shocked.

“You’re the one repeatedly emphasizing that your marriage is in name only. What other conclusion am I meant to draw? All I care about is that you are married in the eyes of the law.”

“I will find Michelle and Iris and get a divorce,” Carlos said firmly.

“Great,” TK said flatly. He shifted and hauled himself up.

Carlos hurriedly stood up and closed the distance between them. “Baby, we can still get married,” Carlos said emotionally as he grabbed TK’s hand.

“Maybe we can someday in the future,” TK replied softly.

“Why?”

“Because I don’t trust you,” TK whispered honestly.

“You don’t trust me? Why do you keep saying that?” Carlos asked, the hurt visible on his face and voice.

“No, I don’t. And you don’t trust me.”

“I do trust you,” Carlos said firmly.

“If you trusted me you wouldn’t have hidden your spouse from me. I had the right to know that I was dating a married man, Carlos. You’ve turned me into your side piece with this and I don’t appreciate it.” He gently tugged his hand free, “You didn’t trust me with this huge part of your life. And I trusted you with my heart, body, and soul.”

Those beautiful cow eyes as TK fondly referred to them filled with tears.

TK swallowed hard, cupped Carlos’ cheek, and whispered, “I love you, ‘Los. We’ll have to work really hard to regain this lost trust. Because you didn’t trust me with this and it’s something you need to consider too. If you had been sure of my love for you then you would have told me at some point during the past three years rather than when we were planning our wedding because you finally had no choice.” He gave into the urge and gently caressed Carlos’ cheek before forcing himself to stop touching him and walking away.

Day 3

TK tried his best to portray normalcy and project it the next day. He went to the gym, met up with Cooper but chickened out on talking to his stepfather, Enzo. He figured he would avoid it until Enzo caught on and called him out on it. That could take anywhere from a day to a week depending on how things were going with baby J.

When Mateo and Nancy invited them to game night at Owen’s, TK politely declined for himself leaving Carlos to make his own decision. He for one did not want to hang out with his crew outside of work right now and definitely not at his father’s house. TK had checked out of his relationship with his father for the most part and had ignored his father’s shiny new dick mobile motorbike.

He groaned at the knock on his apartment door. He had only just sat down! Shuffling over he checked the camera and sighed when he saw Andrea Reyes was at the door. “Just great,” he muttered.

He unlocked the door and slid it open. “Hey, Andrea.” Standing aside he silently invited her in. “How are you?” he asked politely.

“How do you think I am TK when my son sat in my kitchen upset for hours at his wedding being called off?” Andrea asked stiffly.

TK led the way to the couch and dropped down gracelessly in his customary spot in the corner. “Technically I called off our engagement, not our wedding,” he said calmly. He had had a lot of therapy and was not going to take any manipulative bullshit from Andrea. Listening to her sweetly rant at him for hurting her baby when he had been miserable and weak recovering from nearly dying had been bad enough. He hated confrontation but he could deal with it from parental figures. He had learned how to handle Andrea Reyes’ brand of love from a young age. He hoped he had it in him today to stand his ground.

She huffed and sat down, “It is the same thing! Why, TK? After all that my boy has done for you, gone through for you, why would you do this to him?”

TK’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. “What have I done besides make a decision for my own future? Am I not allowed to make decisions for my future anymore? Carlos is married. There can’t be a wedding anyway.”

“Why not?” Andrea asked.

TK sighed, so it was going to be that kind of conversation. He took a moment to remember the way his mom spoke calmly to clients who she wanted to cheerfully yell at and the way Enzo spoke to students who were idiots and decided to go with Gwyn’s tone for today. Assertive he could be. He rubbed his thigh and shoved Yoda’s voice out of his head. “Because Carlos is married.”

“He told you that it was in name only. And it is his past, TK. Everyone has a past filled with foolish, youthful mistakes. You do too,” Andrea said firmly.

TK knew he would lose his mind right now if she dared elaborate on his youthful mistakes. “Andrea,” he said patiently, “be it in name only, Carlos is legally married. There can’t be a wedding.”

“You boys could have a lovely blessing at the venue, then get married legally once Carlos takes care of the paperwork,” Andrea insisted.

TK sighed internally. Andrea was such a boy mom who believed her baby boy could do no wrong. He thanked his lucky stars that his parents had called him out on his shit on the regular.

“No. I’m not having a blessing with a married man. My family would never forgive me, I would never forgive myself,” TK said firmly. “And respectfully, Andrea, this is between me and Carlos. I’m not comfortable with you advocating for him. If he has something to say, he can tell me himself.”

He bit back what he truly wanted to say, which was that if she insisted on defending Carlos that he did not have a mommy of his own to come defend him, that his mother had died, and that she was being cruel right now by doing this to me.

“Do you blame him, TK? If he says anything you may run again. You have done it before,” Andrea scolded.

“That’s still between us,” TK said firmly. There were limits to how much he could push his non-confrontational self. He rubbed his arm anxiously, this had to stop. He refused to defend himself by telling her his reasons for breaking up with Carlos had been valid whether she liked them or not.

Andrea stood up and stared down at him. “I told you not to hurt him again except that’s all you seem to do.”

And your son just keeps lying to me and betraying me, TK thought but refused to verbalize. To him, it was just ridiculous that Andrea had not taken an interest in her son’s personal life for a decade but now Carlos and Andrea behaved as if they had always had the best relationship and that Carlos was a mama’s boy. The retconning that went on in the Reyes family was unbelievable.

“You have nothing to say?” Andrea challenged.

TK shrugged, “I don’t know what you want me to say. We both see this situation differently and that’s just how it’s going to be.” It was clear she was spoiling for an argument but TK had nothing to give her.

Andrea shook her head and walked out.

Day 4

TK did not know what to do about work. How to behave, what to say to portray normalcy. He decided to keep his head down and not say much in the hopes of sliding through the day. The first half of the day passed without incident. They went out on a couple of calls and stayed focused on the job.

It was when dinner time came around that attention swung to him when he joined the assembly line they had in the kitchen to make sandwiches for dinner.

“You’re eating carbs after sunset?” Nancy asked.

TK glanced at her and then back at the crispy eggplant he was laying down on his bread. “Yup,” he smiled slightly.

“Why?”

TK blinked his surprise at the sandwich before glancing at her again. “I realized the whole diet thing was pretty silly. I make good food choices most of the time, I work out. Carbs at both meals are not my enemy and intermittent fasting was boring me silly.” He winked at Paul, “And I couldn’t pass up on Paul’s tomato relish.”

Paul smiled and clapped TK’s back, “That’s right, my man. And I upgraded it, it’s a tomato tarragon relish now.”

“Oh, nice!” TK said enthusiastically and returned to putting his sandwich together.

He was grateful when Judd stuck close by and kept up a steady stream of chatter with Paul, asking about the changes he had made to the relish and the new things he had been cooking. TK in turn told them about the curry kick he had been on by cooking different curries from around the world.

He was grateful for his current relationship with Judd and Paul. Mentors when need be and mature friends whom he could have difficult conversations with. They were the brotherhood he had craved back in New York where most people had treated him as their boss’ baby boy.

“You okay, kid?”

TK looked up from his sandwich and nodded as Judd towered over him.

Judd sighed and sat down. “Okay, do you need me to coax it outta you, or is this something you need time to brew and stew over in your head?”

TK smiled slightly, “I need time to brew and stew. But thanks for asking.”

Judd nodded, “I’ll give you a week. Then I’m asking again.”

“A week sounds good. A week should be enough.”

TK hoped to himself that a week was enough to resolve the issues in his relationship.

Day 5

TK slowly pushed open the door to the sun-drenched loft and bit his lip hard when it no longer felt even a bit like home. His sense of security was gone again. He shut the door and leaned against it as he took in the cute little pots of herbs and flowers that sat thriving in the sunshine on their ledge in front of the window. At the comfortable cushions he had bought for the couch since Carlos fell asleep there while reading all too often. His eyes moved to the kitchen where the matching canisters he had bought sat on the counter, each one holding a different cookie, biscuit or the nuts and seeds mix he made for them to snack on.

He had taken the time, patience, and care to build his home. And now it no longer felt like his.

He leaned his head back against the door. Texas was a community property state. This meant Iris, if found, could acquire their home in the divorce. TK was not sure how that would work if she still lived on the street because her family made strange choices. He winced and pushed away from the door. He could not think about that. It was none of his business that her family left her to live out on the streets. He was not judging them. He wasn’t. He winced, he knew he totally was and could not let anyone know that.

He was glad in a way that he had not put money into purchasing the loft and that Carlos had refused all his offers to contribute. Now he would not be risking his property being shared by Carlos’ wife. He considered the money he had set aside as rent each month which Carlos refused to take from him. He had been planning to offer that money for their wedding or honeymoon. Now it would just sit collecting away.

He sank down on the couch and pressed his palms to his eyes. He did not know what to do. Who could he talk to about this huge bomb Carlos had dropped on him? Did he need to ask Carlos’ permission to talk to his friends about it?

He dropped his hands and sat up. What the hell was wrong with him? Carlos had not asked his permission before going to cry to his mother! Carlos had not asked his permission before letting Andrea Reyes loose on him. Why was he behaving like a moron who needed his fiancé, his brain screeched to a halt and reversed back, his… his… his former fiancé, the undefined man he lived with, permission to talk about this with his friends? He did not.

“I’m an idiot,” TK muttered to himself as he grabbed his phone and sent the same WhatsApp message to two people.

TK – 911. Crisis. Need to talk.

He could not help but smile when Judd immediately began calling him.

He cleared his throat, “Hello.”

“Are you safe? What’s the matter? Is this a phone talk? Want me to run over?” Judd demanded immediately.

“I’m safe. It’s a longish, upsetting story. It can be a phone talk. I don’t want you to run over, you must be with Char.”

“Can it keep until the evening then? Come over for dinner. We’ll talk, you can cry and then I’ll feed you,” Judd suggested.

“I won’t cry,” TK huffed. “Okay, that’s a lie. I totally will cry. And yeah it can keep until the evening.”

“Did you text anyone else? Bring them over too,” Judd offered.

“Paul. I’ll check with him. Can we bring anything?”

“Look at you, still so polite and a good guest even when you’re in a 911 crisis, you sweet New Yorker. Just come over.”

TK smiled in relief at Judd’s friendship, “Thanks, Judd.”

“See you soon, TK. Oh and Char’s pulling hair now so beware,” he said and quickly hung up.

TK stared at the phone and winced. Redirecting baby girl Ryder’s attention from his hair was going to be fun. He should never have kept petting her hair. And he also could never admit to Judd that she had learned to do the child version of pet the hair by pulling thanks to him.

He saw that Paul had replied and tapped the message open.

Paul – Want me to come over or do you need to get out?

He was grateful that Paul was a texter like him.

TK – Judd’s invited us over for dinner if you’re free to come to his at 5ish?

Paul – That works. Want me to pick you up?

TK bit his lip and decided that would work.

TK – Yes, please. Thanks.

Paul: No problem. I’ll text when I leave and call when I’m 5 away.

TK – <thumbs up emoji>

He slowly pressed back into the couch until he was staring up at the ceiling. Now all he had to do was breathe.

—

TK checked the time and went into the kitchen to start packing away the shortbread cookies he had baked. He hesitated once he had most in the box when he realized he had instinctively kept a small batch aside for Carlos. Staring at the cookies in betrayal he reluctantly put them into Carlos’ cookie jar and put it back in its place in the cupboard.

Don’t be petty, he thought to himself.

