Reading Time: 118 Minutes

Title: Vision in the Fire
Author: Bythia
Fandom: 9-1-1: Lone Star
Genre: Contemporary, Episode Related, Established Relationship, Slash
Relationship(s): Carlos Reyes/TK Strand
Content Rating: PG-13
Warnings: not Gabriel Reyes friendly, mention of the pandemic as per canon.
Author Note: see main page
Beta: starlitenite
Word Count: 60,466
Summary: As the son of a firefighter who followed his father into the profession, TK has known his whole life what kind of devastation a fire can bring. At least, that’s what he thought until the home he has just found with Carlos is threatened by an arsonist aiming to hurt their fathers. In the aftermath, TK must recognize that he was more ignorant than he feels comfortable with.
Artist: Spuddoc

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Chapter 01

“Damn it!”

TK flinched, not just because of Tommy’s unusually sharp tone but also because of the loud clattering of clearly more than just one box of supplies hitting the floor. He turned and jumped out of the back of the ambulance.

Tommy stood in the middle of pure chaos, both rolling cabinets they used to transport their supplies from the storage room to the ambulance for restocking fallen over, more than half the drawers and everything that had been inside them scattered around her. Her shoulders were drawn up tight and she had one hand pressed against her eyes.

“Are you alright?” TK asked.

“Do I look as if I’m alright?” Tommy snapped. She inhaled deeply and shook her head. “I’m sorry, that was out of line. I’m not hurt.”

Nancy reached for the carts and righted them. “Let’s clean this mess up, Cap. Between the three of us, that can’t take much time. And then our shift is over.”

TK just smiled at Tommy and nodded before he dropped to his knees beside Nancy to help her line up the drawers so they could clearly see the labels.

Tommy sighed again. “I’m really sorry.” She squatted down where she stood and pushed everything around her a little farther away to make enough room for her to kneel. “Your shift ended ten minutes ago. You should already be halfway out of here.”

“You, too,” TK said softly. “I’m sure between the three of us, this won’t take longer than half an hour or so.”

“Thank you,” Tommy whispered.

“If there is anything you need help with,” Nancy started hesitantly, “you can ask us, you know?”

Tommy froze with her hand hovering in the air but didn’t say anything.

“I know we didn’t have the best start. And that Tim and I weren’t exactly welcoming at the beginning. But we got over that, right?” Nancy sounded hesitant and dejected, and as always sad whenever Tim was mentioned.

TK bit his lip. He had played his own part in creating tension on their team when he had made the move from firefighter to paramedic. He thought he had corrected his course, but now he wondered how much his behavior still lingered in Nancy’s thoughts.

“We have,” Tommy said softly.

They fell silent for a little while, each focusing on resolving the chaos right in front of them. TK felt uneasy about the silence. Eventually, he sat back on his heels with a huff.

“You have been out of it for the whole shift, Cap,” he said, watching Tommy intently. “Is there anything we can do to help you?”

Tommy shook her head. “No. It’s nothing anyone can help with. I’m sorry for my mood.”

“Sometimes just talking about it helps,” Nancy said.

Tommy laughed, though it sounded more startled than anything else. “I’ll have to remember that you’ll use my own words against me, Nancy!”

Nancy shrugged. “You were right.”

Tommy sighed and lowered her gaze. “Charles is having brain surgery in three hours.”

“What?” TK asked, sure he had to have misheard.

“What are you still doing here?” Nancy said. “Get out of here and to the hospital! Or home to take him to the hospital!”

Tommy shook her head. “I’m not allowed in the hospital. I won’t even be able to visit him until he is discharged. My job is too high risk.”

TK nodded grimly. “Is this because of his accident the other week? I thought he wasn’t injured.”

“He wasn’t,” Tommy said. “Our car is totaled, but Charles wasn’t injured. They did a CAT scan, though, to make sure there were no spinal injuries in his neck. They saw something else on the edge of the images that worried them, did another scan of his head and … found an aneurysm.”

“Oh.” Nancy exhaled and grabbed TK’s arm, her hand shaking.

“It’s all good!” Tommy said hurriedly. “It’s good that they found it. Better than if it had gone undetected and then just…” She shook her head and wiped tears from her eyes.

“But it’s still brain surgery,” TK said softly with a sad smile. “Of course you are worried.”

Tommy inhaled deeply.

“Where are your girls?” Nancy asked.

“At school now. And then they’ll spend the next week with my parents. My sister is visiting them right now, so she’ll mostly take care of the girls. It will be a great adventure for them. Kind of like being on vacation despite being in school for most of the day.”

“Do they know?” TK asked.

Tommy shook her head. “They know their dad will be in the hospital for a couple of days. But we haven’t told them what kind of treatment he is undergoing. We didn’t want them to…” Tommy closed her eyes. “Charles has a very experienced surgeon. There is no reason to believe there will be any complications, so we don’t want the girls to worry.”

“But you are still worrying,” Nancy said.

“Of course I’m worrying!” Tommy hissed. “It’s brain surgery!”

Nancy turned her head to look at TK with a question in her eyes. He wasn’t exactly sure what she was asking, but whatever her idea was to help Tommy, he’d be all in, so he nodded.

“When we are done here TK and I are taking you out for breakfast,” Nancy said.

“That’s really not…”

“We aren’t leaving you alone to worry about Charles by yourself,” TK said. “We can stay with you until the hospital calls. They will be calling you when the surgery is done, right?”

Tommy nodded. “Yes.”

“Then it’s decided,” Nancy said. “I also already know where we’ll go. Let’s take care of all of this. We have all earned ourselves a good breakfast after last night’s shift!”

TK took the hint and started complaining about the stupidity of hetero men because their most ridiculous call of the night had been a guy sticking his dick where it didn’t belong. It was by far the best call they’d had in a while to use as a distraction for Tommy, and TK knew that Nancy and Tommy shared his opinion about these kinds of calls and would happily join him in his complaints. They’d also freely share similar calls they’d had in the past which always managed to lighten the mood.

An hour after their shift should have ended, TK, Nancy, and Tommy sat down in a cafe not too far from Nancy’s apartment. Nancy was greeted by name and ordered to take her usual table. She also got a huge pot of coffee when the waitress came around to their table to hand out menus.

“You come here often, huh?” Tommy asked amused.

Nancy shrugged. “I’m not really good at cooking for myself.”

“You haven’t served anything yet that wasn’t edible when you were on kitchen duty during a shift,” TK said with raised brows.

“I said for myself.” Nancy rolled her eyes. “I can cook just fine. But doing it just for me always feels strange. My roommate is a nurse, so when she is on shift while I’m home, I prefer to let others cook for me. We cook together when we are both home at the same time.”

“What feels strange about cooking for yourself?” TK asked curiously and also a little confused.

Nancy sighed. “Just feels like a lot of work with no purpose at all, you know? I don’t know. I just don’t like it.”

“Charles is horrible at cooking for himself, too,” Tommy said with a smile while she studied the menu. “When he is at the restaurant, he’s learned to make a double portion of something that’s been ordered to put one portion aside for himself. And at home he has us to cook for. Thankfully, Izzy and Evie know to ask for something they know their dad likes from time to time so he gets to eat his own favorites regularly, too.”

“It’s great that he could make his passion his job,” TK said. “You are reopening the restaurant soon, right?”

“In five weeks,” Tommy said with a bright smile. She had been talking about it off and on since they had started to prepare for it, and TK knew no one at the 126 had missed how excited she was for it.

They were interrupted by the waitress returning and taking their orders. Again, Nancy wasn’t even asked what she wanted, and she just grinned and shrugged when TK looked at her with raised brows.

“It’s one reason why Charles decided to have the surgery as soon as possible,” Tommy continued quietly, staring at the table. “This way he should be recovered in time. And we were lucky that the surgeon had an unexpected opening in his schedule.” She cleared her throat. “I’m glad he decided for the surgery in the end.”

“Did he contemplate not doing it?” Nancy asked worriedly.

Tommy nodded slowly. “For a couple of days. But I’ve had nightmares every night since we learned about it. Of coming home one day to find him dead. Laying in our bed. Sitting in the armchair. Collapsed in the kitchen.”

TK reached over the table to take Tommy’s shaking hands and squeeze them reassuringly. “But he is getting surgery and that means that won’t happen!”

Tommy smiled at him forlornly. “I hope so.”

“He knows what he is fighting for,” Nancy said. “I’m sure he’ll get through today just fine.”

Tommy inhaled deeply and pulled her hands back. “You brought me here to distract me! So, distract me! What’s going on in your lives?”

“Tomorrow evening will be the family dinner from hell,” TK said darkly.

Nancy snorted. “Why is that?”

“Carlos’ parents and my dad are coming over to our place to have dinner with us,” TK said darkly. “And after everything, I really can’t see that ending in anything other than some kind of catastrophe!”

“And what is everything here?” Tommy asked. “Are you and Carlos having trouble?”

TK shrugged uncomfortably and trailed his fingers over a scratch on the table. After a moment of contemplation, he explained how Carlos and he had run into the Reyeses at the farmer’s market.

It was painful to have to repeat it. It still hurt that Carlos hadn’t introduced him as his boyfriend, though not for the same reasons anymore. TK wished he would have reacted differently, wouldn’t have fought with Carlos about it no matter how painful it had been to be introduced as a coworker.

“When we were taken hostage, Carlos’ father was there at the end, right?” Tommy asked. “He didn’t seem to be exactly surprised by how Carlos treated you.”

TK shrugged. “I think Carlos’ relationship with his parents is very complicated. And I probably have no chance of understanding it at all. My parents are … I mean, they aren’t great at a lot of things on the parenting front. But I never even for one moment thought that coming out to them would be a bad idea.”

“You have a lot of luck with your parents,” Nancy said. “It’s still not the norm to be just accepted by one’s parents when one comes out to them.”

“I know,” TK said with a huff. “I’ve always known that. I just didn’t expect … I mean, how can you pretend to accept your child and then just make them feel they aren’t allowed to share such an important part of their life with you?”

“I think there are a lot of people, especially of my generation and older, who have no idea what reaction would be acceptable or how to ask about it.”

Nancy huffed. “If Izzy or Evie ever come out to you, just keep doing all the same things you’d have done if they introduce a boyfriend to you.”

Tommy raised her brows. “Okay.”

“No, I mean it!” Nancy said. “There is no difference for me if I bring a man or a woman home to my parents to introduce as my partner. The difference is all in how my parents react to that. They say all the right things, of course. And pretend to be okay with it. But whenever I’ve introduced them to a woman, they completely dismissed our relationship. Acted as if she was just a friend, like how’d they treat you or TK. Kept calling her my friend. Whenever I introduced a boyfriend to them, they were all over him, doting on him, telling me how perfect he was even when I knew they hated him. But any man is still better than a woman, right?”

TK made a face. “Ouch.”

“Have you talked with them about it?” Tommy asked.

“Yeah, of course.” Nancy sighed and shrugged. “They told me I was seeing things that weren’t there. I just don’t introduce anyone to them anymore. But I also tell everyone I’m dating why they probably won’t get introduced to my parents as long as we don’t decide to put a ring on it. Carlos didn’t tell you about any problems with his parents.”

TK frowned. “That’s not exactly true. I mean, he barely sees them. He did tell me he had never introduced a partner to them before. I just didn’t understand that that would lead to him introducing me as a coworker if we ever crossed paths with them by chance.”

“And that hurt you,” Tommy said.

“Of course it did,” TK murmured. “But now it hurts more to know how insecure he feels in his relationship with his parents. At first I thought he didn’t feel secure with me, but in the end, it has nothing to do with me or our relationship, does it?” He turned his head to look at Nancy, because she was the one who clearly had the best idea of how Carlos might be feeling.

Nancy shrugged. “From my experience? It really doesn’t. I don’t trust my parents to treat any partner fairly. That’s something I don’t want to subject my partner or myself to. So, I just avoid the whole thing.”

“That’s sad but also very understandable,” Tommy said.

“You see now why I’m not looking forward to tomorrow?” TK said bitterly. “And I have no idea what to expect from Dad either. Because he is bored out of his mind and that’s never a good thing.”

“He did expect to be able to come back to work much sooner.” Tommy laughed.

“Don’t try to force a good impression with them,” Nancy said. “Be yourself. Be the man Carlos fell in love with. Because that’s the man they need to accept, right? And don’t be angry at Carlos for anything his parents do. It’s not his fault if they are assholes.”

“I’ll do my best,” TK said, chuckling nervously. He wished the whole evening would already be over with because somehow, he couldn’t see it going well at all.

***

Carlos had never felt very comfortable about being called into his captain’s office, but over the past couple of weeks, his anxiety about it had grown rapidly. Sitting in an interrogation room for making a decision he had known would be questioned was one thing, but being interrogated by his own father over it had thrown Carlos for a loop he hadn’t expected.

“Sit down, son,” Kendricks said when Carlos hovered behind the chairs.

Carlos cleared his throat and followed the instructions.

“There is no reason for you to be this nervous,” Kendricks said.

Carlos shrugged, not for the first time cursing the fact that his captain was a man who had known him since he had been a baby. At one point Kendricks and Gabriel had been very close friends, and Carlos had a lot of memories of the two families spending time together.

Carlos knew it was no coincidence that he had ended up with Kendricks as his captain. He had known that people his father knew would maneuver around him if he joined the APD, believing they were doing him and his father a favor. Staying in Austin meant that this was something he couldn’t escape.

As long as Carlos didn’t stumble over blatant favoritism, he just shrugged it off and tried not to let it influence his performance on the job. He couldn’t change that people knew his father and made assumptions about him because of that. Kendricks was at least a captain Carlos knew he could trust not to treat him unfairly in either direction, so he hadn’t protested his placement.

Since the case of the bank robbery and the bombers, Carlos had started to wonder if he had been mistaken in his assumptions about Kendricks.

Kendricks watched him for a little while before he asked with a sigh, “How are you?”

Carlos shrugged. “I’m fine, Sir. But I’m sure you didn’t ask me here for small talk.”

Kendricks chuckled. “No. The investigation about the handling of the bank robbery and the subsequent abduction of the paramedic team has been closed.”

Carlos drew his shoulders back and inhaled deeply. “Okay.” He didn’t know what to expect, but he hadn’t believed for a moment this would end with anything else but a reprimand for him. The waiting had been the worst, especially as he didn’t know why the investigation had gone on for so long.

“I already told you there was nothing you needed to be worried about,” Kendricks said. He watched Carlos with a frown, clearly unhappy about his reaction.

Carlos huffed. “And we both know that the outcome wasn’t your decision, Cap. Just rip the band-aid off.”

Kendricks shook his head and pushed an open file over the table in Carlos’ direction. “You made the right call with the robbery. The investigation came to the same conclusion. And you weren’t on duty when you learned your partner had been abducted. You are scheduled to attend a couple of seminars about different aspects of that situation, but there won’t even be a note in your file about that.”

Carlos blinked in surprise and pulled the file over when Kendricks nodded at it. It was open to a page of the final report detailing his involvement in the case, and Carlos had to read it twice before he could comprehend that his captain was right.

“I don’t understand,” Carlos said confused.

“What did you expect?”

Carlos shrugged and put the file back down on the table. He was burning to read the rest of it, but he wasn’t sure if Kendricks should have shown him even this part.

“Be honest with me, Carlos. We have known each other for a long time.”

“Are you my captain right now or my father’s friend?” Carlos asked darkly.

Kendricks sighed and leaned forward. “In this room, in this building, I’m always your captain. Whenever either of us is in uniform, I will always be your captain.”

“Did you call my father when all this started?” Carlos asked. He hadn’t dared to ask that question before, fearing the answer after his father hadn’t really answered it at the beginning of his interrogation. But now he felt he needed to know the answer no matter how much that answer might hurt.

“No. In fact, I protested him questioning you. I told Gabriel it was a dumb idea, and before that I had very explicitly requested that someone other than Gabriel should be sent here.”

Carlos cleared his throat as the knot deep in his gut loosened. “Thank you.”

“I wonder sometimes if it’s the best choice for your career to stay in Austin,” Kendricks said. “But I know, of course, why you never contemplated joining another department.”

“I like working here,” Carlos said. As strained as his relationship with his parents and even most of his extended family was since he had come out, he still couldn’t imagine moving away from them.

“What did you expect the outcome of the investigation to be?”

“A reprimand of some kind.” Carlos shrugged. “I knew the consequences when I let the man go.” And when TK, Nancy, and Tommy had been abducted by the bombers, he truly hadn’t thought or cared about any consequences of ignoring his father’s orders. He hadn’t cared after the fact either.

“Personally, I think that was the only decision you could make,” Kendricks said. “The regulations may say otherwise, and people higher up the chain of command who haven’t been out on the streets for probably longer than you have been alive might not agree either. But if any of my officers were in a situation like you were in again, I’d hope they’d follow your example.”

Carlos blinked, overwhelmed for a moment by the unexpected praise.

“I hope you will follow your gut in the future,” Kendricks said. “But I’m glad to know you are aware you might get in trouble for it, even if you always make the right decision with it. I’m three years away from mandatory retirement, and I can’t even promise you that you won’t get a new captain before that.”

