Reading Time: 94 Minutes

Title: Little Wonders
Author: EAlexBeau
Fandom: 9-1-1
Genre: Angst, Drama, Family, Hurt/Comfort, Kid!fic, Pre-Relationship, Romance
Relationship(s): Pre-Evan Buckley/Eddie Diaz
Content Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Canon Violence, Child Endangerment, PPD, Discussion- Suicide, Discussion- Racism, Discussion- Domestic Violence, Internalized Homophobia, Character Bashing
Author Note: This has been a labor of love and my first foray into writing in roughly a decade. I’d like to thank MykkiTno for helping me narrow down all my wild plot bunnies into something I could work with.
Character cameos from Code Black and SWAT. This was written before Season/Series 7 of 9-1-1.
Beta: Tiny Reader, Irrelevant86
Alpha: Tiny Reader, MykkiTno
Word Count: 74294
Summary: Evan Buckley’s calling is firefighting, but his dream is to be a dad. He’s tried to do things the expected way, first finding a partner, then building a family. But Covid lockdown has given him plenty of time to think, and he’s decided he doesn’t need a partner. He’s ready to start his family now.
Artist: DrakeScrawls

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Chapter Nine

Buck was practically vibrating when he walked into work. Albert was out of the hospital, Maddie was settling in with his new niece, Jee-Yun, Chimney was back at work, and Adriana had called him the night before to let him know that she was fully vaccinated and talking to her doctor about the safest way to travel to LA and getting a referral for an OB who could take over her care for the baby’s birth. Essentially, all was right in Evan Buckley’s world.

“What’s got you so happy?” Eddie asked when he joined Buck in the station kitchen to work on breakfast for the team.

“Albert is out of the hospital, Maddie and the baby are home, and I got new pictures of Baby Guava yesterday!” Buck enthused to his best friend.

“First, it was Baby Mango. Second, she has a name now,” Chimney told Buck. “Jee-Yun.”

“Yeah, I know. But I wasn’t talking about Jee,” Buck said hesitantly.

“Then who are you talking about, Buck?” Hen asked as she joined all of them, Bobby and Athena behind her.

Buck thought about it for a minute. Adriana was almost seven months pregnant now and would soon be on her way to LA. His tiny baby would be here in less than three months and Eddie was still the only person who knew about them.

“Baby Guava is my baby. After Christmas and right before Covid fully hit, I decided that I wanted a baby and started looking into surrogacy. I stopped for a while because of everything going on with Eddie’s accident and then Red and Abby coming back. But when lockdown first started, I started talking to my therapist about what I wanted and she helped me finish my research. I was matched with a surrogate in July and she was inseminated in August. The baby is due in a few months,” Buck rushed out.

“You’re having a baby?” Athena asked, a small smile growing larger on her face. She remembered the conversation they had when the Buckley parents were in town and realized that Buck’s surrogate must have been at the end of the first trimester. “Making me a Mémé already?”

“Yeah,” Buck shyly admitted.

“Why didn’t you tell anyone?” Hen asked. She was still a little shocked. Buck had made a huge change in his life and none of them had known.

“Well I told Eddie when I first started talking to Dr. Copeland about it and then when my surrogate reached the end of the first trimester he was my first call. I thought about telling everyone, but after what went down when Margaret and Phillip visited I didn’t feel comfortable-“

“How could you do this?!” Chimney suddenly interrupted Buck. “Your sister is finally happy, with a baby that she never thought she would get to have and you’re stealing her thunder?! What’s worse is that Maddie and I will be responsible for that baby in no time! You’re not mature enough to be a parent!”

“Chimney!” Hen snapped in an attempt to get her best friend to shut up.

“And there it is. I was wondering how long it would take someone to say I’m too immature to be a dad,” Buck huffed with a roll of his eyes. “I’m twenty-nine. I have a full time job, a house of my own, and a support system. I’ve already started interviewing nannies to help out with childcare while I’m on shift. I’m ready for this. This is my choice and my life!” Buck defended himself.

“Does Maddie even know what you’ve done?!” Chimney all but shouted.

“No,” Buck admitted. “I was planning to tell her when we had lunch in a couple of days. The rest of you were going to find out after that. So if you could keep it to yourself, I would appreciate that.”

“Well, since no one else has said it, let me be the first. Congratulations, Buck,” Bobby finally chimed in. He was around the kitchen island and wrapping Buck in a bear hug in no time.

“Thanks, Bobby,” Buck whispered in the man’s ear. “You know,” he teased as the two pulled apart, “my kid is severely lacking in the grandparent department.”

“Well, they’ll have me and Bobby,” Athena reassured Buck as she gave him her own hug. “We would be honored to be your baby’s grandparents.”

“I think Pop Pop might be my favorite title yet,” Bobby exclaimed with a bright grin.

“Well, we all know Auntie Hen and Auntie Karen are going to be this little boy or girl’s favorites,” Hen joked as she came in for a hug herself. “Congrats, Buckaroo!”

“Thanks, Hen. And don’t think I didn’t notice what you did there. I don’t know if the baby is a boy or a girl yet. I decided I wanted to be surprised.”

Eddie simply clapped Buck on the shoulder and gave him a grin. Everyone was so busy congratulating Buck that none of them noticed Chimney on his phone.

“Maddie is extremely disappointed in you!” Chimney broke into the congratulation fest with venom spilling from his mouth. “She can’t understand how you continue to be so childish and reckless! She doesn’t want to hear from you until you’re ready to be responsible and put that baby up for adoption!”

“Chimney,” Hen breathed.

“If that is the way that Maddie feels, then I’m sorry. But Baby Guava is extremely wanted and unlike how some people in this station ended up becoming parents, I actually planned for my baby!” Buck growled in response, making sure to look Chim directly in the eyes when he made the comment about planning for a child. It wasn’t until he was done that he shot his eyes over to Eddie in silent apology.

“I don’t believe for one minute that you planned to have a baby!” Chimney spat back, refusing to back down despite Hen trying to physically remove him from the argument. “You probably knocked up one of those sluts you’re so fond of fucking!”

“Howard Han that is enough!” Athena barked in the same voice she used against unruly bystanders when she joined them on a call.

“No! This irresponsible brat doesn’t get to just waltz in here and steal mine and Maddie’s thunder and Jee-Yun’s name!” Chimney screamed.

“Ignoring your narcissism about Buckley stealing your thunder over a month after Jee-Yun was born, exactly how did he steal your daughter’s name?” Liu questioned, drawing attention to where she was sitting at the table with a pot of yogurt, watching the show. “I swear I heard him say that he doesn’t even know the baby’s sex.”

“Maddie and I called her Baby Mango before she was born and now this asshole is calling his oopsie baby Baby Guava!”

Buck was starting to deeply regret telling everyone about his baby all at once. He had expected some pushback, a question here or there about if he had really thought this through or if he was actually ready. But for Chimney to tell Maddie instead of letting Buck come to her and then treat Buck’s decision to become a parent like a personal attack against the couple was too much.

“Buck has been calling the baby Guava since his surrogate started craving them when she hit the second trimester,” Eddie defended his best friend. “And I’m getting real damn tired of you implying that Buck had a birth control accident like that’s a bad thing. Especially considering Christopher and Jee-Yun were both a result of birth control not working!”

“Ok, that’s enough!” Bobby finally announced.

“So now he decides to start acting like a captain?” Liu whispered from where she had snuck up behind Buck. If anyone asked, he would absolutely deny jumping a foot in the air in response.

“Chimney, why don’t you take the shift off,” Bobby gently suggested. “I remember what it’s like to have a new baby in the house. Go home, get some rest, cuddle Jee-Yun.”

“Are you serious, Bobby?! I’m not the one who needs to be sent home here!” Chimney shouted.

Buck was starting to wonder exactly what was driving this response from the older man. Chim was always caustic and a little self-involved when it was about anyone but Maddie, but this level of narcissism and hate was new and a little worrying. Buck decided that the best thing he could do was remove himself from the situation and made quick work of cleaning up the breakfast he had been making for the shift before quietly going down the stairs. Steps on the stairs behind him let him know that he wasn’t the only one making a hasty retreat.

“Here, Buckley, eat this,” Liu suggested from where she had caught up to him. In her hands she had a pot of Buck’s favorite yogurt and an orange. “Since you didn’t even get to start the actual cooking part of breakfast.”

“Thanks, Liu,” Buck sighed as he accepted her offering. A few months before he would have expected Eddie to be the one making sure he ate breakfast, but a quick look around the bay showed Eddie off to the side, looking down at his phone with that stupid smile that told Buck he was texting Ana. “And please, just call me Buck. Buckley kinda makes my skin crawl after my donors’ visit.”

“Well, all my friends call me Minnie,” Liu impressed upon him.

“Minnie?” Bucked questioned.

“My full name is Min Liu. I was obsessed with Minnie Mouse from the first time my parents took me to Disney World before we moved to London.”

“Minnie it is then!” Buck laughed, digging into his yogurt first.

“Liu, you got your paramedic certification recently, correct?” Bobby asked her as he walked up to join them. He looked like he often did after a shift of long, hard calls and Buck briefly wondered exactly what had happened after he left the loft area.

“I did,” she confirmed, crossing her arms in front of her.

“And you’re also certified to work on the ropes?”

“Since I left the academy,” Minnie told the captain, just the slightest hint of sarcasm in her voice. All of this would be in her file, so Buck had to wonder why Bobby didn’t just check that.

“Would you mind filling in for Chimney on the ladder and the ambulance? It will be easier to get a floater for your spot on the triple,” Bobby explained, running his hands down his face in exasperation.

“Absolutely!” She cheered. The ladder crew always got the most insane calls and she often expressed disappointment that she missed them whenever the ladder would return.

“Thank you,” the captain breathed. Bobby took a couple of steps away so that he wasn’t standing directly next to anyone. “If I could have everyone’s attention please!” He called in that way he knew would echo throughout the open space of the bay and up into the loft. “Chimney has gone home for the shift. Liu is going to step up and cover him on the ladder and the ambulance as needed and I’m getting a floater for her spot on the triple. Until then, the triple will need to roll a person short. None of Chimney’s chores are time sensitive, so for now they can wait until the floater gets here. I would greatly appreciate it if no one gossiped about this and respected Chimney’s privacy,’ he commanded.

“So we have to respect Han’s privacy, but not yours?” Minnie mumbled under her breath to Buck.

“That’s all. You’re dismissed.”

No sooner had Bobby said that did the bells go off and everyone raced to get into their gear and onto their assigned rigs.

“We’ve got a potential jumper on an overpass! Buck, I want you and Liu ready on the ropes in case someone needs to climb down to him. Eddie, Hen, you two are up top with me! Liu, preliminary reports are that our potential jumper seems ‘off.’ Some eyewitnesses say that he’s agitated and others say that he seems disconnected.”

“We thinking drugs, Cap?” Minnie asked him as she and Buck shrugged out of their turnout coats.

“Unsure, which is why I’m sending you with Buck. I want you to try to determine that,” Bobby disclosed.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to go down with Buck, Cap?” Eddie probed. “I can make the determination if the guy is high or not myself.”

“No, Liu has her paramedic and ropes certs, and she’s smaller than you. I’d rather send her in case we need to haul one of them up quickly.”

“Copy that, Cap,” Eddie quipped, giving Buck a look to make sure that he was good with the arrangement.

“This should be fun!” The blond cheered, holding his fist out to Minnie for a fist bump.

“Been a while since anyone called me small,” Minnie giggled. Buck could see why. She was on the tall side for a woman, roughly five-nine, and she was lean, but Buck could see the muscles hiding under her uniform.

When they pulled up to the scene, there were already officers waiting for them. The call reminded Buck of one that they got shortly after Eddie joined the team. A woman named Lola was standing on a platform for an overpass sign and trying to get her husband to see her. Their current victim was in a similar position, but when Buck and Minnie looked over the side to try to plan their descent, they were happy to see that the young man was fully dressed.

“Ok, Buck, Liu, gear up. I want you both in harnesses and attached to ropes at all times. Do not unhook yourselves. We have Ladder One-Thirty-Three on the way to deploy a jump bag. Until they get here, try to talk him into at least putting on a harness if he won’t come down,” Bobby instructed.

“Understood, Cap!” The two chimed together before quickly stripping off their turnout pants and affixing their harnesses. They gave each other a check to make sure that everything fit properly and then Eddie gave them both another check. Buck simply raised his eyebrow to that and then led Minnie to the side of the overpass where Hen and Bobby were finishing setting up the winches for them.

“Alright, you two ready?” Bobby asked as they hooked their ropes into their harnesses, a third harness handed to Buck by Eddie and thrown over the younger man’s shoulder.

“As ready as we can be, Cap,” Buck told him. Minnie nodded her agreement and then the two took their places, double checked where they planned to land, and made their descent. When the two landed on the platform, they found their victim sitting cross legged and staring out at the horizon. He was young, maybe fourteen. Buck wondered how he had even gotten out there in the first place.

“Hi there,” Minnie greeted him gently. “My name is Min Liu, but my friends call me Minnie, what’s yours?”

“Lucas Chen, but I usually just go by Luke,” the kid whispered back after a minute.

“Well Luke, you certainly chose an interesting place to take a break. Mind if I join you?” She asked. The kid was silent and still for a breath before he gave a minute shrug. Minnie took that as an approval and moved to sit next to the boy. Buck kept a careful eye on the two of them, but since Minnie seemed to make the first connection, he let her take the lead.

“Can I ask why you’re out here, Luke?”

The kid just stayed silent. He looked calm, he wasn’t jittery, his pupils weren’t dilated, he didn’t have any of the classic symptoms of being high. He just seemed oddly disconnected. More than anything Buck worried about that. It was always the calm victims that were the most likely to follow through on jumping. But Luke was sitting down, so Buck assumed they had some time to try and talk to him.

