Reading Time: 95 Minutes

Title: Storm
Series: The Body is a Work of Heart
Series Order: 2
Author: EAlexBeau
Fandom: 9-1-1
Genre: Established Relationship, Family, Kid!fic, Pre-Relationship, Pregnancy, Romance
Relationship(s): Evan Buckley/Tommy Kinard, Shannon Whitt/Sal DeLuca, Eddie Diaz/Marisol
Content Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Hate Speech. Single instance of anti-vaxxer mom, Non-Graphic Child Birth, Character Bashing
Author Note: I’m gonna start it right now, Eddie is not a great guy in this. Throughout season seven I fully believe Eddie was mentally spiraling, long before he saw Kim. I wanted to explore how his mental status affected his parenting and relationships. But after this season? Yeah, I don’t look upon him very favorably. Beyond that I do have two big jump scares her. One with a minor character suspected of being exposed to measles because of unvaccinated children and that same minor character being believed to be kidnapped at one point. Neither of these happen, but there is the temporary worry that they have.
Word Count: 39,582
Summary: With the help of his best friend, older brother, and his pushy therapist, Evan Buckley survived his son Isaac’s pregnancy and now he wants another baby, but there’s a few problems. One, Eddie is dating someone new now and firmly doesn’t want a third child. Two, Buck craves a life partner, not just a co-parent. Three, he has a massive crush on an old friend of his soon-to-be brother-in-law. The universe might just have a few tricks up it’s sleeve for him.
Artist: Drake
Artist Appreciation: A round of applause for this gorgeous artwork everybody! Gotta admit I made this story’s cover my laptop background!

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CHAPTER ONE

When Buck had suggested a full family dinner to meet Shannon’s new boyfriend, he’d expected some resistance to the idea. Maddie, who had come over while Buck was planning the menu to pick up a toy Jee had left after a playdate with Isaac, felt it wasn’t Buck and Daniel’s place to be there. She’d made it clear that in her opinion only Eddie and Chris should be present at this dinner. Buck’s position as Shannon’s best friend and her ex-husband’s baby daddy or Daniel’s place as a key member of their household hadn’t mattered. But after Maddie, Buck had expected Chris to be the one most against the dinner based on the reaction to Eddie dating for the first time after the divorce. But Chris was excited.

No, the most resistance ended up coming from Eddie.

“Why are we having a big dinner again?” the older man grumbled for the hundredth time.

“Because you two have been separated for four years and divorced for three. Yet, this is the first time Shannon’s ever introduced us to anyone. They’ve been dating for six months and she’s serious about him. It’s better to introduce him to our personal brand of insanity now before they get any deeper,” Buck also answered for the hundredth time. Buck wasn’t in a very good mood himself. Eddie was annoying him, Isaac had pitched a tantrum because Buck needed to cook with his favorite toys, and he had been suffering from acid reflux and lower back pain for days. The last two were probably caused by all the time Buck had spent bent over a stove or in an oven in the past couple of days.

“No one made such a big deal when I started dating Ana,” Eddie argued, trying to distract a still grouchy Isaac.

Buck gave his best friend a sideyed glare at the mention of his ex-girlfriend. “Don’t bring that witch up. You know how I feel about her and what she put our family through.”

“Sorry,” Eddie apologized, though rolling his eyes took away from the sincereness of the apology.

“Daddy, pot,” Isaac whimpered from Eddie’s arms.

“Daddy needs the pot to cook, little guy,” Buck cooed looking over at the toddler. His golden curls, much lighter than Bucks but sure to darken like his own did as he got older, were a true mess. His eyes were a watery brown, remnants of the tears from when Buck took the pot and wooden spoon from his son’s grasp. Isaac’s face was a pale pink, a vast improvement from the bright red of exertion from just a few minutes before. In short, his child was a hot mess.

“Daddy’s making mashed potatoes,” Eddie cheered, bouncing Isaac on his hip. “You love mashed potatoes, mijo.”

“Papi ’tatoes?” Isaac asked.

“The potatoes aren’t done yet, but you can have some with dinner,” Buck promised, not sure how much the toddler understood. “Which is in thirty minutes, so could you take Isaac to clean him up?” he directed toward Eddie.

“My question stands,” Eddie stated instead.

Buck sigHed, knowing he would have to be honest with Eddie and dreading it because Eddie didn’t take criticism well. “Well, for one it was the middle of Covid. Two, we had just found out I was pregnant with Isaac. And three, Shannon and I had our concerns about Ana from the skateboard incident. It didn’t help that you just speed ran introducing her to everyone as your girlfriend.”

“Wow. Tell me how you really feel.”

“You’re the one who asked! Look, I don’t like her. I don’t like what Ana put me through so soon after giving birth. It was also your first relationship after the divorce and no one expected it to last,” Buck explained, stirring the boiling potatoes and checking on the carrots he was steaming for Isaac.

“And this is Shannon’s first relationship since the divorce,” Eddie pointed out.

“No, she’s dated casually, this is just the first time it’s been serious enough to introduce him to us,” Buck admitted. “Shannon didn’t tell you because she had no plans to introduce Chris to any of her partners and she didn’t want to hurt you by talking about her casual partners.”

“I don’t know what to say,” Eddie whispered as he dodged Isaac’s attempt to slap his check.

“Dad!” Chris interrupted them. ”Marisol is here and Mom and Sal will be here soon! Why aren’t you dressed yet?”And Eddie really wasn’t dressed, still wearing his old shorts and tank top from a workout.

“Hey guys,” Marisol greeted as she followed Chris into the kitchen. “Something smells good!”

“Boneless braised short ribs, roasted asparagus, mashed potatoes, and some steamed carrots for Isaac,” Buck listed. “Shannon and Sal are bringing a strawberry cheesecake for dessert.”

“Yum! Do you want me to take Isaac while you get ready?” she offered to Eddie.

“Nah, I got him,” Daniel declared as he swooped in just long enough to grab Isaac and toss him in the air before leaving the kitchen again, Eddie following after him to clean himself up as well.

“Thanks, Marisol, but we’ve got everything handled. You’re welcome to keep me company while I finish cooking,” Buck offered. “And Chris, could you please do me a favor and make sure Isaac’s toys are picked up in the living room?”

“Sure, Buck!” One perk of not being Chris’ parent was that for whatever reason, Chris was more willing to listen to him about helping out around the house and with Isaac.

With Chris out of the kitchen, Buck was now alone with Marisol. Truthfully Buck didn’t want Marisol alone with his baby. She and Eddie had been dating for almost eight months but Buck barely knew her. This wasn’t like when Buck and Eddie were first talking about co-parenting and Buck mentioned disagreeing about sleepovers. Buck was talking about when Isaac was old enough to communicate and only for one night, short term. Marisol was Eddie’s girlfriend. Her helping with Isaac’s care at this age in that capacity was a long term situation. Buck simply wasn’t comfortable with that as they currently stood.

“I can set the table,” she counter offered.

“That’s one of Christopher’s chores, so he’ll do that closer to when we eat.”

“Are you sure that you don’t need me to help with anything?”

“Like I said, just keep me company, we’ve got everything else handled!” Buck reiterated. Instead, Marisol told him that she was going to go check on Eddie, leaving Buck alone. Buck wasn’t surprised. He would make offers and overtures to spend time together or hang out in a group but Marisol 12 would turn him down or focus on other people in the group.

Buck only had a few minutes to spiral before Shannon was just walking through the front door, calling out, “Hello family!”

“Hey, Shannon! I’m in the kitchen!” Buck called back, poking the potatoes and carrots to check how soft they were.

“Buck, I want to introduce you to my boyfriend, Sal Deluca, Sal, this is my best friend, Evan Buckley. He and Eddie, my ex, are Isaac’s dads,” Shannon introduced. “Everyone calls him Buck.”

“Nice to meet you, Buck,” Sal greeted. ”Shannon’s told me a lot about you guys.” The two men quickly shook hands before Buck turned back to the stove.

“Good, so you have some warning for the insanity you’re about to experience,” Buck chuckled.

“Mmm. Shannon did tell me that your family situation was unique. If I’m being honest, I’m hoping that one day you’ll all include me as part of that family.”

“You’re off to an impressive start,” Buck told the older man as he drained the potatoes and dropped softened butter and sour cream into the pot. “Hey, Shan, can you grab me a bowl so I can put some aside for Isaac? He doesn’t need all of the garlic and herbs I’m going to add to this.”

“Here you go,” she said, easily navigating the kitchen like it was her own. “How goes Operation Get to Know Marisol?”

“I told her if she wanted to help she could keep me company while I cook and she went to find Eddie instead,” Buck complained. “I’m debating sitting her and Eddie down and just bluntly telling them the more she blows me off, the less I want her around Isaac.”

“It’s clear she’s making the effort with Chris and Eddie. But I wonder if because I let Chris set the boundaries for their relationship and stay out of it makes her think she can do the same with Isaac,” she thought aloud. “Completely ignore that you actually are Isaac’s dad and you get to set those boundaries right now.”

“If that is what’s going on, then maybe I should talk to them,” Buck grumbled as he furiously mashed the potatoes a second time, mixing in the garlic and fresh herbs he’d prepped ahead of time.

“Okay, little brother, your monster is all clean!” Daniel cheered as he led a toddling Isaac into the kitchen.

“T-Shan!” Isaac called, running over to Shannon while Daniel and Sal introduced themselves.

“Isaac!” she called back, swooping him up and blowing a raspberry on his chubby check. “Sal, this is Buck and Eddie’s son, Isaac. Isaac, buddy this is my friend Sal.”

“Hi!” Isaac giggled, clearly in a socialization mood. It was a fifty-fifty shot if he would be shy or a social butterfly when meeting someone new. “Daddy, tatoes!” the toddler informed his aunt.

“I see Daddy’s making potatoes,” Shannon agreed. “We can eat them with dinner.”

“Mom!” Chris called. Clearly yelling was just part of living in their home. “I didn’t hear you come in.”

“It’s okay, Chris, I haven’t been here long. And you looked a little busy on your phone,” she told her son with a raised eyebrow and a teasing smile.

Knowing how important the following moment was, Buck took Isaac back and tried to give Shannon, Chris, and Sal some privacy. Daniel was clearly of the same mind, busying himself with covering the potatoes to keep them warm while Buck started the gravy with one hand. That didn’t stop the brothers from hearing everything, though.

“Chris, this is Sal DeLuca. We’ve been dating for a couple of months. Sal, this is my son, Christopher.”

“Hi, Christopher. I’m happy to finally meet you. Your mom talks about you all of the time.”

“It’s nice to meet you, too. Mom said you’re a firefighter like my Dad and Buck?”

“I’m a captain at the One- Twenty-Two. What house does your dad work at?”

“He and Buck work at the One-Eighteen!”

“I actually used to work there about ten years ago.”

“You’re that Sal! Hen and Chimney talk about you sometimes. I think Chimney mentioned something about going out for drinks after shift?” Buck questioned.

“We used to go out with another guy from our shift, Tommy. Before Nash tried to fire me,” Sal grumbled.

“I want to defend him because Bobby is basically my father at this point, but he wasn’t making the best choices back then and definitely fucked up on that call.” Buck really hoped they could leave it there. He didn’t want Sal to know that the kid he had almost lost his career to save had nearly killed Buck. Not that Buck would have done any different than Sal.

By some miracle, Eddie and Marisol Finally joined them, a little dishelved and flushed. There were quick introductions and then Chris was setting the table and the adults were bringing the food in.

“Papi, juice pease,” Isaac requested.

“Here you go, mijo,” Eddie handed over Isaac’s Bluey sippy cup.

“So, Chris calls you Dad, but Isaac calls you Papi?” Sal asked.

“We tried when Chris was little for him to call me Papi or Papa. But my mom kept calling me Daddy and it stuck. Then we decided to be consistent and have me be Daddy and Buck be Papa, but my Tia Kept calling me Papi and Buck Daddy and that stuck with Isaac, ” Eddie explained.

“Well at least they were consistent in not following your plans!” Sal laughed.

“True!”

“So, Buck, how go your attempts at baby number two?” Shannon asked during a quieter moment toward the end of dinner.

Buck groaned. “Slow. I went off T five months ago but my period still hasn’t returned and I can’t move forward until it does. If we reach six months, then Dr. Emerson wants to run some tests.”

“Is this really an appropriate conversation for dinner?” Marisol interrupted.

Shannon rolled her eyes, but gamely dropped the topic of periods.

“I didn’t know you guys were trying to have another baby,” Sal commented trying to break the tension between the two women and Buck.

“Oh, I’m the only one trying to have another baby,” Buck corrected.

“I’m good with two kids and I was single when Buck and I decided to have a baby.” Oh, Marisol did not look happy.

“What about you two? Any plans to have kids of your own?” Marisol questioned, trying to turn the conversation away from her and Eddie.

“We haven’t talked about it yet.” Shannon was diplomatic in her answer, but Buck knew his friend was uncomfortable.

Buck knew that Shannon was terrified of having another child or going through another pregnancy. She wanted more children, but during one of their many wine nights with Karen Wilson, she admitted to considering fostering or adopting, still deeply affected by her birth trauma and the PPD that went untreated for years. But Shannon didn’t want to bring another child into her life while she was single and not until she finished school and was established as a nurse midwife. It was ultimately a very personal topic that was none of Marisol’s business.

“How about dessert,” Sal suggested, obviously catching on to Shannon’s discomfort too.

Dessert was a painfully awkward affair, Sal, Daniel, and Buck doing their best to carry the conversation amongst Shannon and Marisol’s standoff and Eddie’s brooding. It was a relief when Shannon and Sal gave Buck their compliments on the meal and said their goodbyes. Marisol was apparently planning to stay the night, so Buck left her and Eddie to put away the very few leftovers while he went through Isaac’s bedtime routine.

Buck couldn’t catch Eddie alone during their shift the next day, but they had a ‘friend date’ planned for after the shift. There had been several jokes soon after Isaac’s birth about how one positive of not being a couple was that they didn’t need to worry about ‘losing the romance.’ Those jokes only caused new worries for Buck, that the friendship their decision to have a baby together was based on would be lost. To help calm Buck’s worries, Eddie had suggested that they make time every week to just hangout. Either they went out on a ‘friend date’ or they just took an hour at home to share a drink and talk about something other than their son. Just taking that time to be themselves and maintain their friendship. This week they had agreed to go out and it was Buck’s turn to pick.