Grabbing his wallet and keys, he locked up and went downstairs to meet Paul. Seeing Paul’s car pulled up right outside his building, he slid in and pulled his seatbelt on.

“Hey, thanks for picking me up.”

“Are those cookies, Tyler-Kennedy?” Paul was staring at the box on his lap.

“Shortbread cookies half dipped in milk chocolate,” TK confirmed.

“Aww man, you made shortbread cookies,” Paul whined as he began driving.

“Relax, you hate milk chocolate.”

“But shortbread cookies.”

“You said you were on a diet!” TK protested. “This is a big enough batch for Grace, I can take some out for you.”

“Yes,” Paul said. “No,” he followed up immediately.

“That cleared things up,” TK said dryly.

“No,” Paul said firmly. “I need to be off sugar for the rest of this month. Then after,” he trailed off leadingly.

“I will make you shortbread cookies,” TK promised.

“Thanks, brother.” Paul glanced at the box again, “Can’t believe you made cookies for them.”

“So if I look in the backseat I’m not going to find some cute little host gift you’ve brought along?” TK asked casually.

Paul sighed, “My mama raised a gentleman.”

TK smiled, “My mama and Zo did the same.”

“You okay?” Paul asked a couple of minutes later.

“No,” TK replied truthfully.

“You feel like using?”

TK appreciated Paul sticking to the script they had come up with when he had restarted his sobriety journey after being drugged. Honesty was key. Honesty and no judgment, just acceptance, and support. He loved Paul for being his source of support for this.

TK breathed a sigh of relief, “No. I want to be fully aware and feel every bit of this so that it can’t turn around and become something that’s my fault down the line.”

“TK,” Paul said and glanced at him in concern.

“We’re nearly there, I can only get through this once. Please,” TK said softly.

“Ok, brother. I’m here for you. We got your back.”

TK tried to relax at those words but he was wound tight and just wanted to tell someone and share this giant burden sitting on his shoulders weighing him down.

In minutes Paul had parked and they were standing knocking on the Ryder’s door.

Judd opened the door and waved the baby monitor at them. They understood that to mean Charlotte Ryder was still down for her nap. Flashing him a thumbs up they walked in and set their things down in the kitchen.

“She still waking up with everything?” Paul asked softly.

“Nah, just doors closing too hard now. Gracie said she watched TV here last night while the little miss slept and had no issues.”

“That’s great,” TK said, pleased that Charlotte was now sleeping through noises better. She had gone through a phase where she had required complete and utter silence in order to fall asleep.

Judd waved his hand toward the couches, “I made that lemonade y’all like. Sit and start talking, mini Strand.”

TK sat down in the corner of the couch he usually occupied when visiting, grabbed a pillow to hug, and watched Paul pour them Judd’s famous lemonade. He waited until Paul had set the glass in front of him and taken a sip before he felt ready to talk.

“Uh, maybe you should put that glass down, Paul,” TK suggested.

“Why?” Paul asked curiously.

“I don’t know how you’ll react and wouldn’t want you to spill.”

Paul blinked and exchanged a glance with Judd. “That bad, huh?”

TK just nodded and waited until Paul had put his glass down. He took a deep breath and slowly exhaled. “Carlos is married.”

Paul’s jaw dropped open while Judd frowned.

“Y’all eloped?” Judd grumbled.

Paul slowly shook his head, “That’s not it. Who, TK?”

“To a woman,” TK bit his lip. He sighed explosively, “Remember when he came over during work earlier this week?”

“Yeah, he said something that bothered you a great deal. Your entire mood was off the rest of the shift,” Paul said.

“Well yeah, your gay fiancé casually dropping by to let you know he’s married. To a woman. Which makes him a cheater. And not gay. It would put me right off my day,” Judd said in a shocked tone. He grabbed TK’s arm, “What the hell, TK? Did Reyes step out on you?”

TK shook his head, “I think he stepped out on his wife with me.” His breath hitched, “I’m the other person in this relationship.”

Paul shook his head, “Tell us everything.”

TK haltingly told them about Carlos visiting him at work to tell him the venue they had loved was available. And that he was married.

“Wait, so he just casually slipped in that he was married?” Paul asked incredulously.

TK nodded, “Yup.” He hugged the pillow tighter, “I’m still replaying it over and over in my mind wondering if there was any hint that he was about to drop this bomb on me. Hell, I’ve been going over our entire relationship wondering what I missed.”

“So he’s been leading a double life with a woman all through your relationship?” Judd asked in a hushed voice.

Paul was horrified, “You need to get tested,” he whispered.

TK shook his head and held out his hands, “He’s married, but according to him just legally and in name only.”

Paul and Judd exchanged another glance.

“Just legally and in name only? What does that he even mean by just?” Judd demanded.

TK rubbed his eyes, “I-I don’t know. Carlos repeated in name only to me so many times that it lost its meaning.”

“He’s tried to downplay the fact that he is legally married and then hammer it home to you,” Paul said angrily.

“Who is he married to? What’s the story there?” Judd asked.

“Iris Blake.” TK met their eyes, “Michelle Blake of the 126’s sister.”

Paul winced and Judd pinched the bridge of his nose.

Judd looked up as if asking his God to give him strength, “If he’s married to her why didn’t he keep her off the streets after she was found?”

TK shrugged, “I have no idea. But here’s where it gets interesting, and I use that word very sadly; before Michelle and her mother released Iris back onto the streets, they reached out to Carlos and got him to get Iris onto his insurance. But they didn’t let him see her.”

“Well, damn boy, I got no fucking words,” Judd hissed then sucked air in through his teeth when the main door opened. He cocked his head and waited until he heard it shut softly, staring intensely at the baby monitor for ten silent long seconds before relaxing. He waved his hand to indicate they could talk again.

“Hi all,” Grace looked between them. “Y’all fighting?”

TK shook his head. “Hi Grace,” he said with a small smile.

“What’s wrong, hun?” Grace looked between them.

Judd suddenly sat up straight, “Gracie may know something.”

Grace raised her eyebrows as the three men turned to focus on her.

TK winced, “Sorry to bombard you as you walked in the door.”

Grace waved her hand as she set her bag down and washed her hands before joining them in the living room.

“What’s going on?” she asked as she sat down next to TK and gently touched his shoulder.

TK met her eyes, “Carlos is already married.”

Grace reared back a bit in surprise, “He didn’t get a divorce?” she asked, shocked.

“You knew?” Judd asked.

Grace looked between him and TK, “Well, yes. When Iris went missing, it was pushed heavily due to her being Captain Michelle Blake’s sister. We all got curious and heard her last call. And then we spent years fielding 9-1-1 calls from Dustin Shepard and his neighbors, his students, his place of work. It was honestly a mess the way that woman went around stirring the pot and creating a mess without any consequences. She ruined that poor man’s life and made herself a nuisance all around.”

She sighed and looked at TK, “Iris Blake was marked in the system as the sister of a first responder and the wife of a first responder, an APD. We all understood that Michelle’s behavior was being covered up by APD and AFD and one of our own when the arresting officer was often Carlos Reyes, her brother-in-law.” She shook her head, “I am so sorry, TK. I thought Carlos must have filed paperwork when she was missing for so long. I didn’t tell you about his past as a married man when you introduced us as I thought that was in his past and none of my business to poke into and bring up.”

TK swallowed hard and shook his head, “None of this is your fault, Grace. Thank you for telling me now.”

“Carlos told TK the marriage was in name only,” Paul filled Grace in.

Grace blinked in surprise, “Marriage means something to me so that does not sit right for me.” She looked at TK, “What I want to know is how he could accept your proposal when he is a married man. How you have spent the past several weeks going all around looking at venues and putting your names down when he is married! What was that man thinking.” She shook her head, “Oh, sweetheart, I am appalled on your behalf.” She caught his hand and rubbed it between hers.

“Thank you,” TK whispered.

“Why did he finally own up to it?” Grace asked.

TK smiled wanly, “Cause the Sunset ranch we had loved for the wedding had a cancellation. We could get married there in eight weeks.”

Grace started shaking her head as TK spoke. “This is just,” she trailed off. “I don’t even know what to say.” She met TK’s eyes, “Do you think he has a head injury?”

TK shook his head, “I asked him already. He said he hadn’t taken any injury lately, had no headaches, fever, or drank anything suspicious. Nothing.”

“You cannot stay engaged to that man,” Judd declared.

“Judd!” Grace admonished him.

“What? You think Reyes deserves TK after all this? How can he even stay engaged to a married man?” Judd demanded softly.

“No, of course not! I just meant be gentle with TK,” Grace said and rubbed TK’s arm.

“Do you want me to give you a hug?” Judd leaned forward. “Pat your head? Your hair? Your feelings? Once Char wakes up she’ll pat your hair and make you feel all better.”

TK let out a watery laugh and swiped his sleeve under his eyes, “I’m fine.”

Grace continued rubbing his arm, “You’re not, darling. How can you be? Your heart is breaking.”

“I don’t understand how he could do this to me.” He raised teary eyes and met Grace’s, “How could he do this to me, Grace?” TK covered his eyes with his hand and shook his head as he finally broke down.

—

“What are you going to do?” Grace asked after they had eaten dinner and retired back to the couch.

TK shook his head, “I don’t know. I told him to consider us unengaged. His mother came over to tell me off for hurting her baby boy’s feelings.” At Paul and Grace’s gasps, he nodded.

“What on earth does she expect you to do?” Grace asked aghast.

“Overlook her son’s youthful mistake. After all, I’ve made plenty of youthful mistakes of my own,” TK said self-deprecatingly.

“With all due respect here, your mistakes messed with your life and nobody else’s. You fixed your own mistakes, Carlos has dragged you into his,” Paul said firmly.

TK sighed heavily, “It got worse.” He rubbed his face, “She feels we ought to go ahead with the wedding.”

“How?”

“By having a lovely blessing at the venue. Then we can handle the legalities after Carlos gets a divorce.”

“Good gracious. That’s just all kinds of wrong,” Grace said.

“I almost thought she was joking,” TK grabbed the pillow and hugged it again.

“Maybe it’s because it’s two men? You did say his parents didn’t mention it after he came out to them and didn’t ask about his personal life for the next decade. The Reyes are religious. Maybe marriage between two men doesn’t really equal a marriage to her,” Paul pointed out.

“She doesn’t think much of me,” TK said in a small voice.

“We don’t think much of her,” Grace said firmly.

TK was well aware of that. When Andrea had been gently scolding him about hurting Carlos’ feelings by breaking up with him, while he had still been in the hospital, Judd and Grace had walked in for a visit with baby Charlotte. They had been furious over it.

“There is absolutely no chance you will give into that foolish blessing idea, right?” Judd asked from where he had walked in after changing Charlotte’s diaper. He had switched on the baby monitor on both ends so he could listen as they talked. He brought Charlotte over to TK and gently set her down on his lap.

“No,” TK said firmly to Charlotte as she reached up to grab his hair. He caught her hands and kissed her fists. “No,” he repeated to them, “Marriage means something to me. Zo would flip out, my nonna would disown me.”

Paul nodded, “Stick with Nonna. What can they say if they ask again if you say your nonna is against it? If they keep pushing they’ll come across as assh-” he halted and cleared his throat, “as awful people.”

“I hope it doesn’t come up again.” He winced as Charlotte tugged on his hair, “I hope Carlos doesn’t bring it up.” He gently opened Charlotte’s fist and held her wrist to show her how to pat his hair, “Like this, sweet girl, gentle. Pat pat,” he held her hand and patted his hair, “no pull pull.”

Grace sighed, “If you get her to stop pulling I’ll get you that pie you like.”