“That’s ok, we can just sit here,” Minnie told him. “You certainly found us a nice view of the ocean. Little far away, but not too bad.” Luke didn’t respond to that either, but he did turn his head to fully face Minnie for a second before looking straight ahead again. After he turned back, Minnie looked at Buck and made a short motion with her hand like she was smoking something before giving a slow shake of her head. So she agreed with Buck that the kid wasn’t high. Buck took a few short steps away and turned his body so he could speak into his radio and keep the sitting pair in his peripheral.

“Cap, Liu and I don’t think that the kid is high. But he’s calm, disconnected,” Buck whispered into his radio. “Liu is going to do her best to get him talking, but I think everyone needs to be ready in case this kid decides to jump.”

“Copy that, Buck,” Bobby responded. “Do what you can to keep him there.”

“Copy. Over.”

“You know, I like some peace and quiet as much as the next girl, but I’m pretty well known for being a good listener. I don’t judge, and I don’t offer advice if you don’t want it,” Minnie offered.

Luke was quiet for a while. But then he surprised Buck when he started talking.

“This year has been really hard,” the kid croaked. His eyes weren’t red, but he certainly sounded like he’d been crying earlier. Or like he was about to cry. “I didn’t have a lot of friends before Covid, but then I couldn’t see the few I did have because we weren’t in any of the same classes. When the lockdown ended a few months ago, no one’s parents would let me come over because I’m Chinese and they think I’ll make everyone sick.”

“I’m so sorry,” Minnie comforted him. “I lost a few friends for the same reason. Is that why you decided to come out here?” She tried to lead him into talking to her a little more.

“I thought everything would be ok. I still had one friend, Melissa. But then she asked me to hang out with her and when I got there I realized it was a date. I just, I couldn’t do it,” he sobbed. “I-I’m gay. And when I told her that, she got so mad! She called my parents and told them. I can’t go home. My parents are going to be so angry. I’m their only son. It’s my job to carry on the family name and I just can’t! I can’t be the good, straight, Chinese son. I just can’t do it!”

“Oh, Luke,” Minni breathed. “I can’t pretend to know what it’s like to be the only son instead of the only daughter. But I think I have an idea. I was seventeen when I came out to my parents. We moved to London from Hong Kong when I was just a toddler and then to LA when I was sixteen. I’m an only child of only children. Telling my parents that I’m a lesbian, under those circumstances was by far the scariest, hardest thing I’ve ever done.”

“Even harder than being a firefighter?” Luke asked, looking at Minnie more directly, missing the firefighters that were setting up a giant air bag underneath the overpass.

“So much harder. Hong Kong was still under British rule when I was born, and it wasn’t subject to the one child policy. But my parents had trouble conceiving and I was their miracle baby. I had a lot of pressure on me.”

“What ended up happening?” Luke asked her, opening up a little and holding his body less stiffly.

“They were actually pretty chill. Don’t get me wrong, it took them a little while to come around completely, but through it all they still loved me. Maybe your parents will surprise you too?” Minnie hedged.

“You really think so?”

”You never know,” she comforted him. “But what do you say you let me and my friend Buck help you down from here and we give your parents that chance to surprise you?”

“I-I think I like that plan,” Luke admitted to Minnie. She signaled Buck over and the two of them worked together to get the harness around Luke and then attached to Buck.

“So all you need to do is hold onto me. I’ll do all of the work to get us back up top and my friend Eddie is going to make sure we don’t fall,” Buck explained. “Just make sure to avoid my throat.”

“Ok,” Luke said as he plastered himself to Buck.

Before any of them knew it, the three were up top and Luke’s parents were waiting for him. The second the boy was on his feet and disconnected from Buck his mother had him in her arms.

“Oh, my baby!” She cried. “Oh, Luke, I’m so glad you’re ok!” She pulled away just enough to cup her son’s face in her hands and lean her forehead against his, making sure her son was looking in her eyes. “Please don’t ever do anything like this ever again. Your father and I don’t care that you’re gay. We just want you to be happy and safe,” Buck heard her insist before he walked away to give them their privacy.

“All’s well that ends well,” Minnie told Buck.

“Well, better a seventy-two hour psych hold than a funeral,” he joked as they took off their harnesses and started to pack up.

“Alright everyone! The One Thirty Three are going to transport the kid to the hospital, so let’s pack it up!” Bobby called. Soon enough everyone was loaded up and on their way back to the station.

Chapter Ten

“So, Buck,” Minnie called as she walked over and joined him by his locker as they packed up after shift almost a week later. “What are you doing today?”

“Eddie and I are supposed to paint the nursery this afternoon. Since we had such a calm night, I figured I’d head to the hardware store and pick up the paint and stuff. Get started on taping the room.”

“Shit!” Eddie swore from the locker next to Buck’s. “I’m so sorry man! Ana’s plans changed and she asked if she could spend the day with me and Chris. I completely forgot that we were supposed to paint the nursery today.”

Buck just stuck his head in his locker so that Eddie couldn’t see his face fall. This wasn’t the first time that Eddie had canceled on him for Ana. It wasn’t even the tenth. He took a minute to gather himself and then closed the locker.

”It’s cool, man. No problem,” Buck told him. “I get it.”

“I promise I’ll come over and help out soon!” Eddie told him before rushing off to relieve his Tia and meet up with Ana.

“Well I have no plans,” Minnie chimed as she entwined her arm with Buck’s. “And I’m one of those weirdos who loves to paint. So what do you say? I can head home and change into painting clothes and then meet you at the hardware store?”

Buck thought over Minnie’s offer. Buck had known Minnie for almost a year after she joined the station not long before Covid. But everyone was doing their best to keep to their own bubbles even within the station so he hadn’t gotten to know her very well. But this last week had been eye opening. Buck fell into friendship with Minnie faster than he did with Eddie in some ways. Having company while he painted Baby Guava’s space sounded like a wonderful idea.

“How ‘bout I pick you up instead? I can treat you to lunch and dinner? I have a therapy appointment right after lunch, but if you’re comfortable I can go into my room and you can hang out while I do that?”

“That sounds like a plan!” Minnie cheered as they made it to their cars and separated. “I’ll text you my address and we can meet up in a bit?”

“Sure, see you soon!” Buck called before getting in his Jeep and driving off to his house. He had fully moved into it just before Jee-Yun was born, just in time for his lease on the loft to run out so he didn’t have to cancel it early or move to a month-to-month arrangement.

With LA traffic, it was almost an hour and a half before Buck was pulling up in front of Minnie’s apartment building. He laughed long and hard when he realized that it was his old building. He was still laughing when Minnie joined him in his car.

“What’s got you laughing like a hyena?” Minnie asked as she slid into the Jeep. They were in the middle of a series of unseasonably warm days for February so Buck had stripped the doors and top off.

“This is my old apartment building. I only moved out about a month ago, right before my niece was born,” Buck explained once he got himself under control.

“Apartment 416 by any chance?” Minnie questioned him with a small smirk.

“You’re living in my old apartment!” Buck crowed. “The rest of the crew can’t know! They’ll never let us live it down.”

It was the idea of the rest of the crew knowing that had Minnie joining in on his laughter. “God, they absolutely wouldn’t.”

“Which is why they can never know!” Buck laughed as he pulled out of the parking lot and turned in the direction of the hardware store he had taken to using since beginning the renovations on his home. The two laughed and chatted the entire drive.

“I can grab the tape and such if you want to get the paint mixed?” Minnie offered.

“Divide and conquer? Sounds like a plan!” Buck chuckled. “Meet back at the counter?”

“Deal!” Minnie said, taking Buck’s extended hand and giving it one firm, over exaggerated shake. The two separated and Buck stepped up to the counter to have his paint mixed. He’d chosen a soft mint color for the walls with a very pale gray that was almost white for the trim. Eddie had helped him choose the paint color and the furniture for the nursery during one of the few days he hadn’t canceled on him.

Soon enough Minnie was joining him with a cart full of painting supplies. “I got everything I thought we might need. Fresh trays and rollers, some brushes for detail work, and all the tape one could need!”

”You really do love painting, don’t you?” Buck laughed as he saw her gleefully look over her haul.

“I really do! Which is why I know that you should get a pint of white paint for the ceiling. Everyone always forgets the ceiling!” She complained.

“I painted the ceiling when I put a coat of primer on the walls,” Buck defended himself. She merely raised a sarcastic eyebrow in return. “But I’ll get another pint just in case,” he hastily agreed.

“Good! And I love this color combination! It’s very soothing,” she complimented.

“Eddie and I chose it over a month ago,” Buck mumbled.

“I’m guessing this isn’t the first time that Eddie has canceled on you?” Minnie questioned as the paint clerk handed over the two gallons of mint paint she had already mixed.

“More like the fifth time that he’s canceled on helping me with the nursery alone,” Buck groaned. All Minnie had to do was give him a look and suddenly Buck was spilling his guts.

“When I first told Eddie that I was considering hiring a surrogate he told me that he would be there to help me with anything I would need. When I first bought my new house he told me that he would be there to help me with whatever I needed. I was lucky that Bobby and Athena’s ex-husband Michael were so willing to help me. Otherwise I would have had to rely on Albert and he doesn’t know a thing about construction. And the only reason that Albert even offered to help me with the house was because he was hoping I would let him keep staying with me rent-free and why am I telling you all this?!”

“It’s my special magic trick,” Minnie comforted him. “I would have been an excellent bartender if I wasn’t fired my first night.”

“What did you do to get fired?! I’ve had at least half-a-dozen bartending jobs so I know exactly how hard that is.”

“Some asshole kept flirting with me and wouldn’t take no for an answer. So I punched him in the face,” she deadpanned.

If Buck had been taking a drink he would have done a spit take. “Yep, that would do it,” Buck said as he accepted the rest of the paint.

“So,” Minnie wheedled as they checked out, “Eddie got a girlfriend and things changed?”

“I don’t know. He seemed so sincere at the time, but maybe this is what was always going to happen.”

They loaded the Jeep in silence and were on the road immediately after.

“You love him, don’t you?” Minnie asked him over the sound of the wind whipping past them as they drove.

“Of course I love him! He’s the best friend I’ve ever had! How could I not love him?!” Buck exclaimed in outrage.

“That’s not what I meant, but it’s ok if you aren’t ready for that yet,” she consoled him, patting him on his thigh before turning up the music. They spent the rest of the drive singing along to the radio and Buck doing his best to ignore what Minnie was implying and all of the thoughts that had been swirling around his head for months.

They made it back to Buck’s house in record time when LA traffic was taken into account. Before he knew it they were in the nursery, taping the walls and talking about what changes Minnie was hoping to make to the loft.

“I want to hang this calligraphy scroll that I got in Hong Kong a couple of years ago. But it’s a dreadfully heavy thing,” she complained.

“Well they let me put up the fastenings for my bike, so I think you’ll be ok,” Buck assured her. They were interrupted by an alarm on his phone. “Shit!” He muttered as he pulled the phone out to silence it. “I have my therapy appointment in five minutes. How about you use my phone and order us lunch. Uber Eats should have my recent orders. Just use that to pick something for me,” Buck instructed, shoving his phone into Minnie’s hand before dashing across the hall to grab his tablet from his own bedroom, taking it out to the patio in the backyard. He had just enough time to login and set his tablet up the way he liked before it was ringing with Dr. Copeland’s call.

“Good afternoon, Buck,” Dr. Copeland greeted once the call connected.

“Good afternoon, Dr. Copeland,” Buck returned.

“You’ve got some paint on your face,” she chuckled, motioning to her own cheekbone.

“Yeah, Minnie came over to help me paint the nursery,” Buck explained, raising a hand to try to wipe the paint away.

“Minnie? I thought Eddie was coming over to help you paint the nursery?” Dr. Copeland questioned.

“He canceled on me again. Minnie covered for Chim on the ladder last week and we bonded. She really likes painting so I took her up on her offer,” Buck explained.

“This isn’t the first time that Eddie canceled on you,” Dr. Copeland directed the conversation.

“No, it’s not,” Buck conceded. “I-I don’t know why I’m so upset about this. He’s been canceling on me since his first date with Ana. But there’s something about how he promised me that he would be there for me and Baby Guava and that he would actually help me with the nursery this time instead of canceling again.” Buck started snapping the hair tie he had begun keeping on his wrist months ago.

“Buck, I have a feeling you know why you’re so hurt by this,” Dr. Copeland empathized.

“It can’t be that, Dr. Copeland. It just- I can’t be in love with him!” Buck whimpered.

“Why do you think you can’t be in love with Eddie, Buck?”

“We’ve talked about my sex life and my past relationships. None of them have been men. And I was in love with Abby and that didn’t feel anything like this!”

“You were the one to classify your feelings for Eddie as romantic love,” Dr. Copeland pointed out. “Sexuality can be a fluid thing, Buck. And romantic love and sexual attraction don’t always go hand in hand.”

“I feel… something down there when I think of Eddie lately. But I can’t!” Buck insisted.

“Why can’t you?” She queried.

“Because it’s not safe!” Buck shouted.

“Why don’t you think it’s safe to love Eddie or be sexually attracted to him?”

“I don’t- I’m not sure how to explain it. I just don’t feel like I have the right words.”

“I have an idea. Would you like to hear it? Maybe it will help you to hear someone else try to put words to your feelings?”

“You always wait for me to ask and you’ve never steered me wrong. Go right ahead,” Buck accepted her offer.

