Reading Time: 89 Minutes

Title: A New Way Forward
Series: Life, Love, and a New Way of Living
Series Order: 2
Author: Hourstillnoon
Fandom: 9-1-1
Genre: Angst, Contemporary, Crime Drama, Drama, Future Fic / Post-Canon, Hurt/Comfort, Tragedy
Relationship(s): Evan “Buck” Buckley/OC, Evan “Buck” Buckley/Eddie Diaz
Content Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Discussion of Minor character death (OC), arson, burn victim, car accident, discussion of sexism, child kidnapping, alcoholism, anger issues related to alcoholism, threats to minors safety, permanent injury (leg amputation)
Author Note: The threats to minors safety is related to the alcoholism warning. Specifically, Chris has his mobility threatened by having his crutches threatened to be confiscated. They never actually get taken, and Chris gets removed from the situation quickly.
Word Count: 50,521
Summary: Buck is finally getting back on his feet after his wife, Amelia, died three months earlier. People from his past keep popping back into his life, for better or for worse. How will Buck deal with the past returning to haunt him?
Artist: Nightsong21133

---

---

Chapter Six

Buck gets woken up the next day by his phone ringing. Elaine had called to tell him he had a mandatory two weeks off, followed immediately by his time off request during Amelia’s death anniversary, which he’d requested in advance, for three weeks off. In total, he’d be out for five weeks. That should give him enough time to get into therapy with Melody, and to process everything that has happened in the last day.

Buck makes his way out to the kitchen, putting his leg on before he does. Athena has Melody on her stool, instructing her on how to stir the pancake batter, mixing in chocolate chips as they go.

“Chocolate chip pancakes? Really?”

“Of course! Only the best for my granddaughter!” Athena says.

Buck walks over, kissing both Melody and Athena on the forehead.

“Daddy, Grandma says we’re going to visit Nana after breakfast.”

“We are.” Buck responds.

“I hope she’s not mad at me. I didn’t mean to go off with Miss Diane.”

“She won’t be mad, I promise.”

“Are you mad at me?” Melody looks down at the batter, continuing to stir.

Buck looks up at Athena, who takes the spoon from Melody.

“No. Now, come here. Before breakfast, I want to talk to you.”

Melody looks up at him, climbing down from her stool, and follows him to the table.

“Melody, what happened yesterday, Miss Diane taking you, wasn’t your fault. No one is mad at you for going with her. You thought it was okay. Miss Diane is in big trouble because she tricked you. You did a very good job calling for help when you could, okay? None of it was your fault.”

Melody nods. “I was scared when I called. She told me that I wouldn’t be able to go home, and all I wanted was to go home to you. She wanted to take me away from you and I didn’t like that.”

“I know she did, baby. She wasn’t very nice.”

“She did a bad thing, didn’t she?”

“Yeah. She’s in a lot of trouble with Elaine and Lou.”

“If I hadn’t called for help, would she still be in trouble?”

“Yes, she would be. She’d still be in a lot of trouble, it just may have taken longer to get you back to me.”

“Oh. I don’t want that.”

“Neither do I.”

The three of them sit down to eat breakfast once Athena has it ready, then Buck gets Melody ready to go to the hospital.

“Melody, when we go see Nana, she may not look very nice. She might still be sleeping, but if she isn’t, she will likely be weak. She will also have wires on her. We’ll have to be careful with her, and be sure not to hurt any of the wires she may have.”

Melody nods up at him.

“When we’re done seeing Nana, I want to bring you to a doctor that will look over you to make sure Miss Diane didn’t hurt you yesterday, okay? I’ll be with you as long as you want me to be.”

“She didn’t hurt me, daddy. I’m okay.”

“I know, but the doctors and Lou and Elaine want to be sure, so they need to look over you, okay?”

“Okay.”

It doesn’t take long to get everyone in Athena’s vehicle and get to the hospital. Athena waits in the waiting room while Buck takes Melody to Alex’s room.

The two enter the room, where Adrian is sitting in the chair beside Alex’s bed. There are wires hooked up to her, but there’s no breathing tube, so that’s a good sign.

“Hey. Have you been here all night?” Buck asks, announcing their presence.

Adrian looks up. “Yeah. They had a family room for me to stay in.”

“Can I sit with Nana?” Melody looks over to Adrian.

“Yeah, you can. We’ll put you up beside her, you just have to be careful not to take out any wires attached to her, okay?”

Melody nods, letting herself be placed on the bed beside Alex. Buck walks closer to Adrian, taking the other seat beside him.

“How’s she doing?” Buck asks quietly.

“She’s doing better. Still in a coma from the medication, but she’s breathing on her own. They said either today or tomorrow she should wake up, but she’ll be groggy.”

Buck nods. “How are we going to tell her that Melody got taken while she was having a heart attack?”

“I don’t know. I’ll find a way, and I’ll make sure she knows it wasn’t her fault.”

“Good. She doesn’t need that guilt when it was only one person’s fault.”

“How’s Melody doing?” Adrian asks, making sure his voice is quiet.

“She’s doing alright. We talked this morning. She understands what happened was bad and that Diane is in trouble, and that she’s not in trouble, but I expect some nightmares eventually once everything sets in. She didn’t have any last night.”

“It’s a stressful event, I’m sure they’ll come.”

“Yeah.”

The two fall into silence for a few minutes, watching Melody talk to Alex.

“How are you doing with everything?” Adrian asks eventually.

“I’m… glad she’s home, but it’s hard as well, knowing something so much worse could have happened.”

“I know, but it didn’t. We’re all okay.”

“I know. I was given two weeks off work, on top of the three weeks I had off next month as well.”

“Good. You’ll need that time.”

“We all will.”

Adrian nods, falling quiet again. They spend an hour in Alex’s room, Melody eventually bringing the two men into a conversation. Eventually, Buck coaxes Melody out of bed, with the promise of ice cream that she hadn’t forgotten about from the night before, to get a checkup done. It takes half an hour, then the report is sent off to Lou, before they head to a nearby ice cream shop with Athena.

The rest of the day goes quick, filled with the two relaxing at home after Athena drops them off. Bedtime comes too quickly for Buck, as he struggles to leave Melody alone behind a closed door, but eventually allows himself to crack the door slightly to make it easier to hear any commotion from the room.

It takes Buck hours to find the will to crawl into his own bed. By the time he’s just falling asleep, he hears Melody cry for him. He’s quick to climb from bed and grab his crutches, finding himself kneeling beside his daughter’s bed, running his fingers through her damp hair.

“Hey, it’s okay. I’m right here. I’ve got you.” Buck soothes quietly.

Eventually, Melody calms down enough that she can speak.

“Bad dream?”

Melody nods her head.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Buck asks.

Melody hesitates a moment before nodding her head. Buck waits for her to speak first.

“I… I was out with mommy. We were in the crosswalk when Miss Diane comes into the crosswalk. She pushes mommy, then grabs my hand and runs off. I wake up as you go to chase after us.”

Buck lets her speak, rubbing her back as she crawls into his lap from the bed.

“Do you want to have a sleepover in my bed for the rest of the night?”

Melody nods. Buck stands them both up, leading her into his room. They crawl into bed, Buck cuddled up to his daughter, comforting her back into sleep.

***

Alex wakes up the next day. Buck gets the call from Adrian bright and early. Buck takes the call in the hallway as to not wake Melody. Alex is okay, she’ll recover. They did have to call in Lou to talk to her, though. Turns out, no one had to tell Alex that Melody was kidnapped. She knew. Diane was in the middle of taking Melody when Alex collapsed, likely from the stress of the situation she found herself in. Buck was glad that she was alive and well. He took Melody to the hospital again so Alex could see for herself that her granddaughter was okay, something Buck understood well.

***

Buck hovers. He’s noticed, Melody has noticed, and everyone else has as well. He can barely leave Melody alone for any length of time, without him in the room with her. He struggles to leave her in her room alone at night, instead of in his own bed, where he can watch over her. He uses the excuse of her nightmares, but knows it’s just that, an excuse.

Melody asks him if she can sleep in her own room that night. Buck makes a bed of blankets on her floor. He calls both of their therapists the next day and increases their appointments to twice a week for each of them.

***

A month goes by fast when you’re trying to heal. It hits Buck like a truck. All too soon, the day is on them. The one year anniversary. Buck knew, if he wanted, family would be on top of him at a moment’s notice. He didn’t want that, though. He wanted to keep this day, this moment, to him and Melody. They get up early and pack breakfast with them, lunch as well. Buck first takes them to the cemetery to visit Amelia’s grave. He hasn’t been back much in the last year. He knows others have been taking Melody, and he took her on all the important events. Birthdays and holidays, but she needed to go more. Buck couldn’t face it as easily.

“Daddy, is today a bad day?” Melody asks on the way to the cemetery.

Buck takes a moment to think the question over.

“It can be, if we let it. It’s a hard day, yes. I feel heavy today. Some advice your grandma gave me, though. It’s only a bad day if we let it be one. We can have moments where it’s the worst day, where we are just so sad, but it only ruins the day if we let it. Alongside the grief and sadness is the happiness. The good memories of your mom, too. We miss her every day, but that doesn’t stop us from remembering the good as well.”

“Is that why we’re going to the beach after? Because it’s fun?”

“Partly. It’ll be fun for us, yeah, but it was also one of your mom’s favourite places to go as a family, so I figured why not take a trip there today?”

“I like that idea.”

“Good.” Buck smiles at her from the rear-view mirror, continuing on his drive.

They arrive after a short drive, Melody hopping out of the vehicle, while Buck slowly makes his way out, grabbing the blanket and breakfast. He immediately starts setting up the blanket, spreading out their breakfast, as Melody talks to her mom.

“Hey mommy. I miss you a lot. Miss Diane wasn’t very nice. She tried to take me. Miss Elaine told me and daddy that Miss Diane would be going to jail for that. Nana hurt her heart and was in the hospital. She’s all better now, though. I love having Nana and Papa around more. I get to see them like I get to see auntie Audrey and auntie Lucy. I wish they had been around more when you were alive. I know they’ll come and see you later today. We brought breakfast so we could eat with you, then daddy says we’re going to the beach. He packed us sandwiches and everything!”

Buck lets her talk, sitting back on the blanket. Once she’s done, he sets her food in front of her and they start eating. They take their time, not wanting to rush anything about today. Once they finish eating, Melody goes to sit in the vehicle herself, letting Buck have a moment alone, a habit they had picked up during every visit.

“Hey, love. I miss you. We both do. It’s been a bit, since Easter, I believe. Mels had insisted on bringing by a bunny statue for you, since you loved Easter so much. It’s still here. I would have brought flowers, but me and Adrian talked. They’re going to bring some this year. We’ll trade off.” Buck trails off for a moment, letting himself think.

“I feel like a failure. My therapist says it’s not my fault that she got kidnapped, and we’re working on my guilt, but you know how hard that is. Taylor’s been a rock during this whole thing. We’re just friends, we dropped the benefits. She’s started seeing someone. Eddie and I haven’t talked in a month. With me being off work, we haven’t had to. That, and I’m sure he’s still mad at me for showing up at his house. I really blew up my life, didn’t I?” Buck lets out a dry laugh.

“I should go. I don’t want to leave Mels alone too long. If I do, she’ll bribe me to buy more ice cream. She loves it as much as you did. Until next time, love.”

Buck brings the blanket back to the vehicle, loading it and himself in, looking over his shoulder to make sure Melody buckled herself in properly.

The beach was quiet, which was a surprising miracle for a nice day, but Buck wasn’t about to complain. The two spend the rest of the morning splashing in the water, then take a break for lunch. Once lunch is done, Melody insists they make sand castles, so Buck goes along. He helps make a moat, then makes sure the sand is wet enough to stick properly. By the time they get home just after suppertime, after a quick fast food dinner, Melody is tired enough to easily go along with her shower, then go off to bed without argument.

It was a successful day. They mourned, sure, but it wasn’t all about that. It was a day of grief and remembering, but it also was a day to celebrate the little family they had, knowing Amelia wouldn’t want the whole day to be focused on grief, especially not for Melody.

***

Athena comes over close to the end of Buck’s final week off with dinner for the three of them.

“I know you just came over for dinner with everyone, but I wanted to spend time with my baby and grandbaby before you get back to work.” Athena says, kissing Buck’s cheek as she enters.

“I don’t mind. I know Melody won’t either, she loves her grandma.”

“That she does.” Athena replies, dropping the food in the kitchen.

The two get dinner sorted out and served, then call Melody in for dinner. They all wash up, then sit to eat. The night goes quickly, the three of them ending up in the living room playing Mario Kart, Athena winning most of them, while Buck loses all of the rounds they play. Too soon, Melody is sent off to bed, then Athena is tucking her in, as per Melody’s request.

“She’s asleep. Didn’t take long. I guess we tired her out a bit.” Athena comments, coming into the living room Buck just finished tidying up.

“Yeah. She’s good about falling asleep quickly.”

“How are you two doing?”

“Still doing okay. I had a talk with Melody about me going back to work, as well as Alex and Adrian coming by to watch her while I was at work. She took it well.”

“Good. Have you gone back to once a week therapy yet?”

