Reading Time: 104 Minutes

Title: Choosing Love
Author: DarkJediQueen
Fandom: 9-1-1
Genre: Drama, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Romance, Slash
Relationship(s): Evan Buckley/Tommy Kinard, Background Relationships
Content Rating: NC-17
Warnings: *No Mandatory Warnings Apply. Explicit Sex, Canon Typical Violence, Daddy Kink
Author Note: 9-1-1 went there, and I said fuck that shit. So, 8.06 is mostly deleted from my memory. Tommy and Abby are not exes. It just doesn’t make sense at all and was shoehorned in so much. Also, this was plotted and mostly written in the hiatus between the first and second half of the season, so this is a fix-it for 8A and barely takes anything into account for 8B.
Beta: Starkindler
Alpha: Starkindler
Word Count: 52,754
Summary: Love had never chosen him before, and when faced with the idea of it, Tommy chooses love. Because he did love Evan so much.
Artist: didbuckygetaplum
Artist Appreciation: Thank you so much for the lovely, lovely art.

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Chapter Seven

Tommy wasn’t sure what woke him, but he looked around the bedroom in the dark until he realized that there was no limpet attached to his side, stealing all of his warmth. He relaxed on the bed and listened to the sounds around him. He found that there were no sounds from the bathroom, and just the small night light was giving off light. Tommy liked that light because it gave him enough light to see by to do what he needed in the night and not have to turn on the big light, which sometimes woke him up too much, and he had issues going back to sleep after peeing.

Despite staying over many times, Evan had been having a few issues sleeping the last few nights. Tommy wasn’t sure what it was, but he wanted to make sure that Evan was happy. He had been giving Evan space to figure things out himself, but maybe he needed to do something else. Tommy grabbed the hoodie from the chair beside the nightstand as he got up out of bed. He tossed it on and headed for the living room, where he knew he was going to find Evan.

Evan was in the chair he loved, his feet tucked up and his chin resting on his knees. He looked pretty lost in thought. Tommy slipped into the kitchen to find the tea that Evan was drinking and poured some into a cup for himself. He sipped it and made a face; it needed a touch of sugar because it was too bitter for him. He added that sugar since the tea was still warm and gave it a stir before he headed about into the living room. Evan looked up at him as he sat down on the couch nearest to where Evan was.

“Nightmare?” Tommy asked.

“Yeah,” Evan said.

“Why don’t you come over here and tell me about it?”

Evan looked like he was debating it, and he inhaled and exhaled like it was the worst thing in the world, but he did it. He set his tea down in Tommy’s reach before getting up. Tommy set his cup down beside Evan’s, and he waited to see how Evan wanted to settle down. Tommy knew what would happen when the blanket was grabbed, so he moved the tea mugs to the coffee table. He laid down and waited for Evan to crawl on top of him.

The fact that Evan fit so well on top of him like this and that they could stay like this for a long time if they wanted made Tommy love Evan all the more. It was one thing that he missed from the few girlfriends he had tried to date over the years. He missed the cuddling. Some of his boyfriends just didn’t like it, and others just never fit with him like this.

“What kind of nightmare?”

“The kind that makes no sense in the light of day but makes me afraid when I’m in the dark.”

“Okay, that doesn’t help me, Evan.” Tommy got his hand under Evan’s shirt and rubbed his hand up and down his back a little bit, trying to coax him into talking more or sleeping. Tommy would be okay with Evan sleeping. Tommy’s back would hate him if he slept on the couch, even though he had a good couch. Evan was worth it.

“No, I know. I’m trying to figure out the best way to explain it. I’m just not sure what I can say that is going to make sense.”

“Just tell it then.”

“It starts with me working a fire.”

The way that Evan said a fire told Tommy that it was a very specific fire that had a little meaning but not nearly as much as what Evan would say it had.

“And I was able to get the guy out of there without the team having to come back for me. It was stupid, staying for the guy, but I couldn’t have him die. Not after I found out about Daniel. I came out a hero but not like a big hero, just someone who had done something good. Then it changes to another fire where I’m stuck, and this time, it was my own fault. I was evac’ing as Bobby told me, but the roof collapsed, and my known path out was blocked too much for me to get through safely. I radioed where I was going, but there was nothing over the radio. I could hear them, but it seemed like they couldn’t hear me. I turned to leave another way that I hadn’t cleared because there was supposed to be no one there. I walked through it all and found myself even more trapped than before with the roof collapse that happened on that side, and I was trapped. Then, a ladder came down to me. A helo had been launched to get me out of there, and I grabbed it and started to climb as the helo went up to get me out of there even faster.”

“Sounds normal,” Tommy said when Evan paused long enough to take a few breaths.