“You’re rewarding him for teaching our baby girl how to pull hair?” Judd asked as he sat down.

“What? TK didn’t teach her that,” Grace protested.

“Oh I suspect he did,” Judd said as he glanced at TK. “She began doing it after he came over to play with her.”

“Do you have any proof?” TK asked sweetly.

“No, just a gut feeling,” Judd said with narrowed eyes.

TK winked, “Pop a tums, it’s probably indigestion.” He looked at Grace, “Is this your mom’s pie? The apple blueberry?”

Grace smiled, “It can be.”

TK let go of Charlotte’s hands and smiled at her. “Pat-pat gently, Char, no pulling. Come on, show mama how gentle you can be.” He bent his head and grinned as she pressed her tiny hands onto his hair without closing her fingers around them.

“How are you the baby whisperer?” Judd demanded. “You have no babies around you except Char and J.”

TK grinned, “That’s for me to know and you to reap the benefits of,” he winked again and looked at Grace who had stood up to take pictures of Charlotte and TK playing.

“I’ll tell mama her grandbaby may soon stop pulling and get you your pie,” Grace promised.

“That’s my man,” Paul laughed.

TK smiled, feeling better for unloading his feelings and for having friends he could share his sorrows with.

Things could now only get better. There was no way Carlos could make this situation worse.

Day 6

“I found Iris.”

TK froze and then looked up from the book he was reading. “Is she okay?” he asked immediately. No matter his personal feelings toward this woman who had asked her gay friend to marry her for emotional support, she was someone who had been through a lot.

Carlos winced, “Well I found Michelle. I’m going to go see her tomorrow.”

“How did you find her?” TK asked curiously.

“I’m a cop,” Carlos said stiffly and dropped down onto the couch beside TK.

TK nodded and patted Carlos’ thigh sympathetically. Michelle had refused to take any of Carlos’ calls or return his messages for days. Seeing Carlos’ frustration and sadness over this behavior had thawed TK’s ire toward him.

“Strange that Michelle or even Iris didn’t reach out to you in all this time,” TK said softly.

Carlos sighed, “It’s pretty typical of them. Iris and I barely spoke once a month before she disappeared. Michelle and I only got close because of Iris’ disappearance and even that was pretty much all about Michelle and keeping her out of trouble.”

TK rubbed Carlos’ thigh while ignoring how Carlos had kept Michelle out of trouble while she had gleefully stalked and harassed an innocent man. “Well, time to put all that behind you. Hold onto the fact that you did a good deed by adding and keeping Iris on your insurance.”All the while you were in a relationship, he thought to himself.

“And if she can’t do it on her own?” Carlos asked softly.

“That’s not something I can help you with, Carlos. It’s your decision,” TK said softly.

“But you would leave me,” Carlos stated.

“I can’t be with a married man. I’m allowed to have that boundary,” TK said carefully. “And I see no future with a married man.”

“I want a future, TK, and I want it with you,” Carlos said firmly.

TK nodded while wondering why they were having that conversation. He was not asking Carlos to choose. He was just making a choice for himself which Carlos in the past few days kept interpreting as an ultimatum. He felt for Iris’ situation but that was something her family needed to help with. He recognized that was just his opinion and that Carlos’ may feel differently.

Day 7

TK was glad it had been an uneventful shift so far. He had been on edge since yesterday when Carlos had told him he had found Michelle Blake. Finding her and talking to her was the first step in Carlos getting a divorce. Living together while their relationship was in limbo was exhausting and it had only been six days.

“TK,” Marjan said as she sat down on the couch TK was curled up on.

TK smiled at her, “Hey Marjan.”

“Is everything okay?”

“Yes.”

Marjan frowned at that, “It’s just you haven’t come out with us in a few weeks.”

“I just haven’t been in the right frame of mind to hang out in bars, Marjan. That’s all,” TK explained.

“Oh! You should have told us. We would have gone somewhere else,” she said sincerely.

TK smiled, “That’s sweet but not necessary. You guys wanted to have a night out with drinks and that’s okay.”

“We could do it at home,” Mateo said as he overheard and joined them with Nancy.

“You didn’t want to come to game night at your dad’s either,” Nancy added.

TK looked at Nancy, “The venue for game night being at my dad’s was not a factor in that. The issue isn’t the venue, it’s the alcohol. There are times when I just don’t feel like being around it. I appreciate you guys wanting to include me,” he said sincerely.

“Is there something we should know about?” Nancy asked gently.

TK shook his head, “I just don’t feel like being around alcohol right now and that’s all there is to that.”

He would never admit that he felt uncomfortable around Nancy ever since he had broken up with Carlos last year.

She had kept inviting Carlos to group hangouts by claiming she was not going to take sides and remained unbothered by how seeing Carlos was not what TK had wanted at the time. To him, it had felt like she had picked Carlos over him by involving him in their 126 group hangouts. It had hurt his feelings and let him know where he stood with her. And now it did make sense. Nancy had worked with Michelle so she had known Carlos as Michelle’s friend. Probably even as Iris’ husband for all he knew about it.

“How’s wedding planning going?” Marjan changed the subject and asked.

TK winced internally. He had hoped no one would ask. “No planning as yet. We did put our names down at a whole bunch of venues. Post-pandemic there has been a huge demand for venues and catering. Availability is an issue. But it does actually work out in that we’re in no rush so we’ll wait a couple of years and use the time to save up. Weddings are expensive!” he said with forced cheer.

“Cap will help you with that, won’t he?” Mateo asked.

TK shrugged, “I didn’t plan to ask him,” he said honestly.

“Why? He’s your dad,” Marjan said.

“Yeah,” Mateo said. “He has been talking to bakeries about cake samples and everything.”

That was news to TK. When Owen was in the hospital and had wondered why the doctors had informed TK about his health, TK had retreated from his father. He was tired of Owen not wanting to share things with him, of Owen being there for everyone but him. Owen had stepped up when Gwyn had died but that hadn’t lasted long. Sadie drugging TK and Carlos in their own home had driven another wedge into his relationship with his father.

They barely talked. Case in point being that Mateo knew about Owen discussing cake samples while Owen hadn’t even asked TK about his wedding plans.

“That’s kind of him but not necessary,” TK finally said when he realized they were waiting for his answer.

Day 8

The next morning TK huffed and set the weight down. He had hoped working out would distract him but all he could think about was that Carlos was meeting Michelle today.

And because he had reinforced his boundaries around work, Carlos hopefully would not drop by to tell him how it went. On one hand, TK desperately wanted to know how it went, he wanted to be there for Carlos if he needed support. But he had decided that was not something he wanted to offer Carlos while he was at work. He was not a great actor and his colleagues were nosy. He could not risk them finding out Carlos’ secret from him.

He picked the twenty-pound dumbbells back up and adjusted his stance. He just had to keep trying to distract himself.

—

Six hours later TK slipped into the loft and looked around. The air was quiet around him in a manner that spoke of an empty space.

He checked his phone and went about unpacking his bag when he did not find any message from Carlos. He started a load of laundry and headed for a shower. His curiosity would just have to simmer a little longer before it was satisfied.

When he came out of the bathroom he found Carlos in the kitchen putting groceries away.

“Hey. Sorry, I didn’t mention going out, I thought I’d be back before you got home,” Carlos explained.

“Hey. It’s fine. I had all greens so I got back pretty quick,” TK said. He frowned and peered closely at Carlos, “There’s a cut on your cheek.” He gently pressed his fingers under Carlos’ chin to tilt his head up. “How’d this happen?” Even as he asked his mind was analyzing the spot and angle. It wasn’t a knick from shaving but the angle was just perfect for when someone smacks someone across the face with a ring on. “Carlos, did someone hit you?” he asked worriedly.

“I smacked into the bathroom door while sleepy this morning.” Carlos grabbed TK’s hand and tugged on it, “Let’s sit?” He was silent for a moment before he spoke, “Um, well the good thing is that instead of Michelle, I found Iris.”

TK said down on the couch, “Wow. Is she okay?” he asked immediately.

Carlos smiled softly at him, “She’s okay. She’s on medication. And working there at Sanctuary Hearts. TK, she has full coverage there, medication, and everything. She doesn’t need my insurance anymore. She told me she’s no longer my responsibility.”

“That’s great,” TK forced out while his mind whirred with thoughts as to why Michelle had not told Carlos that Iris no longer needed his insurance, why Iris had not reached out to him at all, and why Carlos did not seem thrilled about being released from the obligation of his marriage. “So, she signed the papers?”

Carlos winced, “No. Um, she said she can’t wait to meet you,” he said with forced cheer.

TK blinked, wondering why on earth he would want to meet Carlos’ wife.

“I told her she’ll come to the wedding and meet you there,” Carlos went on.

TK just continued staring at Carlos wondering if this was a joke. There was not going to be a wedding any time soon and if and when there was one he certainly would not want his groom’s ex-wife there.

“She said she needs to meet you if she’s gonna sign the divorce papers with a clear conscience,” Carlos said hesitantly.

“You’re joking, right?” TK asked slowly.

“That’s what I asked her. She said how’s tomorrow night. So,” Carlos said with enthusiasm that fell flat, “Iris is coming over for dinner tomorrow night.”

Day 9

TK was fixing the collar of his shirt when Carlos came into the bedroom.

“You changed again?” Carlos asked as he leaned in the doorway.

“I’m nervous. I feel like I’m meeting your parents.” TK rolled his eyes at himself in the mirror.

Carlos scoffed, “Not my parents. Just my wife.”

TK rolled his eyes at Carlos this time, “Ha. So funny. Remind me to laugh in my next life.”

Carlos winced and rubbed his foot against the floor. “Hey, remember what I said? Her meds tend to remove the filter. She can be blunt, but not malicious. Don’t take it personally.”

“If those aren’t cautioning words I don’t know what is,” TK murmured. He sighed, “Okay.”

“Okay?”

“You’re all good. I’ll try not to take it personally if your wife says anything that hurts my feelings,” TK said flatly.

Carlos exhaled sharply and opened his mouth when there was a sharp knock on the door. TK just looked at him. It was showtime.

“Iris,” Carlos said as he opened the door.

“Hey, Carlos.”

TK watched them hug and just knew he would not react well if Carlos’ wife tried to hug him.

“Iris, this is TK Strand, my fiancé. TK this is Iris,” Carlos introduced them.

“His wife,” Iris provided with an abrupt laugh.

TK wondered why on earth Carlos was still introducing him as his fiancé but decided to let it pass for now and forced himself not to snap at Iris for her wife comment. “Hi,” he said simply. “Please have a seat.”

He sat down and hoped he had not reacted when Carlos chose to sit down close to him, their thighs pressed together while Iris took a seat opposite them.

“This place is really nice,” Iris said as she looked around. “It’s much nicer than my last place.”

“Where was that?” TK asked, trying to make conversation.

“Under an overpass,” Iris said flatly.

“Right,” TK said awkwardly.

“So… you wanna get married?” Iris asked.

“That’s the plan,” TK decided to go along with Carlos’ lie.

“Yeah,” Carlos said brightly.

“Why?” Iris asked.

“Why?” TK was taken aback by the question.

“Hmm. Seems like you already are living together, so why marriage?”

“Um, we wanna make it official,” TK said as he glanced at Carlos. Now he was all for helping Carlos out with this lie so he could get divorced from this woman who thought she got a say in why her in-name-only husband wanted a divorce.

“For tax purposes?” Iris asked curiously.

“No,” TK said flatly.

Iris looked around then at TK, “Carlos said that you used to be a firefighter, now you’re a paramedic. Don’t they make less?”