“I started once a week this week. Melody is still on twice a week for the next couple weeks, just to make sure she’s adjusting to me being gone for longer again.”

“What about you? Do you think you’ll adjust?”

Buck sighs, “you know me too well. I know it’ll be hard at first. I have an evening appointment set for the first day back.”

“Good.”

They fall into a comfortable silence, before Athena speaks again.

“I know when we talked a couple weeks ago you were considering holding Melody out of school another year. Have you made a decision?”

“No. I keep going back and forth. I know she’s registered for first grade, that they made an exception due to her circumstances and me keeping up with basic learning she may do in Kindergarten, to send her right to first grade when she was registered. I also know if I plan to keep her home again, I need to let them know soon.”

“You do.” Athena nods.

“Keeping her home would be selfish. It would be for my own peace of mind, that she would be okay. Last year, with her mom dying so soon before school, it made sense to hold her home. I can also find justification this year, with her being kidnapped. The difference is, this year she’s had therapy, and seems to be doing okay.”

“She does.”

“I don’t know. I struggle with leaving her here for a day alone, I don’t know how I’d do leaving her at a school alone.”

“Well, the school you chose is within walking distance of the house. Alex already agreed to walk in with her and pick her up every day. Not only that, but there is a restricted visitor and pickup list of who is able to see or pick up a child. It’s a safe school.”

“It is. I know this. I also know that it would be good for her to go, make friends her own age.”

“Yes it would.”

“I think, overall, it’s better for her to go. I think holding her back will only hurt her more in the long run.”

“I agree.”

Buck studies his mom. “How long have you thought that?”

“Since you first brought it up.”

“Why not point it out then?”

“Because. I knew you would come to the same conclusion eventually yourself.” Athena smiles at him.

Buck is interrupted from replying by a knock on the door.

“Were you expecting someone?” Athena asks.

Buck shakes his head as he stands to approach the door, Athena right behind him.

Buck slowly opens the door, being a little more cautious than he normally would, due to the late hour, not expecting anyone, and the recent events that went down. At the door is a crying Chris and a frazzled-looking Shannon.

“Can we come in?” Shannon asks, giving Buck a small smile.

Chapter Seven

“So… explain to me again what happened?” Buck asks after Shannon comes back into the room, having brought Chris to one of Buck’s spare bedrooms.

Shannon sighs. “I got the feeling after our talk that something was wrong. I needed to be here when it all went down, so I had more serious talks with my firm. They agreed to let me open a branch here in LA, since I had done a lot of good work for them in the last few years. We spent the time between then and now figuring out details. Where the office is going to be, who to staff, how many staff we need at the moment, budget, things like that. I drove down, and got here this morning. I went to the office first, checked things out. It took most of the day to figure everything out. Once that was done, around supper time, I decided to go by Eddie’s. Surprise Chris. I probably should have at least let Eddie know I was here and stopping by.

“As soon as Eddie opened the door and saw me, I knew I made a mistake. He slammed the door in my face. I… didn’t know what to do with that, so I started to turn around. I figured I would find a hotel nearby, come back later, you know? Maybe at a better time. I wish now I hadn’t.”

“Hey, no. None of that. You had no way of knowing what would happen. You’re no mind reader.” Athena jumps in here, moving to sit beside Shannon on the couch.

“I know. But maybe if I had insisted on coming in, Eddie wouldn’t have gotten drunk. He wouldn’t have taken out his anger on Chris, I would have been yelled at instead.”

“There’s no saying what would have happened, had you stayed. Like Chris said, this was just the final straw in a stack of misbehaviour. Besides, we have the recordings now. We can do something with them.” Buck reassures.

“Chris said he doesn’t want CPS called about this.” Shannon interjects.

“I know what he said. I will hold off on reporting this for now. If I hear of that boy going back to live with Eddie, or of anything worse happening, I will contact CPS myself.” Athena tells Shannon.

“Thank you. I know you both could get in a lot of trouble if anyone finds out you didn’t call CPS right away.” Shannon looks at them both.

“We could. However, Chris is safe right now. While Eddie does know where I live, he wouldn’t expect Chris to be here. He doesn’t know we’ve been in contact, I don’t think he’s asked Chris about it, to be truthful. He would expect you to have gotten a hotel or gone to Isabel before me.”

Shannon nods. “That’s why I agreed to come here when Chris asked for you. I was close to bringing him to Isabel’s. Aside from Chris insisting I bring you here, that is.”

“He’ll be safe here. I won’t let Eddie in while Chris is in the house unless Chris says it’s okay.”

Shannon nods. “Can I… can I come back in the morning?”

“Why don’t you sleep on the couch?” Buck suggests. “Mom’s taking the other spare room tonight, or I’d offer that to you instead.”

“Sure. That’s no problem. The couch for a night should be okay.”

“Okay. How about we all go to bed? We can talk to Chris more in the morning about what he wants to do.” Athena suggests.

They all agree. Buck locks up the house before going to bed.

***

Bright and early that morning, Buck and Athena are making breakfast for everyone. Buck had texted May to see if she was available to come by the house and watch Melody while everyone talked. May was on her way now, and would arrive shortly for breakfast.

Shortly after May arrived, Melody makes her way into the kitchen.

“Auntie May! Are you here to spend time with me?” Melody asks.

“I am, yes.”

“We have some guests over. Auntie May came over to spend time with you while me and grandma talk to those guests.”

“Can I talk to them too?” Melody asks.

“While we eat breakfast, yes. Once breakfast is done, though, we need to have an adult conversation that will get serious. I don’t want you to have to hear that right now, okay?”

“Okay daddy.”

At that moment, Buck hears Chris making his way into the kitchen and Shannon comes from the living room to eat breakfast. Breakfast is pleasant. Melody asks Chris and Shannon a lot of questions, curious about the newcomers. Athena helps Buck tidy up the mess from breakfast while May takes Melody to the park for the rest of the morning. Chris and Shannon get set up in the living room.

Chris is on one of the armchairs, Shannon on the couch. Buck places himself on the other chair, while Athena takes the other corner of the couch.

“So, Chris. How are you feeling this morning?” Buck starts out gently.

“Sad. Angry. I’m mad that dad even threatened to take my crutches from me. I wasn’t expecting him to threaten that. He’s never done that before.”

“It’s okay to be mad at him. What he said wasn’t okay.” Buck reassures. “It would also be okay if you wanted to report him, though.”

“No! I don’t want to do that!”

“Okay. We don’t have to. I just wanted you to know that’s an option.”

Chris nods, calming down at Buck’s interjection.

“We need to do something else, though, Chris.” Athena steps in.

Chris looks to her. “What else do we need to do?”

“You need to talk to your Abuela. She needs to know, in case Eddie goes there looking for you. She needs to know what happened and where you are. She needs to know that you’re safe.” Athena tells him.

Chris takes a moment to think. “Okay. Can we do that this morning?”

“Yeah. I can take you over soon.” Shannon tells him.

“No. I don’t want you there.”

“Why not, Chris? I’m your mom. I’ll take you over.”

“No! You’re part of why he started drinking! If you hadn’t come back into our lives, this never would have happened!”

“Chris. Don’t say that.”

“Why not? It’s true! If you hadn’t come back, if dad hadn’t stayed with you instead of Buck, we wouldn’t have left in the first place, and dad wouldn’t be getting drunk every night! He would still be a firefighter!”

“Chris! That’s enough. I am not responsible for your father’s actions! I am only responsible for my own!”

Chris looks away from Shannon. “Your actions caused us to leave LA. I love LA.”

“I’m sorry for that Chris. I am. There’s nothing I can do about that now, though. All we can do is move past this.”

“I don’t want to move past it!”

“Okay. That’s okay, Chris. You don’t have to.” Buck jumps in, hoping to de-escalate the situation.

Chris looks at Buck. “Will you take me to Abuela’s, Buck?”

Buck nods, looking over at Shannon to see her fuming. “Yeah, I can take you. We can get ready, then we can come back here when we’re done. Shannon can wait here with mom.”

“Fine.” Shannon spits.

Chris nods, getting up from his spot. Buck follows him down the hallway, each of them going their separate ways once they reach their rooms.

They’re on their way shortly after, the ride silent, but not awkward. They pull up, Buck and Chris approaching Isabel’s door. Chris takes the lead and knocks.

Isabel opens the door. “Chris. What are you doing here?”

“Can we come in?” Chris asks instead of answering.

Isabel lets them in. “Does Eddito know you’re here?”

Chris shakes his head.

“Did something happen, Chris?” Isabel asks next, glancing over at Buck.

“Can we go to the couch? I would like to sit down.” Chris says instead.

“Of course. Come, over here.” Isabel leads the two of them into the living room, where Pepa is already sat.

Buck and Chris sit down across from Pepa, Isabel taking the seat beside her.

“So, Chris, what happened?” Isabel asks.

Chris takes a moment, looking over at Buck. Buck nods his head in encouragement.

“Last night just before supper, mom knocked on the door. Dad slammed the door in her face. He had beer with supper, then kept drinking. This is the first time I saw him drinking in front of me. He usually kept it until after supper when I was in my room for the night.” Chris stops, looking to Buck again.

Buck gives another nod to Chris.

“I… got mad at him for drinking so openly. I told him that his drinking is a problem, that he does it every night and just because he pretends I don’t see it doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen. He told me to go to my room. I refused, and told him he needs to give me the bottle. He told me if I touched the bottle I would be grounded. I told him he couldn’t do that. He…” Chris breaks at that moment, crying into Buck’s shoulder.

“It’s okay, Chris. Take a moment.” Buck tells him, rubbing his back.

“I… I don’t know if I can say it. I voice recorded the whole thing. Buck, can you play it, please?” Chris asks, pulling up his head.

Buck nods, grabbing his phone, arm still around Chris. Isabel and Pepa sit quietly as Buck comforts Chris, waiting. Buck presses play once he has the recording up. You can hear rustling at first, then the sound of dishes being put away. Shortly after that, the fighting starts. It escalates quickly, with the sound of Chris grabbing the bottle, and Eddie yelling at him as Chris informs that the bottle has now been dumped down the sink. Buck closes his eyes, tightening his hold on Chris as Eddie threatens to take away his crutches for dumping the bottle down the sink. Chris yells at him to stay back, and that he’s leaving, telling Eddie not to expect him back. The audio file keeps playing as Chris gets to his room, slamming his door. Rustling is heard on the other end as Chris throws clothes in his bag, then opens his door again, making his way to the door. Faintly, in the background, Buck hears Eddie crying. The front door opens then. Chris expresses his surprise at Shannon being at the door, and the audio cuts off once the front door is closed.

“Mierda.” Pepa exclaims.

“Where did you go after you left?” Isabel asks, voice calm with anger.

“I-I went to Buck. I got mom to take me there. She tried to argue but I told her dad wouldn’t find us there if he went looking.”

“You were right to. He wouldn’t find you there.” Pepa comments.

“Thank you for telling us, Chris.” Isabel tells him. “Do you have a plan on where you’re going to stay?”

Chris shakes his head, looking down at his lap. “I don’t wanna live with dad anymore. I don’t know if I wanna live with mom either.”

Pepa and Isabel exchange looks.

“You could stay here, Chris.”

Chris shakes his head. “I would just get in the way. Pepa is here to take care of you. Adding taking care of me in as well wouldn’t do anyone any good.”

“You are not a burden, Chris. We would be able to get funding for an aide in to help with certain things.” Pepa responds.

Chris shakes his head. “I don’t want an aide if I don’t have to have one. I can mostly manage with a little help here and there right now. I can be on my own.”

“Okay. I could call Adriana or Sophia. They may not be speaking to your father, but I know they would take you in.” Isabel offers.

“No. I don’t wanna have to move again. I love LA.”

“I’m not sure what else we can offer. We could get CPS involved, get you a foster home… but I cannot guarantee you’d have the option of an aide there.”

“No! No CPS. Dad doesn’t need that!”

“What about you? Don’t think about what he needs. Think about yourself.” Pepa tells him.

“I could take Chris. I have the space for it. If you’re not comfortable with that, Chris, I think Hen and Karen are foster parents. If you wanted them, you’d have to go through CPS though.”

“You’d really let me stay with you, Buck?”

“Yeah. I’d talk to Melody, let her know someone was staying with us, but she adored you this morning.”

Chris nods. He’s silent for a moment. “I want to stay with you.”

“Okay. We’ll have to talk to Shannon. She can get any paperwork done up for the three of us to sign. We’d also need to talk to your school, okay?”

“Do we have to tell dad where I am?”

“Oh, nieto…”

“Yes. You don’t have to speak to him, but someone needs to tell him. He’ll also need to sign any papers we have drawn up for a guardianship agreement.”

“Okay.”

Chris gets up, then, making his way down the hallway.

“Are you sure, Buck? You don’t have to take him in. We can insist he stay here, and we can get an aide.” Isabel says.

“I’m sure. I want him to have a safe space to live, where he feels comfortable. Plus, it’s already set up because of my leg to be both wheelchair and crutch accessible.”

“Okay. As long as you don’t cut him off from us, I am okay with it.”

“I would never. He’s your family. Any time he wants to see you, or you him, I’ll try my best to make it happen.”

Both women nod at him, looking content at that.