“You told me once that you didn’t lose your virginity until after you left home. And we’ve talked about how you supplanted your need for touch and affection with sex,” Dr. Copeland reminded him. “You were young and completely on your own with no backup. You went from a home where you were desperate to try and earn your parents approval, to a completely self-sufficient life where you needed to provide for and protect yourself. There were only so many ways that it was socially acceptable for a young man to get the touch that you needed. So you turned to sex. But you needed to be safe about it, and not just with your health. Flirting with the wrong man could have led you to being beaten or killed. But with a woman, as long as you were sure that she was single, then you were perfectly safe.”

Buck was crying by this point. Somehow Dr. Copeland was managing to do what she always did when he asked. Take what he disclosed to her in previous sessions and use it to put into words what he was feeling and thinking but could not explain.

“Then you finally settled here in LA and everyone had this belief in who you are. Your roommates saw you as one of them, a young man who enjoyed living like he was still in college despite your job requiring you to be well rested. Your coworkers saw you seeking out sex, not as the coping method it has always been for you, but as you being a playboy. And once they had their beliefs, it was hard for you to shake them and you felt like you had no option but to stay in the box that had been assigned to you. Am I close?”

Buck just quietly sobbed as he nodded. Dr. Copeland had given voice to all of the thoughts he had been trying to avoid for the last few months.

“Buck, when you were only eighteen, you learned that your grandparents had left you a sizable inheritance and paid someone to help you grow that inheritance. You purposefully set that money aside to help you have a child in the future, expecting that you wouldn’t be able to have one in the same way as most straight couples would. You froze your sperm and had a vasectomy. Why?”

Buck thought about the excuse he always gave when someone asked him why he had a vasectomy, but that wasn’t what he told Dr. Copeland. “Because I didn’t want to risk raising a child with some strange woman.”

“Why?” She implored.

“Because I’m gay,” Buck finally admitted aloud. And more importantly, he finally accepted that fact for himself.

Evan’s gay, and there is nothing wrong with that.

Chapter Eleven

Buck spent the rest of his session with Dr. Copeland crying. He wasn’t sobbing, but for the rest of their conversation, there were silent tears trailing down his face. Buck wasn’t sure if he was grateful that the conversation trailed away from his feelings about Eddie specifically onto his feelings about his past relationships. Specifically about how Buck had mentioned that he had been in love with Abby and that felt nothing like being in love with Eddie.

Dr. Copeland walked Buck through his history through the new lens of being gay. Buck had spent a lot of time learning how to please women and focusing on that over his own pleasure.

He was capable of having sex with women, but for Buck it was more a physical reaction rather than genuine arousal due to attraction. What made Abby different was that their relationship didn’t start to include sex until almost the end.

For the most part, Buck and Abby’s relationship was more like a very close friendship until sex was involved. She didn’t want to have children and she was so focused on caring for her mother that a relationship with her was likely never going to last. Abby was safe, she couldn’t break his heart because in the end, he felt only deep platonic feelings for her. What hurt wasn’t the end of their relationship, it was the way that Abby just ghosted him instead of respecting him enough to tell him that she wasn’t coming back.

When Buck wrapped up his session with Dr. Copeland, it was with a new round of homework. Find a support system. Whether that was a support group of some sort, one for single fathers, or men who figured out they were gay long after puberty, or reaching out to one of the several people in his life who were gay or lesbian. There was one person he planned to talk to right away. She was already in his house and he absolutely needed to talk to someone about this that wasn’t being paid to listen to him.

Buck found Minnie curled up on his couch, sprinkling crushed red pepper on a slice of Hawaiian pizza before folding it like a taco and devouring it. Looking into the kitchen, he saw a whole supreme pizza just for him. Buck loaded a plate with several slices, filled a cup with his new raspberry limeade experiment, and grabbed his own little stack of napkins before joining Minnie on his couch. She was watching some show he had never seen that had her cracking up.

“I used your Netflix to find something to watch,” she informed him like it wasn’t completely obvious.

“What even is this?” Buck asked her, reaching for the shaker of pepper.

“Shameless. It’s fucking hilarious and definitely not child appropriate, so enjoy it while you can,” Minnie laughed. “Once your kid comes, anything not Baby Shark and Paw Patrol is going to be off your tellie for a long time.” Buck noticed that Minnie’s overall word choices and slang went distinctly British when they were off shift. He privately wondered if that was a conscious choice or if she just slipped into it when she was relaxed and comfortable.

“If we’re going to watch this, can we at least watch it from episode one?” Buck begged. Buck didn’t typically watch what would be considered adult comedy shows. He preferred to watch documentaries on whatever he was interested in at that time or dramas if he truly wanted to relax. The exception being the anime that he had watched with the Grant-Nash family. A family that felt more like his than ever with Bobby and Athena claiming positions as Baby Guava’s grandparents.

Minnie complied with Buck’s request and navigated her way to the first episode of the series.

“The original UK series aired when I was ten. It was the first ‘adult’ show that my friends and I snuck behind our parents’ back. The American version is different, but still good,” she explained to him.

The two watched the Gallagher family drama for a little while before cleaning up their lunch mess, combining the leftovers into a single box and throwing it into Buck’s fridge before getting to work. They poured out the mint paint first and each of them took a wall, rollers rhythmically spreading their paint in silence before Minnie broke it.

“Your eyes were pretty red when you came in from your therapy session. You don’t have to tell me anything, but if you ever want to talk, I’m here to listen,” Minnie offered. Buck thought over her offer for a few minutes. He had already planned to talk to her. The longer he waited, the more time he had to stew and spiral.

“I started seeing Dr. Copeland after the train crash last year. My ex was on the train and she begged me to save her fiancé,” Buck told her.

“The famous Abby,” Minnie acknowledged. “There are few in that station who don’t hesitate to talk about how she broke your heart and ghosted you. I personally find their lack of respect for your privacy disgusting.”

“It is what it is,” Buck whispered, taking a break to add more paint to his roller. “But at least you have the basics on that situation. What I only told Eddie was that Abby asked me to meet with her after. I thought that she would apologize for what she did and I could finally get some closure. But instead all she did was make excuses and vaguely blame me.

“I needed to talk to someone about all of that afterwards. Like you said, no one in my life hesitates to make their opinions about Abby known. I needed someone who wasn’t so biased about the whole thing. Luckily I found Dr. Copeland, who was doing video sessions even before Covid.”

“Because of that department therapist who shouldn’t even be called a therapist,” Minnie commented. Buck tensed and she gave him a shrug when he turned to look at her. “Like I said, our colleagues seem to have no respect for your privacy. Especially Chimney. I’m still trying to figure out why considering he’s your brother-in-law.”

“It’s worse because he’s my brother-in-law,” Buck muttered. “Maddie tells him shit about me that I don’t want anyone, much less that gossip queen, to know.”

“Can I ask what happened? To the therapist?” Minnie inquired.

“The department fired her and myself and some of her other victims are currently suing her in civil court for the mental damage. Some guys are more fucked up than I was at the time, but I point blank refused to see a therapist unless the department made it a requirement to return to duty. Covid fucked everything up so we’re still waiting for our day in court.”

“Well, hopefully the delay gives your lawyers more time to gather evidence to make it go your way,” she offered.

“Hopefully. I- I actually told Dr. Copeland that I’m planning to give my lawyer her information so that he can talk to her. Dr. Copeland is gonna send me a release letter I need to sign, but she’s open to helping with the case. Our session today is definitely going to be something for the two of them to talk about,” Buck told her. He looked over his work on the wall in front of him. There was a nice even cost of paint everywhere but the edges, so he put down the roller and grabbed a brush to do those.

“I hope you’re using a different lawyer than the one you sued the department with. You weren’t wrong to do so, considering I still don’t know who our union liaison is now, but from what I heard, the previous one was an arse who didn’t actually listen to what you wanted,” Minnie explained, joining him as he painted around the window on the back wall of the nursery, the one that faced the backyard.

“Mackey was an ass. And I did try the union, but they blew me off. Said that they would back my captain. Didn’t even get through a full meeting before they kicked me out. From what I heard, the union ended up sending that particular rep for retraining.”

“Well, I’m guessing that you settled out of court since you’re back on the job.”

“Yep,” Buck confirmed. “I had a private meeting with the chief, off the record. I told him exactly what I wanted and didn’t want. To get back to work, my back pay that I should have been paid when my disability ended because my doctors cleared me, and an acknowledgment that I am treated differently than everyone else on A-shift,” he expanded. “I agreed to drop the suit and not post about it on social media or go to the press, and the chief agreed to let me return to my job, drama free, just like my medical team suggested.”

“Why didn’t you tell anyone about the meeting with the chief?” Minnie asked, stepping back to admire their work. The whole wall was done, so she decided to move on to the next one while the first coat dried.

“It’s just not a good idea. It’s still kinda taboo unless Chim makes a joke out of it at my expense. Maybe one day we can all sit down and they’ll actually listen to me, but no one is ready for that yet,” Buck explained.

“Ok, moving on from the lawsuit from hell, want to tell me about your session today? Like why can it be used in your suit against the Bitch?” Minnie prodded.

Buck took a deep breath before he opened his mouth. “Dr. Copeland has been helping me look back at my relationship history. It kinda came to a head today.” Buck took a few minutes to gather himself. When he started talking again his voice was thick and wet. “I’m gay.”

Buck was startled by the sudden hug Minnie engulfed him in. For someone so petite, she somehow managed to encompass all of Buck and make him feel small and safe in her arms.

“I’m so glad that you trust me enough to confide that in me,” she whispered from where she had stood on her tiptoes and hooked her chin over his shoulder. “And I am so so proud of you. I know first hand how hard it is to admit to yourself that you’re gay, never mind to others.”

“Thank you,” Buck whimpered into her ear. “And thank you so much for being here for me today. For helping me with painting Baby Guava’s room, for listening to me, and for just supporting me.”

“Did you know we’re quickly nearing a year since I transferred to the One-Eighteen, and you’re the first one to even make an attempt to get to know me?” She questioned instead.

“I’m sorry I didn’t make more of an effort before this,” Buck apologized.

“Buck, at first everyone was doing their best to just stay in their bubbles, then when things started to open up, you had to consider your pregnant sister and immunocompromised son,” she dismissed him. It made Buck’s heart flutter to hear yet another person call Christopher his son. He really needed to talk to Eddie about that. “I understand why it took us this long to get to know each other. I’m just glad that we have. But if you really want to make it up to me there’s something you can do for me,” she nervously prompted.

“Oh?” Buck encouraged her to continue.

“So, my girlfriend went to college on a joint early childhood education and art major with a minor in early childhood psychology. She started teaching preschool but eventually came to a joint agreement with administration that maybe the classroom wasn’t the place for her. It’s nothing that she did, but some parents saw her outside of school and didn’t appreciate her style on her own time,” Minnie rushed to explain. “She ended up working as a nanny for a little over a year, but since Covid really hit she’s been out of work. Last week you mentioned that you’re looking for a nanny. I’m not asking you to hire her, just interview her?”

“What’s her name?” Buck asked. He’d already made up his mind that he would be giving Minnie’s girlfriend a good look. He trusted Minnie and her judgment enough for that.

“Her name is Winifred MacKenzie,” Minnie told him excitedly. “I call her Winnie.”

“Minnie and Winnie?” Buck teased her. Throughout the conversation they’d continued painting and now the entire room was covered in an even coat of soft mint green paint. It would take a little longer for the paint to dry, then they could add a second coat. At the rate they were working, if they were lucky they’d have the whole room finished by the end of the day and Buck could finally unpack the furniture and put it together.

“Shut up!” Minnie responded, running her brush over his shoulder in retaliation. Buck made sure to get her back for it.

“Well, you will be happy to know that I actually already have an interview set up for her next week,” Buck told Minnie.

“YES!” She shouted. “I promise you won’t regret it!”

“If she’s anything like you then I bet it’ll be a match made in heaven!” Buck laughed.

“People see Winnie’s tattoos and her piercings and they make assumptions about her. It makes a lot of people not trust her with their children. But Winnie is amazing with kids. She’s patient and happy and can match whatever energy they’re exuding. When they’re full of energy, so is she. When it’s time to wind down or just relax she’s perfectly calm,” Minnie told him.

“And I’m guessing that since Winnie’s dating you she understands the shift schedule and how that can be?” Buck asked as he checked on the status of the paint where he had first applied it. Minnie checked the area where they had finished the first coat and nodded that it was dry and ready for a second coat.

“She does,” Minnie confirmed as she picked up her roller and got to work. “Winnie loves the shift schedule. She thinks it gives us more time together than if we both worked a regular nine-to-five.”

“She’s not wrong,” Buck chuckled.

Together, Buck and Minnie made quick work of the second coat of mint paint, spending the time talking more about Winnie, engaging in gossip about their coworkers (which Minnie absolutely denied that it was gossiping), and listening to Buck’s playlist. That earned him a whole new round of teasing from Minnie.

“I’m sorry, but what the hell is this?!” Minnie gasped through her laughs.

“Punk Goes Pop!” Buck exclaimed. “I saw a bunch of these bands on Warped Tour during my traveling days and used what little of my money I put aside to buy iTunes cards and get these cover albums. I was so excited when I was able to get Spotify and had access to all of their music,” Buck enthused.

“I did not see you being an emo kid!” Minnie teased him.

“I wasn’t, really!” Buck defended himself. “But when I was traveling I couldn’t afford a ton of entertainment. I bought CDs from the bargain bin no matter who the artist was. Seeing a band live was usually out of the question. But Warped Tour tickets were for the whole day and were pretty cheap.”

“That explains so much about this playlist!” Minnie laughed.

“Hey! Don’t diss Sleeping With Sirens cover of ‘Fuck You!’”

“I’ll admit, I do prefer the explicit version over what they play on the radio,” Minnie capitulated. “And I prefer their cover of ‘Iris.’”

