Reading Time: 155 Minutes

Title: My Body is a Temple (It Doesn’t Belong to Me)
Author: Eff_Dragonkiller
Fandom: 9-1-1
Genre: Angst, Contemporary, Crime Drama, Drama, Family, Hurt/Comfort, Kid!fic
Relationship(s): Gen, Margaret Buckley/Philip Buckley
Content Rating: R
Warnings: Hate Speech, Major Character Death, Violence-Domestic, Violence-Against Children, Issues of Medical Consent, Lack of Body Autonomy, Emotional Child Abuse, Physical Child Abuse, Child Neglect, Non-consensual Medical Procedures, Cancer, Graphic depictions of illness
Alpha: Meduseld
Word Count: 70.708
Summary: The best thing that ever happened to Daniel Buckley was the birth of his brother Evan. The worst thing that ever happened to Evan Buckley was the survival of his brother Daniel. Sixteen years after Daniel’s first transplant, someone notices that the Buckleys might be willing to do anything for Daniel, but it shouldn’t include the death of their younger son.
Artist: Kirlika

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Part Three: continued

Friday, February 27, 2009

“It’s absolutely ridiculous that Daniel has to endure this foolish thing,” Margaret sneered. Daniel could hear it in her voice through the open door into his hospital room. “My son doesn’t need to talk to some counselor. He doesn’t need it. He’s not going to die.”

“You were the one who argued that Daniel should participate in the research trial,” Dr. Bachman replied, not patient, though he was calm in a way most doctors who had to deal with his mother usually couldn’t pull off for more than the first hour.

No, Dr. Bachman was… maybe resolved was the right word. Just like the evening social services had come and taken Evan. He was resolved that nothing the Buckleys said was going to change his course of action.

“What are you saying, Doctor?” Philip huffed, “That part of the research trial involves counseling?”

“Yes. Part of our obligation as doctors is to mitigate whatever harm we can to our patients, and that includes mental and emotional harm. It’s part of our policy that each patient in the study participates in end-of-life counseling.”

The voices grew muted as the door to the rest of the hospital closed softly.

When Daniel turned, the counselor taking the other armchair was the same man who’d counseled Victory. He faced out toward the window instead of at Daniel and though the rain had stopped days ago, the chill it had brought him hadn’t dissipated much.

“Are you the counselor Dr. Bachman wanted me to see?”

“Something like that.”

“You spoke with Victory on her last day.”

“Victory found a great deal of comfort and purpose in trying to ease the struggles of other patients. She didn’t want anyone to feel that they were facing death alone.” His voice was low and deep and there was a comfort to the sound of the old man that Daniel didn’t quite understand.

“I feel like I shouldn’t be so sad about her death.” Daniel finally admitted. He’d been staring at the place in the garden where he’d met Victory, consoling himself with the visual and the memory when it had felt like no one was listening. Now he turned to his visitor.

The man was older, with dark skin and curly hair turning white with age. His eyes were deep and kind and though his mouth was relaxed in neutrality, there was something about the corners that made Daniel think he was far more accustomed to smiling.

“Relationships are seeded, rooted, and bloom on a schedule only those involved can measure as good, healthy, or close.” The old man said, “no one else will see the relationship as clearly because they do not have all the pieces.”

“Still,” Daniel persisted, feeling uncomfortable, “I didn’t even know her name.”

“Names are a passing thing,” his guest said abruptly, “people change them, shorten them, mutate them, and pick entirely new ones based on the horoscope in the paper and phase of the moon.” Daniel snorted, and the man offered him a sly smile. “What matters is that your heart had reached out to theirs. No one else should tell you that moment of connection didn’t matter.”

“My mom thinks it shouldn’t matter.” Daniel said after a moment, “she was mad that I’d heard Victory was gone. That I’d made a connection with another patient.”

“Perhaps she doesn’t like putting death and you in the same mental space.” A quirky smile was offered, “it certainly didn’t sound like it.”

“I don’t know.” Daniel laughed a little and then shrugged. “Mom keeps saying that I’ll beat the cancer. Dad, too. They believe that talking about it isn’t necessary.”

“But isn’t it?” The old man said quietly, “No one else in the hospital is saying that you’ll beat it, Daniel. Is their insistence that you’ll recover – is it encouraging? Or does it feel smothering?”

The door to the rest of the hospital slammed open hard enough to shake the pictures on their frames and the machines on their poles.

Margaret was disheveled, her hair out of place and her blouse tugged just out of alignment. A wild light had entered her eyes. “Get out.”

Daniel’s companion stood without a creak, a crack, or a groan, but he stood silently as he seemed to gage Daniel’s mother. His shadow on the wall seemed to move. Daniel almost swore he saw it grow a hood and a staff. But the next moment it was gone, and the gentleman had turned toward the garden door.

“It appears our time is up.”

“I am done with doctors insisting they know better. With experts insisting that my son’s health issues are valid only if they shove his possible death in our face every day!” Her voice rose to a shriek as she stared at the counselor. “I said get out, and I meant it!”

The man turned toward Daniel, “There’s not a right or wrong answer, but I would like you to consider, Daniel – are you upset at Victory’s death for her sake? Or because it’s making you think about your own?”

Margaret shook as she screamed, “Get out! Get out! Get out!”

And his guest, whose name Daniel hadn’t received, picked up his cane, adjusted his hat and stepped out into the bright garden without a goodbye.

Margaret hovered near Daniel. “Don’t worry, sweetheart, you won’t have to see that nasty man again.”

“He was just doing his job, Mom.”

Her cheeks flushed red and she stuttered in her rage, seemingly incapable of getting the words out of her mouth to explain how terrible the situation was to her. Philip stepped up behind her, carefully gathering her in his arms, pressing her back together.

“Your mother is just worried, Daniel.” Philip said, “If these doctors and nurses are so insistent that we have to… confront this—as though we haven’t been fighting it since you were diagnosed—then they might influence you into giving up.”

“Which you’re not allowed to do,” Margaret choked out, “ever.”

Victory’s words were on the tip of his tongue, everyone died eventually, but Daniel swallowed them back. Maybe they were right. Maybe everyone had gotten into his head. He still had time to fight back.

“Right,” Daniel coughed. “Not going anywhere yet.”

“Ever,” Philip said with a smile and a kiss to his wife’s temple, “if we have a say in it.”

Margaret huffed out a laugh with that and wiped under her eyes. Daniel hated to see her cry. “Don’t worry, sweetheart. We have a lot of say in it.”

***

“Hi. Maddie, Right?” The man who approached her was younger than she expected. Though, the same had often been said of her. “I’m Will Abram, your brother Evan’s case worker. I’m surprised you managed to get here so fast.”

“It took longer than I expected.” Maddie admitted, following the man back to his office, her hands clenching on the strap of her bag. “My supervisor didn’t want to give me the time off. I ended up having to get the Hospital Director involved.”

“That’s rough.” Will grimaced. “But at least you missed out on all the boring things, right?”

Maddie laughed roughly, “Maybe. That’s one way to look at it. My Uncle said his lawyer had been in touch?”

“Yes. Honestly, he has to be one of the most cooperative lawyers I’ve ever worked with.”

“I think it helps that we’re all working towards the best case for Evan, right?” She smiled tightly. The bubbling discomfort of all this focus on Evan humming under her skin. What was Daniel’s health like?

“Right.” Will said after a small moment, a soft lovely smile brightening his face. “So, you’ve already passed the background check and your lawyer has made available the financial details that make you a viable candidate for guardianship, so most of the details are already out of the way.”

“What’s left?” Maddie asked.

“Your interview.” Will replied. “I need to know about your relationship with your parents and your brothers. Why did they practically run away after they kicked you out?”

Maddie offered a wobbly smile. Of course, all the things she never wanted to think about. “Ask the hard questions, don’t you?”

Will smiled, “it’s my job.”

“Right, well.” Maddie gathered her thoughts. “I remember growing up alone. Not, I think, lonely. I’ve always been something of an introvert and growing up I had a nanny, the other staff in the house, and all the age-appropriate books from the local library I wanted. But even before Daniel was diagnosed with leukemia, I knew we lived very different lives.”

“What do you mean?” Will tapped his pen against the spine of his notebook. “Can you give some examples?”

Maddie took a sip of her water, “I’m only a year older than Daniel, but I remember even before the hospital visits, things were different between us. I can’t describe it very well, except that even before the diagnosis, they had more time for Daniel than they did for me.”

“And the event that resulted in your parents kicking you out?”

“I was already in one of my last years of nursing school, slammed with tests, practicals, and exams, but I’d heard that Daniel had another health scare and I’d wanted to come home and support the family.” Maddie rubbed at a patch of her purse strap where the faux leather was peeling off. “Our parents had always been more distant with me, but Evan was practically ignored.

“He usually acted out for our parents’ attention. Tried eating something he wasn’t supposed to in front of them. Participating in an activity he’d been banned from. Purposely fell off his bike. Stuff like that. But the last time I was home,” Maddie shivered, the vision of him sitting apathetically at the top of the center stairs had lingered in her nightmares for months. Until the first letter came from her mother. It brightened her misery, like turning on a lamp after the sun had started to set. The relief had been real.

“He was like a ghost of himself. He barely ate, only spoke when asked a question, never left his room, and refused to go anywhere with me.” She shook her head. “Nurses are mandatory reporters. It’d been pounded into my head, all the signs of physical and emotional abuse in a child. It horrified me to see it in my brother.”

“What did you do?”

“I tried to convince my parents to ask him what happened. To get him help for whatever had actually happened.” Her mother’s words echoed in her head. Evan… was born to save Daniel. If he can’t do that, then why is he even breathing? “Even knowing you removed Evan from their care, I don’t want to believe that they were the cause. They kicked me out. I left, returning to my apartment in Philadelphia for the exams the next day, and by the time I returned to continue the argument, they were gone.”

“Thank you for sharing that with me.”

Will frowned, shuffled some papers and heaved a big breath. “Okay, so I know what the major trauma that happened around that time was. Normally, it would go against my personal ethics to share this information with you, except that Evan’s developed a severe phobia of hospitals because of it and it’s the key point against the Buckleys keeping any physical custody of Evan while Daniel is still alive.”

Maddie paled. What had her parents done? “What happened?”

“There’s no easy way to say this.” Will grimaced, “but the Senior Buckleys forced Evan to donate his kidney to Daniel against his wishes. They actually ended up drugging him into compliance.”

Maddie swallowed dryly. Her first instinct was to agree. Anything for Daniel. But years of education, training, and experience as a nurse made the thought nauseating. Her experience in the women’s shelter meant she had more than a few ideas of what happened when people didn’t take no for an answer.

“I can’t- I can’t even imagine it.”

“Neither can I, honestly.” Will flipped through his notebook. “It’s actually how the complaint got started. Daniel’s current medical staff became incredibly concerned at the Buckley’s continued insistence that Evan would donate a lung to his brother. Since he clearly did not want to, any action taken to proceed with that plan is against California law.” He wiggled his head a little, “well. It’s an unconventional interpretation of the law, but since the law allows for minors to consent to treatment outside of their guardian’s agreement, then it follows that the reverse is true. A medical procedure against a minor’s consent is illegal.”

“Does that work?”

Will’s eyes flared with determination. “We’re going to make it work. Philip and Margaret Buckley are not going to chop a child open for spare parts, so long as I’m on the case.”

Maddie flinched. “When can I see my brother?”

“Unfortunately, it may be a few days.” Will grimaced. “He was nearly kidnapped off the street the other day and the detectives in charge are still investigating.”

Her heart was racing, and she hadn’t stopped trembling from emotion. She couldn’t take much more of this. “Okay. But he’s safe?”

“Yes. He’s very safe.” Will assured, “and even better, it turns out he’s started making friends. It’s a very good sign of his emotional healing.”

Monday, March 2, 2009

“Hey Rosario.” Athena set the coffee on the clean corner of the desk. “Any news?”

“It is a genuine hot mess, Grant.” Rosario sighed, “But first, tell me about your boy. He seemed pretty confused at the scene.”

“Not as confused as he seemed,” Athena reassured.

“He was talking about people cutting him open, Grant.” Rosario frowned. “Are you telling me that’s a legit worry?”

“You tell me.” She pointed to the crime board. “You didn’t find anything that matched up with that?”

Rosario frowned. “True. But your boy’s okay?”

“He’s going to have to take it easy for a while.” Athena offered. “For all the symptoms, the brain scan came back clear. Some minor bruising and swelling, but they could tell by the scan it was already going down.”

“He seemed pretty disoriented at the scene. Slurred speech, trouble walking straight, and lower inhibitions.” Rosario pointed out. “All signs of a major concussion.”

“Or drugs,” Athena countered. “The medical report will get emailed later today, probably, if you haven’t already gotten it. But toxicology screening came back with a cocktail of a sedative. The doctor on call in the emergency room suggested that it was something that would’ve kept Evan mostly docile and without great control of his body.”

Rosario grimaced. “Sounds like Evan got a lucky break.”

“He’s certainly earned one.” Athena shook her head. “It’s a damn miracle that the boy didn’t decide to take matters into his own hands.”

“You think he could kill his brother?”

“Desperate people can do a lot of things they might never have considered before.” Athena said. “But I think it’s more likely Evan would have taken his own life rather than suffer as his brother’s spare parts bucket again. Tell me about our witness? Mr. Diaz.”

“Edmundo Joseph Diaz. Male, 20 years old, born and raised in Texas.” Rosario reported. “Saw the entire ordeal and was on the phone with 9-1-1 when he rounded the corner and saw the crash. Pulled one kidnapper from the assault near the bus stop, then ran six blocks during the hottest part of the day to follow the car. He managed to get dispatch the make, model, and color of the car, as well as a partial license plate.”

“Recently in the Army, right? That’s what he told me.”

“Yep. Enlisted straight out of high school according to his records, just finished his medic training at Fort Bliss and is visiting family in LA while on leave.”

“What was he doing in the area where the kidnapping happened?”

“Apparently,” Rosario smirked, “his family is all in the area for a reunion and he got so sick of being asked about his plans after the Army that he hopped on the closest bus just to get away.”

“That boy’s career Army unless it kills him.” Athena predicted, “but I know the feeling of deciding on a career family doesn’t agree with. My mother still calls and asks when I’m going to get sick of playing this white man’s game.”

Rosario took a deep breath and exhaled his frustration. “Sometimes the most offensive shit I hear comes from the mouths of my family.”

“They don’t understand it,” Athena suggested, “and I’ve learned that the understanding we’re looking for, it’s not something that can be taught or browbeat into someone. They either get it or they don’t. What’s going on with the kidnappers?”

“Not much.” Rosario admitted. “The would-be kidnappers that set the trap were eventually caught by a patrol in a dive bar on the other side of the city. One of the regulars, little old Grandma Eloise May called it in, said they looked shifty.” Both police officers had to laugh at that. “As to the other two, one of the kidnappers died en route to the hospital. Severe brain hemorrhage.”

Athena was shocked. “What- in the car accident?”

“Yeah,” Rosario fished out pictures from the medical examiner’s report. The spider web fracture of bone in the back of the head could clearly be seen. “It matches pretty much perfectly with the crack in the back driver’s side window of the getaway vehicle. There’s another minor investigation into the LAFD shift that was on scene, but it looks like it’s just the fallout of procedure. The paramedics couldn’t work until the assailants were secure. And then they couldn’t transport until an ambulance returned to the scene. Just bad luck.”

“Or karma.” Athena wasn’t ashamed to point out. “He wouldn’t have been in a place to get so severely hurt if he wasn’t attempting to kidnap a teenager off the street.”

“Point.” Rosario admitted. He flipped the case board to show the kidnappers. “Which leads right back into the hot mess of your foster son’s attempted kidnapping.”

She took in the individual pieces of evidence arranged on the board. “You’re thinking that the Buckleys had their son kidnapped?”

“There’s really no evidence except for motivation.” Rosario said. “The kidnappers were professional criminals. Smooth operators. Everything on them were dead ends. The IDs are fake, the rental was stolen, they’ve refused to say anything—even to ask for a lawyer—and I’m still waiting on the prints.

“But they had a fairly recent picture of Evan. So they were after him specifically. And really the only ones in his life that would have a motivation for that are his parents.”

“Which is disgusting all on its own.” Athena remarked. “Is there any other evidence?”

“All I’ve gotten is some unsubstantiated rumors that the Buckleys had made arrangements to fly out of the country within the next couple of days.” Rosario frowned. “My request for a warrant was declined. There just isn’t enough evidence.”

“Well, fuck.”

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Maddie swirled her tea like the dregs at the bottom of the cup could tell her future. She didn’t know what to do. “Thanks for meeting me for breakfast, Uncle Jasper.”

“Of course, Maddie.” He watched her. She could feel it, even if her eyes were determinedly staring into her tea. The metal patio chair shifted back, “what’s wrong?”

“Besides everything?” Maddie swallowed back her tears. “Will Abram thinks Mom and Dad are monsters. He’s not wrong. What they did to Evan was horrific. But- when did it go wrong? When did Mom and Dad get so awful? When did the situation with Daniel get so dire?”

Jasper sighed as he leaned forward and took her hands in his. “I need you to look at me, Maddie.”

Reluctantly, she tilted her head up. She knew what he was going to say, and she didn’t really want to hear it.

“Maddie, why do you think anything changed?”

She shrugged, “It had to, right? They kicked me out and ran away. Evan was taken from their care. Daniel is dying. I know things were always hard because of his health, but I remember being happy. I remember being loved. When did things change?”

Jasper frowned, hesitated, then finally spoke. “I think if you ask your brother Daniel, he’d say that they’re still the same loving parents he’s always had. If you asked Evan, I think his perspective would be that they’ve never loved him.”

“They’re good people.” Maddie insisted, “just maybe they shouldn’t have been parents.”

“Good people don’t arrange kidnapping attempts on their own children,” Jasper said after a moment. “Good people don’t drug their children for an organ donation they didn’t consent to.”

“Mom and Dad didn’t try to kidnap Evan!” Maddie protested. “The police are still investigating.”

“I hired a PI,” Jasper said bluntly. “Devil Meyers was in town. Your father’s fixer has a horrible reputation, and I wanted to know what he was up to. It was nothing good for sure.”

“You can’t know it was Mom and Dad, though.”

“They had a recent picture of your brother and were career criminals,” her uncle retorted, “the professional kind. Your parents are the only ones who could afford to do something like this and who have a motive.”

“Then why weren’t they arrested?” Maddie clenched her teeth.

“Because the law requires proof,” Jasper sighed. “Not just supposition.”

Maddie wanted to object—her parents couldn’t have done something like that. Good people don’t plan to kidnap their children—except she thought she could remember the man Uncle Jasper called Devil Meyers. He’d attended one of her parents’ Christmas parties when she was little, and even at that age, she’d known to stay away.

A gentleman just a little older than her uncle took a seat at their table, salt and pepper curls brushing against wire-frame glasses.

“It’s a good thing you’re so tall, Jasper.” He said as pulled out a notebook. “It’s a bit crowded here.”

“And you’re practically blind,” Jasper offered with a grin.

The man shrugged and nodded, “and I’m practically blind.”

“Thanks for coming, Fitz. Maddie, this is my senior law advisor, Anthony Fitzgerald. Fitz, this is my niece, Maddie Buckley.”

“Lovely to meet you, Ms. Buckley.” Fitz smiled absently, turning to Jasper. “Are you thinking about moving the business to California? Or is this about the mess your brother has made?”

“Both to a degree.” Jasper easily admitted, “I think there’s a good chance that Evan will feel safer if we stay in California, and the state itself might have an opinion about where he lives. So, I’d like you to look into the options for developing the business in California. However, we definitely need legal help to handle the situation with Evan and his parents.”

Fitzgerald slid a list of names across the table. “I already did some research. These are the best family law attorneys in the area. Now, my preference would be Mark Higgins, but his office is already on retainer for your brother. The next best is also in his firm. Now, you can do what you want, Jasper, but it’s bad business and poor ethics for one firm to represent both parties.”

“Third on the list?”

“Amelia Hart.” Fitzgerald shrugged with a grin. “I like her as an option. She’s well known for her solid work and bad attitude. Not unlike what I’ve heard about Will Abram.”

“Have you spoken with her office?”

“I did inform them we were considering a family suit with legal complications.”

“Hire her.” Jasper finally said, “Give her all the information that we have—the case for abuse, the lack of medical consent, and the kidnapping—perhaps she’ll see something we don’t.”

“Kidnapping?” Fitz quirked an eyebrow. “Are we planning to kidnap Evan?”

“No, someone tried to kidnap Evan. Right off the street. Happened sometime last week.” Maddie swallowed hard. “Uncle Jasper thinks it was Mom and Dad.”

“Are you fucking serious?” Fitzgerald scowled at his employer, “why didn’t I hear about this?”

“I really only found out the details this morning,” Jasper defended himself. “This meeting had already been arranged. You were wrapping up the Klinesfield affair. I wasn’t going to call you here three hours early for a situation that A – had already been handled; and B – that we had no control over.”

Fitz tapped his pen against the glass tabletop. The harsh sound grated at Maddie’s ears like the subject grated at her heart. “I assume since we’re still preparing for a custody case that Philip and Margaret were not arrested.”

“The social worker said the police were still investigating,” Maddie offered.

“The police thought it was pretty straight forward,” Jasper said, “and the PI I hired agreed with them. There’s basically no one else with a motive, but nothing that tied Philip and Margaret to the crime specifically.”

Fitzgerald huffed, threw his pen across the table, and slouched. “Devil Meyers is certainly good at what he does.”

“Yes, he is,” Jasper agreed.

“What happens now?” Maddie found herself asking quietly, “What’s next?”

“We need to know what Evan wants and what the judge overseeing the case will allow before we can do much.” Jasper admitted. “If the judge won’t let Evan leave LA, then there’s no reason to buy a house in Pennsylvania.”

“We should also keep in mind that Evan will probably have a lot of trauma he associates with Pennsylvania.” Fitz pointed out, “he might not want to move back if given an option.”

“And we should protect his options,” Jasper sighed, rubbing his face. “Would you be okay with moving, Maddie? I try to keep up with the details of your life, but we haven’t spoken in a while.”

Maddie considered the shoe box apartment she rented from a scumbag landlord that probably worked part time as a drug dealer. It had a door that locked, a chair she kept just to wedge beneath the doorknob, a leaky sink, a shower that sputtered, and a bed that sagged. Whether or not they stayed in LA, Evan couldn’t live in that shoe box with her.

“I can’t say I would love it.” Maddie finally admitted, “I enjoy my job and what I do. The lives I’ve saved, the people I work with, and the shelter where I volunteer. But I can’t say it would be a hard move, either.”

She continued with a shrug, “I might not even have a job to get back to. The shift manager for my department didn’t want to give me the time off; I had to get the hospital director involved.”

“I can certainly look into that.” Fitz wrote a note to himself, “family emergencies happen. Personal leave exists for a reason.”

“It might be difficult to convince the case worker you should be his guardian if you don’t have a job. So, I’ll stick around too. Make sure he knows that you’ll have support from an established adult.” Jasper sighed, “hopefully he won’t hold my name against me.”

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Evan was bored out of his mind. His attention span was shot. It didn’t matter that the book Michael had suggested would have been riveting at any other time. Or that on just about any other day, the sound of May playing with her dolls probably would have sent him into the little girl’s room for a tea party. No matter how much Michael and Athena laughed at the tiara May insisted on.

But Athena had politely asked him not to go anywhere alone. She hadn’t been able to share it outright, but she’d come home yesterday from the later portion of her swing shift and had immediately hugged him. Just walked right past Michael, prepared with a kiss, and May, asking a question, and right into Evan, wrapped her arms around him and squeezed tight.