Banging on the door makes all three of them jump. They exchange looks, then glance down the hallway, where Chris has disappeared. Pepa stands, making her way to the door. She’s out of sight, so the two in the living room can’t see who’s at the door, but they can hear the conversation.

“Eddito? Aren’t you supposed to be at work today?”

Isabel and Buck exchange looks. Buck can’t get to the hallway without passing by the entry way, so he sneaks into the kitchen, out of sight if Pepa brings Eddie into the living room. From this distance, he can’t hear Eddie’s response. Buck hears the shuffle of footsteps, then voices.

“Suspended? Did they tell you why?”

“They got an anonymous call from someone reporting me. They said I was fudging evidence in arson cases. I wouldn’t do that!” Buck can hear the frustration in Eddie’s voice.

“I know, nieto. They’ll figure it all out. You won’t be fired.”

“I don’t know what to do, Abuela. I feel like my life is falling apart.”

“Does this have anything to do with Christopher?” Pepa asks.

“What about Chris?” Eddie asks, “did he say something to you?”

“What do you think he should say to us? Does he have something to tell us? Do you?” Pepa interrogates.

“No. I don’t know. He left with his mom last night. She showed up out of the blue. Just another thing she’s taken from me.” Eddie comments bitterly.

“Don’t start with that again.” Isabel interjects sternly. “You both made bad choices.”

Buck hears Eddie huff. He takes a chance to peek around the corner. Eddie is pacing in front of the two women, who are seated beside each other. Buck turns his head slightly and makes eye contact with Chris, who’s standing in the middle of the hallway, eyes wide. Buck keeps as hidden as he can while also watching Chris. Buck knows neither woman would let anything happen to him, but if need be, Buck would rather get between Eddie and Chris instead of let either one of them do it.

Eddie looks like he’s going to respond when he turns his head. “Chris? What are you doing here? I thought you were with your mom?”

Isabel stands up. “He came to talk to us about last night. What were you thinking, nieto?”

Eddie slowly turns to Isabel. “Last night? What about last night?”

“The fight? The threats, Eddito. You can’t just yell at him like that.”

“Yell? I didn’t yell at Chris. Right?” At the last part, Eddie turns to Chris, who is still frozen.

Buck comes from around the corner. “You did, Eddie. Chris recorded it.”

“No. No, I didn’t yell at him! I wouldn’t yell at him.” Eddie shakes his head, tears in his eyes.

Buck slowly approaches Eddie, hands out in front of him, as if approaching a wild animal.

“No… I… I couldn’t…” Eddie’s voice gets quieter as he speaks until it fades completely.

“Let’s go outside, yeah? We can talk out there.” Buck directs.

Eddie looks over at Chris again, then nods his head. He lets Buck lead him through the kitchen and onto the back deck, where Buck sits them.

“I can’t have yelled at him, can I?” Eddie looks to Buck.

Buck nods. “I… have the recording on my phone. If you’d like to hear it.”

Eddie’s head snaps up. “He… yeah. Play it.”

“It’s rough. Are you sure?”

“Yes. I’m sure. Play the damn recording.”

Buck gets out his phone, then presses play. His eyes don’t leave Eddie. Buck watches as shock, disgust, anger, repulsion, and sadness cross his face at different times. Eddie breaks eye contact, hanging his head. Once the audio stops, they sit in silence.

“I… I don’t remember most of that. I remember fighting. I remember the bottle being dumped. I remember him leaving with Shan. But I don’t…. I don’t remember the yelling.”

“He was really upset last night.”

“God, I’m a terrible father. How could I do that to him?”

“How long have you had a drinking problem?”

At that, Eddie’s head snaps up. He stares at Buck, assessing.

“I don’t know. Too long. I think it started around the time I got shot. The nerve damage. I used it to help manage the pain after the painkillers. Then, once that was better, it helped numb me. I promised myself I wouldn’t… wouldn’t drink at work. I would never show up to work drunk or harm Chris. I told myself that if I didn’t do any of those things, then I didn’t have a problem.”

Buck looks out into the yard. “You had a problem long before last night, Eds. The fights with Shannon? How many of those were you drunk during?”

Eddie’s silence says enough.

“You may not have been harming your kid, then, but you were harming both yourself and Shannon.”

“I think I need help, but I don’t know how to ask for it.”

“I think you just did.”

“You’d help me? After everything? Everything I’ve said. To you, to Christopher?”

Buck looks back at Eddie. “Of course. You need help, Eddie. We’ll find a good rehab centre.”

“Why? Why help me? I’ve been nothing but horrible to you since I got back.”

“Chris still needs his dad.”

“Is that the only reason?”

“Do you really want to get into all of that right now?”

Eddie nods. “Yeah. If not now, when?”

“Okay. Fair enough.” Buck lets the silence trail on, looking out over the yard again.

“Let me ask you something.” Eddie speaks up.

“Go ahead”

“Do you think, if I’d chosen you, we would be okay?”

Buck sighs. “I don’t know. If you had chosen me, I wouldn’t have Melody. I don’t know if I want to live in a world where I didn’t have that little girl.”

Eddie nods, staring out over the yard again.

“Did you love me? Back then?”

“You know I did.”

“Do you….”

“Love you now?” Buck looks back at Eddie again.

Eddie nods, still looking at the yard.

“Yeah. I never stopped, you know? I just…”

“Got over me.”

“Yeah, in a way. You really hurt me, Eds. I… I got past that hurt. I forgave you long ago. I just… You coming back here… It made me realize I can’t trust you with my heart. I’m not saying that’s forever, but for now…”

“I understand. I’ll have to work hard to gain your trust again.”

“Not just mine.” At Buck’s words, Eddie looks at Buck. “Chris. You’ll have to gain his trust back slowly. He’s… he’s very upset with you right now. He doesn’t trust you.”

Eddie lets out a big sigh and hangs his head again.

“I will. If nothing else, I will gain his trust again.”

“Good. Now, how about we go back inside? I can take Chris back home, and you can stay with Isabel and Pepa. I’ll do research on rehab centres and send them to you.”

“Wait… Before we go inside…”

“Yeah?”

“Is Chris… Do you know where he and Shannon are staying?”

“Shannon, no, Chris, yes. Chris will be staying with me for the time being. He doesn’t want to stay with you or Shannon, and doesn’t want Isabel and Pepa to have to get an aide for him.”

“Okay.”

“I’ll be talking to Shannon once we get home. I doubt she’ll be as agreeable as you just were. She barely let me take him here instead of her.”

Eddie nods. “She… can be prideful.”

“That she can. Either way, Chris will stay with me. I’m going to have her draw up guardianship papers. All three of us will need to sign them.”

“I can do that. When they’re done, just tell me when and where.”

With that, they both enter the house. It goes quiet as they walk into the living room.

“All good?” Pepa asks cautiously.

“All good. Ready to go, Chris?” Buck responds.

“Yes please.” Chris replies quietly.

Buck starts to lead them out, when Eddie speaks.

“Chris?”

They both pause.

“For what it’s worth, I’m sorry.”

“Get help, dad.” Is all Chris says, turning towards the door.

“I will, I promise.” Eddie replies quietly to Chris’s back.

Isabel follows them out, closing the door behind them. She puts her hand on Buck’s arm.

“You’re a good man, Buck. Take care of him.”

“I will.”

“Don’t be a stranger. Get mine and Pepa’s number from Chris. Call or text us whenever you need.”

“Okay. Thank you.”

“No, thank you. Now, get the two of you home safe.”

Buck nods, heading out. It doesn’t take long before Buck is pulling into his driveway. They get out, Athena opening the door for them as they approach.

Shannon is waiting for them, pacing the living room.

“How did it go?” She demands.

“It went as well as can be expected. Isabel and Pepa took it as well as I thought they could. Eddie showed up towards the end.”

Shannon looks to Chris when Buck says this. “Are you okay, Chris?”

Chris nods, not looking anyone in the eyes as he sits down on one of the chairs.

“I pulled him aside when he started to get emotional and had a conversation with him. He says he’s going to get help. I’m going to do research into rehab centres and send the information on to him.”

“Okay. Okay, good. Chris, how about we grab your bag and get settled into the hotel room?” Shannon says.

“I’m staying here.” Chris responds.

“What? No, come on, Chris. We’re going.”

“Shannon.” Buck intervenes.

“What?” She snaps.

“Chris and I had a talk with Isabel and Pepa. Chris doesn’t want to stay with either of you right now. He needs time to build up trust again. You’ve both hurt him a lot.”

“What does that mean? Chris? Is this true?”

Chris nods, looking at Buck.

“It means Chris is going to stay here for the time being.”

“No. I’m not going to allow that. He needs to be with one of his parents.”

“What he needs is to be with someone who he trusts to care for him.”

“If you force him to stay here, I will take you to court over this, Buck.”

“I don’t want to be with either of you!” Chris yells.

“Do you hear that? No court will force a 15 year old to stay with a parent he’s not comfortable staying with. You will lose. Please, don’t put Chris through that, Shannon.”

Shannon takes a minute to think before responding, then turns to Chris.

“Is this really what you want? To stay here? I moved here to be closer to you.”

Chris nods.

“Why? What did I do?”

“You and dad fought all the time. I didn’t like the yelling. You made us move to New York when I didn’t want to go. You told me Buck was dead when he wasn’t, which means you stopped me from seeing him after the tsunami. You pushed Buck out of our lives.”

“But, Chris, I apologized for that before you and your dad moved back here.”

“You did, but that doesn’t mean I want to live with you, or trust you right now.”

Shannon takes a deep breath. “Okay. What can I do to help you trust me again?”

“Let me stay here.”

“Okay. I think I can do that. Can I still see you?” Shannon asks.

“Not all the time, but sometimes.” Chris responds.

“We will need to sit down with a lawyer and get guardianship papers drawn up and signed. Eddie already agreed to sign anything we need.”

“Okay. I can look into that. Temporary guardianship?” Shannon asks, looking between Buck and Chris.

“Guardianship until conditions are met. I think a good guideline will be when Chris feels ready to move back in with you permanently, but a start will be family therapy for you both. It will help you two talk in a healthy way and build up trust again. Visits only on Chris’s terms, whatever that looks like. If he wants overnight stays, he can determine how long and when. Once we get that figured out, we can contact the school and his doctor.”

“Will you want any child support from me or Eddie?”

“That’s something we can discuss when the time comes.”

“Okay. I will get that started today. I should… Can I stay for lunch?” Shannon directs the question to Chris.

Chris nods after a moment of silence.

***

A little after lunch, May brings Melody back. Buck pulls Melody into her room to have a conversation with her.

“Does this have to do with the adult stuff you were doing earlier?” Melody asks.

“Yes, it does.” Buck tells her.

“Is everyone okay?”

“Well, someone I know is struggling and needs help. He has asked for help, so I agreed to help him.”

“Who is it?”

“Do you remember my friend Eddie?”

“The one who was here with Miss Taylor when I came home when Miss Diane had me?”

“Yes.”

“I remember him. He was nice.”

“He needs help right now. So, while he’s getting help, his son Chris is going to be staying here.”

“Is Chris’s mom staying here too?”

“No, she’ll be staying in a hotel.”

“Why is Chris staying with us when he could stay with his mom?”

“Well… She needs help as well. Chris feels better staying here while both his parents are getting help.”

“Okay. Can I play with him when he’s here?”

“Only if he wants to. You have to ask him, okay? He may not always want to play.”

Melody nods, a serious look on her face. “I’m glad we’re helping him, daddy.”

“So am I, princess.” Buck hugs his daughter close to him. “How did I get so lucky to get such a wonderful daughter?”

“I think it was all mom. She was the best.”

“Yes, she was.” Buck kisses Melody’s head. “Okay. Do you want to play in here, or come out to the living room with everyone? Grandma and auntie May are staying for supper. We’re ordering pizza tonight.”

“In here.”

“Okay. I’ll leave the door open a bit, okay?”

Melody nods, turning to her toys. Buck leaves the door open a crack as he leaves, walking back to the living room.

“How did it go? Is she okay with me staying here?” Chris asks.

“Yes she is. She asked if you would play with her. I told her only if you want. And Chris, if you don’t want to, you don’t have to, just because she asks. She’ll be fine on her own or with an adult if you don’t want to play with her, okay?”

Chris nods. “I’ll play with her sometimes. Maybe not all the time.”

Buck nods, then turns to Athena and May. “Are you two okay to stay here and watch Melody for a bit? I want to head over to Alex and Adrian’s, explain the situation to them.”

“Yeah. Go, we’ll be here when you get back. If you’re gone for too long, we’ll get the pizza ordered.” Athena tells him.

“Okay, perfect. I’ll be back.” Buck heads out, making the short walk over.

He knocks on the door, Audrey answering.

“Hey. I wasn’t expecting to see you here today. Alex and Adrian home?” Buck asks.

“Yeah, come on in. I took today off, wanted a day to spend with mom and dad.” Audrey leads him to the living room, where Alex and Adrian are.

“Hey, Buck. Everything okay?” Alex asks.

“Kind of, not really?” Buck admits.

“What’s going on?”

Buck explains the situation, all three of them listening. Once he finishes, Audrey is the first to speak.