“Hey, so I was thinking we could grab some food at Mickey’s tonight,” Buck suggested as they were changing at the end of their shift.

“Raincheck? Marisol and I are helping her brother with something and then we’re crashing at her place since Chris is with Shannon.”

“It’s your Isaac day. You’re supposed to take care of him and do his daily routines,” Buck reminded his partner, wondering if he was so distracted by the shift that he genuinely forgot. “And I’m not sure if I’m comfortable with him around power tools or spending the night in an unfamiliar place.”

“Can we switch? I’ll take Isaac tomorrow,” Eddie compromised.

“We were supposed to go out with Bobby and Athena tomorrow for lunch, but I guess I can see if they want to do dinner tonight instead. Just don’t forget we have group and then drinks with Kendra and Paige after our next shift.”

“How could I forget when I’ve got you here to remind me?” Eddie teased as he picked up his bag to sling over his shoulder and head out, not bothering to wait for Buck since they drove separately for once.

Unfortunately, what Buck had hoped would be a one off, just Eddie being a little scatterbrained after Sal’s near disastrous introductory dinner, kept happening. Eddie made it to their support group, but only when they also had plans with Paige and Kendra. He made it to none of the dinners they rescheduled for their friend dates, but then kept needing rainchecks for his rainchecks. What Buck worried about the most though was that Eddie switched Isaac days or got a babysitter four times in the two weeks since the big dinner. Now Bobby and Athena were on their belated honeymoon, Hen was acting captain, and Buck was determined to nail Eddie down so they could talk.

“So, Daniel wants to take Isaac for tonight and I found this go-carting place out in the desert. You in?”

“Sorry, Marisol and I are chaperoning Chris’ first date at the house tonight.”

“Chris has a date tonight?” This was the first Buck had heard about it, despite the date apparently happening at their house.

“Eh, sorta. Penny is coming over and they’re playing video games. Back in my day, the first date was usually a movie.”

“And by that you mean you took Shannon to a movie for your first date,” Buck translated, rolling his eyes.

“It’s a classic date. Low pressure, intimate, parents can chaperone at a distance.”

“Well Chris and Penny enjoy video games making that their first date is low pressure too. As for intimacy, I don’t think they’re old enough to fully understand what that is,” Buck countered as he followed Eddie out to his Jeep.

“I mean, I guess. I just don’t get kids these days,” Eddie complained.

“Man, when Isaac starts dating, you’re going to be so lost!” Buck teased.

“I don’t even want to think about my baby dating,” Eddie pouted.

“Well considering he was just doing that newborn scrunch yesterday and now he’s insisting on putting his own shoes on, he’ll be dating before we know it,” Buck warned, starting the Jeep to head home.

Deciding to take advantage of Daniel wanting Isaac for the night (and wanting to give the Diaz’s their space), Buck offered to take the Wilson’s out for dinner. His friends were glowing and Buck was so excited for them as they told him all about the preparations they had been masking for the new baby.

Buck wished he’d stuck around the house instead when Eddie cornered him during a call for a burned car to get his advice on Chris apparently texting multiple girls.

“Please don’t imply that enjoying casual sex while single is a bad thing. I got enough of the slut shaming before I started dating Abby, I don’t need it from you,” Buck grit out when Eddie suggested Buck might connect with Chris better because of his history as a so-called womanizer. “And FYI, talking up multiple girls at once and having no strings attached one night stands are not the same thing.”

“I’m not trying to slut shame you,” Eddie denied. “I’m just saying, I married the first woman I dated. I’m a nester, I’m all in from the get go.”

“Since I don’t know when I’ll get another chance, I’m just gonna say it,” Buck decided aloud. “I hope Isaac approaches relationships more like I do and less like you. Being a ‘nester’ may work for you, but it puts a lot of pressure on your relationships and you get so invested so quickly that you miss red flags and assume you know enough to skip crucial steps in building the foundation of a relationship.”

“There’s nothing wrong with only being in committed relationships. And I haven’t missed ‘red flags’ or skipped steps!”

“You’re right, there is nothing wrong with committed relationships, but I’m saying that you seem to think being committed from the get go means you don’t have to put in the work. And yeah, you didn’t miss Ana’s red flags, you straight up ignored them. But you are skipping steps with Marisol, considering her reaction to you saying you don’t want more kids.”

“I feel like it’s obvious that I don’t want more kids since I decided not to help you have another baby.” Buck wasn’t sure if he wanted to pat Eddie’s cheek and coo at the genuine look of confusion on his face, so similar to Isaac’s, or slap him upside the head at his naivité.

“No, Eds, it wasn’t obvious. You were dating Ana basically my entire pregnancy, but we actually got pregnant before you ran into her again. When I told you I wanted another baby, you assumed that was me asking you to have another baby or be strictly a donor. In reality, I was just letting you know my plans. When you told Marisol I wanted another baby but that you had already told me you wouldn’t be part of that process she probably thought it was out of respect for her and your relationship. Not that you’ve decided that you don’t want anymore kids,” Buck explained.

The whole time the two of them were talking they had also been

and that making sure the burned car was fully extinguished and that no one was harmed. Now it was time to put away their equipment and head back to the station, so Buck needed to wrap the conversation up.

“Can you just talk to Chris for me, please?” Eddie pleaded, not acknowledging anything Buck had just said.

“One, don’t ignore me because you don’t like what I said or want to avoid a topic. We swore we wouldn’t do that. Just acknowledge that you made a lot of assumptions and not communicating meant other people made their own assumptions. Two, I told you before that I’m not inserting myself in your and Shannon’s co-parenting relationship. If you think there’s some kind of moral failing with Chris, talk to Shannon about it and then Chris, But I’m not his parent and I refuse to be some kind of example like pulling recovering addicts to teach kids to just say no to drugs.”

“That’s not what I’m trying to do! I just think you would connect with Chris better as someone who didn’t always respect women! And again I’m giving you permission to handle this situation!”

Buck slammed the compartment he’d been loading with much more force than he would normally use. “What. The. Fuck. I have always respected women! Having sex with them and not being in a relationship is not disrespectful! And don’t you dare ever make Isaac feel like that! Talk to Shannon, take Chris to mass and have a priest talk to him, hell, have Bobby talk to Chris since he used those exact same words about me once, but leave me out of it!” Buck ordered.

Something in Buck’s voice or actions must have made Eddie realize that he had massively overstepped Buck’s boundaries, and he gave the younger man a wide berth for the rest of the shift. When Hen pulled Buck aside to ask him about it, he debated how honest he should be. Especially when she framed the question more as ‘what did you do?’ and not ‘what happened?’

“Eddie is having an issue with Chris and how he’s approaching dating,” he eventually answered. Hen was technically his captain, so she needed to know if he and Eddie could work together on calls. But Hen had never stood up for him during the slut shaming when he was a probie and he wasn’t looking forward to dealing with it twice in one shift. “Chris has been leading multiple girls on and Eddie likened it to when I used to have a lot of hookups. Said I would get through to him because I learned to ‘respect women.’”

Hen winced, recognizing some of the wording from Buck’s probie year. “I should have apologized for the slut shaming we put you through years ago. As long as everyone was capable of and gave enthusiastic consent then there’s nothing wrong with enjoying a lot of unattached sex while you’re single.”

Buck deflated, not expecting such an honest apology. He was so caught off guard and touched by her apology that he started crying. “Th-thank you, Hen. I-I really appr-preciate your apology,” he got out between small, hiccupping sobs.

“Oh, Buck,” Hen cooed, pulling him into a hug. “I didn’t mean to make you cry,” she quietly murmured, a little concerned by Buck’s behavior.

“I’m just not used to people ap-pologizing to me-me,” he said as he pulled away from the hug and wiped his eyes.

“Well, that’s on them, not you. I’m guessing that you made it clear to Eddie that you didn’t appreciate his comments.”

“Yeah. And I told him to leave me out of parenting Chris and that it wasn’t my place to handle what Eddie considers a moral falling on my and Chris’ part.”

Buck wasn’t sure he liked the look Hen gave him at his admission. “Karen and I are so proud of how you’ve balanced your friendship with both Eddie and Shannon. You don’t tell them about what the other confides in you, you just listen. You don’t interfere with how they parent Chris. But this time you need to break that balance. Shannon needs to know that Eddie is asking you to perform parenting duties. Duties he doesn’t want to do for whatever reason and without asking her if she’s comfortable with you stepping in instead.”

“I know you’re right,” Buck sniffed. “I’ve just tried so hard to be a good friend to them both and stay out of their relationship.”

“And you have. But now, you need to tell Shannon about this.”

That was how two nights later. Buck found himself sitting with Shannon, Karen, and Paige, enjoying some wine and gossip. Starting with what was going on with Chris.

“I just regret not talking to Chris about what happened when he was little before all of this,” Shannon sighed. “We worked so hard to get to the point where Chris is comfortable with staying with me and I don’t constantly feel like I’m going to fail.”

“I mean, at first you were following Eddie’s lead and he obviously wanted to just forget about it,” Paige piped up. After two years of Wine and Bitch nights she was fully caught up On all of the drama. “How were you supposed to talk about why you left and didn’t come back when Eddie clearly didn’t think you had to and had control of when you saw Chris?”

“Paige is right,” Karen agreed. “And the important thing is that Chris is old enough now to make his own choices and understand what you’re telling him. He has a concept of what depression is and what panic attacks are.”

“I suggested family therapy for all of us and Chris was open to it, but Eddie was resistant,” Shannon told them. She downed her glass of wine and reached for another one. It was a good thing Buck was her designated driver that night.

“He’s one of my best friends and my son’s other father, but I want to shake him. His belief that therapy is only okay when you’re in crisis or you have a hyper specific issue to work through is not helpful. And then lately he’s been so infuriating! Our ability to co-parent relies on us communicating but I can’t nail Eddie down, alone, in one place long enough to do that!”

“Oh?” Clearly Hen had kept their conversation to herself.

“I’m not happy with his slutshaming and his comments about how he’s a ‘nester’ either,” Shannon comforted Buck, laying her head on his shoulder. “We got married because his family made us, not because we were madly in love. We really didn’t know enough about each other. Maybe we would have gotten there one day, but marrying when we did for the reason we did was too much pressure. Especially when we were just high school exes hooking up when I got pregnant with Chris.”

“I told Eddie I hope Isaac is more like me when he dates, being committed, but not skipping steps or assuming he knows everything about his partner after only a couple of dates.”

“Speaking of Isaac, wasn’t it supposed to be your day with him?” Paige asked, having heard about how their custody agreement worked in their group multiple times. It was one of the inspirations for her and Kendra’s own custody agreement.

“Eddie wanted to switch so he could go on a date with Marisol last night. He’s been switching days a lot or getting a babysitter,” Buck explained, draining the rest of his glass of sparkling grape juice.

“Something’s going on with him.” Shannon spoke so lowly they almost didn’t hear her. “I noticed it at dinner the other night. How closed off Eddie was and I swear he wanted to jump over the table and punch Sal at one point. Which, my boyfriend can be an asshole, I’ll admit it. But he was on his best behavior that night.

“At this point, I think we might need to just wait Eddie out.”

“Hen said she can pair me with someone else next shift, if we’re still having issues. I think I might take her up on it since we’re only talking about who’s taking care of Isaac when since our fight.”

“Next wine night is Kendra’s turn to come. I’ll have to make sure she fills me in,” Paige giggled. Buck smiled at his friend, happy to see her so loose and light, perfectly at home with the fure fam.

Unfortunately, Paige wasn’t going to get that update since the next shift was full of drama of another kind that would take center stage for weeks. But Buck’s favorite surprise of that shift was …

“Evan,” the pilot, someone Chimney knew, breathed in wonder when Buck’s soon to be brother-in-law introduced them.

“Hi, Tommy.”

 

CHAPTER TWO

“We’re throwing things today,” Buck huffed as soon as he stomped into Dr. Snart’s office. “It’s that or I punch Eddie right in his stupid face.”

“Oh,?” Dr. Snart grabbed a basket of stress balls, throw pillows, and squeaky toys, putting it next to Buck before sitting in his normal chair with his notebook and pen. “I guess we’re not prepping for your sister’s wedding and dealing with Howard and your parents today?”

“Nope. This is waaaay more important. I told you I ran into my hookup from last year, Tommy? Well I reached out like we talked about. Except he had to leave the tour of Harbor he was giving me early because he and Eddie were flying to Vegas for an MMA fight. On Eddie’s Isaac night,” Buck growled, hurling things at a blank wall in Dr. Snart’s office.

“I’m assuming since you were so surprised by the trip that Eddie didn’t ask you for another switch?”

“No. He asked Marisol to babysit. Because it doesn’t matter how many times I try to talk to him about why I’m uncomfortable with that. He just blows past me and brings up what I said in our first session together about trusting each other.”

“If I remember correctly that was about sleepovers with school friends, not letting romantic partners babysit and take on a semi regular caregiver status,” Dr. Snart remarked.

“Yep, but the differences seem to be slipping Eddie by and he keeps steamrolling me. Normally I would offer him some kind of compromise, but Marisol is still resistant to my attempts to get to know each other on our own and ignores me when we’re in a group setting.”

“Does she treat Shannon the same way? You’re both the parents of Eddie’s sons, so she should be at least cordial with you both and respectful of that status.”

Buck took a minute to think about that. “Marisol is civil with Shannon. They aren’t friends but since Christophers a teenager, Shannon lets him set his own boundaries with Marisol. I actively try to keep her and Isaac separate so she’s colder than me,” Buck recounted.

“Have you explained you’d be more willing to Marisol spending time with Isaac and building up to a caregiver status if she put some effort in getting to know you?”

“I tried to sit Eddie down to talk to him about it, get him to slow down and listen to me. But he’s been so weird and, I don’t know, defensive maybe? Quicker to blow me off or fight with me for the last month. Like, we have little fights on the Marisol thing. But then we had that big fight about me not wanting to parent Chris and not appreciating Eddie slutshaming me. That was the outlier, though. Eddie’s mostly been going on dates, or randomly going out with friends I don’t really know, not being respectful to our custody schedule,” Buck trailed off as a thought occurred to him. “I feel like Eddie’s treating me more like a free babysitter rather than a co-parent.”