TK glanced at Carlos again, wondering at his silence. “No, I do okay.”

“Is it because you’re short?”

“Excuse you,” TK said politely, refusing to indulge her with an answer to her ridiculous question. He glanced at Carlos again wondering why the man was just sitting there while his wife behaved like a brat.

“Was it because being a paramedic is less dangerous? I mean, some people would say that’s cowardly, but I don’t think so. I think it’s smart,” Iris said serenely.

“No.” TK sighed internally and decided to answer hoping it would be enough for her and move things along. “I felt that it was my calling and something I needed to do for myself,” TK said calmly.

Carlos finally spoke up, “And, um, being a paramedic comes with plenty of danger. The paramedic TK replaced got killed in the field.”

TK ignored Carlos’ glance at him and stayed focused on Iris.

“That’s so sad,” Iris said.

“Yeah. By a lava bomb,” Carlos continued filling Iris in.

Iris nodded, “That’s cool. But still sad.”

Carlos leaned forward, “And last year, during the blizzard, TK was rescuing a kid trapped under the ice and got really bad hypothermia, ended up in a coma, and almost died, so,” he trailed off and shrugged.

Iris looked at TK, “I thought you were shot.”

“That was the other coma,” TK said.

Iris leaned forward, “How many comas have you been in?”

“Oh, just the three, but only two since I moved to Texas. So, yeah,” TK said awkwardly.

“That seems like a lot of comas.”

“Yeah, it’s a bit more than average,” TK said politely while wondering what on earth they were doing here.

“That’s true,” Iris agreed.

Carlos nodded his head, “Yeah.”

There was a long awkward moment where the music playing in the background felt too loud as they looked at each other.

“Divorce papers?” Iris finally asked.

TK held back a sigh of relief. Finally, they were getting to the point!

“Yes. Yes. Here you go,” Carlos slid the papers across the table to Iris.

“Thank you.”

“Here’s a pen,” TK said helpfully and set a pen down by the papers.

“I don’t need a pen. I have pens,” Iris said as she put the papers into her bag.

TK sat up straight, “Wh-what? You’re not gonna sign it now?”

Iris smiled, “No, I need to read it, you know, think it over.”

“What is there to think about it?” TK asked.

Iris ignored him and looked at Carlos, “Are you guys gonna eat those?” She waved her hand toward the plate of garlic knots on the table. “I don’t see you doing a lot of carbs.”

Carlos shook his head, “You can take them. You want a bag or…”

“No, I’m good,” Iris said and upturned the plate into her bag.

TK reared back a bit in surprise, “Oh.” He stared at her bag where the garlic knots now sat with the divorce papers and god knows what else.

“Carlos, let’s do this again sometime,” Iris said lightly as she stood up.

Carlos stood up and nodded, “Yeah. You’re always welcome here,” he said with a smile.

“TK,” Iris said and looked at him.

“Mm-hmm,” TK hummed as he slowly stood up.

“Pleasure to meet you.”

“Mm-hmm,” TK hummed again, refusing to provide a verbal reply.

“You’re exactly what I expected,” Iris said to TK. “Bye!” She said and walked out.

TK looked at Carlos and spread his arms, “What the hell just happened?”

Carlos blew out a breath, “Iris happened.”

TK folded his arms across his chest. “Who the hell does she think she is judging my appearance, calling me a coward? And after all that, you told her she’s always welcome here?” he asked roughly.

“TK,” Carlos said patiently, “I need her to know she’s welcome. She’s my friend.”

“A friend you hadn’t seen or heard from in over five years, Carlos,” TK pointed out. “A friend who saw fit to insult and judge me and is now holding your divorce hostage.”

“TK,” Carlos shook his head and began.

TK interrupted him, “She needs to think the divorce over. THINK IT OVER! What is there to think over? She doesn’t need your insurance anymore! And you’re gay! She knows you’re gay but will decide if she’s going to give you the divorce you want.” He ran his hand through his hair and tugged at the strands wondering what the hell had just happened.

“I told you not to take it personally. Her meds have removed her filter. She didn’t mean it maliciously,” Carlos said.

TK stared at Carlos, “You are doing a disservice to every person who is medicated if you expect me to believe that this is all her medication and not that she’s using her condition to just be rude,” he said seriously. “If her medication is causing her to have no filter, then she needs to talk to her psychiatrist who may need to work with her and change her meds or her dosage.”

“You don’t know that TK,” Carlos protested.

“I’m a paramedic,” TK reminded Carlos, “I know enough to know that she can’t be working at a shelter and using her medication and condition to just say whatever she wants to.” He held up his hand, “I don’t want to discuss this further right now. Iris Blake is not welcome here, Carlos. I won’t stand to feel unsafe and uneasy in my own home again. I won’t allow it.”

TK stared at Carlos and gave him a moment to argue against it, to remind TK that this was his apartment and he had paid for it. When Carlos just stared back at him he nodded and walked away.

Day 10

TK smiled as the camera panned to a sleeping Jonah. His baby brother was fast asleep in his crib, hands tucked under his chin. He remained silent as the camera moved out of the room and across the living room.

“Now tell me how dinner with Iris went,” Enzo said as he came back on camera.

TK sighed heavily and began recounting the conversation to fill Enzo in on how dinner the previous night had gone.

“She’ll think about it? What does that even mean?” TK asked.

“Getting divorced from a gay husband doesn’t seem like there’s much to think about,” Enzo agreed.

“I mean, it’s not like she can force Carlos to stay married to her,” TK said. His eyes widened at the look on Enzo’s face, “Right?” he asked weakly.

“Well, no, but she could drag it out,” Enzo said honestly. “I just want you to start preparing yourself that everyone there is going to find out he’s married, Ty.”

TK sighed, “Zo, she’s holding our relationship completely hostage for no good reason. Cause I don’t even want to think that Carlos is my boyfriend while I have this constant reminder of his wife!” He shuddered, “It makes me feel so icky that I’m living with a married man. I’m constantly nervous. I don’t want to touch him, I keep having to remind myself not to call him nicknames. Meanwhile, he keeps calling me baby and babe. Don’t even get me started on our living arrangements. I’ve been sleeping on the couch.” TK rubbed his eye, frustrated by how things were going.

“So don’t let her,” Enzo said calmly. “TK, do you even still want to be in a relationship with Carlos? The man lied to you. For several years. Are you perhaps focusing all your attention on this Iris situation to keep from questioning if you still even trust Carlos?”

TK shook his head, he didn’t want to think about that right now. “I have to deal with the Iris situation, Zo before I deal with the Carlos situation. I can’t-I just can’t walk away! That’s what I always do. I run away when things get hard. And then everyone blames me for it!”

“Not everyone,” Enzo said firmly. “I was in complete agreement with you breaking up with him the last time. As was Judd Ryder. And Paul. And all your friends here.”

“Yeah and everyone else, including mom, thought I overreacted,” TK muttered. It was still hard to mention Gwyneth in a casual conversation.

“Let’s just say your mom was all soft on new baby hormones and ready to cut the man you loved some slack. She wasn’t thrilled about it, Ty,” Enzo said gently.

TK swallowed back his tears and shook his head. He did not want to talk about his mother. “You know what she said last night when she left our place?” he asked instead.

Enzo being the brilliant father he was, went along with TK’s topic change. “Good night?”

“No. She said that I was exactly what she expected. What do you make of that?”

“It’s not a neutral statement,” Enzo offered.

TK stared at Enzo, “It was ominous, Zo. It was very ominous.”

“Well, why don’t you ask her what she meant?”

“Hmm?”

“Go call or meet her and ask her what she meant by that. Get all the information to be had before you let it spring around your head and begin spiraling for no good reason.”

TK huffed, “I don’t like that you know I’m spiraling with this.”

Enzo smiled, “Yeah, you do.”

TK sighed, “Yeah, I do.” He slumped, “When am I seeing you and J next?”

“We’re taking a trip to LA. We’ve got a friend’s wedding to attend. So before the 20th of next month or if you want to join us in LA, we can make a trip of it the six of us.”

“Six?”

“Lorenzo, Antonio, and Clara will be there too.”

“I-,” TK shook his head with a smile, “you’re tempting me.”

“I am,” Enzo said happily. “Come, get away from it all and have a holiday, spend time with your brother. I miss you. And your friend Buck is in LA. I’m sure he’d like to see you too.”

“I miss you too,” TK said softly.

“Then consider coming, Ty. Be around people who love you and want you around.”

TK nodded. He would consider it. He missed being around his people, the people he knew would always be in his corner.

—

TK stared at the building and knew he probably should not do it but he really wanted to close the Iris chapter of their lives. Did he maybe also want to know exactly what she had meant when she said he was exactly like what she had expected? Sure. He shoved that thought aside. It was time to take back control of the story of his life. He was not going to be a side character in his own relationship and life. He located Iris and decided to get right to it.

“Hey, uh, Iris?” he asked carefully.

“Hey, TK.”

“Can we talk?” TK asked politely.

“Sure, if you can keep up,” Iris said easily as she began walking away. “Hey, Seth. Hey, have you seen Donna Burton? She was supposed to be in this morning for her meds.”

TK stood by as Iris had a conversation with a colleague.

“Mm-mmm. She missed Wednesday, too.”

“I think we need to take a ride out to the tracks,” Iris said.

Seth nodded, “I’ll have Ginger cover when she gets in.”

“Okay.”

TK followed Iris as she started walking away again, “Hey. Um, so, did you get a chance to look at the divorce papers?”

“I did, and I think it’s a mistake,” Iris said confidently.

“Look, Iris, I know life’s been super hard for you, but you’ve been handling it very bravely. And this is not a mistake. We are definitely not a mistake. This man is literally my heart,” TK said emotionally.

Iris shook her head, “I-I think you mean figuratively. He can’t literally be your heart. Unless you needed a transplant and he was in some sort of horrible accident and was, like, brain dead. But then you’d have to be a match. You think you’re a match?” she rambled.

TK ignored her rambling and nodded, “In every way that matters,” while cursing himself for speaking about his feelings to her.

“If you say so,” Iris said doubtfully. She shook her head, “I still think it would be a mistake for me to sign the divorce papers.”

“Look, Iris. Carlos considers you a friend, okay? And he cares for you. But he cannot stay married to you,” TK said patiently. “First of all, he’s gay and he’s mine.”

Iris shrugged, “Oh, I know.”

TK forced his frustration back, “So then why won’t you sign the divorce papers?”

“Because if I file for divorce, it would be saying that we were married and we weren’t. I mean, not really. It would be a mistake to say that we were. Besides, you shouldn’t be Carlos’ second marriage. You should be his first and his last.”

TK was now thoroughly confused as to what Iris was talking about. “What are you saying?”

“I thought that was obvious.”

TK refrained from rolling his eyes, “No, not really.”

“I’m saying I don’t think we should get a divorce. I think we should get an annulment. Our marriage wasn’t real, but yours will be,” Iris said.

“Thank you.” TK wasn’t sure what else to say. The fact that she spoke so confidently of an annulment confused him. Carlos and Iris did not qualify for an annulment in Texas.

“Just please don’t sit me next to a Gemini at the wedding. They make me jumpy.”

“No Geminis,” TK repeated while wondering why on earth she expected to be invited to the wedding if and when there was one in the future.

“Okay.”

TK turned to leave, then stopped, he needed to know what she had meant. He forced himself to ask, “Um, hey, one more thing. When you said I was exactly what you expected, just curious, what, what’d you mean by that?”

“Oh, that you’re a hot mess,” Iris said confidently.

