Reading Time: 149 Minutes

Title: Freefall
Series: Becoming Evan
Series Order: 3
Author: chimera01
Fandom: 9-1-1
Genre: Contemporary, Drama, Family, Hurt/Comfort, Kid!fic
Relationship(s): Gen
Content Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Hate Crimes, Hate Speech, Rape/Non-con/Dub-con. Discussion of Rape.
Author Note: See main page for glossary
Word Count: 83,235
Summary: Adulting shouldn’t be this hard, should it?
Artist: Twigen

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Chapter Nine: 2013 Continued

“You call this a vacation?”

Evan looked at his BFF, his best friend through high school and beyond, and laughed. “Yes, Geoff, I do call this a vacation. There are no fire trucks, no fires, no traffic accidents that I must pull people out of.”

“No,” Geoff scoffed. “Instead, there are cliffs, overhanging rocks, and raging rivers. I thought you gave this stuff up after college.”

“Nope,” Evan denied. “I just moved further than Pennsylvania, West Virginia, and the Appalachian Trail.” He looked up at surprised laughter and saw Michael Heeley, Geoff’s long-suffering love, climbing out of their tent.

“Don’t let him gripe too much, Evan,” Michael said. “Geoff’s been whining about being city-bound for too long. Personally, I think this is great!”

“And,” Geoff continued as if his husband hadn’t tried to shame him, “I thought you had a real vacation back in March, when you did the tourist thing with your parents.”

Evan looked out over their campsite. The sun was setting over the ridge they were camped on, and the area was bathed in shades of gold, crimson, and rust. He thought it was worth the cost of the government camping permit to bring his best friend (and his husband) to Arizona for a private cleansing of sorts, and after everything going on in the past six months, Evan was ready to leave his life behind for even just a weekend.

He took a deep breath of the fresh canyon air and turned to face Geoff, who was oddly doing the same. “Man, if you think showing my parents all the tourist traps in and around Denver before they permanently moved to California is a real vacation, you need to get your head on straight. Let’s get the camp stove set up so we can start dinner before the light goes completely away.”

Geoff laughed and waved him off as he fetched a camp stove from the tent he was sharing with Michael. Evan pulled his insulated backpack out of his own tent and started pulling out vacuum sealed pouches of food.

“You’re going to owe me a real dinner after this,” Geoff said as he lit the camp fuel on the stove. “I hope you know that. Do you even have real coffee in there?”

“Don’t insult me, Ratner,” Evan growled playfully as he took a collapsible bucket to the riverbank to retrieve water. Despite Geoff’s earlier words, the river was not raging, and the water gently lapped at the beach-ish area near the trailhead.

“Is that water safe?”

Evan glared at his oldest friend only to find the other man laughing at him. Evan shook his head and poured some of the water into a cook pot to bring it to a boil.

“For your information,” Evan said snootily, “I gave you those LifeStraws for a reason. We also have purifying water bottles. We’re just going to cook with this.”

“Not that I’m not thrilled with the chance to fly halfway across the country and go hiking with a dear friend,” Michael said before Geoff could snark anymore, “but why, exactly, did you invite us? And why are we halfway across the country?”

Evan sighed and sat cross-legged on the ground in front of the camp stove. “I have a problem. No, wait. I was asked a favor, and I could use some advice.”

Geoff and Michael shared a quizzical glance before Geoff asked, “Um, what favor? And asked by who?”

“By whom,” Michael corrected as he knelt on the ground in front of his tent. “And why didn’t we rent camp chairs?”

Evan laughed and tossed a handful of dirt Michael’s way. “Okay, so you know the paramedic friend of mine I told you about, Autumn?”

Geoff shook his head before his eyes widened. “Um, yeah, I think so? Irish, tiny, lesbian?”

Evan nodded. “Yeah, Autumn Kirkpatrick. She’s a paramedic in a different station than mine, but we see each other often at a badge and ladder bar and a dance club we all hang out at. Her girlfriend is kinda cold to me—well, to everyone, actually, but Autumn has loads of friends.”

“Is her girlfriend cold to you because she thinks Autumn might want your bod?” Geoff asked, only partially kidding.

Evan frowned as he thought about the question. “Absolutely not. I mean, I met her and Evelyn at the dance club I joined, and we bonded over being first responders. We’re a small-ish group that all dance together, drink together, commiserate together–you know the deal. Autumn and Evelyn have always been a unit. I was introduced to a few couples, and they were one of them, so that’s how I treat them. I’ve even partnered both of them while dancing, and Evelyn does loosen up somewhat while in the club. Besides, I have more fun flirting with Emily King, who is a firefighter at yet another station.”

Geoff laughed. “I’ll want to hear about her later, but tell me more about this Autumn chick.”

“Really, Geoff?” Michael said dryly.

“You know what I mean. If this lovely person has asked a perplexing enough favor of my best friend-slash-almost brother that he pays for us to fly from California to camp in the freaking desert, then I want to know more about her.”

Evan grinned at Geoff and passed him a plate for his food. “Autumn is actually quite bubbly in personality, which is great for her line of work. We often meet people on the worst day of their lives, so having someone who can maintain a good attitude and a straight face while bandaging someone at an accident site is a good thing.

“And she’s strong, emotionally and physically. We got to talking about our families one night, and hers is…” Evan shook his head. “Her story reminded me of you, Geoff. She’s adopted, first off, and her parents took her in after their dear friend passed from cancer. Then, after she began developing opinions and a personality as a teenager, they went from Mom and Pop to Mother and Father.”

“Geez,” Geoff said, shaking his head. “That’s horrible.”

“Yeah,” Evan agreed. “And they turned against her when she officially came out while in college.”

Geoff winced. “Yeah,” he said bitterly. “It’s hard to maintain a good attitude when that happens. You need a good support system when that happens. I know I got lucky in that regard.”

Evan blushed. “Yeah, well–apparently, Autumn dealt with it by moving from Chicago to Denver and finishing college there. She made her friends and her family from the people she works with.”

“And the girlfriend?” Michael asked.

“Wife,” Evan corrected. “Evelyn Waters, age thirty-eight, five-foot, nine-inches tall, and is a corporate lawyer. She’s tall when Autumn is…not. She’s caucasian and blonde, and Autumn is black with dyed-red braids. Evelyn is extremely serious and almost introverted, but Autumn is outgoing and good-humored. But Evelyn is clearly devoted to Autumn and would give her the world if she asked.”

“How very George Bailey of her,” Geoff laughed. “Is she also a friend of yours, though?”

Evan thought for a moment. “I mean, I think I try to be friends with Evelyn because it’s my nature. Until we had that group heart-to-heart last November, some of the others had a hard time understanding why Autumn would be with someone like Evelyn because they’re so different. And honestly, Evelyn doesn’t go out of her way to be friendly, but that could be the lawyer in her. According to Autumn, Evelyn’s family really isn’t that much better, and she’s built this facade up to deal with that.

“I think we all like her more because we know how much she loves Autumn, but I have been going out of my way to invite both of them to dinner once a month so Tomas can practice cooking for non-family members.” Evan grinned. “Evelyn graciously puts up with it, but I think it’s mostly because Autumn is such a social person. I mean, I know that’s the reason they joined the dance club.”

“I want to hear more about this dance club,” Michael said, “but we’re getting off track. Do you think maybe Evelyn is trying to get to know you better because of Autumn’s favor?”

Evan laughed and brushed his hands over his thighs. “Yeah, considering the favor, that makes sense.”

“Okay, so, what’s the favor?”

Evan nodded and started removing the pouches from the water while Michael passed around forks. “Autumn wants a baby.”

“Pardon?” Geoff exclaimed, almost dropping his dinner.

“No, not like that,” Evan assured. “Autumn asked me to be a donor. She very much wants to be a mother, but she didn’t like the idea of getting a sample from a sperm bank. Something about having a stranger being the father of her child and not knowing the truth about medical history. People can totally lie on those applications, you know, and Autumn doesn’t trust them.”

“Well, at least she asked,” Geoff quipped, and Evan shot him the bird.

“All kidding aside,” Geoff said after they cleaned up after dinner, “Autumn just wants you to jerk into a cup and then let bygones be bygones?”

Evan sighed. “It certainly seems like that. She wanted me to think about it, but she mentioned a contract so that I wouldn’t be on the hook for child support or anything.”

“That is very forward-thinking of her,” Michael said. He was in family law, so he saw all sorts of horrible things where kids were concerned.

“Yeah, I suppose,” Evan said. “I just needed to think about it, and I needed another voice of reason. And fresh air helps me think.”

“And heaven knows there is no fresh air in Denver,” Geoff muttered as he crawled into his tent. “Good night, Evan. We’ll speak of this in the morning.”

“Good night, guys. Thanks for putting up with my nonsense.”

Evan heard Michael laughing when he zipped up his own tent for the night.

They may have been in Arizona, but it was still mid-May and the nights in the canyon were cold. Despite his protests, Geoff was an avid camper and hiker, and he’d jumped at the chance to hike the Soap Creek Trail when Evan called him. It was a rare time when Evan, Geoff, and Michael all had the same time off, so Evan made the reservations and met the two other men at the Marble Canyon Airport earlier that day.

There would be a day of hiking before they made their way back to the lodge near the airport—and Geoff’s ‘real dinner’—and then they would fly back to their respective homes.

Geoff and Michael had balked at Evan footing the entire bill, so they made sure to wire the money for their tickets. Geoff knew that Evan had money due to his family, but he never tried to take advantage. Like Evan, Geoff just enjoyed the chance to spend time with his oldest friend.

~~

The sun was high in the sky by the time the trio had reached the top of Soap Creek Tank, and Evan and Geoff were happily taking selfies with the canyon and mountains behind them. Michael was dragged into many photographs as well, although he took most of his own to forward to his family in Pennsylvania. Evan and Geoff took advantage of the empty trail and played the pro/con game when it came to Autumn Kirkpatrick’s request for a sperm donation.

They were eating sandwiches at the top of the trail when Geoff asked, “Have you decided anything?”

Evan shook his head. “I guess…I guess I’ll do it for Autumn. I mean, I want a family of my own, you know? I want a partner who loves me, and I want to raise kids, but I haven’t found my person yet. Autumn and Evelyn have been together for years, and they seem really solid. And maybe it would be a good thing to help someone have the family they want, just like I hope to have.”

“Has she told anyone else from your friend group?”

“Not from what she said,” Evan replied. “I think her yearning for a family has a lot to do with her abandonment by her parents. Autumn was raised in a Catholic household, so I’m sure that was part of the reason they rejected their lesbian daughter.”

Geoff pointed to Evan and said, “That brings back some horrible memories for me, and I am very grateful that your religion didn’t stand in the way of your bringing me into your home and family. And weren’t you raised Catholic, too?”

Evan chuckled. “Yeah, well, religion is practiced loosely in my family nowadays. I think Daniel still attends church, but I think Helle is Lutheran, so that’s their deal. I doubt Mom has been in a church since she married my dad, but Dad goes on special days. I don’t even think Lina is as devout as she used to be. She still goes for holiday mass, I do know that.”

“Uh, huh,” Geoff said. “And what about you?”

Evan stood up and opened his arms wide, spinning in a circle slowly. “This, Geoff, this is my church. If you can hike up here and not see God, I don’t know what’s wrong with you.”

Michael nodded. “I get it. This place is a little piece of Heaven. So, Autumn has no close family, has a good job, and has a long-term partner, and she wants a baby. I can see why she would have chosen you, Evan, because you are an incredible physical specimen, and your character is above reproach.”

“Seriously,” agreed Geoff, “and if Autumn could ever meet any of your family, she’d know that genetics are on your side.”

“Well, yeah,” Evan said, “except for Daniel’s leukemia when he was a kid.”

“I don’t think that’s hereditary,” Michael said.

Evan shook his head. “No, but you know what is? My dad’s father died of a heart problem, and Magdelina made Daniel get checked for it because it’s a congenital condition. From what Dad told me long ago, Lina made everybody get checked for it, even the men on her side of the family, which made no sense at all. Daniel doesn’t have the gene, and fortunately Dad doesn’t.”

“Do you?” Geoff asked. “Because you’re still young and now would be the time to correct something like that.”

“I have none of the markers,” Evan assured his friend. “And the big thing Daniel and I have in common is our conception. We’re both IVF babies, so maybe those genetic markers were removed? I don’t know. I can only hope Lina makes sure Maddie doesn’t have the markers in case she wants to have a baby someday.”

Evan shook his head and shouldered his backpack, readying to head back down the trail. “Anyway. I think I’ll help Autumn out. Donating to her doesn’t prevent me from having my own kids someday, right?”

Geoff bumped shoulders with Evan before holding his hand out to his husband. “It absolutely does not, my friend. And I’m waiting patiently to be asked to be godfather at some point in the distant future.”

“Distant future?” Evan asked, amused.

“We gotta make sure you find the perfect baby momma, my brother!”

~~

The fertility clinic in downtown Denver was more welcoming than Evan would have thought. He must have uttered those words out loud because the technician in front of him looked over her shoulder with a smile and said, “We’re in the business of making happy families, Mr. Buckley. It would be horrible if we had a cold and unwelcoming atmosphere here.”

“You are absolutely right,” Evan said when she opened the door to a comfy little room and motioned him in.

She handed him a towel, a pack of wet-wipes, and a sealed specimen jar. “Do you require anything else?”

Evan looked around the room and took in the video screen and video player with the questionable movies, and the magazines that were available. He leaned back out and smiled at the technician. “Nope, I’m good, thanks.”

Evan had never put much thought into porn. He liked sex a lot, but he didn’t really care for watching other people have it, and forced intimacy like in those movies was just not for him.

No thanks.

But Evan had always had an active fantasy life. He was a frequent lucid dreamer, had been since he was a child, and could ‘direct’ his dreams like they were movies made just for him. And because Evan knew best what would flip his switch, he was able to produce a fantasy—a false dream, as it were—to become aroused enough to…offer a donation.

Because he was thorough, and because his refractory period was still short enough to be impressive, he produced a second donation just to make sure Autumn got the baby she really wanted.

When he left the glorified cubby hole, Evan was calm and composed.

The same could not be said for the technician when he handed over the specimen jar.

“If she needs another donation, you can call me to set up an appointment,” Evan said on his way out.

He really wanted a beer. He’d done a good thing for a dear friend, but it seemed like a chore, and he wanted a beer. Instead, he stopped by the silly Ninja Warrior Gym that had opened near his condo and worked out for an hour. He had toyed with the idea of auditioning for the American show in Las Vegas, but he’d done it once—and he’d done the original. He had nothing to prove to himself anymore, and he had no desire to go to Las Vegas.

The gym provided enough obstacles to provide a tough workout, and Evan could feel all the burn when he was done. A cute brunette, who had been watching him the entire time he was there, tried to interest him in a quickie in the locker room, but Evan turned her down politely. He had no need for that kind of thing, really. Casual, mostly anonymous sex like that turned him right off. And if casual sex turned him off, casual and public sex was way past that limit. Plus, he was pretty sure sexual release was the last thing his body needed at that point.

The day was slowly turning to night, so he went home and showered before asking Yelena if she wanted to go out dancing. The Mile High Swing Club was going to be hosting a West Coast Swing competition that Yelena really wanted to enter, just for fun, so she was using any excuse to get out and practice. West Coast Swing was a different type of dancing than the raucous, Big Band swing dancing that had originally interested Evan’s cousin, but it was becoming a favorite type of dance for them. Even Tomas, who was partial to Latin dancing and disco rather than Swing, enjoyed the fun improv of West Coast Swing–but he was working on a group project for one of his classes that night. Evan had work the next day, so he promised Yelena that they would not be out too late.

The club was crowded for a weeknight, but Evan and Yelena were not deterred. The Mile High Swing Club had gained a reputation after opening because of the name, so tourists would wander in on weekend nights looking for something they would never find. The ones that stayed enjoyed the music and dancing, and would spread the word when they left, which led to more people coming in just to say they’d been there–and to get the t-shirt. Evan had a couple of those shirts himself, and he wore them proudly when he went out dancing.

Evan danced with Yelena first before she was dragged away by a fellow college student. Then he moved on to another partner—a laughing blonde that had entered with a group of giggling women wearing pink satin sashes that declared them to be a bridal party. His dance partner was the bride-to-be, and she clearly appreciated a dance partner that could do more than shift from foot to foot and bounce to the beat–and that was not looking for a hook-up. When their song was over,the bride laughed and waved him away even as her maid of honor took her place, and Evan was not left without a dance partner for long. He eventually danced with the entire bridal party, making sure they had a good time by offering dance tips that he’d picked up and letting all of them know who in the club would be safe to dance with without being flirted with all night.

Evan could have had his pick of hookups that night, men and women alike, but he wasn’t in the mood. Taking Yelena to the club gave him a polite and plausible excuse for not taking anyone home with him—or for not following someone else home, as he had never brought anyone to the condo he shared with his cousins. Evan just wanted to dance and burn off some energy, and he had no lack of partners. By the time Yelena was ready to go home, he was sweaty and tired and just happy with himself.

But he was still very tired when he turned up for his shift the next day.

“Late night, Buckley?” Ruiz teased, but Evan only nodded.

“Actually, yes, much to my chagrin. I went dancing with Yelena last night.”

“How come you never invite me dancing?” asked Michelle Beatty, another new probie on the shift.

Evan shook his head at her before turning to the duty chart to see what he had to do that day. “It was totally a last-minute thing, Beatty. Yelena’s been stressed about Midterms this semester and I had some stuff going on, so I figured we both could burn off some energy.”

“I could help you burn off some energy,” Beatty cooed, and Evan frowned and backed away slightly.

Before he could say anything, Ruiz butted in with, “I really hope you’re not being inappropriate on the job, Beatty. Don’t you have something you should be doing?”

Beatty frowned and left, Ruiz turned to Evan, who held up both hands and said, “I do not encourage that stuff, man. I have never encouraged that stuff.”

“I know, Buckley,” Ruiz said. “You can’t help what you look like. I’m glad you keep it professional. I also wanted to take the chance to tell you how much I admire what you’re doing for Kirkpatrick over at the One-Five.”

Evan blinked. “I, uh, didn’t know she was talking about that.”

Ruiz shrugged. “She’s not spreading it around who the donor is, but my wife is a good friend of hers. They talk. Um, I think Rosa was this close to volunteering me for that so I’m very glad that didn’t happen.”

Evan laughed. “I’ve seen your kids, Ruiz. They’re cute. Autumn could do worse.”

Ruiz laughed along with him. “Yeah, but it looks like she did better.”

“Man, I’m gonna check the hoses. Barnes on C isn’t watching his team as well as he should be.”

Evan got through the shift with no major injuries, which he counted as a plus, and only a two-hour nap. He really wanted to sleep for longer, but wonky wiring around air conditioners around his district made that impossible. As the mountain city grew warmer with the season, citizens got careless while compensating for the temps, and that meant little house fires that were thankfully not as bad as fires caused by dirty flues in the winter. Evan spent most of that shift holding a hose, rolling a hose, or inspecting a hose.

Twice, he needed to carry a hose into an apartment building and up several flights of stairs.

“I swear, I’m gonna dream about fire hoses tonight,” he muttered once the shift ended.

“Well your dreams might be my nightmares,” Sewell complained. “How many damaged hoses did you find?”

Evan consulted the clipboard hanging next to the supply closet. “There are two with minor damage on truck two, but there is major damage on the big ladder and they’re going to need to be replaced soon.”

Sewell nodded and pulled a requisition form from the file cabinet. “Anything else on the replacement list?”

Evan frowned. “Honestly, some of our ropes have gone missing, and two climbing harnesses are past the repair point.” He turned away from the closet and asked, “Are the other shifts having wild climbing parties when we’re not here?”

Sewell stared at him. “I…don’t think so.”

Sewell opened the supply closet and took the clipboard and began double-checking everything. While he was doing this, and cursing under his breath, the captain for C Shift came over to inquire what he was doing.

“Don’t you trust your team, Sewell?” Barnes asked smarmily.

“Oh, I trust my people just fine, Barnes,” Sewell replied, brandishing the clipboard. “But you might want to do a review on a few of yours.”

Evan looked between the two captains and backed slowly away. “I’m, uh, going to head home, Cap. Unless you need me for anything?”

Sewell glanced at him briefly. “Go ahead, Buckley. Barnes and I are going to have a conversation, and then I think we’ll be calling in Ralleigh from B Shift.”

Evan shook his head and turned away, almost running into Lieutenant Julio Martinez on his way to his jeep.

“What’s wrong, Buckley?”

Evan gestured back toward the bay. “Captain Fight, maybe. I sort of alerted Sewell to the fact that some of the other shifts haven’t been as diligent as they should be.”

Martinez sighed. “Well, that just may have sunk my weekend. If it’s a Captain issue, it’ll soon be a Second issue as well.”

“Sorry,” Evan said when he reached his truck. “I just really take pride in my work.”

“Yeah, I got that, finally,” Martinez admitted. “You weren’t as flashy as a lot of probies try to be, so it was hard to figure you out at first. Now I know you’re just really serious about staying safe on the job.”

“Yeah, well, I’m the only me in my family, so I have to stick around for the rest of them.”

Martinez laughed. “Get out of here and get some sleep. If anything comes of the Captain Fight that you need to know, we’ll tell you next shift.”

~~

“Evan, I need you to watch this rice!”

Evan meandered into the kitchen and leaned against the counter behind his cousin Tomas. “Why? Is it going to do tricks?”

“Ha, ha, you freak,” Tomas muttered. “I need to run out for dessert. Yelena was going to bring it, but she’s running late and might not make it for dinner at all.”

Evan shook his head and dropped his apron over his head. “Why is she running too late for her own good?”

“That stupid project she’s working on just got messed up,” Tomas answered. “She said the school’s computer system lost everybody’s work, so she’s staying behind to tidy her backup so she can shove it in her professor’s mailbox by hand.”