“Can you expand on that?” Dr. Snart requested. Buck’s immediate, explosive anger had drained out of him, leaving him exhausted.

Buck grabbed a bottle of water and collapsed on the couch. “On shift the other day, I asked Eddie about the trip to Vegas since we don’t see each other outside of it as often as we used to, despite living together. I found out Eddie has been spending a lot of time with Tommy. The conversation culminated in Eddie telling me they were going to some kind of karaoke trivia thing and asking me If I had any plans.”

“Last night was your parent support group, right?”

“It was,” Buck confirmed. ”I was going to remind Eddie of that and turn down what I thought was aninvitation, but then Eddie kept talking, asking me to babysit my own son.”

“Did Eddie actually use the words babysit?” Dr. Snart questioned.

“He asked me to watch Isaac for a few hours,” Buck grumbled. “It was phrased the same way he used to ask me babysit Chris before I got pregnant. I didn’t even know how to deal with that. I just told him I couldn’t take Isaac to group with me and then reminded Eddie that I had therapy today and he had agreed to take Isaac during it.”

“Your tone tells me that didn’t go over very well,” the therapist snarked.

“Eddie has a basketball game with Tommy later. He’s having brunch with Marisol before that though. When I told him I would just meet him at the house in time for his game, he turned my comments about not wanting Marisol alone with Isaac against me. Like that’s the same as taking Isaac on a date with them,” Buck complained.

“So where is Isaac today since Eddie couldn’t take him?”

“With Bobby and Athena. They wanted some grandson time. I asked them if they could keep him until later this afternoon. Figured if Eddie’s going to dominate all of Tommy’s time, then I need to join them if I want to see Tommy. Maybe I’ll be able to get him alone long enough to arrange a time to talk.”

Buck suddenly realized that he had been ripping the label off his bottle and now he had bits of damp paper all over his hands. He got up, threw away the large pieces of paper, then used a napkin Dr. Snart handed him to get the paper off his hands. When he sat back down, Buck made sure to grab a fidget toy.

“Why don’t you just text Tommy?” Dr. Snart asked.

“I think I’m afraid he won’t be able to see how serious I am about getting to know him better. Sure, I might come off as desperate, but I’m used to people thinking I’m too much, so it’s a risk I’m willing to take.”

“That one night stand has stayed with you.”

“Yeah,” Buck signed. “For being a quickie in a bar, the sex was phenomenal. But the conversation before that? And the cruise ship rescue? He’s just so interesting and I want some kind of relationship with him. Even if that’s only as friends.”

“You don’t think he might want more?”

“I”m trying to have another baby and think there was a reason I didn’t date while I was trying to get pregnant or during my pregnancy. It’s a lot of pressure to put on a person. Knowing I have a son is one thing. But balancing dating and pregnancy? Especially when Tommy wouldn’t be the other father since I’m using an anonymous donor? Asking him to be involved in the pregnancy would be inappropriate and unfair, in my opinion. But if Tommy wasn’t involved then I don’t think I could trust how serious he would take the relationship.”

“You’re still going through with your plan to have another baby?” Dr. Snart’s head was tilted in curiosity. It was the most emotion Buck had seen in the whole session. Dr. Snart must be really curious. “Last we talked, you were considering abandoning or postponing that plan.”

Buck huffed, crossing his arms over his chest before remembering that he didn’t need to defend or protect himself here. “Eddie approached me while Shannon was talking to Chris about his dating habits. He didn’t apologize for the slutshaming, just said something along the lines of ‘I’m sorry you were upset by my words.’ Not ‘I’m sorry for saying that.’”

“There is a difference,” Dr. Snart agreed.

“What Eddie really wanted to talk about was me having another baby. He doesn’t get why I would want to do it alone. Hell, he almost seemed insulted that I didn’t ask him to have another baby with me, even though he didn’t want more kids. He kept going on, told me I should have asked him and Daniel if they were ok with me having another baby and turning the guest room into a nursery. It seemed like he was trying to talk me out of it and I can’t say it didn’t almost work.”

“Just remember that your feelings about the conversation and what impressions it gave you are valid. But unless Eddie tells you himself what he felt like and what he was thinking, you can’t know that information for sure,” Dr. Snart gently reminded him. “What made you stop doubting your decision to have another baby?”

“I kept Isaac with me for the first few months, and Daniel reminded me that I would probably do that again with this baby. Daniel also pointed out that Isaac would either almost be three or he would have had his birthday by the time I’m in the third trimester if I got pregnant now, which is extremely optimistic. Isaac’s third birthday was the end point of our agreement to live together. If Eddie isn’t happy with me having another baby, then he can move out and we’ll buy his share. Ultimately, having another baby is my choice and none of Eddie’s business.”

“Good, no one has the right to tell you what to do with your body. It is yours and yours alone, no matter what anyone else thanks.”

“I know, sometimes I just need a reminder. It doesn’t help that I’m honestly not sure my body will support another pregnancy. I’ve been off my T for six months but my period still hasn’t come back.”

“What do your doctors say?”

“I have an appointment with Dr. Emerson next week. See if we can find a cause. About three months ago I told a PA at the fertility clinic that I had slept with a cis-man about two months before going off T, so she did a pregnancy test, but it came back negative. So that’s one potential reason off the table,” Buck sighed.

“Did you think you were when she ran the test?” Dr. Snart asked.

“I had a few minor symptoms. Sure, it would have explained why my period hasn’t returned, but I was relieved when it came back negative. I’ve been drinking, eating things I shouldn’t be, going into fires and taking risks at work. It would have been devastating to know that I’d been putting my baby in danger for five months.” Buck hadn’t thought about that test since he’d gotten the results. Months later, his relief was still there, but he was also disappointed. It felt like his body was failing him, which was not a great feeling.

“It’s okay to feel relieved and disappointed,” Dr. Snart reminded him. Sometimes, Buck felt like his therapist could read his mind. “If you need a positive, being pregnant with his baby would add a whole new complication to your attempt to seduce Tommy.”

Buck burst into laughter at Dr. Snart’s deadpan joke. The laughter was rejuvenating, giving Buck back some mental energy that he hadn’t realized was diminishing.

“Our session is coming to an end, but I have some homework for you.” Dr. Snart waited for Buck’s laughter to die down before speaking again. “One, see if Eddie would be willing to come in for a session again. You two obviously need to talk and doing it by yourself isn’t working. Two, I want you to be honest with Tommy about what you want from him. Don’t just assume he won’t want to date you because you’re trying to have another baby. Let Tommy make that choice. Three, since we were originally supposed to talk about how to handle your parents and Isaac interacting at Maddie’s wedding, I want you to write down some of the best and worst case scenarios and we’ll slowly go over them in our next few sessions. I have a feeling we’ll be talking about Eddie a lot in the near future, so we’ll fit your parents and future brother-in-law in around that.”

“Shannon is trying to get Eddie to go to family therapy with her and Chris. Maybe we can gang up on him so he stops dismissing us outright,” Buck suggested.

“It’s worth a try. Now, go play basketball or whatever.”

Buck didn’t go directly to the game from Dr. Snart’s office. First he stopped by his favorite coffee shop to get some tea, Facetiming Athena and Bobby to check on Isaac. Then Buck went home to change and pick up Daniel, who was coming for moral support. He wasn’t a big basketball fan either.

Buck was happy to have his big brother at his back when the game immediately went to hell. Buck wasn’t expecting to have Tommy’s full attention, but at least some acknowledgement would be nice. But no, all of Tommy’s attention was on Eddie, and it was pissing Buck off. Daniel sensed how angry Buck was with his partner and did his best to distract the blond and calm him down. It was working well until the group decided to switch things up and move Daniel to the other team. It was a lot harder for Daniel to rein Buck in after that, so Buck’s competitiveness and frustration with Eddie were out in full force.

Which is how Eddie ended up just standing one second and on the ground clutching his ankle the next. Buck didn’t remember what happened, he’d been going to bodycheck Eddie, but not hard enough to knock him down.

“Are you ok?” Daniel checked as Buck watched Eddie hobble away, supported by Tommy. Buck’s assistance had been firmly rejected.

“I was just going to check Eddie, but then I got dizzy and when I came to, Eddie was on the ground.

“You’ve been getting dizzy a lot lately,” Daniel remarked, clearly worried.

“I stood up to get out of bed this morning and I almost passed out,” Buck quietly admitted to his brother.

“Evan!” he admonished. “Why the hell did you decide to come out?”

“Because I wanted to see Tommy and I’m trying to get Eddie alone so we can find time to talk.”

“Well now you’re going home to rest and hydrate,” Daniel ordered.

By magic or simply excellent timing, Buck’s phone started ringing as soon as the Buckley brothers were settled in the car.

“Hey, Thena, is Isaac ok?” Buck asked, terrified about why she was calling him when they had spoken only a couple of hours before.

“Hey Buckaroo. Unfortunately, Isaac isn’t feeling too good. He’s developed a fever and Bobby and I can’t calm him down. We gave him some medicine, but he needs his dad.” Now that Buck was listening for it, he could hear his baby sobbing in the background.

“I’m on my way!” Buck swore, immediately turning the key over to start his engine.

“Just make sure you take the time to get here safely,” Athena ordered. “We’ve got Isaac until you do.”

“I’ll make sure of it, Athena!” Daniel called as Buck started to drive, hanging the phone immediately after.

By the time he got to Isaac’s side, he could tell that the toddler had cried himself into exhaustion. He was barely awake enough to whimper and reach out for Buck as soon as they were in each other’s line of sight.

“Oh, little guy, it’s ok. Daddy’s here,” Buck cooed, tucking Isaac into his arms.

“Daddy hurts.”

“I know, baby, I know. Let’s go home and we can curl up and watch Mulan, ok?”

“Home,” Isaac ordered with a pout.

“Thanks for watching him, Bobby, Athena.”

“It was our pleasure. We hope he feels better soon, ” Bobby said right before Buck tucked Isaac into his car seat, sliding in beside him since Daniel had moved to the driver’s seat.

“I’m going to call Eddie’s cousin and let her know Isaac is sick She watched him last night and he might have given her kids whatever this is,” Buck muttered running his hand through Isaac’s curls to soothe his sleep

“I thought last night was Eddie’s night?”

“He wanted to go out with Tommy again and I had our support

group. So Larsine watched Isaac,” Buck explained as he pulled up the phone number for the only cousin Eddie had in the area from his mother’s side of the family.

“Hey, Buck!” She chirped as soon as she answered the phone. “I was just about to call Eddie.”

“Huh? Is everything ok? I was calling to warn you that Isaac is sick, I figured you would want to keep an eye on the kids.”

“That’s why I was going to call Eddie. Michael and Janey have had fevers for a few days and now they have a rash. I think they might have measles, so I was letting Eddie know since I watched Isaac last week and yesterday,” Larsine simpered, not sounding nearly upset enough at the idea her four and six year olds could have the measles.

“I’m sorry, what did you say?” he gulped.

“I think the kids might have measles,” she fucking giggled.

“That’s what I thought you said. Why are you so sure it’s measles? Did the kids not get both doses of the vaccine yet?” Buck nearly caused Daniel to swerve the car in his shock.

“Oh no, they aren’t vaccinated. I don’t believe in that. They’re so dangerous and I’d rather my kids build their immune systems naturally,” Larsine told Buck, slipping into an almost smug tone.

“I would get your kids tested, and I want to know the results. I’ll get Isaac tested too. And I’ll be making sure Eddie never leave my son with you again!” Buck growled, hanging up the phone and wishing he could slam it down. Cell phones were certainly convenient, but not as satisfying to hang up when you’re upset.

“Can you take us to the ER? I want Isaac tested ASAP,” Buck told his brother.

“Already heading there,” Daniel reassured Buck. “You need to tell Eddie about this, but you need to stay calm.”

“Easier said than done. I don’t know what’s going through his head. He’s making parenting decisions without telling me. He’s skipping out on caring for Isaac so he can go out with friends or on dates. And now this? I can get him not knowing that Mikey and Janey were unvaccinated if Larsine didn’t tell him. But they had to be sick when he dropped Isaac off yesterday and he still left him there. The Eddie I know wouldn’t do that.”

“I know,” Daniel exhaled as he pulled up outside the ER and dug around in the glove compartment for a mask for Isaac. “But if you stay calm, then Eddie can’t claim you’re being unreasonable or irrational.”

Buck fit the mask over Isaac’s mouth and nose, doing his best to keep it in place despite being too big. Then Buck brought him into the ER and all he had to say was he thought the toddler had measles and they were being escorted back to prevent it from potentially spreading throughout the waiting room. The doctors made quick work of examining Isaac and taking samples for tests.

“Hopefully it’s just the Flu, but we’re testing for both to be safe. Since Isaac only has a fever and it’s moderate, we’re going to send you home for now. The first measles test should be back in one to three days. If Isaac gets worse before then or his fever doesn’t break, bring him back in,” the pediatrician explained. “We’ll give you call when the rapid tests are back. and again when the cultures come back in a couple weeks,”

“Thank you doctor,” Buck whispered as he picked up the sleeping child to take him home. Daniel was waiting with the car when they left the ER, a bag with some of the essentials for caring for a sick toddler next to him in the passenger seat.

“I’ll bring you home, but I can’t help you with Isaac,” he apologized. “I already let the plastics chief know about the potential exposure, but I need to limit any other exposure until his test results are back. Can’t risk bringing measles around post operative patients, even if they’re vaccinated.”

“I understand,“ Buck sighed knowing that he would be left alone with Isaac since Eddie probably wouldn’t be up to helping considering what Buck did to his ankle.

About an hour later, Buck was pacing the kitchen, bouncing Isaac like he did when his son was smaller and couldn’t sleep, trying to soothe him. He almost didn’t hear the door open.

“Evan? What are you doing here?” Tommy asked. The older man was helping Eddie inside when he looked up and saw Buck standing in the kitchen, a fussy toddler propped on his hip. The blond was completely unsurprised to see that his partner was high. He’d hit Eddie pretty hard on the court during his fit of jealousy and dizziness. Maybe it was uncharitable, but as bad as Buck felt for what happened, he already had a cranky two year old, he did not want to deal with an injured and high Eddie too.