“Now that is a great cover!” Buck agreed with her.

“Too bad there isn’t a streaming version.”

“Which is why they invented burn programs for YouTube,” Buck deadpanned. Minnie started cackling in response.

The two of them worked late into the night and managed to get the trim and doors finished. Buck stood back and admired all of their hard work. The paint job was such a simple thing but it made the room seem so much bigger and calmer, even in the artificial light.

“Are you keeping the hardwood floors in here?” Minnie asked as they packed up their supplies.

“Nah, I’ve got a carpet rolled up and ready to be installed in the grown up guest room,” Buck told her. “I’ve been storing all of the nursery furniture in there so that Chris’ room is free for him if he wants it.”

“I don’t know how Eddie hasn’t realized that you are completely arse over teakettle in love with him,” Minnie wondered aloud. “It’s so beyond obvious, even if you just accepted that you’re gay.”

“Everyone’s expectations of me played a huge part in me holding so tight to being straight. They might joke about my boy crush on Eddie, but I don’t think any of them believe that I’m capable of loving anyone seriously, never mind Eddie. Not even him.”

“Well that’s on them, not you,” Minnie asserted, making sure that Buck looked her straight in the eyes the whole time. “If they can’t let go of their first impressions of people to actually get to know them, then that is something that they need to work on.”

“Thanks, Minnie,” Buck croaked through his tears. “Thank you.”

Chapter Twelve

The next day saw Buck sitting down at a table on his favorite café’s outdoor patio for a late brunch.

“Thanks for agreeing to meet with me so last minute,” Buck told his companion after he settled and pulled his mask off.

“David had surgery and Bobby and Athena had plans with the kids,” Michael told him, putting down his menu. “I’m just a little confused on why you asked me to meet you this morning. You and I have never been particularly close,” the older man observed.

“I needed to talk to someone and you’re the only one who’d get where I’m coming from,” Buck admitted.

“Well now I’m intrigued,” Michael drawled. “How about we order and then you can tell me all about that.”

”Sounds like a plan,” Buck agreed with a wide smile. If the corners trembled a bit with his nerves that was no one’s business but his own.

It was a good thing Buck was so familiar with the menu because no sooner had Michael mentioned putting in an order did the waitress stop by their table to see if they were ready to order. Buck was craving sweet more than savory that morning so his choice was easy to make.

“I’ll take a hot chocolate with a shot of espresso,” Buck ordered once Michael put his own food and drink request in. “Is there any way I can get a carafe of that for the table?”

“Of course,” the waitress confirmed. “And for your meal?”

“I’ll take the crêpes with the berry mix, chocolate sauce, and powdered sugar. And a small plate of the house breakfast potatoes,” Buck told her.

“You got it!” the waitress cheered. “I’ll be right out with those drinks.” With that the waitress gathered their menus and turned to go put their orders in.

“It’s such a lovely, warm day and you’re ordering hot chocolate?” Michael teased.

“No different than ordering a hot coffee,” Buck chuckled. “And I seem to remember that was your order.”

“Touché,” Michael conceded. “So, what did you want to talk about?”

“Did-did you always know that you were gay? Or-or is that something you realized later on, af-after you and Athena married?”

“Huh?” Michael was beyond confused at this point.

“I-I know it’s personal. But like, how did you know? When did you know?” Buck pressed.

“I pretty much always knew, in the back of my head. I could acknowledge that girls in school were pretty, but it was like acknowledging that a pair of shoes look good. They didn’t make me excited. The other boys in my class? They made me excited. They gave me butterflies and made my heart skip a beat. I got lightheaded and dizzy when this one boy in my class, Gilbert Jacobs, smiled at me. But I was a product of my time and my parents were a product of theirs,” Michael revealed. “And being gay, as a young black man? Now that just wasn’t going to happen. Especially not if I wanted a family. So I ignored it, I pushed it down. It was hard. As you know, Athena and I married and had May later in life. We both wanted children and we got along well enough. We were happy and content.”

“But when I met Athena, you had come out and you guys were separating?” Buck queried as the waitress set their drinks and Buck’s carafe down. “So what happened?”

“I’m fifty-four, Buck. When you met Athena, I was fifty-one. I was fifty-one and I had lived my entire life under a lie. When I married Athena, when my parents were still alive I was happy enough and content. But then my parents died and it got harder. It was like I had been chained to a wall in a tiny room with a locked door my whole life. Then, there reached a point where I was unchained and the door was unlocked. But I didn’t open it. I just stayed in that room. One day, I couldn’t do it anymore. Athena always knew deep down that I was gay. But divorce wasn’t something that happened in either of our families so we kept doing what we were doing,” Michael continued.

“What was the thing that finally pushed the divorce?”

“May’s suicide attempt,” the older man answered honestly. “The main factor in that was the bullying, but mine and Thena’s marriage falling apart? All while I discretely dated men and we kept living together, pretending nothing had changed? That certainly didn’t help. So we got a divorce, I moved out, and Athena and I learned how to co-parent and worked on doing our best to build back up our trust and the friendship that had made our marriage last as long as it did.”

“I’d say you guys certainly got back to your friendship. With the bonus of you and Bobby becoming besties,” Buck commented after their food was delivered.

“It took a lot of work,” Michael insisted as he dug into his omelet. “Athena and I were a little easier. But building my friendship with Bobby? That was a lot harder. I had to work through my jealousy. That Harry liked Bobby as much as he did and how he considered Bobby ‘cool.’ How Bobby could so effortlessly do and be what I couldn’t. In a way I saw it as him stealing my life. A life I didn’t even want anymore. But eventually we worked on it and now the three of us are the parenting unit that we are.

“Now that I’ve told you my story, want to tell me what brought this on?” Michael asked. Buck took the time to consider how he wanted to start his own story and explain exactly what made him invite Michael to brunch.

“I’m guessing that Bobby or Athena told you that I’m havin’ a baby in a couple months?” Buck asked, trying to get a baseline for what Michael already knew.

“Athena kept going back and forth between complaining about being a Mémé so young and crowing about becoming a grandparent before me,” he laughed.

“It-it made me really happy when Athena and Bobby just… took that on. They just stepped into the role of grandparents without a problem. They just- stepped into the role of parents for me. My baby was carefully planned for and considered. No matter what Chimney tries to convince Hen and then she passes on to Thena. I hired a surrogate knowing that my baby would have a smaller family when they were born than most babies. No mom, no grandparents, ‘cause I sure as hell wasn’t going to give my parents the chance to do to my kid what they did to me.”

“Oh I already heard all about Howard Han’s opinion on your impending fatherhood,” Michael groaned.

“My sexual and relationship history played a part in that,” Buck admitted. “No one even tried to figure out why I was so… If I was a woman people would call me loose or a slut. Bobby once lectured me that I didn’t respect women because I had a lot of no strings attached sex.”

“I’m guessing that every single one of those ladies gave their enthusiastic consent?” Michael inquired with a raised eyebrow.

“In most cases, they approached me first,” Buck stated sheepishly. “But none of them cared. The funny thing is? Every single one of them lectured me on the responsibility of the job and handling it in a healthy way, but none of them tried to help me actually find that new way to cope. Mixed with the touch starvation issues I’d been dealing with in some form since Maddie moved to Boston when I was a kid? I turned to the way I’d handled that on the road. Careful and safe sex. Then I met Abby and suddenly everyone started to respect me more.”

“So being in a steady relationship was a sign of maturity to them?” Michael continued with the leading questions.

“And then when Abby left and ghosted me, they all joked about how I held onto that relationship,” Buck muttered. By this point his eyes were focused on his plate and he was using his fork and the chocolate sauce to draw patterns on the plate.

“Why did you ask me to meet this morning?” Michael asked, sitting back and sipping at his coffee.

“I started seeing my therapist to help me work through my relationship with Abby and just romance in general. Dr. Copeland has been helping me with my parents and the decision to become a parent. She’s been helping me with standing up for myself and setting and enforcing my boundaries. But for months now Dr. Copeland has been walking me through my past relationships.

“Yesterday, Eddie was supposed to help me paint the nursery and put the furniture together. But he bailed on me. Again. I had an appointment with Dr. Copeland and I told her that for some reason, Eddie canceling on me hurt differently this time.” Buck hesitated on what to say next. He knew what to say, it was why Buck had invited Michael out in the first place. It was how to say it that was bothering him. “Dr. Copeland helped me walk through and put words to my feelings that I was scared to use.”

“What did the words end up being?” Michael asked gently. The older man had a feeling that he had figured out why Buck had asked him out.

“Eddie ditching me hurt so much because he promised me that he would be there for me as I became a dad. Eddie has always been right by my side. It happened so slowly that I didn’t even notice it at first,” Buck explained before taking a deep breath. “I’m in love with Eddie. And one of the reasons that I had so much trouble accepting that was because it was never safe for me to admit the truth or be honest.” One more deep breath. “And the truth is that I’m gay.”

Buck wondered when it would get easier to say that out loud. He hoped it wouldn’t always leave him with a combined feeling of relief and terror.

Michael just gave Buck a soft smile and reached over the table to grip his hand. “I am so beyond proud of you, Buck,” he said. “Pushing past society and your family’s expectations of you is hard. But you started the process. You admitted to yourself that you aren’t straight and you started admitting it to others. I’m here if you need anything.”

“Thank you,” Buck choked out through the tears that seemed like they would never end. “I-I’m not ready to tell everyone else yet.”

“And that’s fine. You’ve already got a lot on your plate. And unlike some people we know, I can keep a secret,” Michael bragged with a smirk.

“I really appreciate that,” Buck sincerely told him. They were interrupted by the waitress bringing them the bill. Buck reached for his wallet, but Michael was quick to stop him.

“I got this,” Michael insisted.

“I invited you,” the blonde reminded him. “The right thing to do would be to pay for your meal. And if Maddie ever found out I didn’t do that, she would lecture me. You know, if she ever starts talking to me again.”

“We’re going to talk about what’s going on with you and your sister, but I’ve got brunch. You have a baby on the way, save your money,” Michael kept insisting. Buck just put his wallet back in his pocket and threw his hands up. When the waitress picked up the check and Michael’s card, the older man turned his attention back to Buck. “Now, you mentioned earlier that Eddie was supposed to come help you paint the nursery and put together the furniture. Do you still need help with that?”

“One of my coworkers, Min Liu from the triple, came over yesterday and we got the room painted. Now I just need to put the carpet down and build the furniture,” Buck earnestly told his counterpart.

“Well, I have nothing to do until dinner. If you really want to treat me to a meal, then you can feed me those sandwiches from that deli near the station later. As a repayment for helping you install the carpet and decipher the IKEA instructions,” Michael chuckled.

“Sounds like a plan!” Buck said with a hearty laugh as the waitress returned with Michael’s card and their copy of the receipt.

“Thank you for dining with us, gentlemen. Enjoy the rest of your day!” She chirped before moving on to her next table.

“I’ll meet you at your place!” Michael told him as they put their masks on and walked to their cars.

“Meet you there!” Buck called before they separated. Once he was safely ensconced in his Jeep, Buck put in his favorite CDs from his traveling days. There was no one to judge him or tease him for listening to the soundtrack for A Cinderella Story as he drove from downtown closer to his new house.

Michael wasn’t far behind him and arrived at Buck’s house not long after he did. The two stood outside to admire the little one-story house. When Buck had closed on the house the exterior was finished sky blue siding and bright white window shutters. Since then, Buck had worked hard on the yard and the front flowerbeds. He’s consulted with Eddie’s Abuela and Tia Pepa on what would work well and planted bird of paradise and canna flowers and banana plants.

“I love what you’ve planted!” Michael complimented. “They add some color that this neighborhood sorely needs.”

“Oh yeah. Trying to find a place without an HOA is damn near impossible, so I just hoped for the best and expected the worse. Lucky for me, the HOA in my neighborhood is led by people closer to my age who care a lot less about controlling how everyone decorates their yards and a whole lot more on making sure there aren’t any petty rivalries,” Buck cheerfully exclaimed as he let them in. “I also made sure to put myself on everyone’s good list by bringing Athena’s brownies and Isabel Diaz’s dulce de leche cake.”

“Oh, smart thinking!” Michael complimented as he kicked off his shoes and put them on the rack next to the door.

“One good thing about ignoring my sexuality for so long, I know how to get on a woman’s good side!” Buck laughed as he led Michael through the house to the guest room. “Let’s start with the carpet. I’ll feel a lot better once I know that’s done.”

“It’s your home,” Michael reminded him. “I’m guessing the nursery is that little room across from the master bedroom in the extension? I think that was the only room where we didn’t do hardwood floors.”

“Yeah. I think the original owners meant for it to be an office before they gave up on the remodel,” Buck told him as he grabbed the package of tack strips and the tools to install the underlay first. “I wanted carpet in the nursery, but it’s better for Christopher’s crutches if the rest of the house is hardwood or tile.”

“Is Chris excited about becoming a big brother?” Michael asked with a raised eyebrow as the two of them immediately got to work. Buck had been meticulous about his measurements so this should hopefully go smoothly.

“Chris is over the moon,” Buck shyly admitted. Buck had a long list of things to talk to his supposed best friend about. Buck being another parent to Chris and the young boy’s relationship with Buck’s baby was near the very top. “I promised Chris that he could help me put away Baby Guava’s things and pick out what to hang on the walls.”

“Getting him involved in preparing for the baby is a smart move,” Michael complimented the young man. “It helps him know that he’s still important to you and helps you gauge how he’s feeling about the baby.”

“I plan to go by tonight around dinner to spend time with my Diaz boys and clear Chris spending the night with me. Tomorrow is Saturday so Chris doesn’t have school and we still have two more days of downtime on our rotation.”