Evan smiled to himself. Yelena was just as hard-working as he was, but she was more artistically inclined. Her degree was going to be in design and decorating, which he admitted she had a knack for. Despite the fact that the condo was mostly furnished when it was purchased, Yelena decorated almost every room in the condo herself, leaving Evan’s space for his own designs, and the place looked great.

Tomas, studying hard for a business degree, was making dinner for his father’s birthday. They were hosting at the condo because Jasper lived in the family quarters at Rubio on the Rockies and they wanted the evening to be more personal. There was also a rumor that Jasper might be bringing a new girlfriend, so Yelena was all a-twitter over it.

“Do you need me to do anything more than watch the rice?”

“I don’t think so,” Tomas said as he headed for the door. “The timer is set on the oven, so maybe take the veggies out when it goes off?”

“Got it. What time is Uncle Jasper getting here?”

Tomas paused at the door. “He’ll be here in half an hour, I think. There might have been a staff meeting that involved cake this afternoon, but he promised me that he would save lots of room for any dinner I cook for him. He’s thrilled that you’re encouraging me to cook. Also, he’s probably bringing a new girlfriend, so can you set the table for five?”

“Are you sure Yelena is just working on her project and not avoiding this dinner?” Evan asked as he began pulling dishes from a cabinet.

Tomas grinned. “Yelena is not that petty. I am, however, and that’s why I’m getting a really fattening Chicago Cheesecake for dessert.”

Evan chuckled when Tomas shut the door behind him. He turned his attention to the rice simmering on the stovetop. Tomas was not the best cook in the world, but he really wanted to do this for his father. Evan had been teaching his cousins how to navigate a kitchen since they moved in together. Evan and Tomas also began taking a pastry class on odd weekends because homemade bread and decent pie crusts were a goal for them. Apparently, the Rubio genes meant flaky pastry was not going to happen, and Evan meant to break that curse.

Having the twins as roomies was oddly comforting. Evan had lived alone while attending college at Carnegie Mellon, and it had suited him at the time. He could come and go as he wanted, bringing sex partners back to his place if he wanted, and he didn’t have to answer to anyone. But he felt a bit lonely, yearning for the family connection. Having his grandmother popping in now and then, as well as having his brother and parents close enough to visit, helped, but Evan was tired of being on his own. That might change after a few years, but at that moment he was happy to be living with relatives.

The condo was Evan’s personal property, thanks to a sneaky purchase by his grandmother, but it had become a home for Yelena and Tomas, as well. Their father paid for their college tuition, books, bills, and food in the condo, but Evan didn’t even charge market rent rates because he didn’t want them to worry about money. Jasper did object, but Evan’s stubbornness won out. The twins needed pocket money so they could be able to go out and have fun instead of burning out in classes. It was something Evan had worried about during his own school adventure, especially since he was working on two degrees at two different colleges. He pushed himself hard, taking classes online between semesters and an extremely full course load during the regular school year. But he also knew when to take a break and have fun, often dragging some of his friends along with him.

Because of all that, Evan was considered mature enough to watch over the twins, but they were mature enough to not need a babysitter. It was more of a comfort thing, and Evan understood that. The twins wanted independence without living in the dorms, but they also didn’t want to get jobs in order to rent an apartment on their own. Not that they couldn’t, but they didn’t really need the stress, and their father knew that.

Cousin Jasper was the youngest son of Magdelina’s youngest brother, and he was the perfect managing director for the family resort in Colorado ski country. He had been born in Brazil but was educated in New York and held dual citizenship because of this. He was as laid-back as a surfer, but very business-savvy, and family was very important to him. His wife, the twins’ mother, died in a car crash just before the twins began high school, and Jasper mourned with the rest of his family rallying behind him. Jasper refused to allow the twins to pull inward and hide away from the world. He took them to see family on school holidays and encouraged them to join school clubs. And when they were getting ready to graduate, Jasper guided them to colleges in Denver, where he would be relocating to, and told them that although he wanted them close to him, he fully expected them to get out in the world and grow as adults.

Evan was happy that Jasper had apparently begun dating again, but he was worried that he wanted his girlfriend to meet the twins now, at his birthday dinner with Evan as a witness, rather than in a private place with just the four of them. And while Evan was going to eat with the family, he had plans to hit a bar with a few coworkers afterwards. Not dancing, because he was too tired for that. There was a firefighter from a different station that Evan was hoping to get to know better, and she was a casual attendee to the Swing Club, but she wasn’t as dedicated to it as Evan was. There was a Badge and Ladder bar downtown, just a casual pub with good bar food and good beer and a darts league that Evan looked in on occasionally, and Emily had said she would be there that evening.

Evan had just removed the roasted veggies from the oven when Yelena rushed through the front door.

“Hey, I thought you were going to be late?”

Yelena huffed as she hung up her coat. “Yes, I was going to be late, but then the college systems came back online, and my project began printing again. From several printers all at once. So my professor got many copies of everybody’s final projects tonight, and I got to come home for dinner.” Yelena looked around. “Where’s Tomas?”

Evan cocked an eyebrow at her. “He’s gone to pick up the dessert you were supposed to bring.”

Yelena slapped her forehead with one hand. “Oh, my god! I totally forgot! Well, nothing for it now, what can I do to help?”

Evan looked around the clean apartment and shrugged. “Um, set the table?”

“Yes, I can do that.”

Evan went back to the kitchen to take the rice off the stove before it over-cooked and began scooping it into a serving bowl. The roasted veggies went into another bowl, and then Evan took the prepared shrimp from the fridge and poured it into a pan with olive oil. Shrimp cooked quickly, so it was always left for last.

By the time the table was set and serving dishes were in place, Tomas was coming in again, and his father was with him. Evan moved forward to greet them when a willowy brunette came up from the rear.

She was gorgeous, with long, wavy brown hair highlighted with streaks of honey-brown, and her green eyes were twinkling with amusement. She looked tall, maybe five-foot, seven- or eight-inches tall, and had a slender build with generous curves.

Evan blinked, stunned, and mentally congratulated Jasper for making such a lovely match.

The woman caught sight of Evan and her smile widened. “You didn’t tell me you had three children, Jasper,” she chided with a husky voice.

Jasper frowned at her and said, “I only have the twins, Nicole. I told you that.” Then Jasper looked across the room and saw Evan in the archway to the dining area and grinned. “This is my cousin, Evan Buckley. Evan, it’s so good to see you! How have you been?”

“I’m good, Jasper. Happy Birthday, and all that!”

“Thank you very much,” Jasper said. “It’s nice to eat dinner away from the hotel, so thank you for opening your home.”

“Buckley?” Nicole inquired. “Not Rubio? Are you related to Jasper’s late wife?”

“No, ma’am,” Evan corrected. “Jasper’s father was my grandmother’s youngest brother. Magdelina is the ‘Buckley’ in this situation, as that was my grandfather’s surname.”

“Ah, so not a very close relation,” Nicole murmured. “I’m Nicole Stevenson. You may call me Nicole, not ma’am; that makes me feel old.”

Evan strode forward and shook her hand. “It’s nice to meet you.” He gestured toward the dining room and said, “You’re just in time; dinner is on the table.”

“Where is my other kid?” Jasper asked, and Yelena poked her head around the corner.

“Sorry! I just needed to change my clothes!”

“Ah, Yelena, allow me to introduce you to Nicole Stevenson. She’s a jewelry designer in Colorado Springs.”

“Ooh, cool!” Yelena gushed. “I love jewelry! Are you wearing any of your designs?”

Evan rolled his eyes as Yelena all but dragged Nicole into the dining room. Tomas chuckled and followed along, leaving Jasper with Evan by the front door.

“Are you on shift tonight?”

Evan shook his head. “No, this is the start of three days off. I do have plans for after dinner, though, so you and I will have to catch up later.”

Jasper nodded. “I understand.” He nodded in the direction of the dining room. “What do you think? Do the twins like her?”

Evan lifted one shoulder casually. “Well, it’s only been ten minutes, so it’s hard to tell. She seems nice.”

Jasper grinned. “She’s very nice, and very intelligent. She rents a boutique space in the main lodge; that’s how we met.”

“Well, if she’s successful enough for that, then you know she’s probably not after your money.”

Jasper inclined his head. “Perhaps not. We have only been seeing each other socially for a few weeks. Meeting the kids now was her idea, so we’ll know how they feel about me dating.”

Evan grinned. “Better get that out of your system, calling them ‘kids’. They’re going to be twenty years old in a few months.”

Jasper sighed. “Lead me to the food, Evan, and make me feel old later.”

Evan laughed. “You’re younger than my father, so suck it up.”

Dinner was nice, with casual conversation around the table and many compliments about the food. Tomas preened, since he did most of the work. After the meal, Evan and Tomas cleared the table and put away any leftovers before starting coffee for dessert.

“She’s really pretty,” Tomas said a little breathlessly. “I wonder what she sees in Dad.”

Evan laughed and knocked his shoulder into the younger man. “Jasper is a very handsome man, Tomas. And you’d better not argue, because you look just like him.”

Tomas rubbed the area just over his left eye and said, “Not just like him, but I’m definitely more like him than Mama.”

Jasper had the same birthmark that Evan did—the Rubio Angel’s Kiss. Jasper’s late wife, Eleni, had dark auburn hair and golden eyes, which she failed to pass to her twins. While Yelena’s features resembled their mother, Tomas had the same broad forehead, square jaw, and slightly pointed nose as his father. Neither Tomas nor Yelena had the birthmark.

Evan shook his head. “I don’t look like either of my parents, Tomas. Of course, Lina said I look like her mother-in-law a bit, so I do have that connection. And your father has more than looks going for him, you know. You do, too.”

Tomas grinned, “Yeah, we do. Smart men attract smart women, and a smart woman is a good thing to have, right?”

“A smart partner is definitely a prize; I’ll grant you that. Are you going to tell Jasper about Liza?”

Tomas blushed. “I’ll tell him about Liza if we make it past this semester, okay? She’s been really crazy about finals, and I’ve barely seen her in weeks. She called yesterday to tell me that she was going to see her family in Florida at the end of the semester, so I won’t see her until July or August.”

“You can call her, can’t you?”

Tomas sighed. “I can, but I probably won’t.” He ran a hand through his hair, mussing it. “Every time I’ve tried to talk to her recently, she blows me off. When we started dating, I thought she was as serious as I was, but now I’m not so sure. I know we’re young, but I thought we really had something. Now I’m going to wait for her to make a move.”

Evan clapped him on the shoulder. “That might be for the best, Tomas. If she’s as interested in you as you are in her, then she’ll let you know. Just don’t let her play any stupid dating games with you, okay?”

“You mean like ignoring me for ages and then asking why I haven’t called after I try to move on?” Tomas scrunched his nose and shook his head. “I had a girl do that in high school—right before prom, after I asked someone else. Man, I hate that game!”

“Yeah, that’s the game I’m talking about. Some women never grow out of playing that one.”

When the coffee was finished, Evan prepared a tray with coffee fixings while Tomas plated the cheesecake on another tray, and Evan led the way back into the dining room.

“Cheesecake!” Nicole moaned. “My hips may hate you all!”

“I don’t think you have anything to worry about,” Jasper said softly. “Just enjoy yourself.”

Nicole nodded, looking at Evan with a smile, and said, “You are right. It’s silly to worry about such silly things.”

Evan frowned a little but cleared his face before serving coffee.

“While I would love to stay for dessert, I do have plans. It was nice to meet you, Nicole. Jasper—I’ll stop by your office later this week.”

Jasper nodded. “Have a good night, Evan.”

Evan gave a little wave before going to his suite to change into snug-fitting jeans and a dark blue henley, with his black boots finishing the outfit. Pocketing his wallet, Evan headed for the door. The night was warm, being late May, and the streets were full of people rushing around after work and classes. Evan had called for a taxi before leaving the condo, and it was waiting on the street when he emerged from his building. There was no way he was driving that night. His brain was too tired and he wanted a drink or two to wind down before his days off.

The drive to the bar was blessedly short and Evan was glad to see the neon signs in the window when they arrived. He needed a night out. His cousins, whom he loved dearly, had been driving him crazy with their finals panic and planning for their visit to Brazil during the school break. They still had two weeks to go but they were acting like they had no time at all. Clearly, they missed their family.

Evan didn’t really want to hear about how happy Tomas and Yelena were to be visiting extended family for a month. Evan hadn’t seen his own father for major holidays since he graduated high school, even though they tried to visit during the year. During Evan’s college years, his mother had begged for holiday vacations, and Philip Buckley had not been able to refuse the requests, especially when the location was somewhere warm and exotic. Evan made do with spending quiet Christmas mornings with Magdelina and Christmas week visits to Daniel in Baltimore, while his summer holidays were usually spent on the river–or in some class or another, getting another rescue certification.

Since moving to Denver, Evan hadn’t spent holidays with any of his family. Mostly it was because of his work schedule. First responders didn’t have the luxury of taking holidays off. Evan’s shift was working both Thanksgiving and Christmas that year, but he was thankfully off for the Fourth of July. Considering he got shot the previous New Year’s Eve, Evan had no trouble imagining the gunfire he would have had to deal with on Independence Day. Unfortunately, while Evan’s shift would be off the next Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays, that meant that he would be working the following Fourth. He cringed mentally just thinking about it.

But this night was for merry-making, and Evan immediately spotted several friends at a table in the corner when he entered the bar. He waved at them before heading to the bar and ordering a beer from the tap selection. Once he had his drink in hand, he moved carefully through the growing crowd to his friends.

“Hey,” said Paul Savitch, a fireman from the One-Five. “Glad you could make it.”

“Yeah,” Evan said as he slid into a chair. “I’m just happy to be out. The cousins were driving me nuts, and their father was over for dinner.” He sipped his beer and sighed happily. “Jasper brought a new girlfriend to meet his kids for his birthday. I am so glad to not be in the middle of that.”

Paul laughed and passed a bowl of peanuts across the table. “Family is crazy, right?”

“Some more than others,” Evan agreed.

“Speak for yourself,” Adam Lachey, one of Paul’s squad-mates, griped. “My family is wonderful!”

“Then why are you out with us instead of home with them?” Evan wondered.

Adam scowled. “The mother-in-law is over. My wife is a lovely, beautiful woman, but sometimes I wonder how she got that way.”

“Self-defense?” Paul suggested, and Evan laughed.

“Hey, handsome,” said Emily King, another firefighter from Paul’s station, as she slid onto a chair next to Evan. “I was hoping to see you.”

Evan tipped his glass to her. “Same here.”

Paul rolled his eyes and said, “Here we go with the flirting.” He stood up and grabbed his own empty glass. “My round—who’s in?”

Lachey and Erica each raised a finger, but Evan shook his head. “You know me, man,” he said. “I’m pacing, but I’ll get the next round.”

Paul strode toward the bar and Erica slid her chair closer to Evan, making room for a few others to join their little group. Conversation flowed easily once Paul returned, and they were soon all joking about silly calls they’d been on in the past week. They joked about the silly calls because the serious calls were often too intense, and nobody liked to mention that stuff on a fun night out.

“So, you up for some darts, Muscles?” Emily asked.

Evan finished his beer and pushed the glass aside. “Sure. Let’s see if my aim has improved since the last time.”

Emily took Evan by the arm and pulled him to the dart boards on one side of the bar. There were people playing pool at the billiard tables near the dart boards, and two other occupied dart boards, but Emily found an empty one in the back, near the restrooms.

“I’ll even let you go first,” she offered, handing Evan the rubber-tipped darts.

Evan laughed and took aim with his first dart, scoring thirty-five points on his turn.

Emily applauded him with a mocking smirk and Evan handed her the darts.

They played three rounds, and Emily won two of them. Evan hugged her in congratulations, and Emily kissed the corner of his mouth.

“Let’s get our drinks, Muscles,” she whispered in his ear.

Evan blushed but led the way back to the table. Several other people had joined them, including Autumn Kirkpatrick and Evelyn Waters. Evan greeted the two women with a happy smile before checking to see how many beers he was buying for his round. Emily was still on her first drink, but several others requested new brews, so Evan headed to the bar.

Autumn offered to go with him to help carry the glasses and after he placed the order, she placed her hand on his shoulder to bring him down to her level and kissed his cheek.

“What was that for,” he asked curiously, glancing around to see if anyone he knew had seen.

“Just another thanks,” she replied. “I just got a positive pregnancy test this morning!”

Evan grinned. “That’s incredible, Autumn! I’m happy for you. Now you really have something to be thankful for this coming Thanksgiving.”

Autumn laughed and hugged his arm. “I’m lucky to have a friend like you.”

They returned to the table, each carrying four glasses, and Autumn left his side in favor of Evelyn, who saluted Evan with her glass. Evan nodded back as Emily slid onto a chair close to Evan.

“What’s that about?” she asked casually.

“Nothing much,” Evan replied. “Just thanking me for a favor.”

“Mmmm, so you’re the type to do favors?”

“Only for really good friends,” he joked. “I mean, I do have a utility vehicle, but I don’t volunteer to help people move.”

Emily laughed, which was his intention. He managed to deflect any queries about the ‘favor’ and Autumn wasn’t talking, either. Evelyn was as cool as ever, so nobody even bothered to ask her about it.

“I was really hoping to go dancing tonight,” Emily pouted, “but nobody wanted to go with me.”

Evan looked at her with a raised eyebrow. “Really? You should have messaged me about it. I’m tired, but I would have gone with you.”

“Well, now,”Emily purred with a smile, “I appreciate that, but I’m pretty tired as well. Next time, yeah?”

Evan nodded. “Yeah, sure. But it’ll have to be much later. I’ve got a full list of chores to do around the house the next three days, and then I’m on a full forty-eight after that.”

“Yeah,” Emily sighed. “My squad has the same hours this week. My mother was complaining about not seeing me much, so I’m going to be helping her paint her guest room tomorrow. Not a very relaxing day off.”

“At least I’m off for the Fourth,” Evan stated with a grin. “Maybe I’ll have a cook-out. Of course, I don’t actually own a grill as of yet, but I can fix that.”

Emily stared at him for a long moment before swallowing the last of her beer. “That’s just nuts, you know that, right?”

“Yeah, I know that,” Evan confirmed. “But until I got used to my surroundings and actually made friends, having a party at my place just didn’t seem important. I don’t usually do holiday parties of any kind, unless my grandmother drags me into one. And the last holiday that was worth celebrating was New Years, and I ended up getting shot on a call that night.”

“Wow,” Emily laughed huskily. “Only you, Muscles. Only you. Of course, I’d love to see that scar some time.”

Evan blinked and took a hearty drink of his own beer. “Well, we’ll see.” He checked his watch before groaning. “I had a hell of a day today, and I’ve got a list of stuff to do tomorrow, so I need to head out.”

“Me, too,” Paul interjected. “Wanna split a cab?”

“Yeah, okay,” Evan agreed. He looked at Emily and asked, “You in?”

“Yeah,” she said with a sigh. “I almost miss the days of staying out all hours and partying when I was in school. Adulting sucks.”

“Here, here,” Paul said with a smile. “I’m just an old fogey, I suppose.”

Evan laughed and placed his empty glass on the table. “I think we’re all young fogeys, pal. But I fully intend to live long enough to become an old fogey.”

The trio said their good-byes to the dwindling group and headed for the exit, where taxis were lined up along the curb. Paul opened the rear door and slid all the way across the back seat, allowing Emily to follow with Evan bringing up the rear.

Paul gave his address, which was closer to the bar, and they rode along in silence until his stop. Paul gave Evan the cash for his share of the fare and bade them good night, leaving Emily room to move aside.

But she didn’t move.

Instead, she wrapped her arms around one of Evan’s arms and leaned her head on his shoulder. “You could always stay at my place,” she offered.

Evan only shook his head. “I’m not trying to assume anything, but I’m not in the mood for a one-night stand.”

Emily hummed softly. “What are you in the mood for?”

“I don’t know,” he admitted. “I want more than casual, but I’m not looking for ‘ever after’ just yet. I think I outgrew sleeping around a long time ago, and I didn’t even do it then, really.”

Emily squeezed his arm tightly for a moment. “I get that,” she said, and then was silent for a few minutes. “Full disclosure, no bullshit?”

“Okay,” Evan said with a frown. “Full disclosure, no bullshit.”

“I…just got out of a really serious relationship. We had just moved in together. In fact, I think we were close to being engaged.”

“What happened?”

“I really wanted the ever after, you know? But Stan really wanted to sleep with anything with a skirt, and then to come home to me.” Emily laughed harshly. “He wasn’t even discrete about it. I walked in on him screwing his secretary, of all the cliches, and then I turned around and kept walking. We were together for five years. It was his idea for me to move in, and he said all the right things, although I have no idea how he expected that to work, what with his revolving mattress.

“But I really, really like you, Evan. And I’d like to see if we have anything…just anything. Okay?”

Evan nodded slowly. “Okay, that is very fair. So, how about we sober up, get our next shifts over with, and go dancing? Not at the Swing Club, but somewhere we probably won’t run into anyone who knows us. And maybe more? After we get to know each other better.”

The taxi slowed and pulled up to a curb, signaling Emily’s stop. She reached into her pocket and pulled out a few bills to give to Evan before kissing the corner of his mouth again.

“That sounds like a good plan, Muscles.”

Evan laughed and waved her off before the taxi drove off again, this time taking Evan to his condominium building.

Chapter Ten: 2013 Continued

“What has you in such a good mood, Buckley?”

Evan looked up from his phone and turned to Jay Anderson, one of the engineers on his shift. “My sister just joined the family Facebook group.”

“You have a family Facebook group?”

“You have a sister?”

Mitch Degas and Michelle Beatty spoke at the same time, but Evan answered Degas first. “I have a sister and a brother, but my sister just…dropped off the face of the earth a long time ago, and I haven’t spoken to her since I was fifteen.” Evan then turned to Beatty and asked, “And what’s wrong with a family Facebook group?”