“Then, just as I was clearing the roof, the help started to have issues. I don’t know what, but I could hear the motor, and there was just so much noise. I had to jump off the ladder or risk going down. I land on the roof and run to where I can’t see flames licking through. Trying to find someplace safe. They have to get a ladder over to me as the place is too high, and it’s going to take too long to get the jump bag up. When I finally get on solid ground, the helo has crashed, and everyone is looking at me like I caused it. That my ego caused me to be trapped in that fire and that I was the reason that four firefighters were dead from the helo crash.”

Tommy kissed the top of Evan’s head. He wasn’t sure what was bringing the whole thing on, but he had a feeling that it was just something else. That it was manifesting as that kind of dream because of Evan’s doubts and fears.

“No one believed you?”

“Bobby did because he knew the direction I was going until the roof collapsed. Then he heard the static not just from me but other firefighters who were trying to evac out of there. So, he knew that I was trying to find a way out after my other didn’t pan out. He couldn’t get anyone to listen to him because he was too close to me. When Athena is headed to me with cuffs, I wake up. I wish I could wake up before that.”

“And you’ve been having this each night?”

“Something close to it. Does it make sense?”

“It does. So what is going on in your head during the day that is manifesting as worry over your job?”

Evan shrugged, so Tommy poked him in the side.

“I’m being honest. I don’t know. Bobby’s been praising me for what I’m doing and how focused I am. Being happy in my personal life has finally allowed me to find that balance that Bobby’s been trying to find with me for a long time. He wants to give you a medal.”

“Then it’s that. You are feeling like you don’t deserve it. You are a great firefighter, Evan. Everyone at your station knows it, and they don’t think that you are some attention hog when it comes to that. You don’t even post about your stuff like that idiot from the 133.”

Evan laughed but his body was still tense, not relaxed like he should be when he was like this on top of Tommy.

“What do you need to sleep?”

“I have no clue. I usually just drink some tea, then I go to bed when I think I can sleep again.”

“Then let’s finish off the tea and then head to bed. Maybe an orgasm will help.” Tommy trailed his hand down Evan’s back, slipping under his sweatpants to find he hadn’t worn underwear to bed. He cupped his lover’s ass and let his fingers trail down his crack a little teasing him. “Maybe I can make your body sing?”

Evan started to harden against Tommy’s hip.

“Yeah, I can make you sing. Do you think I can make you beg?”

Evan nodded his head. He groaned and tried to settle down into what was happening. Tommy started to rock him a little.

“Fuck the tea,” Evan said.

“Okay, fine, we can forget about the tea, but I’m not having sex on the couch tonight. You are going to pass out on top of me if we stay like this and you orgasm.”

Evan chuckled, and he nipped at Tommy’s neck, but he moved. He stood up, getting his shirt in his hand, and then he stripped it off. He tossed it onto Tommy’s head before he took off for the bedroom.

Tommy waited for the sound of Evan hitting the bedroom before he got off the couch, carrying the shirt with him. He stripped himself in the hallway but kept Evan’s shirt in his hand. Evan was naked on the bed when Tommy kicked his clothes into the room and off to the side where no one would trip over them. He fisted his hard cock, the shirt still in his hand. Leaving his scent all over it.

“I could just jerk off to the sight of you and the feel of your shirt on my cock.”

The shadows in the room from the hall light made Evan look hot. He was always hot, but this was a different kind of hot that Tommy loved. He tossed the shirt to the side when Evan pouted at him. He groaned when he climbed onto the bed, and Evan spread his legs. There were so many choices for them. He debated how dirty they wanted to get because he was tired.

Tommy moved up to kiss Evan, wanting their mouths together. There was barely any light from the hallway and the bathroom in the bedroom, which was good. It made it feel more sexy, the shadows that danced along, moving by memory and not by sight. Evan hitched his legs up, wrapped them around Tommy’s hips, and held him in place as he kissed, their bodies rocking together as they sought that peak that they wanted. Tommy pressed Evan down into the bed a little harder, and he caught Evan’s hands when he tried to shove him back. He pressed them down into the bed and kept on kissing him. It was heady, the way that Evan’s body just opened up for him. He wanted to have it forever, and he hoped that moving in together would prove that they were good together.

Evan pushed up into him and Tommy got with the program. He let go of Evan’s hands to where he could sit up to get the lube to slick up their cocks.

“No,” Evan said.

“What?” Tommy asked.

“Want you inside of me,” Evan said. He dropped his legs from Tommy’s hips and fisted his cock a few times. “I wanna feel you split me open, just lube on your cock and then the feeling of you inside of me.”

Tommy moved his hand to slick up his cock, and he debated how he wanted to fuck him. Evan had picked the way, and so Tommy was going to pick the position. He wiped his hand on the shirt that he grabbed from the side of the bed. He had it tucked in there for something like this, or if he was asleep without a shirt and ended up wanting a shirt. “Okay, then I want you to get on your front.”