“I live here,” Buck deadpanned as Isaac whimpered from where he had his head tucked against Buck’s chest. The man kissed his son’s forehead and was not happy that the fever he had developed hadn’t gone down. If his fever didn’t go down soon, Buck would be taking him back to the ER.

“Really?” Tommy asked as he lowered Eddie down onto the couch, looking up to Buck in the archway to the kitchen.

“Considering Eddie and I agreed to live together until Isaac is at least three, yes, I really live here.”

“It’s nice that you moved in to help Eddie take care of his sons,” Tommy tried to compliment Buck. All it did was make him angrier with Eddie.

“I mean, I did give birth to Isaac and even having a baby was my idea. Eddie only got involved after he found me going through donor profiles and made a snap decision to offer to be my sperm donor. I made him go to therapy with me before I said yes. Which is when we agreed to co-parent instead of Eddie just contributing his DNA and letting me parent,” Buck ranted. Eddie had passed out by this point, but was shifting on the couch, so Buck moved further back so that he wouldn’t wake his friend. “A decision I am really questioning right now.”

“Wait, Isaac is your son? Not Shannon’s?”

“Yes, and normally I would be grateful that Eddie is so careful to not out me without asking. But every time he introduces Isaac to someone or tells them about him, he conveniently just leaves out that I’m his dad too because he doesn’t want to out me or have people mistake us for a couple. Says it would be disrespectful to Marisol to let people believe that. All any of that does though is make whoever he’s talking to assume that he’s Isaac’s only parent or that Marisol or Shannon is his mom,” Buck growled. After a moment’s thought, Buck handed Isaac over to Tommy and moved to soak one of his dish towels in cool water.

“I’ll freely admit to not spending a lot of time around small children, but I don’t he’s supposed to be this warm,” Tommy murmured as he gently bounced the toddler.

“That’s because he has a fever of one-on-two-point-four. I gave him a dose of Children’s Tylenol about twenty minutes ago. If it doesn’t go down or stabilize soon then I’m taking him back to the ER,” Buck admitted as he took the child back from Tommy. Isaac whimpered as Buck laid the towel over his neck. ”I know baby, I know it doesn’t feel good. But it’s supposed to help you,” he tried to comfort his son. When his words didn’t do much (not that Buck expected them to), Buck began to rock Isaac and hum Reflection to him.

“Honestly, Tommy, I don’t blame Eddie for wanting to spend time with you and get to know you. Hell, I did too . It was the whole reason I asked for a tour of Harbor and went to the game today. And I feel bad for what happened at the game, but I’m so beyond pissed at Eddie right now, so if I get snappy, it’s not because of you.”

“I feel like I missed something since I thought this was about Eddie making a new friend. Did something else happen?” Tommy inquired as he opened the drawer Buck had pulled the towel from and started preparing a new compress.

“Other than monopolizing your time so much that I don’t feel comfortable with asking you to do something with me? Eddie has been altering our custody agreement. We’re supposed to evenly split days for who’s going to be Isaac’s primary caregiver. We do all of the big things together, but if it’s my Isaac day and I need to run errands I take him with me and I’m responsible for his daily routine. If I want to go out without him then it’s my responsibility to organize a babysitter or ask Eddie to switch days,” Buck explained. “It’s to make living separately one day and actually passing him back and forth easier.”

”Makes sense to me, I think that’s actually a really great idea,” Tommy said. “But you said Eddie hasn’t been sticking to it?”

“It started about a month ago, so before you and I even saw each other again. Eddie has been requesting a swap or getting

babysitters on more and more Isaac days. At first it was just for dates with Marisol, but then he was being all shifty and skipping our friend dates.”

“Friend dates?”

“Days we’re just friends for a bit, not co-parents,” Buck explained. “The day you guys went to Vegas, Eddie was supposed to have Isaac and got Marisol to babysit, which I’ve asked him not to do since I don’t know her very well and she doesn’t know me.”

“Was today Eddie’s day with Isaac?” Tommy inquired.

“No, it was mine. Eddie was supposed to take him this morning just for my therapy session, but since I don’t want Marisol babysitting, Eddie didn’t want to take him to their brunch date. Luckily for me, Athena and Bobby wanted to spend some time with him, so he went there.

“Last night was Eddie‘s day, but I had a support group during your trivia thing, so Eddie left Isaac with his cousin. His cousin who watched Isaac last week too. And who doesn’t believe in vaccinations. Now her kids possibly have measles.”

Tommy gulped. “And now Isaac has a fever.”

“They’ve had fevers for a few days and now they have a rash. And now Isaac has a fever,” Buck whimpered, holding his baby close.

“Can I do anything to help?” Tommy asked. “I have a shift soon, but I can run to the store down the street real quick.”

Buck smiled at the very sweet offer. “Thanks, but I’ve got an instacart order coming soon. If I’d known having a sick toddler would get your attention, I wouldn’t have potentially maimed my best friend to get it.”

“My attention?”

“Well, yeah. I kinda haven’t stopped thinking about you since I saw you again-”

Tommy cut Buck off, placing his fingers under the blond’s chin and tipping his face up for a gentle kiss. “How was that?”

“Amazing,” Buck breathed before Tommy kissed him again.

“Are you free Saturday night? I’d like to take you out if Isaac is feeling better.”

“If he is, I can find a babysitter for a couple hours. Because I would love to go out with you on Saturday. I’ll let you know.”

“I look forward to hearing from you then.”

 

CHAPTER THREE

After Tommy left, Buck decided to call Bobby to update him and Athena and call himself out of work.

“Should I get a floater for Eddie, too?” Bobby asked. His voice was a little crackly since Buck had him on speaker phone while he rocked Isaac in the nursery.

“I don’t know,” Buck eventually confessed. “He hasn’t seen Isaac all day. But I, uh, kinda sprained his ankle earlier today.”

“During basketball? Because when I was in the academy, there were almost more injuries from pickup basketball games than from the academy itself.”

“I bodychecked Eddie kinda hard, but I got dizzy and I can’t tell if my lack of control was from that or how frustrated I’ve been with Eddie lately?”

“You haven’t mentioned anything. Is everything ok?” Bobby questioned, the worry clear in his voice. Buck could hear pots banging and the thunk of Bobby’s favorite wooden cutting board. He wondered what his captain was making.

“I didn’t want to worry you and Athena with your cruise and especially after what happened.” Buck couldn’t hold back the sigh building his throat before leaning down to kiss the top of Isaac’s hair when he shifted. “What are you making?”

“Chicken soup for Isaac and you. I’ll drop it off on my way to shift in the morning.”

Buck smiled, touched by how much Bobby cared for him and Isaac. This was why he had shyly asked him and Athena to be Isaac’s grandparents when he had finally introduced all of them. “Thank you. We really appreciate it.”

“Anything for my kid and grandkid. Now quit stalling and tell me what’s going on with you and Eddie.”

And so Buck caught Bobby up on what was going on with Eddie, starting with the family dinner from a month ago and ending with Tommy bringing Eddie home from urgent care.

“I admitted to Tommy that I’ve been feeling pretty jealous the past couple weeks. I wanted to spend time with Tommy, but it’s felt like Eddie’s hogging all of his free time. Or they don’t have plans together but I have Isaac and I don’t want to switch with Eddie because I don’t trust that he won’t turn around and leave Isaac with a babysitter. And now I feel guilty because I might be leaving Isaac with a babysitter soon,” Buck ranted.

“Well you know Athena and I are more than willing to watch him if we’re available,” Bobby offered.

“Tommy asked me out for Saturday, pending Isaac’s measles test and how he’s feeling,” Buck confessed. “Does it make me a bad father that I’m really looking forward to this date?”

“Not at all,” Bobby reassured him. “Your life can’t revolve around being a parent. Yes, it’s a big part of your life. But if you make it just about work and Isaac, then you’ll burnout before you know it. Or worse, you’ll forget who Buck is outside of Isaac’s dad.”

“So you think I should go on this date if Isaac’s feeling better?”

“Depends. What does Tommy make you feel like?”

“I can’t stop thinking about him. We, uh, met at a queer club almost a year ago. Hen, Karen, and Paige took me out during a storm, but we got separated. Tommy sat down next to me at the bar and we talked for over an hour. Every time I’ve thought about him since then I’ve gotten butterflies.”

“Then yes, Buck, I think you should go on this date. And as long as Isaac’s measles test comes back negative, and God willing that will be what happens, Athena and I would be more than happy to watch him Saturday,” Bobby promised.

“I notice you didn’t mention if he’s feeling better.”

“We can angle a sick two-year-old. We only called you today because he wouldn’t stop asking. Which is what we’ll do Saturday if we absolutely need to. I’m sure Tommy will understand if you need to leave early for an emergency.”

“I’ll keep that in mind. Thanks, Pops,” Buck whispered, one of the rare moments he felt secure in acknowledging their relationship.

“Always, Son. Now I want you to do two things. Once, get some rest, you’ll need it. Two, try to find a time to talk to Eddie. Talk, not yell. See if he’ll meet up with Dr. Snart again. If he won’t and if you two do start yelling, then take a break, calm down, and come back to it later. Because you two can’t keep on like this.”

“I promise, I’ll talk to Eddie. Call me when you drop off the soup so I can grab it from the porch?” Buck suggested.

“Absolutely, kiddo. Get some sleep and I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

“Talk to you tomorrow,” Buck signed off, ending the call and carefully standing up to change Isaac for bed.

“Why is Isaac wearing a diaper?” Eddie rasped from the doorway. Buck had been so focused on his phone call and then getting his son ready for bed without waking him that he hadn’t heard Eddie coming up that stairs.

“Don’t come over here,” Buck barked out when Eddie started to move forward.

“Excuse me?” Eddie’s voice was raspy from sleep, but his raised eyebrow and frown made it clear that he wasn’t amused.

“Isaac is wearing a diaper because he has a fever. When I called Laraine to warn her since she watched him last night, she told me her kids were sick for days when you left Isaac there.”

“I mean, she said the kids had some light fevers,” Eddie told him. “But exposing kids to germs is how you help them build a strong immune system.”

“So are vaccines. Except Laraine doesn’t believe in vaccines and now, on top of their other safe symptoms, the kids have a rash,” Buck snapped, grabbing Isaac’s lightest pajamas so he didn’t overheat.

“Buck…” Eddie trailed off in the way that meant he thought Buck was being ridiculous and overprotective.

“Then, Eddie, then your cousin fucking giggled, giggled when she told me she thought Mikey and Janey might have measles.”

“What?!” Eddie exclaimed.

“She laughed and told me her kids might have measles,” Buck repeated. “I told her I would never let you leave Isaac with her again and took Isaac to the ER for a measles and flu test.” Buck gathered Isaac in his arms, just standing there with him, waiting for Eddie to move so he could take Isaac to bed with him.

“It kinda sounds like you’re blaming me for this. It’s not my fault that Laraine didn’t vaccinate her kids,” Eddie finally snapped.

“No, but she told you the kids had fevers for days and yo, an EMT, weren’t concerned about it. Having a fever for that long isn’t a good sign,” Buck argued. “Now, please move so I can take Isaac with me to bed. I’m out of work until Isaac’s measles test comes back since I’ve been exposed. You haven’t seen Isaac since he developed a fever, so it’s up to you if you call out or not.”

“Buck, I thought I was doing the right thing!”

Buck shifted Isaac so he was supporting him with one arm, then pinched the bridge of his nose. He was becoming beyond frustrated with the other man.

“Well, you didn’t. But I don’t want to talk about this now. I’m too angry and our talk wouldn’t be productive. If I thought I could get you to go to therapy with me, I would suggest that. But since that won’t happen, just let me go to bed and we can hash this out later,” the blond begged.

“Fine,” Eddie huffed, moving out of the doorway when it was clear that Buck wouldn’t be moved, physically or in his decision to have an official talk.

Buck paused in front of his bedroom door and turned just enough to speak over his shoulder. “I don’t know what’s going on with you, Eddie, but you’ve changed since our family dinner. Figure yourself out, because my patience is running out.” With that, Buck walked into his room and quietly shut the door.

It was a long night, battling Isaac’s fever and dealing with him throwing up multiple times. But they made it through and around noon, while Buck was heating up some soup for them, when the hospital called him back. He was absolutely relieved to hear that Isaac’ measles test was negative and his flu test was positive. The flu was never fun, but it was much more preferable to Isaac having measles. The doctors were still going to run cultures, but other than a suggestion to get Isaac fully vaccinated, he was in the clear.

The first thing Buck did after getting off the phone was cry. He had been terrified and holding his breath since calling Eddie’s cousin and now he could let it all go. Once his tears slowed down, Buck texted Eddie, Daniel, and Bobby that Isaac’s measle test was negative, then he called the pediatrician to schedule an appointment to administer the second dose of the measles vaccine. Buck didn’t think he could ever go through something like this again.

“Daddy,” he heard Isaac whimper over the baby monitor. Buck turned the soup off and went to grab him from the bedroom.

“Hey, little guy,” he sang, sitting next to Isaac and running his fingers through his hair. It seemed like the medicine was starting to work and the toddler didn’t feel as warm. “How do you feel?”

“Icky, Daddy.”

“I’m sorry, baby. Do you want some food before we take a bath?”

“No no.”

“You don’t know?” Buck checked, not sure if Isaac was saying no twice or ‘don’t know.’

“No no.” That was not helpful, so Buck took a guess.

“Grandpa Bobby made us some chicken soup. Want to try some?”

“Want chickie soup, Daddy,” Isaac said as firmly as a two-year-old could.

“Then to the kitchen we go!” Buck cheered, swooping Isaac up and slinging him around to settle on Buck’s hip. It healed a piece of Buck’s heart to hear Isaac giggle after the last twenty-four hours.

With Isaac occupied with making a mess of his soup, Buck took a chance to look at his phone. Daniel had texted him Thank you for letting me know. Glad my nephew is going to be ok. Eddie just set him a thumbs up emoji, causing Buck to roll his eyes. Bobby’s text made his heart race. Glad to hear it. Text Tommy and Athena and I will watch Isaac tomorrow night.

Which is how Buck found himself dressed up and sitting across from Tommy in an Italian restaurant the next night.