He’d never been so tense, couldn’t remember the last time someone had hugged him tightly. Didn’t know what to do with his hands or his arms or if he was supposed to pat her back. His mom always patted Daniel’s back when she hugged him. And left him with a kiss.

But this time it was Athena leaning up on tiptoes to press a kiss to his forehead and Evan had felt nearly gooey and weak-kneed with the unexpected affection.

So it wasn’t a surprise when Athena had taken him aside just before bedtime and asked him not to go anywhere without someone. It was clear she’d received bad news about his case, and because Evan wasn’t actually an idiot—no matter what his parents thought—he figured that could only mean one thing.

The police thought there was a chance of another kidnapping attempt. And the only people in Evan’s life who would be so persistent had to be his parents.

His parents had tried to have him kidnapped. If it hadn’t been for a freak accident and a nosy stranger, they might have succeeded. And that was the kind of shock no one recovered from easily. So Evan gave himself some grace on his attention span.

Athena knocked on the open door, and Evan gave her the attention his book couldn’t hold. She had the house phone in hand. “Eddie Diaz is on the phone.”

He blinked, “you gave him the number?”

“You were really out of it the last time he saw you, baby.” Athena offered the phone, “he asked for an update. I didn’t think you’d mind.”

Evan shook his head. He didn’t mind. “Eddie?”

“Hey, Evan! You sound so much better.”

There was something about Eddie Diaz that was comforting even over the phone. He just made Evan feel safe in a way not even Athena could. Which probably had something to do with the fact that Evan already had proof Eddie wouldn’t just stand by and let something awful happen. Running six blocks in LA heat was not for the easily daunted.

“Yeah. Not a concussion, just ah- a bad trip? At some point during that hot mess, someone got me with a needle.”

“That… sounds awful.”

“Yeah, but you didn’t call to hear me complain about hospitals and assholes with sedatives.” Evan tried to laugh, but it just fell flat and he cringed a little at the sigh from the other end of the line.

“Ev, I don’t care. Yes, I had plans to ask you something, but if you need to vent to someone about asshole thugs, then shit man, let’s go get ice cream and find a corner where no one will complain if we start plotting murder.”

The sound that came out of Evan’s mouth was one part sob and one part laugh. He found that he did want to tell Eddie about what was going on. He did want to complain about his parents and maybe plot some fictional murder, but he also wanted to know if Eddie gave hugs. Would they be as tight and long as Athena’s? Would they be better?

Was this what having a friend was like? Evan hadn’t ever really had one of those. Just kids at school who didn’t mind chatting with the loser with more absences than attendances.

“What were you going to ask?”

The line was silent for a moment. “Well, my family is having something like a reunion and cookout at one of the local parks. A couple of my cousins are inviting friends, so I was wondering if you would like to join us?”

“Um,” Evan didn’t know if that was a good idea. “I’d have to ask Athena.”

Eddie paused. “Do you want me to wait on the line? Or are you looking for an excuse to say no?”

Evan hesitated. “I’m still a kidnapping risk. And well, people are intimidating.”

“Well, we can talk to Sergeant Grant about whether she thinks the risk is acceptable, and if not, I could come over with leftovers and a movie later.”

“And if she thinks it’s okay? People are… hard.” Evan finally admitted, “I don’t- I don’t know how to talk to most of them, except kids. And most adults can’t be trusted. They just see a problem and complain instead of doing anything about it, and I’m not very comfortable in crowds.”

“I would like you to meet my grandparents,” Eddie said finally. “They live in the area and I just know that they would love you. But if you don’t feel safe, then we don’t have to.”

Evan bit his lip, uncertain what to do. “Let me talk to Athena. I’ll call you back in like half an hour?”

“Sounds good.”

Athena was in the kitchen wrapping a panini in foil and closing the lid on a mixed greens salad to drop in her lunch bag. “How was your call?”

“Eddie wants to take me to his family reunion!” Evan blurted, reciting the rough address Eddie had provided. “It’s a BBQ.”

Athena hummed lightly and turned to consider him. “I’d be okay with that. Better than okay because you wouldn’t be home alone.”

“You don’t think it’s a risk?” He still wasn’t sure if he wanted to go. Change was scary.

“Hmm, if you’re asking if I think Eddie Diaz is going to kidnap you for your parents, no.” She smirked, “maybe to keep an eye on you, for your own good, but I’m thinking if you told him the whole story he’d get right in line to punch your parents’ lights out. As for the risk of someone else trying to kidnap you, I don’t think it’s high. The park you mentioned is out of your routine, very popular, and fairly well lit with lights and cameras. I think you would be plenty safe with Eddie.” She gave him another look, “if you want to go.”

“I want to spend time with Eddie.” He took a deep breath. Eddie wouldn’t let him fend for himself, but- “I don’t do so well with people.”

“People can definitely be overwhelming.” Athena agreed. “So, what can you do if you get overwhelmed?”

After creating a plan of attack, Athena left him with the house phone and a kiss on the cheek. “Hi Eddie. Yeah, you can still pick me up, right?”

***

Eddie bounced to the top of the stairs, where Evan and Athena waited with a big grin. “I told you I was up for Evan-sitting!”

Athena grinned, “And here you are, even open to taking him back to yours and feeding him.”

Evan sputtered, “I do not need babysitting!”

Both of them turned to Evan with skeptical expressions. Eddie shrugged. “It seems like you get into trouble a lot.”

“That’s not my fault!” Evan bit his lip. “I promise I don’t go looking for it.”

Athena’s grin gentled to a soft smile as she hugged him. “We know, Evan. It was just a joke. Not even really at your expense.”

Eddie pulled him into a side hug and offered, “I told Athena I was up for asshole hunting, but she assured me if she needed my help for anything, it would probably be babysitting.”

Evan rolled his eyes and let it go. “You’re both assholes.”

Eddie and Athena giggled as Evan stomped up to the truck and when his friend didn’t follow fast enough, he laid on the horn.

Sergeant Grant offered him a smile. “You’ll take care of my boy?”

“Always,” Eddie promised.

There was something special about Evan. From the first moment Eddie had jogged up to that bus stop, there had been something connecting them. Like a red string of fate, their futures were tied together if they could just embrace it. Eddie didn’t quite know what it meant, but he understood the importance of it.

Evan didn’t have many people he could rely on, but Eddie was determined to change that. Abuelo had never backed down from a fight in his life, and Tia Pepa would probably take one look at Evan and see that he needed someone on his side. Eddie couldn’t trust his parents to see what he saw, but hopefully, the party would keep them separated by a good distance.

Evan laid on the horn again and Eddie shook his head, “I’m being summoned.”

“So you are,” Athena laughed, “Evan doesn’t have a curfew, but if you could keep me up to date on where you are; my nerves would thank you for it.”

“Sure, Athena. We can do that.”

***

The park was beautiful and Evan could see why Eddie’s family had chosen to have their reunion there. For all the hectic crazy of people everywhere, there was a happy kind of energy within the group that Evan could feel even sitting in the truck.

“Hey, before you get out,“ Eddie frowned, “I was hoping the police might have found out something about those assholes who tried to kidnap you.”

“I haven’t been told anything.” Evan bit his lip, “but it looks like it might have been my parents.”

“Right, you mentioned something about foster care.” Eddie hesitated. “Athena is great, though.”

Evan snorted, “they’re the best. I really landed well with them, but could you imagine someone thinking they were my parents?”

“Hey, man. Adoption is a thing, and so are recessive genes. Nobody should make those kinds of assumptions anymore.”

Evan admitted it probably wasn’t as far-fetched as it might have been fifty years ago, and while the Buckleys were as white bread as anyone could imagine, he didn’t know much about Eddie’s family.

“It was special circumstances and an emergency warrant for custody signed by a family court judge on a weekend.” Evan’s smile faded. He avoided looking at his friend. “My parents aren’t nice. The- ah, the Grants are the safest I’ve felt in a long time.”

“Then I’m glad you have them.” Eddie climbed out of the truck and tugged him towards the picnic table with the banner. “Let me introduce you to a bunch of other awesome people.”

“Edmundo!” One of the women shouted as they approached, “What delicious treat did you bring to share?”

There were gasps and laughter in the background as the older woman holding court with a paper crown turned and smacked her daughter’s shoulder, “Pepa! Don’t go scaring the poor boy off too early!”

Pepa cackled.

“Edmundo?” Evan mocked, as he attempted to ignore the salacious older woman.

“I was named after my Abuelo.” His friend shrugged, “it’s not a bad name, just old fashioned.”

Evan shrugged. “At least no one’s going to get you mixed up with the other Edwards.”

Eddie laughed as he agreed. “Abuela, Abuelo, and Tia Pepa, this is my friend, Evan.”

The older Diazes smiled, but Tia Pepa frowned and poked at the boy across the table. “You need feeding.”

“Tia Pepa,” Eddie groaned, taking a seat. “Not everyone needs feeding.”

Abuela gave a horrified gasp, “How could you say that nieto?! What blasphemy has your mother taught you?”

“Everyone always needs feeding.” Abuelo said with a solemn smile, “It’s the only way we know how to show affection.”

“I promised lunch,” Eddie pointed out with a laugh as he nudged Evan up. “Food looks like it’s been set up over by the grills.”

“Be sure to come back with your meals, chicos!” Abuela demanded. “I want to learn more about your friend, Eddito!”

“That feels like a threat,” Evan admitted in a quiet whisper as he followed Eddie and the smell of grilling meat.

“Maybe.” Eddie agreed, “but just a small one.”

“Edmundo Diaz!” A sharp voice cracked out. Evan turned to see a woman in heels stalk towards his friend with a scowl. “Where have you been? This is your grandmother’s birthday party!”

“I went to pick up a friend,” Eddie replied with a stiff smile. “Abuela said it was fine. The more the merrier.”

“You don’t have any friends.” The woman scoffed, “And certainly none in LA!”

Eddie turned to him, lips turned down at the corners. “Evan, this is my mom, Helena Diaz. Mom, this is Evan. We met earlier in the week.”

Evan knew that expression and it hadn’t ever been to his benefit, but he resisted the urge to run away. Running had never helped either. “Ma’am.”

Helena didn’t say anything, just turned back to her son and scowled. “You met once and decided he’d been a great addition to a family event?”

“We’ve talked some on the phone.”

“He’s a child, Edmundo. What could you practically have in common?”

“Well, I don’t know. But I know I want to get to know him more.”

“You joined the Army, Edmundo!” Helena hissed. “How exactly do you think you’re going to manage to keep a friend from across the world?”

“The same way everyone else has long-distance relationships,” Tia Pepa said dryly, coming around the corner. “Here Evanito, have a cookie.”

Eddie snorted, and Evan couldn’t help blushing.

“Now, Helena, we had a talk just this morning about how you weren’t going to make a scene at Abuela’s birthday party.”

“He’s my son.” Helena hissed. “I’ll talk to him however I want.”

“Not at Abuela’s birthday party.”

Eddie tugged Evan to follow as they quietly slipped through the crowds of Diazes and out of Helena’s line of sight. Evan released a heavy breath.

“Sorry about that.” Eddie frowned, settling on the swing seat the younger kids had abandoned. “I was hoping with all the family we’d be able to avoid both my parents.”

“Well, it could have been worse.” Evan shrugged. “It could have been my parents. Then the police would have to be called.”

Eddie stared for a moment before a laugh burst from behind his lips, taking his stress with it. Evan smirked as he slowly relaxed at the sound of his friend’s laughter. “It didn’t matter, Eddie.”

“What do you mean?”

“Meeting your mom was stressful, sure. But you were there, so I was safe.”

Eddie was quiet. “Thanks for trusting me, Ev.”

“Always.” Evan delicately bit into the truly delicious piece of chicken, he didn’t think he’d ever had it fried, before commenting. “You know, we both already have one thing in common.”

“Yeah?”

Evan hummed, “yeah. We both have assholes for parents.”

Eddie stared at him for a moment before snorting. “That’s next-level, Evan. I don’t think my parents would ever arrange for my kidnapping.”

“I don’t know, Eddie. Your mom seems really intense. I could see her hiring someone to drag you home just to berate you some more.”

Eddie nodded. “Granted. But let’s talk about something else. Which do you prefer, apple or cherry pie?”

Evan frowned thoughtfully. “I don’t think I’ve ever had pie.”

“Oh, that is just not on, Ev.”

***

“You are certain that you’ll be fine?” Abuela frowned at Evan and Eddie had to bite back laughter. “Eddie would be happy to bring you home later.”

“No, thank you, Mrs. Diaz.” Evan smiled shyly. Ducking his head, and just missed hitting it on the stack of tupperware in his arms. “Michael was just around the corner and Athena would feel better if I went home with him.”

“I told you Abuela is fine, Evanito.” She shook her head. “An argument for another day. But if you are certain you would like to go, then I will not keep you. No need to worry your Mama.”

Evan nodded. “Athena’s great. I’d hate to be more of a burden.”

Eddie frowned, ready to step forward, but Abuela got there first.

“Not a burden.” She shook her head. “Children are never burdens.” She gave a side eye to the chaotic mass of people and screaming that was the extended Diaz family and shrugged. “Even when they are loud and angry and yelling. Never a burden. I think your Mama Athena would agree, hmm? Or did she not open her home to a stranger?”

Evan just shrugged. A familiar car was pulling up to the curb, so Eddie stepped forward to greet Michael while Abuela took Evan’s face in her hands to kiss him.

“You remember where we are.” Abuela said sternly, “only to the end of the block and a left turn. Our house is number 315. You come by whenever, Evanito! No matter what.”

“Bye, A-abuela.”

“Text me, tomorrow.” Eddie said as he helped slide the tupperware in and then hugged his friend. Evan stiffened, but relaxed after just a moment. Eddie made a mental note to give him all the hugs he could fit into the rest of his leave. “If you’re sad or scared or lonely. Even if you’re just bored,” he whispered into Evan’s hair. “You don’t have to be alone.”

Evan nodded and with one last tight squeeze, Eddie stepped back so that Mr. Grant could turn the car back towards traffic. He could still see his friend’s mop of curly blond hair and the ache of missing him was already settling in. He took a deep breath and resisted the urge to rub at his chest. The thread that connected them pulled tight.

“I like him.” Abuela said, threading her arm through his. “He’s a good boy, but hurt.”

“Yes. Very hurt.” Eddie frowned as he led his grandmother back to the bench she’d made her throne.

“Do you know his story?” she asked quietly.

“Some of it,” Eddie admitted. “I know he was in danger from his own parents. He was placed at the Grants because of special circumstances, and that his parents have the money to have him kidnapped by professional criminals.”

Abuela frowned, “that does not sound good.”

“Not good at all.” Abuelo considered the issue. “It cannot be good that his parents tried to kidnap him from custody.”

“Unusual,” Eddie admitted, “but not outside the realm of domestic violence. We all know of at least one story Tia Pepa has told over the years of working at the women’s shelter. Sometimes assholes come after them.”

“It feels different,” Tia Pepa admitted as she slid into a spot across from her parents. “We’re talking about Evan, yes?”

“Yeah.”

Pepa nodded. “He doesn’t have the signs of long-term physical abuse. Not like what I see at the shelter.”

Eddie frowned. “He flinches from touch.”

“But not from sudden movement.” Pepa bit her lip. “He was far more fragile after dealing with your mother than after meeting Papa. If it were a classic case of domestic violence, Papa would have been more scary than Helena.”

“Special circumstances.” Abuela hummed, “It does no good to speculate. Evanito will tell us when he can.”

Abuelo picked at the sunflower seeds on his plate, “It is good that you brought him around and introduced him. When you are away, we will be able to check up on him.”

“And feed him.” Abuela scowled, “The boy was skinny as a stick. And had never had pie! It’s practically criminal.”

Eddie shared a look with his aunt and refrained from sharing his thought that it might have literally been criminal. After all, if food could be a hope, then it could be a tool and a torture as well. “I’ll tell him that he’s welcome to stop by.”

“Hmm.” Abuelo considered it, “make sure he has our numbers too, and that we have his. The foster system tries, but there are a lot of ways to fall through the cracks in a city like LA.”

“Athena Grant is a cop, Abuelo,” Eddie frowned.

“But you can be a good cop and a bad person, a bad cop and a good person, or any combination therein.” Pepa said calmly, even as she shredded the pastry on her plate. “It is good to be optimistic. No one needs to be judged as something they aren’t.”

“But it is good to be cautious, too.” Abuelo pointed out, literally, with a watermelon rind.

Eddie sighed, “fine. I’ll make sure you have everything you need before my leave is up.”

“It’s just in case, Eddie.” Abuela kissed his head as she passed on her way to more cake. “Hopefully, we won’t ever need it at all.”

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Athena considered the crowded hospital lounge as Detective Rosario settled with his notebook across the table from the Buckleys. Technically, she shouldn’t have been invited. But Rosario had been hoping that Athena’s presence, and the knowledge that she was Evan’s foster mother, would rattle something loose that his questions alone might not.

She couldn’t say anything about his methods yet, but Athena had already made an interesting observation. She wasn’t the only one in the room just to observe.

Hiding in the corner by the door, like the shadows were deep enough to loom from, was Getterick Meyers. Athena didn’t think she had ever run into one of his ‘fixes’, but he was well known across the country for his less than legal methods. Hollywood had its share of secrets and corpses in the closet, but most were covered up with the application of money or threats to careers, not fists.

Will Abram had said that the complaints from Hershey were odd. The file existed. The content, as far as he could tell, had not been amended. But the follow through had vanished like so much smoke. The Director of the local Department of Child and Family Services had received a large monetary gift and stepped down from the position suddenly. The person who replaced them had never reopened Evan’s case.

There was no guess as to who might have arranged that anymore.

“What’s this about?” The lawyer, who was an interesting specimen herself, asked as the Detective stalled. “Neither my clients nor I have all day, Detective Rosario.”

Ariabella Gately was a defense attorney from the same firm as the family court lawyer the Buckleys had hired to represent them in their attempts to get Evan back. Not a surprise.

She was someone that Athena had dealt with on the witness stand at court. Gately had a habit of working harder to discredit the witnesses than actually proving her client innocent.

“There was a recent kidnapping attempt on your son Evan,” Rosario began instead. Ignoring Gately to his own peril.

“You can’t think we had anything to do with it.” Margaret Buckley protested, “We’ve been right here in the hospital the entire time we’ve been in California! I don’t think we’ve even left the grounds since arriving.”

“I canceled our stay at the SeaSide Key.” Philip Buckley shrugged, “there’s a recliner in Daniel’s room and a daybed in the antechamber of his suite. We’d much rather stay with Daniel than waste time without him.”

“The- the doctors say he doesn’t have much longer.” Margaret swallowed thickly. “What could I possibly do with bath jets and inclusive massage packages if even a minute away means I could miss Daniel’s last moments?”

It was odd, Athena decided as she watched the stern and forbidding woman struggle with tears, to see how extreme the difference in emotion was between how Margaret felt about Evan and how she felt about Daniel. Margaret Buckley had supposedly just found out that her son had suffered an attempted kidnapping and cared only to protest that she obviously couldn’t have been involved.

“Understandable.” Detective Rosario nodded and pulled out the financial information they’d dug up. The highlighted portions were damning. “But then, you are people of means, Mrs. Buckley. You don’t need to leave your son to get things in order.”

The first sheet marked out an interesting payment of twenty thousand dollars, earmarked for ‘Meyers’. The second sheet included the scheduling for a private ambulance, a private nurse with experience in oncology, and the rental of private plane and runway space. Adjacent was a flight plan for a trip from LA to the Philippines.

“It didn’t take much effort after this to find out that there’s a clinic in Manila that has an excellent reputation for organ transplant and a policy of asking no questions.”

Gately scowled, “this is circumstantial, at best. It would never stand up to a court of law.”

“A little better than circumstantial.” Rosario said, waking his phone to show the picture of Evan from the evidence. “After all, there aren’t too many ways the would-be kidnappers could have gotten a hold of this picture.”

Margaret sneered and over the admonishments of her lawyer said, “why would anyone want that brat? You think we did it? Why would we kidnap someone we wouldn’t piss on if they were on fire?”

“Because you have the only motive, and you have the best motive.” Rosario leaned closer. “After all, you said it yourself. You don’t want to miss a moment of Daniel’s life. And the best way to give Daniel more time is to have custody of Evan. Why else would you spend so much money and effort in family court on a brat you hate?”

Margaret opened her mouth, but Philip’s hand was on her shoulder and Gately was already speaking.

“Don’t say anything more.” The lawyer scowled. “He’s baiting you. Because if Rosario really had as much evidence as he claims, he’d have just arrested you and questioned you at the station.”

She stood and straightened her jacket. “Mr. And Mrs. Buckley, you can return to your son. Detective Rosario,” she paused as the couple and their incredibly immoral fixer left the room to regroup. “I’ll be calling your boss. Don’t think I won’t.”

Rosario smirked and leaned back in his seat. “I’ll tell him to be waiting.”

The door shut, and Athena let out a deep breath. “We have no evidence.”

Detective Rosario nodded. “Perhaps.”

“Perhaps.” Athena frowned, “what do you mean?”

“I mean that while it would be great to get Margaret and Philip Buckley, or even Getterick Meyers, we don’t need them in jail. We just need them to leave Evan alone. Preferably forever.”

Athena considered that, “Will Abram told me that Daniel’s prognosis is death within weeks, if not days.”

“They don’t expect him to survive the end of the month,” Rosario agreed. “The DA doesn’t think there’s enough evidence to make a criminal case against the Buckleys. But she did suggest that it might be enough for the family court judge.”

“Do you know who it is?”

“Constance Jaeger. Abram said she was following Evan’s situation intently.”

“Well,” Athena huffed, “that’s something at least.”

Friday, March 6, 2009

Will Abram met them in the lobby. He greeted Jasper with a handshake and a solemn nod and then observed Maddie with a frown for just a moment. “Do you remember when you told me that your parents threw you out because you were concerned about Evan’s behavior?”

“Yes,” Maddie clutched at her handbag. She wanted to see her brother, to look at him and know that he was all in one piece. But she dragged her attention back to the social worker.

“That’s not trauma that goes away,” Will pointed out. “The whole situation with your parents and Daniel is complicated and fraught with trauma. Part of being a good guardian for Evan will include making sure that he continues his therapy. Things might get worse before they get better.”

“They’ll both have all the support I can offer,” Uncle Jasper reassured.

“And when you return to Pennsylvania?” Will raised a skeptical brow. “How well can you support them from across the country?”

“Families do it all the time,” Jasper pointed out. “Cell phones, email, and plane tickets are resources we have.”

“Mr. Buckley—“

“But,” her uncle interrupted, “I can understand your concerns. I’ve already started discussions with a number of people about expanding the company into California. Family, Mr. Abrams, comes first.”

“I’m happy to hear that.” The social worker turned. “And you, Ms. Buckley?”

Maddie swallowed. “I just want to see my brother.”

Will nodded slowly. “Just remember that Evan’s been through a lot and that he might not trust you right away.”

“He’s worth earning it.” Jasper said over her shoulder. Maddie didn’t have the words to reply, instead she gave her strongest nod and the social worker through the warren of halls and rooms that made up the local Department of Family and Children’s Services.

The conference room door opened and, oh, it was Evan. He was bigger and his hair was lighter. His eyes were a little darker and the definition of his jaw could practically cut, but it was definitely her brother.

Her brother standing on the other side of the conference table trembling ever so slightly. She swallowed and cleared her throat.

“Evan.” She blinked back tears. She’d had something memorized. Something calm and safe and hopefully reassuring, but it was all gone. “You’re alive.”

“Yeah,” he nodded, his attention, Maddie noted, not on her. “You- you look really familiar, sir.”