Evan waited for Tommy to get off the bed before he rolled over to his front, watching as Tommy moved to grab the one pillow that they used when they wanted their asses on display. It was harder, and it would allow for Tommy to really go at Evan’s ass. This was what Evan needed, so Tommy would give it to him, and then in the morning, Tommy would talk Evan into making love to him, fingering Tommy open and making him beg for Evan’s cock.

“You wanna be stretched around my cock?” Tommy asked before he rubbed the head of his cock on Evan’s cheeks. He held him open, using the angle of his hips and cock to get the head right at Evan’s hole. “You want to feel the first thing going inside of you being my cock?’

“Yes,” Evan said. He groaned, and then he turned his head to bury it in the pillow. “Yes, Daddy.” Evan’s voice was muffled, but Tommy understood what Evan needed then, and the lovemaking in the morning was going to happen.

“That’s it, Evan. Take me.” Tommy started to push inside, letting go of one cheek and then the other to feel the cheeks on his cock just as much as the hole that was gripping him tightly and giving up what little resistance there was. Tommy braced his hands on the bed on either side of Evan’s head, and he lowered himself, sinking into Evan’s heat as he did. It was tighter than normal, but there was more than enough lube on his cock to make sure that he didn’t hurt them.

“Daddy, more,” Evan begged.

Tommy didn’t stop moving until he was pressed all the way inside, his cock filling up Evan the way that he wanted it to. He didn’t pull out because he didn’t want to have Evan feeling anything less than fully full, so he started to rock, his cock just moving back and forth the way that Evan loved. Then they were like this. It felt good to feel the way that Evan’s body clung to him and didn’t let him out even as he filled him up.

“Daddy loves you,” Tommy whispered into Evan’s ear when he lowered himself to press Evan down into the bed. “Daddy loves the way your body just lets him in as much as he wants. The way you let me love you.”

“Love you, Tommy,” Evan said before he reached out for Tommy’s hands. Tommy threaded their fingers together, and then he braced them on the bed, getting a faster rhythm to his rocking. He kept the force the same but moved faster, getting them off as fast as he could. It was more than enough to make him want to come inside of Evan, but he wanted Evan to come first.

“Give it up for me,” Tommy said.

Evan shook his head, but his body was flush; he was sweating, and it wasn’t going to be long. This was the part of sex that Tommy loved best with Evan, the point where they both tried to keep it from tipping over when they wanted to keep it going but couldn’t stop it. That moment when they gave in to what they wanted. When they ached for it but wanted to keep on going.

Once Evan clenched around him in his orgasm, Tommy wasn’t able to stop his own. He pressed inside of Evan as far as he could get and then just stayed there, rocking even more lightly than he had been before until he was soft. He got his arm around Evan and tipped them off the pillow before shoving it out of the way. He stayed pressed to Evan, loving the feel of him. He just loved him. They stayed like that for longer than they normally did, both of them enjoying the feel of being in each other’s arms.

“Did you like the idea for the bookshelves?” Evan asked a few minutes later.

“Hmm, you know I did.”

“You seemed to be, but your face was pretty shuttered.”

“Sorry, baby, I was thinking of what we would need to do to prep the shelves and everything, that’s all. I got into the woodworking part of it. I’ve already got the wood ordered and the stain that I think would look great on it. I went with a harder wood, hence the ordering.”

Tommy trailed his hand up and down Evan’s belly a little, and then he splayed his hand over his heart.

“I’m sleepy,” Evan said.

“Then let’s go back to sleep. We can clean up in the morning.”

Evan hummed, and Tommy didn’t move as Evan started to sleep. He wondered if Evan had been worried about the bookshelves or if there was something else there that he was worried about.

Only time would tell, and Tommy would make sure that Evan was more settled as they joined their lives.

—

Buck picked up the beer and looked around the restaurant. He wasn’t sure when Maddie would get there, but he hoped she would be there soon. He was already getting looks that were giving him pity. He had gotten her text that she had been held up at leaving work. Just like Buck, if something were needed, she would stay and do it. Buck wondered more than once if that was part of what their parents had put into both of them.

“Would you like to order something?” the waitress asked as she stepped up to the table.

“Not until my sister gets here. I never know what she’s going to want for an appetizer,” Buck said.

“Of course, I’ll check back when she gets here for her drink.”

As if summoned, Maddie came in the door. She looked around and spotted Buck as he waved at her. She walked around the table to hug him before she sat down, her hand going to her belly. It wasn’t noticeable that she was pregnant as the baby was still so small, but Maddie did things like that. She was going to give away that she was pregnant before they could tell anyone if she kept doing things like that.

“How are you feeling?”

“Morning sickness isn’t kicking my ass as much this time, but I’m pretty happy with how things are going. I still have strong reactions to smells, so I have to keep an eye on that. No red sauces,” Maddie said.

“You got it, and there are no stinky cheeses that are not normally stinky,” Buck said.