“Did you influence the investigation?”

Kendricks laughed. “You are very suspicious of this whole situation, son. No, I did not. And neither did your father.”

Carlos couldn’t stop himself from snorting and muttering under his breath, “Yeah, I wouldn’t have come away scot-free if he had.”

Kendricks sighed and watched him with a sad smile. “As your captain, I could have still reprimanded you for either situation long before this investigation was over. And I can’t promise you that you won’t end up with some asshole as your supervisor at some point. Or someone who holds a grudge against Gabriel and will make you pay for it.”

“I was aware of all these things when I joined the APD.”

“I wish the situation could be different, but I’m glad you are aware of it.”

“Can you tell me why the investigation took so long to come to a conclusion?” Carlos asked.

Kendricks sighed and leaned back, folding his hands on his stomach. “Under the condition it doesn’t leave this room.”

“Yes, of course.”

“They were taking a very thorough look at Gabriel and his involvement in your questioning,” Kendricks said.

Carlos frowned. “Really? When I talked to someone from the union, I was told to keep my mouth shut about it. That making waves would end worse for me than anyone else.”

Kendricks cleared his throat. “And you didn’t come to me with that concern because you didn’t know if my being friends with Gabriel would outweigh being your captain.”

Carlos just shrugged.

“It always will, son,” Kendricks said, leaning forward and staring at Carlos intently. “I asked for you to be placed here because I knew I could handle that situation and I don’t trust many others to be fair to you. I thought — assumed — you would know that about me, too.”

“I do. Did.” Carlos rubbed his fingers over his eyes. “I started questioning a lot of things I thought I knew when I was being interrogated by my own father.”

“I understand that,” Kendricks said darkly. “There were others who put forward complaints about it. People who were expecting favoritism. That part didn’t have much to do with you personally, because I made sure from the very beginning it was noted everywhere that you didn’t know you had stumbled into one of your father’s cases.”

Carlos thought he shouldn’t be surprised about that, but for some reason he was. Whoever had made that complaint clearly didn’t know Gabriel at all. Carlos didn’t even trust his father enough not to use a situation like this to try to get him out of the job he was so convinced Carlos was unsuited for.

“I’d like to ask a favor,” Carlos said.

Kendricks raised his brows, waiting silently.

“If at all possible, I’d prefer not to cross paths with my father again in a professional setting,” Carlos said. “I’m aware there might be situations with big investigations or emergencies where that can’t be avoided, but those should be rare.”

Kendricks nodded slowly.

“I especially don’t want to be in a position where he assumes he has any professional authority over me,” Carlos continued. “He shouldn’t anyway because we work for two different organizations, but we both know that he and his colleagues will expect otherwise.”

Kendricks chuckled. “They do.”

Carlos shrugged and waited.

“I’ll do my best,” Kendricks said. “I might be overruled again, though. I will have your back if any Ranger oversteps their boundaries with you, Officer Reyes, whether it be Gabriel or someone else.”

“Thank you.” Carlos exhaled slowly, feeling a weight lift from his chest that had grown steadily heavier since the moment he had understood that his father wasn’t there to support him but to interrogate him.

“You have half an hour before you are scheduled to start patrol. If you are caught up with your paperwork, use that time for a break. Make sure Mitchell takes a break, too!”

“Yes, Sir,” Carlos said and inclined his head. He stood but hesitated before he turned around to leave. “Thank you, again. I appreciate having you has my captain very much.”

Kendricks nodded and waved a hand in the direction of the door. Carlos nodded back with a small grin and left the office.

He went to search for Lexi, and it didn’t take much to convince her to join him on a break before they headed to the garage. She was watching him anxiously, but she didn’t say anything until they sat on a bench halfway between the precinct and the bakery which had supplied them with coffee and pastries.

“Are you going to tell me or what?” Lexi said exasperatedly when Carlos started eating silently. “What did Cap want from you?”

“To talk about the conclusion of the internal investigation concerning the whole mess with the robbery and the bombers.”

Lexi made a face. “Right. I’m sorry I didn’t have your back, you know?”

Carlos turned to watch her with raised brows. “You supported my decision despite disagreeing with it. You call that not having my back?”

“I questioned you in front of the suspect. And when we came back and had to answer questions, I threw you under the bus to save my own skin. Despite … I thought you were right when we faced off against that guy. The way that bomb was strapped to him, the way he looked at us. But I thought it was more important to follow the rules and not get in trouble than to give that man a chance to survive.”

“It was pure luck he wasn’t killed by the people who had kidnapped him,” Carlos said. “And never stop questioning other’s decisions, especially a superior’s decision, Lexi. We are all just human and can make mistakes. And there is too much corruption that we have to deal with. Don’t let yourself be sucked into that by blindly following orders you full-heartedly don’t agree with.”

Lexi huffed.

“I mean it,” Carlos said emphatically.

“Yeah, I know. And I know you are right.”

“I was never angry with you for that situation,” Carlos said. “But thank you for your apology, I appreciate it.”

Lexi sighed. “So, what’s the verdict?”

“Nothing,” Carlos said. “Would have surely turned out very differently if it couldn’t have been proven the guy’s story was true or if it had turned out to be a lie. But it’s been decided I didn’t make any mistake.”

“You really didn’t,” Lexi whispered. “I saw the report about the things found in the bombers’ apartment after it burned down. If we had arrested that guy and put him in our car, all three of us would be dead.”

“We wouldn’t have put him in the car with the threat of him wearing a real bomb,” Carlos said. “We’d have cuffed him to the fence and waited for the bomb squad to arrive. The two of us would have ended up in mandatory therapy right now for witnessing that bomb go off.”

“Still a nightmare,” Lexi muttered.

“Very much so,” Carlos agreed. He knew he wouldn’t make any other decision if he were ever in a similar situation again.

“Speaking of the bombers, how is TK?” Lexi asked. “And his two teammates?”

“I’ve not had much contact with his captain, so I don’t know how she is doing. But Nancy and TK are dealing okay with the trauma of the whole situation.”

TK was still plagued by nightmares more often than not, but Carlos could already see an improvement there, had noticed that the nights TK slept through without any nightmares were getting more regular again. They would eventually get through it.

Nancy had spent a lot of time at their place since the abduction. Everything she and TK had been struggling with in their professional and interpersonal relationship before seemed to have just vanished, and Carlos wasn’t surprised about that. They helped each other deal with the experience of being held at gun point, and that kind of shared experience tended to forge strong bonds.

“And his concussion?”

Carlos shrugged uncomfortably. TK had been horribly out of it when Carlos and Owen had stormed into that hostage situation, and in retrospect, Carlos knew that he had allowed himself to be too distracted by that. He had followed his heart by running to TK, who had visibly been injured, when he should have made sure the suspect Owen had shot wouldn’t get up again, and more importantly couldn’t get back to his gun again.

In the end, TK’s injury hadn’t been as bad as Carlos had first expected, and Tommy had been in utter control of the situation. From everything TK and Nancy had said, she had been in control the whole time, even when a gun had been aimed at them and when the man they had been abducted to treat had shot his accomplice as soon as he had woken up.

Carlos sighed. “He healed fine. He was off work for a little over a week. Right now, he is complaining about his father being unable to take a little bit of sick leave without losing his mind. It’s really difficult not to point out to TK that he is exactly like his father in this.”

Lexi laughed. “What’s wrong with his dad?”

“Hopefully successfully treated lung cancer. He had surgery to remove the rest of it and is stuck at home now. We’ve entered the third week of it and Owen seems to become more anxious by the hour. Like a caged tiger just waiting to be let out so he can hunt down everyone who caged him.”

“At least you know what to expect if TK is ever grounded for more than a week,” Lexi said. “Gives you a chance to prepare and find things to distract him.”

“Believe me, I’ve already started making lists!”

“How are you with all of that?” Lexi asked softly. “It’s the second time in less than a year your boyfriend got in serious trouble on the job.”

“That’s the risk for any first responder, right?” Carlos said quietly. “Next time it could very well be me. I hate that it happened to him, and yes, part of me would like to keep him safe from everything, but I know that’s just not possible.”

“Jake hates when I get hurt on the job,” Lexi said. “It’s caused more than one argument already. But I also understand him because I’m very relieved he has a boring office job.”

“As long as he understands you, too,” Carlos said. He knew from experience that dating someone who wasn’t familiar with either the schedules or the risk of being a first responder could bring its own problems.

“He does,” Lexi assured. “And I’m grateful for that. Because I’m very sure I wouldn’t be able to deal with it if our roles were reversed. Hence why I asked about how you are dealing.”

“I’m good,” Carlos promised, grinning. He hadn’t been for a little while, but he was getting there.

Chapter 02

It felt as if a huge amount of tension left the house as TK closed the door behind their parents. Carlos stood in the middle of the living room, watching his father’s back until the very moment the door closed between them, and felt dread coil in his gut.

“That was strange, right?” TK asked. He turned and leaned against the door. For a moment Carlos thought he looked as if he was guarding the door.

“I didn’t imagine it then, huh?” Carlos muttered. He shook his head with a frown. “This might have been the worst idea either of us has ever had!”

TK chuckled. “I don’t know. Your mom is great.”

Carlos laughed and shrugged. “She was a surprise.”

She had been very open and friendly with both of them, and it hadn’t been some polite front either. Carlos didn’t even know the last time when he had felt this relaxed and accepted around her. His father, on the other hand, had been exactly as distant and openly skeptical of everything he laid his eyes on as Carlos had expected.

TK left his place at the door and grabbed Carlos’ hand on his way to the couch. “I think Andrea really wants to get to know me. And you again, too.”

“Right.” Carlos sighed and let TK push him down.

For a moment he stared at the two empty glasses left on the table with a frown before he forced himself to ignore them. They could put them away in the dishwasher later. Everything else had already been cleaned up because Andrea had insisted on helping. Somehow that had led to a very enjoyable and easy-going conversation between Carlos, his mother, and TK while they had cleaned up the kitchen and the dining area. It had been without question the best part of the whole evening.

“I know we already talked about meeting your parents back when it happened,” TK said softly, rubbing his thumb over Carlos’ knuckles. “I didn’t apologize then, and I think that was a mistake.”

Carlos frowned and scooted closer to TK. “We did already talk about that,” he agreed. He didn’t know if he wanted to revisit that conversation or even what there was to revisit about it.

TK sighed. “I think I got a new perspective on some things. I won’t apologize for getting upset because that would be disingenuous. It hurt to be dismissed by you in such a way. But I shouldn’t have lashed out the way I did, and that’s the part I am sorry about. I should have given you a chance to tell me what was going on in your head.”

“TK…” Carlos whispered forlornly.

But TK shook his head and pressed a finger against Carlos’ lips. “Let me finish, please? Just let me get through this. I’ve been trying to find the right words for a while now. And then Nancy said something yesterday that I think finally gave me the right perspective.”

Carlos nodded and smiled softly. He caught TK’s hand and held on tightly. He could only hope that it would be enough to soothe TK’s nerves. And his own.

“I don’t remember a time when my parents didn’t fight,” TK continued, and Carlos raised his brows in surprise. TK shrugged and chuckled. “I don’t know anymore why I even wanted them to be together again. But seeing them together again these last few months, and now also seeing it end again, showed me that I take after them in this more than I wanted to.”

TK sighed deeply and lowered his gaze. “After meeting your parents at the farmer’s market, I was hurt. And I lashed out in a way I knew would hurt you, too. Because I didn’t want to hurt alone. For that, I’m really sorry.”

Carlos leaned forward a little and had to bite his tongue to stop himself from saying anything. He wanted to pull TK in for a hug and reassure him that of course he accepted the apology. But that wasn’t what TK had asked of him.

“I probably can’t promise to never do it again,” TK said quietly. “But I do promise to do my best not to do it again. I don’t want to be like my parents. I don’t want our relationship to be like the one my parents had.”

Carlos nodded and smiled reassuringly when TK looked up and hesitantly returned that smile.

“So, yes.” TK blew out a breath. “Next time I’ll give you time to explain your point of view. Though, I’d appreciate it if you weren’t … I mean, I didn’t exactly tell you that I was angry until we were home. But the way you reacted here felt so very dismissive of my own feelings, and maybe that was only because I was already in that headspace. But I’d appreciate it if you didn’t do that again.”

Carlos nodded once more, a lump forming in his throat. Looking back at the drive home after the farmer’s market that day and their conversation before TK had left the house, Carlos had to agree with him. He had been so in his head about the turmoil meeting his parents so unexpectedly while out with TK had caused that it had taken him far too long to recognize TK’s mood and the reason for it. And when he finally had caught on, he had unnecessarily mocked TK instead of taking him seriously.

When TK stayed silent, Carlos said, “Thank you. For apologizing, but also for bringing it up again. I think we need to learn to talk more about the things that hurt, too.”

TK swallowed audibly and nodded.

“I’m sorry, too. And I can only give your own promise back to you. I’ll try my best not to get so wrapped up in my own head again that I don’t take in what you are saying to me.” Carlos pulled TK’s hands up and pressed a kiss against his knuckles. “I love you. And I want to work out how we can fit together so that we can spend the rest of our lives together.”

TK blushed and cleared his throat, lowering his gaze.

Carlos watched for a moment thoughtfully. TK wasn’t a big fan of talking about plans for anything more than a couple of weeks into the future. Carlos knew that was a reaction to being hurt in the past, so he was careful about bringing it up himself and never pushed too much. But he felt that TK deserved to know that Carlos was thinking far into the future for both of them.

“You said Nancy had given you a new perspective?” Carlos asked after a moment.

TK shrugged. “She said she doesn’t introduce any partner to her parents because she doesn’t want to subject her partner or herself to her parents’ antics.”

Carlos raised his brows. He didn’t quite understand how that had given TK any new insight into their fight.

TK sighed. “I think I was wrong when I said not introducing me to your parents was either about me or about us.” He chuckled sadly. “I mean, part of me probably wanted to find some fault in me so I wasn’t even contemplating anything else. But maybe it’s about them and not us at all. It’s your parents making you uncomfortable.”

“They do,” Carlos agreed and made a face. “They did today, too. But…” He trailed off with a shrug.

“But?” TK asked.

“You are the first man I ever gave a key to my house,” Carlos said. He wet his lips and looked down at their hands, still clasped together and lying in his lap. “I knew somewhere in the back of my mind that introducing you to my parents was something I’d need to deal with at some point. But I hadn’t even started to think about how to do that.”

“You sound like you wanted to have a battle plan ready,” TK said softly. “It’s so difficult for me to imagine that you’d have needed a plan for that. It’s not something I ever had to think about.”

Carlos chuckled mirthlessly. “Something like that. At least I felt that I needed to prepare myself to be rejected again.”

TK winced.

“They don’t go to that farmer’s market usually. I didn’t expect to run into them there.” Carlos blinked, because suddenly a thought popped up in his head that he hadn’t articulated quite so precisely ever before. “I thought I was safe there,” he muttered and swallowed when TK reacted with a wounded whine. “So, all I could think of when I saw them was ‘Not now, not now, not now!’”

“Why have you never talked about your parents with me?” TK asked. He pulled one hand away from Carlos’ tight grip to cup Carlos’ cheek with it. “You never even mentioned how estranged you are from them.”

“It hurts less to just not talk about them. I just kept them wholly separate from most of the rest of my life. I didn’t tell them anything about it, and in turn, I didn’t talk with anyone about them either.”

TK nodded slowly. “Did I pressure you to invite them today?”

Carlos looked up surprised. “What? No!”

TK shrugged. “Are you sure? Because I know I asked about your dad after Tommy, Nancy, and I got abducted. Because he saw us then.”

“You didn’t pressure me to invite them,” Carlos said. “And neither did my mother, though she did mention having dinner with us a couple of times. She’d have probably invited us sooner rather than later.”

“You aren’t obligated to see them, you know?” TK said softly. “If seeing them, inviting them here, or going to their place makes you uncomfortable, you don’t need to do that.”

Carlos sucked in a breath.

TK leaned forward and pressed a kiss against Carlos’s lips, then his forehead, and then his temple before carefully pulling him into a hug. Carlos allowed himself to fall into that embrace, and somehow, they ended up sprawled out on the couch, with Carlos mostly lying on top of TK and his face tucked away against TK’s throat.

“I once went two whole years without seeing either of them,” Carlos whispered.

“Really?” TK asked surprised.

Carlos sighed. “I went to college before joining the police academy. Got a BA.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“But it was always my plan to join the APD in the end. My parents missed that somehow, though I’m sure I talked with them about it. I was halfway done with my degree when I had a huge fight with them. I think Mamá truly would just prefer to see me in some office job without any kind of risk attached to it. Or maybe see me take an interest in the ranch and take that over at one point.”

TK huffed.

Carlos chuckled. “Yeah. I think she’d prefer if Dad was doing another job, too. But if she’s ever had such a discussion with him, I haven’t been around for it.”

“And your dad’s reasons to fight with you?” TK asked when Carlos didn’t continue.