“I’m your uncle.” Jasper said as he moved around the table slowly and offered his hand. “We both take after your paternal grandmother’s side of the family. Tall, strong, and blond, your Nana would have said.”

Evan shook Jasper’s hand, but his attention was stuck on their shared features. Features that Philip Buckley did not share. His shoulders relaxed, and a smile curled the edges of his mouth. “You think I could grow that tall?”

“You’re already mostly there!” Jasper laughed.

And Maddie was startled to see that it was true. Evan was only inches away from their uncle’s six feet and one inch height. The weight of those missing years was heavy on her. Evan wasn’t the same, but what about Daniel? How had Daniel changed in the last few years?

“How about we all take a seat and get started?” Abrams was saying and suddenly Maddie couldn’t contain it anymore.

All the fear, stress, and anxiety had to come out somehow. And it came out in a sob as Maddie reached out to drag Evan into her arms. He stood stiffly. He didn’t appear to know what to do, but Maddie could barely see through her tears. “I’m so glad you’re okay.”

A second set of hands—Uncle Jasper’s, she thought—guided her and Evan both to a seat at the table and dropped a box of tissues in her lap.

“I need you to take a deep breath, Maddie,” Will said. “I know that the situation is awful, but I need you to try to calm down.”

“Sorry, sorry.” She blew her nose, twice, and wiped at the rivers of water that ran down her face. Happy that her mascara was waterproof. No one thought a raccoon was attractive. She looked up to immediately see the absurd wet patch on Evan’s shoulder. “Oh. That can’t be comfortable.”

“It’s-it’s okay.” Evan ducked his head, hiding the bloom of a slow, quiet little smile. She caught his hands twisting together in his lap and just casually offered him her hands instead. “It’s nice. Really, nice. To know you missed me so much.”

“Nice enough to want to live with Maddie?” Will asked for his place, making up the third seat in their odd little triangle. “She’s cleared the background check and has provided ample character references and has proved steady finances. The State of California believes that she would be a suitable guardian for you.” Will shrugged, “but you’re in this odd sort of grey area, Evan. If you don’t feel comfortable staying with Maddie, then the Grants have agreed to let you stay with them while we figure something out.”

“Or, if you feel comfortable with it, I would be happy to take you in, Evan.” Jasper offered.

Evan blinked. His gaze went from Maddie to Jasper and back again. He bit his lip. “I don’t want to go back. I don’t ever want to go back.”

Maddie bit her lip, “back to Penn?”

Evan nodded, swallowing several times. “I don’t think I’d survive it.”

She heard Jasper sigh softly behind her. He’d warned her that Evan might not want to go back. Maddie still wasn’t thrilled with moving, but taking care of her brothers had always been her priority. Even during the years Maddie had let the dark smother her.

Maddie shot a look at the social worker, but Will Abram was watching Evan with a sad, unsurprised expression.

It had always been either/or in her head. Either he was alive and well, if enduring an abusive situation, or he was dead. Cold, alone, buried, and then forgotten. Maddie should have realized that it wasn’t like that at all.

The women’s shelter she’d worked with had shown her that it was more than possible to die a thousand deaths while your heart still beat.

Maddie took a deep breath. Both her brothers were still alive. Whatever traumas Evan had endured, he hadn’t given up yet. “I wouldn’t mind never having to slog through snow again. Do you have an idea of where you would like to go?”

“I- I like it here.” Evan said in a whisper, gaze dropped to their hands. “I like being by the water. And,”

“And?” Jasper encouraged quietly.

“The Grants and the Diazes are here.” Evan frowned. “I think they would help if Mom and Dad ever tried again.” He shook his head. “I know they would help.”

She bit back her objection that their parents would never hurt them. As far as her uncle and DCFS were concerned, her parents had hurt her and Evan, at the very least. And maybe, according to Evan, their parents had never stopped hurting him.

“Okay,” Maddie agreed. Not a reservation or a hint of disagreement on her face as she pulled out her phone. “Sounds like I need to do some house hunting.”

Evan frowned at her, “just like that?”

“Just like that.” She considered her brother and offered, “I’m sure there’s paperwork and complications about enrolling you in school and getting your records from Pennsylvania. And living together will be an adjustment.” Maddie floundered for an example that didn’t include their differing opinions on their parents. “I haven’t lived with anyone since I moved out of Hershey. I don’t know- I might have made a habit of walking around the house in my underwear. And you,” she considers her brother again, “you’re still a teenager, growing like all teenagers. I bet your stomach resembles a bottomless pit more than an organ.”

Evan smiled shyly. “Athena got me In-N-Out the other day. It was really greasy.”

Maddie swallowed the panic in her chest that Evan wasn’t allowed to eat fast food. He needed to take care of his body for Daniel.

The presence of the two men sitting on her either side suddenly loomed. She had to be careful of what she said, and she already hated it.

“It’s a good start.” Will Abram interrupted before she could spiral anymore. “The paperwork will be handled quickly with Mr. Fitzgerald’s help, but I won’t be able to release Evan into your care, Maddie, until you have a permanent residence with a bed for him.”

“We’ll do that first thing.” Jasper hummed, Blackberry in hand. He was probably already messaging his assistant to hire a real estate agent.

“I understand.” Maddie nodded with fake calm, letting go of her brother’s hands. “That will give Evan and I time to get to know each other. And I can meet the Grants.”

Evan ducked his head before offering her a shy smile. “And you can meet Eddie.”

Maddie grinned tightly. “I can’t wait.”

Saturday, March 7, 2009

The realtor was giving some sort of talk about the benefit of floor to ceiling windows letting great light, and Uncle Jasper questioned that this was a one bedroom loft when they’d clearly asked about two bedrooms, but Maddie was typing the address into apartments.com.

She hated this. She hated all of it. Maybe her apartment in Philadelphia had been horrible and gross. Maybe it hadn’t been safe. But at least picking it hadn’t contained all this stress.

“Excuse me,” Maddie interrupted, tapping her nails against the hard plastic of her phone case. “But let’s cut right to the chase. This apartment is well outside the budget I requested you stay within.”

The realtor frowned. “I’m sorry, Ms. Buckley, but the amenities that you were looking for just aren’t going to come with the original price point.”

“And you thought it was a good idea to show me apartments out of my price range?” Maddie shook her head. “Not even apartments that meet the minimum of two bedrooms.”

“This is just the show model.” The other woman snapped, “there’s a two bedroom apartment coming up for lease in a couple of months.”

A couple of months? Maddie opened her mouth to snap back. She needed an apartment now, not in two or three months. Will Abram was not going to let her take custody of Evan without a place for him to stay. He’s already said it.

“Thank you for explaining, Ms. Croix.” Her uncle offered a charming smile. “If you’ll give me a moment to speak with my niece, we’ll get this misunderstanding cleared up.”

The realtor, Ms. Croix, apparently, huffed and walked toward the kitchen. Muttering something, but her uncle knew her well. He snagged Maddie’s elbow as she turned to snap back, leading her out to the balcony.

“Maddie, what’s wrong?”

“You mean besides the whole price point issue?” Maddie snarled, “that’s bad enough on its own!”

“It’s not great,” Jasper acknowledged, “but I actually spoke to her about widening the search because I was going to supplement your income from the Trust. I didn’t explain that to you before we began, and that’s my fault, but this is more than just the issue with the price tag.”

Maddie gaped. “You don’t have to do that, Uncle Jasper.”

“I don’t know what Philip and Margaret told you, Maddie.” Jasper frowned. “But that trust has provisions for every member of the family, including you and Evan. It’s not just for the use of Margaret and Philip. And honestly, you’re probably going to need the help if Evan wants to stay in LA.”

He pulled her into a warm embrace, something Maddie hadn’t had in years—probably since the last time he’d offered her one. “Now, what’s wrong?”

“Besides everything?” Maddie slumped against her uncle. “Evan is a mess. Somehow DFCS has decided I’m a suitable candidate for guardian, and I’ve been in LA a week and I still haven’t seen Daniel. I need a home for Evan’s residency, but it needs to be in a good school zone, not too far from the ocean, and at the right price. Abram said that he’s probably going to need specialty tutoring to graduate with his class. I don’t know if that’s something Evan’s worried about, but it’s something I’m worried about. And it’s just all so big. And all of this is a bigger priority than finding a job. It just doesn’t make sense. What if I pick a place that’s far from work?”

“Fortunately,” Uncle Jasper rubbed lightly at her back, “as a Buckley, you’re wealthy enough that the cost of extra gas and miles isn’t going to break the bank. Honestly, Maddie, if you wanted to live off the income of the Trust, you could. I just assumed—“

“Oh, God no.” Maddie wiped at the tears that had leaked from her eyes. “I’d lose my mind in short order.”

Jasper smirked. “I thought so.”

“It just—“ she sighed, “seems so wrong to find a place to live before a place to work. Or, I don’t know, Evan’s new school.”

“Why haven’t you said something?”

“It’s not like it’s going to change anything.” Maddie sniffed. “Evan needs this, so I’m just going to have to get used to it.”

“Maddie,” Jasper turned her back to him, “I love you. You will always have my love and support. You’re not going to have to do any of this alone.” He took a deep breath, “but if you resent Evan for the changes in your life, resent him for the change you see in your parents, then we need to work something else out.”

Maddie hated him at that moment. Jasper Buckley had never done anything but support her at every decision she made in the last three years, but he’d never, ever stopped questioning her belief and love in her parents. She hated it.

She tugged away from his touch and stared out at the LA skyline. The realtor had been right about the view. “Why weren’t you a better option for Evan? You offered. You talked about expanding the business into California to stay close. You have everything they’d want for a new guardian. Why did they pick me?”

“I may not look a lot like my brother to you, Maddie, and Evan seemed okay. He didn’t hesitate anymore with me than he did with you. But I’m still a strange adult with ties to the family that hurt him.” Jasper sighed. “I would, of course, take him in if there were no other options. And I will do my best, no matter how his custody is resolved, to earn his trust and build a relationship.”

“It’s just so big.” Maddie admitted, “taking care of Evan, giving him the best foundation, dealing with what Mom and Dad did. I’m just putting one foot in front of the other. One minute I’m doing fine and the next it hits me again, how big this is.”

“And there’s a part of you that still can’t imagine that what he went through is that bad. A part of you that still believes if you can just explain it to your parents the right way, they’ll understand and apologize. Maybe there’s even a part of you that thinks you can convince Evan to continue helping Daniel.”

Maddie shuddered at the chill in her uncle’s words. His tone was cold and his presence was foreboding. He leaned forward to tug her back into his space.

“I need you to listen to me, Maddie. Even if you somehow found the words to give your parents a conscience, even if they learned and apologized, an apology is not going to fix the damage they’ve done to Evan over the years.” His smile had faded, and his eyes were more storm grey than clear sky-blue. “Are you going to be able to do that, Maddie? Can you support Evan, maybe even support his decision to never see your parents again?”

A sob burst from her lips. “I love my brothers.”

“I know you do. But Evan deserves to be protected. It won’t be easy. But it will be worth doing.”

***

Part Four: Sunday, March 8, 2009

Daniel wheezed and Margaret Buckley considered that it must be a crime, how much time she’s spent watching her son die by inches in the hospital. He’d been a sweet baby boy. So happy and content just to be held. What had happened? Where did she go wrong?

Maddie was healthy as a child. She still was as far as Margaret knew. Jasper had reached out to them through the family trust a few years ago. He’d tried to entice them to get back in touch for their daughter’s sake. Like the letters she’d sent were nothing. No, Margaret knew her brother-in-law.

Jasper Buckley hadn’t approved of their decision to create Evan. He’d never said anything outright, but Margaret could hear it in his voice. It was in the odd way he’d emphasized questions about Evan. In the way Daniel’s gift was never any better than Maddie’s or Evan’s.

He’d gone to court once, when the children were young, over their treatment of Evan. The Philadelphia judge had sided with them, of course. Philip had paid a hefty bribe to be certain. But the blackmail she’d held on his wife, Rose, hadn’t been enough to even startle him in mediation. He’d been determined that they were making the wrong choice.

And, well, Margaret couldn’t let that go. Making certain Daniel lived was everything.

“You said you were taking care of it.” Philip hissed at their fixer in the corner of the room.

She could hear the scowl in Meyer’s voice. “It wasn’t possible. I’ve got some people tracking Evan down, but it’s going to take a couple of days.”

“Daniel might not have a couple of days.” Margaret said, her gaze never leaving her beautiful baby boy. “The doctors have only just gotten the alternative treatment arranged and they’re convinced he’s at death’s door.”

“He’s going to have to find more days,” Meyers snapped.

“Don’t talk to my wife like that,” Philip snapped. “What’s so complicated about kidnapping Evan?”

“His foster family, for one.” Meyers said, after chewing his toothpick for a moment. “Athena Grant is a well-respected police officer, for all that she’s a black woman. And Evan spends a lot of time with her or his new friend Diaz.”

“Evan doesn’t have friends.” Margaret turned to the men in the corner. “Who the hell is Diaz?”

“Edmundo Joseph Diaz II.” Meyer’s toothpick snapped, “He’s a pain in the ass. By all accounts, he was a random bystander at the bus stop when my men tried to pick up Evan. He ran six blocks in LA heat with 9-1-1 on the phone. After he’d already done some damage to a couple of the men.”

“He’s dangerous to our plans,” Philip huffed.

“Sure. But a lot of people are.” Meyers unwrapped a new toothpick. “We can’t exactly kill all of them.”

“So, what’s the new plan?” There had to be a new plan.

“I’ve got a few discrete eyes on Evan during the day.” Meyers paused, “according to my sources in DCFS, your daughter Maddie was contacted to take Evan’s custody. Best chance of taking Evan would be after custody transfers to her.”

Maddie. Margaret bit back foul language. Her own daughter was working against her. A sister working against the survival of her brother. How could she?

No. It makes more sense than Margaret wanted to admit. Wasn’t her split from the family Evan’s fault to begin with? Hadn’t everything gone down the way it had because of Evan’s disgusting need to be the center of attention? He’d gotten to Maddie somehow, told her some radical lie that sent her fighting with her own parents.

It makes sense that she’d come back to take custody of Evan. She didn’t know any better. She should. But she didn’t. Margaret considered that as she ignored the men talking about contingency plans in the corner.

“We should invite Maddie to visit.” Margaret announced to the shock of her husband.

“You want to see Maddie?” He frowned, and waved out Meyers’ abrupt departure. “Why?”

“It’s been years since Maddie saw her brother, Philip.” Margaret’s grin cracked a little at the edges. “We should allow her the opportunity. After all, everyone keeps telling us that he doesn’t have much time left.”

“You think that she’ll forgive us?”

“We never did anything wrong. She just came home hysterical about Evan being abused. Like we ever raised a hand to the boy.” Margaret scoffed. “But inviting Maddie by might change her perspective. If Maddie receives Evan’s custody and can be convinced to make that brat do his job, then all the better. It might even be faster than working with Meyers.”

“Margaret,” Philip said softly, “what if even with new organs, Daniel still dies? Maybe we need to start considering-”

Smack.

Her hand smarted. She couldn’t even look in her husband’s direction as nausea filled her stomach and shame burnt flags on her cheeks.

“He can’t die.”

Arms gently move around her and pull her close into a loving embrace. She squeezed her eyes shut. If she didn’t look, she didn’t see. If she couldn’t see it, was it real?

“Margaret.”

Philip had always been so good to her. So sweet and supportive. He’d never limited her, never tried to change her. Everyone from her childhood friends to her teachers, tutors, and parents had always tried to change her. Shape her into a more pleasing, more palatable form. Philip never had.

“What do we do if he dies, Philip?” Her voice cracked as she hid in the cashmere of his sweater. “It’s my baby boy. My heart. How can we just plan his death?”

“We’re not going to,” Philip said firmly. “Daniel will live. The treatment the clinic is preparing is cutting edge technology. And with a new lung, he’ll be set to take on the world.”

He pressed a kiss to her crown. “That’s what I want you to think about now, love. Planning that trip we’ve always promised him. I’ll take care of everything else.”

Margaret blinked tears out of her eyes to look up at her husband’s forgiving face. She pressed a kiss to the reddened skin. “Don’t forget to ice that.”

“Of course, my love, of course.”

Monday, March 9, 2009

Maddie took a deep breath. She had a fairly good idea that no matter what happened next, it wouldn’t be pleasant. But, well, Evan hadn’t lied when he said that the clinic was gorgeous. She’d spent just as many years growing up in hospitals as Evan and Daniel, and this had to be one of the most aesthetically pleasing she’d ever seen.

“Hello. I’m Maddie Buckley. I was told my brother Daniel was here.”

The nurse seemed surprised. Maddie was done waiting for an invitation. Evan had offered her the information when she’d asked and Maddie had tried not to get mad when he’d immediately made up some sort of outing with her friend Eddie as an excuse not to come.

But that was a problem for another day. Now it was time to see her brother.

Maddie wasn’t the same girl her parents had left in Hershey. She’d cared for the dying and the living herself, and tossed the belligerent into restraints with no pause. Her parents were nothing.

Except, intimidating.

Margaret Buckley’s smile was a bit more fixed than Maddie remembered. She moved a bit more abruptly and there was a tremble in her hand. Philip slouched where Maddie couldn’t remember anything other than a spine of steel.

But time could wear away even mountains.

“Maddie, I’m so glad you could make it,” her mother said, offering a stiff hug for the nurses watching. “Daniel’s missed you.”

“He’s doing as well as can be expected, of course.” Her father was still as soft spoken as ever. Laying a kiss so sweet against her forehead that Maddie had to close her eyes against the emotion. “He’s strong, and Margaret finally convinced the hospital board to let him join the research trial. That should get started any day now.”

“I read a bit about it.” Maddie swallowed her emotions, like always. “The remission rate for their treatment is very good.

“That’s why we’re here.” Margaret’s smile was plastic enough that it looked like it hurt.

Maddie blinked, and it was like something out of focus suddenly clicked. A candle on a dark night, a light getting flipped when you didn’t realize the sun had set.

Neither of her parents had asked after Evan.

“I’d like to see Daniel.”

“Of course,” Margaret gestured to the suite behind her, “he’s just through here.”

“Great.” Maddie stepped forward. “I’ll go see him and you can both rest easy knowing he’s in good hands.”

“Oh we couldn’t.” Her father protested. Her mother’s expression strained a little more at the edges. “Daniel is—“

“Going to be fine for the time it takes to grab a cup of coffee or take a walk.” Maddie donned her stern nurse expression and gave her parents an obvious look-over. “You know, of course, that patients rely on their visitors for much of their hope and energy. If you look tired and hopeless, like walking away for even a bathroom break will be too much time, then Daniel will lose hope and energy. You need to take care of yourselves, for Daniel.”

Out of the corner of her eye, set outside of her parents’ sight, was a small cluster of nurses offering thumbs up and silent golf claps. Maddie resisted smirking. Solidarity of nurses for the win.

“I suppose,” Margaret finally said through clenched teeth. “If it’s for Daniel.”

“Anything for Daniel,” Philip agreed as he offered his wife his hand to tug her away.

Anything for Daniel resonated through her mind as she approached her brother’s hospital bed. A swooping sensation in her belly. Anything for Daniel.

She remembered it in a vague way from her childhood. A mantra her parents had whispered to each other in the dark corners of hospital rooms and in the empty hallways outside restrooms and vending machines; in the oppressive silence of her parents’ study after phone calls with second and third and fourth opinion doctors.

For the first time ever, as far as Maddie could remember, she considered if it was a healthy choice for her parents to put Daniel’s health above everything else in their lives. She considered that everyone else in the mess between doctors, judges, social workers, and foster care parents thought the Buckleys were monsters for what they did. They were zealous in their desire to protect Evan.

So why was Maddie still protesting their innocence?

Perhaps, she thought—taking in the skeletal form on the hospital bed—it was because to admit her parents were wrong meant she had ignored the abuse of one brother and was consigning the other to death.

She took a deep breath. “Hi, Daniel.”

The stick figure on the bed, hooked up to so many wires and tubes that even with her education it was difficult to keep track of them all, startled. He twisted to look at Maddie and a smile bloomed across his face. “Maddie! I’ve missed you!”

“I’ve missed you too.” She swallowed. “I’m glad Evan told me where you were. You look awful.”

“It’s rude to remark on someone’s appearance.” Daniel scowled playfully. Maddie offered a frail smile and Daniel tugged weakly at the visitor’s chair, urging her to take a seat. “You’ve been gone for years. What have you been up to?”

“I’m a nurse in the emergency department at Our Lady of Mercy General Hospital in Philadelphia.” Maddie started with, “I work mostly the night shift and it gets crazy.”

“But you enjoy it. I can tell.” Daniel smiled. Even deathly ill, her brother still glowed from happiness in her sight. “Why didn’t you continue and get your MD?”

Maddie shrugged, “that wasn’t what I was going for. Maybe I’ll do the certification for a physician’s assistant, but that’s in the future. Not right now.”

Daniel nodded, “Any boyfriends?”

“I had one just out of school,” Maddie said after a moment, beating back the memories of the whole nightmare that was the first guy to decide that she’d be allowed to make her own decisions. She’d already been mostly on her own for a year by then and Marcus O’Connor didn’t get a simpering victim to his bad attitude. He got a punch in the face. “We didn’t work out.”

“So, what do you do for fun?”

“My job takes up a lot of time,” Maddie admitted. “I don’t often get weekends off, and I spend a lot of the actual ‘day’ sleeping. But last year I started volunteering with one of the city’s women’s shelters. It’s hard and heartbreaking to see women and children recovering from all kinds of abuse. Relearning, or sometimes learning it for the first time at all, that they have the right to feel safe.”

Daniel bit his lip and Maddie ignored how the cracked skin split and bled from the pressure. “That sounds really depressing.”

“It was what I needed.” Maddie picked at the skin around her fingernails. Antibacterial soap and hand sanitizer didn’t make for good skin on anyone in the medical field. “You were all gone by the time I got back from my final exams and… And I spent the last three years convinced either you or Evan or both of you were dead in graves I would never be able to find.” She shrugged faux-casually, blinking tears away. “Working at the shelter gave me a way to feel like I could do something about that. Nursing did too, but not as much as watching the women in the shelter learn that they could heal in mind and body.”

Daniel leaned closer. “Can I change the subject?”

“Sure,” Maddie blinked. “What were you thinking?”

He wiggles a little excitedly. “When are you bringing Evan in?”

She smiled. Of course. Maddie had heard that their last visit hadn’t gone well, but of course, Daniel missed Evan. “You want to see Evan?”

“No. Well, yes, of course.” Daniel shrugged, “he’s my brother. He’s a pain in the ass and he’s said some painful things the last time he was here, so I’d like to thump him good. But I meant when are you bringing him in for the surgery?”

“What are you talking about, Daniel?” Her chest froze like stepping out into a blizzard without enough layers. The air froze in her lungs. “What surgery?”

“My lungs are failing.” Daniel said with a shrug. “Mom and Dad finally talked the doctors into putting me in the viral trial, but they don’t think it’s going to do much good to save me without a new lung. You’re getting custody of Evan. Which means you can sign off on the surgery and we don’t have to deal with the state and their weird opinions.”

Maddie considered the hell that would rain down on her family if she tried anything of the sort. First, of course, she didn’t have custody of Evan yet. Second, according to Will Abram, the judge who’d signed off on the removal, and the private detective that her uncle had hired—none of the medical staff at the clinic were willing to do this surgery. Dr. Bachman had been blunt about the waste of resources and excessive trauma that such a surgery would invoke.

And Maddie had taken an oath. She was proud of it. She tried to walk the life she’d envisioned as a little girl waiting in hospital rooms where the first iteration of the Hippocratic Oath that she’d heard—the one that still held a place in her heart—was first, do no harm.

How much harm would she do if she agreed with Daniel?