“I’d heard about some sketchy stuff going on, but I didn’t know Eddie was involved, or that he was going to be suspended.”

“I hope he can get the help he needs. Do you need us to help him out when we’re watching Melody?”

“Not unless he asks for help. He’s pretty independent and can do most things himself. It shouldn’t be much more work on you. If it gets to the point where it is, let me know, and I’ll talk to Chris about getting an aide for when I’m not home and he’s not in school.”

“Okay. It shouldn’t be much trouble. We can do that.”

Before any more conversation can happen, Audrey’s phone rings.

“That’s odd. It’s Lucy. She’s at work.”

Audrey answers. Buck tries not to listen into the conversation, allowing them to have a private call. Once the call ends, Audrey looks pale. She turns to Buck.

“Lucy just got done at a fire. They think it might be our arsonist. She was giving me a heads up. They were at Eddie’s house. Eddie’s house was burned down.”

Chapter Eight

Buck rushes home after he finds out about the fire. He has to break the news to Chris, who is upset. He hadn’t been able to get much of anything besides clothes and a few things when he left the night before. Right now, Buck’s priority is making sure Chris is taken care of and set up. The arsonist case can wait until Monday when he’s back at work again.

Buck spends the next day shopping with Chris and Melody, making sure Chris has enough clothes as well as any other necessities he may need. Buck makes sure Chris knows he can eat any of the food he has in the house, as well as any of the games and systems in the living room are his to play, so long as he isn’t destructive and isn’t loud late at night. Once school starts up again, he has to have his homework done before any video games are played.

Buck makes sure to pull Chris aside to explain everything, as well as ask him if he needs anything else while he’s staying with Buck. He will need replacement school supplies, but Buck plans to bring both kids out closer to school starting, since Melody also needs supplies.

Once the shopping is done, Buck spends some time looking into different rehabs. He makes a list of each one. He breaks down the cost, whether it’s in-patient, out-patient, or both. If they can have visitors, different programs each one has. Once he’s made his list, he texts it to Eddie, who replies with a thumbs up emoji. The next morning, Buck wakes up to a text from Eddie, letting him know which rehab he’s going to, and that he’ll be checking in on Monday morning.

***

After almost two months off, Monday comes too soon. Buck is looking forward to getting back to work, sure, but he’s also going to miss spending most of his time with Melody. Plus, with Chris around, there’s almost no time to adjust before Buck has to go back to work. Buck makes breakfast before Alex comes over. Both kids are still asleep so he leaves the breakfast in a warm setting in the oven before leaving.

It’s chaos when he gets into work later that morning. There’s a few people from Arson Investigation in, as well as detectives showing them to interview rooms. Buck goes right to his office, where he sees Elaine waiting for him. Audrey doesn’t appear to be anywhere yet, but could turn up at any time, if she’s not busy already. The two of them enter Buck’s office, Elaine closing the door behind them.

“I hope you had a good vacation.”

“I did. Did you get my clearance? My therapist said she was going to send it on to you when she cleared me.”

“I did.”

“Good.”

“I have been in contact with your team. They’ve been updating me on the arson case while you’ve been away.”

“I have a briefing with them soon. Did you want to join? The lead investigator should be by any minute.”

Elaine nods. “I think that’s a good idea.”

At that moment, someone knocks on the door. Elaine gets up to open it for them, closing it after they enter. Both take a seat in the chairs across from Buck’s desk.

“What happened while I was gone?” Buck turns to his lead investigator.

“Well… some important information has come to light. We had another 2 fires over the time you were gone, then another one Friday afternoon. During that time, an anonymous tip came in about Arson Investigator Diaz. He was accused of faking evidence across multiple arson cases. He was suspended while we have an internal investigation. That happened Friday morning. We’ve been scrambling since then to solidify the evidence we collected, as well as cooperate with the detectives investigating any of our arson cases. The fire on Friday afternoon was at Diaz’s house. No one was hurt, luckily, but we suspect the two events to be connected. We’re working on finding out where the tip came from, then we can bring them in. Since it was an anonymous tip, it’s harder to trace, but we have our computer experts working on it now. They’re close to finding out who it is.”

“Okay. Good work. Let’s hope we can find whoever has been setting the fires before they do so again.”

The meeting wraps up shortly after. Audrey corrals Buck into his office again, closing the door behind her. She paces in front of the desk while Buck sits down again behind it. He lets her collect her thoughts.

“I think the person who left the tip to get Eddie suspended is the same one who set fire to his house. I think the person didn’t want to wait until Eddie got home that night, maybe even hoped his kid would be out of the house. I think he expected Eddie to be home when the fire was set.”

“Okay.” Buck replies, letting her keep going.

“I worry that since Eddie was unharmed, the arsonist will get more erratic. They’ll try to use other means to get to him. I also worry that they’ll target me, you, or any of our families. I think we have an important piece of evidence into finding out who set the fires, and they decided to go after Eddie first.”

Buck nods. “I’ll get my team to go back over previous evidence. They’re working on finding out who left the tip now, so hopefully something comes of that.”

“I hope so too.”

Buck lets Audrey pace in his office for a little longer, both of them going over important evidence they’ve collected, as well as evidence collected while Buck was gone. They spend the rest of the morning and into the early afternoon pouring over all the evidence from the previous arson incidents, pulling in people from Buck’s team where needed.

The two get interrupted in their analysis with a loud commotion outside. They share a look, then leave Buck’s office, hoping to figure out what’s happening. A man is being detained. He’s struggling, and a police officer is trying to keep him still. Lou is approaching the man and officer, a stern look on his face.

“Do you understand your rights, Mr. Mackey?” Lou steps in.

“Yes, yes. I waive my rights to a lawyer. I am one, for God’s sake. I don’t need someone inferior to represent me.”

Buck and Audrey share a look. Once the officer has Mackey in an interrogation room, Buck approaches Lou.

“So… What’s up with that guy?”

Lou looks over at Buck. “Caught him trying to break into a rehab centre. Not sure his intentions, but he had a knife on him. He’d already been told by the front desk only approved visitors get in. He tried the lawyer card, but it didn’t go over well, since he wasn’t on the list of approved visitors for anyone. We got called when they found him trying to sneak in through an open window.”

“Which rehab, if you don’t mind me asking?”

Lou gives him the name of the rehab. Upon hearing the name, Buck gestures Audrey over.

“Hey. What’s going on?”

“I have a theory. Mackey?” Both detectives nod at Buck to continue. “He tried to break into the same rehab Eddie checked himself into this morning.”

“Okay…? Where are you going with this?” Lou asks.

“Eddie’s been suspended on accusations of falsifying arson evidence, and his house was targeted this weekend.”

“…and?” Lou asks.

“I think Mackey might have been paid off by whoever our arsonist is to get to Eddie. Not sure the intention there, but we should see if he was also the one to make the anonymous call. Maybe he has a connection to the arsonist. We should start looking into his background.” Buck directs the last bit to Audrey.

“Do you want to question him?” Lou asks Audrey.

Audrey shakes her head. “I’ll work with Buck on Mackey’s history, you question him. If anything comes up about our case, let us know.”

With that, they parted ways. Buck and Audrey went to Buck’s team and briefed them with the new information, while Lou went on to interrogate Mackey.

Buck, Audrey, and Buck’s team spent hours pulling up everything they could on Mackey. Any records, past clients, past cases, all of it. Everything about him they could find, and it was found. Lou had yet to come find them, so Mackey must not be saying anything important, if anything at all.

“I think we should get everyone together and talk about our findings.” Audrey suggests.

“I agree. I’ll gather everyone.” Buck does as he says, and soon everyone is gathered.

“So, what have we found?” Audrey asks.

“Mackey has a reputation of being an ambulance chaser. He bets on people’s injuries being someone else’s fault and he goes after those people to take advantage of them. He’s lost about half of the cases that have made it anywhere near trial. Of the ones that haven’t made it to trial, half have been settled before court, the other half dropped completely.”

“Do we have a list of those clients?” Buck asks.

“Yeah. We have a list of everyone Mackey has worked with, as well as the clients who have come in for a consultation. We are working on a list of all the witnesses Mackey has worked with, whether the case went to trial or not.”

“Okay. Great work. We’ll give you more time to do that while we talk to Lou and start looking at his list of clients.” Audrey tells them.

The two of them leave, approaching the interrogation room. Lou exits just as they approach.

“Hey. He gave us nothing. He’s being tight-lipped. We’re charging him with breaking and entering, but there’s not much we can do other than that right now. Have you found anything?”

“We’re about to start looking into his client list.”

“I’ll help you, if you want the help.” Lou offers.

They both accept, leading Lou into Buck’s office for a bit more privacy. They spend the rest of the day categorizing his client list. They put them into won, lost, dropped, and settled, before leaving for the day.

Buck spends the evening watching a movie with Chris and Melody. Throughout the evening, he also texts Eddie. They make sure not to talk about the case, avoiding anything to do with work, and only talking personal stuff. Despite Eddie doing a lot wrong, Buck wants him to know someone is in his corner.

***

The next day is going through the client list, seeing if there’s anything there.

“Wait, hold on, I recognize this name.” Audrey says.

“Which one?”

Audrey shows Buck, from the list of clients who lost.

“Yeah so do I. Hold on.” Buck brings up a different list, printing it off. “Here, let’s look on this list, compare for names.”

Each name on the new list is on either the dropped or the lost list of Mackey’s clients. There are a few names that aren’t found on either list, though, one, being Eddie Diaz.

“Holy shit.”

“What am I missing?” Lou asks.

“This list? This is the list of our victims from the arson case. Mackey’s clients have been targeted. I’m surprised we didn’t see this connection earlier.” Buck says.

“We didn’t think to check the other names against cases that have been dropped. Not everyone had a case that was lost by Mackey.”

“So, what? You think Mackey could be involved somehow?”

“I think he might be our arsonist.” Audrey states. “Why else would he go after Eddie? We must have been close to catching him.”

Just then, there’s a knock on Buck’s door.

“Come in.”

The person enters, “you need to see this. We found out who made the anonymous tip to the Arson Investigation office.”

Audrey takes the paper, then nods. “Mackey made the tip.”

“Do you have a list of witnesses Mackey has been in contact with?”

The person nods, handing that over as well. Buck takes a quick scan, eyes widening.

“Every other name is on this list, that wasn’t on the other two. Including Eddie Diaz.”

“What?”

“Yeah. Eddie was supposed to be a witness for one of Mackey’s cases. He lost that one bad due to insufficient evidence.”

“Wow. And I thought he was targeting Eddie because he was the lead arson investigator.”

“No. It looks like that was one of Mackey’s worst cases to date. Not only did he lose a key witness in the middle of trial, but the evidence he had was falsified by the client.”

“Which client is that?”

Buck looks over at the list of victims. “The burn victim? She was his wife.”

“Shit.”

“We need actual evidence for this. Right now, it’s just circumstantial.” Lou comments.

“Audrey, how about you go to Eddie’s rehab, talk to him about Mackey. I can watch Lou interrogate Mackey, see if he can get anything from him about this.”

They all agree on the plan. The interrogation with Mackey goes better than the previous day’s. Mackey talks about his clients, information Lou had asked for. He doesn’t give much away, and doesn’t seem angry, but hasn’t yet gotten to anything serious.

Hours later, Audrey returns. Lou and Buck are pulled away to talk to her.

“Eddie admitted that around the time Mackey’s case was live, he ghosted him. He moved to New York in the middle of the trial. Mackey was suing the city on behalf of a man who was injured in a car accident. The man insisted his light had been green. The other driver said the same thing. Eddie was a key witness as a responder. He was driving by off duty and stopped to help and assess everyone. He wasn’t sure what happened to the case, and had forgotten all about it until I brought it up.”

“Okay, thank you for that. I’ll bring it up, see how he reacts to the case.”

Buck and Audrey watch as Lou continues questioning Mackey. He’s leading up to asking about the trial. As soon as Lou mentions the name of the client, a switch flips. Suddenly, Mackey is angry.

“I never should have lost that case! Never! Everything was rock solid. My key witness left me high and dry!”

“What happened to make you lose?”

“The other side accused me of falsifying evidence. I did no such thing! It’s not my fault he was so good!”

“What do you mean by that?”

“I lost my case because the dash cam footage had been tampered with. The judge condemned me for not doing my due diligence with the footage.” Mackey rolls his eyes. “Since then, I have only been able to get small claims cases. No one will hire me, and it’s all their fault!”

“Why is it their fault?”

“Because! If Diaz hadn’t moved, he would have been a witness to how badly everyone was injured! Then, even with falsified evidence, I wouldn’t be where I am now!”

“Where are you now?”

“Barely able to pay my bills, struggling. I’m about to foreclose on my mortgage.”

“Is that why you tried to break into the rehab facility?”

“Yes! They all deserved punishment, his worst of all. He should have been home!”

“Home when?”

“When I set the fire! If he had been home, I wouldn’t have had to go to the rehab centre.”

“What about the others? Were they supposed to be home as well?”

“Only the other man involved in the case. Instead, it was his wife. He was supposed to be the one house sitting!”

“So that was intentional?”

“Yes.”

“The family of the home, they weren’t the intended target?”