“Your Diaz boys, huh?” Michael teased.

The rest of the day passed similarly. The two men worked on making sure the plush, gray carpet was installed and moved on to building the furniture that Eddie had helped Buck pick out on shift one day. They had been lucky to find furniture that matched the paint for the trim perfectly.

The whole time, Buck asked Michael about a variety of things that were concerning him. How to handle being a gay, single father and dating. What resources there were for Buck on the front of being almost thirty-years-old before he admitted to being gay. It was eye opening and comforting.

For the first time since his appointment with Dr. Copeland the day before, Buck finally, actually felt like he wasn’t alone. There were men who had been in his shoes before and who could help him and guide him.

When they finished, the two men stood by the doorway and admired their work. In the corner was a plush glider with a foot stool, a throw blanket that Abuela had crocheted for Buck folded over the back. The crib was tucked up against the back window, nothing but a bare mattress inside. Next to it was a small, equally empty bookshelf. To the left of the door was a changing table that doubled as a dresser and a small garbage pail and a hamper. There was a space between the closet doors and the glider where Buck was planning to put a toy box when his baby was more mobile. The room only had the bare basics, but Buck could so easily picture what the room would look like in just a few more months.

“You sure that trash bin is going to be big enough for all of the dirty diapers in your future?” Michael teased him.

“I’m gonna try a mix of cloth diapers and disposable,” Buck explained as he ran a hand over the changing table. “Cloth for home and disposable for when we’re on the go. Regular diapers can be super bad for the environment.”

“Are you planning on having the baby in here from the start?”

“Nah. I have a bassinet and a co-sleeper set up for my bedroom,” Buck told him as he walked the man he now considered a friend to the door. “Enjoy your date tonight, man.”

“Thanks, Buck. And enjoy your dinner with the Diazes,” Michael returned after he put on his shoes. With that he was out the door and on his way.

With Michael taking his leave, Buck was quick to change his clothes and grab what he needed to make his boys dinner before locking up behind him and heading to the Diaz home.

Chapter Thirteen

Buck’s arrival at the Diaz home was greeted with excitement from Christopher and awkward surprise from Eddie. The reason why became clear when Buck saw Ana come out of the kitchen, a dish towel in her hands.

“Buck, what a pleasant surprise,” Ana greeted with a tight smile.

“Yeah, the boys and I had plans yesterday that got canceled so I figured I would come over and make them my famous garlic chicken parm,” Buck told her, holding up the reusable grocery bag with all of his ingredients.

“I already started making leg of lamb and steamed veggies,” Ana explained. She hastened to invite Buck to join them. “We have more than enough, and it’s just about ready,” she assured him.

“Thanks, Ana,” Buck said with an equally tight smile. “I’m just going to put this stuff in the fridge.”

“I’ll come help,” Eddie hurried to offer. “Ana wanted to cook for us,” Eddie explained as he helped Buck put away the perishables he had brought with him.

“Well, I would have checked in before coming over, but I haven’t needed to in the past,” the blonde snarked as he shut the fridge. A quick peek at the dining table on his way into the kitchen revealed it to be empty, so Buck called Chris to come help him set the table. Only to have Eddie tell Chris that they had it.

“Eddie, helping set the table is one of Chris’ chores,” Buck reminded him.

“Ana thinks he’s a little young for any chores beyond keeping his room clean,” Eddie explained.

“No offense, but what does her opinion matter? You and I talked about setting Chris’ chores for months before we settled on them,” Buck harshly whispered as the two men worked to set the table.

“Ana has a doctorate in early childhood education, she knows what she’s talking about,” Eddie defended his girlfriend.

“No, she has a bachelors in early childhood education, a masters in general education, and a doctorate in higher education leadership. Also known as administration. None of that means that she’s trained to be a parent. You yourself called me Christopher’s father when I first told you about the surrogacy. Did you decide that I shouldn’t be filling that roll anymore?” Buck asked as he set down the last plate.

“No, I didn’t change my mind about that. You are just as much Christopher’s dad as I am,” Eddie insisted.

“Well then I’m lost as hell about why you would decide that Chris shouldn’t have chores. Which, he will still have when he stays with me,” Buck insisted when Eddie tried to butt in.

“Buck, we need a united front,” Eddie told him.

“Well a united front would require that we spent time together and actually talked to each other about this stuff,” Buck huffed as Ana told Chris to wash his hands and carried in the food. Soon enough, they were all seated around the table.

“So, Buck, you mentioned you were supposed to spend the day with the boys yesterday?” Ana inquired. “I’m sorry if I interfered with your plans. I was just so excited to see my boys yesterday after my meetings were canceled.”

“You and the Diazes seem to be spending a lot of time together,” Buck muttered under his breath. He answered her question in a louder voice. “Yeah, Eddie was supposed to help me paint the nursery while Christopher hung out with Abuela before having a sleepover at my place so we could put the furniture together today and Chris could help me put everything away.”

“I’m so sorry, Buck. I promise on our next four off I’ll be able to help you get the nursery done,” Eddie sincerely swore.

“Minnie came over and helped me with the painting yesterday and Michael Grant came over today to help me put together the furniture. All that’s left is to put everything away and pick out what to hang on the walls. I was hoping I could steal Chris for the night since he doesn’t have school tomorrow. We can have a sleepover and then tomorrow he can help me out,” Buck told Eddie his plan with a raised eyebrow as he looked his best friend and the love of his life in the eye. Buck knew exactly what he was doing by bringing this plan up in front of Chris.

“I’m sorry, Buck,” Ana simpered. “We already have plans with one of my friends and her kids. We thought the kids might like a trip to the park. We can feed the ducks and there’s a small playground that the kids can use.”

“Well Chris is almost ten, I think he can make his own decision about how he wants to spend the day,” Buck said, giving Eddie a look.

Eddie looked torn as hell, his eyes sliding back and forth between Buck and Ana. “Ana’s right, Buck. We already made a commitment for tomorrow. We’re working next weekend, but maybe Chris can come over the weekend after?”

“My surrogate is coming to town this week and staying with family in the area until the baby is born. I already have plans with her that weekend to attend a surrogate and intended parent friendly birth class,” Buck gritted out. “And thank you, for making it very clear to me that your plans with Ana are important enough for you to keep and that I really can’t trust you to actually be there to help me with Baby Guava.”

“Buck, that’s not-”

“Just don’t, Eddie. If you really want to talk about this, we can talk about it at work. Christopher has heard enough,” Buck insisted, ending the conversation.

He decided instead to turn his attention to the boy in question. Chris was looking glumly at his plate, using his fork to push his food around. Buck noticed that it was all pre-cut and that the plate was filled with steamed asparagus and turnips, which Buck knew for a fact that the child hated. Buck couldn’t blame him for avoiding the lamb either. It was chewy, had no seasoning, and the natural flavors were a little too mature for a boy not even ten.

Buck had enough of Eddie taking his parenting cues from someone who had never been a parent.

One of the many things Buck and Eddie had talked about when discussing their childhoods was that both had been punished by being sent to bed without dinner. Neither of them wanted to continue that and agreed that if nothing else, Chris would have a sandwich before being sent to his room.

Well, it was time to take matters into his own hands, so Buck got up and went into the kitchen. He didn’t care about the noise he made as he made Christopher a simple turkey sandwich with baby carrots and ranch as a side. As soon as the plate was made up, Buck brought it into the dining room and switched it out with what Ana had tried to feed Chris.

“Here you go, Superman,” Buck said as he served the boy a meal he knew Christopher would eat.

“Buck, can I speak with you in the kitchen?” Ana ground out. “Now.”

“Nope,” Buck said as he retook his seat. “I have nothing to say to you.”

“Edmundo,” Ana snapped.

“Buck,” Eddie sighed.

“After dinner, if you want to speak with me privately, then you and I can talk, Eddie. But first I’m going to finish my… average, dinner,” Buck told the older man. This was the first time that Buck was really seeing Eddie and Ana together and he really wasn’t liking what he saw.

“I have a Zoom call with my parents right after dinner. I’m introducing them to Ana,” Eddie whispered.

“Well, I’m not leaving until we talk. So I’ll help Chris with a lego project in his room. When you’re done with your call, we are talking. Just me and you, Eddie,” Buck stressed as he looked Eddie in the eyes. The older man just gave a resigned sigh and nodded in acknowledgement.

The rest of the dinner was incredibly tense. Ana made no attempt to hide that she was glaring daggers at Buck, Chris was subdued and silent, and Eddie was nervously trying to carry the conversation around the table. When the meal was over, Buck was quick to nudge Christopher out of the dining room and into his bedroom. Buck left the door just slightly cracked so he could hear when the Diaz family call ended. Instead, he became concerned when he heard raised voices and fighting. Seeing that Chris was sufficiently distracted, Buck decided to go check on what was happening. He was shocked by what he heard just short of the living room.

“How could you be so irresponsible, Adriana?” Eddie snapped. Buck had never heard Eddie speak to either of his sisters this way, much less Adriana, the baby of the family. “You saw how hard having a baby this young was on me and Shannon and we had each other. How the hell do you expect to do this on your own?!”

“I’m not on my own!” Buck heard Adriana snap.

“Do you even know who the father is, Adriana Vilma?!” Helena snapped.

“Of course I know who the father is!” The young woman snapped back. “Just because I won’t tell you who he is or marry him doesn’t mean I don’t know! Not that it matters!”

“It doesn’t matter? What the fuck, Adriana?!” Eddie growled. “You can’t take care of a baby on your own! This cabrón needs to take responsibility!”

“IT’S NOT MY BABY!” Adriana shouted at the top of her lungs. “THAT’S WHY IT DOESN’T MATTER!”

“How can it not be your baby, Ria?” Another young woman asked. Buck assumed this was Sophia. He hadn’t talked to her much in Texas and not at all since getting back to California, so he wasn’t as familiar with her voice. “Are you giving the baby up for adoption?”

“No, Sophia. I decided to become an egg donor and a surrogate,” Adriana informed her. “I got pregnant on purpose with the knowledge that I would never be this baby’s mother. Which I am totally cool with. Instead I get to give someone a truly amazing gift, and the way things are looking now that there’s a vaccine, once I’m recovered from the birth, everything should be starting to open again. I honestly can’t wait to hand this baby over to their father so that I can go clubbing and bar hopping, and just be a girl in my early twenties with my friends.”

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU’RE A SURROGATE?!” Helena screeched through the speakers.

“I mean that first I did research into being an egg donor and then I found surrogacy. I decided it was something I could do and something I wanted to do. I’m due in about two months. The dad lives in LA, so I’m flying out there this week once my covid test comes back. I’m staying with Abuela and Tia Pepa.”

“Absolutely not! I forbid it!” Helena said. “You are not going to California and you are not ignoring your responsibilities! If you refuse to take care of that baby, then your father and I will take custody!”

“Hell no! Are you forgetting the fact that I have no rights to this child?! I signed a contract terminating any parental rights or expectations of parental rights before I even got pregnant! Ergo, I don’t have custody to give you!” Adriana shouted back.

“If your mother hadn’t come over this afternoon, would you have even told us about our grandchild?” Ramon finally spoke up.

“NO!” Adriana snapped. “Because it’s not your grandchild. I may share DNA with this baby, but it. Is. Not. Mine.”

“Wait. You said you’re coming to LA next week and the baby is due in two months?” Eddie confirmed. Buck didn’t hear a response, so he assumed Adriana gave a silent affirmation. “You keep talking about handing the baby over to its father. Not its mother or its parents.” Eddie started to trail off at the end and then whipped around. He caught Buck’s eyes with his own and the blond shuddered. The look in Eddie’s eyes was pure hate. Even during the lawsuit, Buck had never seen that much fury in his best friend’s eyes.

“What did you do?!” Eddie growled.

“Eddie,” Buck tried to placate the other man.

“First you make my baby sister have a kid for you, then you don’t even have the balls to tell me?!” Eddie all but shouted.

“Eddie, that’s not what happened!” Buck snapped. “And honestly, it was Adriana’s choice to keep this from your family and I wasn’t going to go behind her back! I picked her out anonymously through an agency! I didn’t know who it was until right before we signed the contract!”

“So you went behind mine instead?!”

“It was none of your damn business! What Adriana does with her body is her business and it is her choice who to tell!” Buck defended himself and Adriana. “Even if it was my place to tell you, considering you’ve been bailing on me and making parenting decisions about Christopher with your new girlfriend instead of me, please tell me when I was supposed to tell you about this?! Or how I was supposed to trust you?!”

“GET OUT!” Eddie shouted. “Leave your key and then get the hell out of my house! Stay away from my family!”

“Wow. Congrats, Eddie. You lasted longer than anyone else before getting tired of me,” Buck sarcastically stated as he pulled his keys out and took his copy of Eddie’s house key off the ring. He made no bones about slamming it on the table. “You can give me mine back at work on Monday,” Buck growled before furiously striding to the door.

“Papa, what’s going on? Where are you going?” Chris whimpered from the hallway.

The Papa thing was still relatively new and only crept up sporadically. Not long after Buck bought his house, on one of the few days Ana didn’t spontaneously interfere in their plans, Buck and Eddie had sat Chris down and told him about the baby. There had been tears and a fear that the new baby would replace Chris in Buck’s heart. The two men had been quick to reassure the little boy that replacing him was impossible.

One of the most reassuring parts of the conversation had been when Buck called Christopher Baby Guava’s big brother. Said soon-to-be big brother had been quick to decide that made Buck his Papa and neither Buck nor Eddie had corrected him.

After all, they had already talked about the role that Buck played in Christopher’s life. It was the same role that Eddie had offered to step into for Baby Guava. Back before Eddie had undergone a complete personality change and started to date Ana Flores.