Maddie laughed before she looked at the menu as their waiter came over.

“My name is Aiden; I’ll be happy to take your drink order and any appetizer you want.”

“Thank you. Ginger ale for me, please, and Buck, they have that one thing I love here, right?”

“Yes, they do. The small bites platter with the pretzels subbed in for the spaghetti balls, please.”

“You got it. That will take a few minutes. Wave me down if you have any questions.”

“Will do,” Maddie said before she picked up the menu. She grinned when Buck stuck his tongue out at her.

Despite everything, there was so much happiness in Maddie, which was good. They couldn’t get bogged down in the issues that happened before.

“I wanted you to come over. I have a few things I wanted to discuss, but we need you and Howie there for it. I thought it could be a family meal. Tommy could come over as well.”

“Discuss?”

“The doctor wants me to go onto a different meal plan, and you are the cook for the family. Tommy might even have a few ideas. I want to see about setting about a meal plan for a month. It’s to help with a few of the issues I had before that I’ll probably have again this time, but also the limited palate I have because of hating a lot of foods.”

“Sure. I can grab the books I bought before, and we can work on a month or so and then see how you do with the meal. The nausea is really getting you, isn’t it?”

“It would be fine. It’ll allow me to eat the stuff I like the most, but it makes me sick.”

“It sucks that you are having those issues again. I remember how bad lockdown was with you like that before. It made it horrible since we couldn’t do as much for you.”

“I know, and I’m glad you are stepping up, but Buck, you don’t have to for a lot of what you are doing,” Maddie said.

“Hey, it’s not like that. I want to do it. I’m not trying to make up for lost time or things like that. I just want to make sure that you are happy and content because that’s all I’ve ever wanted to do for you.”

Maddie smiled as Aiden set down her drink on the table before he slipped away again. It was nice to see that Aiden knew when they wanted to talk and when they didn’t.

“What looks good?”

“The steak tips and potatoes are what I am going to get.”

Maddie took the daily specials placard and looked it over. She made a face at Buck’s choice, but it was understandable given that she was bouncing between liking and hating things, sometimes in an hour span.

“That looks like it might be okay,” Maddie said as she pointed to the pasta dish that just had butter and some herbs, as well as chicken and some veggies. It was on the lighter fare menu but was pretty bland as far as a meal went there. It had spices, but he wasn’t sure which ones.

“I wonder if Aiden will carry one out so we can make sure the smell isn’t going to get to you.”

“Oh, good idea, I wonder if we can ask for him to have someone do that.” Maddie looked around, but she wasn’t exactly looking for Aiden since he was standing at the kiosk putting in an order it looked like.

“Or you can go to the bathroom and take a whiff of that table,” Buck said before he pointed over to where a table had the dish.

“I’ll do that. need to pee anyway.” Maddie stood up with a grin before she headed that way. She stopped to check her phone when she was close to the table and then moved very slowly over that way.

Buck smiled to himself before he picked up his beer and took another sip. Since getting together with Tommy, he had gotten a taste for craft beers and kind of hated Tommy for making him like things he had never cared about before.

Maddie came back a few minutes later, and she shook her head at Buck’s questioning look. “That smelled horrible. I think I might do what you are getting, just without the garlic.”

“That would be pretty good. Will the garlic in mine upset you?”

“No, the smell doesn’t get me. It’s the taste of it right now.”

“I see. We will have a lot of fun with making a set of recipes for you, won’t we?”

“We can have a night of it. Or more than one night, as we might need to modify things, but I think that we can get through things well enough in one night.”

“You think so? I thought that we could have a cooking night of it. You pick one dish you want to sell me on that you know of that I have never tried before.”

“Hmm, I know just what to make you. It’s something that Tommy makes that I love. It’s versatile, and you can play with the protein and the veggies that go into it.”

“Good. I like that. You bring what you need, and we will have the kitchen. Jee or no Jee?”

“Ah, Jee can be there. She can help with a lot of things.” Buck smiled as Aiden came back over with their appetizer platter with the added pretzel bites instead of the balls of deep-fried spaghetti noodles with sauce. Which was Buck’s favorite, but if red sauces were a no-go, along with butter-heavy and cheese sauces, it was going to be interesting. He would be spending a lot of his free time with finding some recipes that he could mess with.

There was a lot of fun he could have with it, and he made him think of the step after the next step because next was marriage and then kids. The kids part was what Buck was looking forward to, not just being married but having kids. That was a talk they had before, and Tommy had been open to it. The issue was babies, toddlers, kids, or teens. Adoption was the main path for them. They could do surrogacy once, maybe twice, depending on what they wanted.

“So, how is living with Tommy going?”

“Hmm, really good. We are settling in, the small things are staying small things for right now. I think. We are talking about things instead of letting them fester, which you know is something that I’m used to doing because of trying to please the people instead of making something that would throw a pebble in the path.”