“I’m… I’m a hot mess?” TK was taken aback by her casual statement.

“Yeah. The bird with a broken wing, a fixer-upper. Carlos always needs a project. The more tragic, the better. Hell, look at me.”

“Is that what you think I am to Carlos, just a project?” TK asked incredulously.

“No, no, no. I think you’re so much more than that, TK. I think you could be his life’s work,” she said easily. “No Geminis,” she reminded him as she walked away.

TK walked to his car, stunned. The words fixer-upper, tragic, project, hot mess, life’s work, kept echoing around his ears to the point he did not trust himself to drive. He sat in his car, hands shaking on the wheel, taking deep breaths. He felt his breath start to regulate but his thoughts were still a confused jumble.

Did Carlos think he was a project? What about the mess Carlos brought into TK’s life with parents that had not accepted him, sisters he had not been introduced to, a mother that felt free to come berate him for hurting her baby boy, his lack of communication, his smashing TK’s boundaries by putting TK’s name on an apartment he could not afford and now a wife! A wife he had hidden from TK for over two years. Carlos had brought a hidden marriage into TK’s life but he was a hot mess. He needed to talk to Carlos. But now was not the time. He pressed the button to turn his car on and drove to work.

Day 11

TK stewed over it the rest of the day at work and continued stewing over it the following day. Carlos had been out when he got home which gave him more time to sit and TK didn’t want to use the word sulk but that’s exactly what he was doing. He sat with his legs curled up to his chest and sulked.

By the time Carlos got home he was sure he looked well and truly pathetic as he spiraled.

“Babe?” Carlos called out as he walked in. “I don’t really feel like cooking tonight. Do you wanna order in?”

And TK suddenly knew that he was not in the right frame of mind to be having this conversation. He didn’t feel rational and just felt sulky.

“That’s fine,” TK said quietly.

“Any ideas?” Carlos asked as he came closer. “Mexican? Thai?”

“I don’t care. You pick,” TK mumbled.

“Come on, dude, I always pick,” Carlos protested.

“Yeah, you do always pick. You like to pick,” TK said with a small smile. Carlos loved to choose what they ate. His foodie and his control freak.

“I do,” Carlos agreed. “I do like to pick. So why don’t you surprise me tonight?”

“Maybe this relationship is a bad idea,” TK said uneasily.

“Okay, that surprised me,” Carlos said seriously as he dropped down in front of TK.

TK sighed and hugged his legs closer to himself.

“Hey, what’s going on?” Carlos asked gently.

TK swallowed hard, “Do you see me as a project?”

“A project?”

And TK decided he was done and blurted it out. “Like something that needs fixing. Like a bird with a broken wing or a tragic case in need of rescuing?”

“No,” Carlos said firmly. “What are you talking about?”

“When you married Iris… did you feel like you could fix her or save her from her illness?”

“First off, when I married Iris, she wasn’t showing any signs of schizophrenia. And I already told you, TK, when I married Iris, I was a project. I was trying to fix myself. But I was trying to fix something… that wasn’t actually broken,” Carlos explained.

“And when did you figure that out?” TK asked curiously.

“Probably,” Carlos paused and took a deep breath, “the day I met you.”

“Shut up,” TK said shyly.

Carlos laughed.

“So you don’t think I’m a hot mess?” TK asked softly, hope tentatively blooming in his heart.

“Oh, no. You’re a… you’re a hot mess. But you’re my hot mess.”

“I hate you,” TK whispered, torn between joy at the easy banter between them and pain that Carlos was confirming that he thought TK was a mess.

“Yeah?” Carlos gently pressed a kiss against TK’s lips.

It was the closest they had come physically since Carlos broke the giant news of his secret marriage. TK was torn between pulling him close and pushing him away when Carlos’ phone buzzed and thankfully interrupted their moment.

“Hello?” Carlos asked as he stood up. “Yeah. This is Officer Reyes.”

TK watched Carlos pull away from him and stand up. It was not a big deal but he wondered who was on the other end of the call and what news was being delivered to cause Carlos to want to put distance between them.

Stop overthinking every little thing! His mind insisted.

“Is everything okay?” TK asked when Carlos finished his conversation. It was one thing he had learned when he was a child. He did not ask what was wrong, assuming the negative. He always asked if everything was okay, hoping the call was something minor.

“A detective Martinez wants me to come out to a scene,” Carlos said, a furrow between his brows. “By the overpass.”

TK tilted his head, “That’s the spot where a lot of unhoused gather.”

Carlos frowned, “Unhoused?”

“Uh, the politically correct term for homeless. Unhoused, unsheltered,” TK said. For a moment he had forgotten he was in Austin, Texas and his New York came rushing back at him.

“Got it. I gotta get out there. Babe, will you order some dinner? I’ll be back soon.”

TK watched Carlos grab his badge and jacket and leave.

—

TK looked up from his journal when the door opened and Carlos came in.

“Iris is missing.”

TK blinked rapidly. He squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head before focusing on Carlos. “What?”

“Iris is missing,” Carlos repeated. “A detective will be here in a bit to talk to me about it.”

TK slowly stood up, “What? Why?” He held up his hand signifying that he needed a second and quickly got his thoughts in order. “Why does a detective have to talk to you?”

“Iris’ car was found out by the overpass, her bag left in the front passenger seat along with the divorce papers,” Carlos explained.

“Oh,” he finally said softly, “they want to talk to you because she’s your wife.”

Carlos grimaced, “TK.” He paused at the sound of the elevator stopping on their floor and nodded toward the table.

“Please come in. Uh, this is TK Strand, TK this is Detective Grier.”

TK set a tray with two glasses and a jug of water on the dining table and nodded at the woman. “I’ll just go inside.”

“Mr. Strand, you can sit in on this,” Detective Grier said.

TK looked from the detective to Carlos and nodded. He took a seat next to Carlos and across from the detective.

She looked between them then focused on Carlos, “So when Iris left here the other night, you had just served her with divorce papers?”

TK’s hand clenched on his knee at the wording.

“I don’t think served is the right word. She took them with her.”

He relaxed at Carlos’ confident explanation and watched the detective make a note in her little pad.

“Did she seem upset or agitated?” She asked as she looked between her pad and Carlos.

“No,” Carlos said firmly.

“So you wouldn’t characterize this divorce as contentious?”

“Not at all.”

TK watched her glance at her notes again and then look at him before addressing Carlos again.

“And how long has Iris been diagnosed as paranoid schizophrenic?”

“Uh, she wasn’t officially diagnosed until after her sister found her living on the streets a few years ago.”

TK squeezed his knee again, his mind jumping along to how the detective was trying to connect Iris’s disappearance to her condition with the divorce being the trigger. This was not going to be good.

“She had been struggling for a while. She’s… she’s in a good place now,” Carlos said seriously. “She’s seeing a psychiatrist. She’s taking her meds. She’s holding down a job. She’s better.”

TK could tell the detective did not seem to believe Carlos from the way she kept glancing between them. Her next words confirmed it.

“And yet she left her meds behind in her car when she walked away.”

Carlos leaned forward, “I don’t think she walked away. I think she was working.”

Detective Grier smiled gently, “Officer Reyes, I know you’re worried about your friend, but I have nothing at that car to suggest foul play. What I do have is a set of divorce papers handed to her three days ago by a husband she hasn’t seen in over five years. Divorce papers she had not signed.”

TK could not do this. He could not let this detective think Iris had walked away from her life upset over being asked for a divorce. He did not know if Iris had walked away or not, if it was like the last time she had walked away from her life, but he could not let her think Iris had been upset about the divorce. Not when he knew better.

“She wasn’t upset about the divorce,” he said firmly. He felt Carlos turn to look at him and knew this was not going to go well between them. He kept his attention on Detective Grier.

He sighed, “The reason she didn’t sign the papers… is because she thought it would be better if they got an annulment.” TK looked at Carlos and hoped the detective would not know to call attention to the fact that an annulment would not be possible. “I went to see her,” he told Carlos.

Carlos’ face displayed his surprise and unhappiness, “What? When?”

“Yesterday,” TK said in a small voice.

Carlos leaned forward, “Why?”

“So,” TK swallowed and tried again, “so she could sign the papers.”

“TK.”

Carlos’ disappointed tone cut into TK’s soul.

Detective Grier glanced at Carlos then focused on TK, “So you confronted her?”

“No.” TK leaned forward, his hands lifting up to emphasize his refusal. He forced himself to relax. “No, no. It-it wasn’t like that at all,” he rushed to explain. He looked at Carlos, “We had an easy, short conversation.” He sighed and looked back at Detective Grier.

Detective Grier glanced between them. “Alright.” She smoothly gathered her things together and stood up. “I’ll be in touch. If either one of you thinks of anything else, here’s my card.” She left her card on the table.

Carlos stood up with her and shook her hand, “Thank you, detective. I’ll walk you out.”

TK watched them walk to the door, his nerves jumping around. This was not going to be good. He took a few steps forward until he could see Carlos at the door.

“Carlos. She was fine when I saw her. I swear to God,” TK said honestly.

When Carlos turned around he knew Carlos did not believe him.

“Okay,” Carlos said.

TK watched him grab his jacket and go into the bedroom to grab his credentials.

“Where are you going?”

“I have a shift,” was all Carlos said.

TK moved closer, “Yeah. Tomorrow morning.”

“I’m starting early,” Carlos said as he gathered his things and put his jacket on. “I can’t just sit here while she’s out there.”

TK wanted to remind him that as Iris’ legal husband, he should not be getting involved in the case. He wanted to remind him of the mistakes he and Michelle had made the last time. He wanted to ask him to stay.

“You think it’s my fault,” he said the thing he most wanted to say.

“I didn’t say that,” Carlos said as he walked toward the door.

“Yeah, but you’re thinking it,” TK said.

Carlos turned and looked at TK, “You should have given her time, TK.” His features reflected his emotional distress, “We weren’t supposed to push, remember?”

“Uh, I-I know,” TK stuttered while wondering what Carlos was talking about. Why was he treating Iris as fragile?

Carlos raised his voice, “Yeah, she would have come around on her own. You didn’t have to go there and badger her,” he said firmly.

TK’s mouth dropped open, “Badger her? Is that what you think of me? That I’m someone who would badger her?” He shook his head, “Look, I’m sorry. But she was fine when I left,” he said softly.

Carlos shook his head and his voice got louder, “She’s not fine. I gotta go.”

TK pressed his lips together and pressed his fingers against his mouth as the door clicked shut. He squeezed his eyes shut as he backed away from the door and sat down on the couch all the while chanting in his mind, This is not about me. Carlos is upset and rightly so, his WIFE is missing. This is not about me. I can’t make this about myself. I know I did not badger Iris. This is not about me.

But he knew the wound of Carlos’ accusation would stay with him for some time to come. Carlos thought he was the type of person who badgered people. Who had badgered Carlos’ wife.

Day 12

TK woke up feeling more exhausted than when he had gone to bed. Sleep had not been a friend that night and he wished he had not bothered trying. But he knew had to have tried if for no other reason than to stick to his routine.

He stood staring at himself in the mirror, his reflection telling a story of the tears he had cried. He pinched himself and winced. It had not been a dream. Iris Blake, Carlos’ wife, was missing. Carlos had spent all night out on the streets looking for her. And had accused TK of badgering her. He pressed a hand to his trembling mouth and told himself he could not cry again. He could not be that person who kept breaking down causing their significant other to feel bad for them. His emotions were his burden to carry and carry them he would.