“I’m sorry, Superman. I have to go,” Buck apologized softly. “I’m sure your dad and your new mom will be more than happy to tell you what’s going on,” Buck told him before shutting the door behind him.

Eddie clearly wanted to replace Buck as Chris’ second parent no matter what the man had told Buck, so Eddie and Ana could handle Christopher’s coming tantrum. No matter how much Buck wanted to step in and soothe the boy he saw as his son and help him work through his emotions, Eddie had made it clear with his actions over the past few months and his words that evening that it was no longer Buck’s place to care for Chris. It was time that the Diaz-Flores family acknowledged that.

With a broken heart, Buck got in his car and drove away from his family.

He wasn’t sure what hurt more. The hate the love of his life now seemed to hold for him? Or the fact that his baby would likely never know the little boy who had been so excited to be a big brother.

Chapter Fourteen

Despite his conversation with Bobby, Minnie, and Captain White the day before, Buck was not looking forward to starting his shift that morning.

Buck hadn’t heard from any Diazes after Abuela and Pepa had shown up on Saturday morning and he wasn’t sure if Eddie had cooled down at all. Being assigned to a different rig would help if Eddie was still furious, but it wasn’t a solution that would work in the long run.

Still, the people of LA were counting on Buck to be there if they needed him so he packed his bag, sent Minnie a text to see if she wanted coffee, then got in his Jeep.

Stopping for a coffee at his favorite Mom & Pop café was such a part of his Monday morning routine on shift days that he instantly made his way there. The only thing that stopped Buck from ordering his and Eddie’s regular orders was a text alert. Minnie had texted him an affirmative and asked him to get her the most sugar filled drink he had ever seen someone order.

Buck smiled as he sent back an affirmative to her and put the orders in. The barista who was working that morning was one that he saw often and knew his order well. Apparently the change was a little shocking for her as well because she asked Buck if he was sure his order was complete twice before giving him a total. Once his drinks were in hand, Buck got back in his Jeep and completed his journey to the station just a few blocks over. He was completely unsurprised to see Eddie’s truck already in its usual spot or to see Minnie waiting for him just outside the open bay doors.

“I don’t know how you still have all of your original teeth if this is what you drink on the regular,” Buck teased Minnie as he approached her with his bag thrown over his shoulder and both coffees in hand. “Unless you have some damn good dentures.”

“Oh, these babies are all real. Excellent teeth have been passed down through my mother’s family for generations,” she assured him.

“I’m pretty sure just ordering that thing gave me a cavity.”

The two of them teased and pushed each other as they entered the station, gently pushing and shoving on their way to the locker room where they split up to change for shift. Buck was relieved to see that it was empty and that Eddie wasn’t in the gym either. Just because Buck would have to face the older man at some point didn’t mean he wasn’t happy to delay that confrontation for as long as possible.

As long as possible seemed to end once Buck was up in the loft, prepared to help Bobby with breakfast for the shift. He was surprised to see Eddie on the couch with Chimney, heads bent towards each other as they carried on a furiously whispered conversation.

Eddie had been cold and snappish with Chimney ever since Buck had told the shift about Baby Guava and the firefighter-paramedic had responded by calling Buck immature, selfish, and irresponsible. Then Buck realized that the two of them must have reached a new common ground of hating Buck or not respecting him.

“Buck, can you come help me? I still need to make the scrambled eggs,” Bobby called, tearing Buck’s attention away from where Chimney and Eddie had turned to glare at him.

“Sure, Cap,” Buck responded. “Did you and White figure out the floater situation yet?”

“Unfortunately the floater pool doesn’t have anyone with your level of heavy rescue qualifications available,” Bobby explained. “Instead HQ and myself agreed that the One-Eighteen would be on restricted calls. Anything that dispatch knows needs heavy rescue will be sent to other units unless we are the absolute and only option.”

“Wait, why do we need a heavy rescue floater?” Hen asked as she joined Bobby and Buck in the kitchen. “Are you or Eddie hurt, Buck?”

Before Buck could respond, a new voice called from the stairs. “If my brother isn’t hurt now he will be when I’m done with that cabrón!” Turning in that direction revealed a sight that terrified Buck.

A seven months pregnant Adriana Diaz, wearing a flowing dress and Birkenstocks, her long dark hair pulled back in a claw clip. She was beautiful, even considering the look of absolute fury on her face. In her left hand was a smoothie that Buck would bet that week’s paycheck was mainly made of guava. In her right hand was la chancla. Abuela’s chancla specifically.

“Adriana? Qué estás haciendo aquí?” Eddie asked as he stood up from the couch. His voice was filled with genuine worry, which honestly confused Buck considering Eddie’s anger over the whole situation.

“Here in this station or here in LA?” Adriana growled.

“Both?” Eddie squeaked as she slowly started to advance on him.

“I’m in LA because I’m supposed to give birth to your supposed best friend’s baby! Which you were told was happening on Friday! When the whole family fucking ambushed me!” Adriana shouted, steadily getting louder and louder the closer she got to her brother. “In this station?! Because I needed to look you in your eyes when I asked qué carajo te pasa por la cabeza?!”

“What do you mean what’s going through my head? What the hell is going through yours?! You saw how hard all of this was for me and Shannon!” Eddie yelled back. Only to be reminded that his youngest sister played varsity softball in high school when la chancla hit him square in the face.

“I AM NOT SHANNON!! BUCK IS. NOT. YOU!!” Adriana screamed at the top of her lungs.

Adriana hadn’t faced any issues with her blood pressure her entire pregnancy. Now, Buck was extremely worried about her because this much stress could not be good for her or his baby. But she wasn’t so upset that she ignored the smoothie she was holding. He was just glad that she was slurping it instead of throwing it. He knew for a fact that there were no guavas in the station so replacing that would be incredibly hard and cause a different kind of meltdown.

“We didn’t have stupid, drunken sex! We aren’t twenty-one and nineteen, barely dating while one of us is in the military! There is absolutely no chance that we’re going to get married when we barely know each other! We both made separate, purposeful choices that put us here! We knew exactly what we were doing when we signed that contract before I started fertility treatments! And may I remind you, I AM BEING PAID FOR THIS!”

“So you think what?! That you’ll give birth and just go on your merry way?! Completely ignoring your child?!” Eddie argued back. “Because let me tell you, you will eventually regret that and you will never get that time back!”

Adriana marched over to the kitchen island and simply held her hand out to Bobby. The captain was extremely confused and more than a little scared of the tiny, pregnant woman in front of him. So with a dropped jaw, he almost absently placed the wooden spoon he was using to mix the fruit salad for breakfast in her hand. Her fingers had barely closed around it before she turned and it went flying at her brother’s head.

“STOP TELLING ME HOW I FEEL ABOUT THIS! I AM NOT YOU!” Adriana shouted. “I am so sorry that you missed so much time with Chris,” Adriana’s voice dropped so much from screaming at the top of her lungs that speaking normally sounded like whispering. “But you were already in the army when Shannon got pregnant and staying, signing up for duties that gave you hazard pay was what you had to do for your family. She was wrong for treating your service like abandonment, especially when you never dropped contact with her and Chris.

“I don’t know how many times and how many ways I have to say it, though,” she growled, her voice starting to raise again. “I have zero attachment to this baby and the only thing that connects it to me is DNA. That was a decision that I spent months thinking about. Having a child out there I was the biological mother of, but not the parent of. I don’t want kids! Not now! Probably not ever! But I can give someone else who does want children and doesn’t have any other options that gift!”

“Just like that, huh?!” Eddie shouted back. Buck wondered how long it would take the older man to realize it was best to keep his mouth shut. Hopefully soon as Adriana stomped over to grab one of Hen’s medical textbooks up. A slender, dark hand stopped hers. In all of the commotion, Athena had snuck up the stairs. Instead, Adriana marched over to her big brother and slapped him across the face. “I know you have a ton of pregnancy hormones, but violence is not going to help the situation.”

“My anger, my absolute fury with you has nothing to do with my hormones!!” Adriana screamed. She whipped around only to come face to face with Athena. Maybe it was the way the officer held her arms open, maybe it was the maternal look on her face, but Adriana just collapsed into Athena’s arms and started sobbing. “You and Mama and Papi, all of you want to judge me for my choices, and tell me I’m making the wrong ones, but you’re why I made the choice to become a surrogate.”

“How could you possibly blame me for you deciding to have a baby for Buck?!” Eddie asked.

“I told Mama and Papi what I wanted to major in and what I wanted my career to be and they didn’t approve. They hate that I want to work with homeless and runaway LGBTQ+ youth, but they won’t say it’s because they’re LGBTQ+. They want me to either get a degree that will give me a career with a stable income or an MRS degree. I moved in with a classmate on the same path and we got drunk one night and watched this movie, Delivery Man, about a man who sold his sperm an absurd amount of times for some quick cash and we joked that since I’m pretty sure I don’t want kids, maybe I could sell my eggs. It’s not like I’ll need them,” Adriana explained. Everyone was silent, giving Adriana their complete attention, even though most of them had no business being part of the conversation.

“The next day when I sobered up, I started to look into doing just that. Eventually I ended up on a surrogacy website. I read some of the accounts from surrogates and parents who used a surrogate and I thought it was something that I could do. I spent almost a month thinking about doing it before I started to look for an agency to sign up with. The agency that arranged the contract for me and Buck and facilitated everything spent months helping me make this choice. They paid for counseling and health tests. I got approved right before Covid hit and then everything got put on pause.

“Finally, around June they decided to open up business again, so to speak. I got sent a bunch of blind files on prospective parents. No names, just a general age range for both parents, a state, and a story about why they were looking for a surrogate. One of the files stood out at me,” she whispered, turning to give Buck a wobbly smile. “A single father, twenty-five to thirty years old. He lives in California and he desperately wanted to be a daddy. He had tried dating for a few years but it wasn’t working out and he didn’t want to wait for a perfect partner who wanted the same things as him to start his family. He felt his chances of being approved as a foster parent or chosen by a birth family to adopt a baby were low considering his age, relationship status, and job. He also didn’t want to risk bonding with a baby and then having them taken from him.”

“Adriana, what does this have to do with me?” Eddie asked with quiet exasperation.

“I thought of you. I saw this profile, and I thought of how it reminds me of you. Young man in his late twenties to early thirties. Firefighter, he would be a single father. But most importantly being a parent, being a father, was what was most important to him,” Adriana told Eddie. “I was shocked when we had a video interview and it was your best friend on my screen.”

“I don’t think you were nearly as shocked as I was,” Buck cut in. “Here I thought I would be meeting this complete stranger who would maybe give me the greatest gift anyone would ever give me by risking her life so I could have a child. And Eddie’s baby sister was on the other end of that call.”

“We made it clear to our facilitator that we actually knew each other distantly so if that was going to be a problem it was better that we just ended the call early. They told us it was up to us if it would be a problem,” Adriana continued. Buck could see her rubbing her back and taking a couple deep breaths. He made eye contact with Minnie and inclined his head toward the bay. She gave him a nod and flitted down the stairs to get a jump bag while Buck led Adriana over to the couches, glaring at everyone to get out of their way. “Buck and I had a lot of very honest, long conversations over the next week. Some through the surrogacy agency, some over the phone, even texts. In the end we decided that we were a good match and agreed that I would go on a low dose fertility treatment so that we could proceed with the first attempt at insemination in August.”

Minnie came trotting up the stairs at this point and sat on the coffee table in front of Adriana to open up the spare jump bag she had grabbed from the store room off the engine bay.

“Hi, Adriana,” Minnie greeted the upset young woman. “My name is Minnie, I’m a firefighter paramedic and a friend of Buck’s. I’m going to take your blood pressure and check you out, ok?”

“Ok,” Adriana acquiesced, holding her arm out Minnie. Buck gently took the smoothie she was still clutching and placed it on the table before grabbing Adriana’s hand.

“How was your blood pressure at your last checkup?” Minnie asked Adriana as she wrapped the cuff around the younger woman’s upper arm.

“My old OB said that my blood pressure was in normal range,” Adriana said. “She gave me a couple recommendations for OB’s here in L.A. I have an appointment with one of them this afternoon. A Dr. Michaela Emerson. She’s had experience with surrogates before so hopefully she can keep the staff from pressuring me about bonding with the baby that I just don’t want to do.”

“She was also the only one with any openings when Adriana called last month,” Buck deadpanned. Minnie giggled as she put the stethoscopes earpieces in and started inflating the blood pressure cuff.

“It was easier and safer for me to travel to California for the birth than you coming to Texas and then traveling back to California with a newborn,” Adriana shot back.

“Well, your blood pressure is understandably high right now,” Minnie told Adriana. “I want you to sit here, drink your smoothie, find something relaxing to watch. I’ll take your blood pressure again in about thirty minutes. If it’s still high, I’m gonna suggest an ER trip.”

“Just, keep Edmundo away from me,” Adriana snarked to Minnie as the paramedic started to clean up her supplies.

“Eddie has chores to do after breakfast, just like the rest of us,” Buck assured her. “So unless we get a call, your brother will be focused on those.”

“Speaking of breakfast,” Bobby broke in, “would you like some, Adriana?”

“Yes, please,” she sniffled. “I’m starving. My flight left at like four in the morning, so I just had some McDonald’s in the airport.”

“Well, that’s no food for anyone, much less someone growing another human,” Bobby said. “We’ve got bacon, scrambled eggs, fruit salad, hash browns, and pancakes. Any of that sound good to you?”

“Can I have a breakfast sandwich with bacon, eggs, and hash browns? Maybe some fruit on the side?” Adriana nervously asked.

“Of course. What would you like your sandwich on? We have English muffins, bagels, and a few different breads,” Bobby offered.