Carlos huffed. “The same reasons he still repeats all too often. After it turned out I had been right about the robber, he told me right there in the middle of my workplace that I’d be too weak-hearted for the job I’m doing.”

“Bullshit,” TK muttered darkly. “If he truly thinks that, then he is the one in the wrong job.”

Carlos chuckled and snuggled closer to his boyfriend. They had talked about that conversation with his father before, and Carlos had very much enjoyed the half hour he had spent listening to TK ranting about his father’s words. Somehow, TK had managed to bring forward all the arguments to rip Gabriel’s words apart that Carlos had felt, too, but had been unable to articulate.

“Sometimes I think the worst part is that I have no idea if he always thought that about me, or if he thinks that now because he believes I shouldn’t be a police officer as a gay man. I … I’d prefer if it was the first. Because the second one would be proof of an ugly worldview I don’t want to have any part of.”

“Maybe you should ask him that,” TK said darkly. “I might just ask him that the next chance I get.”

Carlos blew out a breath. “I’m not sure I want to know the answer, honestly.”

TK sighed. “So, after that fight, you didn’t talk to your parents for two years?”

“Didn’t talk to them, didn’t see them, ignored Mamá’s phone calls. I wasn’t very happy with the situation, but I also didn’t know how to change it. Going back to talk to them again felt like having to apologize for practically everything in my life. I felt they should come to me.”

“Did they?” TK asked quietly.

“No. My sisters intervened eventually shortly after I finished the academy. They brought us together and we came to a sort of truce. It’s been weird, but I also … don’t want to go back to not talking to them.” Carlos swallowed heavily, and then he just went with the thought he had tried to push away whenever it had come up, “At least not with my mother. And if I meet with Mamá, I automatically need to have contact with my father, too.”

TK was silent for a long time while he rubbed soothing circles on Carlos’ back. Eventually, he said, “I don’t think that last part is necessarily true. Your parents exist as individuals, you don’t have to have a relationship with them as a single entity. But it’s also not something you need to figure out right away. Maybe you can concentrate on your relationship with your mother first and then see what’s going to happen with your dad.”

Carlos sighed and shrugged.

“I think your mom wants the same as you,” TK whispered. “She took me aside for a moment earlier, you know? Apologized again for calling me TJ. She said she shouldn’t have targeted me when she wanted to poke at you. And that she shouldn’t have poked at you at all. She seemed to be very ashamed of herself and I believed her.”

Carlos raised his head to look at TK. “Really?”

TK nodded and carded his fingers through Carlos’ hair. “Yes, really. I hope she’ll apologize to you the same she did to me. I told her you deserved to hear it, too.”

Carlos blinked several times, then he rested his head on TK’s shoulder again. It would be great to hear it from his mother in person, but he already felt so much lighter now because she had said it to TK. Maybe there was hope for his relationship with her to become better again, to not be as estranged from her as he had been over the past decade.

For a little while they lay on the couch in silence and Carlos basked in just being this way with TK. Before TK, he had never imagined that he would be able to have this. He hadn’t even been sure he wanted it, wanted to invite someone to live with him, share his life with him in more ways than just an occasional date or a holiday together.

“What was up with our dads, though?” TK asked after a long time.

“What was up with your dad in the first place?” Carlos asked with a frown. “He was really late. And did his clothes smell like smoke?”

“They did, even if he tried to deny it,” TK said. “He’s been acting strange for a couple of days. Why did they sneak out of the house and then pretend Dad had shown Gabriel the backyard? What did they need to talk about that we weren’t supposed to hear?”

Carlos sighed. “I have no idea. And I’m not sure I want to know. I mean, your dad wouldn’t agree to any kind of plot to break us up, would he?”

TK laughed, startled. “No. He’d have already told me if he thought I shouldn’t date you. He’d have protested at the very latest when I moved in. He is very open about that kind of disapproval.”

“Then I really don’t care what they are up to,” Carlos muttered sleepily.

***

TK grabbed his phone and grinned when he saw Enzo’s name on the display. He accepted the call and dropped the book he had been reading on his chest.

“Hey, Papa,” TK greeted warmly.

Enzo chuckled in his ear. “I’m not disturbing you, am I?”

“I’m not on shift today.”

“Yes, I know. I always transfer the schedules you send me into my calendar. But your life isn’t just work, son.”

TK felt warmth bloom in his chest. His relationship with Enzo had always been different from that with his father or his mother. Owen liked to claim that was because Enzo wasn’t really a parent for TK, and he had long ago given up that argument. His father’s opinion didn’t change anything about how TK and Enzo felt about each other, though it had taken some time for TK to learn that lesson.

“You are right. Part of my life is also a gorgeous boyfriend who should have a free day today. But he was asked to come into HR for a short meeting about scheduling some classes he needs to take. So, for the moment I’m sadly all alone at home and have all the time in the world to talk to you.”

Enzo laughed. “I hope it’s nothing bad Carlos has to deal with?”

“Don’t worry,” TK said. “How are you?”

Enzo sighed. “Can’t we talk about you, instead?”

TK bit his lip with a frown, but he let that go for a little while and started talking about having Carlos’ parents and his own father over for dinner the previous evening. Now that he had talked through some of his thoughts about Carlos’ relationship with his parents with Carlos himself, he finally shared those thoughts with Enzo as well. It was nice to get some more feedback from someone who was completely disconnected from the situation.

Eventually, TK said, “But honestly, Papa. How are you?”

“I’m fine, son,” Enzo said softly. “There is no reason for you to worry about me.”

“I do worry,” TK said softly. “I’m so sorry about you and Mom. And this whole mess with her pregnancy.”

It was still difficult for TK to wrap his head around the fact that Enzo was the baby’s father instead of Owen, and that his mother had ever been in a position where she didn’t know who the father was. It wasn’t a behavior he had ever expected from his mother.

“It’s not your responsibility to feel bad about either of your parents’ behavior, TK. Not your mother’s, not Owen’s, and not mine. Gwyn and I are finding a way to deal with the situation. We’ll find a way to co-parent your little brother.”

“Are you looking forward to becoming a dad?” TK asked. It was the first time since Gwyn had left Austin that Enzo didn’t evade that topic.

“I’ve been a dad for a long time,” Enzo said, and TK could practically hear his raised brows. “It will be a challenge, of course, to care for a baby. You were already a preteen when I got that role in your life.”

TK smiled so wide that his cheeks hurt.

“Actually, there is something I wanted to talk about with you,” Enzo said softly. “Because … that’s at least an eighteen-year commitment to care for someone and neither your mother nor I are exactly young anymore.”

TK sat up abruptly and his book fell to the ground with a loud thud. “What are you talking about?”

“There is a lot to worry about with a pregnancy and a child,” Enzo said. “And I think your mother might not have thought all of that completely through. She is very excited for another child. Which is a little bit surprising, honestly.”

TK huffed. “I used to beg for a little sibling and never got one!” His mother had always told him she didn’t want to share him with anyone, but as he had gotten older TK had at one point understood that she just didn’t want to go through another pregnancy. “Believe me, I know how unbelievable it is that now I’m getting a sibling in my late twenties!”

Enzo snorted. “You’re still in your mid-twenties, don’t pretend!”

TK rolled his eyes but grinned and didn’t argue the point. “What are you worried about?”

“What aren’t I worried about?” Enzo sighed. “Your mother is 51 years old. The risks for her alone…” He sighed again. “I haven’t told her this yet. And I would ask you not to tell her until after your brother is born.”

“Okay,” TK murmured hesitantly.

“If I had been involved in the decision-making process Owen and Gwyn made after she learned about the pregnancy, I would have argued for a termination. I would not have wanted to bear these risks for her or the baby. I support her, of course, and I’d have supported her even if she had made the same decisions despite my worries. But I would have voiced them.”

TK rubbed his fingers over his eyes. “Yeah. You are right, I don’t think she thought about much of that at all. Not in-depth, at least. But she is doing fine, right? You’d tell me if there was anything wrong?”

“I promise you, I wouldn’t keep that kind of secret even if Gwyn asked me to,” Enzo said. “Gwyn and the baby are both doing fine. She has more regular check-ups than is usual because her doctor here is worried, too, but so far they are both doing fine.”

TK exhaled in relief. “Good.”

When he had asked his mother about the risks, she had just waved him away and told him not to worry. That she knew what she was getting into because she had already gone through it once. And Owen had just scoffed about TK’s worries, but that wasn’t new or surprising.

“But as I said, once your brother is born, there are at least eighteen more years where he will be dependent on us. And your mother and I are both of an age where we have to accept that we might not have eighteen years left.”

TK sucked in a breath. Since Owen’s cancer diagnosis, he had become very aware of how likely it was to have to say goodbye to either of his parents for the last time much too soon. His father was thankfully in the last part of his recovery. But that didn’t mean the cancer couldn’t come back. That didn’t mean that any of his three parents wouldn’t be faced with another illness at one point that might take them away. Ideally, they all should still be there thirty years down the road, but there was no promise for that.

“I don’t want to worry or stress your mother, so I haven’t talked with her about it yet,” Enzo said. “But as soon as your brother is born, we need to take some precautions.”

TK cleared his throat. “What kind of precautions?” He leaned forward to pick up his book and put it on the table just so that he had something to do.

“We need someone to step in to take care of your brother in case something happens to us. And that might not even be death but something that would make us physically unable to keep up with a child,” Enzo said. “I wouldn’t want to hold my son back if I was suddenly for any reason trapped in a bed.”

TK waited for anything more, but Enzo kept silent. Eventually, TK asked, “And you think I’d be a good choice for that? Really?”

“I know you already love him,” Enzo said. “And yes, I think one day you’ll be a really good parent. Hopefully not for your brother, but in case it’s ever needed, it would be a relief to know you’ll be there.”

“Papa…” TK whispered, feeling lost.

“I’m not asking you to decide anything yet. And I won’t be either mad or disappointed if you tell me I should find someone else to put first on that list of possible guardians.”

TK exhaled slowly. “Okay.”

“But I want you to think about it. And talk with your Carlos about it. Because I really hope for you that the two of you will be a package deal for a long time to come. For long after your brother will be able to stand on his own.”

“I’m not…”

Enzo laughed. “You moved in with Carlos. You’ve never lived together with a boyfriend before.”

TK shrugged. At least Enzo didn’t bring up Alex as Owen had done, asking why it hadn’t made him wonder that he had wanted to ask Alex to marry him before he had ever lived with him. His father never noticed when he was just poking a wound even more.

“I told you, I’m not discussing this with Gwyn before your brother is born. We both know how she is, and I want her to concentrate on her health. Might be a little heavy-handed to handle it this way, but that’s also an argument I’m willing to fight out with her later.”

TK chuckled. “Yeah. She’ll accuse you of taking her agency away, of making decisions for her.”

Enzo huffed. “I’m making decisions for myself. And this decision is that I won’t knowingly cause an argument with her during a high-risk pregnancy.”

“Mom didn’t want to talk about any worries I had anyway, so I can promise you it won’t come up when I talk with her,” TK said.

“Will you think about it?” Enzo asked.

“Yeah, of course. But I don’t even know how I’ll manage to get to know my brother,” TK said. “The three of you will be in New York, and I’m building a life here in Austin. I … don’t really want to come back to New York either. And even if it was a possibility for me, I don’t think it would be for Carlos.”

“But you can visit. And we can visit you.”

“I guess,” TK muttered.

“And we can have video calls with your brother. From early on so he’ll be familiar with your voice and your face,” Enzo said. “It will be a little bit more work, but I promise you, you will have a relationship with him. He will know you as his brother and as a person he can turn to if he needs help.”

TK bit his lip and blinked the tears in his eyes away. “Yeah?”

“Of course,” Enzo said softly.

“I can’t even imagine how that will go.”

“Coming to you for the first couple of years probably won’t be so easy,” Enzo admitted. “I already have nightmares about boarding a flight with a baby or toddler.”

TK laughed wetly.

“But I’m not above gifting you and Carlos plane tickets every other month so that you can come here for a weekend. Or whenever you both can manage to get a couple of days off in a row at the same time.”

“That’s a lot of money, Papa.”

Enzo huffed dismissively. “Money that I have, so don’t start any arguments. I’ll even pay for your hotel and no arguments there either! And as soon as your brother is old enough that flying with him won’t be one huge nightmare anymore, we’ll come to visit you regularly, too.”

“That sounds amazing,” TK said. “I’m really looking forward to being a big brother, you know? Even if the huge age gap will be a little awkward.”

“Despite everything, I’m looking forward to not missing the first eleven or so years this time around,” Enzo said softly.

“How are you going to handle the co-parenting?” TK asked.

He knew Gwyn and Enzo weren’t getting back together, which was mostly Enzo’s decision. And he had long grown out of the age to argue with his parents over getting back together like he had done when Owen had moved out.

“We are looking for a new apartment,” Enzo said. “Or for two adjourning apartments that we can buy and then create a door between on the inside. So that we’ll both have our own private space without shuffling your brother from one apartment to the other. He should have one place he calls home.”

“You think you can live together like that?”

“I know we can. Gwyn and I don’t have the same charged-up relationship she has with Owen. I don’t know what it is, but your father has always brought out some very bad sides of her. And I think it’s the same the other way around.”

“Yeah,” TK agreed darkly. He had somehow forgotten all about that until Gwyn had moved in with him and Owen.

“But let me tell you, looking for an apartment is the worst!” Enzo said and launched into a long-winded complaint about the housing market in New York and the audacity of real estate agents.

TK laughed and put his feet up on the table, interrupting Enzo’s rant only sporadically. This was a much better way to wait for Carlos to come back than trying to read while his thoughts kept wandering back to the strange behavior of Owen and Gabriel the evening before.

Chapter 03

“Carlos!”

He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply before turning to his father. Carlos had expected not to be able to avoid him the whole time he was at the precinct, but he had expected to keep his distance a little longer than the five minutes he had been back from his patrol.

“Major Reyes,” Carlos said stiffly.

He had learned his lesson. As long as either of them was in uniform or wore a badge, the man in front of him was not his father. Carlos would treat him accordingly, forcing the professional distance required if necessary because Gabriel clearly didn’t care for that line.

Gabriel raised his brows, his expression a mixture of surprise and bewilderment.

Carlos sighed. “How can I help you, Sir?”

“We arrested Captain Owen Strand of the 126 half an hour ago on suspicion of being the arsonist we’ve been hunting for weeks.”

Carlos’ mouth dropped open and it took him several seconds to recover his composure. “Really?” he asked, unable to keep his disbelief out of his voice.

Gabriel nodded. “Someone should inform fire station 126 about the events. Before the rumors reach them and we have a riot on our hands.”

Carlos thought such a ‘riot’ might be justified as there was no chance Owen could be the arsonist. But he wouldn’t get into that, so he kept looking at Gabriel silently and motionless.

Gabriel stared for nearly a minute before he huffed. “You have your orders, Officer.”

Carlos’ first reaction was to laugh incredulously, and he bit his tongue hard to keep that laughter back. Before he could come up with a reply, though, another man came up the hall from behind Gabriel.

“Reyes!” he called out.

Carlos didn’t move and didn’t react because he knew he wasn’t the one being called. He had seen the man around the precinct a lot over the last couple of weeks. He was the arson investigator for the case Owen had just been arrested in. The man wasn’t based out of Austin but he had set up camp here because the last couple of fires had all been in the greater metro area. Carlos just regretted he had chosen this precinct over any other place in the whole city to work out of.

Gabriel turned around and the arson investigator stopped a couple of feet away. He leveled a judgmental look at Carlos, something he was used to and usually let go if there weren’t words or actions following.

“I believe we have an interrogation to get to,” the arson investigator said and nodded to the door of the interrogation room they stood in front of.

“Of course,” Gabriel said with such false friendliness that Carlos barely refrained from raising his brows in surprise. Gabriel gestured the other man to the door and followed him through it, turning around to Carlos again just before closing the door. “You know what to do, Officer.”

Carlos exhaled slowly and turned on his heels. He ignored Lexi who was staring at him with a deep frown and stalked off in the direction of his captain’s office.

“This isn’t the way to the car,” Lexi said as she followed him, but it didn’t really sound like a complaint.

Carlos rolled his eyes despite knowing she wouldn’t see it. He didn’t explain his thoughts, but Lexi still followed him all the way to Kendricks’ office and didn’t say anything for the five minutes they waited in front of it until Kendricks called them inside.

“Officers Reyes and Mitchell,” Kendricks drawled without offering them a seat. “Shouldn’t both of you be neck-deep in writing reports? You are both a little behind on that if my memory serves me right.”

“We should,” Carlos agreed. “But certain Texas rangers don’t care for the chain of command or proper protocol. I thought it would be best to inform you right away about that problem.”

Kendricks sighed. “What did Gabriel do?”

“I’m sure you are aware that there was an arrest concerning the arsonist case.”

“Of course.” Kendricks leaned back and raised his brows. “As you requested, I kept you off the rooster for that arrest as it’s Gabriel’s case.”