As he made the bed and gently fluffed up the pillows, his hand lingered on Carlos’ pillow. TK had taken to sleeping on the couch ever since Carlos had shared his life-changing news of being a married man. He had slept in bed last night because he had been sure Carlos would not return. As he neatly folded the duvet over, he wondered if they would ever share a bed at the same time again.

He sat on the couch, hugged his legs to his chest, and checked his phone. No message from Carlos. Biting his lip, he decided he would call. Carlos was upset about his friend, his wife. TK could afford him some grace over his behavior. Making a face at his own thoughts, he tapped the call button and put the phone on speaker, then heard it ring… and ring… and ring before it went to voicemail.

“Okay then,” he said softly and typed out a message. The rejection stung.

TK – Hi, I hope you got some rest. Any news?

Shaking his head at what he had typed, he quickly changed it around and sent the message.

TK – Hi, any news? I hope you got some rest. Be safe.

Now all he had to do was wait. Alone. And stew in his thoughts of what a horrible human being he was because Carlos believed he had badgered his precious wife. He rested his head on his knees and breathed.

Day 13

“Heads up, your daddy has come in with a shiner,” Judd drawled softly as he joined TK in the kitchen.

TK shut the refrigerator door after putting his fruit away and just shrugged, “What else is new? Another day, another shiner, another fight that Captain Strand gets to saunter away from while the good old boys pat him on the back.”

Judd leaned against the counter, “Wanna tell me what’s got you all salty?”

TK glanced at Paul sitting at the table and tilted his head. Paul looked up when they joined him.

“Iris Blake’s car was found out at Rush Heights,” TK said softly. “Near the unhoused encampment under the 183.” He met their eyes, “Her handbag with medications inside was left behind in the car. As well as the divorce papers with Carlos’ signature on them.”

“No way that woman walked away again, right? She’s on medication,” Judd said.

TK shrugged, “We don’t think so. Carlos is convinced she was taken. The detective who came to speak to us seemed convinced already that since there’s a history there and no signs of foul play that she could have walked away. Course they aren’t officially saying that.” He bit his lip hard and rubbed his thigh, “I went to meet Iris at the shelter the day before,” he confessed.

Judd and Paul both nodded.

“That’s where the hot mess thing came up, right?” Paul asked softly.

“Hot mess?” Judd drawled.

TK looked around and shook his head, “I’ll tell you later.” He had told Paul about it the day it had happened when Paul had coaxed it out of him.

TK nodded. “When I let the detective know that I had seen her and she had seemed fine about the divorce, I didn’t even mention the weird bit, Carlos just got upset. After the detective left he accused me of having gone and badgered her.” He rubbed his arms, “That’s what he thinks of me. That I’m the type to badger people.”

Paul huffed, “TK, man, I’m sorry, I know he’s your guy and you love him but Carlos Reyes is acting like a grade-A asshole right now.”

Judd nodded in agreement. “If that boy thinks you have it in you to go badger someone,—”

“To go badger Carlos’ secret WIFE,” Paul hissed softly.

Judd pointed at Paul, “His secret wife, then the cheese has slid off that boy’s cracker,” he said emphatically.

TK froze for a long moment then looked up from where he had been staring at the table. He met Paul’s eyes to find confusion mirrored back at him. They blinked at each other and slowly looked at Judd.

“Cheese has slid off that boy’s cracker?” Paul repeated slowly.

“His roof ain’t nailed tight?” Judd offered.

TK glanced at Paul then back at Judd, “Try another one?”

Judd sighed tiredly, ”He don’t have to hang from a tree to be a nut,” he grumbled as TK and Paul started laughing. He thumped his hand gently on the table, “Point is, he be cray cray.”

“Cray cray,” TK grinned in delight with a mild side of hysteria. It felt good to laugh! “Who taught you cray cray?”

“Hey now, I ain’t so old that I don’t know cray cray, mini Strand!” Judd protested.

“Sure.” Paul raised his eyebrow, “Who taught you?”

Judd crossed his arms over his chest, “Wyatt.”

TK patted Judd’s arm, the laughter had helped lift the weight that had been weighing his soul down. “Thanks for that, brother Judd.” He smirked at the joke he had slipped in.

Judd shook his head, “Don’t you be starting nothing with me, TK.”

Paul glanced between them, “What am I missing?”

TK smiled and stuck his tongue out at Judd, “I’ll tell you later.”

Judd pretended to scowl, “Brat.”

“What was the weird bit?” Paul suddenly asked.

“What?” Judd questioned.

Paul thrust his chin toward TK, “You said you didn’t even mention the weird bit, Carlos got upset. What weird bit?”

“Oh,” TK fidgeted, wondering if he should tell them. Seeing the encouragement on both their faces he blurted it out, “Iris said they shouldn’t get a divorce, they should get an annulment so that our marriage can be Carlos’ first marriage. And that their marriage meant nothing.” He shook his head, “They don’t qualify for an annulment in Texas. It makes no sense. Where did she even come up with that?”

Paul frowns, “That was an oddly specific lie from her. And just makes her more untrustworthy.”

“Maybe she doesn’t know there can’t be an annulment and has to be a divorce?” Judd offered doubtfully.

“But why offer the annulment as an option? Why raise TK’s hopes? She could have looked into it and seen that it was not an option.” Paul looked between TK and Judd, “She’s refused to sign the divorce papers and suggested an annulment. There’s something very suspicious about this whole thing to me.”

TK just shook his head while rubbing his arms.

—

TK noticed his father’s eye injury as they settled into the shift. Stared at it and him in a fairly obvious manner. When Owen just smiled at him like butter wouldn’t melt in his mouth and did not comment on it, he nodded and put it behind him. If his grown-ass adult father did not want to comment on his latest injury, most probably brought on by a fistfight in some bar, he certainly was not going to push for answers. He was not even going to nudge gently for answers.

Owen had set the tone in their relationship. TK respected his father’s wish to pull back.

—

“Over here, please!”

TK looked at the man who seemed to be their caller and kept a safe distance while the firefighters assessed the scene.

“Please, okay, she’s over here. She’s not answering me.” The man who despatch had filled them in as Granger, wrung his arms and pointed ahead.

“Okay, I need you to step back, sir. Thank you.”

TK watched his dad speak to the man and then walk toward the cliff.

“Ma’am, can you hear me?” Owen called down. “No movement,” he said into the radio and shook his head. “Alright, Strickland, Marwani, you’re riding the ropes. Judd and Mateo, you’re on the winch,” he called out instructions to his crew.

Tommy nodded and turned to Nancy and TK. “Prep fluids. Be prepared for internal injuries, broken bones, and a possible TBI,” she instructed.

TK nodded, “Copy.”

“Copy,” Nancy acknowledged.

TK noticed Carlos arrive on the scene and bit his lip hard when he walked past TK with what felt like a dismissive glance and no overt acknowledgment. He ignored Nancy’s glance and watched Carlos approach Owen. He strained to hear their conversation.

“The victim, is she okay?” Carlos asked strongly.

“Uh, we just got here,” Owen said lightly. “We’re just suiting up. What do you mean, victim?”

“A witness on the service road called in to say that she saw a man throw what had looked like a body over the cliff. The body matches the description of a recent CLEAR Alert,” Carlos explained quickly.

TK straightened up from where he had moved to stand against the truck. “Iris?” He asked, concerned. Carlos was not going to handle this well. He already knew it. Carlos was rigidly tense and had not turned to acknowledge TK.

“It could be her down there,” Carlos said, clearly upset.

“Oh God,” Nancy said softly.

“How is she? Is she okay?” Granger called out.

Carlos turned and looked at the man, “Is that the man that called it in?”

Owen nodded, “That’s the boyfriend.”

Carlos frowned, “Boyfriend?”

Suddenly the man shouted across, “I love you. I’m here for you!”

“Sure,” Carlos said with narrowed eyes.

TK watched Carlos stride over to the man and desperately wanted to stop him and call a halt to this mess before Carlos did something that was detrimental to his career. Carlos should not be involved in this if he suspects that that’s Iris down there! He focused on Carlos hoping for the best but already expecting the worst.

“Sir,” Carlos said loudly as he joined the man, “you placed the call?

“Yes,” The man said. “Is she okay?”

“You told the operator your girlfriend slipped?” Carlos asked firmly.

“Oh, it’s all my fault. You know, I was gonna break up with her today, and-and I think she sensed it and…Do you think she jumped?” The man wailed and asked.

Carlos grimaced, “What’s your girlfriend’s name?”

TK winced, Carlos, was treating the guy as a suspect and displaying no sympathy at that moment. He was too close to this situation and not handling it well.

“Why?” The man asked suspiciously. “I-I don’t really feel comfortable talking about that with a stranger.”

TK winced, the man seemed very emotional. Unbidden, the thought entered his head that Carlos had accused him of badgering Iris while here he was badgering a man who claimed his girlfriend had slipped off the cliff!

“You’re gonna have to answer the question, sir,” Carlos said sternly. “The woman you say fell, is her name Iris?”

“Oh, I don’t like that name. I call her Chrissy,” the man wrung his hands together in clear distress.

“Marwani, Strickland, status report, please,” Owen asked over the radio.

“Gettin’ there, Cap. Still not seeing any movement,” Paul said.

“Or any blood, for that matter,” Marjan added.

“If that’s your girlfriend down there, then you must have a picture of her on your phone. Show it to me,” Carlos demanded.

TK wanted to stop Carlos, to tell him to settle down. But he felt anything and everything he said right now was going to be taken the wrong way. Carlos’ body language had never been this closed off to TK and it hurt his feelings more than he wanted to admit. Carlos had broken his trust. Shattered it. And instead of treating TK gently, he had been giving him the silent treatment for all his crew to see. He would reject anything TK had to say. And TK had a lot he could say about the way Carlos was behaving right now. Unprofessional would be a starting point.

“She doesn’t like to have her picture taken,” the man said emotionally.

“She’s not really your girlfriend, is she?” Carlos asked seriously.

“Why does everyone say that?” The man demanded.

“Did you take her off the street?” Carlos demanded in return.

“I didn’t t-take her! I found her.”

“Where did you find her?” Carlos asked loudly.

TK glanced at the buggy that approached them. He bit down harder on his lip when he saw Detective Grier step out and approach Carlos.

“Officer! A word.” Detective Grier called out.

“Detective, we have a witness responding to the CLEAR Alert,” Carlos said quickly.

“Yeah. Do we have a positive ID?” The detective asked lightly.

“Not yet. They’re… retrieving her,” Carlos gestured to the firefighters spread out.

“Mm-hmm,” Detective Grier made a non-committal sound. “You let me handle this.”

TK watched as she left Carlos and moved over to the man.

“Mr. Granger, hi. I’m Detective Grier. I have just a couple of questions for you,” she said gently.

“Ma’am? Ma’am?”

TK focused on watching Detective Grier and listening to the comms.

“Still no movement.”

“Ma’am, we need to turn you over.”

“Oh!”

“No way.”

“Alright, talk to me.”

“It’s not Iris Blake, Cap.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure.”

“It’s not Iris.”

TK watched Owen turn and inform Carlos that it wasn’t Iris down there.

“Is she alive?”

“Uh, nope.”

“Was she alive when she went over, you think?”

“She… she was never alive… “She’s a sex doll, Cap.”

“Uh, what do you want us to do?”

“Sit tight.”

“Sit tight?”

TK did not share the relief that was visible on Carlos’ face or the amusement on everyone else’s. He felt numb and just wanted to be away from Carlos and the looks being aimed at him from his colleagues who were wondering why his supposed fiancé was ignoring him. He looked down at the ground and began taking steady breaths. He used to love sharing a scene with Carlos, getting a glimpse of his boyfriend at work. Now he just wanted to run away.