“Yes, you are getting better at being in a relationship. I’m happy for you.”

“I am happy for me too.”

“I’m glad that you have something that is close to what I have as well,” Maddie said.

Buck smiled at her because she was right that he did have something that felt right. “He loves me for who I am and accepts me for who I am. We just have to learn how to live together, and that means that I have to say things that upset me. I learned the hard way with Taylor that I need to speak up.”

Maddie smiled and picked her ginger ale to hold it out to him. Buck picked up his beer and held it out, letting Maddie clink her glass off his glass before they took a drink.

“To our happiness,” Maddie said when they were done.

“Yeah, to our happiness.”

Chapter Eight

Tommy was alone in the kitchen when he heard the crash. He looked at the doorway, waiting for the yell from Evan that he was okay, but he didn’t hear it at first.

“Evan?” Tommy called out.

“Sorry, I’m fine,” Evan called out.

Tommy wasn’t sure about that so he headed out into the living room to find Evan had fallen over and had the entire basket of clothes on the floor. At least, it was the dirty clothes, but still. There were a few things on the ground that had been taken off the stand beside where Evan had fallen.

“What are you thinking about?” Tommy asked.

“That this is home. It’s not just a place where I’m sleeping. It’s not just a place I call home but feels like home.”

Tommy reached out his hand, and Evan clasped his into it and let Tommy pull him up. Tommy pulled Evan right into his arms. “I’m glad of that, but why did that just hit you?”

“I was thinking about it. I’ve never felt at home anywhere. I was just waiting to get out of the house I grew up in from around the age of ten. I wanted away from there after Maddie left, and I’m shocked it took me as long as it did. I wasn’t able to just leave when I was in college, and then I failed out of the first one and got kicked out of the second, both for the same reason. Really, I wasn’t focused on school, and I let other things take precedence. I just never had a place where I could be me and be happy to live there. I could be me at the loft, yes, but I wasn’t really happy to live there. Ali really liked it, and I liked that she did, and I liked it well enough. I just didn’t really like living there after the bombing, but by the time that I was in a place to move, I was settled there.”

“You are happy here?” Tommy asked.

Evan nodded his head.

Tommy smiled and tugged on Evan until they were standing in the main open area of the living room. “I’m glad of that. So, how do you feel about having a small party here? A housewarming of sorts to welcome you home?”

“Isn’t that something one does when they buy a new place or are moving into a place they don’t have stuff for?”

“Well, yes but we can do the same with you. We don’t need anything, so people can just bring food. We can assign them a dish and just have everyone here celebrating you and me.”

Tommy started to move them, pulling Evan in a little closer as he danced to a song that was only in his head. Evan gave him a soft look.

“I guess that we could do something like that. It could be fun. We could assuage their fears of us living together.”

Tommy nodded his head, and he debated what to do next. He had just been cleaning up in the kitchen while the casserole they had made together had been in the oven. He paused in their dancing before he headed over to the record player, and found an album that he loved, and while the music wasn’t the typical dance-to-me music, they could make it work. He laid the needle down on the track he wanted to start out with.

“What’s this?” Evan asked.

Tommy snorted and waved for Evan to join him closer to where the record player was. Evan slid into his arm and let him lead because that was the kind of dancing that Evan was kind of crappy at. He was good at the side-to-side shuffle, and that was about it. Tommy had a few times where he had been trained in it, and there had been things he picked up over the years as well.

“Where was the first place you learned to dance?”

“I actually got trained by a woman the first time. It was an Army function where I was to look pretty because I had been part of a big operation and had been the reason it had gone off well. My commander made all of us show up there to get funding for something. I was a hit with the older ladies. One of them took pity on the fact that I was shit at dancing and taught me some. After that, whenever my commander threw parties, she taught me more and never tried to get in my pants either.”

“I bet that was a fear then.”

“I wasn’t anywhere near close to coming out. I made myself do the same things the guys did, just with a lot more consent than they got from their partner, and never when we were both drunk. I was always afraid that too much alcohol would make me not be able to get it up when thinking about the woman I was with. It was hard, but I learned how to hide to make sure that I didn’t get killed.”

“Which was a real threat.” Evan stepped on Tommy’s toes, and then he winced before putting space between them.

Tommy just stepped in again to where they were touching the same as they had been. “I’ll take stepped on toes since we are just in socked feet, Evan. It’s okay. It’s part of the learning process.”

Evan nodded, his gaze locked with Tommy’s as he tried to relax his body. Tommy could feel each muscle group as he forced them into submission when it came to what they were doing. It was a good feeling to have Evan in his arms. He loved the way he felt. He was happy to have Evan in his arms like this.

“So, when dinner is made, you can bring the clipboard in, and we can figure out who we want to invite and what they are going to make.’

“Lucy makes this cobbler that is to die for, and I think I can talk her into bringing it.”