Carlos blinked, thrown for a loop for a moment. He cleared his throat. “I appreciate that very much, Sir. The so-called suspect who was arrested is Captain Owen Strand of the AFD. Incidentally, the father of my boyfriend. All the more reason for me not to be anywhere near that situation.”

Kendricks’ brows rose even higher. “So-called suspect?”

Carlos sighed. “I saw a list of the times and locations of the fires suspected to be caused by the same individual.”

Kendricks nodded and waved a hand, signaling Carlos to go on.

“Owen recently underwent surgery as a last step of his cancer treatment. One of the fires took place on the evening of his surgery and another one three days later, which was his second to last day in the hospital. I have no idea how the investigators missed that fact, but it’s not my case and none of my business. I’m sure they’ll notice at some point. Or Owen’s lawyer will tell them.”

Telling his father about it directly would’ve meant stepping right into the investigation, which was the last thing Carlos wanted to do. But he still thought pointing it out might be important and Kendricks would know how to deal with the information. Carlos wished he could request a temporary transfer to another precinct as long as this investigation was going on, but he knew that would be ridiculous.

Kendricks sighed and rubbed a hand over his head. “Then I can assume that’s not the reason you are here.”

Carlos nodded. “Major Reyes tried to order me to deliver the news of Captain Strand’s arrest to his fire station. To prevent rumors reaching them first, causing some kind of adverse reaction.”

“Did he, now?” Kendricks sighed again.

“The place where my boyfriend is currently on shift,” Carlos continued through gritted teeth. “Never mind Captain Strand’s whole crew, half of whom are friends of mine. Major Reyes is very well aware of that.”

“You don’t want to tell your partner yourself?” Kendricks asked, sounding curious.

“Not while on duty,” Carlos said. He pressed his lips together into a thin line, his gut churning. “And not without explicit written permission to privately share this tidbit about the investigation with TK.”

Kendricks watched him thoughtfully. Eventually, he nodded. “That’s a good line to hold onto, son. I’ll make sure you have that letter in hand by the end of your shift. Don’t leave your desk until the end of today’s shift unless I’m the one to tell you otherwise.”

Carlos felt tension he hadn’t even been aware of leave his shoulders. “Thank you, Sir.”

Kendricks nodded. “And why are you here, Officer Mitchell?”

“Backing up my partner, Sir,” Lexi said tightly.

Kendricks grinned. “Good for you. Go and get caught up with your paperwork. There will be nothing to distract you from it today.”

Carlos nodded and followed Lexi out of the room. They still had five hours left on their shift and should have gone out on patrol again in an hour. It would be a long day chained to a desk, and he would probably learn much more about the investigation into Owen than he wanted to, but knowing his captain had his back in this way was a huge relief.

At least it was enough time to get caught up with all the reports and other forms piling up in his backlog. Carlos couldn’t even remember the last time when he hadn’t hung back to deal with paperwork.

Halfway to their desks, Lexi dragged him into the empty break room and to the corner farthest from the door.

“What was that?” she asked quietly, worriedly.

Carlos made a face. “Trying to establish professional boundaries with my father.”

Lexi raised her brows.

Carlos rubbed a hand over his mouth and shrugged. “Look, he should have never interrogated me about letting the robber go. It might have been his case, but he should have ordered someone else to talk to me. And while people in general will assume he let me off lightly, I and anyone who bothers to look at the transcript of that conversation will know that he had already judged me before he even came into the room. Judged me harshly and unfairly.”

Lexi shifted around uncomfortably. “Yeah. I might have taken a look at that transcript.”

Carlos grinned. Of course she had. He would, too, if their roles were ever reversed. Just to make sure she wasn’t being screwed over and needed more support than she had asked for.

“You really don’t want to call TK?”

Carles exhaled loudly. “I’d like nothing more than to drive over there, drag him into a quiet corner, hug him tightly, and promise him everything will be alright. The arrest is utter bullshit. But I can hardly do that while in uniform. I need to establish and hold onto proper professional boundaries. I can’t ever forget that lesson again, Lexi!”

She made a face and nodded, but thankfully she didn’t mention the Blakes. Carlos couldn’t cross that line again, not for anyone, not even TK.

After a moment, Lexi asked, “Are you sure everything will be alright for TK and his father?”

Carlos shrugged and clenched his fists to keep himself from running his fingers through his hair. “Two days ago, Owen and my parents were at our place for dinner. Dad and Owen behaved suspiciously even then. And I didn’t lie about Owen’s surgery. He’s not the arsonist, and I don’t believe for a moment my father thinks he is.”

Lexi hummed. “Like you said, it’s none of your business. And probably a good idea to stay far away even if there weren’t personal relationships involved.”

Carlos nodded.

“Maybe you should still text TK,” Lexi said softly and squeezed his shoulder reassuringly. “Just something short. So he knows you’re thinking of him.”

Carlos blinked, feeling wrongfooted. He didn’t know what to put in such a text, but it still suddenly felt like something he needed to do. He nodded. “Thank you.”

Lexi smiled and patted his arm before she left him alone in the break room. Carlos took a moment to gather his thoughts before he left the room as well, turning in the direction of the locker room to get his personal phone so he could text TK.

***

TK glared at Judd as he was pushed into the captain’s office. Judd closed the door behind them and, while TK started to pace through the room just as he had paced through the sitting area downstairs before Judd had dragged him up here, Judd sat on the edge of the table and crossed his arms over his chest.

“You need to calm down, TK.”

TK huffed and didn’t say anything.

Judd sighed. “It’s been over an hour, and you went out on a call in the meantime. We all know the arrest is bullshit!”

“I know!” TK hissed.

Judd hummed. “So, that’s not what you are so angry about, huh?”

TK huffed and kept pacing. He was angry that his father had been arrested, but he had already felt part of that anger when Mateo had told them about the house being searched. He was confused about the things that seemed to have been found and wondered what Owen had been up to while stuck at home, but he couldn’t see how any of that would be enough to arrest him.

But Judd was right, Owen’s arrest wasn’t what TK was angry about the most.

Judd watched him for a little while. Then he said, “You know, it’s not too long ago that I was in pretty much the same situation Carlos is in right now.”

TK stopped and turned to him. “What?”

“It’s a really shitty situation to be in.”

“He didn’t even call me!” TK spat. “Just sent me a text and hasn’t responded to any of my texts or my calls since!”

“He is on shift today, too, isn’t he?” Judd asked with raised brows.

“Yes!” TK gritted his teeth. “He could have asked to come here and be the one to tell us about this bullshit!”

It hurt in a way TK hadn’t expected that it hadn’t been Carlos himself who had told him his father had been arrested. He didn’t even know why anyone had been here in the first place to tell them about it if that wasn’t against some regulation for the investigation. But if the APD already was sending someone anyway, TK would have wished Carlos had asked for that job.

Instead, TK had gotten a text from Carlos half an hour before the other officer had shown up. It had just read ‘Love you. Call me after the end of my shift. Things will be alright,’ and TK hadn’t understood any of it until a stranger had told them Owen had been arrested under suspicion of being an arsonist.

“So you would have been able to focus this uncalled for rage on your boyfriend?” Judd asked with raised brows.

“I wouldn’t—”

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure you would’ve, kid,” Judd interrupted him softly. “Because you’re just as much of a hothead as your old man.”

TK made a face but didn’t protest. Maybe Judd was right. And that turned at least part of his anger into worry as he started wondering if that was the reason Carlos hadn’t come here himself.

Judd sighed. “You remember that medical call we had at the hotel a while ago? Not too long before Gracie’s and my accident?”

“Yes,” TK said slowly.

He didn’t know what Judd was getting at. He hadn’t been on that call because Tommy, Nancy, and he had only come on shift that evening, but he remembered that Judd had been absentminded and Paul had mentioned that Judd knew the patient. It had stuck in his mind for Judd’s reaction and Paul’s confusion about that alone.

“The man we were called to help was Gracie’s dad,” Judd said quietly, watching TK intently. “The woman he was with wasn’t Gracie’s mom, though.”

“Oh.” TK sucked in a breath and bit his lip. “That sucks.”

“It did,” Judd agreed. “I don’t have the best relationship with Gracie’s dad. But he still asked me not to tell his family how I had found him. And I … In the end, I didn’t keep quiet about it because he asked me to. I kept quiet because what happens on the job is always confidential.”

TK winced.

“We can’t just talk about the private or medical information of strangers we learn about because we help them,” Judd said. “That doesn’t suddenly change just because the patient might not be a stranger.”

“That’s hardly the same,” TK muttered.

“Isn’t it?” Judd raised his brows. “I was tormented about the whole thing. Because I knew it would hurt Gracie if — when — she learned about it. But lying to her hurt me. Keeping any kind of secret from her always feels wrong.”

TK pulled his lips between his teeth and shrugged.

“I can just imagine how conflicted Carlos has to be right now,” Judd said. “He is on shift right now, so he really has no business coming here. It’s your father who was arrested, so hopefully he’s being kept far away from the case.”

“His father’s the one who arrested my dad!” TK hissed.

Judd blinked. “Huh? You sure?”

“They were at our place for dinner the day before yesterday,” TK said darkly. “His parents and Dad. Carlos’ dad talked about his case and how frustrating it is.”

He didn’t mention his father’s strange behavior or the way the stench of smoke had clung to his clothes. Maybe that was the whole reason Owen had ended up being a suspect. Maybe that was the reason Gabriel and Owen had been gone for part of the evening after Owen had finally arrived.

“That makes the situation even more awkward for Carlos, don’t you think?” Judd sighed. “You said he texted you. What did he say?”

“That I should call him when his shift is over.”

Judd raised his brows. “Have you considered that Carlos is just putting up professional boundaries, then?”

TK frowned. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“As an officer of the law, he can’t tell you anything about an ongoing investigation or any suspects,” Judd said. “Just the same as you should never tell him any details you learned about patients. The same I should’ve not even contemplated telling Gracie what I knew about her father, and I knew that the whole time I was trying to figure out how to tell her.”

TK huffed.

“When his shift is over, though, he’ll just be your boyfriend. He still won’t be able to tell you anything he knows, but he’ll be able to be there for you then.”

“Did you tell Grace about her dad?” TK asked, mostly to distract from the subject of Carlos.

Judd sighed. “Didn’t have to. I behaved suspiciously enough while I tried to figure out if and how I should tell her that she looked up the call about her dad eventually. Listened to the recording.”

TK frowned. “Did you fight about it?”

Judd huffed. “No. Gracie knows me too well. She knew exactly what thoughts and fears I had been struggling with. But once she knew, I was able to be there for her, to hold her and listen to her vent her anger and disappointment about her father’s behavior.”

TK turned his head away and wrapped his arms around himself. He knew what Judd was trying to tell him, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t still irrationally angry that Carlos hadn’t come here himself.

Suddenly, this whole comparison Judd had brought up stung. Because the huge difference between Judd’s relationship with Grace and TK’s relationship with Carlos was that Judd and Grace had known each other for a decade and that of course meant that they knew each other intimately.

TK was much too aware that it wasn’t the same for Carlos and him. He had been aware of that before the disastrous first meeting with Carlos’ parents, but it had been on his mind ever since. They had a long way to go to reach the kind of understanding Judd had just bragged about, which felt like just another slap in the face for TK.

“Are you done with your little intervention?” TK asked through gritted teeth.

Judd sighed. “Just trying to help, kid.”

TK shrugged. “Not sure it worked.” He sighed and closed his eyes. “Still, thank you.”

“Owen will be alright,” Judd said. “And you and Carlos will be alright if you don’t do something stupid.”

TK rolled his eyes. “Yeah, fine. Can I go?”

Judd sighed again. “’M not keeping you hostage.”

TK nodded and left the room, only to run into Tommy who held a cup of coffee out to him. TK ignored the cup and groaned. “Another intervention? Don’t you think one was enough?”

Tommy smiled warmly. “Just a cup of coffee and a place where no one will bother you.” She nodded in the direction of her own office. “You don’t want to talk about anything going on with your father, you don’t have to.”

TK watched her skeptically for a moment before he took the coffee from her hands and walked into her office. If she didn’t keep her word, he’d at least only have to face her and not everyone else. As much as he appreciated Marjan and Paul making stupid plans about breaking Owen out of prison, he really wasn’t in the mood to take part in that.

“How is Charles?” TK asked.

Tommy chuckled. “As good as can be expected. He tires easily and suffers from some headaches. They are letting him go home the day after tomorrow.”

TK sighed and sent her a hesitant smile. Getting some good news was something he had needed. “Sounds great.”

“It is,” Tommy agreed. “The doctor is very happy with how the surgery went. The headaches and exhaustion should be gone in a week or so.”

“Which leaves you lots of time for the last preparations for reopening the restaurant,” TK said.

Tommy had been very openly excited but hadn’t shared many details about those plans until the day she had told him and Nancy about Charles’ upcoming surgery. TK felt she might have shifted more of her focus there to battle her anxiety about the surgery, but neither he nor Nancy had called her out on it.

Now TK was happy to talk with her about all of it again to provide some distraction for himself. Maybe if he didn’t think about his father or anything else until the end of shift, the whole situation would have miraculously solved itself.

***

Carlos told himself that there was no reason to worry yet. His own shift might have been over for two hours, but TK was still on shift for two more. Usually, Carlos didn’t mind the differences in their shifts, but at the moment, it was very difficult to keep calm about the silence from TK.

Carlos hadn’t gotten an answer to the text he had sent after his shift had ended. There had been several texts and missed calls from TK initially, all of which had arrived within twenty minutes of each other. Carlos suspected that TK had tried to reach him right after getting the news of Owen’s arrest, and the tone of the texts had been irritated and confused. There had been nothing since, but of course, Carlos knew that TK was most likely on call-outs, that his shift might just be very busy. But knowing that didn’t mean that the silence wasn’t making him nervous.

It had made him so nervous, in fact, that he had somehow managed to fuck up the security system when he had come home and tried to disable it. He hadn’t been able to figure out what was going on with it either and called the hotline for it. Someone from the company would come over the next morning to look at it.

To make sure he didn’t mess up anything else, Carlos had gotten his book and tried to get comfortable on the couch. As much as he tried, though, he wasn’t able to concentrate on the story.

Carlos practically threw his book away when he grabbed his phone as soon as it started to ring with TK’s ringtone. In his haste, the phone nearly slipped from his fingers as he tapped on the screen to accept the call.

“TK,” Carlos said softly.

“Hey,” TK said. He sounded exhausted. “Sorry, the last six hours or so have been crazy with calls.”

Carlos chuckled. “I know those days. Did you at least get a break to eat something?”

“Tommy is an awesome captain who remembers those things and forces them, if necessary,” TK said, laughing quietly. “But that break was three hours ago.”

Carlos sighed and leaned back on the couch, closing his eyes. “I’m sorry about your dad.”

TK was silent for a while, but his breathing was uneven enough that Carlos knew he was struggling to find an answer. “Yeah. It’s bullshit.”

“I know. But I’m not … I put up some boundaries at work the other day and I need to hold onto them.”

“We talked about that,” TK said softly. “I know that. And I understand that.” He huffed. “Should have done the same thing with my father long ago. Had to leave his crew to get them into place.” TK exhaled loudly. “Might have forgotten what you told me about that conversation with your captain for a little moment earlier.”

“I wish I hadn’t been on shift and could have come over,” Carlos said.

“No.” TK groaned, and Carlos heard a dull thud as if he had hit something. “I wasn’t my best earlier. I wanted you here, of course, but I fear that would have ended in a fight. And I don’t want to fight with you. Especially not about some bullshit our fathers are pulling.”

Carlos sucked in a breath and pressed the fingers of his free hand against his closed eyes. “Fight, huh?”

“I was pretty angry for a while. And Judd pointed out that I probably wouldn’t have cared that you were only the messenger,” TK whispered. “I need to work on that.”

“My father ordered me to go over to the 126 to tell you about Owen,” Carlos said slowly. He didn’t know what to do with TK’s confession, but talking about it over the phone might not be the best anyway.

“He did what?” TK asked aghast. And then he added angrily, “That asshole!”

Carlos chuckled listlessly. “He also expected you’d stage a revolt.”

“Wow. He seems to have a really bad opinion about firefighters in general. I mean, I’m the only one here he really knows.” TK paused. “Or did he expect all of that to be started by me?”

“I think he was talking about Owen’s crew, not you specifically,” Carlos said.

“I probably shouldn’t ask,” TK murmured, “but…”

“I don’t know anything about the case,” Carlos said. “I was very careful not to get anywhere near it. In my opinion, my father shouldn’t be anywhere near it anymore. Doesn’t look too good when one of the two main investigators had dinner with the main suspect just two days before the arrest. But no one asked me about that. I do know whatever they think they have won’t hold up against any kind of scrutiny.”

TK sighed deeply. “Mateo told us all about how the house was searched this morning before he came to work. They seem to have found some kind of arson experiment in the backyard. I have no idea what Dad has gotten himself into in his boredom.”

Carlos bit his lip, but after a moment he said, “I saw a couple of the dates for the fires. One was the evening of Owen’s surgery. You really don’t need to worry, TK. Your dad’s not the arsonist.”