“Do you wanna try mouth-to-mouth?”

“I don’t know where she’s been.”

TK heard Marjan and Paul who were down minding the sex doll, laughing and wished he could share their amusement.

Owen came up to where they had gathered. “Okay, so the detective has just gotten off the phone with, uh, Mr. Granger’s psychiatrist, and apparently he suffers from some sort of attachment disorder. And he and Chrissy have been together for over two years.”

“So it’s serious then?” Judd asked.

“No, obviously the therapy has progressed to the point that he’s ready to move on,” Owen said.

Mateo nodded, “I think it’s time.”

TK blinked, time to do what? He ignored Carlos who had come to stand beside him.

“Okay, so if he brought her up here to murder her, why did he call 9-1-1?” Nancy asked.

“He can’t let go of a bad relationship,” Carlos said.

TK slowly glanced at Carlos standing next to him. To him it sounded like Carlos was talking about them. He mentally smacked himself for being so needy and insecure. He forced himself not to react when his crew looked between them. Good job, TK, for having looked at Carlos when he said that, he thought caustically to himself.

Owen nodded, “So maybe we can give him a hand with that. Help end his suffering.”

Tommy nodded with a smile, “And Chrissy’s.”

TK blinked rapidly as Owen explained the plan to Tommy.

“This man has some mental illness, disorder, whatever for which he is under a psychiatrist’s care and you want us to play doctor on a doll?” TK asked softly as he looked incredulously at Owen.

“It’ll help him move on,” Owen said casually.

“You don’t know that,” TK said firmly.

“Neither do you,” Owen challenged.

TK held up his hands and looked at Tommy, “I’m not doing this, Cap, not without instructions from the man’s psychiatrist.”

Tommy nodded, looked at Owen, and sighed, “Nancy and I will do it.”

“TK,” Owen began but Tommy interrupted him by holding up her hand.

“Owen, he doesn’t work for you. And I can’t ask him to do this when he’s expressed clear discomfort at doing so.” Tommy squeezed TK’s arm, “It’s fine, TK.”

TK nodded and stepped back. He folded his arms across his chest, ignored Carlos’ glances at him, and watched Tommy and Nancy trying to save a doll. He caught Judd’s eye as Nancy put all her effort into it and they both shook their heads.

TK cringed as the loud beep filled the air.

“Come on, Chrissy!” Nancy said loudly, “Stay with us.”

Granger grabbed his hair, “Oh, God, please let her be okay.”

“Her pulse is dropping, Cap. We’re losing her,” Nancy shouted. “No, damn it! Live! Live!” She cried dramatically.

“Flatline,” Tommy said gently. “Nancy, it’s over. You did everything you could.”

Tommy sighed deeply and looked at Mr. Granger, “I’m sorry, her injuries were extremely grave. Would you like to say goodbye?”

TK swallowed back his protest. This was levels of ridiculous. A man’s mental illness had been reduced to a joke and he just knew some of the crew would be telling this story as a joke over beers at some point.

Mr. Granger knelt down by the deceased doll, “Goodbye, Chrissy.” He sniffed, “I’ll love you forever.”

“Or your money back.”

TK raised his eyebrows at Paul who shrugged in response.

“Oh, I can’t believe she’s gone,” Mr. Granger wailed.

Owen squeezed his shoulder, “I’m sorry for your loss,” he said gently.

TK shoved away the thought that Owen had it in him to sympathize with this stranger but had not said a word to TK in weeks.

“What do I do now?” Mr. Granger asked Owen.

“Keep going. It’s what Chrissy would have wanted,” Owen said with a nod.

“Thank you. You may not have saved her. But I think you saved me,” Mr. Granger said emotionally.

Owen smiled, “It’s what we’re here for.”

Of course. TK shook his head and turned to head back to the truck. He ignored Carlos’ glance and got in the truck.

—

“TK, that wasn’t very sporting of you. Teamwork, dude,” Nancy reproached him as they drove away.

“Nancy,” Tommy said sternly, “drop it. I don’t want to hear any more about this. TK was well within his rights to state that it made him uncomfortable. That’s between him and me.”

“Sorry,” Nancy muttered.

TK appreciated that Tommy had stepped in so that he did not need to say anything to defend himself. He had known Nancy was not by the book and happy to overlook things when it suited her. She had worked with Michelle Blake after all and knew how Michelle had behaved with Iris’ boyfriend. How Michelle had barely been suspended a couple of times for the harassment with just a little slap on the wrist by the brass instead of them firing her. Things had only gotten worse since Nancy had begun dating Mateo and spent more time around Owen-rules-are-not-meant-for-me-but-for-thee-Strand.

They were pulling into the 126 when his phone buzzed in his pocket. He got out of the truck and pulled his phone out, staring in horror at Paul’s text.

Paul – Heads up, everyone knows. The detective mentioned Carlos’ missing wife and reprimanded him for being on the scene. Owen hadn’t known about it either.

TK squeezed the bridge of his nose, great, just fucking great.

He had grabbed his bottle of water and settled down in the lounge when he heard the engine pulling in and the noise quotient increase. He was dreading the questions, the jokes, the teasing, the anger.

“TK!” Mateo said loudly as he spotted him, “Dude, why didn’t you tell us Carlos is married!”

TK looked up and appreciated that Marjan and Paul were quickly following Mateo.

“Mateo,” Marjan hissed, “that is an inappropriate question.”

“What? We’re all friends here! Don’t you think we had a right to know? We celebrated their engagement!” Mateo argued.

“Keep your voice down, man,” Paul said calmly as he walked past them and sat down on the other end of the couch TK was seated on.

“It’s just wild that TK has been with Carlos all this while and he’s been a married man. That’s so messed up, yo.” Mateo dropped down onto the other couch. “And to Iris Blake!”

“I remember that case. Iris Blake walked away from her life and vanished without a trace. You can’t blame the guy for moving on, Mateo,” Cash Boone said as he joined them.

“I guess so.” Mateo sighed, “It’s just, I thought Carlos was gay, ya know? And to find out he’s bi is kinda breaking my worldview right now.”

“Carlos is bi? That’s news to me,” Bonnie Rogers said with a laugh as she joined them. “Damn, TK, if I had known I would have asked him out ages ago!” She held up her hands, “Before you, I mean. He used to come by and visit Captain Blake often, and,” she trailed off and sighed. “A missed opportunity.”

TK bit down hard on the inside of his cheek and listened to them speculate about Carlos’ sexuality.

“I still say we had a right to know that the couple we’ve been friends with, whose engagement we celebrated, wasn’t real.”

TK stared at Mateo. Not real.

“Is that what you think?” he finally asked. “That our relationship wasn’t real?”

Mateo shrugged, “TK, man, don’t feel bad. But isn’t that the truth? You proposed to a married man. How is that real? Why couldn’t you just wait until he got a divorce?” He sat forward, “For that matter, how have you spent the past few weeks talking about planning your wedding, and looking at venues when all the while you knew you couldn’t get legally married cause your fiancé was already married?” He sat back and blew out a breath, “That’s just so weird to think, that TK’s engaged and his fiancé has a wife.”

TK swallowed hard as humiliation flowed over him at Mateo’s questions until it felt like it was choking him. He knew Mateo didn’t even mean to hurt TK’s feelings with his questions and it was just his friend verbalizing his shock, but it was painful to TK all the same.

“The better question is, why did Carlos, the married man, accept TK’s proposal when he’s already married,” Judd said as he joined them.

“Because the man he loves proposed to him. TK should have waited though and not put him in that spot, right?” Bonnie asked.

TK stared at Judd wondering what he was doing with this.

“Did he though?” Judd asked. He folded his arms across his chest, “Did you know, TK, that Carlos was a married man when you proposed to him? For that matter, did you know, all this while, that you were dating a married man?”

TK realized Judd was giving him an opportunity to set the record straight. But in doing so he would be ruining Carlos’ reputation. Could he do that to him? Looking at Judd’s stern expression he decided he had to save himself. He had done nothing wrong here.

“I didn’t know,” he said softly. He cleared his throat and met their eyes one by one, “I didn’t know he was married until twelve days ago when he told me he was.”

Chaos broke out and everyone began questioning him at once. He held up his hand and stood up.

“I don’t want to talk about this. I have nothing more to say,” TK said and walked away.

—

“I brought you some tea. It’s that nice apple spice one you like,” Marjan said softly.

TK slowly pulled off the cold cloth he had laid over his eyes and sat up. He sniffed and looked at Marjan who had sat down on the opposite bed.

“Wipe your face with that, you’ll feel better,” she coaxed him.

He nodded and wiped his face with the cloth then folded it and set it aside on the table.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” he said softly.

“A friend isn’t someone who tells you everything they know, but one who does keep all your secrets when told,” Marjan said gently. “A good friend of mine told me that,” she smiled at TK.

TK cracked a small smile back. He had told her that when she had apologized to him and Paul for not telling them that she was engaged when her fiancé had shown up.

“I just need you to remember that I am here for you, for whatever you may need, even if it is someone to sit quietly with. I know Paul’s your go-to for that but I can sit quietly with you too,” Marjan offered.

TK nodded, “Thank you.” He sighed heavily and picked up the mug of tea. “Is it a mess out there?”

“It is a mess but they’ve all begun to calm down. And it’s good that you cleared things up. Not that I think you had to but at least now the speculation and comments are aimed at Carlos and not you.” She sighed, “I can’t believe he did that to you. I’m so sorry, TK.”

“I can’t believe it either,” he whispered.

—

TK had refused to join them for a late lunch and had gone to workout instead. He had just taken a shower and changed back into his uniform when a call for medical had gone out. Nodding at Tommy and Nancy, TK got behind the wheel to take his turn driving.

His eyes widened in surprise when they were given the details of the call they were being sent to. Iris had called 9-1-1!

“I feel so bad for her. She’s been through so much, Cap,” Nancy said emotionally. “I hope she’s okay.”

“I’m sure Iris is okay, Nancy. We’ll take the best care of her,” Tommy said gently.

TK stared determinedly forward as he drove, wondering how it was okay that he was being sent to a rescue scene for his fiancé’s wife! He rolled his eyes at himself, ex-fiancé. He slowed down as a cop directed them to park a ways away and waited.

He watched the cops and SWAT scurrying around from house to house kicking down doors. There was a fair bit of shouting and loud instructions. He sat straightened up when he saw the unmistakable to him form of Carlos run from one house to the other. What was he doing there! A few minutes later a woman’s scream had the officers scrambling and running across to another house again with Carlos leading the way.

TK was just so confused by it all. Iris was Carlos’ legal wife. He should not be a part of this situation. And yet here he was either having not informed his superior officer or them turning a blind eye for one of their own.

At the cops beckoning they got out of the truck and began setting up to receive their patient. He bit down hard on his lip when he saw Carlos walk out with a woman cradled in his arms. Iris. It had to be Iris. TK’s eyes widened when the woman did turn out to be Iris with a gash on her head. The sight of her clutching Carlos’ chest while he held her close in his arms was going to remain pressed in his brain for a long, long time.

TK gave himself an internal smack and forced himself to do his job while ignoring the way Carlos was hovering over Iris. He met Tommy’s eyes who nodded and shifted to take his spot as she began assessing Iris with Nancy.

“Please take her BP for me?” Tommy asked gently.

TK knew he could not back out of this one since they would be short a hand and nodded as he moved around and gently slid the cuff around Iris’ arm.