“Bagel please? With cheese?”

“Of course,” Bobby assured her as he got work making Adriana a sandwich while other members of their shift brought everything to the dining table.

They had all barely sat down before the alarms were going off and Bobby’s radio was squawking. The man held it up to his ear to listen to dispatch. “All right everyone, we’ve got a fire on a construction site! Buck, I’m sorry but I need to pull you off the triple. We’ve got collapsed scaffolding and multiple construction workers trapped in there. I need your rescue expertise.”

“I can be professional, Cap,” Buck assured the captain. “Adriana, do you need a ride?”

“Tia Pepa is going to pick me up,” Adriana assured Buck before watching him race to put on his turnout gear and hop in the truck.

Chapter Fifteen

“Ok, team, cause of the fire is unknown, but we are working under the assumption that it’s electrical based on the ongoing construction and power tool usage,” Bobby explained to the firefighters and paramedics responding to the call. “The fire spread fast and has plenty of fuel laying around. Engine, I need your first priority to be keeping it from spreading.

“Buck, Eddie, I need you two on search and rescue. We had multiple workers on scaffolding that collapsed in the chaos. They are currently reported as being trapped on the Bravo side of the building.”

“We’re on it, Cap!” Buck and Eddie chimed. Despite their current conflict, they automatically sat next to each other in the truck. After confirming their orders with Bobby, Buck and Eddie turned to give each other a look.

They held eye contact for a second that seemed to stretch forever and then simply nodded. They could put their problems aside to do their jobs and save others.

Arriving on scene of the call, everyone jumped out of the rigs and took a second to take in the circumstances around them. Buck looked at the smoke swirling above the partially constructed building in front of him. Fire licked at the walls, burning hot and fast. The door seemed clear, but that could change at any moment. But Buck wasn’t going in through the front. Instead, Buck jogged to the Bravo side of the building to see exactly what the problem with the scaffolding was. The good news was that it didn’t look like the fire had spread to the scaffolding, the bad news was that it looked like the scaffolding had originally spanned the entire height of the five story building before collapsing into a complete mess.

“Bobby talked to the foreman. He’s missing six guys, three were supposed to be on the scaffolding,” Eddie told his partner as he jogged up. “What are we looking at?”

“Looks like the scaffolding pancaked together, which I would expect,” Buck explained. He’d unfortunately seen it before when he was traveling and took construction jobs. “What I can’t figure out is why or how it got so scrambled.”

“Well, looks like some of that debris is unused materials,” Eddie noticed. “The issue is going to be how we get to anyone who might be alive in there without causing a secondary collapse by moving everything.”

“We’ll just have to be careful,” Buck sighed. “I’m thinking minimal tools, halligan, ax, and an extinguisher in case something pops up.”

“Better get to work then.”

As mad as the two partners were at each other, Buck and Eddie still worked like a well oiled machine to get the construction workers to safety. Of the three reported to be on the scaffolding, they found two. One was unconscious, but breathing, and the other was unfortunately very conscious with a severely broken leg. The only hitch came at the end of the rescue.

Buck was standing a few feet away from the debris pile, making notes of things to include in his report and to tell Bobby directly (that insulation was definitely not up to code) when a glint of light caught his eye near one of the upper floors.

“Eddie! Look out!” Buck shouted as fire finally ate through the ropes holding the heavy panes of glass above their heads. Buck managed to dive and push the older man out of the way just in time for the glass to shatter over Buck’s body instead, the still burning rope laying across the back of his neck.

“Buck!” Eddie cried as he finally reacted. The brunette first removed the rope from his best friend’s neck before it could cause worse burns, then he brushed glass fragments from Buck’s back. “Shit, you have second, maybe third degree burns on your neck and some glass impaled in your back. I can’t tell if it hit anything critical. I need a gurney!” Eddie called to a group standing by the trucks and rehydrating. “Why the hell weren’t you wearing your coat?” he growled.

“I was taking a break and cooling down,” Buck defended himself with a pained groan.

Everything moved fast after that as Hen and Chimney assessed him, gave him medication for the pain, and loaded him in the ambulance. Everything was a blur, time moving in a funny way as it always did when Buck was dosed with morphine.

He had no idea how much time had passed when he was finally coherent and admitted to a ward for overnight observation. Buck could tell someone was in the room with him, a part of him hoped it wasn’t Eddie.

“The glass missed anything vital, but you’re still in for a lengthy recovery. For the burns, the doctor’s want you to stay overnight to make sure that you don’t get an infection,” Eddie informed him from where he was sitting at Buck’s bedside.

“Explains why I’m here, but not what you’re doing here,” Buck grumbled, shifting on the bed to try and find a spot that didn’t put pressure on his stitches.

“I’m your medical proxy and next of kin,” Eddie reminded Buck. “Plus, you did take those windows for me.”

“Doesn’t explain why you’re here,” Buck pressed. “Shouldn’t you be at work or with Ana?”

“You’re hurt and you honestly expect me to be somewhere else?”

“Well, I haven’t been much of a priority to you the last few months. You promised to help me with my house, then to help me with the nursery. We talked months ago about co-parenting Chris and Baby Guava but Ana Flores tells you that she thinks Chris is too young to set the freaking table, so you stop talking to me about parenting decisions,” Buck’s temper rose as he listed all of the instances when Eddie hadn’t been there for him over the last few months. “Then, when you found out that Adriana is my surrogate, you lost it on me. I mean, you lost it. Now you want to pretend that everything is just fine?!”

“Buck, you almost died for me,” Eddie croaked, tears visibly building in his eyes. “I can forgive you for not telling me about Adriana being your surrogate.”

“Well, me having your back, just like I promised, might be enough for you to forgive me,” Buck stated sarcastically, “but I don’t forgive you.

“You haven’t had my back since you started dating Ana. You’ve been so tied up in trying to prove to everyone that you can fit the single-dad mold that society crafted decades ago. Trying to please your parents and take Bobby’s advice to not let chances at a relationship pass you by. But in the process, you threw our relationship away. It might not be romantic, but it is still a relationship.

“So, you may have forgiven me for not telling you something that was Adriana’s business, but I am nowhere near ready to forgive you for abandoning me.”

“Buck, please,” Eddie pleaded.

“I need you to leave,” Buck bluntly stated. “I’m going to be a dad in two months. I need to be physically able to care for my baby, so I need to heal. That means rest and no stress. So get out.”

“Okay, I’ll go,” Eddie whispered. “But you’re not gonna be a dad in two months, you’re already a dad to Chris.”

“That isn’t what you’ve been implying since before Adriana even told you about her choices. Just… just go, Eddie.”

Buck felt so much relief when Eddie finally left without another word that he could almost cry. His hurt, and pain, and just absolute longing for Eddie to sit back down at his side is what made the tears finally break free. Buck knew that if he fought the tears, if he pushed down the near grief he was feeling, then it would only continue to build up and feel worse later.

“Oh, Baby,” Athena sighed from the doorway. The police sergeant was quick to sit herself on the bed next to the man and tuck his head into her shoulder as the silent tears became heaving sobs. “Let it all out. It will be okay, just let it all out,” she crooned, running a hand through Buck’s curly hair.

Eventually, Buck’s sobbing calmed to mere whimpers.

“I just don’t understand, Mama,” Buck gasped. “I’m right here. I’ve been here for years. I’ve helped him raise Christopher. But he just keeps pushing me farther and farther away.”

“I wish I had an answer for you, Baby,” Athena tried to comfort Buck. “I wish I could tell you what is going through that boy’s head and fix all of this for you, but I can’t.”

“What am I supposed to do, Mama?”

“Right now, you focus on yourself and you heal,” Athena told him. “You look forward to the birth of your baby and you let Eddie’s family handle him. Because I promise you, his grandmother and his aunt can see that something is wrong with him too.”

“Knock, knock,” a voice called from the open doorway. “Is the patient up for visitors?” Minnie asked as she stuck her head around the corner.

“Hey, Minnie, please come in,” Buck invited, wiping tears away.

“I figured you could use a distraction, so I brought the best distraction I know,” his new friend said before dragging another woman in behind her. Compared to Minnie, who was tall and lithe, with shoulder length black hair and clear skin, the woman who accompanied her was short with defined curves, had wildly curly red hair that went halfway down her back that reminded Buck of Merida, and was absolutely covered in tattoos. He caught a piercing in her eyebrow. The one visible ear that he could see was just lined with metal. “This is my girlfriend Winifred MacKenzie.”

“Please, call me Winnie,” the redhead instructed in a light, airy voice that didn’t seem to match her appearance at all. Buck was charmed.

“Hi, Winnie. I’m Buck, I think we were supposed to have a meeting soon,” he laughed, wincing when the action made his stitches pull.

“We can still have that meeting, I’m just here to entertain you since everyone else has work.”

“Are you ok if she stays with you while I get back to shift?” Athena checked.

“I’ll be ok, Athena,” Buck assured her. “Go try and save people from their own stupidity.”

“I love you. I’ll check on you later,” Athena told him before putting her mask back on and leaving to go back on patrol.

“I’ll see you later, Buck!” Minnie chirped. “I love you, Winnie, and I’ll see you at home.”

“I love you too. Be safe,” she reminded her girlfriend, rubbing their masked noses together in place of a kiss.

“What’re those symbols on your mask from?” Buck asked her once they were alone, trying to break the ice.

“They’re from a movie I love, Howl’s Moving Castle. The symbols make up a spell in the movie,” Winnie explained.

“I’ll have to watch it sometime. I’ve got some time on my hands,” Buck joked.

“It’s a super adorable movie,” Winnie promised. “Happy ending for everyone guaranteed!”

“Now that I can get behind. So, wanna tell me why I should hire you as my nanny?” Buck requested.

“We can do this during our scheduled interview,” Winnie offered. “I’m not here to try to convince you to give me a job. I’m here because you’ve very quickly become a friend to my girlfriend and that means a lot to me.”

“Honestly, it would take a weight off my shoulders to be able to check this off my list of things to do before my baby comes,” Buck shyly admitted. “I want to be able to enjoy my leave with him or her and not scramble for childcare before I head back to work.”

“Ok, well let me start with my education,” Winnie decided.

The two of them chatted for the next hour. Winnie told Buck all about how she lost her job as a preschool teacher. How one day she was out at the mall, all of the makeup that covered her tattoos off and her piercings in. How she’d run into one of her students and her parents and those parents had told other parents about what they’d seen and then gone to the school board.

They talked about what was important to Buck when it came to someone caring for his child. How he was looking for someone willing to stay overnight in his home while he was on shift. Someone who was comfortable taking the baby to the park or somewhere else that was just out of the house. By the end of the visit, Buck was convinced that Winnifred MacKenzie was perfect for the job.

Chapter Sixteen

It was a little over a month before Buck was back at work. He had expected that the time off of work would drive him up a wall, but instead he threw himself into making all of the final preparations to bring his baby home. Buck worked on finalizing name choices for a girl and a boy.

He took out a new life issuance policy and met with a lawyer to work on a living will so that if something happened to him, God forbid, they would be taken care of. Buck spent time with Adriana, getting to know her better beyond her being his best friend’s sister or the woman giving him a child. He also spent time bonding with his baby, spending hours one afternoon talking to and reading to the baby.

And Buck wasn’t lacking other visitors either. The entire Grant-Nash family visited him several times. Bobby and Athena answered a lot of his questions about parenting. Michael came by for coffee twice and brought Buck to his informal support group for single, gay fathers. May came by like clockwork every week to have a movie night. With every ridiculous rom-com they watched with Chinese takeout or greasy pizza Buck felt himself growing even closer with May and building a true sibling relationship with her.

As soon as Buck felt up to leaving his house, Minnie and Winnie dragged him to lunch and a pop-up paint and sip in a park. Spending the day with the couple only served to make him even more sure of his decision to hire Winnie as his nanny once his paternity leave was over.

The only people that Buck hadn’t seen at some point had been his sister and Eddie.

Chimney had told him that Maddie was tired from caring for Jee-Yun and Albert to excuse her not contacting him after the accident. Then, Chimney had reminded Buck that Maddie didn’t want to hear from him because she was still upset over his irresponsibility with getting someone pregnant and thinking that he could care for a baby.

Eddie hadn’t visited per Buck’s own wishes. Normally it would have been Eddie who brought Buck home upon discharge, but instead Buck had texted Eddie that Minnie was giving him a ride home and he would let Eddie know when he was ready to talk. Buck had been a little surprised when his potentially former best friend respected his wishes and didn’t keep Christopher from him. Between the Diaz ladies and Carla, Buck had managed to see Christopher several times and talked to him on the phone nearly every day of his recovery.

Now it was the day before Buck’s first shift back after his medical leave and he’d arranged for Eddie to come over so that they could finally talk everything out. Buck had thought over what he wanted to say dozens of times, practicing it in a mirror and even writing it all down. But now, with his partner in front of him and Buck had no idea what to say to the older man.

“I’m sorry for how I treated you and Adriana when I found out that she was your surrogate,” Eddie started the conversation. “You were right, by the way, it was up to Adriana to tell me what’s going on, not you. And my sister is an adult who can make her own choices.”

“Did you apologize to her too, for your reaction?” Buck asked.

“I did,” Eddie swore. “I just… When I started that video call with my family, I thought that I would just be introducing them to Ana. I didn’t even get a chance to because as soon as the call connected, everyone was talking over each other, trying to get me to get me to take their side.

“And all I could think was that Shannon and I were so young. Adriana isn’t much older than I was when Shannon sat me down to tell me that she was pregnant with Christopher. And all I could think was that the conversation we were having about Adriana having a baby was the exact same one that happened when I told my family that Shannon was pregnant and that I had received my deployment orders,” Eddie had explained.