TK exhaled slowly. “Thanks.”

“I’ll be home when you are getting off shift,” Carlos said softly. “Any preferences for dinner?”

TK chuckled warmly. “Just something easy. Maybe something we can eat while lying on the couch. I feel like cuddling and forgetting that the world outside of home exists.”

Carlos grinned, warmth spreading through him as always whenever TK called the house home. For several months, TK had spent much more time with Carlos than at his father’s house, but he had always been so very careful not to call it home. TK had officially moved in less than a month ago and any recognition of it was still such a thrill for Carlos.

“I think I can come up with something,” Carlos promised. Besides snacks he might also come up with other plans to distract TK from the crazy going on outside their house. He had still two hours to plan after all.

Suddenly, Carlos heard Judd shout in the background, and he was prepared for TK to end the call, but instead, TK said incredulously, “Fuck, what the hell?”

“What’s going on?” Carlos asked confused.

There was an alarm in the background then, sounding shrilly through the phone, and Carlos froze because it wasn’t the siren for a call out for the 126. It was very clearly a fire alarm.

“TK?” Carlos asked agitatedly.

“Get out!” Carlos heard Judd over the line. “Everyone, get out!”

“No idea,” TK said, and judging by the sound he was moving now as were several people around him. “Judd got a call and now—”

An explosion interrupted TK, and the shouting and cursing Carlos could hear in the background grew louder and more erratic. Carlos jumped up and hurried to the door, barely stopping to put his shoes on.

“TK, what’s going on?”

“Everyone is outside,” TK said, panting, shortly followed by a second and then a third explosion. “Fuck. No one is hurt, don’t worry. And I have no idea what’s going on! I think … I think those are bombs. Judd’s on the phone with the bomb squad.”

“I’m on my way,” Carlos said as he pulled the door shut behind him.

“You don’t need to—”

“I’m on my way!” Carlos repeated more forcefully. “I’m not leaving you alone with whatever is going on there! I’d also appreciate it if you stayed on the line!”

“I’m fine, Carlos,” TK said softly. “But I won’t hang up until you get here.”

Chapter 04

“All of this has to be a bad dream!” TK moaned as soon as Carlos pushed him into their house. “How can any of this be real? How could Dad think getting involved in an investigation about an arsonist, especially like this, would be a good idea?!”

TK still couldn’t believe that their fire station had burned down for the most part after the explosions had driven them all out. Judd and Tommy had kept them all out of the building, corralling them to the other side of the street after getting the vehicles in front of the 126 out of the way.

It had been galling to just stand there and watch the fire, but TK also understood the decision. They couldn’t have been sure whether there were any more bombs inside waiting to go off at any moment and all their equipment had been inside. They wouldn’t have been able to reach it safely, so it had been much safer for every single one of them to stay out.

When the 121 and the 137 had arrived, they had stayed outside of the building, too, getting the fire under control as much as was possible from the outside. It had taken the bomb squad much too long to get there, and even after they had arrived it had been difficult to clear the scene because of the fire already raging through the building.

In the end, they had spent two hours watching the home they had built here in Austin burn down until the fire was dealt with and the bomb squad had cautiously cleared the scene. It had broken TK’s heart, and he knew everyone else felt the same.

“No one was hurt,” Carlos said softly. He dropped the food they had picked up on the way home on the table and pulled TK into a tight hug.

TK leaned into his boyfriend, happy to just let himself be held up. He felt exhausted and off balance. Somehow, he felt like something had been lost in the fire at the 126 that they wouldn’t be able to rebuild.

“I don’t understand how the bombs could even be placed!” TK whispered desperately. “And it was dumb luck that no one was hurt! If Judd had been in Dad’s office…”

He shuddered. One of the bombs had been placed right under the captain’s desk. It hadn’t been the first to go off, but if anyone had been at that desk when the first explosion occurred and had stood up and turned to the glass window overlooking the garage, they would have been thrown right through that window with the second explosion at the desk.

The bombs had been placed to kill — TK had no doubt about it. It was nothing but sheer luck that no one had been.

“You had a very busy shift,” Carlos said. “Not just your own team, but the firefighters, too. And the arsonist probably had a very good understanding about the processes at a fire station.”

“And why was no one watching that guy?” TK asked darkly. He huffed and wrapped his arms around Carlos when he tried to step away. TK might be shaking from his anger, but that didn’t mean he was ready to give up physical contact with Carlos right now. “Dad said it was all a trap! He might have suspected the wrong guy, but your father didn’t. Why weren’t both suspects put under surveillance once the trap was laid?”

“I have no idea.”

“Exactly! They knew what kind of person they were dealing with! They played a dangerous game and now everyone else has to pay for it!”

What made the whole situation even worse was that Judd seemed to have known at least part of it. When Owen, Gabriel, and Billy Tyson had explained the situation to them after they had arrived at the 126, some of Judd’s questions had shown very clearly that he had at least known about Owen’s suspicions that Billy was the arsonist.

TK felt the sting of betrayal over that, especially remembering the conversation Judd had had with him about Owen’s arrest earlier in the day. He felt Judd should have shared with him what he knew about Owen’s private investigation at least.

TK sighed. “Thanks for pulling me away from accepting Judd’s invitation.”

Texas Rangers and APD had been swarming the scene before the fire at the 126 had even been extinguished. When everyone had finally been allowed to go, Judd had offered an open invite for everyone to reconvene at his place.

For some reason, TK had felt obligated to accept that invite, even after Paul, Marjan, and Mateo had already declined. Thankfully, Carlos had made a decision for both of them before TK had been able to say anything and saved them from any more discussions about the events of the day, at least with the people responsible for the whole thing.

“Would you have accepted otherwise?” Carlos leaned back a little, cupping one of TK’s cheeks with a hand and frowning at him. “Did you want to go to Judd’s?”

TK rolled his eyes. “I didn’t want to go. But I felt … My dad is the reason for all of this. I kinda felt obligated to be involved in whatever else is happening.”

“You aren’t,” Carlos said softly.

TK shrugged, lowering his gaze. “I’m trying to remind myself of that. And I’m glad you backed me up on that.”

“I’ll always have your back,” Carlos promised softly. He turned them to the table and pushed TK down on one of the chairs. “And right now, that means getting some food into you. I’ve heard your stomach growling several times!”

TK chuckled. “I love you.”

Carlos grinned and leaned down to kiss him. “I love you, too. I’ll get plates and drinks. Start unpacking the food.”

“Let’s just eat out of the boxes,” TK said. He didn’t think he had the strength left to even just fill the dishwasher with any dirty plates.

Carlos laughed. “Just this once! We are not making a habit out of skipping plates!”

TK grinned and rolled his eyes as he began to unpack the boxes of Chinese food from the bag. Carlos was very determined to always use proper plates when they brought takeout home. It was practically an unwritten rule in Carlos’ kitchen, and more than once TK had started a playful argument about it by starting to eat out of the box despite a plate sitting right in front of him.

“You have a late shift tomorrow, right?” TK asked.

His own shift, which should have started at eight in the morning, was canceled for obvious reasons. The 126 would be offline for some time, however long it would take to rebuild their fire station. All shifts for the 126 for the next two days had been canceled — after that, they would be on call in case a floater was needed anywhere.

“Starting 2 pm,” Carlos said as he returned to the table with drinks.

“So, we can just enjoy a lazy morning,” TK decided. “Not see anyone for a bit. I’d love to just ignore all the chaos Dad created for a little while.”

“Owen might have had a hand in this, but he is not the only one at fault,” Carlos said softly.

TK huffed. “If he hadn’t gotten himself involved, the 126 would never have been targeted. What did he say the arsonist’s last words were? He’d take away what was most important to Dad?”

Carlos made a face. “Okay, that’s true.”

TK shrugged and grabbed the box that was marked as his. “You forgot the chopsticks!”

Carlos raised his eyebrows. “You wanted to eat from the boxes. I thought you’d want to go for the whole experience and also use the disposable chopsticks that came with the food!”

“You’re not funny!” TK muttered petulantly and stood to get the chopsticks. For a very tiny moment, he contemplated being petty and only getting some for himself, but he really didn’t want to escalate this teasing.

When he returned from the kitchen, something at the stairs caught his eye. At first, TK thought it was a play of shadows, his tired brain seeing something that wasn’t there. But then the wariness of the day overtook him and he squatted down, staring at a small black box hanging under one of the lower steps.

“TK?” Carlos asked confused.

“I think we have a problem,” TK said, wide-eyed and frozen in shock.

“What?”

Carlos walked up to him and leaned down. “What is that?” He started to walk over to the stairs, but TK caught the hem of his pants to hold him back.

“Don’t touch it,” TK said and sucked in a breath. “I think we need to get out of here. If that’s a bomb we have no idea what will set it off.”

He turned to put the chopsticks on the table and use it as leverage to stand up again, only to be confronted with another small black box under the table that he knew had not been there that morning.

“Fuck.” TK dropped the chopsticks and stood without touching the table. “There is a second one under the table.”

Carlos turned to him, pale and wide-eyed. “You think…”

“I’m not taking any risks,” TK said darkly. “You said the security system wasn’t working right earlier. Maybe it wasn’t you who messed up some setting.”

And that was a terrifying thought. Carlos had been home alone earlier, and from the timeline they had gotten from Owen and Gabriel, at that point the arsonist had just been apprehended after walking into the trap.

If these boxes had been placed by him, they had already been here when Carlos had come home from his shift. TK felt sick at the thought of what might have happened if they had gone off at the same time as the bombs at the 126. Where had Carlos been when TK had called him? Had he been sitting here at the table?

“There are bombs in our house,” Carlos whispered, interrupting the horrible vision forming in TK’s mind. Carlos closed his eyes for a moment, and when he opened them again he had visibly pushed away whatever fear or dread had overcome him. “Call 9-1-1. We need to evacuate our neighbors.”

TK nodded. “Yes.” He grabbed Carlos’ arm and bit his lip, the pictures of the 126 from earlier in the day returning with full force. “Do you have anything down here that’s irreplaceable? Once we are out of here, we might not…” He had to clear his throat.

There hadn’t been anything TK considered irreplaceable at the 126, but this was his home. He immediately had a list of a dozen things in his mind that would hurt horribly to lose, that he might not ever be able to replace. Most of them were upstairs, though, and they really shouldn’t linger inside.

Carlos stared at him, unmoving.

“Okay, let’s get out,” TK said, already regretting even voicing the question. It was enough that he was worrying about it, and there was nothing to be done about it anyway.

With a little bit of luck, nothing would happen anyway. Maybe the black boxes weren’t even bombs and the specialist they’d call to check that out would laugh about their paranoia before the night was over.

Carlos turned his head, looking upstairs. “We should…”

“No one is going upstairs!” TK hissed and pulled on Carlos’ arm even though Carlos hadn’t moved yet. “We have no idea what will set off the box under the stairs!”

Carlos sucked in a breath and his face lost even more color. “Right.”

“Let’s move.” TK pushed at Carlos. “Move!”

“There is one thing,” Carlos whispered and then he turned to the bookshelf instead of the door.

TK inhaled deeply and grabbed the backpack that was carefully tucked away beside their shoe rack — after he made sure there was no strange black box anywhere near it. Carlos had been very bewildered when TK had created that bag, and TK had really wished he’d never need to take it away from its place beside the shoes.

Carlos was carrying a stack of photo albums when TK reached the door just ahead of him.

“Don’t close the door,” TK said.

If closing the door would trigger anything, it would have already happened when Carlos came home earlier in the day; or when he left again; or when they had come home together not twenty minutes ago. But being cautious wouldn’t hurt, and it would be one less barrier for the bomb squad to worry about.

Once outside, it suddenly seemed to be much easier to breathe and think. TK pulled out his phone to call 9-1-1 while Carlos dropped the albums he was carrying on the curb on the other side of the street where TK stopped, and then ran over to the house on the left side of their own. The light shining through the windows indicated that the people there were still awake, so it was the best choice to start warning their neighbors.

By the time TK got off the phone with dispatch, Carlos had already successfully woken the neighbors in the house to their right as well. He had convinced both families to leave their houses and congregate on the far side of the street where TK was standing.

“The 132 will be here in five minutes,” TK said as he lowered his phone. “Bomb squad is a little farther away, but they’ll be here soon.”

“Bomb squad?” one of the neighbors asked in a high-pitched voice.

TK rubbed a hand over his forehead, and Carlos said, “We found two suspicious objects hidden in our house.”

The man who lived to their right with his family scoffed. “Is this your job following you home? Should have known better than to move in next door to a cop.” He sneered at them. “Especially a gay cop.”

“It’s actually my father’s job that might have followed us … Oh damn, Mamá!”

“Call her!” TK said, feeling a new wave of panic rise in his chest. “I’m calling Mateo!” While Owen had accepted Judd’s invitation, Mateo had gone home — which meant he was now alone in Owen’s house, which might just be rigged with bombs, too.

“Hey, TK! What’s up?” Mateo asked, sounding much too happy and energetic for the day they’d had.

“Are you home?” TK asked.

Mateo huffed. “Yeah. Trying to start getting order back into the chaos Cap’s friends left here this morning. They could have been a little nicer, considering all of this was just for show anyway.”

“Get Buttercup and get out!” TK ordered, not taking time to feel any vindication over the fact that he wasn’t the only one angry about the stunt Owen had pulled.

“Why?” Mateo asked confused.

“Carlos and I came home to find black boxes hidden in the house that we suspect might be more bombs,” TK said. “Get out of the house. I’ll call dispatch as soon as I have hung up with you to tell them they need to send someone to you and to Carlos’ parents’ house, too. If he was here, he might have left a nasty surprise at Dad’s and Gabriel’s homes, too.”

“Damn it! What do they look like? I can—”

“You are not searching for anything, Mateo!” TK interrupted him harshly. “You are moving your ass out of that house and will wait for reinforcements. For people who know how to deal with bombs! Who have the equipment for it. We’ve had a lot of luck so far that the only one who died today is the arsonist. You are not spoiling that luck by looking for things you’re not qualified to take care of anyway!”

“But—”

“You are not risking your own life, Mateo!” TK barked. “Get Buttercup and yourself out of that house!”

“I’m on my way!” Mateo said, sounding exasperated and then he called for Buttercup. “If this house blows up, it’ll be the second time this year I’ve lost my home!”

TK sucked in a breath and closed his eyes. Until this very moment, he hadn’t even really thought about how much Mateo had lost in that fire at his apartment building. Being faced with possibly losing just as much himself suddenly put Mateo’s situation in a very different light.

“You won’t,” TK whispered. “We found the ones at our place. If there are any at your house, they’ll be found, too. And they’ll be disabled.”

“This sucks,” Mateo muttered.

“Leave the door open,” TK said when he heard the door in the background.

Mateo groaned. “Are you calling dispatch?”

“Yes. As soon as you’ve promised not to go back inside the house!”

“I won’t,” Mateo said softly. “I know you are right, it’s just … I’ll call Paul and Marjan. Maybe one of them isn’t asleep yet and will come over to sit with me while I’m waiting for the house to be searched for a second time today.”

“Yeah, good idea. Try Nancy, too. Please text me with any news? Even just AFD arriving.”

“You, too,” Mateo said. “We should all book hotel rooms and have the Texas Rangers pay for it.”

TK chuckled. “Yeah, that’s a good idea. You should look for the most expensive hotel in Austin for that! Talk to you later!”

“Mamá’s outside,” Carlos said as soon as TK ended the call. “She says she was home the whole day and had friends over, so no one should have been able to sneak in. But she agreed not to take any risks.”

“Does she have a place to stay later?”

Carlos nodded. “My aunt lives just down the road. She’ll go there as soon as AFD or APD arrive.”

TK nodded and followed through on his promise to Mateo, dialing 9-1-1 again. He was connected to the same dispatcher he had talked to before as soon as he said his name, and it took no time at all before he was promised that units were on the way both to his father’s house and the Reyes’ house.

He had just ended that phone call when his phone started ringing again. TK raised his brows as he saw his dad’s picture on the display.

“Hey, Dad,” TK said with forced cheerfulness.

“Where are you and Carlos?” Owen asked. “You need to get out of your house if you—”

“We’re already standing out in front of it,” TK interrupted him softly. “The 132 just arrived and the bomb squad shouldn’t be too far behind them.”

“TK…” Owen said brokenly.

“Nothing’s exploded yet,” TK said darkly. “Let’s hope it stays that way and someone will be able to disable whatever was left in our home. We saw two devices, but we have no idea how many more were left behind.”

“I’m so sorry,” Owen said quietly. “We are on the way to your place.”

“I called Mateo and Carlos called Andrea,” TK said. “They are outside and waiting for the teams dispatched to their places.”

Owen sucked in a breath. “You think…”

“I have no idea what to think, Dad!” TK snapped.

“We’ll be there soon.”

TK rolled his eyes and bit his tongue to keep from snapping at his father again. He wanted to tell him that he should go to his own house instead and support Mateo with everything that would be going on there, but he already knew that wouldn’t happen.

“Fine,” he said instead. “You won’t be able to miss us.”