“No. That was just convenient. He was staying there more than his own home for that time. I got word of the flight being delayed so took my opportunity then. Unfortunately, I should have waited and gotten him when he was home.”

“Okay. But no other house was supposed to have victims?”

“No. They inconvenienced me and deserved punishment, not that much suffering and death.”

“So, you knew that any victim in the fire could die.”

“Of course. Fires like that are known to hurt. They either kill or the person suffers for the rest of their life.”

“Why did you make a call to get Eddie Diaz suspended?”

“I wanted to be sure he would be home. I figured it was a safe bet his kid would be out of the house during the day. He’d been leaving every morning, going somewhere, not sure where. The kid didn’t do anything to me, he didn’t need to be caught up in all this.”

“Thank you.” With that, Lou gets up, leaving the room.

“Wow. I wasn’t expecting him to give all that up so willingly.” Audrey says.

“I don’t know if he realizes he did. He doesn’t seem to feel like he did anything wrong.”

“True, but we got all that on tape. It should be really hard to refute in court. Either way, I’ll get my team to find solid evidence tying Mackey to the arson cases, just in case.”

“Good plan. I’ll work on charging him for murder, attempted murder, breaking and entering, destruction of property, and arson.” Audrey comments, walking away.

The rest of the day is spent wrapping up the case. They make sure all the evidence is concrete, as well as finding any ways to tie Mackey into the arson cases. They have good circumstantial evidence of all victims being tied into cases Mackey has worked where he either lost or the cases were dropped. They find a few scraps of DNA at Eddie’s house. Clearly Mackey was being less careful with that one. Plus, the tie-in of the rehab break-in helps.

Buck can breathe easier that night going home. The arson case that has been active for over a year is finally over. He can spend the night with his family, knowing they aren’t a target, a worry he’d had since Eddie’s house burned down. Everything will be fine. They will all be okay.

Chapter Nine

“Are you excited to go to school?” Buck asks Melody when she’s eating breakfast on the first day of school.

Melody nods.

“It’s okay to be nervous. I was on my first day.” Chris reassures her.

Melody looks over at him.

“Was it scary?”

“Kinda, a little bit. It was scary not having my mom with me when we moved, and it was scary going in the class alone without my dad, but it ended up being a lot of fun.”

“What did you do?”

“We introduced ourselves. We also played together, inside and outside. We didn’t do a lot of learning the first day, mostly just getting to know each other and playing.”

“Oh. That sounds like fun.”

“You don’t sound so sure.” Buck mentions.

“What if they don’t like me?”

Buck takes a moment before responding, making sure to give thought before speaking.

“Not everyone may like you, but you’re very hard to not like. Look at how many people you have that love you.”

“I like you plenty. I just met you a couple months ago and you’re great.” Chris interjects.

Melody nods at the two. “Okay. I’m going to get ready now. Then we can go.”

All too soon, Buck is driving the two kids to school. Buck had taken the day off to be able to drop Melody off on her first day. Buck and Alex had worked out that she would drive both kids in, since Chris’s school was only a short distance from Melody’s.

Buck drops Chris off first, making sure he gets in the doors before driving away. Once Buck pulls up to Melody’s school, he parks, insisting on walking her in. He gets them both out of the vehicle, walking her right to her classroom.

“Bye daddy.” Melody turns towards the classroom, ready to run off.

“What, no hug?”

Melody shakes her head. “There are kids playing! I’m going to go introduce myself!”

“Okay. Have fun!” Buck calls. He wrings his hands as he watches her walk off.

“First time?”

Buck turns to the woman that spoke.

“Yeah. That noticeable?” Buck asks.

“I did the same thing with my first. She ran off to go play the moment she got a chance.”

“I guess I should just be glad her nerves from this morning went away.”

“It still stings, though.”

“Yeah. It does. My name’s Buck, by the way.”

“Oh, Marnie.”

“Nice to meet you.” Buck replies.

“You as well.”

They fall silent, watching their kids play for a moment.

“It’ll only hurt more the longer we watch them forget us. How about we go grab coffee? There’s a nice café down the street.” Marnie suggests.

“Yeah. I’d like that.”

They agree to meet at the café, each driving their vehicles to get them out of the school parking lot. Buck beats her there and sits down with a coffee and a pastry. While he’s waiting, he sends a picture of the two kids together from this morning to Eddie and then emailed it to Shannon. Once he’s sent that, Marnie sits down across from him.

“How many do you have?” Buck asks.

“Three. Max is 9, going into grade 4 this year. Melissa is 11, going into grade 6, she’s my oldest. My youngest is 6, starting today in your daughter’s class. His name is Mason. What about you?”

“Melody’s my youngest, she’s 6 as well. Right now, I’m looking after a friend’s kid, I have guardianship over him. He’s 15.”

“Oh wow. It’s nice of you to do that for your friend.”

“I guess. I don’t see it as something nice to do. He needed a place to stay, I have the space. He’s also more comfortable staying with me than with his Abuela and Tia. He would have had to move schools.”

“Well, either way, most people wouldn’t be so generous.”

Buck spends the morning getting to know Marnie. They exchange numbers, promising to have the kids get together soon, see if they can forge a friendship if the two don’t make one on their own. Once Buck gets home, he sees a text from Eddie.

Eddie: They look good!

Buck: She left without even giving me a hug, Eds. She just abandoned me!

Eddie: Did you cry? I bet you cried.

Buck: I did not cry.

Eddie: I’m surprised. This seems like something you’d cry over.

Buck: Normally, probably. Another parent distracted me before I had the chance to cry.

Eddie: Wasn’t that nice

Buck: Yeah it was. We had coffee and exchanged phone numbers. We’re going to get the kids together soon, see if they get along

Eddie: That sounds nice. It’s good to have another parent on your side.

Eddie: How’s Chris? Did he get to school alright?

Buck: Yeah he did. I watched him walk into the school. He didn’t want me to walk him to his classroom. I offered.

Eddie: Too cool for you too, I see.

Buck: Of course. He’s independent and doesn’t need anyone to walk him to his classroom

Eddie: I bet if Melody had wanted to, he would have let her

Buck: I would place money on that, actually. He adores her

Eddie: I can tell. You send so many pictures and videos of them. It’s nice to see

Buck: How’s rehab going? Therapy getting any better?

Eddie: Therapy’s getting better. Should start being able to switch to out-patient soon now that the worst of the withdrawal symptoms have passed

Eddie: Has Shannon contacted you yet? She was on vacation, wasn’t she?

Buck: No. I emailed her the picture of Chris and Melody this morning. I haven’t heard anything back from her in a month. I keep sending stuff to her email in case she ever wants to reach out. She knows where we are.

Buck sends the text off. Not even a moment later, Buck’s phone starts ringing. He picks up once he realizes it’s Eddie.

“Hey. I wasn’t expecting a call.”

“Yeah. I have time to kill. So she seriously hasn’t responded to anything?”

“No. Nothing. She just stopped showing up to therapy a month ago.”

“How’s Chris doing with all this? When we text, he hasn’t said anything.”

“He’s struggling with it. He’s mad at her for leaving again. We don’t even know if she’s still in LA.”

“Wow. I can’t believe she’d do this to Chris again. I thought therapy was going well between them.”

“So did I. I don’t know what happened. Chris refuses to talk to me about their last session. I haven’t insisted, just taken him to his therapist. We’ve also been doing our own therapy.”

“I hope she had a good reason for leaving this time.”

“So do I, Eds, so do I.”

The two spend a little longer on the phone, mostly talking about the kids. They have been texting often, Buck usually sending pictures or videos of the kids, with Chris’s okay, of course. This is the first time they’ve talked on the phone in almost two months, since Eddie admitted himself. It’s nice, talking on the phone.

Buck doesn’t want to admit it to himself, but every time he sees Eddie’s name pop up on his phone, his heart skips a beat. There’s so much history there, so much between the two of them, that it’s hard to imagine having the sort of relationship they had before. Before Eddie chose Shannon. Before the tsunami. Before Amelia, and Melody. Before Eddie’s drinking and before Mackey.

Buck knows, if they were to get back into a romantic relationship, it would take a lot of work. A lot of therapy. He’s not angry at Eddie for choosing Shannon. Not anymore. It would take a lot to gain any sort of trust back between them, but Buck thinks Eddie’s trying, at least. He doesn’t know what the future holds in this moment, but he knows that no matter what, he’s got family on his side.

***

“How was your first day of school?” Buck asks when Melody gets into Buck’s vehicle, later that afternoon.

“It was good! I made lots of friends!”

“Really? That’s awesome!” Buck says enthusiastically.

“Yeah! I can’t believe I was nervous this morning! I had no reason to be. The teacher is nice and so is everyone! We all talked about our favourite thing we did over the summer.”

“Being nervous is okay, though, especially with a new experience.”

“I know. I won’t be nervous tomorrow, though.”

“Good. Chris, how was your day?”

Chris shrugs. “It was fine. We already have an assignment due next week though.”

“Homework already? It’s only the first day!” Melody cries out.

“That’s what happens in higher grades. They give out homework on the first day.” Chris tells her.

“Oh. I think I like being in grade one. I’m okay with no homework on the first day.”

“Enjoy it while you can.” Chris tells her.

***

A door slams shut, pulling Buck out of the book he was reading. Chris comes into the living room as Buck looks up.

“Everything okay, Chris?”

“No. Nothing is okay.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“No. Maybe. I don’t know.”

“Well, come sit. How about we turn on a documentary while you decide? You don’t have to talk to me if you don’t want to, though, okay?”

Chris nods, grabbing the remote from the coffee table. He switches on a random documentary, clearly not paying much attention to it.

“I saw her today, at the mall when I was with friends.” Chris speaks up about halfway through the documentary.

“Who?” Buck looks over at him.

“Shannon. My mother.”

“Oh. Did you talk to her?”

“No. I wanted to, but I was too angry. I would have ended up yelling at her.”

Buck nods, giving Chris time to gather his thoughts more.

“I don’t know why she stopped going to therapy! I texted her a few times after and she didn’t respond. I know you’re sending her emails. Has she responded to any yet?”

“No she hasn’t.”

Chris nods, turning towards the TV for a moment.

“I think I hate her right now.”

“That’s okay. You’re allowed to hate her, Chris.”

“Do you think if I’d been living with her, she would have abandoned me again?” Chris speaks the words quietly.

“I don’t know, Chris. It’s hard to say. She might’ve, but no one knows that for sure.”

Chris nods, going quiet for a moment.

“I think it’s my fault, that she left again.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Because of the last therapy session we had. I got mad at her, for leaving the first time, for making dad choose between him and you instead of just coming back to be my mom. For her and dad fighting all the time. If I hadn’t brought that up, she wouldn’t have left.”

“No, Chris. That isn’t your fault. She decided to leave again. That was her choice, not yours, okay? Therapy was supposed to help you two work through that stuff. The point of it was to talk about the hard stuff in a controlled setting.”

Chris nods, not meeting Buck’s eyes.

“How did you know about your mom’s ultimatum?”

“I heard her and dad fighting about it one night. They were being really loud. I don’t think they realized how loud they were being, or that I could hear them. They fought about a lot of stuff that I overheard.”

“That must’ve been hard. I’m sorry you had to listen to that, Chris.”

Chris shrugs. “It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not. You’re allowed to be upset by it, and you’re allowed to be angry over it. Don’t pretend it’s okay because you think that’s what you should do, yeah?”

“Okay. I won’t pretend.”

The two fall into silence, watching the TV again.

“You sent dad the picture of me and Melody yesterday, right?”

“The one of you two at the park?”

Chris nods.

“Yeah. He’s happy to see you two getting along well.”

“You said he’s going to be switching to out-patient rehab soon, yeah?”

“Yeah. At the end of the month, he told me yesterday.”

Chris hesitates. “I… never mind…”

“What is it? You can tell me anything, Chris.”

“I… When dad’s in out-patient, I think I want to see him.”

“Okay, Chris. We can talk to him. Do you want me to set it up? We can also do it together if you’d like.”

“I want to talk to him about it. See if he’d be willing to meet at a public place first.”

“Okay. Maybe text and ask for a phone call, make sure he’s not busy with any programs.”

“Thank you.”

“No problem, kid.”

The two finish the documentary. By the time they’re done, Melody and May have returned home, and Isabel and Pepa have arrived for their weekly dinner.

The evening goes over well. The dinner is delicious, as always. Chris helped both Buck and Isabel in the kitchen, something he’d been doing more often over the last few months. Pepa kept both May and Melody entertained, May agreeing to stay for dinner on Isabel’s insistence.

Like always, they have plenty of leftovers to split between everyone to have the next day. The evening wraps up with a nice dessert, courtesy of Pepa. Overall, another successful dinner, with lovely people. Buck wishes they didn’t come into his life the way they did, but he’s still glad to have them around. No matter how it happened, he’s starting to see them all as family, even if they don’t see it themselves.

***

The month goes by fast. Buck offers to pick Eddie up from his rehab centre, but Eddie declines in favour of Pepa’s offer. Eddie and Chris have their outing set for that weekend. Buck will drop Chris off at the café then find somewhere to park nearby. May had agreed to take Melody to the park again, something Melody was really looking forward to. She loved her time with her aunt May.