Beatty shrugged. “It’s just a lot, I guess. I thought Facebook groups were for hobbies or things like that.”

Evan shook his head. “It’s not a lot. I literally have family all over the world, and the family group is the only easy way to let everyone know important things.”

Anderson stared at him for a moment before saying, “I’m not sure if you just used ‘literally’ incorrectly or not.”

Evan laughed. “My grandmother is the youngest of four children, and the only daughter in her family, and she’s the only one that only had one child. Her oldest brother had six children, I think, and the second oldest had four. Her youngest brother had five children by two different wives, and his youngest son is the father of the cousins I share a condo with. We are just spread across the globe and writing letters or placing phone calls for birthdays or anniversaries was tiresome. The Facebook group was the best solution.”

“Do you actually know all of your relatives?” Anderson asked.

Evan shook his head. “Not really. I just got back from a family reunion of sorts in Peru, but it was mostly heads of family that were there. My grandmother tries to get me to those meetings as much as possible. So, of course I’ve met some of the family in Peru and Brazil, but I’ve never been to Spain to meet the ones that live there, and there are a few that live in Switzerland now. And as silly as it sounds, I grew up just a few hours from a contingent in New Jersey, and I never met any of them.”

Anderson nodded slowly. “Right. Family Facebook group.”

Evan shrugged. “Most of the family follow me on Insta, too, which is where I post my vacation stuff. They like seeing what I’m up to when I’m not working.”

“So—your sister?” Lachey hedged.

Evan sighed. “Maddie is the oldest and is a year older than Daniel. She had some trauma way back when, physical, mental, and emotional, and my grandmother arranged for her to go to a private clinic in Switzerland for medical healing and therapy. She never came home, and Lina said she’s been in Venice for a while. I really haven’t seen or spoken to her since I was fifteen years old.”

“So her joining the Facebook group is a good thing?”

“I hope so.”

Evan sighed again and put his phone in his pocket before locking his locker. He joined the rest of the squad in the kitchen for the pre-shift meeting. He poured a cup of coffee and took a seat next to Ruiz as Sewell began his announcements. Evan paid attention as best he could, but his thoughts kept returning to Maddie.

There had only been a general notification that Maddie Buckley had joined the group, so Evan knew that she dropped her married name, which was a very good idea. Knowing it was a futile exercise, Evan often wished that Maddie had never married the man that eventually tried to kill her. Evan barely remembered his sister, but what he did remember was that Maddie had always been quick to laugh and make merry, and she was such a caring person and always had time for her youngest sibling. Then she went off to college and Evan barely saw her after that.

He wondered if they would have anything in common now.

Evan finished his coffee and joined Carlos Walker in the vehicle bay where they were going to perform an oil change and basic maintenance on the ladder truck. Before joining the Fire Department, Evan only knew how to check his own oil and to change a tire if needed. Working on the department vehicles gave him the impetus to learn more than the basics for his personal vehicle and he now performed his own oil changes, brake repairs and replacements, and basic engine work. He toyed with the idea of getting repair certification, but it really wasn’t needed for his job. He wasn’t an engineer and didn’t want to become one.

They had just finished topping the oil when the alarm blared, causing Evan and Walker to run to their lockers for their turnouts before climbing back into the ladder truck for the call.

“Our timing could be better,” Walker quipped, and Evan grinned.

“I dunno—we could still have the oil pan uncovered.”

“Don’t even joke about that,” Sewell muttered as they pulled out of the bay.

The shift moved slowly after that, with one call after another all day until their dinner hour. Since nobody felt like cooking, Evan and Ruiz were volunteered to go out for hot subs from a local diner. Beatty tried to go along with them, but they took Ruiz’s truck and there wasn’t room.

“What is it with that woman?” Ruiz growled as they pulled out of the parking lot. “She’s been flirting with everybody lately.”

“I have no idea,” Evan said. “She almost climbed into my lap a while ago, but I pushed her off and complained to Martinez. I was very close to complaining to Sewell about it, but Martinez said he’d handle it.”

Ruiz glanced sideways at Evan and snorted. “Yeah, well, I can see why she’s flirting with you. But why the hell does she try it with me?”

Evan shook his head. “You’re a good-looking guy, Arnold. Plus, you’re honest and loyal and deeply committed to your wife. I’ve heard that a good man like that will attract other women because they’re looking for that kind of thing.”

“The irony about that is, if I did mess around with one of those other women, I wouldn’t be the type of man they’d want.”

“I never said there was logic in that argument,” Evan laughed. “Ever since I’ve begun dating Emily King, lots of women are looking at me sideways. And more than a few men, too.”

“Yeah, well, I think most of us old-timers knew Emily when she was practically engaged to Stan Lange, so we all know how badly she took the cheating. If she’s willing to date you, then you must have passed some sort of test. It’s a good thing, I think. Emily is kind of hard-nosed, but she’s a good woman.”

“She is,” Evan agreed. “Neither one of us is looking to make things permanent, but I like the idea that we could make it work eventually. Of course, she still dominates me at the dartboard, so I stay humble.”

Ruiz laughed. “Yeah, she’s a sharp-shooter or something.”

The sandwich run was quick because Sewell called in the order when they were still in the truck, returning from the last call, so Evan happily took his roast beef sub from the pile and retreated to the lounge with his phone.

Maddie had not posted anything on the Facebook group, and she did not have a public profile. Evan debated sending a private message before deciding against it. If Maddie wanted to reach out to him personally, she could do it. Evan would never turn away contact with a sibling, but he was adult enough to know that making that kind of first move was beyond him. What would he even say to her after all this time, anyway?

No, it was best if she reached out first. Evan could always answer a question, but he never knew if the one he was asking was too personal.

While he was scrolling the family group, he received a text from Emily, asking if he wanted to get together the next night. Since Evan was caught up on his housework, he agreed. Laundry would not take too long after his shift and he would be fully rested by late morning. Evan asked what she had in mind, and Emily suggested hitting a new wine bar that had opened near Sun Valley and maybe dancing. He quickly agreed with the plan and pocketed his phone.

There were two more calls before the end of the shift and Evan was looking forward to a hot shower and his own bed. He was pulling his bag from his locker when Beatty sidled up next to him and ran one finger down his arm.

“You look so good, Evan,” she purred. “Maybe we can keep each other company today.”

Evan jerked away from her and stood up. “Beatty, you are seriously in danger of creating a hostile work environment,” he growled. “If I have to report you formally, it won’t end well for you.”

Beatty laughed. “Don’t front, Buckley. You love the attention. Why else would you wear those tight shirts?”

“Beatty, I’m not going to pretend I didn’t hear that!”

Evan turned to the locker room door and found Sewell standing in the doorway with his arms crossed. Beatty turned furiously red in the face, but she stepped away from Evan.

“Sir,” she tried, “this is just a friendly chat. Nothing wrong here.”

Sewell just shook his head. “I don’t think there’s a person in this entire firehouse that believes that, Beatty, so why don’t you follow me to the kitchen and we’ll discuss your options from this point.”

Beatty crossed her arms over her chest. “I’m sure I don’t know what you mean, sir.”

Sewell jerked his thumb over his shoulder. “You know, or you will soon. I’m not the only one to hear you being inappropriate in here.”

Sewell turned and stalked away, yelling for Beatty to follow him. Evan looked around and saw that Anderson and Lachey were standing in the bay just outside the locker room. He grabbed his bag and locked his empty locker before crossing the bay.

“I swear, I have no idea why she’s fixated on me, but she’s going to get fired if she keeps it up.”

Lachey winced. “That…is actually not true.”

“What do you mean,” Evan asked with a frown.

“Well,” Lachey said quietly, “the Chief had just come in for a meeting, and he overheard Beatty making a move.”

“Oh, um, wow?”

“Yeah, no,” Lachey hissed. “The Chief was pissed. We had a situation a couple of years before you got hired; this seasoned female firefighter was hitting on all the male probies at Station 313, for maybe three years. If they complained, she just said it’s impossible for a woman to sexually harass a man and it was just sour grapes when she turned them down.

“And then she tried it on Jacob Bailey, whose mother is Noreen Garrity-Bailey.”

“The Chief’s daughter?” Evan guessed.

“Yup. The Chief’s very gay grandson followed five generations into the Denver Fire Department and was sexually harassed at his very first station during his probationary year.”

Evan’s eyes widened in surprise. “I guess her line about the guy complaining because she turned him down didn’t go well.”

“Not at all,” Lachey confirmed. “And she is no longer employed by the DFRD—or employable by the City of Denver. And considering the way first responders stick together, I very much doubt she would be able to join another department in another city.”

Evan shook his head. “I’ll never understand working so hard for a career like this and then shooting yourself in the foot. Unless you think Chief Garrity needs to talk to me, I’m going home to take a hot shower.”

“No, man,” Lachey said. “There were enough witnesses to this debacle that they won’t need you. Just don’t be surprised if Beatty isn’t here for the next shift.”

“I won’t be surprised,” Evan said as he turned toward the parking lot, “but I will be grateful.”

Evan spent a luxurious time in the shower, washing away the stress of the shift. He left the steam-filled bathroom and dressed in comfy sweatpants and a threadbare t-shirt before gathering his laundry for the wash. His probationary period was almost over and he’d gotten a routine for how to deal with work laundry over regular laundry by asking the seasoned firefighters on his squad. There were many recommendations and bits of advice offered.

Tomas and Yelena were both at class, so Evan had the condo to himself for at least a few hours. Once his wash cycle was started, Evan dropped onto the sofa in the main living room for a much-needed nap. His bed might have been the better option, but the sofa was closer to the laundry area, and he wanted to hear when the washer stopped. It was also closer to the snacks in the kitchen, which he went for before his nap.

The nap did revive him, and he got his clean clothes dried and put away before his cousins returned from class. Evan began dinner and Yelena joined him in time to set the table. They talked about her classes and his hectic shift, but he never mentioned the predator at his job.

He only wanted to forget the entire thing anyway.

Evan was just changing into his dancing clothes when Emily called.

“Hey, I was thinking about you,” he said with a smile.

“Oh, really? Were you thinking anything good?”

Evan laughed. “It’s always something good,” he assured.

“I’m so glad to hear that,” Emily said. “So—about tonight.”

“You change your mind about going out?”

“Maybe. Would it be so bad if we just stayed in? I had a hell of a shift today.”

Evan snorted. “I hear that. You want me to come over?”

“I’ll supply the wine, and we can trade back rubs.”

“Yeah, that sounds better than a wine bar and a noisy club.”

“I probably have a better music selection, too. See you in a bit?”

“I’m already on my way.”

Evan quickly decided against his favorite silk button-down and pulled on his favorite rafting sweatshirt before grabbing his leather jacket and keys. The late September weather was turning chilly and Evan had heard a rumor about early snow.

“I’m out, guys,” he called out as he opened the front door. “Don’t wait up.”

Just for fun, Evan stopped for a small flower bouquet before he continued to Emily’s apartment building and parked in the underground garage. The elevator ride to the third floor was blessedly quiet, with no muzak and no other passengers, and Evan found himself bouncing in place before the doors slid open.

Emily had to have been waiting for him because her door opened before he reached it, and he held out the flowers with a smile.

“You are such a gentleman!” Emily said as she took them, and she lifted on her toes to kiss his cheek.

“I think you deserve something nice after a hard shift,” Evan demurred. “And I think I deserve to spend time with a lovely lady after my hard shift.”

Emily laughed. “Does September bring out the stupid in this city, or what?”

Evan toed off his shoes and followed Erica to the kitchen, where she put the flowers into a vase with water. “I think it was Labor Day,” Evan said as he busied himself by opening the wine and pouring out two generous glasses. Emily turned on the stereo, playing a light jazz CD, and took one of the glasses.

“Let’s cuddle,” she suggested. “I don’t have the energy for dancing.”

Evan grinned and took her hand, leading her to the squishy sofa in the great room. He sat first, leaning back against the corner of the sofa and spreading his legs before pulling her down to sit between his legs. Emily leaned back against his chest and sighed happily.

“I love how solid you are, Muscles. I could just wrap you around me all day.”

Evan tipped his head forward and pressed a kiss to the side of her neck, just behind her ear. “I like wrapping around you, so that works for me.”

They just sat there, sipping wine, and listening to the music and decompressing from their hectic jobs. After a while, Emily’s glass was empty, so she leaned forward to set it on the coffee table. Instead of sitting back, she reached out and grabbed Evan’s glass and set it next to hers. Then she twisted slightly and straddled his lap, wrapping her arms loosely around his neck.

Evan rested his hands on her hips and smiled up at her. “I thought you were tired.”

“You revved me up,” she said with a smirk.

“Did I? I supposed I should do something about that.”

Emily leaned forward and pressed her lips against Evan’s, kissing him softly. And then kissing him again.

Evan groaned and tightened his grip on her hips before reaching up and running his fingers through her hair. Emily deepened the kiss, running her tongue over his bottom lip before giving it a tiny nibble. Emily reached up and cupped his cheek as her mouth opened to his probing tongue. Evan wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her tight to his chest and Emily sank into his embrace.

She pulled back slightly and looked into Evan’s eyes. “I love your mouth, Evan. The way you kiss just burns me up.”

In response, Evan surged forward and kissed down her throat to her collar bone. Emily pulled away and whipped her shirt off, revealing pert breasts with hard, pink nipples. Evan huffed a sharp laugh before again diving forward to take one nipple into his mouth. Emily moaned and clutched at his head, holding him to her breast as she fisted his hair.

“Yessss!” she hissed, and she ground her pelvis against his hips. “I love your mouth!”

Evan chuckled against her breast, and he bit down lightly on her nipple before moving to her other breast, giving it the same attention. Emily dropped her hands to his shoulders, and she began pulling at his shirt.

“Off, off, off,” she chanted, and Evan pushed her back slightly so he could pull his shirt off. Emily sighed happily and ran her fingers over his chest, lingering over his left pec. “I love this tattoo,” she said as she traced the lines of the compass rose on his chest. “What does it mean? To you, I mean.”

“Um, I got it as a reminder to find my way in the world.”

“Well, I’m glad you found your way to me.” Emily dipped her head down to kiss him again. “Very glad.”

“Mmm, yeah, me too.”

Evan’s hands were not idle as they kissed. He stroked up and down her back before bringing a hand around to cup a breast, teasing the nipple again with his thumb. In response, Emily reached down and pinched his own nipple between her fingers, causing him to gasp. He kissed his way from breast to breast, sucking each nipple in turn. Emily placed her hands on his shoulders and pushed down, indicating that she wanted him to move. He held her hips tightly, lifting slightly and kissing from breast to navel, dipping his tongue into the shallow depression.

“I want your mouth on me,” she begged, pushing at his shoulders.

Evan looked up at her and asked, “You want this here, or in the bedroom?”

Emily leaned forward and kissed his mouth roughly as she pushed at the waistband of her own yoga pants. “Here, now,” she demanded.

“I don’t have a dam,” Evan admitted, frustrated.

Emily smirked and said, “I’m clean. Got the test back two days ago.”

Evan’s eyes brightened and he lifted her from his lap to help her remove her pants. Pushing them just past her knees, Evan slouched back into the sofa cushions and pulled her up to his shoulders. She was completely bare beneath the yoga pants, and he stroked her mons gently with trembling fingers.

“This is new,” He murmured, stroking the hairless skin over her mound before dipping his fingers between her legs, finding her soaked to his touch.

“I didn’t want anything between us,” she panted. “I need to feel all of you.”

Evan stroked the damp skin, spreading her labia and dipping inside of her. He pulled her over his shoulders, spreading her legs wider, and lifted his head to kiss between her legs. He kissed her thighs gently, teasing her, before kissing her labia. He licked gently at her nether lips, sucking softly to make her moan.

Evan brought one hand between her legs, using his fingers to spread her lips so that he could lick deeply toward her clit.

Emily moaned loudly and fisted her hands into his hair, but she did not pull at him. Evan licked and kissed her, savoring the salty flavor. Licking her clit over and over, Evan pushed one finger into her leaking opening, stroking in and out to match her keening cries. Evan gripped her bare ass to hold her still as he stroked inside her with three fingers of his other hand, his mouth firmly attached to her clit.

Suddenly, Emily cried out and jerked against him as her orgasm hit her. Evan licked and stroked until Emily calmed down and pulled away from him. She slid down his body and kissed him, tasting her own arousal on his lips.

“You are too good at that,” she purred, and he pulled her into a deeper kiss.

“I’m very glad you enjoyed it,” he said with a smirk, and he sat up and pulled her into his embrace. “I never got to finish my wine.”

Emily laughed and reached out to grab his glass, handing it to him before kissing his throat. “There, you go, handsome,” she whispered.

“Thank you, lovely lady.”

Evan swallowed the rest of his wine before sitting the glass on the floor in front of the sofa. “Not that this wasn’t fun, but aren’t you cold?”

Emily laughed and stood up to fully remove her pants before grabbing a blanket off the back of the sofa and wrapping it around herself and sitting back in Evan’s lap. “Now, I’m not cold.”

“No,” Evan agreed with a laugh. “But you are a bit nuts. It’s okay, though, because I like people who are a bit nuts.”

Emily snuggled into him, tucking her head under his chin, and kissed his chest. “You know what I like?”

Evan hummed. “Well, I’m pretty sure you like oral sex.”

Emily laughed again and she swatted his leg playfully. “Yes, but I really like that you don’t just assume that you’re going to get laid right now.” She kissed his tattoo and stroked her fingers across his bare stomach. “We’ve been dating for a couple of months now, and we’ve had sex…not as often, but you never assume that you’re going to get laid.”

Evan pushed Emily off his chest and frowned at her. “What are you getting at, Erica? I mean, I was taught actual manners when I was growing up, but…do you want me to assume you owe me something?”

Emily huffed and ran her fingers through her hair. “No. But other guys…”

“I’m not other guys, Emily,” he said calmly. “I thought you didn’t want someone like that, especially after your last serious relationship.”

“And I don’t,” she assured, stroking her fingers over his bottom lip. “I really like you, but you must admit that you’re practically a unicorn in the sex department. You’re attentive and extremely polite, and you take no for a definite answer every time. Every. Time. I just feel so lucky to have you in my life, and sometimes I feel like I don’t deserve it.”

Emily frowned and pulled away from him to sit on the other side of the sofa. “I’m not saying this well.”

Evan reached to the floor and found her discarded clothes. “Do you want to be dressed for this conversation?”

“No,” she pouted. “But I want more wine, please.”

“Okay, I’ll be right back.”

Evan grabbed both wine glasses and took them to the kitchen, but he only returned with one filled with wine. Emily’s eyes narrowed as she accepted her glass, and she took a long drink as he settled back onto the sofa. She pulled the blanket tighter around her, but Evan snorted and pulled her into his arms.

“Now, what is this all about, Emily? Because I thought we were having a lovely time.”

Emily sighed. “One of the last calls I had…there was a woman who was badly injured. It was a car accident, but she was the passenger, and she had a massive head wound. The male driver was trapped in the car by the steering column, but she was easy to extract.

“Anyway, we got her to the ambulance and on her way by the time the other guys cut the door on the car to extract the driver, and the whole time he was bitching about how she deserved to get messed up because he paid for a nice meal and she told him she wouldn’t sleep with him, and they kept arguing about it in the car, and he didn’t notice the red light because he was so mad, and now his car was a wreck and it was all her fault.”

She took another drink of her wine and rested her head on Evan’s shoulder. “I just hate men like that, and women are faced with that every. Fucking. Day. Oh, poor baby—you had to pay for dinner and a movie. Meanwhile, we must wonder if the nice guy we went out with will try to kill us after that nice dinner.”

Evan stroked her shoulder gently as he cuddled her into his arms. “I know, really. And I understand, which is why I never assume anything.” He huffed a laugh and said, “When you invited me here for wine and better music, I was sort of hoping for Benny Goodman instead of Kenny G, but I never assumed anything else was on the agenda.”

Emily pulled back and scowled at him. “I know we met at the Swing Club, and we have fun dancing there, but you really like Benny Goodman?”

Evan shrugged. “I was mostly raised by my grandmother, and she’s a huge fan of big band swing. She always said you couldn’t feel sad listening to Benny Goodman.”

“Right,” Emily said with a frown. “I suppose you can’t. And way to derail my fury.”

Evan kissed her forehead and smiled. “I would never try to derail your fury, Emily. Frankly, that stuff pisses me off, too, and I never understood why some men can’t be respectful. Some women, either, because I’ve been having an issue like that.”

“An issue like what?”

Evan sighed. “Now I feel like an ass for mentioning it, but our other probie, Michelle Beatty, has been working hard at getting into my pants and it’s driving me crazy. That woman can’t take ‘no’ for an answer, and it finally bit her in the ass at the end of the shift.”

“What…happened at the end of your shift?”

“She tried the seduction trick while I was grabbing my stuff from my locker, but she had witnesses.”

“Witnesses?” Emily whispered. “Who, um, what?”

Evan pulled back and looked Emily in the face. “Chief Garrity was in the house for a meeting, and he heard the whole thing. I’ve heard Garrity doesn’t take kindly to sexual harassment, so I doubt Beatty will be finishing her probationary period with our house. And why do you look like you’ve seen a ghost?”

Emily quickly drained her wine and stood up to turn off the stereo. “Um, I know Michelle Beatty, actually. We were friends in high school until she moved away, and we met up again two years ago at a friend’s wedding.”

She turned to face him and gripped the blanket tighter. “We go to the same gym now, and she told me that there was a guy that she was interested in, but he was completely oblivious. I, um, suggested that she be more…direct…in her approach. I had no idea that she was talking about you. She never said her mystery man was a coworker.”