TK ended the call before Owen could say anything more. Carlos watched him with raised brows, but TK just shrugged. They couldn’t do anything about their fathers showing up — even if it was the last thing TK wanted right now. They’d just have to endure them.

There was no time to think about it, as the captain of the 132 pulled them out of the crowd of their neighbors to ask them about what they knew.

Usually, TK was the one to invade someone else’s home to help them in an emergency, and he never had thought about it in any detail. They were there to help, after all, and they had been asked to help. Watching now as strangers walked into his home while he had to stand on the curb and hope they would be able to remove the devices they found without any damage made him reevaluate how their patients and their families had to feel. Maybe not in the moment of the emergency, but later on when they were home again and had to clean up whatever chaos the first responders had left behind.

TK barely registered when his father showed up, and with him Gabriel, Billy, Judd, and Tommy. He mostly ignored them while he stood leaning against Carlos, their hands clasped together while they watched their house, waiting for something to happen.

Eventually, the man who had previously introduced himself as Thomas Robbins and as the leader of the bomb squad unit left the house and came over to them. He looked grim but also sent them a reassuring smile.

“Mr. Reyes, Mr. Strand.” Robbins glanced over the rest of the group standing with them.

“I’m Major Gabriel Reyes, Texas Rangers,” Carlos’ father introduced himself. “This is my son’s house. The investigation about the arsonist was … is my case.”

“You have him in custody?” Robbins asked.

Gabriel and Owen shared a look, and TK could tell that at least his own father looked very uncomfortable.

“He set himself on fire,” Gabriel said eventually and waved in the direction of the house. “And left us some surprises. Fire station 126 was his first target. Both Owen and TK work there.”

Robbins raised his brows. “I was told about the bombs at the 126 when I arrived here.” He turned his gaze from Gabriel back to TK and Carlos. “The devices you found aren’t bombs. They’re ignition sources. They are designed to start a fire silently, and we found some kind of accelerant leading away from them.”

“So they would have started a fire without any warning,” TK said.

Robbins nodded. “Yes. At the moment I believe the one you found under the stairs would have been triggered by someone going upstairs after a certain time in the evening.”

TK inhaled deeply and Carlos’ grip on his hand tightened nearly painfully. “Go to sleep upstairs and the fire would have started downstairs.”

“Yes. We are still searching the house. So far, we have found five devices downstairs and two in the bedroom. But we’re still looking. We’ll also need to clean up the accelerant which might take a little while.” Robbins sighed. “You won’t be able to return to the house tonight.”

“You can stay with me,” Owen offered immediately.

TK laughed disdainfully. “Wherever we are going to stay, it sure as hell won’t be with you, Dad!”

“TK—” Owen began.

“No!” TK turned and glared at Owen. “None of this would’ve happened if you had stayed in your lane! You had to go and play at being a private arson investigator because you were bored! You got the 126 destroyed and the same could have happened to everything Carlos and I own if I hadn’t hesitated over some strange shadow! I don’t even remember what exactly I noticed that made me squat down and discover that box under the stairs!”

“TK.” This time it was Judd who tried to interrupt him.

“Keep out of it, Judd! You already lectured me once today and forgot over that to tell me what you knew about Dad’s insane quest to play games with an arsonist!”

Judd raised his hands defensively and took a step back.

“I’m not catering to your self-righteous triumph over catching the bad guy — if you can even call it that — while Carlos and I are exiled from our home because you and Gabriel had to bait your suspect instead of finding a better way to catch him!”

“Now, wait a minute—” Gabriel began.

“He is completely right,” Carlos said darkly. “Owen suspected Captain Tyson. But you said you suspected Raymond all along. So why wasn’t he under surveillance? You managed to orchestrate this whole show around Owen without anyone noticing, you should have been able to organize surveillance for both your suspects. You didn’t, probably because you were so sure of yourself that you thought it wasn’t necessary. And now it will cost the AFD a lot of money to rebuild the 126. And it still might cost TK and me our home!”

“You can spend the night at my place,” Tommy said. “The whole house is empty for two more nights. That will hopefully be enough time to get your house cleaned.”

“It should if we don’t find any other nasty surprises,” Robbins interjected.

TK inhaled deeply, suddenly feeling very ashamed to have gone off on his father in front of a stranger. Robbins had treated them with a lot of consideration when his team had arrived and he was here to do his job, not to get dragged into their family drama.

“Thank you for everything you are doing,” Carlos said to Robbins. “Is there any chance we can get a change of clothes?”

Robbins made a face. “I’m afraid not. We’ve found accelerant all over the closet. He was very thorough. The fire would have spread very quickly throughout the whole house.”

“He set this up with the goal to kill us,” TK whispered.

“I’m not making any such statements yet,” Robbins said with raised brows. “But I’ll make sure you’re briefed on my final report.”

TK nodded slowly, but he wasn’t able to say anything. For some reason, suddenly everything felt like too much. He wanted to turn around and go away even though he didn’t know where to go. He just didn’t want to look at the home he had just found and nearly lost tonight.

“Do you need us for anything else?” Carlos asked as one of his hands settled on the back of TK’s neck.

“No. You can leave if you want to. Sounds like you already had a very long day and could use some rest.”

“Thank you,” Carlos said and then he turned to Tommy. “Your invitation sounds like heaven, Tommy.”

Tommy smiled warmly. “Of course. I’ll drive. You can take an Uber back tomorrow.”

“I still think—” Owen began.

“Have you even talked to Mateo since you arrived here?” TK said without even looking at his father. He wanted to go, and he wanted to be left alone with Carlos. “Is your house cleared? Or are you stubbornly offering a guestroom without even knowing if that room is available?”

“I’ve texted with Mateo,” Tommy said with raised brows and her gaze fixed on Owen. “The house is clear. But even more of a mess now than this morning.”

“And Mamá texted me. Everything is alright there, too,” Carlos added.

TK closed his eyes and concentrated on his breathing. On the one hand, he was incredibly relieved to know that no one else had to deal with losing their home and everything inside — especially not Mateo for a second time in a matter of months — but on the other hand he couldn’t help but wonder what his father and Gabriel had done to paint crosshairs on their sons’ backs. How had they turned the arsonist’s attention from themselves to TK and Carlos?

TK blinked and the next thing he knew was that he and Carlos were sitting in the back of Tommy’s car, driving away. He barely refrained from turning around to look at their house until it vanished behind the next corner.

“Fuck, I’m sorry,” TK murmured.

Carlos pulled him tightly against his chest and kissed his temple. “Everything is alright. Tommy, could we stop somewhere for something to eat? We brought dinner home, but we left it untouched on the table.”

TK didn’t think he would be able to eat anything, but he didn’t voice those thoughts. Instead, he leaned against Carlos and closed his eyes, concentrating on the warmth radiating from his boyfriend.

Maybe he could wake up and learn that the whole day had indeed been nothing but a nightmare.

Chapter 05

Carlos left the guestroom Tommy had given them as quietly as possible. TK had crashed before they had arrived at the Vegas’ house, overwhelmed by the events of the day and the emotional turmoil. Tommy had helped Carlos get him inside, but they hadn’t managed to get TK to eat anything, so they had just brought him to bed in the end.

Carlos felt exhausted himself, but couldn’t manage to fall asleep. His mind wouldn’t settle, and he had spent the last two hours trying not to toss around beside TK so much that he woke his boyfriend. He didn’t feel very comfortable leaving TK alone, but he needed to move so he left the room, hoping to somehow manage to settle his thoughts and restlessness before TK woke up alone in a strange bed. Carlos didn’t expect TK to even remember how he had gotten to that bed.

“Not sleeping well, either?” Tommy asked quietly, startling Carlos into a flinch.

Carlos shrugged and watched her silently. Tommy sat in the armchair, her feet drawn up onto the chair, cradling a glass of wine in her hands and returning his gaze patiently.

Eventually, Carlos shrugged. “Thanks for the room. I had dreaded searching for a hotel in the middle of the night.”

“Any time,” Tommy said softly. “And I’m glad not to be alone in an empty house. This last week has been…” She trailed off with a shrug.

Carlos nodded and sat down on the couch, feeling uncomfortable standing while Tommy sat. “How is Charles?”

“Great as far as I know.” Tommy sighed. “I can’t visit him in the hospital, so video calls are all we’ve had. I can’t wait for him to be home again. What’s keeping you up?”

Carlos shrugged and rubbed his hands over his face. “Everything. I’m … After TK found the device under the stairs, he asked me if I had anything downstairs I couldn’t imagine losing. And it’s just stuck in my head how many things are at my home that I keep because of the memories attached to them. How much it would hurt to lose all of it.”

“Your house is safe now,” Tommy said.

“We can only hope, can’t we?” Carlos muttered. “What if they miss one of those things? What if they set one off?”

“That’s why the engine and its crew kept hanging around. To make sure they could get control of any fire that might break out before it caused any irreparable damage.”

Carlos huffed and rolled his eyes. “I know. But that doesn’t change that we were damn lucky TK noticed something was off. I just keep picturing what would have happened if we had eaten and then gone upstairs.”

“Then we would have been there to get you out,” Tommy said with raised brows. “Owen and Gabriel recognized that the 126 might not have been the only target when we were together at Judd’s place. We were already on the way to you when Owen called TK.”

Carlos shrugged. He didn’t know if it would have been soon enough, fast enough. But it hadn’t happened, so it was a moot point to argue. But knowing that in no way translated to his ability to stop thinking about it, thinking about everything that could have happened to TK and him tonight.

“Do you want a drink?” Tommy asked and raised her wine glass.

Carlos shook his head. “No, thank you. Alcohol is the last thing to clear my thoughts. I’d go for a run, except I have no workout clothes.”

He looked down at himself, wearing a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt lent to him by Tommy. They didn’t quite fit, and TK was practically drowning in the ones Carlos had managed to get him into before he had fallen asleep completely. It wasn’t exactly comfortable, but it was better than sleeping in the clothes Carlos had worn the whole day. TK had still been in his uniform.

Not for the first time since he had sat in the back of Tommy’s car, leaving behind their house that was currently a crime scene he wondered if he would still be able to wear any of the clothes he owned or if the accelerant had ruined them and he needed to get everything new. He didn’t even remember if he had a uniform in his locker in the precinct, but he had decided hours ago that it was a problem for future him to figure out how to get ready for his shift if he didn’t.

Tommy looked around her house. “I’ve no idea what I would want to take with me if I only had the chance to save one single thing. What’s in TK’s bag?”

Carlos huffed. “Nothing of emotional value. When he moved in, he insisted on preparing an emergency pack. It holds notarized copies of all the paperwork we might need in any kind of emergency. He placed it beside the shoe rack, where we could grab it at a moment’s notice on our way out of the house.”

Tommy blinked and stared at him.

Carlos chuckled. “I never thought about something like this either until TK brought it up. I keep all important documents in a deposit box at my bank. But … Having those copies at hand and right with us if there had been … It would have made a lot of things easier. Especially as the key to the deposit box would have been lost in the fire, too.”

“Do you think this is a firefighter thing?” Tommy asked.

“No. In fact, Owen didn’t want to have such an emergency bag at home when TK lived with him.” Carlos knew that it had made TK anxious from the way he had talked about it after moving in with him. Seeing that anxiety had been the only reason Carlos had helped TK put the bag together, because he really hadn’t thought it would ever be useful.

“Maybe it’s something worth thinking about,” Tommy murmured into her wine.

“Why aren’t you sleeping?” Carlos asked.

Tommy huffed. “I was nearly murdered today, too.” She turned her gaze to the clock on the wall. “Yesterday. I was upstairs when the bomb in the fire captain’s office went off. Raymond aimed to kill with the way he placed the bombs and set them off. We aren’t sure how he triggered them, but he did trigger them before he died.”

“How do you know that?” Carlos asked.

“Owen, Billy, and your father saw him kill himself. He apparently asked something about if the Wi-Fi for the camera in the interrogation room was working. So far, they suspect that something specific he said triggered a program set up in the Wi-Fi system at the precinct.” Tommy shrugged. “That’s as far as I could follow that part of the conversation.”

“That means he couldn’t know what was currently going on at the 126 when he triggered the explosions,” Carlos said.

Tommy nodded. “But if both the fire and EMS crews hadn’t just come back from calls and nearly everyone had been down in the bay readying the vehicles for the next call, we wouldn’t have gotten away with minor injuries and no death.”

“Good thing you had such a busy shift,” Carlos whispered. “Can we be sure he didn’t set any more fires?”

“No.” Tommy shrugged. “No idea what to do about that, though.”

Carlos sighed and bit his lip. They could only hope that whoever took over the investigation from his father would find a way to figure it out. At least they could be sure that his parents’ house and Owen’s, which were the most obvious next targets, were safe.

***

Carlos stayed in the living room with Tommy until she had finished her wine. When Tommy decided to go back to bed, Carlos curled up around TK, but sleep didn’t come for him. He dozed off a couple of times, but every time TK moved or there was an unfamiliar sound in the strange house, he was wide awake again.

Morning came both too early and much too late at the same time. Carlos was just dozing off again after glaring at the light behind the window for a while when TK turned in his arms and wrapped an arm around his waist.

“None of that bullshit was a nightmare, was it?” TK mumbled and rubbed his nose against Carlos’ chest.

“You mean our fathers playing cat and mouse with an arsonist? Or them losing bitterly? Or the arsonist blowing up the 126 and then trying to burn us alive?”

TK groaned. “At least some of that could’ve stayed in my nightmares. Preferably the last two parts.”

“We didn’t lose our home,” Carlos reminded. “Thanks to you.”

“I still don’t remember what caught my attention there.” TK sighed and leaned back, a deep frown settling on his face as he watched Carlos. He raised his hand to trail his fingers over Carlos’ brow. “You look like you haven’t slept at all.”

Carlos shrugged. “Not much, no. But you look the same and you did sleep. So, I’m not accepting any judgment from you.”

TK smiled sadly. “No judgment, just worried.”

Carlos sighed deeply and rested his forehead against TK’s. “I had hoped your sleep was restful. You didn’t have any nightmares as far as I could tell.”

TK shrugged. “I don’t remember any. But I also don’t feel as if I really slept that much.”

“At least you have the day off,” Carlos said softly. He didn’t know yet how he would get through his own shift, but somehow he’d find a way to manage. He had gotten through shifts in the past while he had been in much worse shape.

“What’s in those photo albums you took out of the house with you?”

Carlos sucked in a breath and closed his eyes. “I told you about my friend Iris.”

TK chuckled. “The one you once planned to marry for some stupid reason? Which you thankfully didn’t do after all. And the one you went to Vegas with for your 21st birthday only for you both to come back with a huge and unexpected win?”

Carlos grinned. “Yeah, that friend exactly.”

He was grateful that TK concentrated on the humorous memories he had shared, not the painful ones about Iris going missing, about her being found in the end after they had already thought her dead, about Iris’ family making it impossible for Carlos to visit her since she had been found.

“Those are your mementos of your time spent together?” TK asked softly and Carlos just nodded silently. TK sighed. “You don’t have digital copies?”

“No.” Carlos frowned. “Iris liked taking photos the old-fashioned way. I have digital photos of her. But … they are on a hard drive that’s lying in the office upstairs. It wouldn’t have…”

TK huffed. “We are scanning those photos and then you are putting all of it on a cloud server! What if that hard drive gets corrupted? Why don’t you have more than one copy of these things?”

“One of those things I always thought to take care of the next time I’d have some free time, and then never got around to actually doing them.”

“I’ll probably have a lot of free time on my hands for the next couple of weeks,” TK said. “I guess I know what I’ll be doing.” He rolled onto his back and looked up at the ceiling. “I mean … we can’t ever secure everything we care about or that holds some sentimental value to us. But photos? There are so many ways now to keep those safe.”

“The most important thing is that we are safe,” Carlos whispered. He braced his elbow on the pillow and leaned his head on his hand while watching TK. “The thought of losing everything in the house, of losing the house itself, is horrible. But in the end, the only important thing is that you and I are alive and uninjured.”

“Doesn’t mean we can’t do anything to preserve the things that can be preserved,” TK muttered. “I feel so stupid.”

Carlos frowned. “Why?”

“Mateo is living with Dad because he lost his home to a fire,” TK whispered, still staring at the ceiling. “And I never … even contemplated that he probably lost a lot more than just a place to sleep until I called him yesterday and, in his panic at the thought of losing a second home, he was ready to risk his own life.”

Carlos swallowed. He remembered TK’s side of the call with Mateo the previous night, but he hadn’t really remembered the reason Mateo was staying with Owen.

“I never even asked him … All he did was complain about the stupidity of his old roommates,” TK continued. “I don’t think he ever mentioned how much he really lost in that fire. It’s so stupid that I never thought about it when I’ve spent most of my adult life dealing with residences burning down, seeing people’s lives destroyed by it. And I should have known Mateo well enough by now to know that he wouldn’t ask for help. He didn’t even admit to what happened until Dad found him sleeping at the 126!”