“Hmm, no talking of it now,” Tommy said.

Evan nodded before he laid his head down on Tommy’s shoulder as they danced to the songs that were playing. Tommy knew that Evan’s music education was going to go at a slower pace than his movie and TV education. It wasn’t like Evan was an idiot, but having parents who didn’t indulge in anything like that made his deficit pretty low when it came to thinking like that. Then years were spent crisscrossing the country where he sometimes went hours without music on the radio and had just whatever he bought that he could play in the Jeep.

Maybe that was something that they could talk about sometime. Evan talked about it, but Tommy figured that he didn’t talk about the harder parts of it too much.

The silence between them filled the room, but unlike a lot of the time, it was a natural silence, born of just existing and loving who they were.

This was the thing that Tommy wanted when it came to living with someone, and he had found it so quickly. It still scared him, but he wasn’t that afraid of losing it. Evan would fight for him just like he would fight for Evan.

—

Buck knew that something was going on with Eddie, but he hadn’t been able to nail down his friend for the entire party. He had stuck with Tommy where he had been manning the grill, and steaks, chicken, and even a few tuna steaks were being cooked for everyone. He looked around for where Maddie and Chim were because he could always shove Tommy that way because Jee wasn’t usually too far from them at this time of day.

It was nearly time for her afternoon nap, and maybe Buck could pull her and do that and then ambush Eddie. He really wanted to talk to his friend and see what was going on with him. He didn’t want to be one of the ones who pushed his friends aside when he got someone romantic in his life. Things had been good and balanced, but lately, Eddie had been ducking him a little more than normal.

Jee was off to the side, close to where Chim was. She looked like she was nearly asleep, just standing where she was.

Buck walked over and held out his hands. She opened her arms, and he scooped her up. He made eye contact with Chim before he headed over inside to lay her down.

When he came out of the room where Jee usually napped, he found Eddie standing off to the side, looking a little guilty about something.

“Hey, Eds,” Buck said.

“Can we talk?”

“Sure, we can talk. You wanna head back to the bedroom? Make sure that no one can overhear us?”

Eddie shrugged.

Buck got worried about things because Eddie was never like this. He followed Buck into the bedroom, though, and shut the door. Buck checked his phone to make sure that Tommy didn’t need him.

“I bought a place in El Paso. I’m going to move down there. I need to work on things with Chris. I know that allowing myself to be happy is something I’ll have to keep working on, but being apart from Chris is hurting me. Phone calls aren’t helping me, and he barely says anything at all.”

“Okay, I get that.” Buck walked up to him and hugged him. Eddie just sunk into him and held on as he slapped him in just as tight as a hug.

“I know you have Tommy, but if you need me, I’m a call away. I’m leaving LA. I’m not leaving you. I can’t be away from Chris any longer. We came up here to get away from the pressure of my parents, but now he’s seeking that because of what I did.”

“What about therapy?”

“My guy I’m talking to over text is going to keep on doing that and he’s offered up a few names down in El Paso that would be good for Chris and I to go to together. I’m finally willing to do the work. Chris leaving and the aftermath is what finally broke me. I can’t keep on pushing things down. I wish I had listened to you in the wake of the destruction of my bedroom thing.”

Eddie walked over to the window that was on the far side of the room and didn’t look out into where the party was.

“I hurt him, and I know it. He needed to be away from me, and I understood it. He’s getting where he can fully state what he wants, and the court would side with him. I’m not going to take his agency away, but I cannot be away from him like that.”

“I understand. What do you need?”

“Tommy rents a unit for his car, and he’s always told me I can put things in there if I need. I am not going to take much with me as the place I got came furnished. It was a little more, but it was better than trying to move all of this stuff down there. It’s smaller as well. I thought that when Chris goes to college, I wouldn’t need a bigger place, and if he stayed local, it would still do good. It’s in great condition, and with the way it’s laid out would sell quickly. I just lucked into a good place quickly, and the seller was willing to drop the price once he realized why I was moving down there. He’s moving across the country to be with his kid, who is having her first kid.”

“That’s good. You got a good deal there, then?”

“Yeah, the realtor was really happy with my getting it. I don’t want to be unhappy, and I’m unhappy here, so that means that I need to leave.”

Buck sat down on the bed and looked at Eddie. Eddie was still staring out the window.

“Did you want me to try to talk you out of it?” Buck asked.

“No. Dios, no, Buck.” Eddie turned around and walked over to stand close to Buck. He sighed before stepping between his legs. He laid his hands on Buck’s shoulders. “I didn’t tell you because I wasn’t ready to. I didn’t tell you because I was afraid you were going to talk me out of a fit. Just like when Chris was leaving, I knew you would support me if you thought it was the best.”

“You belong with Chris. Your life will be better, and when Chris settles somewhere, you’ll go there as well. I know that. If I thought you were truly making a mistake, I would say something.”