“Uncle Jasper let me read the report from your doctors.” Maddie cleared her throat. “They don’t believe that you’re going to survive a transplant.”

“Aren’t medical records private?” Daniel frowned, “and they’ve been telling me for years that I’m dying. Hasn’t happened yet.”

“They’ll be right someday.” Maddie snorted, “Everyone dies eventually.”

Daniel’s hand spasmed and his cup of water crushed. His pale complexion had taken on a green hue. He stared at her like she was the ghost in the hospital bed waiting for death, and not him.

“Daniel?”

He cleared his throat and turned away. “None of the doctors take into consideration that I have Evan. It’s why he was made, Maddie. To save me. It’s really his only purpose in existing.”

He was born to save Daniel. If he can’t do that, then why is he even breathing?

Their mother’s words rang in her ears, and Maddie let it hurt. She let it rise up and make her frown. She put herself in her youngest brother’s shoes. She considered the man she’d dated briefly who thought he had a right to tell her what to do. Maddie remembered the expression on the women’s faces at the shelter when the counselors reassured them they had the right to say no.

Maddie could see for the first time, heartbreakingly, how horrible it must have been for Evan to never have been seen as a person, but only a product. Something to be used and discarded. Not loved and cherished.

Evan deserved to be protected.

“Do you know what consent is, Daniel?”

He frowned. “Why are you asking?”

“Just answer the question.”

“Sure.” Daniel shrugged, “consent is agreeing to something like a drug trial or internet cookies or sex.”

“Are you aware that consent can be revoked? Many of the women at the shelter I volunteered at were raped by the people who claimed to be their partners. These men had taken their ‘yes’ once, to mean ‘yes’ always, but that’s not how it works,” Maddie said. “Any time something is no longer what you want, you can revoke consent. There might be legalities involved, but no one should ever make you do something that is harmful to your body or your mind.”

“Why are you telling me this?” Daniel asked quietly, hands trembling in his lap.

“Because I want you to understand that Evan is not a commodity.” Maddie replied just as softly, leaning against the bed rail as her brother collapsed back against his pillows. “He’s a person. He doesn’t owe our parents for his birth and he doesn’t owe you anything. He is precious because he exists, and in the State of California, Evan is old enough to give or revoke his consent.” Her vision blurred, but she just let the tears flow. “He’s revoked his consent to supply you with donated biological material. That’s his right, Daniel. And I’m going to protect it.”

“I’m dying, Maddie,” he cried quietly.

“You are dying.” She pressed a kiss to his forehead. She would always comfort him. “You don’t have to be afraid. You’re loved and you will be remembered, and you are facing a future without pain, drugs, or a body that fails to work. These are good things.”

“I’m dying,” Daniel whispered into the pillow and Maddie’s skin and the oppressive tension of the hospital room.

Maddie kissed him again, her lips wet with the saltwater of her own tears. “Yes. You are.”

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Margaret practically bounced into his hospital room with a manic grin and wild eyes. “Today is a wonderful day.”

Daniel exchanged a glance with Eli, the nurse on the morning shift today, that expressed exactly how weird he found his mother’s behavior.

Eli shrugged, “Okay? What’s so great about today?”

“I heard from Dr. Daine today. She said the paperwork is finally finished and you should be getting the new treatment tomorrow!”

“That’s great news,” Eli agreed as the nurse finished her morning checks. “How are you going to celebrate?”

“Well, when Daniel is finally cancer free, we’re going on a trip!” Margaret laughed loudly, “wherever Daniel wants to go! But doctors and nurses are not allowed!”

“Understandable,” Eli graciously agreed and left them to plan with a smile.

“Mom,” Daniel tugged her closer to the bed. “You’re- you’re not joking, right? Dr. Daine really agreed.”

“Oh honey, of course she agreed.” Margaret smoothed back the hair on his face. “We promised you the best care possible. We weren’t ever going to let anyone get in our way.”

It sent a bit of a shiver down his spine. That had definitely included Evan several times and now Daniel wondered if that included him as well. “Thanks, Mom.”

“It’s no problem, Daniel.” She brushed it off with a kiss to settle at his side, commandeered the rolling table and settled her laptop on it. “Now, where should we go first?”

“Actually,” Daniel hesitated, this wasn’t going to be pretty. “I would like to see Evan.”

“No.” Margaret turned the laptop to display sparkling blue waters and white beaches. “What about Hawaii? We’re on the right coast to start there!”

“The visit with Maddie was great,” Daniel said, trying to make her focus. “Yeah, I cried, but they were good tears. It had just been so long since I’d seen her.”

“It was her own fault,” Margaret huffed. “If she hadn’t started that fight, everything would have been fine.”

“Except Evan,” Daniel said quietly. It was nerve-wracking to fight with his mother, but this was something he needed. More than a celebratory trip or even a new experimental treatment. He needed to see his brother. “Evan wasn’t fine then, and he wasn’t fine in Pittsburgh, and he wasn’t fine when we arrived in LA. Maddie says he’s been doing better and,” he took a deep breath. “I’d really like to see him, Mom.”

“You nearly flatlined!” She spat. “You had a heart flutter that caused a severe asthma attack, and it was his fault. He’s a selfish, miserable, wretched brat and I won’t let him kill you.” Margaret settled herself in the seat again. “Now, how do you feel about Hawaii?”

Daniel took a deep breath and clenched his fists in the bedding. Maybe he would try to speak with his father later. His dad could probably work around Margaret so that Daniel could see his brother one last time.

“Why don’t we start in Mexico?” Daniel offered, “I always wanted to see those big ruins.”

“With your health?” Margaret shook her head. “The hike would kill you.”

“Isn’t inclusive and accessible the buzz words now?” Daniel prodded carefully. It felt a bit like picking his way through land mines. There was something off about his mother’s behavior. “There should be at least one tour option that we could do.”

“Wouldn’t you prefer the beach? Clear blue water and soft white beaches?”

“If we’re really planning a trip for if the treatment works, then no, I’d prefer to see the pyramids. There are beaches everywhere. I want an experience.”

His mother didn’t move, and a certain stillness seeped into the hospital room. “If?”

“What- Mom—“

“If?” Margaret stood, completely ignoring her laptop as it crashed onto the floor. “What do you mean ‘if’?”

Daniel swallowed, “Everyone, all the doctors and nurses, they don’t think I have much left in me. That even if I survive the cancer, I won’t live much longer anyway.”

“Who’s been telling you this shit?!”

“It’s not shit, Mom,” Daniel’s voice cracked, “it’s the truth!”

“It’s not the truth! I don’t believe it!” Margaret shrieked, “You’re not going to die!”

“I don’t want to plan a trip I’m never going to take,” Daniel said as he ignored her. “I want to say goodbye to Evan. I want to apologize for not understanding how much he was hurt. I want to tell him I love him, just for who he is!”

“Who he is?” She shouted, “He’s a wretched miserable selfish brat who couldn’t be bothered to do the one thing he was born to do!”

“He’s my brother.” Daniel scowled at her. “He deserved so much more from us than he ever got.”

“He was supposed to save you!”

“He did, Mom! He gave me more years than anyone could have guessed! But it’s time for me to be realistic. I don’t have much time left.”

“You’re not going to—“

“Everyone dies!” Daniel shouted. “Everyone dies, eventually. I want to die happy!”

A searing kind of pain spread across his face and his neck hurt from where the force had turned him without any care for his sore body. A quiet kind of numbness spread throughout his body. Perhaps it should have started from his cheek, but instead it started in his chest.

It started in his heart.

A sob broke the quiet. Daniel watched as moisture filled her eyes. “Oh, my baby. Oh, my beautiful baby, Mommy’s so sorry.”

She reached out for him and he flinched. The pain was getting worse in his cheek and that hollow feeling had sunk down into his bones and he was tired. So very tired.

Margaret cried. She brought her hands up to her chest like she could shield them, or shield herself from them, and just stood and cried.

The door to the foyer room opened and Philip rushed in. “What- what happened?”

His gaze spun wildly around the room as he rushed to take his wife in his arms. His gaze landed on Daniel and what had to be the growing red splotch across his face and Philip tugged his wife closer. “Oh, it’s okay Margaret. It’s okay. You’ll be fine. It’s just a small bruise. Daniel will be fine.”

Philip might have thought he’d be fine, but Daniel didn’t know if he’d ever really recover. His mother had hit him. She’d hit him because he wanted something she’d decided he couldn’t have. He watched as his father took his mother by the arm and gently led her out into the garden.

“My love, you need to calm down. For Daniel’s sake.”

Margaret nodded and tucked her head against her husband’s for a sweet kiss as she agreed, “for Daniel.”

Philip didn’t stop to reassure Daniel, or ask how he was, instead turning swiftly from Margaret back through the room to the main door to the nurses’ station. Daniel can hear him through the two open doors explaining that Daniel had fallen and hurt himself. They could use some ice for his bruises.

It didn’t feel sudden. Daniel didn’t blink and suddenly the world was upside down. It was more like an old film developing in solution. The conditions had to be just right for the photo to develop. Well, now it had. And the image that everyone had seen but him was crystal clear.

Margaret and Philip Buckley were sick. It wasn’t a virus they could be vaccinated against or bacteria they could fight off. This was a rot that was bone deep.

A cancer.

It had laid hidden in the depths of their heart and the shadows of their mind, leaching resources for better things right out of them.

Bridger walked into the room with a frown, a bag of ice in hand as Philip muttered under his breath about carelessness.

Careless. That was one way to put it.

The nurse took in the undisturbed wires and cords, the untangled blankets, the red mark Daniel could feel rising on his cheek just from the heat it was giving off, and stared. “You fell?”

Daniel, not really sure what he could say, not really sure what they could do, just shrugged. “I could use some ice.”

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Bridger smiled beneath his mask. Daniel could see the crinkles that appeared at the corner of his eyes. “Are you ready?”

“Yeah.” Daniel stared at the metal tray the nurse had pulled in. “Will it hurt?”

“The fluid holding the infection is a little thick,” the nurse agreed. “So it’s a bit painful, both needle and injection. You’ll probably have a bruise for a while.”

“Side effects?” It wasn’t like Daniel was particularly concerned. He’d spent his entire life injecting vile poison and irradiated material into his body. Idly, he considered whether he’d done enough radiation treatments to set off a geiger counter.

He kind of wished he glowed in the dark. That would at least be cool.

“Most patients report general malaise and fatigue. Sometimes headaches, chills, and body aches, but nausea is uncommon.” Bridger gave a thumb up, “which should hopefully help pack nutrients back into your body.”

Daniel shrugged. “I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t nauseous. I barely recognize it anymore. Just when it spikes. I just barely ever feel hungry enough to eat. Nothing’s ever appetizing enough.”

Bridger frowned but nodded. “I’ll tell the doctors. They might have some ideas about how to restart your appetite. Ready?”

“The only infection I’ll ever celebrate getting,” Daniel laughed.

“Too true.” Bridger grinned, “but here we go.”

The solution was thick, painful, and chilly. Daniel couldn’t help but shiver and grimace.

“All done.”

Daniel considered the nurse and the window on the other side of the room. “Do you know where my parents are?”

“Last I saw, they’d commandeered the closest visitor’s lounge to have a conversation with a number of very unpleasant people in suits.”

Since his mother hit him, something had come loose inside Margaret Buckley. She verged wildly from doting over protective mother, to angry aggressive shrew demanding the best of care for him. Daniel had watched carefully. His father never left her alone, always knew just how to handle her temper or her paranoia; Daniel had to wonder if her behavior was actually new, or if his parents had just hidden it from him before.

This was perhaps the first time in months that both his parents had left him genuinely alone. It was odd, but Daniel found himself grateful for the time alone. Or at least as alone as someone in a hospital bed ever found themselves.

“Do you think I could spend some time on the patio?”

“Sure. Let me clean this up and grab a wheelchair. That way, you don’t have to worry about hard stone on your poor rump.”

The Southern California heat should have felt oppressive, but there was something about it that was invigorating. It stole into his bones through his skin and Daniel was warm for the first time he could remember. He turned his face to the sun and closed his eyes.

Daniel hadn’t known it, but he’d spent his whole life in rooms filled with a cloying chill and a dark specter of death. An unspoken curse lingering for every shouted at doctor and bitten off sentence. He’d spent so much of his life afraid. Daniel didn’t want to be afraid anymore.

Vaguely, he remembered attending church before his diagnosis. There had been a large building, anyway, and uncomfortable restrictive clothing the nanny had forced them into each week. But they’d stopped when he’d been diagnosed.

Now, Daniel didn’t think he could reach out to a God that he didn’t know. Even one that, as Victory said, believed in him. The world said God didn’t exist. His mother sneered at the families that prayed for their loved one’s health and his father ignored the well intended sentiments of strangers.

But death existed. And Daniel thought that might be good enough.

“I’m scared.” He whispered to the wind and the softly beating sun. “I’m scared of what comes next. Of giving up.”

“Everyone is,” came a voice from the garden path. It was the older gentleman who had spoken with Victory on her last day. The man who had offered him comfort before his mother chased him out. He eased his way between the paving stones and the berry bushes. “Death is —“

“The next great adventure?” Daniel said, mouth dry.

The gentleman chuckled as he settled on the stone bench beside Daniel’s chair. “Dumbledore was not wrong. It takes great courage to face the unknown without quailing.” He considered Daniel, and Daniel tried to breathe through the feeling of the air bearing down on him. “But I don’t think that an adventure is what you need from death.”

Daniel frowned, caught out. “What I need from death? Death just happens.”

“Like your disease perhaps?” the older man asked. “Not something you earned or deserved, but something that happened to you?”

“What else would it be?”

“Death could be a gift, Daniel Buckley.” The old man offered Daniel a soft smile. “Death can be the escape of pain and sorrow.” The man smirked, “It can be the restful sleep that never ends.”

“I’m not ready to go yet,” Daniel admitted.

The older man nodded, “What keeps you here?”

Daniel opened his mouth but hesitated to speak. He’d always said that there was more to life than hospital rooms and exhaustion. He had always told doctors, nurses, and therapists that he wanted so much more out of life; but it occurred to him, sun beating down on his face and the gentle ocean breeze blowing the smell of brine up from the beach, that he’d never gone out and lived that life he’d wanted.

He’d never gone to college, never learned to drive. Daniel had never taken that trip his parents had promised him, had never even asked to see more of Pennsylvania than the hospital rooms, bedrooms, and carefully curated activities his mother had selected. He’d never gone on a date. Never had sex.

Never even considered it.

Always there was the sound of his mother’s voice in his ear telling him it was too dangerous. He was too fragile. It wasn’t healthy enough. Those things weren’t worth his time.

Daniel took a breath and offered the one thing he knew was true. “I need to apologize to my brother.”

The gentleman hummed, tapping his cane against the paving stones. “And this keeps you here?”

“I hurt my brother.” Daniel admitted, “I didn’t plan it, didn’t even realize it, but as surely as this cancer is killing me, our parents were killing Evan. And I didn’t want to see it. Didn’t want to acknowledge the damage we were doing to him. Didn’t want to see my parents as evil as he thinks they are.”

“And you need to apologize.”

“I love him,” Daniel said freely. “I remember his smile as an infant and the way he careened through the house as a toddler, running before learning to walk. And he saved me. So many times he was the difference between my death and survival. I have to ask his forgiveness. I have to make sure he knows I’m really sorry. And- and I have to make sure he doesn’t feel guilty for my death.

“My parents will blame him, and I can see why but Maddie showed me—“ Daniel coughed to clear his throat and wipe the tears from his face. “Maddie showed me why Evan needs to be protected. Why he should never be asked for his organs again. I didn’t understand.”

“But now you do.”

“Now I do,” Daniel nodded.

The older gentleman appeared to think for a moment before nodding and standing. “I wish you well in your fight, Daniel Buckley. And I wish you well reconciling with your brother.” He offered the kindest smile Daniel had seen in years. “I will visit again,” Daniel’s stranger promised. “Perhaps your answer will be different then.”

Friday, March 13, 2009

“Good morning, Daniel.” Bridger called out as he entered the hospital room. “I noticed your parents aren’t around.”

“They had another appointment with the lawyers they hired to handle Evan’s custody.”

“You’ll have to forgive me if I’m hoping your parents lose.”

Bridger’s tone was sharp, but Daniel didn’t mind. He’d never considered it until Maddie had pointed out how his parents had stolen from Evan to preserve Daniel’s life. Consent wasn’t an option when it came to sex, why had it been when it was a medical procedure?

His life wasn’t more important than his brother’s.

Daniel cleared his throat, “what’s for breakfast?”

Bridger let himself be diverted and slid the bowl onto his tray. “Something yummy.”

Daniel considered the semi-congealed mess in the warm bowl, “Oatmeal?”

“Organic,” Bridger assured with a smile, “your mother made certain. Sweetened with strawberries. She said they were your favorite.”

“They are,” Daniel agreed with a grin. “I was just surprised. I thought I was on a liquid diet?”

“You haven’t thrown up in the last day or two,” Bridger points out. “Dr. Bachman wants to try getting you back on tougher solids. Oatmeal is a good place to begin. Pretty easy on your stomach and throat.”

“Don’t have to tell me twice,” Daniel nodded. His first bite is honestly strange, it’s the first solid food he’s eaten in months that wasn’t fruit or vegetable pieces in a smoothie. But the sliced strawberry is sweet on his tongue and the soft oatmeal is swallowed easily. “I did want to ask you a question, though.”

“Shoot.”

“There was someone in the garden yesterday.” Daniel said after another bite, thinking about how to word what had happened. “A man, he was very kind, but I didn’t manage to get his name. I thought, maybe if I described him, he might ring a bell?”

“Sure.” Bridger settled on the arm of the visitor’s chair, “what did he look like?”

“He was an older gentleman perhaps in his sixties or seventies. With dark skin and hair going white,” Daniel bit his lip shy to admit, “and a kind smile. He had a very comforting perspective on death. He wore a white suit and walked with a cane.”

Bridger offered an equally kind smile. “I’m afraid I don’t know the description. Perhaps it’s one of the volunteers though, I’ll ask Eli.”

“This is the third time I’ve seen him,” Daniel offered, “I think he was assigned my counselor through the research program. I feel silly that I still don’t know his name.”

“Your counselor?” Bridger frowned, “through the research project?”

“Yes?” Daniel frowned back this time, sitting a little straighter on his bed.

“You were never assigned a counselor.” Bridger said, looking up from the record at the bottom of the bed. “Our head of counseling is still fighting with your parents about the requirement.”

“But he was there,” Daniel said, certain he was right. “He counseled me.”

“I don’t know what to say, Daniel.” Bridger shrugged with a frown. “The only male counselor the project employs is a white guy with hair down to his ass. He’s very ‘at one with the earth, and the earth with you’.”

Daniel wrinkled his nose, that wasn’t appealing and his visitor had not been a white guy. “That’s weird.”

“Really weird,” Bridger laughed, “but who knows? Maybe you were visited by Death.”

Daniel’s heart thumped and a warmth spread through his chest that felt like blankets and hot chocolate on a cold day. If he had been visited by Death, it had been a good visit. He smiled a little to himself, maybe dying didn’t have to be so bad, if Victory’s friend was the one to walk him into it.

“Nurse Charles,” Margaret sniffed as she entered. “Oh, Daniel, what are you eating?”

“Oatmeal, Mom.” Daniel rolled his eyes. Cold, it was far less appetizing, but he wanted a couple more bites before he gave up. “Organic, since you raised that fuss over the chicken broth. It’s good.”

“Oh, but what about your stomach?” Margaret fussed, “oats aren’t easy to digest.”

“But it’s pretty plain,” Daniel pointed out. “And I have to start somewhere.”

“How are you feeling?” Philip frowned, “any new symptoms?”

“Symptoms, sure.” Daniel shrugged, taking another bite of his breakfast. “New? I don’t know. I don’t feel well. Mildly dizzy and in pain, tired. But I only have a little nausea and, as Bridger pointed out just before you came in, I haven’t thrown up in a couple of days.” Daniel considered his fretting parents. “I’m feeling good. Really good for being so sick. Just wiped.”

Philip nodded, “that’s good to hear, son. It’s why we’re here. To get a new opinion on your prognosis.”

“A new option,” Margaret corrected. “We just want the best for you. Anything for you, sweetheart.”

Daniel smiled like that didn’t send his stomach sinking. Like it wasn’t an unwanted reminder of exactly what lengths his parents had gone to, to preserve his life. A reminder that he had failed his brother and still hadn’t apologized.

“Hey, Mom, is there any fruit puree in the outside fridge? This one’s all done.”

“I’ll go check.”

Daniel took a deep breath and blurted—he didn’t have a lot of time—“I’d like to see Evan, again. Even if that means I have to do it alone.”

“Daniel,” Philip scowled, “the last time you saw your brother he practically gave you a heart attack. There’s no reason to risk your life.”

“I want to talk to Evan again.” Daniel grimaced, “It should be better this time.”

“How?”

“Maddie helped,” Daniel finally told his father, his mother entering the room with a frown—the outside fridge was likely empty. “She helped me to see things from his perspective.”

“Is this about your insistence to see that terrible selfish brat?” Margaret scowled, “he’s not worth your health. I told you, you weren’t going to see him!”

“And then you smacked me in the face and proceeded to have a mental breakdown,” Daniel snapped. “I’m dying and the last time I spoke to my brother we fought. I don’t want to die with that between us.”

“You’re not going to die.” Margaret stomped her foot. “The new treatment is going to work and you’re going to get better.”

“My heart is stressed, Mom,” Daniel insisted. “My body is weak, and my lungs are pock marked with cancer cells. Even if, by some miracle, I survive the cancer, I can’t expect a long life.”

“You don’t have to worry about that!” His dad hurried to assure. “We have a plan for that.”

Daniel froze, wondering if he wanted to dig into that. Wondering if he had the energy to dig into it. Anything for Daniel had always been a warm reassurance beating back the chilling cold of death. Now it sent the hair rising on the back of his neck.

What fresh hell were they planning against Evan?

He took a deep breath. Daniel had spent most of his life abdicating the responsibility of his health and decisions to his parents. The nightmares Evan lived with were one consequence of that choice. Daniel wasn’t sure his heart could handle another revelation.

“What plan?”

“You don’t have to worry about it, sweetheart.” Margaret said, petting her son’s shoulder.

Daniel twitched away, staring at his mother, afraid of what she might have done. He turned to his father. “I don’t care. Whatever plan you have in place, whatever time you think you’re going to be able to promise me. I don’t believe it. I want to see my brother again. And you’re going to make sure I get the opportunity.”

He ignored his mother’s temper as he stared his father down. “Tell me you’re going to make it work, Dad. Tell me.”

Philip took a deep breath, “I’ll figure it out, Daniel. I promise.”

Daniel had told his stranger that he couldn’t die without apologizing to his brother. But if it was a choice between offering his apology and Evan ending up cut open on a gurney in a foreign operating room; Daniel might just take the choice into his own hands.

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Maddie took a moment to check her makeup in the rearview mirror. These were people who were very important to Evan. In the phone calls she’d had since being reintroduced to her brothers, she’d heard the names and voices of everyone she’d meet today.

Evan’s one request of Maddie had been for them to stay in LA and while she understood he hated Pennsylvania, she believed that at least some of the desire to stay in LA was about the support network that Evan had found here that he didn’t want to leave.

Maddie couldn’t blame him. She couldn’t offer him anything similar where she currently lived. One of them should at least have that support.

“Shit!” Maddie turned and Evan was standing right there, nose pressed to the window. A shy, mischievous smile curling his lips as laughter from onlookers echoed when she opened the door. “Evan! Don’t scare me like that.”

Evan grinned, bouncing on his toes, “Eddie suggested it.”