“Which means the fire at the 126 yesterday already was a reminder of his recent trauma,” Carlos said softly. “And then followed by the threat of possibly losing Owen’s house, too.”

“We need to take care of Mateo,” TK said. “I don’t even know if he was able to replace the necessities. While we were waiting yesterday, I kept thinking about what we would need to replace right away. And then my mind kept circling back to Mateo already being in that situation, but being completely alone with it.”

Carlos leaned over and kissed TK’s temple. “We’ll find out what he needs, and we’ll help him.”

TK nodded and turned his head to look at Carlos. “How did we end up in this mess? How did we end up on the radar of the arsonist?”

“I have no idea,” Carlos had to admit. He was burning to find that out, but doing so would probably mean shifting the boundaries he had been so careful to build recently.

“Was I too harsh to Dad last night?”

“Not from where I stood,” Carlos said with raised brows. “I wouldn’t have wanted to spend the night in his house. I’d have rather dealt with the hassle of finding a hotel room than dealing with Owen or my own father.”

“Mateo said he’d book the most expensive hotel in the city and let the Rangers pay for it if he needed to leave the house for the night,” TK said, chuckling.

Carlos huffed. “Nice thought, but they wouldn’t pay. He’d have more luck convincing Owen or Dad to pay for it and I can’t see that either.”

“I have no interest in facing my dad today,” TK whispered tiredly. “I’d just shout at him again. I’m so unbelievably angry. Not only that they somehow managed to paint a target on our backs, but also that they didn’t even contemplate that it would be possible! Dad said when he arrived at the 126 that the arsonist had hinted at several fires, right? And last night your father said one of the last things the guy said was he’d take away everything they cared for. Why didn’t they get the idea there could be a threat to everyone in their family until hours later? But Dad of course thought of the 126 right away!”

Carlos flinched. He didn’t have any other answer at the moment than that they both had gotten a pretty shitty deal with their fathers. It wasn’t the first time either of them was suffering for it, and at least for himself Carlos already knew that this time felt like there was no coming back from the damage done.

***

TK bit his lip and tried very hard not to let his irritation show on his face or in his body language. Robbins wasn’t at fault at all for the situation. Judging by how ashen his dark skin looked and how deep the lines around his eyes were this morning, Robbins and his team had spent most of the night if not all of it cleaning up the mess Owen and Gabriel were responsible for.

TK refused to shoot the messenger, no matter how infuriating it was to have to stand outside his home because Carlos and he were still not allowed to return to the house.

“Can you be sure you have found all the devices Raymond hid in the house?” Carlos asked after Robbins had explained how many they had found throughout the night.

For the moment, their house was still a crime scene and there were a dozen people in their home documenting all the traces of the attempted arson. Of which there were a lot because the fire had clearly been designed to not let them escape once it had started. A thought that made TK feel even more sick than all the strangers snooping through his home.

Robbins nodded. “We found the low-level signal they were connected through and used that to track every single box. I can promise you that we have found them all. Raymond was clever with the way he hid and placed them, but I don’t believe he had any backup plans for if his plot was discovered.”

“How can you be sure about that?” TK asked.

“Because from everything I know about this man, that backup plan would have been an immediate explosion when anyone tried to remove any of the boxes.” Robbins huffed. “It’s what I was expecting, honestly, which is the reason why it took us so long to remove them.”

TK exhaled slowly. “Thank you for all you did last night.”

Robbins smiled reassuringly. “Preventing a planned explosion or fire is always a reward on its own. I’ll send the report to Major Reyes as soon as it’s ready. Depending on some factors that might take some time. Since the suspect is dead and admitted his crimes, there is no real hurry for the report other than to get it off my desk. I was also told this morning they don’t expect any other traps to have been left behind anywhere.”

TK felt Carlos tense beside him. He turned to him, grabbing his wrist, and watched him worriedly.

“Are you telling me my father is still responsible for the investigation on the Rangers’ side?” Carlos asked coldly.

Robbins raised his brows. “He is.”

Carlos gritted his teeth and turned his head to the side. TK rubbed his thumb over Carlos’ wrist, but he didn’t have any words either. There were so many reasons why Gabriel should have been pulled from the case. But once more, Robbins was just the messenger.

“I also had a very brief conversation with your captain, Officer Reyes,” Robbins said after a moment, grinning now. “He told me he’s expecting you for your shift as you hadn’t called in for a personal day yet. He wanted to know if he needed to organize a uniform for you as your house isn’t available to you.”

Carlos groaned and rolled his head back.

“We found a uniform still wrapped up from the dry cleaner without any accelerant detected anywhere near it. It’s in the car and you can take it with you when you leave.”

TK grinned and leaned his shoulder against Carlos, still holding onto his wrist. It had been a worry for Carlos during breakfast, so in a way, this was a relief. But TK also understood the embarrassment of the situation. “Thank you. That’s very considerate of you and Captain Kendricks. When are we getting the house back?”

“Forensics should be done in a couple of hours,” Robbins said. “But the house needs to be thoroughly cleaned of the accelerant. We already ordered a cleaning service specializing in the substances used. They’ll start in the afternoon, but it might take them until late tomorrow afternoon as there is a lot to clean up.”

TK shuddered at the thought of even more strangers going through his home. “I take it you don’t recommend we clean it up ourselves?”

“No, absolutely not,” Robbins said firmly. “You might accidentally set your house on fire yourself because you don’t know what kind of chemicals you are dealing with. The APD is paying for the cleaning service, that’s already been arranged. Though, they might not pay for everything that needs to be replaced.”

“What needs to be replaced?” TK asked horrified at the same time Carlos asked, “The APD is doing what?”

Robbins sighed. “You aren’t the only one who is unhappy about Major Reyes remaining in charge. There are a lot of people who think this is a huge clusterfuck. Some of them just want to prevent you from suing. Others argue you are one of our own and deserve the support.”

Carlos huffed.

“Some advice off the record: Just take it. Don’t question it,” Robbins said. “And keep your head down over the next couple of months. Because even though Major Reyes is still leading the case right now, I expect there to be consequences eventually. Don’t let yourself be dragged into those.”

“I don’t plan to,” Carlos said stiffly.

TK huffed. “I have no problem letting the APD or, better yet the Rangers, pay for everything that’s going on in our house right now.” It was a relief, though, that they didn’t need to argue about it and TK would follow Robbins’ advice and just not question it. “What do you mean about things that need to be replaced?”

Robbins turned to him and sighed deeply. “Raymond used a couple of different accelerants all through the house. Not all of them reacted well with the material they were used on or will be able to be cleaned. You might need to replace some of your rugs. And your couch.”

“You are documenting all of this as well, right?” Carlos asked darkly.

“Yes, of course. You’ll get a copy for your insurance,” Robbins promised. “Your cars are both cleared, and you can use them.”

“Could we get some clothes?” TK asked. Tommy had lent them some of Charles’ things for the night, but now TK was wearing his uniform from the previous day again because that’s what he had been wearing when the 126 had been blown up, and he hadn’t felt comfortable accepting Tommy’s offer to lend him some more clothes for the day.

Robbins made a face. “I’m afraid not. We decided a while ago to just take your whole wardrobe to a dry cleaner. That’s easier than sorting through what has been drenched with accelerant and what hasn’t.”

TK winced. “Please just tell us where to pick it up again. Don’t try to sort that all back. Can I just say how much I hate that strangers are sorting through the most intimate parts of our lives? It’s making my skin itch to know how many strangers are touching my things. As much as I still appreciate everything you’re doing for us!”

Robbins smiled sadly. “I can only imagine how this feels. It’s not very comfortable for us to be in this situation either.”

TK just shrugged and turned to Carlos. “That means we have to do a little shopping before you start your shift.”

Carlos nodded and Robbins — probably sensing that they both had reached their limit — wrapped up their conversation in short order, giving them all the contact information they needed going forward and handing over Carlos’ uniform.

TK convinced Carlos that taking his Camaro would be enough, promising to pick Carlos up after his shift. So, TK settled himself in the passenger seat while Carlos drove them to the closest shopping mall. TK tried not to think about how far away they were from the lazy morning he’d once planned for the day.

At the first red light, Carlos turned around, looking for something in the back. “Ha! I thought so!”, he said triumphantly and grabbed something, dropping it in TK’s lap when he turned back around just as the light turned green.

The something turned out to be one of Carlos’ hoodies, and TK didn’t need to be told to swap his uniform shirt for the hoodie.

“This is great! Thank you!” TK cooed and buried his nose in the fabric. He really shouldn’t walk around in his uniform while off duty, and he had already mentally prepared himself for people expecting him to be on call while shopping for some clothes to change into.

Carlos chuckled. “And you still keep denying that you steal my hoodies!”

“I do not!” TK pouted. “They are comfy. And they smell like you. But I always give them back. Eventually.” Then he turned his head to grin at Carlos. “And I know for a fact that you love seeing me in your clothes.”

Carlos grinned and reached over to take TK’s hand. “I do.”

“How are you?” TK asked softly, wrapping both of his hands around Carlos’ hand.

Carlos sighed deeply but kept quiet until he had to pull his hand back to park the car. TK kept watching him, but he had no idea what might be going through the other’s head.

TK waited just long enough to give Carlos a chance to shut off the engine before he turned in his seat and put a hand on Carlos’ neck. “Hey, talk to me.”

“I honestly don’t know how I feel,” Carlos said. “I don’t think I’ve processed anything yet.”

TK smiled softly. “That’s fair.” He was sure that his own worries about Mateo — as justified and important as they were — was in part just a distraction so he didn’t have to deal with the turmoil of emotions that had completely overwhelmed him the previous night. Those emotions would eventually come back for him, and they would also eventually catch up with Carlos.

“I don’t even feel really angry about Dad still being on the case,” Carlos said. “Which is absolutely stupid, and I don’t know how he pulled it off. But somehow, I don’t feel I have enough energy left to feel anything about it.”

“That anger will come,” TK promised. “And I’ll be here to listen to your rants about it. And I’ll also be here if you just need a distraction or a good long hug. Or someone to push you into the closest bed because you are just so overwhelmed with everything you completely space out.”

TK barely remembered how they had gotten to Tommy’s house or anything else after he had gone off on his father. It was disconcerting, but at the same time, he was relieved that he could trust Carlos without question to take care of him. He’d give that back in any way he could.

Carlos chuckled and grabbed the front of TK’s hoodie to pull him over and into a much too short kiss. Then he leaned their foreheads together. “Let’s get done with the shopping. If we hurry, there should be enough time for lunch before I need to go to work.”

Chapter 06

TK was carrying the bags with Carlos’ and his new clothes when he stopped in front of his father’s house, remembering that his key was of course at home. After he rang the bell, he contemplated that it might even be better that he couldn’t just barge into the house to surprise Mateo with his visit.

Mateo was pulling his air pods out of his ears as he opened the door, and for a moment he just stared at TK with a blank face. Then he stepped to the side, gesturing TK inside. “Hey! Cap’s not home!”

TK smiled and shrugged. “I know. Saw his car by the precinct when I dropped off ‘Los. I’m not here for Dad anyway.”

Mateo blinked. “You’re not?”

“I’m here for you,” TK said. When Mateo shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other and lowered his gaze, TK raised the bags. “And also, to hijack Dad’s washing machine for our laundry. Because we aren’t allowed into our house for at least another day.”

Mateo laughed and rubbed his neck. “Yeah, sure. I’m running a load right now, but that should be done in half an hour or so. But aren’t those new clothes?”

“So?” TK stared at Mateo, horrified. “Please don’t tell me you wear new clothes without washing them first!”

Mateo frowned. “Why shouldn’t I? They are new!”

“Yes! So you have no idea who had them in their hands, who tried them on in the store, what chemicals from the manufacturing process are still clinging to them, or what happened to them when they were in the warehouse or being shipped!”

Mateo just blinked again. “But they are new.”

TK threw his hands in the air. “I can’t believe this!” He shook his head and looked around the room. “I’ll just try to forget that you wear virgin unwashed clothes right out of the shop!” He huffed and decided to change the topic. “Don’t tell me Dad left you to clean up here alone?”

“Owen’s got appointments the whole day,” Mateo said with a shrug. “And the chaos doesn’t put itself back in order.”

“It won’t,” TK agreed slowly. “But that doesn’t mean it’s your responsibility to clean up after Dad. Especially not alone.”

Mateo shrugged and rubbed a hand over his arm. “I mean, it’s the least I can do, right? Cap’s not accepting any offer I made for rent.”

TK rubbed a hand over his forehead. “And that’s making you feel indebted?”

Mateo shrugged again and stared at the ground.

“Okay. Let’s make tea and sit down to talk for a bit,” TK said. “I think Dad should at least be here to help with the clean up process because this whole mess is his fault anyway. But if you still feel like cleaning the house later on, I’ll help you.”

That wasn’t how TK had hoped to spend his day, but he also wouldn’t let Mateo deal with it alone. Especially since he already knew his father wouldn’t see a problem with his own behavior. TK could already see how Owen’s attention would focus solely on the 126 and he wouldn’t even wonder how the situation at his home had solved itself.

Mateo watched him carefully as TK dropped the bags in front of the laundry room and went to the kitchen. “Did I do something wrong?”

“What?” TK turned to him and took a deep breath. “No. I’m annoyed with Dad, not with you. And I’m sorry you got that from what I said. I need to apologize to you. That’s why I’m here. I’ve been a really shitty friend, and I shouldn’t have needed the wake-up call I got last night to recognize that.”

“What?” Mateo followed him and sat down on one of the stools at the kitchen island. “What are you talking about?”

TK sighed and braced his hands on the kitchen island across from where Mateo had sat down. He abandoned his plan to make them tea for the moment. “You lost your home and everything in it just a few weeks ago. And I didn’t think about what that had to mean for you for a single moment until I was threatened with being put in the same situation. That’s what I need and want to apologize for, though I haven’t figured out yet how to do that.”

Mateo shook his head. “You don’t need to apologize!”

TK sighed again and stared at Mateo until he returned his gaze. “Last night, I stood in front of my house and wondered whether I’d still have any of my possessions left by the end of the night, or if all that I would have would be the clothes on my back. Which was, by the way, the uniform I’d worn the whole day at work.”

Mateo winced.

“Did you have anything left after the fire at your apartment, Mateo?” TK asked softly.

Mateo didn’t look away, despite the tears gathering in his eyes. “Just the pajamas I was wearing.”

TK swallowed. “Yeah, I thought so. Did someone come by last night?”

“Paul and Marjan came over immediately when I called,” Mateo whispered. “They spent the rest of the night here after the house was cleared. None of us really slept, though.” He waved a hand around. “They helped clean up a little. It looked a lot worse after the bomb squad left than it does now.”

“I’m glad you weren’t alone,” TK said. “And I know I have no say about what my dad does, but I’m really sorry he didn’t come here to help you deal with the situation. There was no need for him to stay with Carlos and me.”

“You are his son, of course he stayed with you!” Mateo protested.

TK pulled his lips between his teeth and decided not to discuss how much Owen had never really been a father in TK’s life when it had mattered to TK, only ever when it had mattered to Owen. And last night TK had wished for more than just one reason that it hadn’t been important for Owen at that very moment.

“Are you comfortable living with Dad?” TK asked.

Mateo laughed. “Yeah. I mean, the first couple of days were a little strange, but it’s good here. I’d…” He shook his head. “I know I have to go look for something else eventually. But I’m not really…” He bit his lip and murmured very quietly, “Maybe I just won’t start looking until Cap asks about it.”

TK smiled, feeling stupidly relieved by that confession. Mateo’s earlier comment had made him worry about how he was dealing with living here, but clearly, there wasn’t as much to worry about as he had feared.

“Or maybe you talk with Dad about setting up an official agreement concerning rent and your part of the utilities, and you won’t need to look for another place,” TK said softly.

“You think that’s possible?”

TK nodded. “Dad’s often not good at communicating. You’ll need to learn how to deal with that if you want to continue this living arrangement. You didn’t answer my question earlier, about feeling uncomfortable because Dad won’t accept rent.”

Mateo shrugged. “That’s a pretty clear sign I’m just a guest here, right? And that I won’t be a guest indefinitely.”

“Or Dad just got it into his head that you have a lot of things to replace and he wants to support you financially without outright shoving money at you,” TK said with raised brows. “Because that’s the kind of guy he is when it comes to his crew.”

Mateo blinked and stared at him open-mouthed.

“Told you, Dad’s not good at communicating. Have you talked with him about everything you lost in the fire?”

Mateo shook his head. “Not really. But … I mean, he invited me here because he found me sleeping in the gym at the 126. And I came here with practically nothing.”

“And he’s dealt with seeing people losing their homes to fire for longer than you or I’ve been alive, so he’s probably not been as stupid as I was in overlooking that part of your situation,” TK said.

“You aren’t stupid,” Mateo muttered.

TK shrugged. “I feel pretty stupid right now. You should talk to Dad about this, you know? Ask him if he can imagine you moving in here permanently, and that you want to contribute to the bills of the house. I promise you, being direct about it will get through to him.”

“And if he tells me I should look for a new apartment for myself?” Mateo asked.