Iris gasped while looking at Carlos as Nancy and Tommy took care of her injuries. “I was afraid he was gonna —”

“Hey,” Carlos caught her hand and held it, “Hey, hey, hey, hey. It’s okay, Iris, it’s over.” He smiled at her, “It’s okay.”

Iris winced and tried to jerk away when Tommy cleaned the bleeding wound on her head, “Ow!”

“Sorry, sorry,” Tommy said calmly. “We have to clean this out. This might sting a little.”

“BP’s high, Cap. 160 over 90,” TK said.

Tommy nodded, “I’m not surprised.”

“Is that bad?” Iris asked.

TK slipped into his role and forced himself to smile reassuringly, “No, it’s okay, Iris, alright? We’ll get it down.” He could feel Carlos watching him and wanted to snap at him to cut it out! “We just gotta get you some oxygen.” He would do his job and do it professionally even if it killed him.

“Alright, Iris, I’m gonna need you to take some deep, slow breaths, okay?” Tommy said gently to Iris. We’re gonna take you in for observation.” She glanced at Carlos, “She has a concussion.”

Carlos nodded.

Iris began following Tommy’s instructions to breathe even as her eyes remained locked on Carlos’, “I was afraid you wouldn’t find me.”

“It’s okay,” Carlos said gently. “Just breathe, okay? Just breathe.”

TK finally looked at Carlos, those were the words TK had used to remind Carlos to breathe when he had woken up from his coma. To hear Carlos using it in that tone while talking to his wife released a fresh wave of hurt over him.

He glanced away as Detective Grier approached them.

“Reyes, can I see you for a minute?”

TK stared as Iris squeezed Carlos’ hand and entwined their fingers as he started to move away. He felt Tommy’s eyes on him and determinedly kept control of the professional mask he had gotten used to wearing on calls thanks to Owen Strand’s shenanigans.

“I’ll be right back. I promise,” Carlos said reassuringly.

They loaded Iris in while Carlos stepped away to talk to Detective Grier.

“You can sit with Carlos and Iris at the back, TK, I’ll drive,” Nancy said softly.

TK looked at her wondering if she was serious and shook his head. “No, that’s okay, I’ll drive.”

He moved past her and got in the driver’s side. When they were given the all-clear, he drove them to the hospital. The entire drive TK was very aware of the murmured voices from the back, of their patient talking to her husband. He winced at the direction his thoughts were roaming in but there was not anything he could do about it. Those were just the facts. His patient was back there with her husband. Her husband who was a police officer who had been allowed to work the scene of her rescue. Her husband who was TK’s ex-fiancé and the man he was currently living with.

This was just an all-around disaster of a month.

When they reached the hospital TK lagged while getting out. He noticed Tommy’s look when he joined them to help unload Iris. There was no ignoring the way Iris and Carlos held hands or the way she clung to him with her other hand on his chest. He swallowed hard and rattled off the vitals he had taken then stepped back and let Nancy state the updated vitals.

“We’ll take it from here.”

TK nodded at the nurse and took another step back. He could not help but notice that Carlos had not looked at him once, his entire focus was on Iris. TK wondered if Carlos had even noticed the looks aimed their way from the ER staff who were familiar with TK and Carlos as a couple. He swallowed back the new wave of embarrassment and hurt as he turned to head back out.

“TK?” Tommy asked softly as she matched his stride.

“I’m fine, Cap,” TK murmured back.

“What’s wrong?” Nancy asked as she joined them.

“Nothing,” TK said quickly.

“TK,” Nancy began.

TK ignored her and climbed into the driver’s seat. He did not want to discuss it. Any of it.

—

TK added more stock to the risotto and began stirring it again. “Tell me again why we’re making risotto of all things?”

“Is me having a craving not enough of an excuse?” Marjan asked.

TK shook his head with a weak laugh, “Fair enough.” He pulled his phone out of his pocket when it buzzed. “Uh, Cash, take over for me? I gotta take this call.”

“Sure, TK,” Cash said.

TK answered the call as he walked away. “Hey.”

“Hey.”

TK blinked when that’s all Carlos said and decided he would keep his mouth shut and wait it out. Carlos had called him, it was up to him to further the conversation.

“Iris is resting.”

“Good. That’s good. How is she doing?” he finally asked.

“Not that great.” Carlos sighed heavily, “Detective Grier was here. She doesn’t believe Iris, TK.”

TK blinked. That’s what Carlos had called for? To complain about Detective Grier and not apologize about having given TK the silent treatment for over twenty-four hours? For having ignored TK in public? For his secret marriage having been broken wide open? He swallowed hard. “Oh.”

“Grier said she understands that I have a strong connection to Iris, but TK that’s how she’s justifying me believing Iris! She had made up her mind that night before we ever found her.”

TK understood Carlos’ frustration but still did not understand why he had called to vent to him. “What did she have to say?” he finally asked.

“She said she let the evidence speak for itself,” Carlos said, frustration dripping from every word.

TK bit back a sigh, “And what did the evidence tell her that you disagree with?”

“TK, the evidence tells her that Iris left her car in an area she was familiar with having lived there for years and wandered eight miles to a random house, and hit herself in the face! Which doesn’t even make any sense. But Detective Grier said there was no sign of anyone at that house. No car that supposedly hauled her there. The bedroom door was the only door in and out of that room and I was the one that entered and found her there. They had drones over the neighborhood during the search. No one entered or exited that house. Not until my team went in. Iris was alone.”

“So what does this mean?” TK asked gently.

“It means that they’ll shut this case and consider it done,” Carlos snapped. “I’m sorry,” he said immediately.

TK bit his lip. Finally, an apology for something even if it was for snapping unnecessarily at him.

“I’m just frustrated that they don’t believe her.”

TK pressed his lips together as tears pricked his eyes. He pulled the phone away from his ear, muted it, and cleared his throat before unmuting it again. “The important thing now is that she’s safe,” he said softly.

There was a pause before Carlos spoke, “Yes.” He sighed, “I got messages from Mateo asking about my marriage?”

TK shook his head at Carlos’ tone. “They all found out on the Granger scene earlier today.” Something struck him just then, “Did Nancy know? About you being Michelle’s brother-in-law?”

There was a long moment of silence before Carlos spoke up. “Ah, yeah, she knew.”

“Great.” TK winced as soon as he said it. He should have just said okay. But this was another person who had come into his home, enjoyed his hospitality, celebrated his engagement, and kept Carlos’ secret.

“Nancy probably forgot, or thought I had gotten it fixed.”

TK wondered why Carlos had not done that. If he had stopped looking for Iris and had just stayed around supporting Michelle Blake in her despicable behavior, why hadn’t he dealt with the paperwork over his marital status? Deciding it was not the right time to ask if asking ever was the right plan, he decided to just say nothing about it.

“I wanted to see you.” Carlos cleared his throat, “I realize the past two days have been difficult.”

“See me?” TK asked curiously. Did Carlos want him to turn on video chat?

“Um, you didn’t like the idea of me coming over to your place of work,” Carlos said slowly.

“Context matters,” TK said simply. “You’re welcome to come over for dinner. I can’t promise everyone won’t bombard you with questions.”

“I’ll come over. And I’ll explain everything to them,” Carlos promised.

“Good,” TK said softly. They jumped to thinking I was deliberately dating a married man and that is not okay, Carlos. He kept the words in through sheer force of will.

“I’ll see you soon, baby,” Carlos said softly.

I’m not your baby, TK wanted to snap at him. Nothing was resolved between them and now Carlos was behaving like things were just fine. TK was not okay with that and promised himself that he would not go along with it.

“See you,” TK said and quickly disconnected the call.

He turned to head back out of the bunk room and stopped when he heard footsteps coming toward him before Tommy came into view.

“You okay?” Tommy asked as she walked toward him.

“Um, Carlos just called me,” TK waved his phone. “He’s at the hospital with Iris.”

“Okay, that’s good. She’s been through a lot.” Tommy perched on the bed in front of him. “Did they catch that guy?”

TK ran his fingers through his hair, “You ready for this? There may not have been a guy.”

Tommy frowned, “What do you mean? I was there when she gave the description to the police.”

TK sighed, “The detective feels it might have just been Iris’ paranoid delusions.”

“She had a nasty head wound,” Tommy said slowly.

“They had a drone up and… no one else came out of that house, Cap,” TK explained.

Tommy’s face softened, “Oh. Oh, I see,” she said sadly.

“I mean, I don’t get it. She was doing so well. I mean, she hadn’t had an episode in years,” TK sighed and tugged on his hair.

“Well,” Tommy said gently, “mental illness isn’t something you cure. It’s something that you treat, but it’s always there. And-and, yes, you can all of a sudden be triggered again.”

TK met her eyes, “There’s a chance I may have loaded the gun. At least that’s what Carlos thinks.”

“What do you mean?”

“I went to meet Iris and talk to her about signing the divorce papers. Carlos has taken that to mean I badgered her and stressed her out. But Tommy, I swear to you, she was fine when I left after we met. Other than a strange comment about getting an annulment.”

“Oh, honey, no. You can’t have triggered her in a moment if she was on her medication. None of this is on you, TK,” Tommy said firmly. She frowned, “An annulment?”

TK rubbed his face, “She said she didn’t want to sign the divorce papers because that would mean they were married and that Carlos and my marriage should be his first marriage. So instead of a divorce, she would get an annulment.”

“Is that legal?”

“No,” TK said firmly, “they don’t qualify for an annulment. A simple Google search told me that so I don’t know where the idea came to her from. And I didn’t ask.”

Tommy patted his arm, “What happened was not your fault. Please remember that.”

TK nodded, “I’m trying.” He cleared his throat, “Carlos is going to come over for dinner. Explain to the others about his marriage.”

“Good. Because that’s his situation to explain.”

TK just hoped they believed him. “Have you heard from my dad?”

“He just said he was handing things off to Judd and that he needed the day off. With the bruising around his eye, I didn’t question it.”

TK nodded. His father hadn’t even spoken to him after finding out that his supposed fiancé was a married man. He had just taken off on his dick mobile. He winced at his uncharitable thoughts. He had to let this go.

—

TK glanced at his watch. It had been seventy-five minutes since Carlos said he was coming over. Dinner was ready and on the table but there was no sign of Carlos yet.

“TK, you wanna check where Carlos is?” Marjan asked softly.

“Yeah,” TK said in a small voice and grabbed his phone before stepping away from the table.

The phone rang and rang before Carlos finally answered. “Hey Carlos, where are you? I’m getting a bit worried.”

“Hey, no, everything’s fine,” Carlos said quickly.

“Is it?” TK asked tentatively.

“Yeah.”

TK sighed, so they were back to Carlos not wanting to communicate with him. “How’s Iris?”

“Not great. Um… Listen, I can’t make it tonight, okay? I might just stay with Iris here tonight.”

“Um,” TK bit his lip hard.

“Probably best that she’s not alone tonight. She’s been through a lot,” Carlos said. “I love you,” he added softly.

TK didn’t want to but he knew he couldn’t not say it. It was just what they did. “I love you, too,” he whispered as he blinked rapidly.

TK widened his eyes and stared straight at the lightbulb in hopes of keeping his tears at bay. He could not cry at work like this! Once he had wrestled his emotions under control he cleared his throat and moved back to where everyone had gathered at the table for dinner.

“Carlos is not coming tonight. He decided to stay the night with Iris,” TK explained.

He took in their faces, the pity, the confusion, the sympathy, and just wanted to flee.

“Come sit, TK,” Judd said softly.

“You guys eat. I’m-I’m not very hungry,” TK said and walked away. He knew he would not have been able to swallow a bite.

—

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