Buck made sure to bring a book and made sure to keep an eye on his phone for when Chris needed him to swing by and pick him up. They had agreed Buck would drive him back home no matter how the meeting went, instead of Eddie driving him back home. If the meeting went well, Eddie would come to the weekly dinner. If not, he had agreed to stay away until Chris was more comfortable seeing him again. All of this was in Chris’s control, on Chris’s terms. Eddie was 100% okay with taking everything at his son’s pace, as him and Buck had talked about once Chris had talked to Eddie.

Buck ended up reading for two hours before Chris texted him. Buck quickly puts his book away and pulls around to the café entrance to pick up Chris.

“Hey. How’d it go?” Buck asks once Chris is settled.

“It went fine. He agreed to go to therapy with me. We set up an appointment for next week.”

“Good. I’m glad you have that set up.”

“Yeah. So am I. We agreed dad is going to stay home for family dinner tomorrow, at least until after we have our first therapy session next week.”

“I’m proud of you.”

“For what?”

“For setting boundaries and keeping them. I know it can be hard when someone may get hurt by them, but I’m proud of you for sticking to them, kid.”

“I’m not a kid. I’m a teenager.”

“Okay.” Buck concedes.

The rest of the ride home is silent. Once they get home, Buck starts on dinner for the night while Chris goes off to play video games, something he’d been getting more interested in. May again agrees to stay for dinner, and the rest of the night is a nice, relaxing night.

***

Thursday afternoon, Buck gets a call. He answers without looking at the contact.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Buck, it’s Marnie.”

“Hey Marnie, how’re you doing?”

“I’m good, how are you?”

“Good. Are you calling to get the kids together? We can meet at the park Saturday afternoon if you’d like.”

“Uh… yeah. We can do that. Getting the kids together would be nice.”

“Okay. Let’s say 1?”

“Sure.”

They figure out the park, then hang up. Buck finishes up his work day, then goes home to his family.

***

Saturday, Buck gets Melody ready to go to the park. Chris decides to stay home, not wanting to go to the park.

“We’ll be back, Chris. Call if you need, okay? You also have Alex and Adrian’s numbers, they’re close by as well.”

“I know. You can go now, I’ll be okay on my own.”

“Okay.”

With that, Buck and Melody leave, getting to the park in good time.

They quickly spot Marnie and the kids. Melody runs off to play with the kids, while Buck sits down on the bench beside Marnie. They talk for a little bit, watching the kids as they do.

“Do you want to get dinner with me sometime? As a date?” Marnie asks, out of the blue.

“Oh. Um… I…”

Marnie blushes. “Oh shit. This is so embarrassing. You’re in a relationship, aren’t you? I didn’t see a ring and assumed. I’m sorry, we can just forget all about this.”

“It’s alright. I am single, but… I’m not interested in dating right now. My wife died a year ago and I’m not ready for dating.”

“Oh my god. I’m sorry for your loss. Can we forget I ever asked you out?”

“Of course.”

They fall into an awkward silence.

“Your mom is nice, though. She drops off Melody, right?”

“No, uh, she’s my mother-in-law. She is nice. She looks after Melody while I’m at work.”

“Oh.”

Silence falls again, now the two just watching the kids.

“I’m sorry to have made this weird.”

“It’s alright. Next time we get the kids together, it should be less weird, hopefully.”

“Yeah. Hopefully.”

The rest of the afternoon, they make small talk, mostly about the kids. They agree to get the kids together again soon before parting ways.

Chapter Ten

Eddie’s first therapy session with Chris was quickly coming closer. He didn’t know how to feel about it. While he was excited about seeing his son again, he was also scared. His actions and words were unforgiveable, something Eddie himself would never forgive himself for. Chris has every right to shut him out and never want to see him again, and therapy would be the perfect place to do that. A tiny part of him hopes Chris doesn’t want to see him again. Eddie loves his son and would be heartbroken, but if Chris can’t forgive him, then Eddie has no reason to forgive himself.

Eddie says his goodbye’s to Abuela and Tia Pepa before driving himself to the therapist’s office. He knows Buck will be waiting outside in his vehicle for them to be done so he can drive Chris home. Home, Chris’s home for the last few months has been with Buck. Eddie never expected that, for Buck to step up in any capacity and look after Chris. With how Eddie treated him years ago and since he moved back, it’s a shock Buck wants anything to do with anyone with the last name Diaz. This situation shows his character, though, and how much he loves and cares for people, if he’s so willing to take Chris in.

Eddie owes Buck so much. Not only for not throwing him on his ass the moment he saw Eddie again, but also for being so kind and caring. He’s gone above and beyond anything Eddie ever expected, and it just proves how much he fucked up years ago. If Buck had been another person, he would have hurt Eddie the same way Eddie hurt Chris that day in Abuela’s. If Eddie’s honest, he probably should have. He would have more than deserved it.

Eddie slowly makes his way into the building. When he gets there, Chris is waiting in the waiting room.

“Do you mind if I sit beside you while we wait?” Eddie asks.

Chris shrugs. “Sure. Go ahead.”

He does. Shortly after, they are called into the room. They give introductions, then settle into their seats. They both sit down in one of the armchairs in the room, across from each other.

“So, Chris, why don’t we start with you?”

“Okay. With what?” Chris asks.

“How do you feel about your dad leaving the rehab centre?”

“I don’t know. It’s nice to know that he’s here. He’s with family. It’ll be nice to be able to see him I guess.”

“You guess?”

“I worry that without the support of rehab, he’ll start drinking again.”

“Okay. Eddie. How do you feel about being out of rehab?”

“I don’t know. I like being around family. My Abuela and Tia have been really supportive with me staying with them. I haven’t had a drink yet, and I don’t plan on it, but I also haven’t been around alcohol. My Abuela was very insistent that when I am there, alcohol will not be present.”

“That’s a good plan. What made you get help finally?”

“Getting into the hard stuff right away, huh, doc?” Eddie jokes.

“It has to start somewhere. Why not here?’

Eddie hesitates.

“It’s okay, dad. We’ll have to talk about it eventually anyways.”

“Okay.” Eddie closes his eyes, then opens them. “Okay.”

“Take your time. This must be hard for you.”

“Hard for me? Yeah, sure. I’m not worried about me, though, I’m worried about Chris. Since I heard the voice recording I haven’t been able to get that moment out of my mind. I’ve replayed it enough times since then.”

“What are you worried about? That he won’t forgive you?”

“In a way, yeah, but I don’t expect forgiveness. That isn’t what this is about. Therapy together is to make sure Chris is okay, that he isn’t stuck in that moment forever. While I would love to keep seeing him and talking to him,” Eddie glances at Chris, who is watching him, “what’s more important here is making sure my son is in a healthy place and can have a happier life than I provided for his childhood.”

“What you’re saying is, Chris’s happiness and health is the most important thing to you.”

“Yeah.”

“Is that what caused you to go to rehab for your drinking?”

“Yes. I…” Eddie closes his eyes, letting the tears fall. “I threatened him. I was so drunk I didn’t remember what happened. Maybe it was denial. I… it’s still fuzzy now. But… I threatened to take his crutches when he dumped my alcohol down the sink…”

“You mentioned earlier you haven’t been able to keep that moment out of your mind, but it’s fuzzy. What about that moment is fuzzy?”

“I don’t remember screaming at him, or threatening him. What I haven’t been able to keep out of my mind is listening to the recording that Chris took. I…” Eddie looks to Chris now. “You must have been so scared. I’m sorry for having scared you in that way.”

Chris shrugs. “I was. It was terrifying. I did all I could to just leave. If Shannon hadn’t been there, I would have called an Uber to take me to Buck’s.”

“When did you start calling your mom Shannon, Chris?” The therapist interjects.

“She doesn’t want to be my mom, she doesn’t get to be called mom anymore.” Chris states angrily.

“Okay. We can talk about that more another time. Chris, how would you say that moment affected your relationship with Eddie?”

“I don’t trust him. I still love him, but I can’t be alone with him unless we’re in public or I’m recording him. I don’t know if I can forgive him, either. He really scared me.”

“It’s okay to not know if you can forgive him. What happened was traumatizing. It’s going to take some time to get through that, and trust him again. Do you want to keep in contact with him?”

“I think so, yeah. I love him and don’t want to shut him out. I think contact should stay to texts or calls, or when other people are around.”

“Eddie, are you okay with contact working like that?”

“Yes. The most important thing to me is Chris’s comfort and safety. However I can help make him comfortable and safe is perfectly fine with me.”

“How would you feel, Chris, if Eddie waited to talk to you until you reached out? That way you can initiate conversations. Would that make you more comfortable, or would you like Eddie to make some effort to reach out as well?”

Chris takes a moment to think things over. “I think, for now, I want to be the one to reach out.”

“Okay. Eddie, are you okay with that?”

“Yes I am.”

The end of the first session comes faster than Eddie thought it would. Chris waves him goodbye, letting Eddie leave first, as the two have an individual session scheduled for after their session. On his way out, he waves at Buck. Buck waves him over to the vehicle.

“How bad was it?”

“Well, he doesn’t hate me and still wants to talk to me, so I count that as a win. I wasn’t sure if we’d even get to that point.”

“Of course he still wants to talk to you. He loves you. You fucked up a lot and have a lot to make up for, but it’s not something Chris wants to cut contact over.”

“I think I was a little worried that he would want to cut me out of his life. I would deserve it and I would accept it, but it would be hard to get used to.”

Buck gives Eddie an assessing look. “You would deserve it, yeah, but that doesn’t mean that’s what he wants.”

“I know. Chris is the most important party here. I will do whatever he wants in all of this. His comfort, his safety, is more important than anything.”

“I agree.”

“Thank you, Buck. For doing all this for him. You’ve been amazing through all of this.”

“I appreciate your thanks, but like you said, Chris is the most important person here.”

Eddie nods, turning to go back to his vehicle.

“Oh, and Eddie?”

Eddie turns back to him.

“Get therapy for yourself as well, outside of what rehab is giving you. You need to work through things outside of a space where Chris is directly in front of you.”

Eddie nods, turning away again.

The drive to Abuela’s doesn’t take long. Eddie enters the house, the two women quieting down when he does.

“How was therapy?” Tia Pepa asks.

“It was hard, but good. He didn’t tell me he wants to cut me out completely, so that’s a win.”

“I doubt he would have. Your son loves you.” Abuela tells him.

“I know he does.”

“We talked to your sisters.” Tia Pepa says.

“How did that go?”

“For the moment, they’re not willing to talk to you. They worry that since you cut them off so easily that you could do it again. They did allow us to give Chris their phone numbers so he can talk to them if he wishes.”

Eddie nods.

“They are very hurt by your past decisions.” Abuela tells him.

“I know. I’m grateful they’re willing to keep Chris in their lives, at least.”

“Your actions have hurt us all, Eddito. Chris most of all.”

“I know, Abuela. I don’t expect that hurt to go away just because I’m sober.”

“Did you give Chris your letter?”

“No. Not yet. I’m going to give that to him next session. Then I’ll give Buck his.”

Tia Pepa nods. “Mine was very well written. I know it was a part of the rehab program, but I’m glad you’ve decided to give them to the people you hurt most.”

“I wrote them for all of you, I think you deserve to have the option to read the words I wrote to you, at least.”

“Have you given any more thought to if you’ll email Shannon hers?” Tia Pepa asks.

“No. I keep thinking it over, but every time I think of her, I get angry. I understand how hard therapy is, and how hard it is to own up to your mistakes, but she left him. Again. I don’t know how she did it the first time, I don’t know how she did it this time.”

“In a way, you leaving for rehab could be seen as leaving him.” Tia Pepa interjects.

“The difference is, I responded if he reached out to me. I kept communication open for him if he wanted to reach out. She’s just completely cut him off, she’s done it twice now.”

“True. You haven’t abandoned him like she has, but you have also hurt him greatly.” Tia Pepa tells him.

“I have. I will always be angry at myself for hurting him like that. I’m angrier at myself than at her, but I’m still angry.”

“Good.”

“Pepa.” Abuela scolds.

“He needs to know, mama. He needs the truth right now, not coddling.”

“I am not coddling him. I am being a good Abuela to mi nieto.”

“Okay, mama.”

Eddie gets up from the table, then, moving to the backyard to continue fixing the back deck. Part of the stipulations for staying here was fixing things around the house. Another was no drinking under any circumstances. If Eddie even had a sip of anything alcoholic on purpose, he’d be kicked out. He’s grateful to have his Tia and Abuela in this moment. They took him in and gave him a place to stay, a place to heal. He hasn’t contacted work yet, but he knows his suspension has been lifted. He went on a leave of absence to recover, talking to his boss about it before he left for rehab. He’d still been under suspension then, but they worked it out that when/if the suspension was lifted, Eddie would be placed on a leave of absence.

Eddie doesn’t know when he’ll return to work. He needs to give himself some time yet to recover more, have more time sober, before he returns. He knows a lot of his coworkers go out for drinks after work, and is usually invited along with them. More time sober will give him more time to prepare to say no to those offers. For now, Eddie is more than okay with spending his days fixing up the house. When that’s done, he’ll look into returning to work again.