“Then I’ll help you look for a new apartment,” TK promised. “But I honestly don’t think he will. He was a pain in the ass about me moving out. And not because he doesn’t support me or my relationship with Carlos, but because he truly doesn’t want to be alone. You aren’t the only one profiting from living here.”

“You really think so?”

TK nodded.

“But won’t that take your place here away?”

TK laughed. “Did you move into my old room?”

Mateo shook his head.

“See.” TK shrugged. “And even if you had, I don’t plan to return here or even to spend a single night. I’m honestly very angry at Dad right now and it will take a long time to get through that.”

“Why are you angry?” Mateo asked.

TK sighed. “Because his boredom led to all this chaos that we are dealing with right now.” He made a wide gesture with his hand, though he didn’t just mean the chaos in this house, but also that in his own home and at the 126. But he wasn’t here to make Mateo angry at Owen, too.

After a moment TK turned and filled the kettle with water to finally brew the tea he had promised earlier. Mostly, he just needed something to do while he decided how to change the topic back to Mateo’s situation and offer him his help in a way the younger man wouldn’t just dismiss out of embarrassment.

“Is everything okay at your house?” Mateo asked. “Tommy texted me last night, but there wasn’t much information. And Cap seemed pretty out of it, so I didn’t ask him.”

TK sighed deeply. “As okay as it can be. They are sure they found everything the guy left behind to set fire. The accelerant he used still needs to be cleaned up, and we’ll apparently have to replace some furniture, but at this point, I don’t even really care about that anymore. The people cleaning the house arrived an hour ago.”

“And it will take them until tomorrow to clean the house?” Mateo asked aghast.

“That’s what I’ve been told,” TK said. “Just more strangers in my house going through everything I’d never want a stranger or even my friends to see! But overall, it’s still better than the alternative.”

TK had already made a list in his head of everything he’d want to replace just because strangers had touched it. None of it would be anything horribly important, but it was still just another thing to take care of. And probably another point on the ever-growing list his therapist would want to address with him.

“Yeah,” Mateo whispered.

“How are you doing with replacing your stuff?” TK asked. “And dealing with insurance?”

Mateo huffed. “What insurance? None of us in that house had anything like that. And our landlord is suing for compensation. At least everyone’s fair enough to point out that I had no part in their stupid decisions, so I should get out of it without being settled with a huge debt.”

For a moment, TK felt like he was falling into a deep, dark hole. “Damn it! Do you have a lawyer?”

Mateo shrugged.

“I’ll take that as a no,” TK said. “We are getting you a lawyer, Mateo. Because you don’t deserve that! And you can’t trust your former roommates or the courts to treat you fairly once they realize how much they’ll owe your old landlord.”

“Not sure I can afford that,” Mateo whispered.

“We’ll find a way,” TK said. “Owing your lawyer a couple grand at the end will still be much less than whatever will come your way should your old roommates throw you under the bus!”

Mateo shrugged.

“And replacing your things?” TK asked.

Mateo made a face. “I hate shopping! And nothing is … Honestly, I just got enough to get by a couple of days at a time.”

TK didn’t turn around, concentrating on pouring the water into the teapot and giving Mateo the illusion of some privacy by not looking at him. “Maybe it will help if you aren’t alone?”

Mateo sighed deeply.

“Just think about it,” TK said quietly. “I’m sure Paul or Marjan or Nancy would go with you, too, if you need some company while shopping for anything.”

Mateo cleared his throat. “Maybe.”

“They came here to be with you, right?” TK said as he turned around and put the teapot on the kitchen island before sitting down on one of the stools himself. “And they stayed the whole night. We are a team on and off the job, Mateo.”

“I never had that before,” Mateo whispered. “Not easy to get used to.”

“You will get used to it,” TK promised with a soft smile.

“What do you think will happen with the team though?” Mateo asked. “It will probably be months until they can open the 126 again, right? I went there this morning, and right now the investigators are all over it. We can’t even go in to start rebuilding ourselves.”

TK chuckled because rebuilding themselves was something he could see all of them doing. Even Judd, no matter how angry he had been in the beginning about the changes Owen had brought to the fire station before reopening it.

“We might not work together for a little while,” TK admitted. “They can’t just slot us as a whole into another station. But I don’t think they’ll take that much time to reopen the 126. If they could afford to close the station because they can cover the area through other stations, they wouldn’t have brought Dad here to rebuild it in the first place.”

Mateo made a face. “So, we’ll probably be separated. Everyone else at the AFD hates me, TK! They all know me because I wouldn’t give up trying again and again.”

“And you showed them all where to shove their bigotry by acing that test in the end,” TK said. “And by growing into a good firefighter. Our team will have your back, no matter where each of us ends up working for the time being, okay?”

Mateo watched him for a moment before a shaky smile spread over his face. “Yeah, okay.”

***

TK leaned against the counter in Tommy’s kitchen and watched Carlos with Izzy, Evie, and Charles over by the couch. The girls knew their father had been in the hospital, but they didn’t know the severity of the procedure he had undergone. They hadn’t been worried about him, being sheltered from Tommy’s worry as well by spending the past week with their grandparents and aunt, and so they had dragged their new friend over to their father as soon as Tommy and Charles had come home.

“Thanks for pitching in with the girls,” Tommy said softly as she stopped beside him, squeezing his shoulder with one hand.

“Any time,” TK assured her with a smile. “And not just because you let us stay here for the last two days. Whatever you need, we are here to help.”

After TK and Carlos had spent a second night in Tommy’s guestroom, they had finally been allowed back inside their own home. They had just been at home, getting a new set of keys since Carlos had insisted on the locks being changed too, and getting a run down about the cleaning done in the house and on everything that had been damaged by the accelerant when Tommy had called them.

There had been some kerfuffle at the hospital the day before. TK didn’t know the details and he really didn’t care, but the security issues following that incident had led to Charles being released hours later than had been planned. So, Carlos and TK had ended up looking after Tommy’s twins while she had picked up Charles from the hospital to bring him home.

Tommy sighed. “Inviting the two of you to stay with me was as much for selfish reasons as it was to help you. Having the house empty was horrible. I’m not looking forward to Izzy and Evie growing up and leaving one day.”

“Your girls are a delight,” TK said because he didn’t know how else to distract her from that thought which probably every parent battled with.

Tommy chuckled and leaned against the counter right next to TK, turning to watch her family and Carlos. “I’m wondering if it was a mistake not to tell them what was going on. Is still going on, really. Charles will need some time to get back to full health. He’s already exhausted just from getting home, and they see that.”

“You sheltering your children is not a bad thing,” TK murmured. “I think you did a really good thing, and I’m glad your parents and your sister supported you in keeping them away from Charles’ surgery and your worry. Knowing their dad is sick for the moment but will get better is so much better than knowing their dad could have died without any warning.”

Tommy sighed.

“I wish I hadn’t seen a lot of things my dad went through after 9/11,” TK whispered. “I really wasn’t old enough to understand his grief or his depression. Or my mother’s anger. So, putting myself in Izzy and Evie’s shoes, I think you did them a favor. And they might eventually be angry with you for a little while when they learn about it in ten, twenty years, but I think they’ll also be grateful they didn’t have to deal with these emotions right in this moment.”

“Thank you.”

“How is Charles doing?” TK asked.

“Good,” Tommy said softly. “Annoyed by how quickly he gets exhausted, but that will pass. Happy to be home again. I’m happy he is home again. The whole situation with not being able to visit him was horrible.”

TK nodded silently.

“Carlos is good with them,” Tommy said after a moment of silence.

TK chuckled. “They saw him and fell in love! But yes, he is also very good with them.”

“Does that make you wonder about the future?” Tommy asked with a soft smile.

TK raised his brows and turned his head to her. “About what exactly?”

“Are there children in your future?” Tommy asked. “Or at least the plan for them.”

“That’s not a topic Carlos and I have talked about yet,” TK admitted.

This time it was Tommy who raised her brows. “You moved in with Carlos but you haven’t talked about the future either of you sees for himself?”

“Don’t know,” TK shrugged. “Just didn’t come up.”

“Okay. Then I’m changing my question a little bit. Do you personally see children in your future, with or without Carlos?”

TK sighed and turned his head to watch Carlos again. “I’d like that,” he admitted after a moment. “But it’s not something I’ve any kind of concrete plans for.”

He truly hadn’t even thought about it much, because for the longest time, he hadn’t felt he was in a position where he would have felt comfortable adding children to the mix. But then Enzo had brought up his concerns for TK’s little brother and his idea for contingency plans. Somehow that had put thoughts in TK’s head that went much farther than being there for his brother should the worst happen. He had watched Carlos this afternoon, and it had been so easy to envision another set of children, ones who called Carlos Dad or Papi.

“Definitely something you need to talk about with Carlos,” Tommy said. “Being good with children doesn’t mean he necessarily wants to have children of his own. That’s the kind of thing that makes or breaks relationships, TK.”

TK stared at Carlos. “It wouldn’t be a dealbreaker for me. If he doesn’t want to have children, I mean. It’s not something I need to be happy.”

That was the only thing he was sure about. The only thing he had been sure about since his last conversation with Enzo. It would be nice, of course, and seeing Carlos with Izzy and Evie made him yearn in a way TK hadn’t ever experienced before, but that was less about having children of his own and more about having children with Carlos.

Tommy hummed. “It’s good to know that about yourself. Still, probably not a topic you should avoid for much longer.”

TK laughed. “We didn’t avoid it! It honestly just didn’t come up!”

Tommy gestured to her family and Carlos. “Maybe this is the perfect time for it to come up!”

“After we just were exiled from our home for two days, honestly?”

Tommy shrugged. “More importantly, after you just spend a whole afternoon entertaining two girls and clearly having a good time with it.”

TK cleared his throat, but he was thankfully saved from having to find an answer by Izzy running over to them and declaring that they were all ready for dinner and asking if they could order pizza as her dad wasn’t able to cook.

Carlos and TK ended up staying for pizza at the twins’ insistence, and had to promise to come back soon to play with them again. TK had no doubt that the girls had very thoroughly slotted them into the role of uncles, but he really didn’t have any problem with that.

“Home, sweet home!” Carlos said with a deep sigh when they finally came home much later in the evening than they had expected.

TK sniffed the air and made a face. “We need to open all windows! Leave the door open for a while, too. It didn’t smell this badly of the cleaning agents when we were here earlier!”

“The crew of the cleaning service also had been airing out the house with all the windows open,” Carlos said with raised brows. “We are closing the door, but yes, let’s open every single window.”

“So, just for the record, I don’t care how badly it smells here of too much fake citrus, we’ll find a way to sleep here! I’m not letting ourselves be exiled from our home another night!”

Carlos laughed and grabbed TK’s hips, pulling him in for a heated kiss. “Yeah?”

TK chuckled. “Okay, what did I do?”

“It’s just still very exciting to hear you call this our home instead of my home,” Carlos whispered against his lips. “Makes me stupidly happy.”

TK wrapped his arms around Carlos’ neck. “Good to know.”

“It’s too late to take care of anything today,” Carlos said. “Let’s just call it a night. Going through the list of damages the cleaning service left us with can wait until tomorrow.”

“That sounds like a great plan!” TK agreed. “Honestly, Tommy asking for help with the girls felt like a blessing because I didn’t want to deal with it earlier either.”

Carlos sighed and kissed TK’s temple. “At some point we have to. But that can be tomorrow.” He grabbed TK’s hand and pulled him up the stairs.

“Tomorrow sounds good,” TK agreed. And then, remembering Tommy’s words, he added, “You were really good with Izzy and Evie. Have you ever thought about children of your own?”

Carlos’ steps faltered and TK tugged on his hand to keep him from falling up the stairs. He didn’t say anything, though, until they reached the top of the stairs. “I … have not. Have you?”

TK bit his lip because the way Carlos looked at him with wide eyes spoke of a deeper meaning in Carlos’ answer. “I mean, only in very abstract terms. As something that would be nice one day in the future. Until today that is. Watching you with the twins kind of made me think in very concrete terms about raising children with you.”

Carlos sucked in a breath and shook his head. “No.”

“Okay,” TK said slowly. He sighed and walked into the bedroom without letting go of Carlos’ hand. This clearly wasn’t a conversation to be had on the stairs. “So, you don’t want to have children at all?”

Carlos laughed listlessly. “I’d be a horrible father. Not gonna ruin any kid with that.”

TK’s heart broke a little at that confession, mostly because he thought that Carlos’ words spoke of a desire for children after all, but that he had somehow convinced himself he didn’t deserve them. TK cursed Tommy out in his head because he felt he had just stumbled over a very huge topic they’d need to deal with carefully, and now really wasn’t the time for that.

“I don’t think you’d be a bad father,” TK said because he didn’t know what else to say.

Carlos scoffed and pulled his hand away from TK. He stared at him for a moment and then sat down on the bed. “Is this … I mean…”

“I’m not hellbent on one day having children,” TK said with a sad smile. “But I’d not be opposed to it, either.”

“Then why bring it up?” Carlos asked with an unhappy frown.

“Because it’s a conversation we needed to have eventually.” TK sat down beside Carlos, leaving enough space between them not to crowd him. “And when I talked to Enzo the other day … Oh damn!” He rubbed his fingers over his eyes. “I need to call Enzo and Mom. Before Dad calls Mom and only tells her half of what’s been going on. Which will lead to one of them showing up here because they know him too well and won’t believe a word when he says everything’s fine!”

“Okay.” Carlos chuckled, and it sounded very confused.

TK waved a hand. “Something else to do tomorrow. It’s too late in New York now to call. Anyway, I talked to Enzo. He is very worried about everything with Mom’s pregnancy.”

“Rightfully so,” Carlos said quietly. “I know you are worried, too.”

TK nodded. “But he’s also worried about everything afterward. Including being in his mid-fifties and worrying about having a young human dependent on him for the next twenty years or so.”

“He’ll be seventy before your brother finishes high school.” Carlos stared at him wide-eyed, and TK felt his own shock about that realization mirrored in Carlos. Enzo hadn’t spelled it out in that much detail, and TK hadn’t done the math either.

“Right? That’s a really scary thought,” TK said. “For him, too. And he also pointed out that he might not be … He fears something might happen to Mom and him or just one of them before my brother is old enough to take care of himself. Which I think means in Enzo’s eyes being finished with college and having a job.”

Carlos chuckled. “Fair. I really don’t think anyone who’s only just finished high school should be considered or forced to be able to care for themselves. They are barely adults at that point. It’s a prime time for making dumb decisions.”

“Enzo asked me if I would take guardianship of my brother if something happened to him and Mom,” TK blurted out hurriedly because he felt he was letting himself be distracted. “Even if they just become unable to physically care for a minor.”

“Oh.” Carlos sighed deeply and lowered his gaze.

“I didn’t tell him one way or another yet,” TK continued. “He also really just asked me to think about it. And we’d of course hope something like this won’t ever be necessary. I don’t even know how to create a good relationship with my brother with us being here and them being in New York.”

“You should do it,” Carlos said softly. “He’s your brother, and Enzo’s worries are valid. It will make his and your mother’s life a lot easier to know someone they can trust will be there in the worst-case scenario.”

TK watched Carlos silently for a moment before he scooted over and cradled Carlos’ face with his hands. “You remember what you just said to me downstairs?”

Carlos frowned. “What?”

TK sighed. “It’s our house. It’s our life. That means this decision is something we need to make together, too.”

Carlos bit his lip.

“It’s not a decision we need or should make now,” TK said. “I also don’t think it’s really the right time to think about it right now in this very moment with everything that happened over the last couple of days. But it’s been on my mind.”

“Of course it has,” Carlos murmured with a soft smile.

“And now we both know it’s a decision we’ll have to make in the next couple of months,” TK said. He felt he needed to give them both an out, to give them both a chance to end this topic and gather their thoughts on their own before coming back to this conversation. “So, we’ll each take time to think about it on our own, and at one point we’ll have a conversation about it. Or several conversations. Maybe each of us should have a conversation in therapy about it, too. And we’ll talk through both our reservations and make a decision we can both live with in a little while.”

“Do you have reservations?” Carlos asked hesitantly, sounding surprised.

TK huffed. “Yes, of course! A ton of them! Despite my heart telling me the same thing you did just now, that of course I should do this because it’s my brother and it’s my papa asking. Doesn’t mean it’s necessarily a good idea. Or the right choice for us or my brother. But we have time to think about it and talk about it at length before making any decisions.”

Carlos nodded slowly, worrying his lip between his teeth.

TK sighed and wished for a moment he could go back and undo bringing up this whole topic at all tonight. He really should have gone with his gut instead of allowing Tommy’s words to change his mind.

Eventually, Carlos exhaled slowly and put one hand on TK’s neck. “It’s a lot to think and talk about. And you are right, we shouldn’t do it now.”

TK grinned sheepishly. “I think I might have ruined the mood a little with the topic.”

Carlos blinked, and then he laughed. “I’m sure we can bring the mood back up. We have enough reason to celebrate being able to be in our own bed again!”

TK chuckled as Carlos pulled him into a kiss.

---