“Are you nervous about being away from Isaac?” Tommy asked after noticing how Buck couldn’t stop fidgeting.

“N-no,” Buck stuttered. “I know B-Bobby and Athena have got him. I’m just feeling a-a little dysphoric.”

“Is there anything I can do to help?” his date checked, grabbing Buck’s hands and intertwining their fingers. Buck couldn’t remember the last time someone had looked at him with so much obvious concern for his dysphoria.

“Not really. I always feel a little dysphoric on the first date. Especially when I want the relationship to last. The, uh, God this is gonna sound horrible. But the fact that you’re gay actually helps a little because it, uh, kinda reassures me the you only see me as a man,” Buck explains. “And, uh, I know that my body isn’t a turn off for you.”

“Definitely not a turn off,” Tommy agreed, giving him a once over and practically undressing Buck with his eyes, making the man blush. “Does the fact that I’m a man make you uncomfortable at all? Because all of your friends give off the impression that you’re straight.” Tommy seemed nervous for the first time that night. Buck sighed, not looking forward to answering that but knowing he needed to be honest.

“That’s complicated. This is my first date with a man since I began my transition when I was eighteen. Before that I dated boys in high school, but my therapist back then did her level best to convince me I wasn’t trans, just a butch lesbian who was afraid to admit it. I would tell her that I enjoyed the few times I had sex with my boyfriends on a physical level. My only problem was when they referenced they called me a girl during sex,” Buck explained, bypassing the beer Tommy had ordered for them for some water instead. Normally Buck wouldn’t pass up a good beer, but tonight the smell was just not sitting right with Buck.

“And after you transitioned?” the pilot prompted.

“That therapist was better in the sense that they didn’t try to convince me I wasn’t trans, but still continued with validating my attraction to women and telling me that my attraction to men was just about me wanting a body like theirs for myself.”

“None of that sounds healthy, Evan.”

“It wasn’t,” he agreed. “It took me meeting another trans firefighter while I was on special deployment and telling him about my transition experience to realize just how fucked up it was.”

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Shoot.”

“Why did you first therapist try to convince you that you were cis, but not straight? I figure she would have tried to convince you that you were both cis and straight,” Tommy commented, grabbing another slice of pizza from the tray.

“My parents made me see her after I came out. I was pregnant with Isaac, I had literally just conceived him actually, when I found out why being a lesbian was preferable to being trans. I’d tell you, but I don’t want to scare you away,” Buck confessed with a weak laugh.

“Evan, I have no illusions that this would be a serious relationship. You have a young son and you told me you wanted serious,” Tommy told him. “There is very little you could tell me that would scare me off. And none of it about your parents.”

“Maddie, my older sister, got pregnant about six months, almost seven, before I did. She wanted a ‘normal’ family for my niece and invited our parents to visit. She knows we don’t get along, but Maddie insisted on several ‘family dinners’ while our parents and brother were visiting. During the first dinner I couldn’t avoid telling everyone I might be pregnant and my mom freaked and was transphobic as fuck. The second dinner, the truth came out. My parents were against me transitioning because then I might not be able to be a donor for my brother.”

“What kind of donor?”

“When I was one, I donated bone marrow for Daniel, my older brother. He had leukemia and the transplant saved his life. Then when I was a teen, Daniel was in a car accident and needed a liver transplant, which also came from me.

“I thought I was a lucky miracle baby, since Daniel got sick long before I was born. But that dinner, Daniel and I both found out the truth. I’m a savior sibling. I was genetically engineered to be a donor for Daniel. It was the only reason I was born and my parents, especially my mother, didn’t want me doing anything that would keep me from ‘fulfilling my purpose.’”

“Please tell me you cut them out of your life,” Tommy pleaded.

“I did. My childhood I always felt like they didn’t love me, no matter how much Maddie tried to gaslight me and said they just didn’t know how to shoe it. That, plus how they handled my transition and this bombshell, I had no interest in reconciliation. We’re civil for Maddie and Jee, but even my brother wants nothing to do with them.”

“Good. My mother died when I was a teenager and my father was a homophobic piece of shit. Hell, he might still be, but I don;t know if he’s alive or dead. I denied that I was gay for a long time. Between my father, society, Don’t Ask Don’t Tell, Gerrard, you have plenty of options for why. I couldn’t even admit it to my sled until a few months before I left the One-Eighteen and it took leaving the One-Eighteen for me to be ready to come out. He obviously didn’t take that well and we haven’t spoken since,” Tommy explained.

“It’s not easy to go no contact with toxic parents, but it’s so worth it,” Buck agreed. “And I’m sorry about your mom.”

“We had a complicated relationship. We were very close and loved me a lot, but she never stopped my father from verbally abusing me when I was growing up. Just said it was how he was raised so he didn’t know any other way to raise a child. Didn’t make it easier when she got sick.” Buck squeezed Tommy’s hand to try and comfort him. “Mind if we move past our parents for now?”

“I, uh, do have one more thing I need to confess if we’re going to be dating,” Buck admitted. Tommy simply tilted his head in reply and encouragement to continue. “Around when we originally met, I was considering having another baby and six months ago I stopped taking testosterone to do so. I, er, hit a snag but it’s not something I’m willing to give up on entirely.”

Tommy took a deep breath. “What would you expect from me since I’m assuming you won’t indefinitely postpone having another child until we figure out if we want to do that together.”

“I’m not asking you to be the other genetic parent or be, like, my support person, going to appointments and doing midnight craving runs. Your level of involvement is up to you. But if you step up into a parent role, I won’t take it very well if you change your mind later.”

“I want you to know that children aren’t a dealbreaker for me,” Tommy began. “I knew when I asked you out that you had a child. And admitting that I’m gay made me accept that if I did have kids, they probably wouldn’t be biological children. So if we make it and you don’t want a third child, I’m fine with that. I’ll be Isaac’s stepdad and maybe you’ll let me adopt your second child if it works out.

“As for this potential child, I guess my only concern is if Eddie is your donor again. Otherwise, we can see where we are as a couple when you get pregnant and then decide what we’re both comfortable with.”

Buck sniffled, overwhelmed and moved by Tommy’s response. “Sorry, it’s, uh, been an insane couple of days, but th-that really means a l-lot to me, Tommy.” Buck took a minute to get his emotions back under control before continuing. “As for Eddie, I told him I was going to start the process to have another baby and he assumed I was asking him. I wasn’t, I was just telling him what I was doing since me having a second child would affect Isaac.”

“I’m guessing Eddie didn’t take that well?”

“I kinda get the feeling he thinks I should have put it to a vote at one of our family meetings and he would have voted no on me having another baby by myself,” Buck admitted.

“I know you said he’s been acting a little weird and distant for the last month,” Tommy recalled.

“Yeah,” Buck groaned. “But I honestly don’t want to talk about it right now, if that’s ok. I’ve talked to a few people and my therapist and I just need a bit of a break.”

“That’s not a problem, Evan. Actually,” Tommy paused to look down at his watch, “our Uber should be here soon.” The older man was quick to flag down their waitress and pay the check before Buck good even take his wallet out.

“I’m pretty sure I said I owe you a beer,” Buck teased, referring to the tour of Harbor Tommy had given him.

“Mmm, next time,” Tommy told him. “I asked you out tonight so I’m paying. Besides, you didn’t even drink the beer we got.”

Buck flushed bright red at that. “Alcohol had smelled off to me lately. Figured my body is just telling me I need a break,” he sheepishly explained.

“Are you feeling ok?” Tommy’s voice was full of concern. “We can postpone the movie if you need to go home and rest.”

“I’m ok, my back has been hurting more than usual, but I’ve had a clingy toddler stuck to me for two days sooo.”

“Tommy!” Buck heard called out from the front of the restaurant. He froze and then slowly turned to face Eddie, apparently on a date with Marisol. “And Buck! I see you guys worked out your issues. Having a guys night?” he teased.

Buck’s eyes flit over the restaurant, taking in the couples, families, and a singular large group of friends celebrating something. Nothing to suggest Buck and Tommy were just two guys sharing a meal. “Yeah, just getting some food before we go pick up some hot chicks,” Buck stated, the sarcasm all but dripping from his mouth. He barely refrained from rolling his eyes. Buck was fully facing Eddie and missed Tommy tensing up behind him. He didn’t miss the strain in his date’s voice as he asked the other couple if they were celebrating anything.

“Marisol is moving in,” Eddie answered, a dopey smile on his face.

“Since when.”

“We made the final decision today,” Marisol told Buck, cheerful and not at all realizing the mine she just stepped on.

“No,” Buck denied. “I’m sorry, Marisol. I’m not comfortable with you moving in right now. Especially whe this is the first I’m hearing of it.”

“You’re being rude and making a scene, Buck,” Eddie hissed, conscious of the looks they were starting to get. “And you can’t tell me how to conduct my relationship!”

“If you didn’t want a scene, you shouldn’t have told me this in public. And I get a say in who lives in my home! Daniel and I own that house too and you didn’t ask either of us if we were ok with Marisol moving in or the logistics of it,” Buck grit through his clenched jaw.

“Buck…”

“No. I’m putting my foot down. Marisol isn’t moving in until we have a family meeting,” Buck said, standing up to face Eddie on a more even level.

“I’m gonna wait outside,” Tommy muttered, slipping out of the restaurant.

“I’ll be there in a second,” Buck whispered back.

“You need to get over whatever jealousy you have for Marisol, Buck,” Eddie said before Tommy was out of earshot.

“I’m not jealous, Eddie. And I’m done with this conversation. We’ll talk about it later, when we’re alone.”

 

CHAPTER FOUR

“Is that our Uber?” Buck hesitantly asked, motioning to a car pulling up outside the restaurant. He didn’t even give Tommy a chance to answer before barreling forward. “Do you think they would mind driving us to the hospital instead?”

That seemed to knock Tommy out of whatever mood Buck’s temper tantrum inside had caused. “Why do you need to go to the hospital?“ Tommy croaked.

“Because the last time I felt this particular pattern of cramps was when I was in labor with Isaac. And our hookup was about eight and a half months ago,” Buck explained, grasping his stomach as Tommy helped him into the back of the Uber. “My doctor is at UCLA,” Buck whispered. “It’s also closest and Daniel works there.”

“Change of plans. Can you take us to UCLA Medical Center? I think there’s something wrong with my buddy’s appendix,” Tommy lied to their driver. For all that the older man had been upset by Buck’s ‘hot chicks’ comment to Eddie inside, he understood that there was a time and place to be out. Telling a random person that Buck was trans in the middle of the current political situation, while Buck needed to get to the hospital because he was in labor, was not the time or the place.

“Man, I have had a firetruck land on my leg, the guy who blew it up threatened to kill me, been struck by lightning, and you literally flew me into a hurricane. But my appendix tries to take me out in the middle of pizza and beer?” Buck played along, needing the distraction.

“Meh. It was mostly just intermittent showers by the time we were in the thick of it,” Tommy repeated what he’d said during the flight.

“Sounds interesting,” the driver commented in mild disbelief. Buck just nodded as he pulled his phone out and texted Dr. Emerson. She was quick in getting back to him, replying that she was on call and would meet him in the ER. Buck decided that he really did have the best doctor.

“Life as a firefighter is certainly never dull,” Tommy chuckled.

Buck listened to the two of them make polite small talk until they pulled up outside of the ER. As soon as the Uber driver was pulling away, Buck was grabbing Tommy’s hand and leaning his weight on the slightly larger man. Tommy could take his weight and Buck was too focused on breathing through his third contraction since they had left the restaurant thirty minutes earlier. Tommy just let Buck squeeze his hand and rubbed his back until it was over, then led him into the ER.

There was only one person in front of them at the triage desk and almost no one in the waiting room by some minor miracle. It was definitely out of the ordinary for a Saturday, but Buck wasn’t going to question it.

“What brings you in tonight?” the nurse asked after she got his basic information.

“I’m about ninety-eight-percent certain that I’m in labor.”

“Oh. Okay. Let’s get you back into the triage bay,” she said quickly. Something in her tone sent Buck’s paranoia skyhigh, but he couldn’t pinpoint what it was exactly, so he put it down to the panic from his unexpected labor.

“Calling your doctor ahead of time always helps in the ER,” Buck told Tommy as the man helped him settle on the gurney. A different nurse came in and took Buck’s vitals before giving him a gown and pulling the curtain closed behind her.

“Not how I imagined seeing you naked again,” Tommy jokes, continuing to support Buck when another contraction ripped through him in the middle of changing into the gown.

“Me neither. Although, considering how badly I fucked up on our date tonight, I wasn’t expecting you to see me naked at all.”

“You didn’t fuck up, Evan,” Tommy denied. “In the interest of honesty, I was planning to cut the date short and go home by myself from the restaurant. But not because of your behavior!” he hurried to reassure Buck when he saw the blond’s face fall. “I felt like maybe I was pressuring you into something you weren’t ready for. You have a lot going on in your life and I think there’s some unresolved feelings around Eddie and dating.”

“You aren’t pressuring me into anything. I have a toddler and when we went on our date I was already planning to have another baby. I don’t know what I’m ready for when it comes to a relationship. But I know that I want to figure that out with you. Tonight was just a lot for me. It was a mix of my normal first date dysphoria, Eddie dropping that he invited Marisol to move in without asking anyone, and my early labor hormones. My brain just kinda shut down.

“But I can promise you that I don’t have any romantic feelings for Eddie. I’m not jealous of Marisol because I want him and I’m not projecting my own fears about not being ready to date onto Eddie’s relationship.”

“You were sarcastic when you said it, but I still took the ‘hot chicks’ comment as you shoving us both back in the closet and you weren’t. I could have easily said I was more interested in guys if it was that important and you can come out on your own time. Although, considering where we are and why, we’ll have to come up with some kind of explanation for having a baby together.”

“You want to do this with me?” Buck whimpered, not expecting Tommy to be all in.

“Evan, this is my child. A child I honestly never thought I would get to have. Yes it’s a surprise and a little sudden, but it’s a surprise for you too. I’m not going to run and leave you alone in this. I want this baby,” he swore.

Buck sniffled, beyond happy to hear Tommy say he wanted their baby, no matter how much of a surprise they were.

“Then we tell everyone the truth,” Buck decided. “Yes, dating another man as an adult is new to me. But I’m not afraid to come out and I’m not going to lie about our child in any way.”