***

At the end of the next therapy session, Eddie gives Chris the letter. Chris hangs onto it. Eddie tells him he doesn’t have to read it if he doesn’t want to, he just wants Chris to have the option.

Once Eddie leaves, he goes up to Buck and hands him a letter as well.

“What’s this?”

“It’s a letter. I wrote them in rehab for everyone I hurt the most. I’m giving them out to the people I wrote them for, so they have the option of reading them if they want. You don’t have to, though.”

“Thanks. I’ll consider it.” Buck tells him.

Eddie goes on with his day, relieved that Shannon’s is the only letter he has left.

***

A few weeks later, Eddie transfers Shannon’s letter into her email, then sends it. He never gets an email back.

Dear Shannon,

You’re probably the person I’ve hurt most, aside from Chris. I am deeply, truly, sorry for all the hurt I’ve caused you. You didn’t deserve the years of screaming matches, or the ignoring, the fights. I know we both made mistakes, but I caused a lot of our issues.

If I hadn’t started drinking, I don’t think we would have fought so often. Sure, we would have fought, but I doubt we would have yelled at each other as much as we did. I know we tried for another kid as well, and I’m sorry that never ended up working out either. Both of us would have loved another kid, but I’m not sure another kid would have been good for us. Chris was already hurt so deeply by our fighting, another kid would have just made those feelings worse.

I’m sorry for choosing you. We both knew I wasn’t in love with you any more, even if I did still love you. I should have ignored my brain and listened to my heart, maybe then there wouldn’t be as much heartbreak, anger, and resentment between the two of us.

I hope you have a good life, Shan.

***

At the beginning of December, Eddie makes the decision to go back to work. It isn’t easy, but he needs to do it. Both for himself, and for his family. The sooner he can start supporting himself again, the better. He’s had a few close calls and still wants a drink every day, but the thought of hurting Chris again stops him every time. The shame and guilt he’s been working through in therapy are a good motivator as well, but the biggest is his determination not to hurt Chris again.

Chapter Eleven

Chris is sullen after his therapy session. Buck doesn’t know if Chris got a letter as well, but based on his mood, Buck thinks he did. Buck’s going to let Chris bring it up, he doesn’t want to pressure him into talking if he doesn’t want to. That would lead nowhere good.

“Can I talk to you?” Chris asks, entering the kitchen.

“Yeah, Chris, of course.”

Chris walks over to the island, placing a sealed envelope on it.

“Dad wrote me a letter in rehab. I haven’t read it. I don’t know if I want to read it.”

“Maybe I can help you make a decision.”

“Okay.”

“Why don’t you want to read it?”

“What if it makes me not mad at him anymore? What if it makes me want to forgive him? What if it makes me never want to forgive him?”

“Okay. Those are all good reasons. Why do you want to read it?”

“Because I love him. I want to know what he has to say. What if it makes everything better?”

“Do you want everything to get better?”

“No. Yes. I don’t know. I want to not be mad at him anymore. I want to trust him again, but I don’t know how.”

“It’s a process. Has your therapist outlined anything to help build that trust again?”

Chris nods. “He’s been having us talk through the hard stuff. The fights I heard, moving, his threat.”

“Is it working?”

“It’s helping me be less mad, having him not brush that all aside.”

“But it’s not helping with the trust.”

“No.”

“Maybe you could talk to your therapist, work on ways to help build trust instead of just talking about the bad stuff. It’s important to talk through that, but it’s also important to work on building trust, if that’s something you want to do.”

“Okay. I’ll talk to him.”

“Okay. Now, how about you help me prep dinner?”

Chris agrees, quickly going to wash his hands.

“Do you think you’ll ever forgive him, Buck?”

“For hurting you? I don’t know. That’s not up to me.”

“No. For hurting you.”

“Oh. I have forgiven him. I forgave him a long time ago for that.”

“But you don’t love him anymore.”

Buck sighs. “It’s not as simple as whether or not I love him. There’s a lot of history there. When your dad came back, I was struggling with Amelia’s death. I was having trouble letting him close to me. I was afraid that if I acknowledged that I still had love for him, it would erase my grief. I was also struggling with trusting him again.”

“Did you? Trust him again?”

“No. Before we could get close to anything related to trust, we had a big fight. Then everything happened with you.”

“Do you think you’ll ever trust him again?”

“I don’t know. Maybe. It would be hard, and I could never trust him around alcohol.”

Chris nods.

“What if I never trust him again? I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to live in the same space as him.”

“You don’t have to. You can stay here as long as you want. I’m not going to kick you out. You’re here to stay.”

Chris nods, walking over to hug Buck.

“Thank you.”

“Of course, any time.”

***

Around mid-December, Chris approaches Buck again.

“I want to invite Dad to Christmas.”

Buck glances over at him from the couch.

“Okay. Like, for Christmas dinner? I’m sure Isabel and Pepa could bring him when they come by.”

“No. Well, that too, I guess. I want to invite him for Christmas day. To open presents with us. If you’re okay with it, of course.”

Buck thinks for a moment. “Yeah. I’m okay with it. Do you want him to come over in the morning, or spend the night and come over Christmas Eve?”

“Christmas Eve.”

“Okay. How about you invite him?”

“Are you sure? I don’t mind if you do it.”

“I think he’ll appreciate it more coming from you.”

“Okay.”

***

Christmas Eve comes quickly. Eddie arrived just in time for dinner, putting the presents he brought under the tree.

“I know it looks like a lot, but Abuela and Tia Pepa sent theirs with me as well.”

“I’ll be sure to thank them tomorrow when they get here.”

The four of them spend the evening watching Christmas movies, all of them in Christmas pajamas. Eddie had to borrow some from Buck, as he didn’t have any Christmas pajamas of his own. Overall, it’s a really nice evening.

Once the kids are in bed, Eddie helps Buck put presents to everyone from Santa under the tree, the two of them splitting the milk, cookies, and carrots Melody insisted they put out. She wanted to make sure the reindeer had a snack as well.

Once that’s done, the two sit on the couch together, putting on a movie in the background.

“How are you doing being back at work?”

“I’m alright with it. It’s nice to get out of the house. I’m thinking in the next month I’ll start looking into places of my own.”

“I’m sure Isabel and Pepa are looking forward to that, not having you around all the time to fix everything they want.” Buck jokes.

“Oh yeah. They’ll be okay, though. I’ll still come around and fix anything, I just won’t be living there.”

“Yeah. They know you’ll be around any time they need.”

“I was thinking of renting, actually. An apartment. Two bedrooms, maybe have a room for Chris when or if he’s ready.”

“Are you ready for that? Living on your own?”

“I’m not sure. I don’t want to keep staying full time with Tia Pepa and Abuela. I know I’m not bothering them, but I feel bad. They have to accommodate me constantly, not being able to have any alcohol in the house, you know?”

“Yeah. I’m sure that’s not a problem for them, though. They love having you around.”

“They do. Chris is really okay with me being here tonight?”

“He asked me if you could come specifically.”

“How’s he been with everything? We talk about it in therapy, but I don’t know how he is at home.”

“He’s doing okay. He’s kept up on his schoolwork and has a good social life.”

“Does he talk to you?”

“A bit, yeah. I talked to him about if he wanted to read your letter. I don’t know if he ever did.”

“Okay. I’m glad he talks to you, Buck.”

“So am I.”

They fall into a comfortable silence.

“Did you read the letter?”

“No. I still haven’t made up my mind on if I want to or not.”

“No pressure. You don’t have to.”

“Thanks.”

They go back to watching the movie, before Buck speaks up again.

“How’ve you been doing with AA? Still going?”

“Yeah. It’s been good for me. There were a few nights after I got back into work where people would ask if I wanted to go for drinks with them. I almost gave in. Instead, I went to a meeting.”

“Good. That’s good.”

“Yeah. They’ve been more helpful than my therapist when talking through my guilt.”

“I’m glad you have people who can help you with that.”

“Can I ask you something, Buck?”

“Anything.”

“Why didn’t you hit me after you talked to Chris? I wouldn’t have blamed you.”

Buck thinks before responding.

“I hate violence. I may have never seen Doug hit Maddie, but I saw how deeply it affected her. Violence never ends well. That, and Chris would have seen it. He didn’t need to.”

Eddie nods. “Yeah. Thank you. For helping.”

Buck nods in acknowledgement.

The rest of the night goes by in silence, the two finishing the movie before tucking in to bed, expecting an early morning the next day.

***

Melody gets everyone up early the next morning, as was expected. Buck insists that they eat something before diving into any presents, much to Melody’s displeasure.

“Mels, you know we eat before presents, we’ve done it every year.”

“But daddy, we have Chris here this year. Why can’t we open presents then eat?”

“Because you need food to fuel your excitement. It won’t take long.”

“But daddy…”

“If we eat first, you can go right to playing with your new toys after opening them, okay?”

Melody thinks over Buck’s proposal before agreeing excitedly, sitting down at the table to wait for breakfast.

Buck gets breakfast done up while Eddie makes coffee. They eat quickly, Buck and Eddie bringing another cup of coffee with them into the living room. Melody gets Chris to help her hand out presents, setting them each in little piles by where each person is going to sit. Melody insists Chris sits beside her on the couch, while Buck and Eddie each take an armchair.

The two adults insist the kids open their gifts first, wanting to watch them open everything uninterrupted. Both kids love the gifts they got, Melody so excited that she starts playing with some of the more interesting toys first.

Chris goes off to his room, bringing his gifts with him, insisting he needs a nap after being woken up too early. Buck gets Melody set up with a few toys in her room, knowing they will distract her all day.

“Now, let’s open our gifts, since the kids are less interested in watching us than we are watching them.” Buck asks.

Eddie nods in confirmation.

The two adults don’t have near as many gifts as the kids did, mostly gifts from family. Buck starts with his mom, then works his way through Harry, May, his dad, Audrey and Lucy, and Alex and Adrian. By the time he’s done opening those, Eddie is almost done his pile. Buck only has a few left from Eddie, Pepa, and Isabel.

Buck opens Isabel’s first.

“It’s a recipe box filled with family recipes. She wanted to give them to you as thanks for taking care of Chris. That, and you’ve treated them like family since taking Chris in, so she insisted you had to have the family recipes since you’re family.”

Buck tears up at his explanation. “I-I’ll have to thank her when she gets here later.”

Pepa’s is a new coffee mug, one of the big ones.

“It’s colour changing. It will change into a picture of Melody and Chris. That’s what she told me, anyways.”

“It’s amazing. I’ll show it off later.”

Buck opens Eddie’s gift next, the last one he has. Upon seeing it, the tears he tried to hold back earlier fall.

“I wasn’t sure if it’s something you’d like, so if it’s not, I can get you something different.”

“No, it’s perfect.” Buck tells him through his tears.

Staring back at Buck is a family portrait. It’s one Buck had sent Eddie while he was away in rehab, where Buck is on the couch, Chris and Melody beside him, Chris tickling Melody. All three of them were laughing in the picture. Audrey had taken it when they weren’t paying attention one day when she was over for a visit. Beside Buck, though, is Amelia. She’s laughing as well, glancing at the two kids.

“I found a company that does custom paintings. They add in loved ones that have died into existing photos, mixing the two. I got Audrey to look for a picture of Amelia laughing for the painting.”

“It’s beautiful.”

“I thought it was important for you to have a family portrait of everyone. Chris is family at this point, so…”

“He is. He will always be family.”

“Good. I’m glad he has you, Buck.”

“Can you help me hang this? I’m thinking right here, behind the couch.”

“Yeah of course. Do you have stuff for that?”

“Yeah.”

Buck grabs the supplies, then the two of them hang the painting. Once that’s done, Buck insists Eddie opens his gift.

Eddie opens the small box, staring in confusion.

“It’s a key? I’m confused.” Eddie glances up at Buck, holding up the key.

“It’s a house key, for my house.”

Eddie’s eyes widen. “Are you sure, Buck?”

“Never more sure than in this moment. I talked to Chris and Melody about this, although I talked more in depth with Chris than with Melody.”

“Okay. Well, thank you.”

“It’s more than just the key, though, Eds. We want you to stay here part time. Live here. I also talked to Isabel and Pepa. They agreed to have you live there part time and here, if it’s what you wanted.”

“But… Chris. Is he okay with me being here? I don’t want to make him uncomfortable.”

“Both him and his therapist talked through the options. He thinks this is the best solution to building up trust again. You live here part time, where there’s always another adult around, instead of the two of you living alone. There will be no alcohol allowed in the house. It’s not like I drink heavily anyways. I rarely keep alcohol in the house as is. You and Chris continue therapy.”

“Okay. I… I think I want to.”

“Okay. Another thing…”

“Yeah?”

“We go to therapy. Together. I know we’ve been building a good friendship the last couple months, but I want us to work on the hard things. We still have some issues to work through, with both of our pasts, and I want to make sure we have a good foundation to co-parent.”

“Okay. Yeah, I’ll go to therapy with you.”

“I’ll work on setting that up.”

“Thanks, Buck. I assume you want to have the first session before I move in?”

“I hadn’t thought of that, but it’s a good idea, yeah.”

“Just let me know. I’m okay with whenever.”

“Okay.”