Evan sighed and ran his hands over his face. “Well, now you can tell her the reason I’m oblivious to her attention, Emily.” He reached down and retrieved his shirt, pulling it over his head.

“Are you mad?” Emily asked, distressed. “Are you leaving?”

“I’m not mad at you, Emily, but I am leaving because neither one of us is in a good headspace to continue this date.”

He crossed the room and took her into his arms and kissed her gently. “I’m really not mad at you, okay?”

Emily nodded. “Okay. Call me when you get home so I know you arrived?”

“I will. And we’ll go out again later this week, okay? Something easy, with no expectations.”

Emily nodded. “That sounds good.”

~~

Evan sat across from Emily and watched as she lifted the fork to her mouth. She raised her eyebrows in query before opening her mouth.

Evan laughed at her. “Go on! You’ll like it, I promise. I grew up making traditional paella.”

Emily took a bite and chewed slowly before moaning softly. Swallowing, she said, “Oh, my god! This is wonderful!” She quickly ate another forkful. “I can’t believe I finally found a guy that can cook!”

Evan chuckled and ate some of his own food before taking a sip of the wine she brought with her. “I can do all sorts of things, Emily. I was raised to be a strong, independent man—by a strong, independent woman. By the time I graduated high school, I was cooking most of the meals in the house. Lina hated fast food and take-out, so she made sure I was well educated in the kitchen. I’m trying to teach my cousins now.”

Emily smiled. “What do you do besides paella?”

Evan shrugged. “A lot of traditional Spanish cuisine, honestly. Lina is from Cadiz and that’s what she knew growing up. We had a mainly Spanish and Mediterranean diet when I was growing up, and Lina believed fully in Meatless Mondays.”

“That sounds disgustingly healthy,” Emily said with a smile. “It just occurred to me that I rarely ever see you eat a cheeseburger.”

“Nah, I prefer wings as far as bar food goes. I do eat beef, but I eat a leaner cut than cheeseburgers are made from. It takes a lot of healthy eating and work to keep my body in shape for the job.”

Emily leered at him playfully before eating a bite of her salad. She frowned at the greens in the bowl in front of her and said, “I bet this isn’t plain ole iceberg, either.”

Evan laughed again. “Just eat your food, Emily, and let me worry about the contents. The wine is good.”

“Well, I figured it was the least I could offer since you don’t care for sweets, either.”

“Now that is completely not true,” Evan protested. “I love sweets, which is why I try not to have them in the house all the time. I did make double-fudge brownies for dessert.”

Emily moaned again. “That’s it, I’m moving in! You can cook for me all the time, and I’ll wash up. It’ll be a win-win for both of us.”

Evan stared at her over the rim of his wine glass. Swallowing quickly, he lowered the glass and said, “Well, my food has never led to someone offering to move in before.”

Emily blushed. “Um, yeah. And we haven’t really been dating that long, so…”

Evan left his chair and pulled her from hers, holding both of her hands. “Leave the dishes; let’s go sit down and talk, okay?”

Emily nodded and followed him to the large great room. He gently pushed her onto the sofa before sitting on the coffee table in front of her.

“What’s going on in your head, Emily?” he asked. “You’ve been weird since I told you about Beatty.”

Emily ran her hands through her hair and shook her head. “I don’t know, Evan. I mean, you are incredible, you know? You’re smart and brave. You can cook, and I suspect you sort your laundry.” She laughed when Evan blushed. “You do! I knew you were too perfect.”

“I’m not perfect, Emily,” Evan denied. “I swear too much, I trust too often, and I can’t resist chocolate in any form, which means longer workouts for me on my off days.”

Emily reached out and cupped his cheek in her hand. “I think we could have something special, despite our dangerous jobs, Evan. I know I’m older…”

“Hey, now, I don’t care about your age, Emiily. That stuff doesn’t matter to me. I care about you—your favorite color, which side of the bed you prefer, if you’d like to come climbing with me some time?”

Emily laughed. “I’m never going climbing with you, Evan. Other than going up a ladder for work, I really hate heights. My apartment is on the third floor because that’s as high as I’m willing to go.”

Evan frowned. “Is that why you like this place? Because it’s on the second floor?”

She shook her head and pulled him to sit beside her. “What else do you want to know about me?”

“I don’t know,” Evan hedged. “Dogs or cats?”

“Um, cats are cool, but dogs are happier to see you when you come home.”

Evan narrowed his eyes. “That…wasn’t actually an answer.”

She sighed. “I had goldfish when I was a kid because my mother is allergic to anything with fur. I always wanted a hamster, but that was out, too.”

“Okay, then—favorite vacation location?”

She bit her bottom lip. “Um, I adore the beach, and we used to go to Nags Head every summer when I was a kid.”

Evan frowned at her. “I never asked, but where, exactly, are you from?”

Emily laughed. “I grew up in Richmond, Virginia, but we moved to Aurora before I started high school. I still have family in Virginia.”

“Okay,” Evan nodded. “I grew up in Pennsylvania.”

“So we’re both transplants, then. That’s cool. What else? I’m kinda having fun with this.”

Evan took a breath and stood up, crossing to the dining room to retrieve their glasses and the bottle of wine. “We may need this for this game,” he said with a rueful grin, and her eyes widened.

“How in-depth are your questions going to be?”

“Oh, I don’t know, Emily. You’re the one that mentioned moving in together.”

Emily scrunched her nose at him and playfully growled. “If that’s how it’s going to be, you’d better get those brownies, too.”

Evan saluted her with his glass and retreated to the kitchen, returning with the whole pan, a knife, and a roll of paper towels. He also had several bottles of water tucked under his arm.

After serving her a large piece of brownie on a paper towel, Evan took a bite of his own chocolate treat.

Emily rolled her eyes and said, “Yeah, I’m totally keeping you.”

Evan washed down the browning with a swallow of wine. “We’ll see,” he teased. “Are there any questions for me, or is this going to be completely one-sided?”

Emily tapped her chin with one finger before drinking more wine. “Okay, you like climbing, right?” Evan nodded. “So—what’s the weirdest, stupid thing that’s happened to you on a climb?”

Evan choked on his brownie. “Oh, um, let me think.” He swallowed some wine before answering. “Okay, so I was leading a group of college kids on a climb in New River Gorge, and I was usually the last to rappel down as a safety precaution, right?”

“Yeah, to be an anchor if someone needed help. I assume you had a partner for this?”

“I did, and she went down first—and was no help at all to me when I came down the side of the rock face. I was hanging from my rope, with no support below me, and I looked down and saw a huge timber rattler sunning himself on a ledge. Right underneath me.”

“Oh. My. God! What did you do?”

“Well, I warned the others not to come back near the ledge because obviously hibernation season was over. Then I just…hung there, by my rope and harness, until the damned snake had enough and slithered away.”

“How long did that take?”

“About—half an hour, I think. I do know my arms were incredibly tired by the time I made it to the bottom.”

“Is that normally a risk?”

Evan frowned. “Not really. I mean, snakes avoid people like mad, and when there are climbers in the area, they stay off the cliffs. But I guess the sun was just too nice to resist that day.”

“That’s crazy.” Emily opened a bottle of water and cut another bit of brownie from the pan. “Okay, what do you like to do when you’re not climbing over rattlesnakes?”

“Well, you’d never know it to look around here, but I love to read. I spent a lot of time in the library when I was in school, and the best gift my grandmother ever gave me was a Kindle ebook. I have a huge digital library and an actual library card. I’m also fond of jigsaw puzzles.”

“You’re a real homebody, aren’t you?”

Evan shrugged. “I was never one for parties, even in college. I like to spend time in nature, and I’ve always wanted to learn to surf, but there’s always time for that.”

“Okay,” she said with a nod, “um—besides books, what do you like?”

“I like zoos, museums, and long walks by the water,” he quipped, and she laughed and slapped his leg.

“Be serious!”

“I’m very serious,” he said. “I love poking about in museums. Every time there’s a special exhibit, I try to get tickets. It’s something I share with my brother, Daniel.”

“What does your brother do?”

“He’s a doctor, an orthopedic surgeon. He got married a couple of years ago to a pediatrician.”

“Do you have any other siblings?”

“Yeah, I have a sister, but I haven’t seen her in a long time.”

“I have two older sisters and one younger brother,” she said. The sisters are both teachers, are both married, and I have two nieces and one nephew. My brother is in the Army and a perpetual bachelor.”

Evan smiled. “I briefly thought about joining the Navy, but I changed my mind after watching a fire crew in action when I was in high school. I don’t have any nieces or nephews yet that I know of. I do, however, have tons of cousins of all ages, all around the world.”

“That’s a big family,” Emily mused. “It must be difficult to keep track of all of them.”

Evan laughed. “We have a Facebook group dedicated to just family. We set it up just a couple of years ago, and we do okay there. Of course, a lot of the posts are in Spanish, French, and Portuguese, so I have to keep on my toes linguistically.”

“How many languages do you speak?”

Evan blew out his breath and sipped some of his water. “I speak Spanish like a native, I’m conversational in Portuguese, and I speak fluent French and Italian—all thanks to my crazy family. And I think I may have to learn German because of my sister-in-law, but we’re not sure about that yet.”

Emily stared at him, mouth agape.

“Is it my turn for questions now?” he asked cheekily, and Emily nodded and shoved a piece of brownie in her mouth.

“Okay, let’s see…we won’t be on the job forever, if we’re lucky, so what do you see for yourself in the future?”

“Oh, good one! Um, I’d love to move back to the coast, I think. Denver is exciting, but it’s very cold here.”

“Yeah, I know,” Evan agreed. “It’s worse than Pennsylvania. Um, how many kids do you want?”

Emily laughed and shook her head. “Oh, I’m strictly child free, Evan. I mean, I love the niblings—but at a distance, you know?”

Evan frowned. “Really?”

“Yeah, really.” Emily stretched her arms over her head and stood to take the brownie pan back to the kitchen, leaving Evan stunned on the sofa.

“So,” he said after she sat beside him and cuddled close to him, “have you never wanted kids?”

“Why? Are you going to accuse me of being unnatural for not wanting kids?”

Evan snorted. “Um, no. That’s a personal choice, and only you can make it for yourself. I know plenty of women that don’t want kids, and they are totally women, you know what I mean?”

“My mother told me that every woman wants to have children. Of course, she also told me I was crazy for wanting to be a firefighter.”

“Well, that is crazy,” Evan admitted. “I mean, what kind of person willingly goes into a burning building?”

Emily laughed with him before pulling him into a kiss. “So, what’s the verdict? Can I move in?”

“I think what we have is great, Emily,” Evan said. “Full disclosure, no bullshit?”

“Uh, huh.”

“I want kids, Emily. I want a solid relationship and I’ve always wanted to be a dad, and I love the fact that you know enough about yourself to not have them—but I want them.”

Emily sighed. “And you can’t have kids if we get really serious.”

“I do like you, Emily. And maybe we could make a go of it, but this is a fundamental thing for me.”

“I know you like me, Muscles. And what we have is good—but it’s not great, for either one of us. Not in the long run.”

“Yeah, I know.” Evan kissed her mouth gently. “This is the nicest break-up I’ve ever had. Don’t you want to scream at me or break something?”

“Wow, Evan! What kind of women have you dated before me?”

“Obviously not the best kind,” he replied.

She snorted and wrapped her arms around his neck. “Do you want to fuck for old times’ sake?”

“Do you really think that’s a good idea?”

“No, but it could have been fun.” Emily stood and walked to the front door. She put on her shoes while he collected her coat from the closet. “We’ll still see each other out, right? I mean, you’re not going to get weird and stop playing darts with me, are you?”

“No, I’m not going to get weird about it, Emily. I’ll still dance with you at the Swing Club and elsewhere. We were friends first, and I hope we’ll still be friends. ”

“We will, Muscles, I promise,” she said with a smile, and she kissed him firmly. “You’re buying the first round the next time I see you at the bar.”

Chapter Eleven: 2013-2014

“Evan Buckley! I’ve been hearing a lot of good things about you!”

“Captain Nash?” Evan asked. “How are you doing?”

“We’re all good here. But I’m really ready to get away from it all.”

“Are you calling to ask if Rubio of the Rockies is as good as I said it was?” Evan asked with a smile.

It was the middle of December and Evan was helping his cousins decorate the condo for the holidays. They’d left it until late because final exams were a bear, but Yelena had made her father buy them a tree that day, and they waited until Evan woke from his post-shift nap to decorate it.

“I am, actually,” Bobby Nash admitted. “I know better than to cash in on your offer of a great family vacation, but I’m smart enough to know you’ll be honest with me about my chances to get in there at the last minute.”

“Um, why don’t you give me a few minutes, and I’ll call you back. I just have to check some things on my end.”

Evan quickly disconnected the call and immediately called his cousin, Jasper, at Rubio of the Rockies. Bobby Nash had been one of the most earnest men that Evan had ever met, and he did Evan a real solid by giving incredible recommendations when Evan began at the academy. Evan had heard enough about Nash’s family to know how much they meant to the man. If anyone deserved a good Christmas vacation, it was Captain Nash.

After chatting for a bit with Jasper, and using his Rubio advantage, Evan was able to secure a week’s stay in the Family section of the resort. Evan offered to pay for half the cost of the all-inclusive stay, giving Nash an unassuming discount so that he could treat his family well.

And what Bobby Nash didn’t know, could not hurt Evan.

“Are you sure that’s the cost?” Bobby had asked incredulously.

“I’m sure,” Evan said. “I told you I could get you a deal. I don’t have much pull, but I have enough. I got you a week and a half, from the 20th to the 2nd, so you can show up any time within that time.”

“Wow, I’m impressed. We were planning to be with Marci’s parents, but they had a furnace disaster just after Thanksgiving and the house is still a wreck.”

“Okay, so are you bringing her parents with you? Because that’s totally doable.”

Evan heard a muffled conversation take place between Bobby and someone else, probably his wife, before Bobby came back to the call.

“If we can swing it, that would be great. Do we need to make reservations for any activities before we head out? I mean, I’d like for us to have as much fun as possible, but the place is probably booked solid.”

“Don’t even worry about that,” Evan said with a laugh. “I’m expecting my grandmother to show up within the next few days, and once she knows you’re on your way with your family, she’ll probably take over planning your entire visit.”

“Are you saying your grandmother is a pushy broad?” Bobby asked, teasing.

“Not to her face,” Evan replied. “But she knows how much regard I have for you because of the exceptional training, so she’ll want to repay some favor you didn’t even know about.”

“Well, then, I suppose I should tell everybody to pack up and get ready for an adventure. The kids were disappointed to miss their time with Marci’s folks down near Spring Lake. It might not have been Disney World, but we could go ice skating.”

“You can do that here,” Evan promised. “And more besides. The inclusivity of the resort means all entertainment and food options within the resort grounds. I bet one of the chefs would be happy to offer you some cooking tips.”

“Bite your tongue, young man!” Bobby admonished. “I do just fine. But I wouldn’t say no to someone else cooking for a while.”

After Evan got off the phone with Bobby, he called Jasper again to tell the man to make room in an entire suite. Jasper was quite happy to open a large suite for Evan’s friend and his family–in exchange for Evan helping with Christmas Eve dinner at the hotel. Jasper’s brother, and his wife, and two of their grandchildren were going to be spending the holiday with Jasper and the twins. Because of that, Yelena and Tomas were going to be residing in the family section of the hotel, leaving Evan alone in the condo, unless he could convince Magdelina to stay with him instead of the hotel. He wasn’t on shift for the actual holiday, and he could use some quality grandmother time.

“You’re doing a sneakily good thing, Evan,” Yelena teased as she unwound a string of lights for the tree. “But I bet your friend calls you on it.”

“I’m not worried about it,” Evan confided. “I can always claim that it’s a Christmas gift for his entire family. Bobby reminds me of Dad, actually. His wife and kids mean the world to him, and he could have been having a very different kind of Christmas if I hadn’t caught him on that bridge when I was getting my cert a couple of years ago.”

“Is that the guy you call on the first of every month?” Tomas asked, handing Evan another string of lights. “The one you compare calls with?”

“Yeah. I call Bobby on the first of the month just to catch up, and I call another firefighter in St. Paul in the middle of the month.” Evan laughed and shook his head. “I think I’m beginning to collect friends like Lina does.”

“That’s not a bad thing,” Yelena said. “If I’m very lucky, I’ll remain friends with my best friend from high school. I call her often and we trade stories about our college experiences. I’m making good friends here, but Josie is my very best friend.”

“Well, I hope you can remain friends, Yelena. I don’t know what I’d do if I didn’t have Geoff in my life.”

The tree decorating went on into the evening, so Evan called for dinner delivery from a local Thai place. Yelena made tea to go with their meal and they all ate in the living room, sitting on the floor next to the tree.

“Have you finished your shopping, Evan?” Tomas asked around a spring roll. “I still have to find something for the kids.”

Evan shook his head and passed over a napkin, which Tomas took with a grin. “How old are the kids, anyway?”

“I think Oscar is seven,” Yelena said after poking Tomas in the arm. “And Miri is six. I think I’ll get them some puzzles that they can work with Carlos and Della.”

“Puzzles are good,” Evan agreed. “You never get too old for puzzles. What are you getting Carlos and Della?”

“Actually, I need you to buy the whisky for me,” She replied with a smile. “I’m not old enough yet. Carlos loves Kentucky bourbon, and he imports a specific brand to Brazil. I’ve done some research, and I think I found one that he’ll really like. I found some Native jewelry that I think Della will like.”

Evan shook his head. “I can’t believe I’m buying liquor for my under-age cousin, and I’m not even going to be able to drink it.”

“Shut up!” Yelena yelled, and she threw a handful of napkins at Evan. “You don’t even like bourbon! I’ve never seen you drink anything stronger than the Tempranillo that Magdelina favors.”

Evan chuckled and began gathering the paper plates and napkins they used for dinner. “Too true, too true. I’ve never been much of a drinker, but I do enjoy a crisp wine or a good microbrew. Let’s get cleaned up so we can store the boxes before bed. I’m on shift for the next two days, so please don’t cover everything in tinsel while I’m at work.”

“Don’t worry,” Tomas said without guile, “she’s far more likely to use glitter than tinsel.”

~~ ~~ ~~

Evan stood at the top of the mountain road, fastening his harness with grim determination. Below him, down a steep cliff, was a precariously balanced SUV occupied by a family of five. Dimly, Evan heard the speculation of black ice, or maybe an animal on the curvy road, but his concentration was on the vehicle and the planned rescue of said occupants.

Evan was going down the cliff on foot, wearing a rope and harness to rappel down the cliffside, in order to see the condition of those in the vehicle. At least one person was conscious because someone called 9-1-1 after the accident. The caller reported that there were two young children in the back of the SUV, along with one adult. The other adults were in the front of the vehicle. The caller did not specify where they were sitting, or if there were notable injuries.

The caller also did not specify the ages of the occupants, so Evan had no idea how old the children were, or if any of the adults were elderly. There were too many variables.

The ground was rocky and loose, which made the descent dangerous. Evan couldn’t smell gasoline, so he really hoped there were no leaks to be dealt with .

“It doesn’t look good.”

Evan looked up at Captain Sewell when the older man stopped next to him. “Nothing about this looks good, sir. I don’t hear any screaming, so I guess that’s one thing on my side.”

Sewell shook his head. “I’d almost rather everyone was conscious and mobile.”

Evan huffed. “I’ll be lucky if nobody is aware enough to fight the rescue. That SUV still has room to fall, so we have to get down there fast. Safe, but fast.”

“Martinez and Wilkes are ready to go, so you’ll lead this rescue. You have experience, unfortunately, and they’re ready to follow your lead.”

“Right. Well, let’s tie off and get down there.”

Evan looked up to find Angie Taylor watching him with a grim expression. Mitch Degas was inside the ambulance, pulling supplies so they would be ready as needed. A second ambulance pulled in next to theirs, and a second rescue squad was also getting ready to climb down the side of the mountain. This would be the first scene that Evan was lead on, and he was determined to bring everyone up and in good condition.

Evan gathered the climbers and they made their plan for the descent. Rescue baskets were ready and waiting at the edge of the cliff, but they would not be lowered until the vehicle occupants could be assessed. Evan led the way down, rappelling gently down to the SUV. He was closely followed by Martinez, and then Wilkes. Two other firefighters from the second unit brought up the rear. Evan’s feet slid on the loose rocks, but he remained steady and upright, reaching the vehicle in only three minutes.

Three long minutes.

The first thing he registered was the scent of gasoline, but it was faint, not from a leak. Evan gradually moved toward the front of the vehicle, noting the broken windows on the side of the SUV. That could have happened on the way down the cliff. The side panels were scratched by many trees on the way down. At the front of the SUV, Evan took note of the smashed hood and torn fenders. The front bumper was missing, but Evan found it with a negligent glance around the area. It was further down the mountain.

Evan moved toward the driver’s side door, which looked undamaged other than a crack in the window. The door was locked, so Evan looked in the window. The driver, Evan reported over the radio, was a female, middle-aged. There was a visible cut on her forehead. She was braced against the seatbelt, which definitely did its job. The windshield was cracked, but not broken. The passenger in the front seat was also female, young but adult. She was conscious and appeared to be trying to move, so Evan motioned for her to stay still. Evan moved to the side of the vehicle to peer into the windows so he could assess the back seat passengers, and he swore under his breath at what he saw.

“Be advised: There is a rear-facing car seat, along with one adult male and one juvenile female. Visible injuries on the adult include a facial laceration along the forehead and a possible shoulder injury, defined by blood on the shirt in the shoulder area.”

“We are advised. Any injuries on the juvenile?”

Evan motioned for Martinez to perform a visual evaluation from outside the vehicle while he took note of the position and stability of the vehicle. Rocks were shifting under the tires in an alarming way, and he realized this vehicle may not be stable.