“You’re a liar, Evan Buckley.” A well-built young man yelled from the front door. “Go wash your mouth out with soap!”

“Come on, Maddie.” Evan grinned, and Maddie couldn’t help but answer his grin with her own.

He dragged her up the gently sloping lawn to greet a petite dark skinned woman with a big hug and the young man with a punch to the arm. “Maddie, this is my foster mom, Athena Grant, and my- my best friend, Eddie Diaz.”

In less than five minutes, Athena Grant had shown her brother more care than Margaret Buckley had in probably Evan’s entire life. Maddie didn’t like it, but the visit to see Daniel had made it clear that she could no longer afford to deny the abuse her parents had done to all of them.

Maddie hated her a little for it. Athena Grant was everything Maddie wanted from a mother. And since she still couldn’t hate her mother, she decided to hate Athena instead.

“It’s great to meet you, Maddie.” Athena’s smile was warm, and Maddie hated that she was already relaxing into it. “Come on in. Michael’s watching the grill, but I really shouldn’t leave him alone with it.” She rolled her eyes. “Who knows what he would do without supervision?”

“Uncle Jasper is back there.” Evan protested, “he seems sensible. Whatever else, the steaks probably won’t be burnt.”

“Steak for breakfast?” Maddie asked.

And Uncle Jasper must not have been as sensible as Evan thought, because Athena had to scramble to answer a confused and alarmed shout from the back of the house.

“And I was really looking forward to those breakfast tacos.” A young girl mentioned, laying upside down on the couch. “Hi. I’m May.”

“Hi May, I’m Maddie.” She gave a playful frown, “how concerned should I be about breakfast?”

“Not very.” May admitted after a moment, “Mom’s good at making things tasty. Evan, come see my new doll!”

And suddenly, Maddie was alone with Eddie and Evan was protesting that leaving without asking was rude.

The silence was heavy for a moment. “So you’re Eddie.”

And Maddie nearly cringed at how aggressive the observation came out. It was just- It was just that Evan talked about him all the time. Maddie wanted to know about her brother, and all her brother would tell her was about Eddie.

“Yes,” Eddie said slowly, a calculating look in his eye that Maddie didn’t like. “And you’re Maddie, Evan’s sister.”

“Yeah.” She tossed the end of her hair over her shoulder. “I came as soon as I was contacted by DFCS.”

“That’s great.” Eddie replied a bit flatly, “I’m glad someone from Evan’s family is willing to drop everything for him.”

“They aren’t that bad,” Maddie said immediately and frowned when the younger man stared at her incredulously. “They shouldn’t have been parents, but they aren’t bad people.”

“They aren’t bad people.” Eddie repeated slowly, like he couldn’t quite understand the words. “I sincerely hope you never share that opinion with Evan. For the sake of your own relationship with him.”

How dare he? He didn’t even know their parents. He had no right to judge them when he’d never even meet them. Maddie wanted to yell and scream, to defend that her parents loved her. Loved Evan. They just loved Daniel more.

They were horrible parents, and she could admit that it was maybe a good thing that Evan had been taken away, but she still loved them. She didn’t know how to express it—to explain exactly how wrong Eddie’s opinion was—but a hand clamped tightly around her mouth. She was startled by how close Eddie had gotten.

“Let’s get one thing clear here. You might be Evan’s sister, but you’re not his only family. Not anymore.” He scowled. “You weren’t here when Athena first brought him home and had to convince him it was okay to eat potato chips and cupcakes. That his mom wouldn’t find out. And you sure as fuck weren’t there the day I cradled him in the street as he insisted, out of his mind loopy on drugs, that he couldn’t go to the hospital. That he didn’t want to be cut open again.”

Her heart lurched in her chest. Eddie lifted his hand from her mouth, but Maddie was sure if she tried to speak, she’d just end up crying.

“Listen. I’m not trying to give you nightmares,” Eddie shook his head. “You can love the Buckleys all you want. Don’t try to convince Evan they loved him. Don’t put the picture in his head that love is this hateful, ugly, nasty thing that suffocates and kills. Love is beautiful; let Evan keep it.”

Athena approached then, two glasses of punch in her hands and a cautious look on her face. “Everything all right over here? Jasper was looking for you, Maddie.”

“Yeah,” Maddie smiled weakly. “Just trying to get along.”

“It helps when you have something more than a person in common,” Athena responded dryly, handing out the drinks, herding them towards the back. “Maddie, did I hear from Evan that you volunteer at a women’s shelter?”

“Yeah.” She sipped her drink. Ugh, mango. She hated mango. “My shifts at the hospital were long, but I needed something else in my life. I needed something more than work in my life. It’s been tremendously rewarding.”

Eddie cleared his throat. “My Aunt works for the Amanda DeVario Trust running one of the shelters for domestic violence. I’ll get you her number, since Evan said you’d be staying.”

“Speaking of,” Athena grinned, “how goes the house hunt?”

“Slow,” Maddie admitted.

Jasper laughed. “She’s very picky.”

“We don’t need a freaking penthouse,” Maddie rolled her eyes. “I’m glad you’re willing to help, Uncle Jasper. You were right. Buying an apartment in LA is expensive. But I’m so overwhelmed.”

“We’ve been looking at two bedrooms, but the majority are really too small for Evan and Maddie,” Jasper said, “unless they’re willing to be right on top of each other. They really need more space. Space they can spread out in and feel safe.”

“Which is not even getting into the fact that I would like to work and I have no idea where that might take me.” Maddie flopped down on the picnic bench with her gross mango juice.

Eddie grimaced, “I’m so happy the Army assigns me a bunk and I don’t have to think about it.”

Athena laughed and considered Maddie a moment. “Michael, do you have any suggestions?”

The architect hummed, “let’s go through your list of desired amenities. I might know something. Or,” he shot a mischievous grin at her Uncle Jasper, “I might know something you can renovate.”

“Now, that’s an idea!” Jasper smirked.

***

“Alright,” Eddie stretched out from the picnic table in Athena’s back yard to poke Evan with the toe of his shoe. “We’ve been fed and watered with what has to be the fanciest breakfast I’ve ever had. But we were supposed to go out for the afternoon. What do you want to do, Evan?”

“Oh, I think we should head to the air and space museum!” Maddie enthused. “It’s still on your bucket list, right? We could go today.”

Eddie considered how his best friend appeared to wilt. “Maybe another day. It’s a beautiful day, not too hot. We could head down to the skate park near Abuela’s. The city will let you rent equipment there, too.”

“Seriously?” Maddie laughed, “could you be anymore of a stereotypical boy? Evan doesn’t skate. What, are you afraid of being seen doing something nerdy, like going to the museum?”

“No,” Eddie genuinely didn’t care. And he’d known Evan long enough that if his friend got excited enough to chatter, Eddie would be pulled right along with him. “Learning is fun. I just finished my clinicals for my certification as a combat medic. I’m good at science. It’s just a nice day. I thought Evan might like to head to the park.”

“It’s LA,” Maddie huffed. “Is there such a thing as bad weather?”

“Yes, actually,” Athena interrupted. Thank God. “And it’s awful. Flash flooding, mudslides, and power outages are not uncommon when the rain does fall; people don’t really handle it well.”

“Not to mention earthquakes and wildfires.” Michael added as he shook hot sauce on the breakfast taco before folding it up and passing it over to a shy Evan. “The rest of the country can claim that they’re natural disasters, but they happen regularly enough it might as well be weather.”

Maddie stalled out over that. “Well, I still don’t see why we can’t go to the museum.”

“I think the boys have a list,” Michael leaned in to share, “of activities Evan wasn’t allowed to try because they were too dangerous. Skateboarding is probably on it.”

“Remind me what you’ve already checked off?” Athena asked with a smile.

“Well, we went climbing.” Eddie said with a smile. “That was interesting.”

Evan giggled, “we were horrible.”

“But it was fun,” Eddie pointed out.

Evan nodded, “we probably just need more lessons.”

“And we got discount tickets to a hang gliding center.”

Evan leaned into Athena and whispered, “It was couples’ night.”

Eddie shrugged, “Two for the price of one? Sounded like a score to me.”

Athena grinned, “And there was the indoor ice skating rink, right?”

“Enough of my family has annual passes that we just kind of brought Evan along,” Eddie admitted. “I’m pretty sure someone paid for his guest pass, but I can’t swear he wasn’t smuggled in, either.”

Michael barked a laugh, “With your family? Doesn’t he stand out?”

Eddie considered his very blond and white best friend with a teasing smile. “Maybe just a little?”

“I still like the idea of going to the museum.” Maddie said quietly with a frown, “The point of today was to share the activity. We should think about something we would all enjoy doing. I don’t think I would enjoy taking a chance cracking my head open on asphalt. The museum is safer.”

Just as Eddie went to calmly, or at least outwardly calmly, counter Maddie’s point, Evan burst.

“Pier!” Sitting on the grass with May at the end of the table, not quite looking at anyone, he took a deep breath and said, “I-I would like to go to the pier.”

“Santa Monica Pier?” Eddie clarified as he reached for his phone to start Googling.

“Oh, I don’t know Evan.” Maddie bit her lip and Eddie resisted the urge to punch her in the face. Normally, Eddie considered himself pretty even-tempered, but honestly, the entire Buckley family was such a hot mess that someone needed to punch them in the face. All of them. Except Evan. Obviously. “It’s a bit of a drive.”

“It’s not that far,” Michael objected.

“But traffic?”

“Oh, sure, but you’ll hit that no matter where you go in the area,” Athena said. “The pier never really shuts down, but it will be far less crowded today than during the middle of the summer.”

“Nice choice, Evan.” Eddie believed in positive reinforcement. God knew his friend struggled with making choices. “Sounds like you picked a good place to hang out.”

Evan bit his lip. “I kind of just want to see the arcade.”

Athena hummed, “let me give you some cash, then.”

“Oh, Mrs. Grant, I can cover it.” Maddie hurried to reassure her. “Evan is my responsibility.”

Eddie could see his friend deflate a little, and Jasper Buckley turned to his niece with a frown. Eddie really didn’t like the idea that Evan was dependent on his sister when she was trying to talk him out of what he wanted.

“Not yet, he isn’t.” Athena arched a mildly unimpressed brow at the younger woman. “I know you would do what you think is best for your brother, and that I can rely on Eddie to cover anything if Evan needed it. It will make me feel better if he has money.”

Maddie frowned, following Evan’s foster mother back into the house. “Mrs. Grant—“

Eddie moved to the patch of grass beside Evan—he already knew who was going to win that fight—when May ran back into the house with her dolls. He gathered his friend in a tight hug, ignoring the Buckley that sat quietly with Michael on the other end of the table. “I am so proud of you, Evan.”

He snuggled close and took deep breaths, not quite crying. “It was hard.”

“I know it was. It was probably even worse to hear us argue about it.”

Evan laughed and wiped at his cheeks with his sleeve. “You didn’t even yell.”

Eddie huffed, “That was hard too.”

Evan patted him on the shoulder with an uncertain look. “My counselor told me that adjusting to Maddie was going to be hard in ways I might not expect.”

Eddie frowned. “Did they give an example?”

“They said that I had to remember that Mom and Dad raised Maddie, too. That she might repeat things that she doesn’t really believe without realizing it.”

“Maddie’s been a bit conditioned.” Eddie admitted he could understand. The Buckley’s overwhelming determination for their older son to live had invaded every part of their lives from what he had heard. It wasn’t going to hurt one sibling and not the other. “Like you were. But not the same, because she didn’t have to break that conditioning to get on with her life when you will.”

Evan nodded. “I need to be firm about my boundaries. About what I will accept from Maddie as my guardian and what I won’t.”

“Did they have any suggestions?”

“Some,” Evan said, “but I don’t even know where to begin.”

“Perhaps you could start with your list.” Jasper Buckley offered quietly from a seat much closer than he’d started with.

They both jumped and Evan laughed, “Uncle Jasper!”

“Sorry, boys.” He smiled, and Eddie couldn’t help but forgive him. It was Evan’s smile and Evan’s eyes staring out of that adult face. “I want to support you and Maddie, but that will mean different things at different times.”

“Do you have any kids?” Evan asked.

“No,” Jasper said, “so you might understand why I want to keep an eye on you both.”

It was touching that he was prepared to go all in, but there were gaps in his story that concerned Eddie. Things like why he’d only shown up now? Where had he been for the last decade?

“Maddie was more dismissive than I would like about it,” Eddie finally replied, “about the list. It might be a good idea for you to work with your counselor about how to talk about your boundaries with Maddie, using the list as an example.”

“And I’m going to talk to her about an allowance for you,” his uncle said firmly. “Something that Maddie can’t control. You deserve to feel safe, and the freedom to get your own snacks, video games, or skateboard rentals is one way we can make that happen.”

Evan sighed, “this sucks.”

“I’m pretty sure it’s called being an adult.” Eddie laughed as he stood from the ground and pulled Evan up with him. “And yeah. It does suck.”

“I want a refund.”

“Yeah. Pretty sure that’s not happening, bud.”

***

“Oh my God,” Maddie propped herself up on the pile of the pier edge and gasped from giggling so hard. “The look on the guy’s face! He couldn’t believe you won! I can’t believe you won!”

The unicorn Eddie had won was enormous. It would take up its own seat wherever they ended up eating lunch. Evan bit his lip when his friend offered him the plushie. “You didn’t have to.”

“I wanted to.” Eddie shrugged with a smirk. “My uncle, Abuelo’s youngest brother, is like a professional carnival goer. He knows all the secrets and tricks. The most fun I’ve ever spent at a family reunion was the year he decided to teach the kids carnie tricks.”

“Is he the one who taught you poker?” Evan asked, cuddling his unicorn helplessly. He couldn’t remember ever having a stuffed animal when he was younger.

“Abuela taught me poker,” Eddie laughed. “With candy denominations like when we played with the Grants. But you have to watch out. She gets cut throat if she doesn’t get her butterscotch.”

“They taught you how to play poker, Evan?” Maddie frowned. “I don’t know if I like that.”

Evan wondered if he’d made a mistake in accepting Maddie’s custody. Would he wake up a week from now and see his mother instead of his sister? “It’s fine, Maddie. It was just a card game.”

“I don’t know if it is, Evan.” Maddie shook her head and grabbed at his arm when he tried to walk away. “I mean, you’re skateboarding and rock climbing, learning to play poker and going hang gliding. Those are dangerous things! Did you throw everything Mom and Dad taught you out the window?”

“Why does it matter?” Evan pinned his gaze on the far booth and ignored the way his eyes lost focus. “Mom and Dad are… not here.”

“It’s just…” she sighed, “it just feels reckless. I don’t want you doing things just because mom and dad said you couldn’t. Sometimes they were right.”

“How do you know? How could you possibly know, Maddie? You were out of the house before I turned ten. You barely ever came home during nursing school and you haven’t been around at all for the last three years. How could you possibly know what they told me?”

Maddie stared, and Evan resisted the urge to take it all back. Maybe she didn’t deserve it. But neither did he.

Eddie’s warm hand wrapped around his elbow and gently tugged in the direction back up the street. “Let’s get some pizza.”

“I’m not hungry.”

“I know,” Eddie said quietly. “I kind of imagine that your stomach is twisting into a knot over how much you regret it.”

“She wasn’t trying to be mean.”

“No,” he agreed, “she just leaned in on your trauma like pressing down on a broken bone. You both got hurt lashing out. That doesn’t mean you said anything wrong.”

“You don’t think I should apologize?”

“If you feel like you should, then you can.” Eddie nodded, “but maybe not right now.”

Evan finally looked up from the pink-white-blue polyester fur of his giant stuffed animal to see the sign of the pizza parlor in front of him. “Pizza?”

“It’s something on the list that I think your sister can’t object to.”

They told the hostess they needed a table for three people and a giant stuffed animal and she led them to a half-booth near the back where Eddie stuffed the Unicorn into the seat next to Maddie and squished Evan on the inside of the booth.

“Eddie!” Evan laughed, shoving at his friend when Eddie leaned back to intentionally squish him. “Stop!”

Eddie just smirked from his spot, treating Evan like part of the furniture as Maddie rolled her eyes.

“Boys.”

The waitress, all poofy poodle skirt and fluffy hair, blushed when Eddie leaned forward and smiled. Evan could empathize. Eddie’s attention could be intense. Always safe though. He leaned back into his best friend as he took in the dizzying array of options.

“Can I get you all drinks?”

“Lemonade,” Maddie decided.

“And for the boys?”

Where were the drinks? He knew the look he shot Eddie was panicked because his friend immediately turned and flipped the menu to the back. It didn’t really help. There were so many options.

“You tried soda with Athena, right?”

“I didn’t really like it.” Evan frowned. He didn’t like disappointing people, and the Grants had been disappointed, but Eddie just shrugged.

“That’s fine. He’ll have water and I’ll get Coke.”

Maddie looked down at the menu, but Evan could see her hands tremble where they rested on the table. “You know. I don’t think I ate pizza until my first shift as a resident.”

“Is there a story?” Eddie asked, looking up from the menu.

“Nothing really worth sharing,” she shrugged. “I’d just been assigned this older woman named Doris as my supervisor. The first shift was hellish, though I can’t remember if it was because of the patients or how unused to it I was. But Doris brought in pizza to the ward’s nurse’s lounge for dinner and I can’t remember ever tasting anything as good. Just cheese, sauce, and dough, but I still remember it.”

Evan didn’t have to have ever had pizza to realize that Maddie’s memory wasn’t of the pizza, but the compassion and community she’d gotten with the other nurses on the ward that night. Something that the Buckleys had never given their children.

“Where do you start?”

“With cheese,” Eddie said bluntly. “Seriously, why are we looking at these? We’re not getting anything fancy.”

“Just the basics?” the waitress asked with a laugh in her voice as she set down the drinks.

“Cheese, sauce, and dough,” Maddie replied. “Make it extra-large, though. I think these guys can pack it away.”

The waitress nodded, “they always can. And never gain a pound!”

“It’s a travesty.” Maddie agreed, “a real crime.”

Eddie bumped Evan’s shoulder while they all giggled.

The door chimed and Evan could feel the blood rush from his face as he saw the man who walked through the door.

“Evan, what is it?”

Eddie turned him bodily away from the door. “What did you see?”

“My dad,” Evan whispered.

“How did he find us?” Maddie frowned, but Eddie just shrugged as he pulled his phone, already dialing Athena.

Evan wanted to turn to the wall display and ignore his father. He’d been assured by Will and Athena that he didn’t have to have anything to do with his parents if he didn’t want to. But the desperate despair of waking up in that hospital room three years ago, of the needle bruising his arm the night before, of not even being offered a chair at the table in the doctors’ office was much stronger than the so much more recent memory of the safety he’d found with Athena.

Philip Buckley stood at the head of the table and cleared his throat. “I’d like to talk to you, Evan.”

Evan gave a jerky nod but didn’t move. Though even if he could, Eddie’s hand on his gripping hard enough to bruise would have kept him in his seat.

His dad cleared his throat again, “perhaps we could speak privately?”

“No,” Eddie bit out. “Whatever you want to say to Evan can be said right at this table. In public. Where he can have witnesses.”

Philip flushed. “There’s no need for that.”

“We can all be civilized, right?” Maddie glanced between their father and the boys’ booth. “He just wants a conversation.”

Evan tended to consider his parents as these overwhelmingly powerful enemies he was locked in a struggle with. If it were fiction, he’d likely be locked in a battle to the death with their chosen champion. Like a boss fight, he couldn’t escape them without their total defeat.

But that wasn’t right at all.

“LAPD might not have enough evidence to press charges, but we’re not stupid,” Eddie snarled. “You’ve already tried once to kidnap Evan. What is stopping you from trying again?”

“Well,” Philip tugged down the cuffs of his shirt and jacket, “he’s still here, so it obviously didn’t work.”

“But why?” Maddie asked. “Why would you do that?”

They were just people. Desperate, fearful, people who had leveraged their money and names to provide their son with all the tools and resources he needed to survive. Evan was just one more resource at their hand for Daniel’s survival.

Except, of course, that he had survived.

“Why else?” Evan said quietly, “to save Daniel. He’s dying. The doctors have been saying so for months. It’ll take a miracle for him to survive the damage done to his body.”

“But we can give him a few more months with a new lung!” Philip gestured wildly. “It’s your brother Evan!”

“It’s also his body.” Eddie’s voice rang with a type of steel Evan hadn’t heard before. “It’s his body and in California, it’s his choice. Which was the whole point behind the kidnapping attempt, wasn’t it? You wouldn’t need to worry about consent if you could have someone kidnap him and drag him across state or even country lines.”

“I know that Daniel is sick, but you can’t expect Evan to live the rest of his life on tap for Daniel. He- he has a right to say no, Dad.” Maddie reached out desperately for a man who was never going to listen. “Donating a lung could severely impact Evan’s quality of life.”

“Daniel’s quality of life is already being affected!” Philip’s voice rose before he caught it and, with a grimace, brought it back to the socially acceptable volume. “What do I have to do to get you to agree to donating your lung, Evan? What- do you want money? I’ll give you whatever you want.”

“Dad. Don’t do this. Maybe it’s just Daniel’s time-“

Maddie didn’t get to finish her response before Philip had reached out and slapped her. In the stunned silence of the pizzeria, none of them noticed the door chime as the police entered.

“Sir,” Athena stalked forward with a scowl, “you’re under arrest.”

Philip blinked at her. “What?”

“You just hit this young woman in public.” Athena scowled, “that’s assault. Disorderly conduct.” She considered his eyes. “Are you on something?”

“No.” Philip shook his head, “No. I- I don’t know what came over me.”

“Well, you can figure it out down at the station.” She turned to her partner. “Jamison, read Mr. Buckley his rights.”

Eddie had slid out of the booth and displaced Evan’s unicorn to gently palpate the growing red spot across Maddie’s cheek.

“Should I call 9-1-1?” Evan bit his lip. “For an ambulance?”

“No,” Eddie said after a moment. “I don’t think it needs more than ice.”

“Of course,” Athena muttered, “x-rays and hospital records go far as evidence in petitions for restraining orders.”

“Wait! Wait! Wait!” Philip shouted as he was tugged out of the pizza parlor. “This wasn’t- this wasn’t the plan!”

“Sir, we need to go.” Jamison repeated firmly as he tugged on Philip Buckley’s arm.

“No. No. I was supposed to ask Evan, for Daniel.”

“I think you’ve done enough harm here.” Athena scowled, pointing to the door. “You’ve certainly asked enough of Evan for the next eternity.”

“No, not about this.” Philip shook his head. “Daniel wants to see Evan. Within the next few days. He’s been listening to those stupid doctors and is convinced that he needs to apologize for something. He insisted that I find him and ask him to visit.”

“And instead you harassed him and Maddie about donating a lung.” Eddie huffed. “You’re such an asshole.”

Athena jerked her head towards the waiting cop car. “Sounds like you’re not wanted here. Get out.”

Maddie blinked, moisture gathering in her eyes from what was bound to be both reflexive and not-so-reflexive tears. “He’s never hit me before.”

“But he’s always been capable of it,” Athena said gently as she took a seat and pulled out her notepad. “He was party of drugging his own son so that doctors could steal his kidney.”

“He was also more than willing to have Evan kidnapped.” Eddie pointed out, reaching out a hand when he shivered at the memory of that terror. “Even if it’s only one or two incidents; those aren’t incidents like eating a chocolate bar and forgetting to pay for it or double parking at Walmart. This is some serious, nasty shit.”

“Thanks for that, Eddie.”

“No problem.”

Maddie blew into her napkin and was quiet for a moment. “It didn’t hurt as much when Mom slapped me. I think because she’d never really been my mom. She’d been Daniel’s, and as far as she was concerned, there was no room in her life for a child other than Daniel.”