Tommy cleared his throat. Buck turned his head to look at him. If this were anyone else, with anyone else, Buck would feel like he needed to put some distance between them.

“We are getting ready to eat, and the guest of honor is missing,” Tommy said.

Eddie laughed, and it was a watery laugh, even to Buck’s ears.

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m moving back home to El Paso.”

Tommy nodded and stepped into the room, shutting the door behind him.

The hinge was well cared for and didn’t make a single noise. Instead, it made nothing, which was why Tommy could sneak up on them.

“I thought that something like that might be happening since you two were talking. I wanted to make sure that I didn’t need to delay things.”

Buck nodded, and he pulled Eddie into a weird hug where Buck had his head buried in Eddie’s chest. Eddie cupped the back of his head.

“We can talk after. You gonna stay the night?”

“Depends if anyone else does.”

“The only potential is Jee-Yun. We can talk with her here, and she’ll sleep anywhere that we put her.”

“Your couch is more than enough for me.”

“Eddie,” Buck said.

“That’s not about penance or anything. Jee’s room should be hers when she’s here. I can easily sleep on the couch because it’s what I should do. Not because I think I deserve to sleep on the couch.”

Buck huffed, but he shoved Eddie back from him so he could stand up. Eddie shook his head and huffed back at Buck louder and with a more dramatic rolling of his eyes.

They headed back outside, where it seemed like no one had noticed that Eddie had been missing as well. Buck kept a smile on his face and made light of everything, but his mind was stuck on Eddie and how much pain he had to be in. Buck wanted to help more. He just wasn’t sure how he could help him more. That was something that he was going to have to think about. Hopefully, Eddie had some time before he headed down to El Paso, and Buck could figure out what he wanted to do.

—

Tommy shut the door to the bedroom where Jee was going to be crashing for the night because she loved it there and didn’t want to be away from Buck. She and Evan had already planned out the day for their trip to the zoo the next day. Tommy wasn’t sure the zoo was going to survive it or him, to be honest. He was looking forward to it because Evan and Jee were looking forward to it. Tommy loved being around Evan when he was happy about doing things. It reminded Tommy that there was good in the world, happiness, and just joy at the simple things.

Eddie and Evan were sitting on the couch while Eddie talked a little bit about how much he was messed up, but he was working on himself. How he didn’t want to be like this and he knew that he had to keep on working on it.

“I let things fester because I thought that letting him bring it up was best, but that’s how I’ve been like this, so since he wants to be in El Paso with my parents, I’ll go to him. He’s probably not going to like it at first, but the therapy together will be non-negotiable. We are going to do it no matter what.”

“And when are you leaving?” Tommy asked, knowing that Evan wasn’t going to ask that. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to know; it was just that things were up in the air with things that Evan didn’t want to know before it was happening, but Tommy knew that they needed to know.

“As soon as possible. I just need some help getting certain things in storage.”

“Okay, so we will work on that, and then you can get out of here. We have plans tomorrow, but I can slip away for a little while before the zoo trip. So first thing tomorrow, I’ll get you the key to my unit, and then we can work on getting things in until I have to join these two at the zoo.”

Eddie nodded.

Evan pulled Eddie into him, a hug from the side that seemed to be doing a lot more for Evan than it did Eddie, but that Eddie endured.

Tommy hoped that Evan did okay with this, but he was going to understand him being upset.

“I’ll go and work on the stuff you said you wanted to take with you tomorrow so that you don’t have to do that while also prepping breakfast. I’ll get up with the sun.”

Evan snorted, and he looked at Tommy, tears unshed in his eyes.

“Thanks. You could skip the zoo.”

“Nah,” Eddie said. He picked up the pillow he was going to use and dropped it on the head of the couch before he looked at Evan until Evan got off the couch. “It’ll not take long at all to get the things out of my place. Then, I can load up the last few things into the U-Haul I rented. I have been sleeping on the mattress on the floor. I broke everything down. It looks worse than when Chris and I first moved into the place.”

“Well, that’s because you set up Chris’ room first thing, so anything would be better than how you have it now.”

Eddie shoved at Evan, but Evan just stayed where he was and acted like it did nothing. “I need sleep. I’m going to crash out. Night.”

“Night,” Evan said.

Tommy echoed it and tucked Evan into his body as they headed for the bedroom.

Evan was silent as he got ready for bed. It was not a horrible silence; it was just one of thinking and being in his head. Tommy stopped him as he went to get into bed and made Evan look at him.

“He’ll be happier.”

“I know, and we will be fine. He’ll keep in contact, and things will be fine. We will work on it, and things will be fine. We will stay friends, and when he’s settled and things are starting to get better with Chris, I’ll head down there for a visit; you can come or stay up here. I don’t care either direction on that one.”

Tommy looked at him.

“Okay, fine, I would care. I would want you to come, but I know that you might not for the whole time.”