***

Buck walks up to Amelia’s grave, letter in hand. He sits himself down across from the headstone.

“Hey. I know it’s been a bit. I’ve been busy with Chris. You remember me telling you about Chris, yeah? He came to live with us. Things got complicated between Eddie, Shannon, and Chris. I offered.”

Buck takes a deep breath.

“I still miss you every day. I don’t know how to move on. I tried the friends with benefits thing with Taylor and it didn’t help any. It was fun, sure, but it didn’t actually do anything to help me be ready to move on. I know everyone is worried about me. I see the looks they give me, but I can’t.”

Buck wipes at his face, not caring to stop the tears.

“Taylor was understanding when I ended the benefits part of our friendship. We have nights out every once in a while, but we’re more casual friends. She was a big help with finding Melody. I think she’ll be my contact if I need something reported quickly in the future.

“I have this letter Eddie wrote me. I didn’t want to be at home when I read it, but I need to read it before he moves in. He’ll be moving in part time. Chris wants to see him more but doesn’t want to be living with him alone yet. I think I will read it here, with you. Here goes nothing.”

Buck opens the letter.

“Dear Buck,

I have a lot to apologize for. I’ll start with the beginning. I’m sorry I chose Shannon. I knew you were right. I didn’t love her, but I couldn’t let myself believe that, because if I believed that, I had to confront why I don’t love her. I was a mess back then. I still am. You should have never been dragged into the middle of that mess.

I don’t blame you for choosing yourself. If anything, I’m jealous of your ability to choose yourself. It’s something I’ve never been able to do. I’ve always done everything for everyone else. I’m starting to learn to do more for me.

I’m sorry for asking you to be my affair partner. That wasn’t fair to anyone in that situation, least of all you. I wasn’t ready to let you go yet, but I see now that you rejecting me then was the best thing for both of us.

The thing I’m most sorry for is putting you through all I have in the last year. You were already dealing with grieving your wife, you didn’t need my angry, drunk ass blaming you for shit that happened years ago, shit that wasn’t even your fault.

I will forever be in your debt for taking Chris in. With all the shit I have put you through, now and years ago, you could have told me to fuck off and that would have been more than fair, I would not have blamed you. I know you took Chris in for him and not for me, but he’s my son. He’s connected to me, so it would have been understandable to not want to take him in knowing he was connected to me.

You are so selfless, Buck, not only for forgiving me for me not choosing you, but for taking Chris in when he needed a stable adult. You manage to have the perfect balance between selflessness and keeping true to yourself. I admire it so much.

Thank you, for everything.

Eddie.”

Buck finishes the letter, taking a moment to think.

“Wow. I… He’s said some similar things about me taking in Chris, but… this feels different. I’m still angry with his threats to Chris, that won’t go away without therapy. But I think I’m ready to forgive him for everything else. Everything since he’s come back. Chris is the only one who can forgive him for the threats. I’ve made sure Chris knows that he doesn’t have to.”

Buck looks away from the headstone, up to the sky.

“Can I tell you something, love? Something I haven’t been able to admit to myself?

“I think I’m still in love with Eddie. I can feel it when he smiles at me. I don’t want to be. There’s so much there. Not only that, how do I trust that he won’t start drinking again if things get hard? If he… if he hurt Melody, or Chris again, I would never be able to forgive him or myself.

“At the same time, he’s the only person I could see myself with aside from you. Truly. I… I would need to give it time and therapy. I don’t know. I don’t even know if he would want to try anything or if, by the time we finish therapy, he would still love me. Or even if I would still love him. At the same time, I’ve loved him through everything else before. Maybe therapy will change things for the better. I guess I’ll have to wait and see, then.”

Buck stands, using the crutch he brought with him as leverage.

“Goodbye, my love. Merry Christmas. I’ll see you again soon.”

With that, Buck goes home. When he arrives, the house is full of family. The perfect end to an imperfect holiday.

***

On New Year’s Eve, Chris comes up to Buck.

“Mom sent me a letter.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. It was delivered on Christmas day while you were out. She left one for you too. I guess she had someone she knows drop it off.”

“Okay. Did you read it?”

Chris shakes his head. “Not yet. I don’t want to be alone when I read it.”

“Okay.”

With that, Chris pulls two letters out of his back pocket, handing one to Buck, opening the other.

Chris scans his letter in silence. Once he finishes, Chris hugs Buck, crying into his shoulder. Buck can only hold tight, making sure Chris has support. After a minute, he pulls back.

“She says she’s sorry for leaving me. She was never cut out to be a mother and couldn’t face how much she hurt me. She thought it would be better if she left.” Chris wipes at his tears. “Am I a mistake, Buck?”

“No. You’re not a mistake. You may not have been planned, but you were never, nor are you currently, a mistake.” Buck says sternly.

“Am I unlovable?”

“No. If you’re so unlovable then how do I love you? How does Melody love you? Your dad, Abuela, Tia Pepa, Audrey, my mom. I could go on naming the countless people who love you.”

“But if my own mother can’t love me, I must be unlovable. She can’t love her mistake.”

“Shannon is not the indicator of who can or cannot love you. I know she does love you, Chris, she just couldn’t face her own mistakes. That’s her problem, not yours, okay?”

Chris nods. “You really love me?”

“Of course. What’s not to love?”

At that moment, Melody comes running in. “Chris! Come play! I need some help building my tower and I’m not tall enough!”

“She wouldn’t ask you to play if she didn’t love you.”

Chris looks between the two, then goes after Melody. As the afternoon creeps on, Buck can hear the two giggling in Melody’s bedroom. Knowing they’re both distracted, Buck takes that moment to open the letter.

Buck.

I can’t do it. I can’t put him through therapy. I’m a fuck up. I messed him up so much he needed therapy to live with me. I need you to continue to take care of him. At least then I know he’s safe. I know you’ll protect him from Eddie like I would.

Shannon.

Once he’s done the letter, he leafs through the other papers there. Included are papers terminating Shannon’s parental rights with a letter signed by a lawyer of Shannon’s intent for Chris to stay with Buck. Upon seeing that, Buck rubs his face. Him and Eddie have therapy in a few days, he’ll tell Eddie then. Better to do it in a controlled setting.

The kids continue to play well into the evening, Buck ordering them pizza for dinner. Soon enough, it’s time to ring in the new year. Buck has hope that this year will be better than the last one. If that hope is wishful thinking or not time will tell.

***

“Son of a bitch!” Eddie yells, slamming the door to his truck as he gets in.

“I know. I’m mad too.” Buck reassures, climbing into the passenger seat.

“I can’t believe she’d sign away her rights like that. How can she just leave him? He didn’t ask her to.”

“I know.”

“How’s Chris handling it?”

“He’s been sad. I know he’s missed her. He was angry before the letter, now he’s mostly just sad.”

“I understand why. A mother shouldn’t abandon a child like that.”

“I agree. At least he has somewhere safe to go, though, and she didn’t leave him completely alone.”

“Yeah. She trusted you with him. I emailed her my letter. Do you think that may be what caused this?”

“It may have caused her to send her own letter, but she was gone before you left rehab.”

“Couldn’t handle the guilt.”

The rest of the ride is quiet as Eddie drives Buck home. The first session went well, overall. Aside from Buck telling Eddie about Shannon, that is. They have agreed that Eddie will move in at the beginning of next month, giving them time to have one more session, as well as have Eddie and Chris have a session before they move Eddie in. They worked out that Eddie will stay with Buck Friday through Monday, staying with Isabel and Pepa the other nights of the week. Alex would still be over to watch Melody after school, as well as pick both kids up from school.

Having a timeline and plan worked out makes the thought less daunting. It gives Buck time to mentally prep, as well as make sure there is no alcohol left in the house before he moves in. At least with Chris, Buck only had to prep the room. The rest of the house is already accessible, seeing as Buck needed it to be for his own disability.

Chris is waiting for Buck when he enters the house.

“Hey Chris. Everything okay?”

“When is he moving in?”

“He’s moving in at the beginning of next month.”

Chris nods, hesitating a bit.

“Is there something on your mind?”

“I’m nervous. About living with him again.”

“Are you scared?”

“No. Just nervous. It’s been 5 months since we lived together.”

“It has been. I’m glad you’re not scared, Chris.”

“So am I. I read his letter.”

“How do you feel?”

“I feel good about it. Better than Shannon’s letter.” Chris states bitterly.

“Good.”

“Do you need any help cooking tonight?”

“Yeah. I think I do. Want to be my sous chef?”

Chris nods enthusiastically. The two start on dinner prep, finishing it up quickly. Dinner finishes an hour later, and the three of them spend an evening watching movies. A good end to the night.

***

A month goes by fast. Eddie moves half of his clothes into his room in Buck’s house. They all spend that night together, the four of them, a new normal. While it may not be a conventional family, it’s his. A family he made all by himself, something he’s always prided himself on finding. Now, he’s just expanded it to include four more people to love. People he never thought he’d have back in his life. No matter how he got there, he’s grateful for all the family he has made.

Epilogue

One Year Later

Buck helps Abuela stuff the turkey, getting up early to do so. Chris was up with them, insisting he needed to finish his entrance essay for university. He has refused to let Eddie or Buck help with it, insisting it needs to be a surprise for the two of them. Buck trusts him to write the best essay he can, and is glad that Chris is so passionate about the essay.

Soon enough, Chris emerges from his room. He’s greeted by a house full of people, everyone helping with preparing Easter dinner in one way or another. No one came in empty handed, everyone having brought an important part of the meal.

Soon enough, the table is stretched out to capacity and everyone is stuffed around it. All of Buck’s family in one place, for a nice holiday dinner. Soon enough, Chris will be off to University. Melody is still a kid, she’ll be around for years yet, but she is growing up. The first time Buck realized was the first time she called him ‘dad’ instead of ‘daddy’. That night, Buck complained to Eddie, who laughed at him. All Buck could do was pout at him.

Eddie insists that since Abuela and Buck did most of the cooking, he clean up the kitchen with help from Michael, Bobby, and David. No one complains. The evening goes off without a hitch. Dessert is as good as ever, then it’s time for everyone to leave. As Eddie is leaving to drive Abuela and Pepa home, Chris corners Buck.

“Can you read this? I finished my entrance essay.”

“Yeah of course.” Buck takes the paper from him.

Family goes further than blood. I hear people say that a lot, but don’t actually mean it. They’re the people that prioritize blood family over anyone else, the people who would rather ignore bad behaviour from family instead of confronting that behaviour.

The most important thing to me is my family. Without family, I would not be where I am. I know most people say that, but I mean it. My family doesn’t look like everyone else’s family. I have two dads. I had a mom, but she left. I struggled with her leaving for months, thinking it was my fault. My second dad helped me realize it was her fault, not mine.

My second dad has stepped up for me so many times. When my first dad was struggling with addiction, Buck was there. When my mother left me after dad was put into rehab, Buck was there. No matter how much I struggled, Buck was there. He is every bit as much my dad as my biological father is. He’s helped in so many ways. Not only me, but with my dad as well. He’s helped put us back together again by not only encouraging therapy, but by showing from example.

If it wasn’t for Buck, I would have never agreed to therapy. If it wasn’t for Buck, I would have never learned to forgive my dad. He’s encouraged me to work as hard as I can. He’s even showed me that anyone can do anything. He’s gone to school and become a forensic scientist, all while being an amputee. He’s showed me that no matter how difficult life may be, there will be people to support you. As someone with Cerebral Palsy, Buck’s example is the best example I could have had in my teen years to prove that I can actually do whatever I put my mind to.

Family is important, but the most important family is the family that chooses you. My mother didn’t choose me, but both of my dads did. I hope to make them proud of the kid they chose to love.

Buck can’t hold back his tears. “This is beautiful, Chris.”

“Thanks. I meant it, every word. You’re my dad, Buck.”

This makes Buck cry harder.

At that moment, the front door opens, Eddie back from dropping off Abuela and Pepa.

“Chris. What did you do to make him cry?” Eddie asks.

“I gave him my entrance essay.”

“Ah. Took the opportunity to do that while I was gone, I see. It made me cry when I read it last week as well.”

“Last week? You said you were finishing it today.”

“I lied. I had to get dad in on it to make this work.”

“Make what work?” Buck looks between the two, just now noticing Melody peering around the corner.

Eddie comes forward, kneeling in front of Buck.

“Buck. You have become such an important part of all of our lives since that first time I met you. You’ve given me so much of my life back as well in the last year. I don’t know where I’d be without your support.”

“You’re not proposing, are you?” Buck asks.

“That’s exactly what I’m doing, Buck. I know it’s only been eight months since we officially got together, but we’ve been working towards this for months before that. I love you, cariño. Would you do me the honor of marrying me and becoming my husband?”

At this moment, Melody comes from around the corner, holding out a ring box.

“Please, daddy? Say yes!”

“Daddy, huh? You must really want us to get married.”

Melody nods enthusiastically, alongside Chris.

“Yes. I will marry you, Eddie.”

Eddie scoops Buck off the couch, spinning him around the living room. Eddie puts him down, only to turn to Melody, scooping her up and swinging her around as well. The rest of the night is spent just the four of them. They will have to tell family, but that can wait until tomorrow. Tonight is for them.

---