“Control, be advised that this vehicle may be moving,” Evan announced, interrupting Martinez’s evaluation of the other passengers. “We’ll need to stabilize before removing passengers, or we’ll lose them all.”

“Understood, Firefighter Buckley. We are lowering a pair of cables to stabilize the vehicle.”

Wilkes quickly moved up the cliffeside to intercept the cables, and then Wilkes and one of the other rescuers attached the cables to the edge of the windshield, on the frame of the car. This would keep the vehicle from sliding forward. After the cables were attached, Martinez gently opened the forward passenger door and began asking questions of the passenger. Evan heard the details of the accident, which involved a large deer and a slick road.

The passenger indicated that the driver may have hit her head on the steering wheel or the side window, but the seatbelts definitely kept them in their seats. The baby in the car seat was quiet, but seemed to be uninjured. Evan had Martinez unlock all of the doors from the passenger side door and then opened the driver’s side door to assess the driver, noting the cracked window in the door. She was breathing and her pulse seemed steady, so he tried to rouse her.

“Be advised: Female driver is unresponsive, but pulse is steady. Injury on head seems to be from the driver’s side window and not the steering wheel.”

“We are advised, Firefighter Buckley. Do you require a rescue basket for retrieval?”

“Affirmative, driver is unresponsive.”

Two rescue baskets were quickly lowered after Martinez began his ascent with the uninjured passenger in a harness on his back. Wilkes immediately began to load the infant and the juvenile passenger into one of the baskets while Evan began to remove the driver from the vehicle to place her into the second basket.

“Is my wife going to be okay?” the male passenger asked from the back seat. He was now awake and aware, and had helped Wilkes remove the baby from the carseat.

Evan looked up from his task and said, “We’re going to do our best to make sure, sir. She has a head injury, so we’re being very careful with her. I’ll be going up with the basket to keep her steady, and Firefighter Alvero will take you up piggy-back, if you’re amenable to that.”

The man looked out the open door to see Alvero, a well-muscled Hispanic man with an earnest expression on his face. “He looks like he can take me,” the man said, “so I think I’ll let him.”

“That’s a very good idea,” Evan agreed. “It’s best to just let us take the lead and not fight it. We know what we’re doing.”

Evan carefully strapped the driver into the basket before reaching out to release the stabilizing cable on his side of the SUV. Alvero released the cable on the other side after his ‘passenger’ was stable in a harness, and both cables were pulled up by the winch before the basket was retrieved. The whole thing was slow going, as Evan didn’t want to risk further injury to the unconscious woman. Head injuries could hide a lot of issues.

At the top of the cliff, Evan helped stabilize the basket as Degas and Sewell carefully lifted the woman onto a stretcher. Evan began pulling up ropes and checking them for rips or worn places. Rappelling down a mountain does a real job on ropes. Alvero began assisting Evan, and they had all of the ropes coiled and marked, and were storing them in their respective vehicles when Alvero spoke.

“You’re a real cool cucumber, you know that.”

Evan looked up, amused. “Unfortunately, this isn’t my first mountain rescue. It’s the first one involving a car, but the principles are the same.”

“I do mountain rescues all the time,” Alvero said. “The location of our station ensures that, but I’ve never come across someone so young that is so…um.”

“Capable?” Evan asked with a small smile. “I’ve been doing volunteer rescue work since I was in high school. I was a climbing and rafting guide in West Virginia during the summer.”

Alvero raised an eyebrow. “You’re from West Virginia?”

“No, I’m from Pennsylvania. And while ole PA has woods and mountains and stuff, it does not have the Gauley River or New River Gorge, and I loved rafting and climbing there when I was younger.”

“Ah,” Alvero said, nodding. “You’re a nature freak. You must love Colorado, then.”

Evan laughed. “Yeah, I’m loving it here.” He finished storing the harnesses on his truck and turned to watch the ambulances pull away.

“I hope everyone is okay.”

“They’re all fine, Buckley,” Martinez said as he joined Evan and Alvero. “The driver came to right as she was being loaded in next to her husband. The other adult was their daughter and the kids were their grandchildren. They were headed off for last minute Christmas shopping with family in Fort Collins.”

“It sucks that something like this happened so close to the holiday.”

“Yeah, it does,” Alvero agreed. “Well, we’re off. See you around, Buckley. Maybe we can go climbing together when the thaw hits.”

“Sounds good,” Evan said. “I haven’t really explored the climbing options since I’ve been here.”

Evan climbed into the truck, followed by Wilkes and Martinez, and looked at Sewell, who was in the seat right behind the driver. “How were they?”

“They weren’t as bad as they could have been,” Sewell confirmed. “The infant wasn’t hurt at all and the older child had a few bruises from the seatbelt. The male in the back seat had a minor head injury from something loose in the vehicle, but no concussion. The only major injury was to the driver. She regained consciousness just before the ambulance took off.”

“That’s good,” Evan said with a nod, and he slouched back on the bench as the truck pulled onto the road.

The ride back to the station house was quiet, with Evan mentally planning the meal he would be preparing when they got back. Unofficially, Evan had become the station cook for his shift. Sewell liked the idea of having hearty, nutritious meals cooked in house, but he readily admitted that he was a boxed mac-n-cheese guy and the men and women in his station house deserved better. Evan readily took the small lessons he learned from Bobby Nash about cooking for a firehouse, as well as years of experience cooking for himself and his grandmother, and began quietly taking over the station kitchen.

Nobody complained.

Gradually, over the course of his probationary period, little notes would be posted on the refrigerator door; details of food allergies, suggestions and requests for meals, compliments or criticisms of meals. Evan kept all of the notes in a small binder that he’d stored in a cabinet drawer in the kitchen. That binder also held recipes, a notepad for grocery lists, and a supply of pencils. The other shifts used, and added to, this ‘cooks collection’ binder. It was a nice situation, and the added recipes were great additions to Evan’s repertoire.

Back at the station house, Evan removed the ropes he had marked for disposal, and set them aside, storing everything else in the equipment locker. Evan made note of the ropes on the supply clipboard hanging next to the locker; a reminder to have them replaced. After a quick, but thorough, shower, Evan was once again dressed in his uniform and was getting ready to start the meal.

“Let me do the cooking,” Ruiz said when Evan entered the kitchen. “You worked hard today, so take a rest.”

Evan rolled his eyes and moved to the fridge for a bottle of water. “We all worked hard today. Two fire calls and that car accident; it was not an easy day. I’m okay to cook, but you can help if you want to.”

Ruiz laughed and said, “That’s what I told Cap that you would say. I gotta admit, though, I am looking forward to that chicken recipe you’re doing for dinner. I need to be in the kitchen for this.”

“And why is that?”

“Because, I’ve been talking up this dish since the first time you made it, and my wife wants the recipe.” Ruiz grinned and brandished his cellphone. “I planned on taking pics of your recipe card.”

Evan sighed and shook his head. “Your motivation is sketchy, man. But sure, help me in the kitchen. That way, you can get the copy of the recipe and you can get the experience in making it.”

Ruiz’s grin widened. “Rosa will love that!”

The two men worked side-by-side, chatting amicably the whole time. In between Ruiz’s tales of his wife and kids, Evan offered detailed instruction on how to cut the meat, mix the breading, and prepare the vegetables. The rest of the squad eventually gathered around the large table just to watch the show.

“I’m so glad Cap hired you,” Wilkes said with a grin. “I mean, you’re a wonderkid in the field, but you’re a godsend in the kitchen.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Evan said dryly as he mixed a homemade salad dressing. “I bring it all to the game.”

“Don’t forget,” Sewell replied with a wry grin, “he’s damned photogenic, too.”

Everyone laughed, well aware that the DFSD calendars had been released at the first of the month, just in time for Christmas. Evan had been chosen as Mr. July for the SPCA calendar, his photoshoot with a litter of husky puppies a favorite of the Chief’s office. Three other members of Evan’s station house had been chosen for that calendar: Martinez was shot with a beautiful rescue horse on a ranch just outside of Denver, Paramedics Angie Taylor and Mitch Degas were photographed with three mischievous black and orange kittens, and Desmond Wright got to pose with a beautiful black German Shepherd. True to his word, Kelly Wilkes did not volunteer for the SPCA calendar. He even made a comment about his eyes itching just by looking at the thing.

The Hot Rescues calendar was another thing entirely. For almost six months, several photographers hired by the Chief’s office followed firetrucks and ambulances to accident and fire scenes, just waiting for rescues to happen. At first, it was tiresome, like they had to perform for an audience just to do their jobs. After three weeks of it, the photographers were just wallpaper and easy to ignore, which was just what the photographers wanted. The results were…extraordinary. Evan was photographed nine times, each used in a couple of collages for the months of April and November; carrying children from burning homes, rappelling down a cliff, pulling people out of cars. Once, they caught him at the top of a ladder, carrying an elderly man from a hotel fire. None of the victims were shown clearly–just the tops of heads or images from the back. Evan’s favorite photograph was used in the October slot–a visibly pregnant Autumn Kirkpatrick was leaning over a gurney, speaking softly to a woman at the scene of a multi-vehicular accident. The victim was also pregnant. Evan hadn’t been at that particular accident scene, but he and Autumn had talked about it over a pitcher of Jungle Juice at the Rocky Mountain Swing Club.

The Hot Rescues calendar was going to be a sell-out, which was great for the Widows and Orphans Fund. Evan had ordered two, as Christmas gifts for his father and brother. He’d also ordered SPCA calendars for his mother, his grandmother, and Geoff. He thought about sending one to Jill, but figured it would be in poor taste, so he sent her a malachite bracelet instead. Jill still laughed about the Ninja Warrior stuff, and he’d happily told her about the time Chief Garrity, the head of the DFRD, had told Evan his grandson was a fan of Ninja Warrior and had shown him the video of Evan’s performance on the show.

~~ ~~ ~~

Evan didn’t spend a lot of time with Bobby Nash while the man was vacationing in Denver, but he did manage to join him and his wife, Marci, for drinks two nights before they left for home. Their kids, Brook and Robby, were at a movie in the resort theater, with their grandparents.

“I’ll admit, I thought this Christmas was going to be a wash,” Bobby said over his mineral water. He didn’t drink; it was something Evan had noticed but never asked about.

“I thought so, too,” Marci admitted. “I’m just thankful that a good friend stepped in for us.”

“It wasn’t any big deal,” Evan demurred. “I’ll do anything to promote the family business.”

“Now you’re being modest,” Bobby chided. “And don’t think I’m unaware of how much this resort stay should have cost.”

“Don’t forget the luxury suite that somehow isn’t in the public area of the resort,” Marci teased. “But the best part was all the activities that we didn’t have to pay for.”

“Well, you got the inclusive package,” Evan hedged. “Why should you stress on vacation.”

“Okay,” Bobby laughed. “We’ll drop it and just accept that an expensive vacation just dropped into our laps at a discount rate. Now tell me, how has your time with the Denver Fire Department been?”

Evan spent some time telling Bobby and Marci about his rescues and all of the things he’d learned from his coworkers. Then he reached under the table for the bag he’d stashed there before the Nashes came into the bar.

“It’s cheesy, and a bit like I’m tooting my own horn, but I wanted to give you these.” Evan smiled cheekily. “Maybe you can put them up in your station house.”

Bobby reached into the bag and pulled out two 2014 calendars; the calendars that the SPCA and the DFRD put out. “This is…a surprise,” he said with a bemused smile.

Evan tapped the SPCA calendar and said, “July is a good month here.”

Marci’s eyes widened in recognition and she began flipping through the Hot Rescues calendar. “What about this one?”

Evan shrugged uncomfortably. “Um, April and November. I had nothing to do with any of those choices. Except for the puppies.”

Bobby laughed as he flipped to July and saw the photograph of Evan Buckly frolicking with a litter of black and white fuzzballs. “That looks like fun.”

“It really was,” Evan admitted. “I was very tempted to keep one or two of those pups, but I really don’t have a place for them. No yard at my condo.”

“What about these?” Marci asked as she looked at the photo collages in the other calendar.

“Those,” Evan said seriously, “were no fun at all. But they were all saves, so we take that as a win.”

“Yes,” Bobby nodded in agreement as he looked over Marci’s shoulder. “We take every save as a win, because sometimes, no matter how hard we try, we can’t save them all.”

~~ ~~ ~~

“You look very tired,” Evan said as he handed Autumn a plate containing a fruit tart. The meeting between friends was at a cafe downtown. Evan and Autumn had been getting together for lunch or coffee at least once a month since they met. Sometimes they were joined by Autumn’s wife, Evelyn, sometimes they were joined by fellow first responders. That day, they were alone.

Autumn took the tart with a gleeful smile, belied by her exhaustion. “You try growing a human being inside you and then you can tell me how tired I look.”

Evan laughed and dug into his own peach cobbler with gusto. “Honestly, you sincerely rock that pregnancy thing. I’ve heard that women glow when they’re pregnant, but I always thought it was hyperbole. But you,” he said, pointing at her with his fork, “you totally glow with your happiness.”

Autumn smiled wanly. “I wish I was glowing with happiness right now. But, I’m afraid it’s probably my blood pressure.”

Evan frowned at his friend. “Why aren’t you happy? Is everything alright with Evelyn?”

Autumn waved her hand. “Things are fine with Evelyn, but she is a bit perturbed with me right now.”

“Why? What happened?”

Autumn sighed. “I wanted this baby because I’ve been yearning for a family. Not that Evelyn isn’t enough, so don’t think that, but…” She sighed sadly. “But I’ve been missing…something. I called my mother last week. I needed to tell her about the baby.”

Evan sat back in his chair. “So. How did that go?”

Autumn laughed mirthlessly. “Well, first she asked if I had come to my senses and got myself a man, so–yeah. When I told her that I was happily married to Evelyn, and that I got a donor to have my baby, she called me unnatural, with an unnatural baby, and I shouldn’t look for support from her.

“And then I ate an entire pint of Chubby Hubby.”

Evan reached out to hold her hand. “I’m really sorry, Autumn. I know I signed that legal document giving over any claim to the baby, but if you want grandparents for it, my grandmother will gladly step into any role you’ll allow her.”

“Have you told anyone that you donated for me?” she asked cautiously.

Evan shook his head. “The only ones that I’m sure know about it are the people you told. My family doesn’t need to know because this is your baby, not mine. But that doesn’t mean Lina won’t take advantage of a situation to spoil a baby.”

Autumn laughed. “It’s good to know that someone will happily step in as a grandmother. My mother is a real piece of work, and Evie’s is coming in a close second.”

“Why?” Evan asked as he reached for his iced tea. “What has she said or done?”

“Said,” Autumn confirmed. “She told me not to expect anything from her because this baby isn’t her blood. She said she has no obligation. And then she walked out.”

“How did Evelyn take that?”

“With a sigh of relief, I think.” Autumn began to fiddle with her paper napkin. “Cassandra Waters is a bitter woman whose kids don’t, or barely, speak to her. Throwing Evelyn away is basically throwing away the last bit of family she has. She’ll wise up eventually, but it’ll be too late then.”

“My grandmother always says that Family Is Everything,” Evan said seriously. “I was brought up to believe it, and I still do. But I’ve also come to understand that family is also what you make it, and from what I’ve seen, you have a great family.”

Autumn squeezed his hand. “Yeah, I really do.”

~~ ~~ ~~

Evan saw the contact name on his cellphone and answered with a smile.

“Bobby Nash! How are you doing this fine February day?”

He heard a shuddery breath on the other end of the line. “Bobby? Are you okay?”

“I’m really not, kid,” Bobby finally said. “I don’t even know why I called you, but you’ve become like family over the years.”

“What happened, Bobby?” Evan asked. “What can I do for you?”

“I need…a place for me and the kids to stay for a while. I need to be away from St. Paul for a bit.”

Evan took a breath and pulled a notebook out of a drawer in his sitting room, and he began making a list. “Talk to me, Bobby, please.”

“Marci and her parents were going to dinner a couple of nights ago,” Bobby said, voice shaking. “On their way back…a drunk driver…slammed into their car.”

“Oh, my god, Bobby! Are they okay? Are you okay?”

“There were no survivors,” Bobby said with a sob. “Not even the asshole drunk that caused the accident. The investigative team said he must have been speeding beyond all reasonable limits because his vehicle was practically disintegrated.”

“Are you…?” Evan didn’t even know what to ask. “Do you need me to fly out there to be with you for the funeral? I mean it, Bobby; I’ll come to you if you need me.”

Bobby sobbed again. “I know you will, kid, but that’s not necessary. I just–we need to get away from here. There isn’t going to be a funeral, Evan. Roger’s car was pretty much destroyed in the accident as well. The occupants…”

“I got it,” Evan interrupted. “No funeral necessary.”

“We had a celebration of life today, at our church,” Bobby said, voice suddenly calm, as if the misery had suddenly dropped him. “Roger and Jane wanted to be cremated, and that seemed to be the best thing for Marci as well. The kids…the kids are a mess. I’m a mess. And I think we just really need to not be here.”

“Yeah, of course,” Evan said. “I completely understand, and I insist that you come stay with me and the cousins.”

“I don’t want to impose, Evan,” Bobby tried to decline. “I think we just need to get away for a few days.”

“It’s no imposition, really. We have two guest rooms at the condo, so there’s plenty of room. We’ll give you room to mourn and get yourselves together, I promise.”

Evan stayed on the phone while Bobby made flight arrangements for himself and the kids, and then he made lists of favorite foods, toiletries, and other sundry things that could make the visit comfortable for the kids. When he explained the situation to Tomas and Yelena, they totally understood and agreed with the rooming situation.

“If they need space,” Tomas said, “we can totally go to stay with Dad at the resort for a few days. There is no need to make your friends uncomfortable.”

“Thanks for that,” Evan said, sincerely, “but I doubt Bobby will feel great about displacing you from your own home.”

“They suffered a huge loss, primo. They need to regroup as a family unit.”

Evan could see the understanding in his cousin’s eyes. Tomas and Yelena had lost their mother when they were young teens, so they could empathize with the Nash family.

Plans were made to host the Nash family, and Evan even called his grandmother to explain the situation, just on the off chance that she might be planning her own visit. Magdelina, of course, understood that Evan was trying to take care of a good friend, and made arrangements for a grief counselor to be available for the Nash children to speak with while they were in Denver.

Bobby Nash broke down in Evan’s arms when he learned about that.

A week later, Bobby was finally ready to fly back to Minnesota and start living his regular life again. During his week stay with Evan, Bobby made sure his children, Robbie and Brooke, had talked to a professional about their mother’s death so they could process their grief. He also made arrangements for a trusted coworker to go into their apartment and clear out Marci’s clothes so he wouldn’t have to face that task when he returned, and then he searched for other apartments for rent so he could start fresh with his kids.

“I think you’re making good decisions, Bobby,” Evan told him on the drive to the airport. “Just make sure you keep up with the therapy, okay?”

Bobby nodded. “Oh, I will. I know it’s helped the kids, so I’ll make sure we all go when we get back to St. Paul.”

Evan helped Bobby get the luggage out of his cargo area before hugging Robbie and Brooke. “I’m gonna miss you two,” he said. “Do me a favor and keep your dad in line.”

Then he turned to Bobby and said, “Keep in touch, yeah? Our friendship means a lot to me.”

Bobby gave Evan a hug and said, “It means a lot to me, too. I’ll repay this favor somehow, because I think you saved my life this week.”

“You saved yourself, Bobby,” Evan protested. “I just gave you a place to land for a bit while you figured yourself out.”

~~ ~~ ~~

“Hello?” Evan said sleepily.

Early morning phone calls on his day off were not a welcome distraction, especially when sleep was on his agenda.

“I need you to get your lawyer and get to the University of Colorado Hospital.”

Evan blinked blearily, barely awake. “Um, what? Who is this?”

“Evelyn Waters, Buckley, and I need you to get your lawyer and get to the University of Colorado Hospital. Now!”

“Evelyn? What? Why?”

“I’ll tell you when you get here, but you have to get here soon, or it will be too late.”

Evan crawled out of bed and glanced at the clock on his bedside table.

Three-thirty.

A quick glance out his window showed a dark sky, so it was clearly three-thirty in the freaking morning. Evan groaned and stumbled to his bathroom to quickly wash his face. After he was almost awake, he grabbed his phone and called his grandmother, sending a quick prayer that she would forgive him for waking her.

“Evan? What is it? Why are you calling so late?”

“I wish I knew, Lina. I just got a phone call from a…friend of a friend, and she told me that I needed to get a lawyer and I needed to get to a hospital.”

“Who is this person that called you?” Magdelina asked, sounding suddenly awake. “What is the relationship, that you would need a lawyer?”

“Um, Evelyn Waters; she’s the wife or significant other of Autumn Kirkpatrick.”

“Ah, yes, the woman you graciously donated sperm to. You said she was successfully pregnant, si?”

“That’s what she told me,” Evan confirmed as he pulled on a clean pair of jeans. “I think she’s about eight months now, so she should be due in mid-March.” After talking with Autumn, it was agreed that Evan could tell at least his grandmother about the sperm donation, because someone in Evan’s family should be aware of offspring in case of a medical emergency.

“And do you see her often? I know you were not supposed to be involved with the pregnancy, but were you given updates?”

“No, Lina, it’s not like that. I’m still friends with Autumn, and we do spend time together. I mean, she’s a paramedic at a different station than me, so we don’t really work together. I saw her last month at a birthday party, and she was huge, but the pregnancy seemed to be progressing right on track. But she was in good health and was very happy. She and Evelyn both seemed to be very happy, but Evelyn did not sound happy on the phone just now.”

“I am calling a friend, Evan. An attorney by the name of Eric Sandoval. His wife is an occasional travel companion of mine, so I believe he can help you or he can find someone who can.”

Evan buttoned his shirt and shoved his wallet into his pocket, marveling at the fact that his grandmother still had a landline and that she could use it at the same time she was on the cell phone with him.