“Dad was the one who cared,” Evan finally added. If either of the senior Buckleys cared, then it was definitely Philip, for whatever value that had. “He was the one who looked in at night or would listen to the stories I drew pictures about. He gave me my first real novel. I think it hurts more because you never expected it.”

“But you did.” Maddie took a deep breath. “When did you learn you couldn’t trust them?”

“Mom, I never trusted.” Evan shrugged. “She’d been telling me for years by the time of the kidney transplant that my body didn’t belong to me. It wasn’t a stretch to learn she didn’t care about me as more than spare parts.”

“Evan, no! You’ve never been spare parts!”

Evan sighed. He didn’t have the energy to deal with his sister’s myopic fairytale perspective. He didn’t know who she was trying to trick; he knew better—experience had been a bitter teacher—and she should know better. She was the one taking his custody. “That’s all I’ve ever been to our parents.”

“Well, you don’t have to worry about that now.” Eddie said, “we certainly don’t think of you that way.”

Athena leaned around Eddie, “what do you think about Philip’s request?”

“To basically sell my lung?” He shuddered, “no. I don’t have to think about it. I don’t ever want to think about it.”

“And you don’t need to.” Eddie squeezed his shoulder. “But I think she meant the request to visit Daniel.”

“What should I do about it?”

Everyone paused for food as the pizza was put on the table and drinks were refilled.

The waitress hesitated, “if you’re filing charges, Stacy and I agreed to provide witness statements, if you need.”

Athena smiled, “that’s kind of you girls.”

The young woman nodded. “No one deserves to be hit like that.”

“I agree.” Athena offered her notepad, “why don’t you write down Stacy’s and your contact information and if we need your statements, I’ll call you.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Maddie pressed the cold bag of ice to her face. “Maybe I should go to the hospital.”

“At least they’d probably give you something stronger than Tylenol.” Eddie offered as he reached over for a slice. “Athena, are you staying for lunch?”

“If I’m welcome.”

“Always,” Evan hurried to say. “Besides, we’ve got to reward the lady who jumped to our rescue like a knight.”

Athena smirked. “You didn’t answer. What do you think about visiting your brother?”

“I should want to, right? I mean, the doctors will be right, eventually. Daniel will die and it will be my fault.”

Eddie made some sort of loud noise and gesticulated wildly, nearly getting both Athena and Maddie covered in cheese and sauce.

“I think,” Athena said snorting, “Eddie’s rightfully calling that a load of bullshit.”

“It’s not bullshit,” Evan insisted, “it’s the objective truth. Daniel is dying, I have the ability to save him. And I’m still going to say no.”

“First, that’s not the truth at all.” Eddie coughed, grabbing a handful of napkins. “Daniel has cancer. Cancer is killing him.”

“Second,” Athena interrupted while Eddie tried not to die. “You don’t have the ability to save him. Doctors from across the country that have spent decades doing cancer research and treating patients have all said the same thing – No matter what treatment or organ donation, Daniel’s body is shutting down. That can’t be stopped.”

“And that won’t change just because you donated a lung,” Maddie admitted. “It’s hard to admit that Daniel’s really at the end of his life, but he is. And it’s not going to change no matter how much we want it to.”

“I still feel guilty.” Evan said, picking at the chipped Formica at the edge of the table. “I’m not going to do it. Donate another organ. I never want to end up on an operating table again. I woke up in that bed with a hole in my body that can’t be filled and I- I’m not going to do it again.”

“You don’t have to,” Eddie promised, sliding the drinks and plates out of the way to grasp his hand.

“But everyone will know.” Evan laid his head down next to his plate with the barely touched pizza. “Everyone will know that I refused to donate my lung and they’ll look at me differently.”

“Who?” Athena demanded. “Me, Michael, and May are behind you 110%. No one should make decisions about your body but you. Eddie will know, Maddie will know, maybe Isabel and Edmundo Diaz. Pepa if you tell her. But we’re all on your side, sweetheart.”

“Uncle Jasper,” Maddie listed with a frown, “but he genuinely doesn’t want you to donate again.”

“Mom and Dad will know.” Even after years of being practically disposable, Evan still ached for their approval. “They’ll hate me for it.”

“Maybe,” Eddie agreed quietly, “but you can’t earn their love on the operating table. You already know that.”

Evan did know that and it was the hardest thing he’d ever learned.

“Doctors will know you donated a kidney,” Maddie said slowly. “Teachers and peers only need to know that Daniel died of Leukemia. It’s a nasty disease, no one will be surprised.”

“Depending on your career, some of your future bosses might know that you were an organ donor.” Eddie continued the list, “but most people will back off once they see you’re uncomfortable talking about it.”

“And you never have to be comfortable talking about it,” Athena piped in. “You will never be required to share more than the bare minimum. So, make sure that you’re making this decision for your own reasons and not because of what some hypothetical person years in the future might think about a thing they’ll probably never learn.”

Evan didn’t say anything, just let quiet take the table as they ate pizza that sat like lead in his stomach. At least he had water, instead of whatever sickeningly sweet syrup and fizz the others were drinking. He wasn’t even sure that he was tasting his meal.

But he was thinking about what they’d said. How sincerely they’d all felt that this decision to see Daniel was his alone. And that the decision to not donate was more than just his right. It was the right choice.

Daniel was dying. The words stuck in his mind like tar on the sole of his sneaker. It was a refrain he’d heard most of his life. It was the excuse for not going to the movies, the sports arena, the museum.

Oh, it hadn’t been that blunt. But everything in the Buckley household had revolved around Daniel’s illness and Daniel’s desires. Or maybe, Evan considered a little more objectively, perhaps their lives had revolved more around what Margaret wanted for Daniel, than anything else.

The Matriarch of the Buckley family had been a chilly but dominating presence in the house in Hershey. And she had this habit of repeating things until she had you convinced they were true.

Now, Evan had to figure out how to unbelieve it. Which, honestly, sounded like a problem for his counselor.

“I’m not sure I like pizza.”

Athena hummed, “too greasy?”

“We won’t badger you about it,” Eddie frowned at the pie on the table, “but I’d appreciate it if you could give it another shot at a later date.”

“I think maybe the conversation ruined the meal more than the meal itself,” Maddie offered.

“Yeah, okay.” Evan took another slice from the plate in the middle. They weren’t wrong, even if pizza would always be associated with Philip smacking Maddie. “I think I’m going to go.”

“To visit Daniel?” Maddie clarified.

“Yeah,” Evan shrugged. “I don’t think he could say anything to make me change my mind, and I’ll call Will to see about making sure Mom and Dad aren’t there, but I think- I think maybe I’m stupid, but if Daniel wants to apologize, I want to give him the chance.”

“That’s not stupid at all, Evan,” Eddie reassured. “You’ve got a big heart, even for the other Buckleys. I can’t say I would have done it, but I’m not you.”

“What would you have done?” Maddie asked quietly.

“I ran.” Eddie admitted with a grimace pretending to be a smile. “Or at least I tried to. My family is nowhere near the level of nightmare fuel Philip and Margaret Buckley are, but I can’t say I would be sad if I never heard from them again. They’re suffocating. None of my choices are good enough unless they’re their choices for my life and even when I give in, they’re still not happy with how I go about it.” He shrugged, “So I joined the Army and put down on my paperwork that I’d be happy to move to Alaska and they stationed me at Fort Bliss.”

Athena choked laughing and Eddie offered the Buckley siblings a self-deprecating smile. “Fort Bliss is literally like five minutes from El Paso.”

Evan understood. Maybe better than anyone wanted to. “Yeah. My attempt to run away didn’t work either.”

Eddie gave him an incredulous look, “You ended up in an operating theater minus a kidney. I just have to deal with the fact I’m too much of a wuss to tell my mother no to Sunday mass.”

Maddie patted Eddie’s arm as she shoved more napkins at him. “I should be looking for three bedrooms then.”

Athena laughed, her smile was warm and the arm she wrapped around him was wonderful. “I’m proud of you kid. And we’ll be there every step of the way.”

***

Part Five: Sunday, March 15, 2009

The door to the patio slid open and Evan stood in the frame. His hair was more blond, his skin had a healthy blush, and his eyes had a spark Daniel wasn’t sure he’d ever seen before. He looked good. It was -it was good to see he was doing better.

“Would you join me?” Daniel bit his lip, gestured to the bench beside him. “I know it’s not comfortable, but we don’t have to stay long. I just- I’ve just been enjoying the breeze.”

It took a long moment for his brother to decide what he would do, but Daniel tried to be patient. It had never been his strong suit, but he understood better how cruel his impatience had been over the years. Evan deserved to make his own choices.

“Dad said you wanted to speak to me.” Evan took the seat next to him; farther away than Daniel wanted, but closer than he’d thought he would get.

He grimaced, “I did. I heard that didn’t go well, though.”

Evan played with the frayed cord of his hoodie. “He hit Maddie. Because he didn’t like what she said.”

It hurt, somewhere in his chest, to hear that. It wasn’t surprising. Not after how he’d watched Philip and Margaret the last week or so. They were nowhere near as stable as they pretended. But Daniel knew it had to hurt Evan and Maddie just as much as it had hurt him.

“Is she going to press charges?”

“No, but she still filed a police report. Got a hospital record too.” Evan shrugged, uneasy. “Might make it easier to get a restraining order. Later.”

Daniel nodded, palming his chest. He’d spent most of his life with a fatal illness and this was the most painful moment Daniel could remember. Nothing was as he’d thought it was growing up. Not his relationship with Evan, not his relationship with his parents, and not Evan’s relationship with their parents. It hurt.

But it was like cramps that made you vomit instead of nausea that just lingered for days. It was a clean hurt, a hurt that would heal.

“Did you know I never thought of myself as a bad person?” Daniel spoke into the quiet. “I was selfish, self-centered, and egotistical. I acted like the world revolved around me; as though everything happened because of what I wanted. I thought that I would live because I’d never wanted something and not gotten it. Mom and Dad were always right there, making it happen. I never really thought I would die from this.”

“I don’t think you’re a bad person, Daniel,” Evan said quietly. “A jerk maybe, but you never went out of your way to be mean. It just happened.”

“That’s an awfully low bar, Evan.” He pointed out without turning, his gaze on the horizon as the day got darker. “And let’s be honest, when it came to you, I wasn’t just mean, I was criminal.”

“You didn’t break the law, Daniel.”

“Maybe not,” he agreed, “but I know Mom and Dad have. That they bribed people to keep quiet, to ignore what they saw, to ignore the abuse they heaped on you. They tried to have you kidnapped.”

Evan didn’t say anything, but that was okay. They both knew it was true.

“You asked, last time you were here, if Mom and Dad would kill you first or just cut out your heart and let you bleed out.” Daniel took a deep breath, his chest ached, moisture built on the edges of his eyes. “It was a disgusting and disturbing thought, and I hated you for putting it in my head. Because once it was there, I couldn’t deny that it was possible. More than possible, really. It might have happened if they’d succeeded in kidnapping you.

“It’s horrifying to think that maybe even now, they’d be telling me some thinly veiled line about a donor and your disappearance. Or maybe you would have had an accident, and it was a silver lining out of an awful situation that I could have your heart and lungs.”

“I never thought it was what you wanted,” Evan remarked. “I really never thought you wanted me dead. You’d just… “

“Never thought about it,” Daniel finished when his brother didn’t. “I didn’t think about it until I had to. Once I did, it was like- it was like a light turning on when I hadn’t realized how dark the room had gotten.”

“Mom and Dad, they’re really good at convincing people that what they say is the truth,” Evan offered. “You trusted them. You never had to wonder if you should.”

“Did you ever trust them?” He asked his brother, heart aching with the pain he already expected. “Or did you always know that they’d never put you first?”

“Those are two different things, you know.” Evan said after a moment. “I never thought they would put me first, but I didn’t expect them to go to the extremes that they did.”

“Like when I needed your kidney.”

“Yeah.”

Things were quiet for a long time as Daniel just sat in the presence of his brother. He’d always loved Evan. It was a selfish, unconsidered love, though. The kind that said this was his brother, so of course Daniel loved him.

Maddie, Daniel had known. She’d been sweet and quiet, capable of keeping herself entertained for hours where Daniel always needed attention. Her favorite color was pink. She’d always wanted to be a nurse. She’d never broken a bone. Maddie hadn’t lived with the family for almost four years, and Daniel could still see her smile when he closed his eyes. He could still hear her laugh echo in the silence.

He didn’t know Evan’s. And he probably never would.

“I love you, Evan.” His breath caught in his throat and his chest ached. “I asked Dad to find you, to ask you to visit because I wanted to tell you I was sorry. Sorry that I didn’t see how much the leukemia was killing you right along with me.”

The world had grown dim and as he turned his hand toward Evan’s, he was so grateful to feel his brother’s fingers in his. “You didn’t deserve anything Mom and Dad did to you. You’re so much more than they ever told you.”

He blinked wide to catch sight of Evan’s frown, the wrinkle between his brows. The tears blurred Daniel’s vision, and he knew his brother was speaking, but he couldn’t make out the words. “I love you, Evan. It’s not your fault. I want you to be happy.”

The world around him grew strangely dim as Daniel could hear the tap-tap of a cane on the stone walkway. His gentleman stranger was rounding the corner from the path to the beach and he greeted Daniel with a smile.

“All ready to go?”

“Yeah. I think so.” Daniel nodded, leveraging himself up to take the older man’s hand. He hesitated. “Will it hurt?”

“Not at all,” he assured Daniel, “and I’ll be with you every step of the way.”

Daniel took the offered hand with a tight grip. He refused to look back. “I want them to be okay.”

“They will be.” Death promised, “Your brother and your sister have good lives ahead of them. Not easy ones. No one is promised an easy life, but good ones. Lives full of passion and love and the determination to continue.”

“Good. That’s good. I love them.”

“They know it, Daniel. I promise.”

***

“I love you, Evan.”

Evan had to blink back tears. He didn’t think he’d ever heard anyone but Maddie tell him they loved him. The thought had never even crossed his mind that Daniel might say those words to him. It’d been a forgone conclusion for years that their parents genuinely didn’t love him.

Athena might, Evan figured. But they hadn’t known each other long, and it wasn’t a thing, right? Foster parents didn’t tell their foster children they loved them. Foster children weren’t like biological children.

And, well, Evan had more than enough experience to prove that sometimes love wasn’t between biological parents and their kids either. Evan might have been a special case, born as he was to provide his brother spare parts, but he’d seen enough to know that Philip and Margaret Buckley hadn’t loved Maddie either.

“I asked Dad to find you,” Daniel was saying. His voice sounded off. The consonants not so sharp, slurring, Evan thought with a frown. “To ask you to visit because I wanted to tell you I was sorry.” His speech was slurring heavily now, and Evan turned to his brother, concerned. “Sorry, that I didn’t see how much the leukemia was killing you right along with me.”

“Daniel, where’s your alert button?” Evan knelt before him, searching between the edges of his gown and the sides of the chair. Even in remission, their mother had never left Daniel alone without an alert button. “Daniel, where’s the button?”

“You didn’t deserve anything Mom and Dad did to you.” Tears slid down Daniel’s face as his gaze drifted out of focus and Evan heaved in a breath as panic thrummed through his nerves. He shifted the blankets and the gown, pulled at Daniel’s slippers and socks. “You’re so much more than they ever told you.”

The button fell with a clack on the cement paver and Evan lunged for it. “I love you, Evan. It’s not your fault. I want you to be happy.”

It had been a while since Evan had bothered learning how to care for his brother. Probably just around the kidney theft—God, did everything go back to that hell-damned period of his life?—when he’d learned exactly how little his plans and desires counted for in the Buckley family.

Panic and muscle memory apparently could carry him a long way, though. Evan was already lifting Daniel, already arranging him on the cement, already pressing sure hands to his chest, by the time he heard the alert tone ringing from the nurse’s station.

There was a rhythm he was supposed to be pressing to. But he’d forgotten it.

There was a count he was supposed to be stopping for. He didn’t know what it was.

Evan just pressed hard and fast down on his brother’s chest.

1-2-3-4. 1-2-3-4.

It sometimes took a while to get enough kinetic energy moving to restart the heart. It only took 4 minutes to starve the brain of oxygen.

Evan couldn’t remember when he was supposed to breathe.

The nurse in blue scrubs, Bridger scrawled on a name tag written with crayon, slid to his knees across from Evan. “How many? How long?”

“I don’t- I don’t know.” Evan could feel the tears pool over and down his cheeks, the hitch in his breath he couldn’t pay attention to.

He just had to keep going. 1-2-3-4. 1-2-3-4.

“Shift,” Bridger demanded, the leads for the AED unit in hand.

A second nurse in pink scrubs with elephants slid in beside, hands already arranged to take over. Evan sat back, and she took over.

He sat back. He scooted clear of the nurses, the AED unit, and his brother’s body. He scooted clear of the medical staff, who were shouting about timing and cc’s and medication types.

Evan watched from a corner out of the way as they pressed Daniel’s chest up and down, up and down, up and down. He wasn’t breathing on his own.

There was a clatter of footsteps. Dr. Daine and Dr. Bachman slid through the door, barking questions that Evan couldn’t focus on. He had no attention to give the medical staff because right after the doctors had come his parents.

Margaret Buckley wailed at the sight of her oldest son on the cement. She lunged for him, screaming Daniel’s name, as Philip caught her around the waist and pulled her back into the hospital room. He was whispering something in her hair. Giving her some sort of comfort, though Evan didn’t know what it was.

What comfort was there in the death of a family member? Even one he was at odds with?

Dr. Bachman was shaking his head, leaning back from the body as the medical staff slumped. “I’m calling it. He’s gone. Time of death?”

“3:45 pm, March 11, 2009.”

Evan was watching. The sorrow hanging in the air was real. The respect the medical staff used as they moved around Daniel’s body was genuine. The Buckleys might have been pains in the ass, but no one at this clinic had wanted to see Daniel dead.

Margaret lunged for the body and this time Philip wasn’t strong enough to hold her back. Daniel had been the hallmark of her existence for 22 years. It wasn’t going to suddenly switch off. She slid to the cement and scrambled closer to gather up the love of her life in her arms. Wailing, screaming, her pain to the heavens, drowning in her own grief and sorrow.

A gentle nudge to Evan’s shoulder directed his attention to the nurse Bridger standing just to the side with a hand extended. Evan took it. He let the other man gently direct him in an alternative route. A way he could avoid his parents for just a moment.

Evan didn’t know what was going to happen next. Daniel had been such a defining factor of his life. Even these past few weeks he’d escaped from his parents’ custody, Evan didn’t know what to do. Wasn’t sure what life could look like without Daniel in it.

“Can I call someone for you?” Bridger asked quietly, handing over a small cup of chilled water. Margaret Buckley’s grief was surprisingly quiet in the seating area in front of the nurses’ station.

Evan blinked. A call? Who did he call? Was he supposed to call someone? Was that his job, letting people know? He looked down at his phone. His most recent contact was Eddie.

His phone was dialing before he knew he’d made a decision.

“Evan? Something wrong?”

“Daniel- Daniel’s dead.” His breath hitched and then a sob he didn’t even know had been building was bursting from him. It wasn’t his mother’s screaming grief; not his father’s silent tears, either. It was a wobbling, hitching quiet sob. “Can you- Can you- Can you come?”

“Of course, Evan.” Eddie was saying, some discussion going on in the background that Evan couldn’t pay attention to. “I’ll stay on the phone. You won’t be alone. We won’t leave you alone with this.”

***

Maddie had known somehow, when Eddie’s face had fallen, when he’d taken a deep breath and coached her brother through his grief; she’d known Daniel was dead.

It sank like a stone in her gut. Daniel was gone.

Those dreams Maddie had held secret even from herself, of seeing her brother on that trip her parents had always promised. It was never going to happen.

It hurt.

Even confronting Daniel over his entitlement to Evan’s body hadn’t actually prepared her for the truth. Daniel was dead.

Seeing Evan sitting on a bench outside the nurse’s station like his world had ended, and he didn’t know what to do next—that was worse.

“Evan.” Maddie jogged the short distance further, “are you alright?”

He blinked up at her vaguely and she bit her lip. Of course, he wasn’t alright. She wasn’t either. Eddie had driven for a reason. Tears blurred her vision.

“Daniel’s gone.”

“I know.” Maddie wiped away at her face, smearing her makeup, but she couldn’t be bothered to care. Daniel was dead. Her breath hitched. “Have you seen Mom and Dad yet?”

Evan cast a look back towards the hospital suite Daniel had stayed in. “They’re still with him.”

She wanted to see them, but even down the hall, Maddie could hear the sobs and wails of their mother mourning. They wouldn’t want to see her now.

Eddie grabbed the box of tissues at the desk, pulling a few to try to clean up Evan’s face a bit for him. Dabbing ineffectually at his damp cheeks and running the tail of the tissue over his nose -back and forth, back and forth. For a couple of minutes, Evan sat numbly and let his friend ineffectually dry his tears before he seemed to realize what was happening. Evan turned on his friend with a scowl, Eddie just offered an obnoxious grin.

Maddie still didn’t understand their relationship. Objectively, they hadn’t known each other long, and hadn’t spent much time together. And yet it was Eddie that Evan had called when in shock. It was Eddie who had broken through to her heart sore brother. It was Eddie he reached for.

“He apologized.” Evan said quietly into Eddie’s shirt, grip tight enough that the man could barely move. “He said he was sorry, that he loved me, that it wasn’t my fault.”

“Oh Evan,” Eddie looked wrecked. His own eyes were full of sorrow, his lips pressed tightly together to stop the tremble. “Of course it wasn’t your fault.”

“What did you just say?” Margaret Buckley hissed from behind them.

Maddie turned and regretted it. Her father was just as numb and shocked as Evan, but Margaret looked like something feral. Her lips parted to show the tips of her teeth and crying had left her eyes bloodshot and wild.

Margaret marched over to Evan and Eddie. “What did you just claim Daniel said?!”

Maddie cast her gaze around, but the hall was empty. Now would be a great time for a random security walk through. Or Athena, with her surprisingly great timing. Maddie would even take one of the nurses. Her mother looked like one wrong step from going over the edge in her grief, but there wasn’t anyone in the hall other than the Buckleys and Eddie.

Evan blinked at his mother. Took a deep breath and moved out from the comfort of Eddie’s arms. “Daniel said it wasn’t my fault. That he loved me. That he was sorry.”

“Not your fault?” Margaret loomed over her son, tension in every inch of her body. “He was sorry?”

Evan straightened under Margaret’s incredulity and Maddie wished uselessly that he hadn’t learned to stand up for himself recently. They’d never won with their mother. Everything went smoother if they just let it blow over.

“It was why he wanted to see me. To apologize.”

Margaret lashed out with fingers curved like claws as she screamed at her son. “You lie! You lie! Daniel would never!”

Eddie, braced behind Evan, scrambled to get them out of the line of fire, but Margaret just followed—crawling—right after them. Her nails scratching against the linoleum.

“Apologize to you? You failed! It’s your fault he died! It’s your fault! It’s your fault he’s gone!”

Maddie stared, too stunned to realize what was going on. She’d never seen her mother anything like this before. For a second Maddie didn’t move, but Eddie yelled and Evan gasped and Maddie had to do something. Quickly, she rounded the nurses’ desk, scrambling through the books and paperwork for the hardline. Every nurses’ station had one. The line to security should be right—there!

“Security,” the voice answered, but Maddie dropped the phone because Margaret had cornered them against a wall and her hands were going to Evan’s throat. Eddie’s eyes were panicked. He was stuck between the corner wall and Evan’s flailing body, pinned further into place by Margaret leaning in and pressing down on Evan’s throat.

Philip stood and stared like he couldn’t be bothered to watch his wife murder his son. Maddie didn’t feel bad at all about slamming into him. Momentum was a great thing.