“Let me guess, you were right back in that moment, telling your parents that you were going to be a father before you were even legally allowed to drink,” Buck guessed.

“The only difference was that when I told them about Shannon, Adriana and Sophia were still kids so they didn’t fully grasp the situation and the fight happened in person in my parents’ living room instead of over Zoom,” Eddie admitted.

“I’ve tried to stay out of the Diaz family drama, so I haven’t asked Adriana about how all this even started,” Buck told Eddie. He heard his coffee maker beep and got up to fix them each a mug of the bitter drink.

Buck watched as Eddie took a minute to gather his thoughts. “Adriana’s roommate is immunocompromised, so she’s used it as an excuse not to see my parents,” Eddie explained, gladly taking the mug from the blonde. “Mom and Dad aren’t always the best about masking and have been seriously considering not getting vaccinated. But my mom is the way she is, and she finally got tired of only talking to Adriana over the phone and went to see her.”

“And Adriana is definitely too pregnant to hide.”

“Yeah. And then I found out that Adriana was a surrogate and I just… lost all rational thought,” Eddie said. “When you told me that you wanted to use surrogacy to become a parent, first I just thought that you were already a dad to Chris, but then I did some research into surrogacy.”

“You did research? You?” Buck incredulously asked.

“You’re not the only one who can look things up,” Eddie retorted. “I wanted to figure out the best way to support you. And I read all of these testimonies of women who had been surrogates, talking about how it ended up being so much harder than they expected it to be. So many of them ended up regretting it. And then Adriana said that it wasn’t her baby because she was just the surrogate and I thought about all of those women who just desperately missed the babies that they’d carried and given birth to.”

“And you don’t want that for Adriana,” Buck concluded.

“Somehow, finding out that the baby my sister is growing is yours I just… I lost it. I projected my own feelings about not being there for Chris onto Adriana and my feelings about my parents trying to take Chris from me onto you.”

“I did my research into surrogacy from two angles when I was choosing an agency to go through. How they worked to support the intended family and how they worked to support their surrogates before, during, and after the pregnancy,” Buck reminded Eddie, who had listened to Buck rambled about all of the research he did into surrogacy not long after telling Eddie that Buck was officially going to be a parent. “Adriana is going to have mandatory therapy for a minimum of a month after Baby Guava is born and then the agency will cover any additional therapy for up to a year if she needs it.”

“Adriana read me the riot act multiple times since she got here,” Eddie assured Buck. “She knows all of the risks and it’s her choice.”

“It is,” Buck agreed.

“I’m sorry, for everything,” Eddie apologized, his voice and face filled with sincerity.

“I forgive you. But we still need to talk about my place in Chris’ life and yours in Baby Guava’s. But later. I don’t think I could handle any more serious conversations today,” Buck admitted.

“Deal,” Eddie agreed.

Buck’s first shift back included cupcakes and no shortage of calls to save the citizens of Los Angeles from themselves. There was one call that stuck out in his mind on that first day back. Buck is pretty sure that the bride setting her wedding dress on fire and searing her eyebrows off with a polygraph machine is something that he is never going to forget. Fires actually made up a very small percentage of their calls, but those were normally pretty similar to each other. This one was almost refreshing in its uniqueness.

If only the city could calm down from there. But no, instead they were called to a mother and son living in an apartment building that wasn’t up to code. Mom had fallen through the rotten balcony and gotten trapped and the son was severely immunocompromised and his mother wouldn’t let him travel to the hospital with her.

Buck and Bobby worked from the bottom to stabilize the remains of the balcony as much as possible and make precautions in case she fell. Eddie worked to stabilize her from the top and then let everyone in through her apartment door.

Hen and Chimney were quick to get her vitals and make sure that she was stable enough to move and transport.

“Vitals are good,” Hen reassured everyone. “BP’s one-twenty over eighty.”

“Copy that,” Chimney acknowledged as the senior paramedic. “She definitely cut her leg, Cap. I saw some blood dripping. We can’t access her till we pull it out.”

“Okay, let’s pry away those wooden slats, make a bigger opening, then we lift her up and out,” Bobby came up with an action plan. “Buck, Eddie, get yourself on safety lines before you head out there, in case this whole thing goes.”

Everyone was quick to get into position and start their assigned tasks so that they could get their victim, Sheila, out ASAP.

“Okay, should be enough of a gap around to pull her out now!” Buck called after he and Eddie had carefully pulled out boards from around Sheila. He and Eddie were quick to get into place.

“Sheila, put your arms around my neck and hold on. I’ll pull you up,” Eddie instructed her. The man seemed like the best choice considering he’s already built up a rapport with Sheila. “I got you.”

“All right, let’s get her on the board!” Bobby instructed once the younger firefighters had her free of the balcony.

“It hurts,” Sheila whimpered.

“Looks pretty bad,” Chimney observed now that he had a closer look at her leg, her son Charlie watching from the sidelines. “The wood really tore her leg up. She’s gonna need stitches.”

“I can’t go to the hospital!” Sheila protested.

“Ma’am, a doctor needs to clean this and sew it up so it can heal properly,” Hen informed her as she settled her on the gurney, “not to mention a tetanus shot.”

“No, but Charlie,” Sheila tried to argue.

“Oh, he can ride with you to the hospital,” Bobby offered, trying to comfort the single mother. “We’ve got plenty of room.”

“He has an autoimmune disease, and the hospital is the worst place for a sick child. All those germs,” Sheila tried to argue. “And I don’t really have anyone to stay with him.”

“I’ll stay,” Eddie offered up. “I have a kid around Charlie’s age. We’ll get along fine.”

“No, that’s… I can’t ask you to do that,” Sheila tried to turn him down.

“You didn’t ask. I offered!” Eddie called as Hen and Chimney started to wheel Sheila out of the apartment.

“No, no, I can’t leave him,” Sheila kept arguing. “Please!”

Buck was uncomfortable leaving his partner behind, something about the whole situation and the mother’s reaction to leaving the apartment with or without her son felt off, but it was Eddie’s decision and Buck had to respect that. Still, he was on edge until Eddie returned to the station shortly before everyone sat down to dinner.

Something about that call nagged at Buck. He couldn’t quite place it, but maybe he could talk it out with Eddie after dinner the next night. The older man had invited Buck to join him, Chris, Carla, and, unfortunately for Buck, Ana. There was a plan to help Chris go through some of his old toys to give to Charlie and other kids who might need them.

While Eddie and Carla focused on helping Chris choose what to keep and what to give to Charlie, Buck worked on cleaning up from dinner, occasionally popping in to check in on them, or answer a question. Ana was doing something on her laptop and ignoring Buck. The blond was just fine with that and ignored her right back unless someone else was in the room. Then Buck was perfectly civil with Ana.

It was when Ana pulled Eddie into the kitchen with them that Buck finally paid attention to her.

Buck let Ana tell Eddie, and then Carla, all about the multiple Fund Me pages for Sheila and Charlie in different cities under different last names, going back to at least a year before Covid.

“Charlie did say they moved around a lot,” Eddie admitted to everyone. “That would explain the different accounts and different cities,” he rationalized, “but not the different names.

“What did his mom say his illness was?” Carla asked.

“She didn’t,” Eddie said with a small, self-deprecating chuckle. “Not really. Said it was autoimmune.”

“Well, that’s awfully general,” Carla deadpanned. “Could be doctor shopping. Which is what you do when you’re not really sick, you’re just looking for a doctor to say you are.”

“You think she’s lying?” Eddie asked.

“I mean, something was really off with her,” Buck finally contributed to the conversation. “The way she didn’t want to leave Charlie with Eddie, even when he mentioned having a son the same age, but also argued against him going to the hospital, it was weird.”

“Well, we wouldn’t be the only ones,” Ana honestly stated. “Most of the Fund Me pages were shut down, but the comments are still up.”

Reading over the comments was heartbreaking. But before they could go any further into the situation and come up with a plan, a series of rapid, hard knocks came from the front door.

“Adriana, what’s going on?” Eddie questioned his sister as she shoved her way past him and through the door.

“YOU!” the young woman shouted as soon as she saw Ana. “What the hell made you think you had any right to insert yourself into a situation that is none of your business?!”

“Okay, what is going on?” Eddie asked as Buck finally snapped out of his shock and tried to guide Adriana to sit down.

“Your psychotic girlfriend has been talking to Mom!” Adriana growled. “Apparently, she told Mom that you two would adopt Baby Guava so that it could stay in the family and Mom and Dad don’t have to start over!”

“You did what?!” Eddie turned on Ana. “First off, that is something you absolutely should have talked with me about before bringing it up to my mother of all people. Second of all, this baby already has a biological and legal parent who wants them!” Eddie snapped. “It’s not like my sister is sixteen and giving the baby up for adoption because she’s not ready to be a mom!”

“You were just as upset with Adriana’s reckless choices as your mother just last month,” Ana tried to argue.

“It was a knee jerk reaction to me being confronted with my own trauma of how my parents reacted to Shannon being pregnant with Chris,” Eddie furiously whispered so that his son wouldn’t hear him. “This is none of your business!”

“Why don’t we give them some space,” Carla suggested to Buck and Adriana, guiding them out of the kitchen.

“I’m so sorry, Buck,” Adriana whimpered before bursting into tears. “I-I don’t know wh-why my mother ca-can’t just leave it a-alone!” she sobbed as Carla bundled the younger woman into her arms.

“No, Ana!” they heard Eddie shout from the kitchen. “I’m not hurting my best friend by suing him for custody of his kid!”

“Studies show that children do better with two parents, and they need a mother when they’re young!” Ana argued back.

“What children need are parents who love and want them! Whether that’s with a single mom or dad, or two moms, or two dads!” Eddie retorted. “Now, I need you to leave so that I can try and fix your mess. I will call you when I’m ready to talk!”

“Edmundo,” Ana simpered, trying to get him to let her stay.

“Go, Ana,” he insisted, escorting his girlfriend right out the door.

“Eddie,” Carla said pointedly.

“I know,” he groaned. “Buck, Adriana, I’m so sorry!” Eddie apologized to the two of them.

“You aren’t the one who needs to apologize, we’re good,” Buck assured Eddie.

“I want a chocolate frosty from Wendy’s with guava. Then maybe I’ll forgive you,” Adriana pouted.

“I just sliced some guava for you today, it’s in the fridge,” Buck promised her.

“Guess I’m on frosty duty,” Eddie sighed. “Tell Chris I’ll tuck him in when I get back?” he requested as he grabbed his keys from the hook by the door.

“I got him,” Buck promised before Eddie walked out the door.

“Well, if you all are good, I’m gonna go say goodnight to Chris and head out,” Carla told Buck and Adriana. “Tonight was more than enough excitement for me.”

“Goodnight, Carla,” Buck told her with a hug before she left. “Let me know when you get home.”

“Of course, honey,” Carla promised before she left.

Buck stayed until shortly after Eddie got home, then brought Adriana, with her chocolate and guava frosty, back to Abuela’s when she mentioned that she was tired. Before he left, he promised Eddie that they would talk more the next day.

“Guess B-shift’s still out on a call,” Chimney joked when he and Buck walked into an empty bay the next morning.

“Damn!” Buck called when he caught sight of Eddie leaving the locker room, already in his uniform. “You’re early! Did you get any sleep after I left last night?”

“Couldn’t sleep,” Eddie complained. “Between the Ana situation and Sheila, my brain wouldn’t shut up.”

“Sheila?” Chimney questioned, not knowing who they were talking about.

“You remember the mom the other day? With the sick kid?” Eddie asked, trying to jog the paramedic’s memories.

“Yeah,” Chimney confirmed.

“He’s not sick. Not really,” Eddie informed Chimney of what they’d discovered the night before. “She’s making him sick. Probably for years.”

“Munchausen by proxy?” Chimney guessed. “That’s a big accusation, Eddie.”

“I tracked down some people that knew them before,” Eddie told them. “All signs point to it. The nonspecific autoimmune disease, the revolving door of doctors. He’s frail, he’s weak, he’s always throwing up,” Eddie listed off Charlie’s symptoms. “She’s poisoning him,” Eddie concluded.

“Poisoning him? W-with what?” Buck questioned. With Adriana interrupting them to tell them about Ana’s ‘offer,’ they’d never had a chance to talk more about Sheila and Charlie’s situation.

Eddie looked far away as he dug through his memories for any clues that would provide him an answer to Buck’s question. “Eye drops,” he finally said. “I saw them in the kitchen.”

“Eye drops,” Chimney reiterated. “Tetrahydrozoline could cause the symptoms that you’re talking about,” the older man backed up Eddie’s hypothesis. “It can be lethal if it’s ingested, doesn’t show up on a standard toxicology test. You have to know to look for it to find it.

“She’s dosing him,” Eddie huffed. “Not enough to kill him but enough to keep him sick.”

Eddie told Chimney and Buck the steps he’s already taken to try and fix the problem when Charlie called him.

Chimney sent the younger men off in the command truck, Buck still in civilian clothes, promising to let Bobby know where they went.

They met up with Captain Mehta and station One-Thirty-Three at Sheila and Charlie’s apartment to treat them both. They were loading the two of them into separate ambulances when Buck’s life changed forever.

There was a snap in the air. Then something wet and warm was all over Buck’s face.

Eddie was falling.

Captain Mehta was pushing Buck down behind the truck and yelling into his radio.

“Shots fired! Shots fired! A firefighter is down!” He called, informing dispatch of their situation. “I repeat, firefighter is down! Shots fired! We are taking fire!”

The last clear memory Buck had was the love of his life staring at him with barely there eyes, his hand reaching out for him, laying in a growing pool of bright, red blood. Then his eyes fluttered closed.

 

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