Before Buck could say anything further the curtain was being pulled back and a rather severe looking man somewhere between his and Tommy’s age was standing in the gap. He had a white coat over his dress shirt and tie, but Buck couldn’t make out the department name on the coat.

“Mr. Buckley, I’m Dr. Lindsay. How are you feeling tonight?”

“Like I’m having a baby and I want my own doctor,” Buck answered, stunned by the man’s bedside manner.

“And here I am!” Dr. Emerson quickly interjected, muscling past the other doctor. “Well Evan, I see you’ve met the on-call psychology resident.”

“Oh, so the nurse let us back because she thinks I’m crazy?” Buck hissed. “Sorry, Dr. Lindsay, but I’m just trans and last I checked, that wasn’t a mental illness anymore.”

“You’re a man who came into the ER claiming to be in labor. It was only logical for the triage nurse to call my department first,” Dr. Lindsay defended.

“Maybe it would be if I hadn’t already called down and told triage that I was expecting a trans patient to be coming in very soon.

“You can go now, Laurence,” Dr. Emerson dismissed him, barely giving the man a glance before fully turning her attention to Tommy. “Hi, I’m Dr. Michaela Emerson, Evan’s OBGYN.”

“Tommy Kinard, the baby’s other father.”

“We had a slightly drunken hookup about two months before I went off T. We only reconnected a few weeks ago. But the timeline fits for me going into labor now and it would explain why I haven’t had a period for the last six months,” Buck rambled. “And when I was pregnant with Isaac I read somewhere that something like one in every four-hundred-seventy-five pregnancies are considered a cryptic pregnancy, which is what this pregnancy would be. Although, only something like one in every twenty-five-hundred go to delivery without knowing they’re pregnant.”

“Well, from what I’ve heard, you’ve always been very good at beating the odds,” Tommy chuckled, kissing his knuckles.

“That Evan has. And don’t worry too much, Evan. Cryptic pregnancies this far along are uncommon, but this isn’t my first case and all the other cases I’ve seen everything turned out fine.

“Now, talk to me. How frequent are the contractions?”

“Every ten to fifteen minutes or so, around thirty seconds in length. But my back and hips have been hurting for a couple of days. I just thought it was from carrying Isaac around more than usual. He’s got the flu, so he’s been really clingy.”

“Well, let’s check how dilated you are and then we can move you up to L and D and we’ll talk more there. I’d let you go home, since I know the idea of giving birth here terrifies you, but I need to insist that you stay since you’ve had no prenatal care,” Dr. Emerson gently explained to Buck as she gloved up, Buck following her instructions for how to position himself.

“No arguments here, Doc. This time I’m more scared that I’ve somehow hurt my baby than I am that one of your nurses will call social services on me. I-I’ve been going into fires and drinking and I had sushi a couple times and Tommy flew me through a storm to a capsized cruise ship a couple weeks ago-” Buck’s rambling was cut off by a gentle kiss from Tommy.

“You’re spiraling, Evan. You just need to have a little faith, baby. Both of us have beat worse odds than this and our baby is a part of both of us, so they’ll be ok,” the older man whispered into Buck’s hair as he held him.

“Listen to Tommy, Evan,” Dr. Emerson told him, rolling away from the gurney and pulling off her gloves. “You’re about four centimeters dilated. Normally I would send you home until your contractions were closer or your water broke, but as we already discussed, this isn’t a normal labor.”

“So we’re going up to L and D?”

“We are. We’ll do an ultrasound when we get up there to get some measurements and double check your gestation. I believe you that you know your dates, but for records we need to do the ultrasound.

“Is there anyone you’d like us to call while I organize your transfer?”

“Daniel is on tonight,” Buck said. “Do you think you could have someone page him? He might be with a patient and he’ll respond to a page quicker than if I called him.”

“I can absolutely have your brother paged.”

“Thank you,” Buck breathed.

“Someone will be by soon to bring you upstairs.” And with that, Buck and Tommy were left alone again.

“They’ll probably keep me and the baby here for a few days for observation due to the circumstances,” Buck warned Tommy. “I’m going to ask Daniel to go home and pack me a bag, grab a few things for the baby. I don’t know how long it will be until I’m ready to deliver so I don’t know if you’ll have enough time to go home and pack a bag if you want to stay.”

“If you’re comfortable with me staying with you, then ‘lol call my friend Sal to bring me a bag tomorrow. I’ll have to call my captain tomorrow too to get some time off so I can help out. I don’t want you alone with the baby or recovering. I know you live with your brother and Eddie, but I want to be there for you, too.”

“Sal as in Sal DeLuca?”

“Yeah, he used to work at the One-Eighteen, but, uh…”

“I heard that Bobby tried to fire him. He’s also dating Eddie’s ex-wife, AKA my best friend. With Eddie’s current behavior, Shan knocked him out of first place,” Buck joked.

“So our best friends are-”

“Buck!” Daniel yelled as he ripped open the curtain to Buck’ section of triage. “What happened? Why are you in the ER?!”

“That was quicker than I thought it would be,” Buck commented instead of answering.

“I was already in the ER on a consult. Now, why. Are. You. Here?” Daniel growled with all of the patience of an older brother for his shifty younger sibling.

“I was on a date and realiz-oooh,” Buck moaned, hunching over and gripping Tommy’s hand in one of his own and the gurney railing in the other. He’d almost forgotten how much contractions hurt.

“What can I do?” Tommy asked, brushing Buck’s hair back with his free hand.

“J-” Buck paused to do some deep breathing. “Just keep holding my hand and maybe rub my back when we get upstairs. And tell me I’m doing great and I’ve got this. And ignore it if I yell at you or say I hate you. It’s not true, it’s just that labor is hell.”

“You’re in labor?!” Daniel gasped, coming around to Buck’s other side.

“Cryptic pregnancy. Tommy and I hooked up roughly nine months ago and then ran into each other a few weeks ago and decided to go on a date tonight. And now we’re here, about to have a baby together.”

“It looks like Tommy’s got you, so what do you need from me?” his brother asked, moving aside to make room for the volunteer in charge of transporting noncritical patients.

“They’re moving me up to L and D now. I need you to pack a bag for me when you get off and pick up a few simple outfits for the baby. I think I have a few of Isaac’s more gender neutral outfits saved. If you can’t find them, just run by Target and I’ll pay you back.”

“Consider it my first gift for my nibbling. Anything else?”

“I don’t want the baby alone for any reason. If Tommy and I can’t accompany the baby somewhere, then I need you to go with them,” Buck begged. He slid into the wheelchair effort his next contraction could have a chance to start.

“You don’t trust our baby lojacks?” Daniel teased, taking over for the volunteer.

“I trust exactly three people in this building. You, Tommy, and Dr. Emerson. Trusting the baby lojacks isn’t the problem. It’s trusting the staff in charge of them.”

The brothers spent the rest of the trip up to Buck’s room making a list of what Buck needed from home. Once Buck and Tommy reached the room, Daniel left them alone to make arrangements with his chief in case Buck needed him overnight.

It didn’t take long for Buck and Tommy to settle into their private room.

“Hey, Evan, settling ok?” Dr. Emerson asked as she and another doctor and nurse entered the room.

“I wish I had my own stuff,” Buck admitted from where he was bent over the bed and rocking his hips while Tommy rubbed the base of his spine, “but otherwise, yeah.”

“I wanted to introduce you to our neonatologist, Dr. Jacob Mathews, and the charge nurse for the unit, Melissa Nguyen. Dr. Mathews is going to be giving the baby a pretty thorough exam after they’re born, just to make sure everything is ok.”

“And I am here to reassure you that if any of my nurses try to abuse their responsibilities as mandatory reporters to bring DCFS down on you just because you’re trans, they will be punished and we will handle the situation,” Nurse Nguyen firmly promised. “I’m disgusted that any nurse who has ever walked these halls would behave so badly that they made a patient feel unsafe in our walls. I’m picking your nurses myself to make sure you feel safe.”

“I appreciate it,” Buck sighed, Tommy helping him stand and move around the bed so he could sit on it and still face the doctors and nurse. “I do have some wishes in terms of how I want my labor and birth to go.”

“And we’re here to listen to them,” Dr. Emerson swore, squatting in front of Buck and holding his hand. “Making sure you feel comfortable and safe is tied with keeping your baby safe for our number one priority.”

“No epidural. An epidural means that I have to deliver on my back and I refuse to do that unless it is absolutely medically necessary. If the water birth you talked about on my tour a couple years ago is still an option, then I want to try it,” Buck told Dr. Emerson. He hesitated before ultimately deciding to continue with his other requests. “You know I trust you, Dr. E. I trust you more than any other doctor I see outside of Dr. Snart. But Tommy is a firefighter with training to deliver a baby too. And if it’s possible, I would like him to catch the baby. Chris and Eddie catching Isaac was really special to me, made me feel like it was just the three of us even though Daniel was there too. It also took away some of the clinicalness of birth and made me feel less dysphoric about giving birth for some reason. I would like that with Tommy, too.”

“We can absolutely try to make all of that happen. I’ll need to be right there to make sure nothing goes wrong, but I’m comfortable with Tommy assisting in the delivery if he’s comfortable with that.”

“I-I think I would really like that actually,” Tommy told them. “I like the idea of it feeling like it’s just us,” he whispered just to Buck.

“Then barring any complications, we’ll proceed with a water birth and Tommy can guide the baby out.”

With that promise secured, Buck turned to Dr. Mathews. “I know you probably need to examine the baby as soon as possible after they’re born. But if it’s possible, I would like to delay the cord clamping for a few minutes and just hold my baby.”

“It’s usually pretty clear when a baby is in distress immediately after birth. Just like with your delivery, as long as I don’t see any complications with the baby, we can delay clamping and cutting the cord and give you two a few minutes with the baby,” Dr. Mathews assured the men. “I understand that this is likely a full term baby?”

“I think I might be somewhere between thirty-six and thirty-eight weeks, but I conceived while taking testosterone and never had a period.”

“And you’re sure of the timeline?” Dr. Mathews asked.

“Yes. Tommy is the only person with a penis I’ve slept with in nearly a decade and it was only the one time,” Buck deadpanned.

“Well, in that case, I’ve found that delaying cutting the cord and doing skin to skin right away at that stage can be very beneficial for the baby.” Buck had to give it to Dr. Mathews, he just moved past the awkwardness with grace.

“Finally, the baby doesn’t go anywhere without me, Tommy, or my brother, Daniel. I appreciate your promise that you’ll handle any calls to DCFS, but I would feel a lot better if someone I know and trust has eyes on the baby at all times, which means unless they need to be in the nursery for some kind of test, then I don’t want the baby there at all.”

“We’ll do our best to accommodate that,” Dr. Mathew’s told them. “What I’m most worried about is your baby’s lungs. If they’re lungs are fully developed, then they should be fine and won’t need extensive treatment. I understand from Dr. Emerson that your brother is a surgeon?”

Buck nodded, focusing on holding off the panic attack he could feel slowly building. “He’s a plastic surgeon. Daniel is actually working tonight and he’ll be back to check on me soon.”

“There are areas we can’t let parents or patients, but your brother should have access. But again, hopefully we won’t need to take the baby for extensive testing or treatment.”

“For now though, our focus is on you,” Dr. Emerson reminded him. She helped Buck lean back in the bed and cover up so he didn’t feel overexposed during the coming exam. “We’re going to do a quick ultrasound and then put some monitors on.”

Buck was an old pro at getting an ultrasound, so he just held Tommy’s hand and looked at the monitor.

“Well, I don’t think I can tell you if the baby is a boy or a girl, but I can tell you that they are in the right position for birth and they appear full term, if not on the smaller side for two big men like yourselves.”

“My mom’s side of the family is on the shorter side,” Tommy told her. “And Evan’s sister is pretty tiny too.”

“It could be that the baby is just taking after those sides of your family. Don’t start worrying quite yet,” the doctor ordered them, wiping off Buck’s stomach and then telling him to sit up. “These belly bands are going to monitor your contractions and the baby’s heartbeat, but they’ll limit your ability to move around. We have another option, which is a patch that is Bluetooth enabled and would just monitor the baby’s heartbeat. Since you aren’t getting an epidural, we rely on you to monitor your own contractions.”

“The patch!” Buck exclaimed as soon as Dr. Emerson was done explaining his options. “Walking around and moving really helped with my labor with Isaac so not being tied to my bed sounds great.”

“Then we’ll apply that and get you an extra gown so your back isn’t exposed before we leave you guys alone for a while. We’ll check on your progress in an hour.”

It took another ten minutes before Buck and Tommy were left in peace.

“Do you think the baby is a boy or a girl?” Buck asked his maybe (hopefully) boyfriend to break the silence.

“I keep picturing you with a little girl, just her on your hip at the zoo, completely absorbed with the animals,” Tommy admitted. “I’ll be happy either way, but when I pictured our future with this baby, that was the first thing I saw in my mind.”

“I guess being trans I don’t really put much stock in birth sex, and I love having a son, but I keep picturing you braiding our daughter’s hair. Do you have any preferences for names?”

“I was close with my maternal grandma, Nonna Albina, but I would never saddle a child with the name. For a boy, I always loved the name Jason. Don’t know why, but whenever I let myself think about having kids, I thought of a boy named Jason.”

Buck hummed, feeling a contraction build. “My contractions are starting to get closer and longer.” When the contraction was over, he went back to the conversation about names.

“I like Jason. Would you be opposed to using Thomas as a middle name?”

“Honestly? My middle name is my father’s name and it was always like it meant I had to be what he wanted me to be. Like I was just an extension of him. I’d rather the baby wasn’t named after either of us. But you’re close to your brother, so what about Daniel for a middle name?”

“Jason Daniel Buckley-Kinard,” Buck said aloud, letting the name roll off his tongue. “I really like that.”

“Then if we have a boy that will be his name. Do you have any preferences for a girl’s name?”

“I know what I want for a middle name. But for the first, what about a name that starts with A? So she’s not named directly after your nonna, but her name is connected,” the younger man suggested.

“That would mean a lot to me.”

The two men talked a little more before the nurse came in to check on Buck, accompanied by Nurse Nguyen.