“You don’t deserve it! You can’t live if Daniel dies!” Margaret was screaming, nails tearing at Evan’s throat, the combined effort of the two boys had kept her from killing Evan, but the bruising was going to be bad and blood had started to seep from torn skin.

Maddie wrapped her arms around Margaret’s waist and tried to heave back like she’d been taught in the ER. Of course, she’d never had to use those lessons before. Eddie finally found purchase against the slick floor and lashed out with a kick to her shoulder. It didn’t move Margaret far, not with Maddie attached to her back, just shoving them both enough to get both the boys some air. But fortunately or unfortunately, Margaret hadn’t been paying attention to their surroundings so whereas Maddie omphed upon hitting the door frame, Margaret met it with a crack.

She didn’t move.

Maddie panted. Eddie scrambled to stand, an obstacle against whatever insanity Margaret’s broken mind attempted next. Maddie heard the clatter of nurses running from further down the ward and security slamming through the doors.

“What happened?” Dr. Bachman stared in horror. Maddie had to admit they weren’t looking their best.

“He can’t. He can’t live.” Margaret had started to mumble against the cold floor. “He can’t live if Daniel’s dead.”

Maddie had heard enough. Her parents had done enough. It was her turn to step up to the plate.

She blew her bangs away from her face. “Dr. Bachman, does the ward have security cameras?”

“Yes, of course,” the doctor nodded. “Only passive monitoring, though.”

Which was much better than the alternative, that security either wasn’t paying attention, or didn’t care.

“Someone should call the police.” Eddie finally said, clearing his throat. “Margaret Buckley attempted to kill her son.”

Maddie took a deep breath. “We’re going to be pressing charges.”

***

“Well,” Detective Rosario said as he came to a stop outside the nurses’ station to take a look around. “This is a fucking mess.”

Athena snorted involuntarily, but Rosario wasn’t wrong. There was still blood on the floor, just a few spots, not even enough for a bloody nose, but the seating had been disheveled and no one had bothered fixing it yet. Her kids were in a room on the left of the hall and through the glass it looked like all three were a mess. Mr. and Mrs. Buckley were in a room on the right side of the hall. It appeared that Margaret Buckley had been restrained.

Security was still lingering in the hall near the doors and inside both the in-use hospital rooms. The nurses had the frayed and frazzled nerves Athena had last seen on hostages taken during a bank robbery.

It was certainly looking like a mess.

Rosario walked up to the nurses’ station and leaned against the desk. “Bridger, can you tell me what happened?”

The man took a deep breath and folded trembling fingers together. “I don’t know the whole story. There was a point of several minutes where the only ones in the hall were the Buckleys and Mr. Diaz.”

“Any video recording?” Athena asked. The cameras were as discreet as a facility that regularly treated multimillionaires could get. But they were still there.

Bridger nodded, “the Security Office is handling it now.”

“Okay,” Rosario nodded, “then just tell us what you know.”

“Daniel Buckley died of cardiac arrest at 3:45pm this afternoon. His brother set off his medical alert button and was doing some decent compressions when we arrived on the scene.” He took a breath. “After several attempts to resuscitate him using both drugs and an AED, Dr. Bachman called the time of death. Mrs. Buckley did not handle it well at all.”

“What do you mean?” Athena gently prodded when the nurse seemed to hesitate to continue.

Bridger shrugged. “She lost her mind. Screaming, wailing, and grabbing for the body. It took us almost an hour to get her to release Daniel so that we could begin to prep the body. Even then she watched and muttered to her husband the entire time.”

Odd, but not actually all that uncommon. Grief and shock had a way of breaking the mind, even on just a temporary basis.

“Eventually, we managed to get her out of the room to finish procedures. I don’t know exactly what happened while it was just the Buckleys, but we arrived at the disturbance to see Mr. Buckley standing off to the side in shock and Mrs. Buckley assaulting her son. Screaming again.”

Rosario frowned. “What does that mean?”

Bridger hesitated. “I’m not educated for that type of assessment. I’m not a doctor and I don’t work in a psych ward; but off the record? It seems like Mrs. Buckley genuinely lost her mind.”

“Do you think this is a long term issue or something that she’ll recover from?”

“I’m not in psychology,” he frowned.

“No,” Athena agreed, “but you’ve worked in oncology for a long time. You know how people react to grief and shock. Off the record, what do you think of Margaret Buckley’s behavior?”

Bridger leaned on the desk and considered the question. “I think she’s been on the edge of a mental breakdown longer than either senior Buckley would be willing to admit. Grief comes in all shapes and sizes, but her grief is overwhelming. Paired with her ruthlessly mercenary attitude towards Evan and the overly meticulous and painstaking way she micromanaged Daniel’s health—I think she and Philip have probably been fighting to keep her sane for years.” Bridger hummed, “just a guess, but probably since Daniel was diagnosed.”

Athena shared a disturbed look with the Detective. It wasn’t as though they were unaware that Philip and Margaret were capable of violence. They’d drugged their son to force an organ donation. They’d arranged an attempted kidnapping that was going to leave Evan dead, most likely. And Philip Buckley had spent the majority of yesterday afternoon and evening in general lock up for slapping his daughter in the face.

It genuinely sounded like Margaret Buckley’s mind had broken at the death of Daniel. And that was some genuine shit because they were going to get away with a murder attempt. They were going to plead temporary insanity because of a mental break due to the stress of their son’s condition and the shock of his death. And it would work.

“Thanks, Bridger.” Rosario said, stepping away from the desk.

The nurse shrugged with a wry grin. “Still not a psychiatrist.”

Athena followed the detective away from the desk. “This is a whole load of bullshit.”

“I know,” Rosario sighed, “but think of it this way, there’s no judge in the county that’s going to release Evan’s custody to parents that have attempted to murder him.”

“Silver linings.” She jerked her head towards the room with her kids. “I’m going to go check on them. Unless you need me?”

Rosario shrugged. “I’m off to see how forthcoming the parents are. Save trying to rattle them for when we’re all a little more certain of their mental state. I’ll be in later for your kids’ statements.”

Athena shooed him away with a grin.

A grin that died shortly after stepping into the hospital room where Evan, Eddie, and Maddie had taken shelter.

The nurse was carefully articulating Evan’s arm, moving it gently to check his range of motion. The shock was the bruising that was already blooming on Evan’s arms, neck, and face. Scratches were still open and weeping a little on his face, and the amount of damage was stunning. Eddie was no better. His lip was bleeding, his cheek was swollen, and Maddie was standing just behind his chair holding a bag of ice against his skull. The scratches on his arms had already been covered, but given the amount of gauze wrapping around them, it had not been a minor injury.

Maddie, one hand full of ice and the other full of her phone, had come out of the encounter the best that Athena could see, but she was still decidedly disheveled and visibly trembling.

“Oh, sweethearts. You all look horrible.”

“They’ve definitely been through the wars.” The nurse grinned tightly. “You’re Evan’s guardian, right?”

“Yes.” Athena cleared her throat. “Evan’s more than old enough to agree or decline any medical services, though.”

The nurse huffed, “Oh, he’s already exercised it. Didn’t agree to any sort of testing that would take him out of the room.”

“He’s just survived an assault by a family member,” Athena said dryly. “I wouldn’t want to leave my companions either.” She turned to Evan, wincing at the swelling that was coming up around his throat. Not as bad as she’d seen before, but not anything she’d ever wanted to see on her baby. “It does look bad, though, Evan.”

“He shouldn’t be talking.” The nurse interrupted with a frown. “The swelling will impact everything in his throat from his vocal cords to his trachea and his esophagus. He really does need to get scanned.”

Athena considered her boy. “Detective Rosario is just across the hall with Margaret and Philip. If I come with you to the test, then Maddie can stay with Eddie and everyone will still have a buddy. Would that work?”

Evan shot a glance over his shoulder to his sister, still on the phone, and his Eddie, who’d closed his eyes and leaned back, waved a gauze wrapped hand. It appeared enough for Evan. He turned back and nodded.

“Okay, baby,” Athena said, gently helping him off the bed as the nurse brought in a wheelchair. “Time for some nasty tests.”

***

Diego Rosario had dealt with some fucked up shit over the years. As a detective in LA he’d thought he’d seen it all, millionaires killing over car crashes, druggies beaten for what was in their pockets, homeless dead in the alleys, tourists vanished without a trace. There was something about this case in particular, though, that warned him it would be a sharp memory for a good long while.

Nothing about Evan Buckley’s case was particularly unique. Criminal child abuse and neglect came in every shade under the sun. He’d arrested parents for purposefully exposing their kids to life threatening allergies. He’d arrested them for refusing their child medical care. He’d certainly arrested parents for physical violence. Buckley’s case was less clear-cut than those. More subtle.

If every case was a puzzle Rosario put together to find the truth, then the picture this puzzle showed was something horrible.

Margaret and Philip Buckley had invested so much of their lives in the survival of their oldest son that they’d practically destroyed Evan. The non-consensual organ donation was disgusting but legal as it had happened outside of California. The attempted kidnapping was not.

Rosario was a good police officer. He adhered as best he could to the law and the department policies in an attempt to protect everyone, not just the rich and the white. As a good police officer, he did his best not to harass people he couldn’t arrest. That behavior was a slippery slope. But he was also a good man. As a good man, he could regret that the law he upheld for everyone’s protection also protected the senior Buckleys.

Athena slipped into her boy’s hospital room, and even across the hall, it was easy to see through the glass wall that the boys’ conditions weren’t good. They deserved to see justice done for that.

As he opened the door to the Sr Buckley’s hospital room, Rosario could only hope that he’d get better results than earlier in the month. He walked into a wall of sound. Mr. Buckley was practically shouting at his lawyer and the expression left on Ariabella Gately’s face, the twist of her lips, the tightening at the corners of her eyes, she didn’t like what she was hearing.

Mrs. Gately held a hand to her client’s face as she spoke over his shoulder, “Detective, this is a private hospital room.”

“The memory fades fast, Mrs. Gately, you know that.” She had certainly used it to cast doubt on witnesses in the past. “It would be best if I could get the Buckleys’ statements now instead of later.”

“They have nothing to say to you.” She spat.

He reached for his cuffs, “you know the way this works, Ariabella. The assault was witnessed by six people, and if their statements aren’t enough for you, then I’ll have the hallway security footage before the end of the day.” He jingled the cuffs. “Now, the Buckleys can cooperate and probably get out on bail before we even arrive at the station, or they can be obstructionist and I can throw the book at them.”

Gately sneered and turned back to Philip Buckley standing at the foot of his wife’s bed. “I would advise you not to say anything.”

“Is this really necessary, Detective?” Philip’s voice cracked and wobbled. Far less strident than when he argued with his lawyer, which was interesting.

“Yes. This conversation will be recorded.” Rosario placed the recorder on a table equal distance between all three coherent occupants of the room. “Maddie Buckley is pressing charges and so is Eddie Diaz.”

He startled. “Maddie’s pressing charges? Why?”

“By all accounts, Margaret Buckley attempted to kill her son.” Rosario stared at Philip and wondered if both senior Buckleys were going to end up in white padded rooms.

“She’s not herself,” Philip said quietly, “With- with- with Daniel gone-“ his eyes filled with tears and he swallowed wetly, “Daniel’s death was just too much. He was her baby boy. Her heart. Can’t you understand?”

“What I understand is that Evan Buckley was also her son. And she tried to kill him.” Rosario replied, “Bridger Charles said that when he entered the hall you were standing off to the side while your wife tried to strangle your son. Why didn’t you interfere?”

“I-“

“You don’t have to answer that Mr. Buckley.” Gately interrupted, “you’re not required to incriminate yourself at all.”

Rosario shrugged, “he doesn’t have to. Six witnesses, a video tape, medical records, and the blood and skin beneath Margaret Buckley’s fingernails. Pretty conclusive with or without Mr. Buckley’s statement.”

Both Gately and Buckley’s attention go to Margaret’s hands, tainted with spots of rusty blood and colorful bruises from where both Eddie and Maddie had scrambled to pry her off. The hospital had already taken evidence for them. The Los Angeles Clinic for Experimental Cancer Research might not have an emergency room but several of their nurses had worked in ERs previously and followed the procedure exactly.

“She didn’t mean it. She doesn’t. Daniel’s loss is just so hard. We’d have done anything for him, Maddie and Evan just don’t understand.” Philip shook his head, “he was everything to her, so unexpected. Margaret sacrificed so much to make sure Daniel survived. Maddie was planned. A child was expected from our families. Daniel was a surprise, we realized late what had happened, but it turned out to be such a wonderful surprise.”

He paused, a soft wondering smile curving the corners of his lips in a quiet smile. “He was such a miracle. When he was diagnosed with cancer and none of us were a match — Margaret would have never chosen to have another child but she still let the doctors perform the operation for Evan. For a donor sibling just for Daniel. Evan was supposed to be the answer. The cure. He’d have everything we needed to save Daniel. It’s his fault Daniel’s dead.”

“Mr. Buckley, I strongly urge you to stop talking!” Gately demanded.

“Evan was born to save his brother, and he had the audacity to say no! He shouldn’t have had a choice; should have begged us to help.” Philip Buckley ignored her, like he didn’t even hear it—like she wasn’t even there. His lips pressed together and eyes glinted like steel. Something sharp enough to cut. “Margaret was upset with Daniel’s death. She had to be sedated because she was doing harm to herself. Of course, of course, she went after Evan.”

“Of course.” Rosario repeated quietly as he clicked the recorder off in the sudden silence of the room.

Gately sighed. “I’ll see you in court, Rosario.”

“Gately.”

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Evan spun the fidget ring on his finger. He stopped it; he spun it the other way. Athena had given it to him. Evan had a habit of picking at his nails when he was nervous and she wanted a ‘healthier outlet for that energy’. He didn’t quite get it. They were just nails.

The judge gently set a steaming cup of tea at the table in front of him. “It’s just herbal. I try to stay away from caffeine. My job stresses my heart enough.”

Evan offered a smile he figured was more than a little pitiful. He took the too-hot mug in his hands and sipped for a distraction. The hot liquid was just shy of scalding, but the flavor was an intense burst of sweet and citrus that surprised like a punch in the face. He swallowed. “What- what is this?”

“Pineapple.” The judge smiled over the rim of her mug. “It’s a surprise, isn’t it?”

“Yeah.” Evan blinked and sipped again. “Total surprise.”

“Have a cookie.” She pointed to a particular kind on the plate. “I’m particularly fond of the butter ones. A mellow kind of sweet to follow up the tangy sweet of the tea.”

Evan took a bite and had to agree. It was a good choice. “Do you like moonlight as a chef or something?”

“No,” the judge shook her head with a smile. “But I’ve found that cookies and hot tea are an excellent ice breaker for people of all ages. Family court is stressful enough, and sometimes my job is to hand out decisions that people don’t like to hear. A brief break for tea and snacks can make the difference between a hard decision being awful and just being hard.”

Evan fiddled with the mug in his hand, barely noticing when the hot liquid sloshed out to splash his hand. “Do you know what you’re going to decide in my case? Are you trying to break bad news?”

“No.” She sipped the tea. “I haven’t made a decision on your case, Evan. I wanted to hear from you first.”

He took a sip of the tea, uncertain what else he was supposed to do. “What did you want to hear?”

“Do you know what you’re hoping for?” The judge asked calmly. “Do you want your custody to go to your sister?”

“Maddie is…” Evan wrinkled his nose and sighed. He placed the mug down on the coffee table, kicked off his shoes and curled up in the oversized seat she had directed him to when he’d walked in. He braced his chin on his knees. “It’s complicated.”

The judge slouched to the side, bracing her head on her fist. “Family usually is.”

“I love Maddie, but she’s all tangled up in my memory with her leaving. She left me when she went to college and she left me when we moved. I know those aren’t her fault, but I’m still mad at her for it.” Evan took a deep breath. This wasn’t the time or the place for tears. “I was in a bad place. Didn’t know how to survive what had happened. Didn’t know if I even wanted to. Parts of that year and the one after it are… foggy.” He bit his lip before admitting, “I can’t remember them well at all. Maddie saw that and went to our parents for help. She should’ve known better.”

“Do you blame her for the abrupt move? Is that why you never reached out to her?”

“What was she going to do?” Evan sighed. “Mom and Dad are forces of nature. They were always going to get their way. I’m not convinced that they wouldn’t have had her beaten or killed for interfering. It’s certainly not beyond them.”

A silence grew between the two in the office as the heavy subject weighed against their shoulders. It took effort to take a breath. It was hard to breathe in the quiet.

Finally, Evan broke it. “I love Maddie. But I also loved Daniel, and I loved my parents at one point, even when I knew there was something wrong in our family.”

“Love can be complicated,” she offered quietly, “And grief even more so.”

“I don’t remember ever being tucked into bed when I was little.” Evan spoke into the quiet. “Mom never hugged me. I don’t think she even enjoyed touching me. That was why I think we had a nanny for a long time.”

“How did your dad treat you?”

“He was more willing to touch, if that’s what you’re asking.” Evan sighed, “I remember being sick, just after I started public school, some sort of cold. The only one my Mom let into my room was the nanny, and she wasn’t allowed to touch anything outside the room. If she needed something for me, like food or medicine, the maid brought it to the door and the nanny brought it into the room. I just remember hearing Mom and Dad arguing on the other side of the door at some point that night.

“Dad wanted to come in. He hadn’t wanted to let the nanny take care of me alone. He thought maybe I was lonely. But Mom told him there was no way she was going to let him jeopardize Daniel’s health by being so careless. And Dad, he just kind of sighed. ‘Anything for Daniel.’”

“That’s a refrain that comes up a lot, doesn’t it?” The judge asked. “’Anything for Daniel.’”

“It’s just the way things were.” Evan shrugged. “Daniel was their priority. Maddie and I weren’t.”

The judge nodded. “I initially signed for your custody removal because the doctors at the clinic had emphasized the danger of your situation. That if your custody stayed with the Buckleys, they feared that your entire family might disappear to another state just to have the donation done.”

Evan couldn’t look at her anymore. Just sat curled up on the oversized chair, spinning his fidget ring. “They’d done it before.”

“Yes.” There was a frown in the tone of her voice. “I did read that record. I also spoke to the doctors that performed the transplant. While the surgeon couldn’t tell me much about the dynamics of your family, my office did manage to get a hold of the nurse who attended your aftercare. He remarked that emotional upheaval isn’t rare when coming out of anesthesia. He remembered yours being so much more than just mood swings. You hardly spoke at all the remainder of the time you spent in the hospital.”

“They had me discharged early.” Evan said quietly, “The maid came and picked me up, helped me fill my prescriptions, and got me situated in bed. Mom and Dad didn’t leave the hospital until Daniel came home four days later.”

“Daniel is gone now,” the judge said just as quietly. “There’s no need for them to… hurt you that way again.”

Evan shrugged. “There was never a reason for Mom to try to kill me. It happened anyway.”

The judge nodded slowly. “Yes, it did.”

***

Maddie tried not to fidget out of her skin as she, and the entire party supporting Evan, waited for him to return from the Judge’s office.

Athena crouched before her. “You need to take a deep breath, Maddie-girl. Before security starts wondering if you’re the one on trial.”

Maddie gaped. Eddie snorted. Surely, she wasn’t that bad!

The woman smirked, “I’m joking, but still— you need to calm down. Evan will be fine.”

“He’s tougher than you think,” Eddie said from the other bench.

Maddie bit back her first impulse to insist that she knew her brother was tough. These were the people her brother had chosen. They were his support network and they would be hers too.

“I know. I know.” She bit her lip. “I’m just nervous.”

“Does it help to know that Judge Jaeger was the family court judge who authorized Evan’s removal?” Will Abram said as he shifted the folders in his arms again. “She’s compassionate and merciful with minors, ruthless with parents. Statistically, parents face more loss of rights and harsher penalties in her courtroom than the average of California family court judges.”

Maddie stared and Abram grinned. “We’re friends. She hides in my office to avoid her mother-in-law. I’m her plus one at community sports events. Her husband can’t stand to watch anything less than professionals.”

Before she could even dig into that, the door near the other end of the hall opened and Evan stepped out. She hopped up as security walked him back to the public portion of the county courts’ building. Maddie resisted the urge to linger at the security cordon. Athena might have been right about her fidgeting.

“Are you okay?” Evan’s eyes were red, like he’d been crying.

He shrugged, “Still have all the organs I went in with, can’t be too bad.”

“Don’t be morbid,” Maddie smacked her brother high on his shoulder, “I was being serious.”

He frowned, “So was I.”

Her breath hitched in her throat when he took a small step away from her. Eyes bore into her back and Maddie refused to turn and see if it was Eddie or her Uncle Jasper. Neither would have been happy.

Athena wrapped an arm around his shoulder and turned her brother to the courtroom. The doors were finally opening. “Come on, the hearing will start soon.”

Technically, no matter Maddie’s investment in the outcome, the hearing was really the State of California vs Philip and Margaret Buckley concerning their son Evan’s custody. The State was arguing that Philip and Margaret were physical and emotional threats to Evan’s life. Philip and Margaret were attempting to refute that.

The case, without witness testimony, could come down to Evan’s medical records and Philip and Margaret’s lack of previous complaints. The police report concerning Margaret’s attempt at murdering Evan should only help.

Her Honor, Judge Constance Jaeger riffled through the paperwork before her as the courtroom waited to begin. She peered down at the gathering in the courtroom. “I recognize Officer Grant and Edmundo Diaz II as serving emotional support for Evan Buckley. Ms. Amelia Hart you are acting as counsel for Ms. Maddie Buckley and her uncle, Jasper Buckley, correct?” She nodded as the lawyer agreed. “Mrs. Liefson and Mr. Abram, I am familiar with, of course, but the elder Diazes are here because?”

Mrs. Liefson stood, “They’ve offered to act as foster parents for Evan, if it pleases your honor. Their paperwork is among the options Mr. Abram offered your office.”

Judge Jaeger flipped a few more pages before nodding. “As for the defense, Mr. Higgins, it appears you are missing one of your defendants. The hearing cannot continue without Mrs. Margaret Buckley.”

“If I may, your honor,” Mr. Higgins adjusted his suit jacket with a little tug as he stood. Maddie couldn’t be sure, but he appeared nervous. “That is addressed in the additional documentation supplied to the court this morning. Mrs. Buckley has had a certified mental break due to the death of her son Daniel. Dr. Roger Slate has provided the appropriate statements and is here, waiting outside, to swear under oath that at this time, Mrs. Margaret Buckley is not mentally competent.”

Judge Jaeger frowned down at the document. She shuffled a few more papers, and then outright scowled at the table of the defense. “Mr. Buckley, I see you have seen fit to provide the Court with the paperwork to withdraw your desire to protest DCFS’s removal of Evan. Why?”

Maddie swallowed her heart back into her chest. It shouldn’t have been a surprise given the evidence of her father’s lack of feeling. Evan had been a resource to her parents in their pursuit of Daniel’s healing.

The only person surprised at this turn of events was her.

Philip Buckley stood slowly from his seat next to the lawyer and cleared his throat. “My primary goal has always been the needs and desires of my wife. With Daniel dead and Margaret ruled incompetent at this point, I feel that my best choice is to focus my attention on taking care of my wife.”

“While I commend you on your dedication to your wife, Mr. Buckley, I must seek clarification. Are you informing the Court that you are placing the mental well being of your wife, an adult, over the physical custody of your son?”

Maddie watched as Philip shot a glance toward his lawyer, who was clearly against this move, and could tell the exact moment he decided to ignore the advice of his Council. It might not have been the same situation, but Maddie had lived half her life watching her parents square off against doctors and nurses and well-meaning chaplains with the same shoulders-back and chin-up move.