“Evelyn said to meet her at University of Colorado Hospital, or it would be too late, but she didn’t say more than that.”

There was a long pause, which allowed Evan to grab a pre-mixed protein shake and his keys. He was just locking the door behind him when his grandmother spoke again.

“Mr. Sandoval just messaged me back, and he will meet you at that hospital within the hour. You are lucky, Evan, that he was also able to wake a family court judge, who will meet you both at the hospital at a more reasonable hour.”

Evan sighed. “I never, ever want to know how you know all these people, Lina, but thank you. And I understand the lawyer because Evelyn made it clear that he was needed, but why a judge?”

“Evan,” Magdelina sighed. “Has it not occurred to you that something may be amiss with the woman carrying your baby?”

Evan paused at the elevator. “No, it has not occurred to me, Lina, because I was in bed and had only been asleep for three hours.”

“Hmm, well, make sure to have someone meet me at the airport tomorrow—no, this afternoon. I am packing my luggage as we speak. I will stay with you, of course, so make sure the guest room is habitable.”

“Yes, Lina,” he readily agreed. “And thank you.”

“No tiene ninguna consecuencia, Evan. My prayers are with you.”

Evan was barely aware of the drive from his condo to the hospital. Fortunately, it was a short drive, and the traffic lights were on his side. The early hour also ensured little traffic to navigate. Evan parked near the emergency room entrance because that seemed like the logical place to be, and he received a text from an unknown number asking where to meet him. Assuming it was the lawyer, Mr. Sandoval, Evan texted back his location before calling the number he’d marked as Evelyn Waters’.

“Buckley? Are you here?”

Now that he was awake and aware, Evan could tell her voice sounded stressed. “Yeah, near the emergency room. Where are you?”

“I’ll meet you there. Is your lawyer with you?”

“He’ll be here soon, Evan confirmed. “I’m coming inside now.”

Evan locked his SUV and jogged to the non-emergency entrance next to the ER. The early morning was cold, warning of an even colder day, and Evan welcomed the heated air of the hospital.

By the time Evelyn Waters found him, Evan was overly warm and more than a little nervous.

Evelyn looked like she’d been through a war.

“What happened?” he asked as she all but collapsed in his arms. He gently lowered her onto a bench as she clutched at his arms.

“There was a shooting,” she said with a shaking voice. “Some stupid kids out joyriding and shooting off guns because the snow got to be too much.” She shook her head and rubbed her eyes with shaking fingers. “I don’t even know. But we were asleep, in our apartment, where we should have been safe!”

She looked up at him then, and her eyes were clear but watery, as if all the tears had been wrung out of her. “The breaking glass woke me, and I rushed over to the window to see a cop pulling over the stupid kids. I turned around to see if they woke up Autumn…she was bleeding. Shot in the back of the head.”

Evelyn’s voice broke and Evan could only hold her as she began to cry again. “We should have been safe.”

“Is she..?”

“She’s alive, but only…the doctor said she was basically brain-dead. They’re keeping her alive because he wants to deliver the babies.”

“Babies? Twins?” Evan was shocked because Autumn never said anything about twins. “I’m sorry, Evelyn. Do you have anyone with you?”

Evelyn took a shuddery breath and pulled away from him to sit apart from him on the bench. “I met Autumn eight years ago, did you know? She was so bright and happy all the time, which was really strange to me. I don’t think she ever had a bad day, even after her family tossed her out of the house.

“Autumn hadn’t spoken to her parents in more than ten years, Buckley. Ten fucking years, and because she was a decent person, I decided to be a decent person, too, and I called them to tell them that their daughter was dying.”

“And how did that go?” Evan asked, already fearing that he knew how that went.

“Her father hung up on me,” she said with a sniffle. “Like she wasn’t once his darling girl. Her mother called me two hours ago, asking what happened. So I told her. I told her that her daughter, the love of my life, was all but dead and they were only keeping her alive for a little while longer. Apparently, Autumn was so much more decent than even I knew, because she had been writing secret letters to her mother at a PO Box, telling her about the pregnancy. So her mother is on her way from South Bend, and she’s probably bringing that son of a bitch she’s married to.

“She wants to take the babies, you see. She wants to take those innocent babies and raise them to be ignorant bigots just like she and her husband are, and they’ll be here in a couple of hours.”

“But you’re Autumn’s domestic partner, right?” Evan asked. “You hold power of attorney and medical power of attorney?”

“Yes, I do, and that’s why I could give permission for the doctor to keep her alive this long.”

“Then aren’t you also going to be the mother to the babies? I mean, that was the plan, right?”

Evelyn laughed, bitter and sharp. “Autumn would have made a wonderful mother, Buckley, but she was so much better than me. I can’t… do any of this without her, and I’m not willing to try. That’s why I told you to bring your lawyer. I know you signed away any rights to the baby…babies…that you helped Autumn conceive, but you need to reverse that. You can’t let her parents ruin those lives.”

Evan stared at Evelyn open-mouthed. “I…can’t? I mean, they’re part of Autumn; don’t you want to raise them to know who she was?”

Evelyn shook her head. “I have her diaries, and our home movies, and all the wonderful memories, but as soon as I can, I’m moving back to Colorado Springs. My firm has an office there and I have more friends there than I do here. Autumn was my family here, Buckley, and she’ll be gone soon.”

Evan’s phone pinged with a text message, and he pulled it out of his pocket. Reading the message, he looked at Evelyn and said, “Mr. Sandoval is here. My lawyer, I guess. Can you wait here while I get him so you can tell him what’s going on?”

“Yeah, I can. I’m gonna get a soda out of the machine. I’m just…done.”

Evan patted her shoulder in sympathy before heading to the main entrance to meet Eric Sandoval.

He wasn’t hard to spot in the lobby: tall, well-dressed in a winter-weight suit and wool overcoat, and minor beard growth because three in the morning was too early to shave. Evan rubbed his own chin absently as he strode forward to introduce himself.

“Mr. Sandoval? I’m Evan Buckley,” he said, holding out his hand in greeting. “I’m sorry for the horrible hour, but I’m very grateful that you came.”

“Your grandmother is an…interesting woman, Mr. Buckley,” Sandoval said with a wry grin. “You aren’t in any legal trouble, are you?”

“I’m not exactly sure about that, Mr. Sandoval. What I am sure about is that a beautiful young woman with a smile that could light up your day, and no real family to speak of, was shot by some stupid kids tonight.”

“And what does that have to do with you? Or the family court judge your grandmother asked me to call?”

“Come on and meet Evelyn Waters, and she can tell you all about it. I need to call…everyone, I guess.”

While Evelyn explained the horrible circumstances to Mr. Sandoval and handed over the paternity paperwork that Evan had originally signed before giving his donation at the clinic, Evan called his cousin Tomas to make sure he went to the airport to pick up Magdelina once she landed.

Then Evan called his father, waking him in the early morning.

“Hey, Dad, sorry about the time.”

“Evan? Is something wrong?”

“Yeah, Dad, there’s something horribly wrong.”

~~

Evan looked down at the face of a dear friend he once knew.

Autumn was breathing, thanks to a machine, and her body was still nourishing the babies inside of her, but she was gone.

Evan wept as he remembered her hopeful face when she asked if he would be her donor. He wept as he recalled many evenings with fellow first responders, laughing and dancing and drinking. He wept as he remembered the way she smiled at Evelyn when they danced together—and when they informed him that his donation had enabled them to become parents.

Evan wept, and tears splashed off the railing of the hospital bed that held his friend.

“Mr. Buckley? I have the documents for you to sign, and then the doctor will be ready to deliver the babies.”

Evan nodded and followed Mr. Sandoval into the hallway. “I guess Lina was right about calling a judge, huh?”

“Yes, I suppose she was. How do you think she knew?”

Evan shrugged and took the offered pen. “I never try to figure out that stuff when it comes to my grandmother. She just has a way of saving her family, you know?”

“Then you are very fortunate, Mr. Buckley, to have someone like her in your corner. The paperwork you originally signed to withdraw paternal responsibility was actually filed with Judge Hresan, so he was very understanding about the change of circumstance and reversed the decision quickly. After all is said and done, you are the only legal parent in this situation and will only be seen as a grieving friend.”

Evan signed and initialed and signed again, reinstating his parental rights to the unborn children in the other room. “The doctor was okay with performing a DNA test after the delivery, right?”

“Yes,” Sandoval confirmed. “Once the…circumstances were presented to him, he was very amenable. A medical team will also be on hand to care for Ms. Kirkpatrick after the delivery until her parental units arrive, but you should say your good-byes now, before they get here. Judge Hresan has also signed off on a protective detail in case Mrs. Kirkpatrick tries to gain access to the newborns in the NICU.”

Evan wiped his eyes and handed over the legal documents. “I really hate this, you know? The birth of these children was supposed to be a happy occasion, and this is…not that.”

“You should never regret a new life, Mr. Buckley. Consider the alternative—Ms. Kirkpatrick could have not survived to get to this hospital, and then you would not have the chance to tell her children all about her.”

Evan nodded. “Yeah, and isn’t that a horrible thought?”

Mr. Sandoval left after Evan signed all the legal stuff, and Evan was left alone in the hallway. Evelyn had gone home, most likely to pick a burial dress for Autumn, but she had not wanted to even see the babies—and she would probably be back to lay down the law with Autumn’s mother (and possibly her father) once they arrived.

In theory, Evan knew they were the babies’ grandparents and would want to be part of their lives. Evan agreed with Evelyn that they might be the worst kind of people and should never be allowed to see the babies at all. Evan was now prepared to fight for these babies, no matter what came his way, so hopefully Evelyn could make the point that they had no rights to the children of the woman they disowned.

Evan paced in the hallway for a few minutes before he realized he probably looked like any other expectant father in a maternity ward. He certainly wasn’t that. A nurse passed by him on her way to the cafeteria and gave him a pitying smile. He nodded in return and resumed his pacing.

In a few minutes, he would have a new family.

The sudden realization made him pause, and he took out his phone to check the time.

Five O’clock in the morning. Had it only been an hour and a half since he got that horrible phone call? Evan wondered if it was too early to call his captain. Before he could make the decision, a commotion caught his attention, and he looked up to see people—lots of people.

Some first responders from station One-Five entered the hospital lobby, and Evan felt stupid to not consider that they would be there. Of course they would have heard about the incident on their scanners, and they would want to bid farewell to their friend and colleague. The folks from the One-Five were joined by the crew from Station Six-Two-Three, which made sense as they were the ones to respond to the emergency call. Finally, Evan saw several people from his own squad coming into the hallway, and Captain Sewell made his way to Evan’s side.

“I thought you might need the moral support,” Sewell said, “so I called the captains and told them what was going on.” He looked around at the gathering crowd. “I didn’t expect them to all show up this morning.”

Evan shrugged and shoved his hands into his jeans pockets. “Yeah, well, I doubt they’ll be able to say good-bye in person, but it’s a nice show of support. Autumn was well-liked and competent, and she will be missed.”

Sewell huffed. “I think they’re here for you, Buckley. It’s not every day one of us becomes a father, and this is one of the worst ways to go about it.”

“Ah, yeah. I’m a bit overwhelmed, sir.” He ran a hand along the back of his neck in a nervous gesture. “I mean, they’re going to be in NICU for a long time, so I have time to get space set up for them at home, but right now I just feel…lost.” Tears filled his eyes again and he wiped them away. “This is so…”

“If you want to say ‘unfair’, I’ll allow it,” Sewell said. “We all take risks on the job, but we can sometimes mitigate those with training and therapy. This situation was just completely out of control. I can’t imagine what Evelyn Waters is going through right now.”

Evan shuddered. “She’s a mess, as she should be. But she and I were never close, and this doesn’t change that, so I can’t be there for her. I want to be, of course, but I don’t think I have the emotional energy to support her or any of Autumn’s teammates right now.”

Sewell clapped his shoulder. “I don’t think any of us expect you to be the supportive one, Buckley.” He looked over his shoulder to where the different squads were clustered together. “I think they’re plotting a way to hold a baby shower without it being morbid. I’m sure you’re going to need a lot of things that you never thought you would need.”

“Well, not at this point in my life,” Evan said ruefully. “When I imagined my future family, I thought I’d be married or something, and maybe older than twenty-three. I certainly wasn’t planning on having kids while living in a condo with two of my cousins.”

Sewell laughed despite the serious situation. “I’m sure you’ll rally just fine.”

The door to the maternity ward swung open, startling Evan, and he turned to find one of the nurses that had been cleaning Autumn standing in the doorway.

“Mr. Buckley?” Evan nodded and walked toward her. “The doctor doesn’t want to wait any longer, so if you follow me, we’ll get you scrubbed and gowned. Unless you don’t want to be there for the delivery?”

“No, um, I want to be there,” Evan said. He turned back to Sewell and said, “Thanks for coming, Cap. I guess I should make an appointment with HR about my family event, huh?”

“I already made the appointment for you. Do you have a name in mind yet?”

Evan shook his head. “I don’t even know if they’re boys, girls, or one of each. Autumn was quite sure she was having a single pregnancy, so I think one of the twins was hiding behind the other during the ultrasound.”

Evan followed the nurse into the maternity ward and washed to her specifications before donning the surgical gown, booties, and paper hat that were required for the delivery room.

Evan entered the room after saying a little prayer, and he was once again faced with the too-still form of his dear friend. He stopped by her head and reached out to stroke her cheek with one finger.

“We’re going to meet your darlings now, Autumn. I know you’re watching over us.”

The process of a caesarian delivery was too intense for him to pay attention to, so Evan stood back and watched the monitors carefully.

“Now, Mr. Buckley,” said the doctor as he was preparing to make the incision on Autumn’s abdomen, “the twins are identical, which means they are sharing a placenta and amniotic sac. As such, we will be delivering them quickly as we can to make sure they are viable outside of the womb. We understand that you were not involved in the pregnancy—other than the obvious?”

“Um, no, I was not in any kind of relationship with Autumn. We were just friends.”

“I know this is distressing for you, Mr. Buckley, so you might just want to think about your children at this time. The mother is beyond your help, but the children are not.”

“Yeah, thanks.”

Evan spent the next fifteen minutes praying for Autumn and the babies. He couldn’t bear to watch the doctor cut into her body, so he just concentrated on the last memory he had of her, one month prior and heavy with a pregnancy that he now knew to be twins. She had been complaining about getting ready for maternity leave after an accident victim she had been transporting had complained about having a pregnant paramedic. Most of the table had been laughing at her ire, but Evan could see how happy she really was to begin nesting.

He wondered how much preparation she had done, and if Evelyn would be willing to let him purchase any supplies they might have. If Autumn was getting ready for twins, they might have furniture and clothes and stuff already, and Evan had none of that.

A cry of distress caught his attention, and Evan looked up to see a bloody mess of a baby being wiped clean with a towel by a nurse.

“Is…it?”

“She,” the nurse corrected. “She’s fine.”

Evan hesitantly took a few steps closer, and the nurse turned the baby toward him. “She’s so tiny,” he whispered.

“That’s normal for twins,” the doctor assured him even as he pulled the second baby into the cold, cruel world. “These are also thirty-two week preemies, so they will be very small.”

Another cry of distress rang out, and another nurse took the second baby from the doctor and began cleaning it. She looked up with a smile behind her mask and said, “You’ve got another pretty girl, Daddy.”

Evan felt the tears well in his eyes and he didn’t bother to stop them. “Two little girls,” he sighed. “I wonder if she knew.”

“You’ll have to ask her partner,” the nurse suggested. “She wasn’t a patient here, so we don’t know her history.”

“Can I hold them?”

The nurse shook her head. “After we clean them up a bit more, they’ll go into the NICU. You’ll be able to interact with them at that time.”

Evan nodded and turned back to Autumn, who was being sewn shut by the doctor who delivered the twins. He leaned down and kissed her cheek gently. “Thank you, my friend.”

Evan left the delivery room and pulled the scrub gear from his body in the anteroom before exiting to the main lobby. Once there, he noticed that the crowd of first responders had removed themselves—but Evelyn was back. His grandmother had also arrived, which made Evan wonder where the hell she had flown from, and was speaking with Captain Sewell, who now had paperwork in his hands that Evan figured was from HR. He went to Evelyn first, wanting to give the woman as much closure as he could.

“Hey, did you and Autumn have anything prepared for the babies? Like names and stuff?”

Evelyn nodded, wringing her hands together. “Yeah, we had a list. I can get it to you. We were going to have furniture delivered…next week, actually.” She sighed. “I’ll have to call and cancel that today.”

Evan held out a hand. “I can pay you for anything that you’ve ordered, and I can change the delivery information. Evelyn, did you know that she was having girls? Was Autumn preparing for that?”

Evelyn began crying again and she nodded. “Autumn wrote in a journal every day since her positive pregnancy test. She got one of those huge blank books with pages for every day of the year.” She choked with a sob, and he instinctively reached out for her. “She started making scrapbooks for the babies, but she didn’t want to know their sex before she delivered. Since it was an identical twin pregnancy, and she didn’t know if they were going to be boys or girls, she made name lists for both just in case.”

“If it’s not too much trouble, I’d like copies, at least, of all of that so I can share them with her daughters.”

“Girls?” Evelyn gave him a watery smile. “Wow, Autumn would have loved that.”

Evan smiled. “Yeah, I think so, too. I saw them, and they’re really small, but I haven’t officially ‘met’ them yet. I want to do that before I name them. I know they don’t have personalities yet, but I think it’s important that I at least hold them first.”

“Can I…could I see them, at least once? I know I don’t have a right to ask that, especially since I’m basically giving them up, but I’d like to see them once. For Autumn’s sake.”

“You don’t have to explain anything, Evelyn,” he said gently. “Of course you can see them. If things were different, I’d be the one to ask you for that privilege.”

Evelyn smiled and patted his cheek. “You are a good man, Buckley. That’s why Autumn wanted to ask you instead of having a random donor from a bank.”

Magdelina took that opportunity to approach, and she held out her hand to Evelyn. “I am Evan’s grandmother, Magdelina Buckley. I am so sorry for your loss, my dear. It is a horrible thing to lose your love.”

Evelyn shook her hand and said, “Yeah, I’m still trying to deal, you know? We were going to be together forever and take on the world.”

“I must ask,” Magdelina said hesitantly, “for everyone’s sake—are you entirely certain that you want to relinquish your claim on the baby? That is your last connection to your love, is it not?”

Evelyn smiled shakily and said, “There are two babies, and I really can’t raise them without Autumn. As horrible as this sounds, she was the one that wanted a baby; I went along because it made her happy. I would have been a good parent and partner for her, but without her, I’d rather not.”

“I understand,” Magdelina said, and Evan knew she meant it.

“I’m going to see what Captain Sewell has for me,” he said, “and then I’ll be heading to the NICU to meet my daughters.”

Magdelina smiled and patted his cheek fondly. “You can do this, Evan. I have all the faith in you.”

“Thanks, Lina.”

Captain Sewell did, in fact, have paperwork for applying for paternity leave and declaring a change in life event.

“Before you make plans for coming back to work, I want you to call someone. Get all the therapy you need to deal with this life-changing event and make sure you have everything you need for those babies. As a father, I can tell you that you’ll never really be prepared, and returning to work will be a trial for you.”

“Will there be a problem with me coming back? After paternity leave, I mean.”

Sewell shook his head. “No problem there as I would love to have you back. I just figured that staying in Denver might not be healthy for you mentally. From what I got from the captain of the One-Five, Autumn’s parents have ignored her for the past ten years, but they live in Indiana, so they might not be close enough to give you grief about the babies. You’ll want to make sure you’re safe from unwanted attention coming from that direction.”

“Yeah,” Evan agreed. “Evelyn already told me that they’re on their way and will be here soon. Apparently, Autumn wrote letters to her mother telling her about the pregnancy. I know she called her mother at least once and got insulted for her trouble. Maybe she wanted to give the woman who tossed her out a chance to be a grandmother, but I think we have that situation under control from a legal perspective. There’s a family court judge with a soft spot for those babies and he already came down on my side as far as paternity goes.”

“And if they try to sue for grandparents’ rights?” Sewell asked.

Evan shrugged. “Under what grounds? Autumn came out as gay and her parents told her she was dead to them. I don’t even know if Autumn had siblings or not because she certainly never talked to me about her family beyond the fact that she was adopted. They will have no rights at all to those children, and Judge Hresan will make that clear if I have to go that route.”

Evan thanked Sewell for his concern and turned back to his grandmother and noticed that Evelyn had gone.

“She went to gather some journals for you, Evan,” Magdelina explained. “She will be back later today, probably after your friend’s parents arrive. Evelyn admitted that she did not disclose which hospital was caring for Autumn, so they will not suddenly arrive here. Also, your father called, and he and your mother will be arriving in a few days. They will not be staying with you and are only coming to help you.”

Evan snorted. “I don’t even know what kind of help I need, yet.”

Magdelina smiled. “Your brother had also called to offer his moral support, but he also said that you did not need anyone else invading your home and would wait to visit later, once you are settled.”

Evan smiled. “I love my family.”

“Of course you do, my dear,” she said with a smile. “Now—go meet your daughters. From what Mr. Sandoval said to me, your friend’s parents could try to become a problem for you, so I shall stand watch to make sure that does not happen.”

“They won’t be a problem if I have anything to say about it. The judge that Mr. Sandoval found was very sympathetic to my situation and has agreed to provide a protection detail outside the NICU if they try to press the issue.”

Evan left his grandmother in the lobby and found his way to the NICU. He was instructed to wear a microbial robe and gloves before entering the ward as the small infants inside were at risk.

“Don’t worry,” said the nurse in charge. “It won’t be forever. The twins are small because they’re twins and they’re premature, so they’ll be in incubators while they gain weight and better lung function. I doubt they’ll be here for very long.”