“Buck, Tommy, this is Jasmine Auclair. I hired her about seven months ago. Before that, she worked at a hospital in Boston. You can trust her.”

Something about Nurse Auclair, who insisted on being called Jasmine, put Buck at ease. She was able to joke with Tommy and effortlessly distracted Buck while checking his cervix. “You’re progressing well. Your chart indicates you were at four centimeters when you were admitted in the ER and you’re almost six now. I was told you wanted to move and I think taking a walk around the unit would be ok. Don’t worry about waking anyone up. No one gets much sleep around here,” she giggled, causing Buck and Tommy to laugh too.

Since Buck didn’t have an IV and the only monitor he was attached to was Bluetooth, it was a simple thing to get up and start walking. They spent the walk getting to know each other better. Buck told Tommy more about why he was no contact with his parents unless it was a major family event. Tommy told Buck more about growing up in his own dysfunctional family and the generational trauma he’d worked hard to overcome. It was their second slow lap around the maternity unit and Buck’s fifth contraction since they started walking when they ran into someone unexpected.

“Buck?” a semi-familiar voice called From behind him. When the contraction was finally over and Buck was able to let go of Tommy’s shoulders, he turned around to see a heavily pregnant Kameron Jacob’s. She was fully dressed and sitting in a wheelchair with a nurse behind her, no Connor in sight.

“H-hi, Kameron. Uh, g-good to see you again. C-congrats on the b-baby?”

“Thank you,” she whispered, avoiding eye contact with Buck. At least Buck wasn’t alone in the awkward confrontation. “Now if he would just move it along and get here,” she nervously chuckled.

“F-false labor?” Buck asked.

“Yep. I thought it was the real thing so I called an Uber but I was wrong. They’re sending me home.”

“Braxton Hicks contractions are a bitch,” he commiserated. Buck felt another contraction and winced, leaning back against Tommy.

“A-and you? Th-this is the maternity unit.”

“Cryptic pregnancy. Definitely a shock for me and my boyfriend. I was already planning on a second child, but I never imagined I would already be pregnant.”

“Lucky you.” Kameron’s voice was drowning in venom and Buck winced again, this time from the realization of what he just said. It was probably insensitive to tell a woman struggling with conceiving how he accidently got pregnant. Buck needed to change the subject.

“Wh-where’s Connor? You said you took an Uber.” Kameron immediately deflated, turning small and sheepish.

“He’s with a bunch of your old roommates. We’ve been fighting because he started having second thoughts about the baby.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.” Buck really wanted out of this conversation, but he didn’t know how without being even more rude than he had already been. But luck was on Buck’s side and he was soon given two great excuses to move on. Connor came barreling around the corner and at the same time, Buck’s water broke.

“I think it’s best I get Evan back to our room and you two should get home and get some rest. Good luck with your baby,” Tommy told them, diffusing the tension and helping Buck down the hall in the opposite direction the Jacobs’ were going. “Me and that poor nurse were drowning in second hand embarrassment,” he said, trying to prompt Buck to explain what Tommy had missed before sitting him on the bed and hitting the call button.

Buck moaned, not enjoying the topic they needed to about and also feeling his strongest contraction yet. “Connor and I were roommates when I first moved to LA. We basically lived in a frat house and my probie year I sorta moved in with my girlfriend at the time and we lost contact. Until about a year and a half ago when he and his wife, Kameron, who I had never met, asked me to lunch. I thought he wanted to catch up.”

“But he didn’t?” Tommy guessed, briefly turning his attention to Jasmine to tell her Buck’s water broke. The blond got her attention long enough to tell her it was only twenty minutes between his water breaking and needing to push with his last delivery. A quick exam showed he was now rapidly dilating so Jasmine called Dr. Emerson and went to prepare the tub.

“Tell me why your old roommate asked you to lunch,” Tommy instructed, trying to distract Buck from the incoming medical staff.

“They were having trouble conceiving, so they asked me to be their sperm donor,” Buck explained, keeping his eyes on Tommy.

“Wow. I mean, even if you weren’t trans, asking someone he hadn’t talked to in almost a decade took some balls. Also, you two look nothing alike and they gave the vibe of wanting to pretend everything was normal and that they didn’t need a donor.”

“I got that vibe too when we had lunch.

“Hey, Tommy? Was it ok that I called you my boyfriend when I was talking to Kameron?”

“Of course, Evan. I’m glad you feel comfortable enough to call me that.”

“Ok, Evan, time to move to the bath,” Dr. Emerson announced, breaking up their moment.

 

CHAPTER FIVE

“How do you feel, Evan?” Tommy asked once Buck was settled in the bath.

“The water is helping a lot. Won’t be long before I need to push. Pushing didn’t take long with Isaac, either.”

“Which is why we have so much medical staff hanging around right now,” Tommy acknowledged the people around the edges of the room and by the door.

Buck started laughing, but quickly was cut off by a new contraction, groaning and humming his way through it. “That one was really strong and really close,” he breathed once it was over.

“You know your body,” Dr. Emerson stated, shifting behind Tommy. “If you need to push, then push.”

“Maybe another contraction or two,” he exhaled.

“You are doing amazing, Evan, and I’m so proud of you,” Tommy whispered. Buck turned his head for a kiss, which Tommy gladly gave him. He broke it with a deep groan, gripping the sides of the tub, instinctively bearing down.

The room shrank down to just Buck, Tommy, and their baby. It was a blur of pain and pressure and praise before finally it was all over.

“Oh my God, hi baby!” Buck gasped as Tommy pulled their baby out of the water and laid them on his chest. “You were a really big surprise, but I’m so happy to meet you!”

“So, boys, do you have a new son or a daughter?” Dr. Emerson quietly asked, barely heard over the baby’s screams.

“A daughter, we have a daughter,” Tommy answered, unable to hold his own tears back. “And I don’t think she’s as happy to meet us as we are to meet her, Evan,” he laughed, laying a big hand across Buck’s own on the baby’s back.

“Audra is just a little scared. Just a few hours ago she was tucked up all safe and warm under my heart. Now she’s out in the world and it’s so big and cold and loud,” Buck cooed.

“Audra?” Tommy asked, stroking her dark hair as she started to calm down.

“Audra Faith. In Lithuania, Audra means storm. We conceived her during a storm and then we met again during another storm. When I think about all the signs I missed, that helicopter flight was the only time I can remember feeling her move. I just brushed it off as my brain trying to remind me I had to get home safe to Isaac,” Buck explained.

“I like it,” Tommy promised. “And she did come into our lives like a little storm. I’m almost tempted to call her Addie, but I have an ex from before I came out named Abby.”

“I have an ex named Abby too,” Buck laughed, thinking for a moment of when Patricia Clark confused him with Abby’s boyfriend before him, also named Tommy. But that was a question to ask later, when Buck wasn’t riding the post-birth hormones. “But I kinda like the idea of calling her Addie. I don’t think we’ll ever get her confused with our exes.”

“You’re right. What about Faith? Where did you get that one from?”

“You. When I was in the ER, panicking that I did something wrong and hurt her, you told me that I just needed to have a little faith that she was going to be fine. So her name is Audra Faith Buckley-Kinard.”

“It’s perfect,” Tommy sniffed. “She’s perfect. Thank you, Evan. Thank you for letting me be here, for giving me this.”

“If I had known I was pregnant before we saw each other again, I would have hunted you down,” Buck promised. “There was never a chance I wasn’t going to leave it entirely up to you how involved you want to be.”

“All in, Evan. I am all in.”

“Ok boys. Time for Daddy to cut the cord so we can give Audra a good look over,” Dr. Emerson gently interrupted him. “Evan, they’re just going to take Audra into your room. Daniel is in there, so she won’t be alone, or he and Tommy can switch.”

“Tommy, go with Addie,” Buck quickly decided, watching Dr. Emerson with an eagle eye as she clamped the umbilical cord that had connected Buck and Audra for nearly nine months. “She needs her father, not her uncle.”

“Are you sure you’ll be ok? I don’t want to leave you alone, either.”

“I’m sure.”

With one sure snip, Tommy separated father and daughter. Jasmine swooped in and carefully bundled up Audra, taking her away for Dr. Mathew’s to examine.

By the time Daniel had taken Tommy’s place, Buck had delivered the placenta and Nurse Nguyen was prepping a quick shower for him. Buck wanted to take as short a shower as possible so he could get back to his baby as soon as possible. He hadn’t known about her for even twelve hours, but being apart from her for even a minute was tearing apart. Just like how he felt when Isaac was born. Knowing that Tommy was with their little girl was a small comfort.

“I have a daughter,” Buck blurted out. He beamed up at his big brother as the older man helped him out of the bloody water and into the shower.

“I saw,” Daniel chuckled. “She’s gorgeous and your newest co-parent is absolutely besotted with her. You found a good guy.”

“I really want things to work out with him,” Buck confided, carefully washing his body. “I’ve been thinking about him since I met him. But I’m scared, Danny.”

“You haven’t called me that since you were a kid,” Daniel remarked with a sad smile. “Talk to me, baby brother.”

“I’m afraid Tommy and I will get so caught up in being Audra’s parents that we won’t take the time to put in the work to build a strong relationship. Or that we’ll prioritize being partners over parents. And then there’s the fact that I have a daughter. What if I can’t be a good dad to her because of how I rejected all things girly growing up, even when I liked them?” Buck rambled, his arms going limp. Daniel easily took over, shampooing Buck’s hair after rinsing the soap from his body.

“First, you and Tommy will never put yourselves before your daughter in a way that harms her. Sometimes your needs come first so you guys can be the best dads possible. But putting your relationship over Audra? I don’t believe you two would do that. It’s obvious how much you love her,” Daniel reassured him.

“Second, let me ask you something. Audra wants to paint your nails, put some play makeup on you, and hand you a tiara for a tea party. Would you fight her? Tell her that men don’t do that?”

“No way! Plenty of men wear makeup and paint their nails. But I think I might need to work with Dr. Snart to make sure I don’t let my dysphoria or my trauma keep me from being able to enjoy playing with my daughter.”

“Then you make sure you do that. Maybe have Tommy join you for a few sessions and/or find a couples therapist,” Daniel suggested. He helped Buck out of the shower and into boxers lined with the pad the hospital provided followed by the sweats the Daniel had gotten from his car. Then it was a slow walk to the bed one of the nurses had made up with fresh sheets. When Buck looked toward the corner, Tommy was hovering over DDr. Mathew’s and bassinet holding a screaming Audra.

“So you’re saying that she’s ok for now?” Tommy nervously confirmed with the doctor.

“Her lungs sound great, her color is good, her reactions are on point. We’re still gonna run some tests on her blood and keep her for a couple days for observation,” Dr. Mathews told Tommy. Buck couldn’t see exactly what he was doing, but the vague movements made him think the doctor was putting a diaper on the baby. “For now, I’m prescribing a bottle. Being born takes a lot of energy and this little lady is probably hungry.”

“Can I try nursing her?” Buck called out. “I haven’t had any alcohol and I really liked nursing my son.”

“As long as you and her are comfortable then I’m fine with that,” Dr. Mathews answered. He Carefully picked up a squirming Audra, who was still crying her heart out and breaking Buck’s, and carried her over. Once she was settled on Buck’s chest she instantly calmed down. “Did you nurse your son exclusively?”

“No. I also needed to bottle feed with formula. The type of top surgery I had left me with just enough structure to produce milk, but not enough to nurse exclusively,” he explained, positioning Audra so that she could latch on. It took her a couple of tries, but eventually she figured it out and started to nurse.

“Is it weird that I’m a little jealous you get to have this connection and this time with her?”

Buck tore his eyes away from Audra to look at Tommy taking a seat in the plastic chair next to the bed. He slid over and nodded to the empty spot next to him, encouraging Tommy to move over. “It’s not weird. Nursing is a huge opportunity for bonding. I can’t magically give you the ability to nurse, and it won’t be exactly the same, but maybe when you give her a bottle you can also do skin to skin?”

“I think I would really like that,” Tommy agreed. “Dr. Mathews is happy with her. Said she definitely is full term, but small. Five pounds ten ounces and just under nineteen inches long. They want to watch her for a couple of days, but barring anything extreme, we can take her home then.” Neither man noticed the room slowly clearing out.

“I’m looking forward to that, but we need to talk about what that means for us and what it looks like.”

“I don’t want to miss anything, but I recognize that we’ve only been on one date and we’re not ready to move in together,” Tommy acknowledged. Tommy couldn’t take his eyes off of Audra and Buck couldn’t blame him.

“I want us to be good parents together, first and foremost. I was serious when I told you I wanted to see what we could be. But it’s going to take time and work. I see a therapist regularly, would you be willing to see him with me for a session or two? Or maybe we could find a couples counselor to help us figure out how to balance those things?” Buck barely got through his sentence before his jaw was dropping open for a large yawn. Audra seemed to agree. And pulled away from his chest to give an adorable yawn of her own.

“I think couples counseling sounds like a great idea. We can see your therapist for a session or two, but I think we should probably find one who doesn’t know either of us,” Tommy agreed as he combed his hand through Buck’s hair. “But I think we should pause the conversation so you two can get some sleep. You’ve both had a long night. I’ll make sure the nurses don’t take Audra out of the room.”

“You need some sleep, too,” Buck weakly argues. “And I need to burp her first.”

“I can burp her and swaddle her. I’ve helped friends with their newborns before.” Tommy reached out and Buck carefully eased their daughter into her other father’s arms. “If it makes you feel better, I’ll take a nap when Daniel comes back with your stuff.”

Buck was already falling asleep, just listening to Tommy talk and nodding when he promised to take a nap later. But he still had one last question for Tommy and the older man laughed at his unintelligible mumbles.

“What was that, sweetheart?”

“What do you want her to call you?”

“I was thinking Papa or just Dad.”

“Not Daddy?’

“Until you told me you were in labor, I was thinking of certain situations where I wanted you to call me Daddy,” Tommy whispered into the younger man’s ear. “Be a little weird for our daughter to call me that after having those thoughts.”

Buck summed up just enough energy to give Tommy a flirtatious grin and pressed a kiss to his shoulder. “We can come back to that in six to eight weeks when I’m cleared.”

Buck didn’t hear Tommy’s response as he drifted off to sleep, but he did remember hearing and feeling Tommy’s deep laugh.