“Evan only exists because Margaret insisted,” Philip Buckley said almost casually. “She thought that a savior sibling was the best choice we could make to preserve Daniel’s life. She made the decision, underwent the procedure, and carried him for nine months in her own body. She was certain that no one would be as careful as she would.” He turned away from the Judge. “But Daniel’s gone now. Maddie has stepped up and offered to be Evan’s guardian, which is really for the best.” He grimaced. “It wouldn’t do to have Margaret upset.”

“Answer the question plainly, Mr. Buckley, are you or are you not informing the California Court of Family Affairs your intention to abdicate your responsibility to your youngest child?”

Philip shot a worried glance at his lawyer, who was seated at the table and made every appearance of having given up. “Yes.”

Judge Jaeger tapped her fingers against the top of her desk, “You know, Mark, I’ve gotten used to you defending some real messed up people over the years. But this has to be one of the most disgusting displays I’ve ever seen.”

Mark Higgins opened his mouth and closed it with a shrug. “I’ve got nothing. People deserve to be defended, but rarely are they so… interested in doing things themselves.”

“It is unusual for people of means,” Judge Jaeger agreed to Philip Buckley’s gaping face.

They all sat and watched as the Judge considered the situation and the documentation before her. Maddie’s stomach was rolling with butterflies. Evan was all but guaranteed to be in her custody, and while she could admit he’d needed out of their parents’ grasp, Maddie still wasn’t sure she wanted it to be her.

“Alright,” Judge Jaeger leaned in, “Here’s what I’ve decided. On the issue of Evan Buckley’s custody, he will stay with his sister Maddie. They need to remain in the LA area at least a year, so that DCFS may check in on them at one month, six months, and twelve months. During that time, the Court requires that Maddie Buckley provide their case worker proof of attending counseling both individually and together.

“I have read this case cover to cover,” Judge Jaeger admitted. “The testimony of the medical staff and the evidence, no matter how circumstantial, collected by Detective Rosario that implicates the Senior Buckleys in the attempted kidnapping of their own son. That’s not even getting into the trauma from the physical assault and attempted murder that happened earlier this week. Margaret Buckley is fortunate to have been found mentally incompetent. I have done this long enough to know that in such a case the evidence barely scratches the surface.

“Evan, Maddie, this isn’t a punishment,” she tried to reassure them. “This is the Court doing its best to ensure you live long healthy productive lives. You need help to get there, and that’s not shameful at all.”

“As for you, Mr. Philip Buckley.” Judge Jaeger scowled, “You are extremely fortunate that the series of events I have been given reason to understand happened over the last month have already been deemed either too circumstantial to blame on you and your wife, or too mentally incompetent. The court orders that you pay to your daughter, the kinship guardian of your son Evan, a monthly child support in accordance with your income for the next three years. Additionally, I am going to ensure you are fined for wasting this Court’s time. I am disgusted that you would walk into my courtroom and think that such ridiculousness as ‘I don’t need him anymore’ is going to get you out of a hearing. Court dismissed.”

“Congratulations,” Athena said, leaning over to offer a hug even as the Diazes converged on Evan with glee at the turn the hearing had taken.

“Thanks.” Maddie wrinkled her nose, “though, I don’t think I had anything to do with the judge’s decision.”

“Maybe not,” she agreed, “but sometimes we just need to take the win and move forward.”

Move forward. Learn from the past, heal from the wounds their family had given them, and try to build something new. It was what Evan wanted, and it was what the judge wanted for them, but Maddie couldn’t move forward yet. Not without saying goodbye.

“Sorry, Athena, I need to ask him something,” she jerked a thumb toward the table that Philip Buckley and his lawyer were still seated at having a heated discussion.

Maddie ignored the half-hearted call to come back. Her father owed her.

Evan had the grief and blessing of having been the sole focus of Daniel’s attention in his last moments. He’d gotten his closure, even if the trauma and horror he’d survived in the Buckley’s house would last a lifetime. Maddie needed to say goodbye.

Philip caught sight of her approach and sighed, as though already done with this whole mess. As though he were still the victim of this story. As though Maddie hadn’t ever seen her brother flinch at a sudden touch. “Well, Maddie, are you happy?”

“Happy about what?” She frowned. “This wasn’t something I could win. It wasn’t really something I wanted to win. Either I was deemed unsuitable as a guardian for Evan, or the Court proved that my parents were abusive. No one won here.”

She fisted her hands at her side. Philip still wasn’t looking at her. “What do you want, then?”

“I wanted to know the details of Daniel’s funeral.”

He blinked at her. “Why?”

Moisture built in her eyes. “What do you mean why? Daniel was my little brother. I won’t force Evan to go if he doesn’t want to, but I still lost my brother.”

Philip huffed, “your mother is far too delicate to tolerate the public at Daniel’s funeral. It will be a private ceremony.”

“Are you- are you telling me that I can’t attend my own brother’s funeral?” She ignored the crack in her voice and the way her pitch had people turning.

“I don’t see why you have to make this such a big deal.” Philip said as he turned to stand, “your mother deserves your respect. The depth of her feeling is far beyond what you can imagine. You might have lost your brother, but she lost her son.”

Maddie stared at him. She stared as he stood, as he packed his documents away in the briefcase, as he tugged his suit back into the proper position. He turned to walk away because for all that Maddie had thought Philip Buckley had loved his children, it was clearly a lie. He was done with them, but Maddie was still standing there in his way, staring.

“What are you doing, Maddie?”

“Trying to figure out how I ever thought you loved us.”

He swallowed and finally, Maddie saw the tremble in his hands as he straightened his tie. “I do love you. I loved you and I loved Daniel, and I loved Evan even when Margaret didn’t. How could you say I didn’t?”

“How could you say you did?” Maddie stared into his eyes, but she already knew she wouldn’t find what she was looking for. She didn’t know what it was he thought he felt for them, but it had never been love. “Mom was always abusive in that mostly passive way, where she sneered at having anything to do with me. Or Evan. But you were so much worse.

“We grew up thinking you cared for us. That in your own way, you loved us just as much as you loved Daniel. But that’s just not possible. Because nothing you ever did was in our best interests. Not even Daniel’s.” Maddie shook her head, “Evan has literally given his life to Daniel’s survival and what does he get in return? Your disdain? Your apathy?”

Philip sniffed, “It’s not like it saved him.”

The crack from Maddie’s hand echoed in the sudden silence of the courtroom. And she watched with a malicious satisfaction as her red hand print bloomed on his face, just like his had bloomed on her’s.

“Maddie.” Athena said from several steps away. “What’s going on here?”

“Nothing.” She sniffed as she stepped back. “Just paying back a debt.”

“A debt best not paid in the courthouse,” Athena pointed out as she tugged her back out of the way of Philip Buckley and his lawyer’s path. “Wouldn’t be a good idea if you won your brother’s custody only to lose it in a fistfight right after.”

“Right.” Maddie shook herself and turned away from her father. “Wouldn’t do to set a bad example for Evan.”

Athena snorted lightly, “like that boy would ever hit someone. He doesn’t have a violent bone in his body.”

Maddie had to agree, “he’s much more likely to try to take the hit.”

“Which isn’t bound to be much better, what with Eddie hovering over him. Now, that boy would punch an asshole.”

“He would, he really would.” Maddie laughed. Athena tugged her out of the way as Maddie laughed until her sides hurt, until she gasped for breath, until laughter turned to sobs.

The other woman wrapped her arms around her, and Maddie could feel the warmth of Athena’s love. “You’re gonna be alright, Maddie. You’re going to be okay. Just let it all out. There you go. Get it all out.”

***

Evan felt Eddie stiffen behind him and turned to see what had caught his attention. Philip Buckley, with a nice bright red splotch across his cheek, was approaching with a formidable frown and a determined step.

He shoved an envelope at Evan’s chest and Evan took a half step to the side so that Eddie would have to go through him to get to Philip. It wouldn’t really stop him if he wanted, but Evan knew that Eddie would never want to hurt him.

Evan gestured to the swelling starting to come up on his father’s cheek. “Maddie got you good, huh?”

Philip sneered, “Neither of you have ever been particularly good at accepting your place.”

Evan stared back placidly. Daniel was dead. This man was no longer someone he had to fear. “Or maybe you’ve just never been good at judging our value.”

He glanced down at the envelope and slipped up the flap. The number on the check was… very large. “This isn’t how child support works, you know. The court won’t agree to just letting you write a check and forget about it. Not to mention there’s some sort of income based calculation they have to do.”

“It’s not child support,” Philip grit out.

Evan waited, but he never followed up with anything. “Then what is it?”

“Compensation for your… pain.” Philip finally got out. “Everyone has attempted to convey how horrible it must have been when you donated your kidney. How it will affect the rest of your life and limit your choice of career. It would be horrible if your life were adversely affected by the donations you gave your brother.”

Evan considered the fragile slip of paper shoved roughly into this envelope. The number was large, but certainly not what Margaret and Philip Buckley would have valued Daniel.

“Pain and suffering,” Evan repeated vaguely. “Specifically for my kidney and the effect it will have on my life and career.”

“Yes,” Philip sneered, “as everyone has been saying.”

Evan wanted to ask why the number was so low, but he knew the answer. “You still don’t get it.”

“You didn’t want to donate your kidney,” Philip scowled, “I get it. You wanted Daniel to die.”

“You’re such an idiot,” Evan said bluntly. “I never wanted Daniel to die. I just wanted to feel safe. I wanted to be able to sleep without nightmares, go to a hospital without fearing I would end up cut open on a gurney. I wanted to lock the door and be able to trust it would hold.

“I wanted to graduate high school without having to repeat half my classes because of absences. I wanted to receive affection that didn’t require a needle before it or a verbal slap in the face after it. I wanted to learn to trust that some people do have my best interests at heart, even if they aren’t you. I wanted a family. I wanted parents that loved me. I wanted to be a person and not a product.

“I never wanted Daniel to die. I just wanted the opportunity to live, too.” Evan reached between the space between him and his father and slid the envelope into the breast pocket of his suit jacket. “You can keep your money. You’ll pay child support and Maddie will accept it on my behalf, because the only thing I want from you and Margaret is the one thing I’m never going to get.”

“What?” Philip asked hoarsely, “Love?”

Evan offered a pitying smile, because if Philip Buckley had ever really known love, it had likely died with his parents. Margaret was simply incapable of it. “An apology, but you can’t even recognize what you did wrong.” He turned and tugged his best friend away from his bio-father. “We can wait for Maddie outside.”

Spring in LA was different from spring in Pennsylvania. In Pennsylvania it was still cold and wet. The snow would have turned to slush. A never ending slog of freezing, melting, breaking, and refreezing on roads and walkways. The day would start late and end early, but flowers would be starting to poke up from the thinning layer of snow. Trees would be starting to bloom.

Spring had always been a time he waited for eagerly because it meant finally being free to escape the prison that was the Buckley family home.

LA was different. That first wave of warmth when they’d climbed out of the plane at the LA airport had been like spring had come early. Now Evan wondered if spring had come to stay forever.

“It sucks that your parents are so lousy. That they don’t get how awful they’ve been.” Eddie said as they settled on the cement stairs out of the way of traffic. “like he just thought he could buy your- what? I don’t even know. Your silence?”

“At least I’m free of them now. I don’t know what will happen to them, but I’m not sure I really care.” Evan shrugged lightly, turning his face up to the sun. “It’s what they’ve always done. They solved all their problems with money, even Daniel’s. After all, they bought me.”

“Gross,” Eddie shuddered. “They should’ve bought counseling.”

Evan snorted. Eddie wasn’t wrong. Though he laughed suddenly at a thought that tripped across his mind. “What were you calling it the other day? Rich white people problems?”

“Privilege.” Eddie shook his head, a small smile peeking out the side of his mouth. “It’s just beyond me, man.”

“Yeah.” Evan leaned into him. “Me too.”

“What are you going to do now?” Eddie asked softly.

The elder Diazes had taken a seat on the bench nearer to the road and the parking lot, but they were all still waiting for the rest of their group. It was likely that Will Abram would have a great deal of paperwork for them to sign at some point, at least. And Athena had mentioned something about a celebratory lunch.

“Uh, counseling.” Evan said with a laugh. “Figure out how to graduate high school on time. Hell, figure out how to live without — without Daniel’s ghost hovering over my shoulder.”

“And after that?”

“I think I’d like to learn to swim.”

***

Lunch had originally been a picnic, but a rare spring thunderstorm had rolled into LA and none of the party had wanted to deal with soggy sandwiches. So they’d packed up the picnic and themselves into their vehicles and Maddie had taken the opportunity to christen their new apartment.

“Sorry,” Maddie cringed as she let their group trundle through. “Maybe this wasn’t the best idea. I forgot we didn’t have any furniture yet.”

“Darling, it’s no problem.” Abuela promised, patting her on the arm, “But Edmundo and I will be taking the stairs. Getting down won’t be as big a problem as getting back up.”

“Don’t we all know that!” Uncle Jasper laughed as he helped to pass out napkins and drinks. “It was a bad day the first time I stood up from working off the floor and couldn’t move.”

“Too long ago to remember,” Edmundo Diaz waved a hand, “Floors, ha! I haven’t been able to get out of my chair without help in a year!”

“Quick,” Pepa laughed, “we need to change the subject. Papa could complain for hours about his aches and pains if we let him.”

The atmosphere was warm in the silence between the many bodies crowded around. Maddie couldn’t remember ever feeling this way, except, maybe, during the times she’d stayed with Uncle Jasper and Aunt Rose over the last few years.

They’d had mornings that felt like this during the holidays. It was nice.

“This is a beautiful apartment, Maddie.” Athena said in between bites of her sandwich.

Maddie groaned even as her uncle smirked, “No, stop. Don’t!”

“It’s a condo.” She could practically hear the laughter in her uncle’s voice. “They called it the Penthouse, but it’s really not large enough. Three bedrooms, a loft space, and an open concept living and dining room.”

“Well, it’s lovely,” Abuela insisted.

“Thank you.”

The conversation had turned to interior decorating, the correct size of furniture to fill the large living space, and the amenities nearby. Jasper carried the conversation easily without her help; Maddie’s thoughts were full of how different this home was from her last. The new condo was nothing like the hot mess she’d rented in Philadelphia. Of course it wasn’t the warm and inviting home of the Grants or, she assumed, of the Diazes, but Maddie thought it had a lot of potential.

She’d refused Uncle Jasper’s help the first time around because… because of her pride, maybe. Her parents hadn’t believed she’d be able to survive as a nurse, so she’d wanted to shove it in their faces. Or maybe she hadn’t accepted the help because Uncle Jasper had been her father’s brother and, subconsciously, she had probably expected the same behavior from him. Maddie huffed, Judge Jaeger had clearly known what she was talking about when she’d directed both Buckley siblings to counseling. She was glad Jasper hadn’t let her talk him out of helping this time.

After lunch, Eddie dragged Evan over to the enormous balcony to exclaim about the view while Jasper very kindly offered to drop the elderly Diazes off at their house and Maddie moved with Athena and Pepa to the kitchen for some of the fancy frozen drinks that had been thrown in with their lunch.

“What are the schools like in this area?” Pepa asked as she stuck her head in and out of all the closets and cabinets. “You have decent storage. I’m impressed. My house doesn’t even have storage options this good.”

Athena had promised she was the best with frozen pre-packaged drinks and Maddie had to laugh because even if she didn’t know the punch line, that had definitely been a joke about something.

“There are a couple of public schools in the area, but Fitz—Uncle Jasper’s advisor—actually suggested one of the private academies in the area. It specializes in students who need extra help.” She tried not to cringe, “I’m not sure what that means for who Evan will be going to class with, but the Principal assured us all that they were more than capable of getting Evan up to speed to graduate on time with kids his age.”

“Good,” Athena nodded, “I know Evan was concerned about graduating on time.”

“And don’t worry about the other students. That’s your parents peeking through.” Pepa admonished, “Evan is a kind-hearted boy. He might be a little afraid, a little wary, but he’s more likely to take that out on adults than other teens. He’ll make friends. Just watch.”

“Pepa’s right,” Athena said, snacking on the vegetable platter that had come with their picnic. “About Evan and about the storage space. Girl, you lucked out.”

Maddie shrugged, “it was a great find. Amazing balcony and kitchen, three bedrooms with a large central living space, and it’s in a nice area. Only a couple of blocks from the sea. I can’t wait to cover the balcony with plants. Mom was allergic, so we’d never been allowed indoor plants. And play in the gardens?” Maddie affected a horrified expression. “Good heavens no, we might ruin the landscaping.”

Athena slurped at her frozen fake mimosa, smacking her lips a little. “I’ll get you some starts. My rhododendron should have been split years ago. The thing might as well be a damn tree with how big it’s grown.”

“Being close to the sea was important, though?” Pepa honed in, turning the conversation, her observational skills almost uncanny to Maddie. She didn’t doubt that Athena could see the same things. She was just being more polite. Or waiting for the opportune time to smack Maddie in the face with it.

Maddie sighed, munching on some veggies of her own, “It was the only reason Evan had for staying in LA. He wanted to stay. He liked the ocean, he said. I know a lot of it was going to be about the support network he’d developed in your homes with your families, but that was what he said and I don’t ever want Evan to feel like I’m not listening to him.”

“Unlike your parents?” Pepa clarified; going in for the kill as far as Maddie was concerned.

“You saw how our father acted in the courtroom, can you imagine them ever listening to anyone?” Maddie sighed, the memories too many to even count, “Doctors, lawyers, teachers, if they offered opinions Mom and Dad didn’t like then Mom and Dad got new ones. They certainly didn’t listen to Evan about his body. Why would it be a shock that they never listened to anyone else?”

“You’re going to do better,” Athena encouraged. “You’re going to listen and you’re going to support Evan in his choices. That’s really all he wants. Just someone to love him.”

Maddie blinked back the tears. But how was she going to do it when she still had moments she couldn’t convince herself this move was a good thing?

“You’re not doing this alone,” Pepa said firmly. “Don’t get caught in that trap of thinking we only care about Evan, or we wouldn’t care about you, or that you have to do it alone. You don’t.” Took a sip of her mimosa and stared over the rim of the glass. “I’m going to get you an appointment at the women’s organization I work for. We’re always hiring new nurses and doctors of all stripes. There’s sure to be a position open in the city.”

“It’ll be good for you, too,” Athena agreed. “The Amanda DeVario Trust is great at getting the right resources for their people to do good work. They’ll take care of you too.”

“I just wish they didn’t have to. I wish we’d gotten more from our parents than the legal obligation of a check every month.”

“It’s shitty,” Pepa nodded, “but that’s life.”

Thursday, March 19, 2009

The café at the airport was surprisingly nice. Eddie sipped his coffee quietly, giving every appearance of calmly waiting to go through security, while Evan had taken two sips of his hot chocolate and proceeded to rattle nearly out of his skin.

“You know this isn’t the end, right?” Eddie said suddenly. “I’m only a phone call away.”

“Until you end up in freaking Afghanistan, half a world away.” Evan slouched in his seat, “but yeah, I do know. I just- it’s crazy but- I—“

Eddie reached forward, “Ev, what’s wrong? This isn’t forever. You said you were going to talk to Maddie about maybe flying out in a couple of months.”

Evan scrunched his nose in what he was certain, but didn’t care was an entirely unflattering appearance. “Yeah, there might be some problems with that. The principal at my new school is suggesting courses through the summer to make up time and get me settled for the next year. It’ll be a lot of study and independent testing. And Will said that there might be some complications because technically I’m still under the nominal protection of DCFS for the next year.”

Eddie took in a startled breath and yeah, that was just about how Evan felt. Like the wind had been knocked clear out of him. It was one thing to know his best friend was going to be in another state and he might not see Eddie for a couple of months. It was something else to find out it might be a year or longer.

“Well, there’s still phone calls and email and video calls,” Eddie offered.

Evan leaned in, because as upset as he was, it wasn’t Eddie’s fault either. “Skype sucks, but I guess it could get better.”

“It and email might be all we have if I end up overseas.”

“I don’t want to think about it,” he admitted. They sat quietly for a few minutes before Evan finally admitted the real problem. “I never thought I was going to survive Daniel. I honestly thought that they would cut me open and use me up before I ever had a chance to get away.”

“Evan,” Eddie whispered.

Evan peered up at his best friend from where his head lay on the table and admitted, “But I did survive and yeah, a lot of that, from a legal perspective, is due to Will and Athena and the doctors at the clinic. But from my perspective, a lot of that was you.”

“I didn’t do anything, Evan.”

“So you didn’t full out run down like five blocks in the middle of an LA day, yelling at the 9-1-1 operator while you frantically followed the getaway vehicle I’d been shoved into?”

Evan grinned and perked up, seeing a literal flush work its way against Eddie’s darker skin.

“Shut up.” The man growled through his embarrassment, “I don’t want to hear it.”

Evan laughed. “My point, I think, is that I made you pivotal in my sense of safety. Athena, too. And I don’t really know how to- to be safe otherwise.”

“Okay, that’s it. Come on, get up.” Eddie stood from the table and tugged Evan up.

“What?” Evan’s grin was a little wet.

“You need a hug.” Eddie wrapped his arms tight around Evan and for all that it was too tight to breathe easily, it was also easier to breathe than it had been since Evan had realized his best friend was leaving. “Now, I’m going to give you some awful advice. Ready?”

“Ready.” Evan didn’t let go.

“You need to talk to your counselor about this.”

Evan groaned, not even meaning to, and leaned back in exasperation. Eddie still held him tight. “Eddie! It’s not like you enjoy talking about emotions either!”

“You’re right. You’re absolutely right.” He took a deep breath. “What if I promised to try counseling, too? I could probably talk about my parents or how I’m terrified of going overseas. Or I don’t know. I’m sure there are things they’d figure out that I don’t even know I’m hiding from myself. But Evan, you survived something insane. It makes sense if you don’t feel safe, but you need to talk to someone about it. Someone who isn’t me.”

The alarm on Eddie’s phone, the last of four — three they’d already ignored — warned that he had no more time to waste before running through security.

“Okay. I’ll talk to someone about it,” Evan agreed into the press of Eddie’s t-shirt.

He clung just a little longer, pressing the firm muscle and tight strength of Eddie’s hug, the smell of his soap, and the sound of Eddie’s voice into his memory like flowers between the pages of books—like precious things to keep careful track of. Just in case.

“I’ll call you,” Eddie promised. “You’re going to need to tell me everything I’m not here for. Classes, swim lessons, days at the beach. Visit Athena and the Abuelos. Don’t let Tia Pepa pick on Maddie, don’t let Maddie pick on you.”

“Remember, you have a family here that loves you.” Evan said back. “Remember that you need to come back to it.”

The hug tightened and squeezed for just one more moment before Eddie was letting go, grabbing his bag, and sprinting for security. They’d really left it for the last minute.

Evan took a deep breath and then another. He stood by their table in the café outside security and continued to breathe until he was as certain as he would be that his broken heart wouldn’t actually kill him.

It was weird. He’d survived the horror of Daniel’s disease and his own mother trying to kill him, but this—saying goodbye to his best friend at the airport—this was what nearly took him down at the knees.

His phone buzzed with an incoming call. “Hello?”

“You’re coming over for dinner tonight.” Athena said, “Maddie’s invited too. What do you think will go over better lasagna or fajitas?”

The break in Evan’s heart eased at her voice, even garbled as it was from the poor reception in the airport. The vice around his chest unlatched and it became a little easier to breathe.

“Fajitas,” Evan decided as he turned toward the doors and the waiting taxis. “You make them kind of spicy, and I can’t wait to see Maddie’s expression when she takes a big bite.”

“Evan!” Athena laughed.

Yeah, it might not be perfect, but Evan was going to make it work.

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