Evan smiled in thanks and asked, “Is there an instruction manual for new parents? I’m gonna need all the help I can get.”

“Unfortunately, babies don’t come with instruction manuals,” she answered ruefully. “But they really just need a lot of love, especially when they’re small like this. There is a bonding expert on staff, if you really want to know how to be a good father.”

“I really do,” Evan admitted. “I want to be the best possible father.”

“Well, then, let’s go meet your babies.”

The nurse led Evan to a pair of incubators in the back of the ward. Inside each incubator was a tiny baby. Evan leaned down and investigated the first incubator, where a tiny pink baby lay sleeping.

She had golden fuzz on her head, rosy cheeks, and a pert nose. It was easy for Evan to ignore the tubes and wires attached to the baby because all he saw was his future. Looking at the base of the incubator, Evan found the information sheet for the baby.

Baby Buckley A

Female

Length: 18 inches

Weight: 4 pounds, 15 ounces

The label on the second incubator carried most of the same information, with Baby B listed instead of A, and a weight of 5 pounds, 10 ounces. Baby B had no peach fuzz on her head, and had a darker skin tone, but she had the same rounded nose.

Both babies were small, but they seemed healthy. The cannulas gave them small amounts of oxygen to aid in lung development and the sterile environment of the incubators protected them. There were little holes where he could insert his hands to touch the babies, and he did that as soon as he could.

The gloves on his hands prevented his skin from touching Baby A, but he could feel the warmth of her skin. He gently stroked her arm for a moment and her head turned in his direction, as if she was seeking him. After a bit Evan turned his attention to the other incubator and reached for the other baby. This time when the baby turned toward him, he could see a tiny red mark over her left eye. The Rubio Angel’s Kiss had marked his daughter. Evan quickly turned back to Baby A to inspect her face since she had turned away from him, and the mark was there as well.

Autumn would have laughed at such a definite display of paternity, and Evan imagined that they might have been teased in a good-natured way by their respective coworkers. There would have been no way to deny that the babies were Evan’s.

“I’m gonna give you two so much love,” Evan promised. “I can’t give you your mother, but I’ll be the best Dad I can be.”

“Honey, that’s the best promise I’ve ever heard in here,” the nurse said. “Some parents try to promise that everything will be sunshine and roses when their babies are here. They try to promise that everything will be okay, but there are no guarantees in this place.”

Evan nodded. “Yeah, I know. Life holds no real promises. These two were supposed to be born late next month, and they were supposed to live with their mothers. I was just a sperm donor doing a favor for a friend.”

“For just a sperm donor, you seem awfully invested in these babies,” she said doubtfully.

Evan snorted. “Their mother is dead by now, or soon will be. Their mother’s partner has decided that she can’t do this alone, and the mother’s parental units are apparently homophobic idiots that would ruin these precious angels. Someone needs to be on their side.”

Evan spent as much time as he was allowed in the NICU, but he was eventually kicked out when evening visiting hours ended. His stomach growled and he realized that he’d been in the hospital since just after three in the morning, and he’d only had a small protein shake since he woke up. Literal hours had passed by that point, and the sun was probably setting again. He took off the robe and gloves and exited to find his grandmother, who was waiting in the lobby.

Evelyn had returned, and with her, standing separately from her, were two middle-aged adults that Evan presumed were Autumn’s parents. The woman was short, like Autumn had been, and had greying red hair. Evan couldn’t see her features because she was leaning face-first into the chest of the man with her, crying.

The man was…stoic. That was the only word Evan could think of to describe him. He was taller than the woman, but not as tall as Evelyn and certainly not as tall as Evan. His hair was steel-grey and his eyes were stony-blue and emotionless. He held his wife as she cried but showed no outward appearance of grief himself. The man was stocky, and the woman was very slim. Even if they’d been the same race, Autumn would not have resembled either one of them.

The man turned his head to face Evan when he arrived in the lobby, but he made no move to release his wife. Evan frowned at Evelyn and the other woman crossed quickly to his side.

“We were allowed into the morgue to say good-bye,” Evelyn explained. She tipped her head in the couple’s direction and added, “Alan and Tracy Kirkpatrick. He’s a hardass and she’s a mess. I think…maybe they regret the past ten years? Tracy was clearly reading Autumn’s letters, but Alan obviously knew nothing about them.”

“Have they said anything about the babies?” Evan asked nervously.

Evelyn shook her head. “Not to me. There was a nurse with us, but she kept quiet and allowed Tracy to wail her little heart out.” Evelyn’s mouth twisted bitterly. “Maybe they should have tried harder when Autumn was around to care.”

“I expect they’ll say something once the shock has worn off,” he said practically. “He doesn’t seem to be affected. Did Autumn have siblings?”

Evelyn sighed. “I think there was a sister, but she left home long before Autumn did. Autumn got a Christmas card years ago with a postmark from New York, but that was just after she moved here, and she got nothing after that.”

Evan shook his head. “I guess I just…don’t understand. My best friend in high school was thrown out of his house when his mother found a photo of his boyfriend, but his grandmother moved to Philly to take care of him so he could stay in the same school district, and his sister never gave him up.”

“Some families are just…bad. Dysfunctional.” Evelyn shook her head. “My own mother called me while I was getting the journals for you, and she immediately asked what I needed to plan the funeral. Then she made me promise to ask you if she could ask about the babies.”

Evan looked at her, alarmed. “Does your mother…?”

Evelyn quickly shook her head. “She only wants to make sure they’ll be taken care of, which I assured her they will. My mother was a reluctant parent to all three of us, and she was overly critical of us as well, and she understands why I don’t want to do it. She’ll be surprised when I move back to Colorado Springs, but that’s not my problem. My father and stepmother would probably jump at the chance to be grandparents, but I have two half-brothers from them who can provide the grandchildren.”

“Okay,” Evan said, relieved. “Is there going to be a funeral?”

“A memorial service,” Evelyn said. “Autumn didn’t want to be left in a box, so her living will states that she’ll be cremated. It might sound morbid, but I’ll be having some of her ashes turned into a diamond so I can keep her with me always.”

“I think that’s actually pretty awesome,” Evan admitted. “I’ve seen ash jewelry that contains the ash, but I’ve never seen a gemstone made from them. I also think you need to do whatever you need to mourn Autumn properly. Nobody that matters will judge you.”

“And anybody that judges me doesn’t matter,” Evelyn concluded. “I almost wish you and I were friends, Buckley. Autumn thought a lot of you.”

Evan smiled sadly. “I thought a lot of her, too. That’s why I’d like anything you care to give me of hers, to share with the babies. I admit that I don’t know nearly enough about her.”

From the corner of his eye, Evan saw Autumn’s mother move from her husband’s embrace, so he prepared himself to be confronted. As if sensing danger and conflict, Magdelina moved to his side and hooked her arm around his.

“Are you the donor?” Tracy Kirkpatrick asked with steel in her voice, and Evan blinked in shock—mostly for the intensity of her voice, but also because of the blatant disregard of his relationship to the babies in the NICU.

“I beg your pardon,” Magdelina interjected, chastising the other woman clearly. “My grandson is the father of the recently delivered infants.”

“No,” Tracy denied. “My daughter was the mother and they’re coming home with me.”

“Actually,” Evan said, composing himself and drawing up to his full height, “the babies aren’t going anywhere at the moment. They had a traumatic entrance to the world, and they need care. Medical care. Legally, I am the only person that can determine who has access to the infants beyond medical staff, and you and your husband are not on that list. Morally, I wouldn’t hand over a child of any age to the people who tossed their mother away like garbage because of her sexuality. I have a duty to make sure they grow up with love and understanding, so you will not have any access to them.”

“You can’t do that!” Tracy hissed. “I have a right!”

“You have no rights,” Evan countered. “You gave up your rights.”

“But…I didn’t know there would be babies…”

“It really doesn’t matter what you knew or not,” Evelyn said, uncharacteristically trying to be gentle. “It doesn’t matter if you wanted to know Autumn as she became a mother or not. Your desires in this matter are of no concern because Autumn was shot and is no longer. I did my duty to her by contacting you at all when I really didn’t have to.” Evelyn squared her shoulders and wiped a stray tear from her eye. “I could have had Autumn’s memorial without you, and you would never have known because I personally don’t think you deserve to know. But somehow, I think Autumn would have wanted you to be able to see her one last time, so you’ve done that. Please go.”

“No,” Tracy demanded. “I have rights! I want my babies!”

Evan lifted stricken eyes to Alan Kirkpatrick and saw the man wiping at his eyes even as his other hand was clenched into a fist. When the older man looked up, Evan shook his own head slowly.

“Tracy,” Alan croaked, “come here. These…people don’t need your demands right now.”

Tracy spun around, eyes blazing. “No, Alan! I have rights! They will give me my babies!” She pointed a shaking finger at her husband. “You made her go away! You said she was shameful, and she had no place in your house! Now you can make them give me my babies!”

A security guard that had been watching unobtrusively from the doorway made his way over and said, “Ma’am, you need to calm down. This is a place of healing.”

“I’m not healing!” Tracy shouted. “I’m not calm and I’m not going to be! My little girl is dead!”

“Tracy,” Alan coaxed, reaching out to her. “Come here, Tracy. There’s nothing here for us.”

“No! They have my babies!” Tracy was full-out sobbing and shaking with anger and grief. “I want my babies!”

Alan wrapped his arm around Tracy’s shoulders and pulled her toward the doors. “We need to go, Tracy. The woman is right; she didn’t have to tell us about the shooting. The doctors didn’t have to let us see her body.”

“I want my baby!” Tracy sobbed. “I wish she never left!”

The security guard held the door open while Alan Kirkpatrick led his distraught wife into the parking lot. Evan sighed in relief and leaned into his grandmother’s embrace. Absently, he glanced at his watch and noted the time.

Three O’clock.

Twelve hours since he got the phone call instructing him to get to the hospital.

Twelve hours since he was told to say good-bye to a lovely woman, he wished he knew better.

Twelve hours since he was told he was going to be a father.

~~ ~~ ~~

Evan groaned and stretched his arms over his head before turning the water on in his shower, making sure it was as hot as he could stand. He had earned this shower.

The last five weeks were almost a blur, with memorials for Autumn Kirkpatrick and well-meant showers for Evan and the babies. Evelyn Waters stayed in Denver only long enough to put her apartment on the market because she could not bear to live in the place Autumn was killed, much less to sleep in the same bed. She visited the babies in the NICU two days after they were born, and then she sent a messenger to Evan’s condo with copies of Autumn’s journals for the babies. There was a note promising copies of the home movies that Evelyn had already packed away, so Evan had that to look forward to.

Autumn’s parents had returned to South Bend as quietly as they came, but Evan had a feeling that he had not heard the last of them. Tracy Kirkpatrick had been vocal to the very end, decrying the decision to keep the babies from her and her husband. In defense of his children, Evan made sure the birth certificates had been properly filed and that he had copies of those and the paternity tests in a safe deposit box. The birth certificates listed Autumn Kirkpatrick as the mother, because how could he not, but Evan made sure they had been filed privately so Autumn’s parents could not access them in an attempt to gain custody.

Yara Valerie Buckley (strong little butterfly), previously Baby A, had been out of her incubator for only two days, but Evan had dutifully spent those days in the NICU holding her against his bare chest, bonding with her.

Zoe Bente Buckley (life full of joy), previously Baby B, was still slightly behind in her lung development, and was still in the incubator. Evan had been allowed to touch her through the portal holes in the side of the vessel and she always turned toward him when he did. Evan would be allowed to bring Yara home soon, so he had been making room for two cribs in his suite sitting room. He felt guilty that Zoe would not be coming home with her sister, but the nurse assured him that she wouldn’t suffer for it.

She was, Evan was sure, in the best place for healing. Evan made sure to spend as much time in the NICU with Zoe, just talking to her and singing to her. She always turned toward his voice so he knew she would recognize him.

But making the preparations to bring even one of the twins home was taxing. Evelyn had given him the receipts for the furniture that had been ordered for the babies, so Evan had called the store and changed the delivery address to his place. Tomas and Yelena had been helping to make a place for the babies in the condo and Yelena had been making noises about babysitting after Evan went back to work. He quickly nixed that idea because she was still in school and needed to concentrate on that. Just having the babies in the condo would be enough of a distraction.

Evan’s parents had flown in the week before, after deciding that arriving just after Autumn’s death would be crass. At first, everything seemed fine. Philip Buckley commiserated with Evan over the loss of a dear friend and told him how proud he was that Evan was standing up and taking the babies to raise on his own. Margaret Buckley had seemed enthralled with the tiny infants, who were still in incubators at that time, but had declined the chance to hold Yara in the hospital. Philip did not decline the offer and seemed set to bond with his first granddaughter.

He also sang to Zoe through the incubator, which melted Evan’s heart a little bit.

Philip, Evan, and Tomas joined forces to put together furniture in the sitting room/nursery. The room wasn’t really being used anyway, except for times when Evan needed to decompress after a long, horrible shift. He preferred to watch the TV in the main living room, so he only used his private sitting room when he wanted privacy. There had been a pair of over-stuff armchairs, a long sofa, a coffee table and a built-in media center with shelves. Most of that could be put into storage in the garage, and Evan wanted to use the media center as clothing storage for the twins. All of the baby furniture was flat-packed and DIY, so once it was delivered it needed to be moved into place and put together. Lifting the boxes was no hardship for Evan, but the instructions were in a language he didn’t understand and the pictures were blurry.

Tomas solved the problem by bringing up the instructions on his Ipad, and Philip and Evan got to work. Tomas and Yelena made sure there were no parts or hardware left over from the construction, and Yelena took the photos that Evan would post on his Instagram as well as the family Facebook group.

None of that was particularly taxing. Evan had a good time preparing for his little family with his father and cousins. His grandmother was in and out of the condo, taking measurements for throw rugs and wall décor. She tried to include Margaret in the process, but Margaret was happy to stay in the hotel suite she and Philip were occupying, drinking wine (tea if Magdelina was present) and playing on her phone.

Or so Evan had thought—until earlier that day.

>>Evan had just come back to the condo after conferring with the pediatrician about Yara’s homecoming, and he found Philip pacing around his living room in quiet fury.

“Um, hey…Dad,” Evan said as he glanced around the open area of the condo, trying to find other occupants. “What’s going on?”

“Your mother,” Philip ground out between clenched jaws, “has called Maddie back from Italy.”

Evan stared at him for a moment before heading into the kitchen for a bottle of water. “That’s good, right? I mean, Maddie’s been out of touch for years, I thought. I didn’t know Mom was in contact with her.”

“No,” Philip said, sitting heavily on the sofa, “Maddie hasn’t contacted anyone else. I didn’t know Margaret was texting her, either. Mother has seen her when she traveled to Europe, of course, but Maddie never let on that she was in contact with Margaret then.”

Evan shrugged and offered a bottle of water to his father before sitting in an easy chair across from him. “Okay, so Maddie is talking to Mom. I mean, I was overjoyed when Maddie joined the Facebook group, but she never posted there so I never really thought about it. What’s the big deal?”

Philip looked at his youngest son and frowned. “Margaret had convinced Maddie to come back so that she can take custody of your babies and raise them with Margaret’s help.”

Evan choked on his water. “Well,” he said after wiping his mouth with his arm, “that’s not going to happen.”

“Your mother thinks it will,” Philip asserted. “She thinks you’re too young and that your job is too dangerous.”

Evan huffed. “Plenty of people doing my ‘dangerous’ job are successful parents, and wasn’t Mom my age when she had Daniel?”

Philip snorted despite the serious conversation. “I really don’t think logic has entered your mother’s plans. And Maddie seems to be completely sold on the idea, so she’s planning to move back to Hershey as quickly as possible. Which makes no damn sense since the whole family seems to have abandoned Pennsylvania altogether. Margaret has been sending her house listings for our old neighborhood.”

Evan picked at the plastic label on the water bottle as he considered what his father just told him. After a long while he looked up and asked, “Do you think I’m making a mistake? Am I too young for this?”

Philip gave him a pained look. “No, Evan. Just…no. You’re very mature, which I blame my mother for, and you’ve been very responsible all your life. I’m so proud of the man you’ve become, and I think you’ll be an amazing father.”

Evan sighed and rubbed his forehead with his thumb. “I need to get ahead of this before Maddie arrives. Yara will be coming home tomorrow, and I’ve already had to tell Lina that the baby didn’t need a giant teddy bear. Hell, the pediatrician recommends that no stuffies are in the crib with her until she’s maybe six years old.”

“My mother will be an enthusiastic ally in the raising of your children,” Philip laughed.

“Oh, I know! I remember how much she complained about the slow build Daniel and Helle had going on, stating that she wanted to be a very young great-grandmother.”

Evan stood up and walked to the door to the new nursery. Opening the door, he leaned on the door frame and stared at the empty furniture. “I was fully prepared to fight Autumn’s parents for the babies, but I never thought I would have to fight my own.”

Philip moved behind him and laid a hand on Evan’s shoulder. “I’m on your side, Evan. Your brother is on your side, too.” He laughed sadly and added, “From the comments on the Facebook group, half the family is willing to throw down in your favor just to protect those precious girls.”

“Yeah,” Evan sighed. “But it shouldn’t come to that, should it?”

He entered the nursery and picked up a colorful stuffy butterfly, squeezing it gently in his hands. “I guess I’ll just have to host a family dinner tonight, to get everybody ready to welcome Yara home. And I’ll have to lay down the law to Mom—in as nice a way as I can.” He absently rubbed his chest over his heart, where a new tattoo of the girls’ footprints arranged as a heart was placed.

Replacing the butterfly on the shelf, Evan turned to his father. “You can call Mom for dinner, and I’ll get Tomas to help me cook. He’s actually really good in the kitchen.”

Philip nodded and said, “I’ll make the arrangements. Thanks for calming me down, son.”

“I can’t have negative vibes around my babies, Dad.”<<

Evan stepped into the shower and stood under the hot spray. His mother, he reflected, did not take kindly to being told that her plans were not going to work. He had explained, as gently and kindly as he could, that nobody was going to take his babies away from him. He told her that he understood her motives, but he was a lot stronger than she gave him credit for, and as Maddie had been absent from his life for almost ten years, she really wasn’t the person to best evaluate Evan’s ability to parent.

Margaret had whined, then bitched, then complained, but Evan held fast. Philip backed him up completely, even going as far as telling his wife that her attitude might well ensure that she never got to see the babies at all. That led to more crying, which had quickly given Evan a headache. The tension building in his shoulders from trying to explain to his mother that she had no better chance of getting custody of the babies than Autumn’s family had added to the headache.

And a backache. And his jaw hurt from gritting his teeth.

And Margaret had gotten a text from Maddie announcing that she would be flying into Harrisburg from New York in a week, which set off another argument about how Maddie deserved to raise children after all she’d been through.

Ten years ago.

Evan pointed out that Maddie had had plenty of time to have babies the old-fashioned way, like normal people, and she also could always adopt if giving birth was difficult for her. But that wasn’t necessarily true.

It turned out that Maddie’s injuries were a lot worse than was revealed to Evan when he was fifteen: internal injuries, occurring when Doug Kendall was kicking Maddie in the abdomen, meant that Maddie may never be able to have her own children.

Cue more whining and bitching and complaining—and pleading.

By the time Philip was escorting Margaret, forcibly, from the condo, Evan really wanted a scalding hot shower.

He needed it.

He deserved it.

The last thing he heard from his cousin Tomas before he entered his suite was, “Parents be crazy, yo.”

Indeed.

Chapter Twelve: 2014 Continued

Evan looked at the package with a bemused expression. Beside him, Magdelina looked quite pleased with herself.

“It’s early, you know,” Evan said. “My birthday is at the end of the month.”

Magdelina tutted again and told him to open his gift, so he did. Nestled on a bed of shredded paper lay two glittering tree ornaments. They were labeled ‘Baby’s First Christmas’ and they were acid-etched with portraits of Yara and Zoe.

Evan smiled at Magdelina and said, “These are perfect, Lina, thank you.”

“Yes, well, they can be first on the tree you have yet to put up. And I do agree about the artificial tree because your cousin Frederic almost lost his house last year because he let his tree dry out and a spark from his fireplace ignited it.”

“Why didn’t I hear about this last year?” Evan asked. “And why was the tree that close to the fireplace? Didn’t he know it was a potential fire hazard?”

Magdelina laughed and said, “This is why you weren’t told last year. Frederic was afraid you would go on Facebook Live to berate him for his careless choice.”

Evan shook his head and took the ornaments to the living room to place them on the coffee table. “I’ll have to put these where I can find them when I set up the tree in six months. And I wonder how the girls will react to Christmas.”

“Bah—they’ll love the colorful lights and decorations.”

Evan shook his head and poured a cup of tea from the service on the side table and handed it to Magdelina before pouring his own. She sipped delicately from the cup before regarding her grandson seriously.

“You have done well, Evan,” she said finally, causing him to blush.

“I don’t think anyone really expected me to handle two infants well,” he admitted. “The hardest part is the feeding, but I have noticed that Zoe eats better if I feed Yara first. The skin-to-skin bonding is a big thing we all do together, and I think I’ll cry when they become too big to cuddle at the same time.”

Magdelina laughed because it was true. Yara and Zoe were only four months old and they had grown quite well despite their desperate beginnings. Of course, because they were born premature, their corrected age was two months old, so that was where Evan and his family were told to count the milestones from. Magdelina had a difficult time remembering that and was quite alarmed when they could not raise up onto their elbows at four actual months. She had called her granddaughter-in-law for advice and was gently rebuked for worrying over nothing.

Almost from the very first, both girls looked for Evan when he spoke or sang to them. And when Zoe had been left behind in the NICU after five weeks, she cried and reached out for her sister.

Or her father.

It was difficult to tell, really, which human brought the most comfort to the infant.