When Buck woke up a couple hours later, Tommy was sleeping on a cramped couch off to the side and Daniel was typing out something on his phone. Next to Daniel was Audra’s bassinet and it looked like she was waking up.

“Can you hand me the baby?” he mumbled as he sat up. “I need to try feeding her again.”

“Get comfortable and then I’ll hand her to you. I told Bobby and Athena you were in the hospital and they agreed to work with Eddie to watch Isaac until you’re released.” Daniel and Buck had plenty of practice passing a newborn back and forth so Audra was quickly settled on Buck’s chest and nursing.

“Did you tell them why I was in here?”

“Nope. Figured they’re your surrogate parents so you should tell them. And I don’t know how you want to tell Eddie.”

“Carefully. He’s planning to move Marisol in, told me that made the decision last night. I’m gonna call a family meeting to talk about Tommy moving into the guest room temporarily for a month or two while we adjust to having Audra and caring for her. I can’t really kick Marisol out if I’m asking for Tommy to stay.”

“There’s a difference, Buck. You’re asking if the father of your new baby, who you weren’t expecting, can stay temporarily. And it’s completely normal for you to want her other parent there for you both. Eddie is moving his girlfriend into our house without talking about it after you warned him you don’t know her well enough to be a caregiver to Isaac,” Daniel disagreed with his brother’s analysis of the situation. “And if Tommy is comfortable with your idea, I’m fine with it. But make sure that you still put the work into your relationship so it doesn’t backfire on you. Have some kind of boundaries for when you need time or space.”

“We agreed to see Dr. Snart and get a recommendation for a couples counselor,” Buck promised.

“Good.”

“Can you hand me my phone so I can check on Isaac?”

Less than a minute later, Bobby’s face was filling Buck’s phone screen. It didn’t matter how early or late it was, Buck could count on the man he thought of as a father to answer.

“Hey, kid. Daniel let us know you were admitted to the hospital last night. What’s going on? Are you ok?”

“Hey, Bobby. I’m ok, but I do need to talk to you and Athena. Can you grab her for me?” Buck was being careful to angle the phone so that Audra was out of view for now.

“Everything ok, baby?” Athena asked as she slid into frame.

“You know how I said I met Tommy at a club almost a year ago?” he asked Bobby, receiving a nod in return. “Well I rounded up. I met Tommy a little under nine months ago.”

“Buck, are you saying…” Athena trailed off, obviously catching onto Buck’s bare shoulders and the timeline. She and Bobby both gasped when Buck shifted the phone to show Audra, still focused entirely on eating.

“Meet your new granddaughter. Audra Faith Buckley-Kinard. I realized about halfway through our date that I was having contractions. I gave birth around two AM.” Audra unlatched and Buck used a water pitcher to prop his phone up while he burped her. “We’re planning to call her Addie.”

“And where’s Tommy now?” Bobby asked. Buck settled Audra on the other side and picked the phone back up, turning it to show Tommy snoring away.

“He stayed with me my whole labor then stayed awake to watch Addie so I could get some sleep. I’m a little paranoid about the nurse taking her anywhere without us after what happened when I was pregnant with Isaac. He only fell asleep when Daniel got her and could take over,” the blond explained. A sudden smell assaulted his nose as Audra started grunting. “But I’m going to wake him up so he can experience the joy of Addie’s first diaper change.” They said quick goodbyes and planned to talk again later before hanging up the phone.

“I got him,” Daniel said, jumping up to shake Tommy awake.

“What’s wrong? Is Audra ok?” Tommy gasped as he bolted upright on the couch.

“She’s fine, Tommy. My brother just got a little overzealous with waking you up for me. I thought you might want to share in the ‘joy’ of Audra’s first diaper change,” Buck teased. He carefully encouraged her to let go of his nipple and burped her again in case she fell asleep after getting changed. “Welcome to fatherhood.”

Tommy roughly rubbed at his eyes and stood up to grab a clean diaper and wipes from the collection under the bassinet. “I’m sure I’m gonna love it, even when it’s gross.” Tommy laid out a spare swaddling blanket at the foot of Buck’s bed and carefully unwrapped Audra before laying her on it. She started crying and squirming when the cold air hit her so Tommy did his best to soothe her. “Oh, I’m sorry Addie, baby. Dad will be sooo quick. I’m just gonna change your diaper and then I’ll wrap you back up so you’re nice and warm,” he cooed, rubbing her tummy as he undid her old diaper. Buck had to give his boyfriend credit, Tommy didn’t wince or gag as he changed their daughter.

“I’m gonna go to the diner down the street and get breakfast for us,” Daniel announced. “You three deserve all the privacy so you can bond and to eat something other than hospital food. Anything that you guys don’t want?”

“Protein and carbs. I need all the protein and carbs,” Buck moaned at the thought, nearly salivating. “No orange juice.”

“I’ll get you that weird strawberry apple juice you like. What about you, Tommy? Any requests?”

“I agree with the protein and carbs, but if you get something like fruit salad, no kiwi. I’m allergic to kiwi,” Tommy informed them both. “Do we have clothes for her?”

“I got a couple sleep suits and some onesies. I also grabbed some socks and pants,” Daniel said, grabbing the smaller bag with Audra’s stuff in it. “I have a buddy who does custom printed tee shirts making her a onesie, too. I’m gonna pick it up later.”

“Do I wanna know what it says?” Buck sighed, watching Tommy to fasten Audra’s new diaper and dig through the bag with one hand, the other on her belly to keep her from rolling (despite her not being capable of that yet). It was cute when he crowed triumphantly, holding up a tiny pair and pale yellow socks.

“It says ‘Hide and Seek Champion Twenty-Twenty-Four!’” Daniel looked so pleased with himself for that.

“I need that onesie ASAP so I can use it for her birth announcement photos,” Buck sternly told his brother.

“You got it. I’ll be back soon. Oh, and I texted Ella so she’ll be stopping by soon.” And then Daniel was gone with a jaunty salute.

“Which one, Evan?” Tommy asked, holding up a pale blue sleeper with clouds on it and a pink onesie the proclaimed Audra ‘Daddy’s Princess.’

“The onesie will be easier to change her diaper with. But I have a third option. You take off your shirt and come sit next to me for some skin to skin time,” Buck suggested, moving to the soft he’s been in the night before so Tommy could squish in again.

Once Tommy was settled, Audra snoozing on his chest with a blanket covering her back, Buck brings up living together.

“I had an idea. I’d rather Audra sleep in my room for the first few months like Isaac did, but I don’t want you to miss anything. So I was going to call a family meeting about you moving into the guest room temporarily. We’ll have to figure out boundaries for it, but neither of us would miss time with Addie while she’s so little. If you aren’t comfortable with that, then we can figure something out,” Buck offered. “The meeting is formality at this point since Daniel is ok with it and Eddie doesn’t have a leg to stand on.”

“Can I think about it for a day or two and get back to you? You’re right that it would be practical for Addie’s care, but there’s a lot to consider.”

“Do you think you could get me an answer by the time we’re discharged?”

“At the latest,” Tommy swore, leaning over to kiss Buck’s birthmark.

“Now that her hair’s dry, I realize that Audra has your curls,” Tommy pointed out. “Your chin and your nose, too.”

“But her coloring is all you and I think she has your lips, your cheek bones, and your eyes,” Buck sighed, a dreamy look on his face as he traced those features on the baby’s face. “She looks like your mini-me.”

“Yeah?” Tommy chuckled. “Poor kid.”

“Nah, I like that she looks like you,” Buck disagreed. “At least people won’t be able to really argue that she isn’t yours. I’ll do a paternity test if you need one, but I won’t tolerate those kinds of doubts from others,” he warned.

“I don’t need a paternity test, but I don’t know if we’ll need to do one for her birth certificate since we’re not married.”

“If I remember from when Maddie had Jee-Yun, as long as we do a voluntary declaration of paternity her, you’ll get all the same legal rights and we won’t need to do any kind of DNA testing.

“But speaking of paternity, LAFD offers twelve weeks of paid leave. I don’t think we have to split them between us either.”

“I want to take the full time offered to me, but there are a limited number of trained pilots so I don’t want to leave them without me for too long,” Tommy sighed, stroking his hand down Audra’s back before brushing a finger over her curls. “But she needs me too. You need me too.”

“You could take half of the time off then go back part time?” Buck suggested.

Tommy looked at his watch and used one hand to hold Audra and the other to grab his phone from his pocket. “No time, like the present. The sooner I get this started the better.”

There was something about watching Tommy split his attention between his call and Audra so effortlessly and Buck couldn’t resist taking a photo of them. He’s managed to catch Tommy smiling down at Audra, her face turned toward Buck. The photo made it clear how much Tommy loved their daughter and he made it the other man’s contact photo. He was planning to get one of the three of them and Isaac when they finally went home to use as his lock screen.

A knock sounded just as Tommy hung up the phone and Sal stuck his head in the open door. He had a wide grin until he caught sight of Buck. Then he became confused. “Wait, what are you doing here Buck?”

“Buck?!” he heard Shannon blurt out from behind Sal. For someone so tiny, she had no problem pushing her boyfriend out of the way. “Tommy? What are you two doing together?”

“So. Funny story,” Tommy sheepishly said.

“Wait, is this the guy from Glitter and Gold?!” Shannon gasped, coming over to Buck’s side of the bed and leaning over to coo at Audra, using Tommy’s pecs as pillows.

“Yeah. Ran into each other again for that cruise ship call and we went on a date last night that ended here.”

“Shit man. I can’t believe you have a kid now,” Sal exclaimed, coming around to drop a bag on the couch.

“Sal, Shannon, meet your new honorary goddaughter, Audra Faith,” Buck introduced. “Full term, so far perfectly healthy, just a little on the small side.”

Audra started squirming and huffing on Tommy’s chest, mouthing at any skin she could reach. “Oh, baby girl, you aren’t going to find what you want there,” he nearly giggled.

“It’s about time for me to feed her again. She eats so little right now we don’t need formula, but in a few days we can start splitting feedings,” Buck told him, transferring the baby to his own chest. “If we’re lucky, she won’t fight us on the bottle feeding.”

“We’ll figure it out if she does,” Tommy assured him.

“So, Buck, did you tell Eddie about Audra yet?” Shannon asked.

“No,” Buck softly confessed. “I’ve been putting it off, but I should probably call him, get it over and done with.”

Buck grabbed his phone from the rolling table and scrolled through his call log until he found Eddie’s contact. He took a deep breath to steady himself and hit call, quickly deciding to put the phone on speaker so he didn’t have to hold it. Eddie answered on nearly the last ring.

“Hey, Buck, did you drink too much and pass out on Tommy’s couch?” he chuckled. “I’m a little busy helping Marisol pack so you’ll need to get an Uber or have Tommy drop you off.”

“Actually, Eddie, I’m in the hospital. I’ll be here for a few days and I need to talk to you about why.”

“If this is about caring for Isaac while, I’ve got it. Marisol and I can handle him.” Buck could all but hear Eddie rolling his eyes.

“No. We’ve talked about this, Eddie. I don’t want Marisol to take care of him. I don’t know her, even after almost a year. I don’t know how she feels about my son, or if she truly understands her place in his life. If you leave her alone with Isaac, I’m going to lose my freakin’ mind.

“Bobby and Athena are going to help you figure out a care plan for our son. That isn’t why I called you though. We need to talk about why I’m in the hospital,” Buck reiterated.

“I’m guessing you did something reckless or self-sacrificing and got hurt,” Eddie deadpanned. “In which case, I don’t want to know. The details would probably just piss me off.

“I need to go. I have a shift starting at noon tomorrow. I’m going to figure out with Marisol a schedule for Isaac. You’re being unreasonable and selfish, so we’re done talking about this. She’s moving in and she’s going to be part of Isaac’s life.” There was a click and then silence, indicating that the call was over.

“What the hell?” Shannon hissed. “Did he just say that Marisol is moving in? With my child? Without talking to me about it? Then call you unreasonable for wanting to know your child’s stepmother better before letting her care for said child? Because moving her in is Eddie basically saying he’s going to marry that broad.”

“Broad, honey?” Sal chuckled, watching Shannon pace the tiny hospital room. She just gave him the finger and kept going.

“Yeah. We need to have a talk, but I don’t think we can do it on our own without fighting, but Eddie won’t go see Dr. Snart with me again. He thinks since he’s not in active crisis he doesn’t need to see a therapist,” Buck sighed. He encouraged Audra to unlatch when he felt his milk stop flowing and burped her before moving her to his other side.

“Stubborn idiot,” Shannon muttered before dropping back into her previous seat. “I’m voting we stage an intervention.”

“It’s worth a shot. We don’t have many options left.”

“Who do you have left to tell about the newest member of our weird ass family?” Sal asked, taking a seat on the bed by Tommy’s feet. Buck was thankful for the change in subject.

“My sister and Chimney, the Wilsons, my parents, and Isaac’s godparents. I think I’m going to wait until we’re home, though. My parents are only going to find out because Maddie’s wedding is coming up and we won’t be able to avoid each other. The Wilsons are getting a new foster child, so I want to give them time to adjust before I bother them. Which leaves Maddie, Chimney, and Isaac’s godparents. They aren’t a top priority though, so they can wait.”

“What about Kendra and Paige? Are you going to tell them at your next support group?” Shannon asked, eyeing the baby.

“I texted them earlier. Just waiting for them to get back to me. Could you hand me that onesie and grab me a shirt?” Buck requested. “I think Addie is done and I want to wrap her up.”

“Dibs on holding her!” Shannon cried as she jumped back up out of her chair.

“Ooorrr…” a new voice joined them. Buck looked over and was relieved to see Ella with Daniel right behind her. “I’ll give this little miracle a look over and you can observe me,” the midwife suggested. “Give the new dads a chance to eat their breakfast.”

“Please, Ella. I would really appreciate it if you looked her over. I trust you waayyy more than the doctors here,” Buck drawled. Daniel put their breakfast t on the rolling table and Ella took the baby and laid her in the bassinet. Buck listened to her explain to Shannon what she was doing and why as he shrugged into his shirt and opened his breakfast, Tommy following his lead.

Looking around at his family and friends, the only one missing was Isaac. But Buck would see him soon and he was safe. His family would be ok.

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