What Magdelina knew for certain was that Yara fussed a lot when she was brought home, and only seemed to be consoled when Evan took her to the hospital to see Zoe.

Her darlings were going to rule the world.

After their nap.

“I will buy them silly dresses for their first visit to Santa,” Evan said, bringing her out of her memory. “Are you going to come with us when the time comes?”

“Just try to stop me,” she said with a cheeky grin. “I shall be in the photographs with them so that they remember me.”

“They’ll remember you,” Evan said curtly, “because you’ll be dropping in frequently as they grow up.”

“Si, Evan, that is true. And we will be plotting their graduation adventure before you know it.”

“No,” Evan demanded. “Do not make my babies grow up too fast!”

Magdelina set her teacup on the coffee table and crossed her legs elegantly at the ankle. “Tell me, Evan, how are you getting on with the nanny service?”

Evan rolled his eyes. “I think I’ve interviewed every nanny available. I’ll never find one before Clara goes off to Grad School.”

Clara Rubio Delgado was another cousin that rallied behind Evan when he decided to raise his own children. She had lived in New Jersey for most of her life and aspired to become a teacher. Knowing ‘Cousin Ev’ would need help, Clara sent him a private message on Instagram, basically inviting herself to live on his sofa so she could care for the babies when he went back to work. Unfortunately, she was waiting for an acceptance to graduate school and was only going to be available until August.

Magdelina’s solution was to register Evan with a nanny service, and they were supposed to send someone before Clara left. “Evan! What could possibly have been wrong with so many of them?”

“Well, the first one was older than you, literally, and had no hope of caring for both girls.”

Magdelina blinked in surprise. “I was certain that I mentioned twins when I filled out your application.”

“You did,” Evan confirmed. “But the agency sent Mrs. Haggerty over anyway because, and I quote here: how difficult could they be?”

Magdelina rolled her own eyes and motioned for Evan to refill her teacup, which he did. “And the others?”

“Well, there were two college students who said outright that they didn’t change diapers because they were gross, and they thought they were being assigned to older children.”

“Did they come together?” she asked, confused.

“No, they came on separate days,” Evan said. “But they clearly rehearsed their responses. The next possibility was a divorcee who wanted to bring her own children into my home while she pretended to watch my children.”

“Ah, Dios mio!”

“Si, Lina. The next was a lovely young woman who thought I would be offered a job perk.” Evan refilled his own cup. “Then came a thirty-something man who thought the same thing.”

“I could tell you that you are a beautiful man, mi estrella brillante, but that does not excuse such unprofessionalism.”

“No,” he laughed, “it does not. And that is precisely what I told the managing director of the service. Now I don’t have a nanny, and that service is down three of their staff.”

Magdelina shook her head in dismay. “Perhaps a nanny service is the wrong way to go about things.”

“Well, as much as I don’t want to depend on family for this, Yelena is still trying to hire herself.”

“Bah, allow her to spoil your darlings as a proper cousin should, but remind her that her talents would be wasted as a child-care professional.”

“I tell her that every day,” he replied with a laugh. “But she’s still right there, helping to bathe and feed the girls—or entertaining one while I bathe the other.”

“Hmm, perhaps a health care aide would be better?” Magdelina suggested. “Certainly that would give you another measure of peace while you are away from home.”

Evan inclined his head in measured agreement. “You’re not wrong, Lina. But how would we even go about hiring a nurse or aide? The girls don’t have any health issues, thank heavens, so I don’t exactly have a need, and I would never presume to take a health care provider from someone who needs them.”

“Of course you would not, Evan. Let me make some calls, si? I may not be able to pull miracles out of my purse, as I know your brother seems to think, but I made many friends in my lifetime and one of them may have a suggestion.”

“Okay then,” Evan agreed, “I’ll let you make your calls, and we’ll see what happens. I believe in you.”

He certainly would have said more, but a muffled cry sounded from the baby monitor on the coffee table and he excused himself to gather his babies. Magdelina offered to help him, but he assured her that he could handle the babies.

And he really could, he thought as he flicked the light switch on the wall. Both girls were awake and kicking their tiny feet, but Zoe was the noisemaker that time.

“Hey there, pretty ladies,” Evan cooed as he entered the room. Both babies kicked their legs happily in response to his voice. “Did you have a good nap? I bet you did! Now, I’m gonna check some diapers before I take you to see Lina, so behave and be patient, okay?”

They were not generally fussy babies and Evan was grateful for that. They cried when they were distressed, but they laughed more often, despite four months being too young for laughing. They were also very happy with any attention paid to them, whether it was Tomas making faces at them while he studied or Yelena actually tickling and talking to them during bath time.

Evan didn’t allow the twins access to many visitors for a myriad of reasons. For one thing, he was warned that their immune systems were still fragile and would be until the girls were a year old. Then there was what Evan called the ‘Parent Issue’, where Autumn Kirkpatrick’s parents would periodically send letters begging for access to the girls or just outright threatening to take them from him, and Evan’s own mother was being incredibly vocal in her opinion that Evan was too young/ had too dangerous a job/was too immature/ had no freaking right to raise his own children. Evan practically threw his mother out of the whole state of Colorado because of her objections. In the end, Evan’s father had to return to California because the housing development was about to begin construction and as the chief architect, he needed to be on site.

Evan’s father and brother (and awesome sister-in-law) called and video-called frequently and Evan had no problem with them visiting the girls, but that’s because he knew Philip and Daniel Buckley would never try to kidnap his girls and hand them over to his sister in some misguided attempt to ‘complete her life’. Maddie herself was smart enough not to contact him directly because he lambasted her on the family Facebook group after she lobbied to take the twins from him after their birth. Maddie had even abandoned her idea to buy a house in Hershey since she had a panic attack when her plane landed in Harrisburg. Apparently, moving back to the city she was almost killed in was not a great idea, and Magdelina made sure Maddie went back into therapy after installing her into the townhouse in Philly.

So Evan had a few family members that could visit, and even fewer friends that he trusted with his girls, but he was super careful with them otherwise. For the most part, everyone supported Evan’s protectiveness. There was nothing he wouldn’t do, within legal means, to keep his girls safe.

There was one minor hiccup in Evan’s life, when Emily King, his ex-girlfriend, almost caused a scene at the Fire Department’s baby shower for him and the twins. They broke up, by mutual decision, because Evan admitted that, while he enjoyed spending time with Emily, ultimately he wanted a family and she was child-free by choice. Like most of their fellow first responders, Emily had been pleased when Autumn Kirkpatrick became pregnant by IVF and a sperm donor. Emily had said that Autumn was clearly meant to be a mother because she was incredibly nurturing, and Emily had mourned along with the rest of them when Autumn was killed in an accidental shooting—surviving only long enough to have her children delivered.

And then it became common knowledge that Evan had been the donor that Autumn had used, and the babies were his. While most of the department had supported him when Autumn’s partner, Evelyn Waters, declared that she didn’t want custody of the babies and Evan needed to take them to protect them from Autumn’s family. Emily did not take the news well.

First, she tried to accuse Evan of gaslighting her by lying about the pregnancy. When more than one person at the shower told her that she was out of line, she tried to say that Evan had no business trying to make a family with Autumn while dating her. Evan had to remind her that he gave the donation long before he and Emily ever began dating. He also had to calmly explain that he wasn’t making a family with Autumn, but was rather enabling her to create a family of her own, and if she had lived, he would have had no hand at all in raising the twins because he had relinquished all rights to the babies. Evan couldn’t understand why she was hurt now, after Autumn had passed and he took custody of the babies, when she had agreed that children were never going to be in her future, and she would not be a good partner for Evan because of that.

In the end, Emily admitted that her anger was stupid, that she felt stupid for letting him go when he was the best thing in her life, and that maybe she could work around her lack of interest in kids so they could get back together.

Evan had noped right out of that conversation and bid everyone at the shower a good-night—and then he went to the hospital and spent time begging his incubated twins not to become crazy women when they grew up.

The night nurse had laughed at him.

Four months later, Evan still managed to spend the odd evening out with coworkers and colleagues thanks to Yelena hogging the babies, but he avoided Emily King like she was on fire.

The irony did not escape him.

His girls, however, were his life, and despite how he got there he’d never been happier.

After changing two stinky diapers, Evan carried the girls out to the living room, where Magdelina promptly took Zoe away from him. Evan laughed and tickled Yara to keep her from fussing about her sister and carried her to the kitchen for a bottle. Magdelina followed, chattering to Zoe and laughing at her babbled responses.

“You are fortunate that they are such happy babies, Evan.”

“Yeah, several of my coworkers have already warned me against the terrible twos,” he admitted, “so I’m going to enjoy them now and worry about that later.”

Magdelina helped Evan feed the girls before he put them down for ‘tummy time’ in the living room. The girls were happy to interact with each other and their toys. Evan found a long, unbreakable mirror at a thrift store that he placed on the floor near their playmats and both girls reached toward it when they played. He’d been reading all the childhood development books that he could find, which amused his brother to no end.

“Always looking for good resources, Evan?” Daniel had joked, referencing the illustrated sex books he had bought for Evan when he was younger.

“You’re the one who taught me that,” Evan had snarked back.

After fifteen minutes had passed, Evan gathered Zoe while Magdelina picked up Yara. They cuddled the babies side-by-side on the sofa while they resumed their conversation.

“How is the job treating you, querido?” Magdelina asked as Yara stared at the beaded bracelet she wore.

“It breaks my heart almost every day,” Evan said. “But I wouldn’t change a thing.” He looked over at her and said, “I know it’s not what anyone wanted for me, but I really believe that I’m making a difference and helping people.”

Magdelina reached out to touch his arm. “Never doubt that the people who know you best understand that, Evan. I am glad that you found your path through the world. And this may not be the way you achieved your dreams, but I know you are living the best life that you can.”

Evan smiled and blushed. “I just wish…why can’t Mom see that? And why does Maddie suddenly feel the need to uproot my life?”

Magdelina sighed. “You mother has always had a difficult time feeling for you; you know that. While I do believe she loves you in her own way, you were not part of her original plan for her own life, and she does not seem to know how to deal with that.”

“I know,” he sighed. “I learned a long time ago that Mom’s love language isn’t always healthy or helpful. She honestly probably believes that removing the girls from me will be beneficial to me in some way. What she doesn’t get is that I fell in love with them the first time I saw them.”

“Si, that was very clear to anyone who was with you that first day.”

Evan smiled and said, “Have I ever told you how thankful I am that you have a private jet?”

She laughed, which made Yara laugh.

Which made Zoe laugh.

“I will always be by your side when I can,” Magdelina said after a moment. “It was clear to me that I was needed, and so I came. Your father would have done the same, but I told him that you did not need to be overwhelmed at that time.”

“I already dread celebrating birthdays,” Evan admitted. “How can I tell the girls that it’s okay to be happy on that day when it’s the day their mother died.”

“You will find a way,” Magdelina said. “You will always find a way.”

They were silent for a while, just watching the girls babble at each other. After a moment, Evan said, “I got a call from Daniel the other day. He and Helle are going to try to start a family now that they’re settled.”

Magdelina blinked in surprise. “Really? He has said nothing to me about this, and I was talking to him just a week ago.”

Evan shrugged. “Daniel’s job is going well. Helle is going to be joining a family practice near USC.” He laughed softly and said, “She made the first move there, you know, but she decided the job she originally had wasn’t a good fit for her. Daniel is willing to let her guide her own career as she sees fit.”

“He wants to make her happy,” Magdelina surmised. “She is good for him, I think.”

“Yeah, I think so, too.”

Magdelina cleared her throat and said, “I received a call from your sister last week. She would like to visit you.”

“If she wants to visit me, why hasn’t she contacted me?”

Magdelina pressed her lips together tightly for a moment. “I think,” she eventually said, “that Maddie feels that you will not forgive her for overstepping when the babies were born.”

Evan shook his head as he gazed at his happy daughters. “I don’t know Maddie well enough now to forgive her or not. While part of me understands the isolation Doug Kendall forced on her while they were married, I will never understand why she basically checked out of my life when she went off to college.” He looked up at his grandmother and said, “I was with you for a long time, Lina. Maddie knew where I was, and she never called. She didn’t call me, you, or Daniel for years, and then she dropped back into our parents’ lives when she got married—but only because that asshat she married got a job in the city they lived in.

“And when you sent her to that clinic in Switzerland to heal, I think you’re the only one besides Mom that she talked to at all.”

Magdelina was silent, focusing her attention on Yara for the longest time. “I don’t understand her myself,” she said after a while. “I have never interfered with the way your parents raised you and your siblings, Evan. I believed that Philip and Margaret should find their own way through parenthood, the same as I did. However, that did not stop me from stepping in when I was needed, as I did when you were a child.”

“I know, Lina. I’m not saying they were perfect parents, but I did believe they loved us.” Evan frowned as he added, “Well, I know my mother loved Daniel and Maddie, anyway. Dad’s love for me was never in question. He made time for every school function I had, even if Mom missed them. I just don’t understand why Maddie dropped out of the family when she went off to college. Or why she did it again after what happened with Doug.”

“I think…perhaps Margaret focused as much detrimental attention on Maddie as she did to Daniel.”

Magdelina nudged Evan’s arm and nodded to Zoe, indicating that she wanted to switch babies, so Evan allowed the switch. Magdelina lifted Zoe easily to her face and kissed the laughing baby’s chin. “When Maddie was born, she was a darling, just like your little girls. Margaret sometimes treated her like a little doll, dressing her in frilly clothes and pampering her in a ridiculous manner. When Daniel was born, Margaret doted on him as the only son, but Maddie was still treated like a little princess.

“I remember when Maddie wanted to join a softball team when she was perhaps six or seven years old, and Margaret had a fit, declaring that girls did not play boys’ sports and that Maddie could try out for gymnastics or ballet instead.”

Evan chuckled softly. “Maddie hated dancing. I do remember that much.”

“Si,” Magdelina agreed. “I have come to realize that Margaret firmly believes in traditional gender roles to a detrimental degree. When Daniel declared that he wanted to become a doctor, she was overjoyed. He was only eight years old, but he had already spent so much time in the hospital that doctors and nurses were part of his normal life. However, when Maddie said perhaps she would also like to be a doctor, Margaret told her that nursing would be a better choice for a girl.”

Evan wrinkled his nose in distaste. “I believe that’s a mild example of gender stereotyping. I mean, I know several nurses that are men, and you can’t tell me that there haven’t been female doctors as long as you’ve been alive.”

“No, I do agree. And as much as I wanted to point that out to Margaret back then, it was not my place.” Magdelina sighed and hugged Zoe gently. “I believe that Margaret’s father may be to blame for many of her views, even today. I did tell you about her brother, Mitchell, and how Margaret shunned him due to his sexuality.”

“Yeah,” Evan grimaced. “Shi, um, stuff like that made my decision to keep my relationships secret from my parents. I may have dated a few women since high school, but I have dated a couple of men. I know Daniel wouldn’t care if I had a male partner, and I’m pretty sure Dad wouldn’t care, but Mom would use that against me in some way.”

Magdelina reached out and wrapped a hand around his wrist. “You know that I would never turn you away for loving someone.”

Evan laughed and leaned over to kiss her cheek. “I know. The way you quickly handled the situation with Geoff in high school proved that.”

“Si, well,” she sniffed haughtily. “I had an uncle when I was much younger that was a ‘confirmed bachelor’. That was the term used back then, I believe. He was an uncle on my mother’s side, and we visited infrequently. He lived in Estepona and worked as a fisherman with his best friend. My mother never spoke of their relationship openly, but she never disparaged it.”

“Well I suppose that attitude was quite progressive at that time,” Evan conceded. “I guess that kind of relationship was illegal then?”

“In almost every country,” Magdelina confirmed. “It still is in many places, much to my disgust. Love should never be against the law.”

“Um, some love should be,” Evan corrected. “There are pedophiles out there that declare their acts to be ‘from love’, and I find that to be intolerable.”

“Well, no one should act against someone or something that can not make their own choice or defend themselves.”

Magdelina had definite ideas about things that mattered.

“I will make sure Maddie knows not to visit for your birthday, and that she should call first at the very least.”

“Thanks, Lina.” Evan sighed. “I think I need to mentally prepare for Maddie making contact. Maybe tell her to wait a few more months, until I can get a nanny or care provider, and the girls are more settled.”

“Si, that makes sense, nieto.”

~~

“Hello, Maddie. It’s been a while.”

Evan had answered the call from an unknown number with much trepidation, fully expecting it to be one of the Kirkpatricks again. Instead, it was his long-lost sister.

He wanted to be surprised, but thanks to the heads-up from his grandmother, he wasn’t.

“Evan, it’s good to hear your voice.”

“Is it?” he asked with a frown. “I mean, surely you could have called before now if you wanted to hear my voice.”

Maddie sighed. “I suppose that’s fair. It has been a while.”

“Yeah,” he agreed. “Something like eight years, give or take.”

“I’m sorry, Evan,” she said, and her voice took on a whiney timbre.

Evan took a breath, pinching the bridge of his nose to stave off a headache. “What, exactly, are you apologizing for, Maddie? I mean, I understand why you stayed out of touch while you were at the clinic, because you should have been concentrating on yourself at that time. But you made some decisions I just do not understand.”

“Like trying to adopt your twins?” she asked softly. “I just thought…Oh, I don’t know what I was thinking, Evan! I figured you were too young to be held down by children you weren’t prepared for.”

“So, what? You thought you’d ease my burden?” Evan knew he sounded bitter, but he couldn’t help it. “Maddie, twenty-three isn’t exactly young, and I’ve been supporting myself for a while now. I’m not just a kid anymore, but you wouldn’t know that, would you?”

“Oh, Evan,” Maddie sobbed, and he was just about done.

“Maddie,” he sighed, “you always cry when you get defensive. That’s one thing I do remember from when we were younger. Why are you calling now, after all this time?”

He heard her take a shuddery breath before she said, “When Gran told me that I would be unwelcome to visit during your birthday, I was hurt. I mean, birthdays are supposed to be a time for family, and she told me that you didn’t want me there. It made me realize that we hadn’t been family in a long time, and I would like to fix that.”

Evan turned to glance into his living room, where Yelena and Tomas were playing with the twins in front of the Christmas tree. He’d had to work on Christmas Eve, but he was off the twenty-fifth and twenty-sixth. The holiday was subdued and comfortable. Yara and Zoe were too young to remember the holiday, so there was no big celebration planned. His current favorite decorations were the new ‘First Christmas’ ornaments and the photos with Santa.

“You know,” he said after a moment, “I frequently wished to see you again, just so you could tell me about yourself. The last time I physically saw you, you were in the hospital after your attack, so I really wanted confirmation that you were physically healed at the least. I know for a fact that loads of therapy would have been needed to get your head on straight.”

“I did…heal,” Maddie admitted. “Mom tried to tell me that therapy was unnecessary, but deep down I knew I needed it. Switzerland was amazing, but after all the therapy was done and all of my bones were back in one piece, I needed to get away from there.”

“I get that,” Evan said. “Really, I do. But I also always found comfort near my family, and I’m sorry that you don’t.”

“That’s not it at all,” Maddie denied. “At first, I was afraid to go where Doug’s family could find me. I didn’t know if they would somehow blame me for his death despite the fact that he tried to kill me first. Their lawyer found me in Switzerland to inform me that I was the beneficiary of Doug’s life insurance policy. His parents wanted me to sign it over to them, but Gran stepped in and said that money was the least of what I deserved due to the abuse I suffered during my marriage.

“But they still found me at that clinic, and I was afraid they would find me again, so I stayed far away.”

Evan frowned at the phone. “I guess that’s fair as far as your location goes, but you had everybody’s phone numbers. Daniel hasn’t changed his phone number in years, and he has mine. Mom and Dad have had the same number since they lived in that house in Hershey, and only changed their landline number when they moved to California. You also could have dropped a letter or postcard in the mail at any time, just to let us know you were okay. Not that I’m not happy about the postcards that Lina forwarded, but it seems like you only passed those along when you saw her, which wasn’t often.”

“I can’t answer that,” Maddie said, so quietly Evan almost didn’t hear her. “After a while, I guess it was just easier to stay out of contact. I did try, in my own small way, by joining that Facebook group the Rubios set up. At least I could see what was going on with you. But after everyone posted photos of Daniel’s wedding, I realized how much I was missing. That’s when I started making plans to return to the States. I finally realized that I was all alone and wasn’t as happy as I needed to be. Something basic, some family elements, were missing.”

Evan sighed and walked back into the kitchen. “So when you saw the post that Dad made about the twins, what? You thought you’d take my family since you didn’t have your own?”

“Evan, no! I honestly thought it would be a help to you. I thought maybe you’d move back to Pennsylvania to be close to them, but I would raise them with Mom’s help.”

Evan shook his head. “Let’s just…table that discussion, because the whole thing makes me furious, and I don’t need to be furious right now. What did you call for tonight? When I asked that you wait a while to call, I think I was expecting a call closer to Labor Day than Christmas.”

“Um, I was wondering if you would mind a visit after New Year’s. I thought we could get past the holidays and maybe I could come to see you and your daughters.”

Evan flipped through the calendar on the kitchen wall before saying, “I have four days off starting January sixth, and then I’m at work for two days after that. I’m willing to meet with you, Maddie, but you can’t stay here so you’ll have to get a hotel. You can call Lina for a recommendation if you like, unless you stay in the family quarters at the resort.”

“Oh, um, I thought Gran stayed with you when she visited.”

“She prefers a hotel or the resort,” Evan corrected. “She stayed here after the birth of the twins because, frankly, I needed her support. She has always made every effort to help family when she could.”

“Right, well…I suppose I should make a flight reservation and ask for a hotel recommendation. Thank you, Evan. I really do want to try.”

“I know, Maddie,” he said with a sigh. “I guess I do, too.”

After he disconnected the call, Evan found himself wondering why family had to be so complicated.

~fin~

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