Tommy cupped Evan’s cheeks and made his lover look at him. He waited for Evan to relax a little bit. “I would go with you because it would make you happy, and I didn’t hate Texas. I’ve never been to El Paso. Texas in the summer kind of sucked, but I survived it when I was in the Army. I was fine. I would not let that make me hate an entire state.”

Evan snorted, and he finally looked like he wasn’t freaking out about things.

“The party went well,” Tommy said.

“It did. Everyone was more settled, I think, now that they got to see us together like that. Maddie wasn’t worried about things too much before it, but having her settled and happy about it helped the others.”

“They were just worried about you and the aftermath of the last time you and a girlfriend moved in together.”

“Chris will never let me live down that I just refused to get a new couch. I had some issues that I had to work through, and I was putting them on the couch and not my own head. I got through them, though. I wouldn’t change anything about what I’ve done in my life, though.”

“No?” Tommy asked; he kissed Evan’s cheeks before kissing his lips. It was a move that Evan loved when Tommy did it.

“No, because any change could mean I never meet you.”

“You’ve thought about it.”

“Hmm, the last time we had a small fight, I thought about it instead of sleeping, which is why I looked like death warmed over when you came over to apologize for just walking out. I hadn’t slept at all.”

“I knew you hadn’t, but you never told me what you were up all night about, so I just assumed it was the fight.”

“It started out that way, but then it just devolved into me thinking about how things could have changed in my life that made me less like I am, like my mental issues. I also realized that the whole sex thing that I had when I was just joining the 118 was more about getting Bobby’s attention in a way that wouldn’t get me sidelined, only to have it backfire and have him try to fire me.”

Tommy wasn’t sure what to say. He let go of Evan to get into bed because he was tired emotionally and physically. Evan got into bed with him and curled into his side, as Tommy wanted to sleep on his back.

“What do you mean in a way that wouldn’t get you sidelined?”

“Growing up, I learned that getting hurt would get my parent’s attention. It was about the only time I had their attention so I started to do it a lot. The longest was when I had broken bones. It faded, and I was left to take care of myself, but it kept up for a long time. I couldn’t do that while being a firefighter. I mean, having an injury would mean I wouldn’t be working, and that would mean no Bobby’s attention. I had some of it in other ways at first, which is how I came to crave it. So I started to do shit that I thought I could get away with on the shift. It didn’t work out the way that I wanted. I’m just glad that I was able to help Athena with something that would get me back in Bobby’s graces. Then he started to teach me how to cook a little bit each shift, and that replaced that need.”

Tommy kissed what he could reach of Evan and thought about the issues that Evan had from his childhood. They had talked about a few things before but never this in-depth.

“I never wanted my father’s attention, even as a toddler, my mother told me once. It came with never being good enough. I could win a game alone for the whole team and he would tell me about the time that I was not fast enough for one single thing in the game. There was a lot wrong there. So I can’t understand wanting my father’s attention and having to hurt myself to get it. How did you figure it out?”

“Which part? The whole way to get their attention?”

Tommy nodded.

“Maddie was teaching me how to ride a bike. I didn’t know that the bike was Daniel’s at the time. I was hurt and kind of glossed over the way that my mother lost her shit about the bike. They had supposedly gotten rid of everything that was related to him, but my father kept the bike. I was given a new bike later, but I was fussed over with the wound and everything, and I had their attention. So I learned how to keep on doing it.”

Tommy could see it. He could see the way that Evan craved affection meaning he would do anything to get it. He could also see the way Evan had moved on from that. He knew that things were good for them, but he would make sure that even when he was deep in his own shit, he did small things to show Evan that he cared. Evan did little things like that all the time. Even when he had been sick weeks ago, he had made sure that Tommy had lunch since Evan usually made up something for Tommy to take to work for him and Miriam.

“I love you,” Tommy said.

“I love you, too,” Evan said before he yawned. He curled just a little more into Tommy before he settled down. He was falling asleep pretty fast, and that was a good thing.

Tommy hoped that he was able to sleep well and get rest because Jee was going to run them ragged the next day. He wouldn’t have it any other way, though.

Chapter Nine

Tommy picked up the shirt that Evan had dropped before getting ready to head out with the rest of the 118 for their time out to wish Eddie goodbye. Tommy had been invited but didn’t want to invade that space.

He and Evan would have something a little more personal that would be good for them and allow Evan to feel what he wanted to feel about Eddie going to Texas. There were a lot of emotions inside Evan, and he tried to keep them out of his head, but Tommy knew that he needed to get them out.

Maybe Tommy could push him when they were alone. Get Evan to open up all the way and get all of his emotions out, and maybe let him sob in Tommy’s arms. He thought about the best way to do that and wasn’t sure what it was going to be. Tommy looked at his watch, and then he sighed. He was bored at home. Evan had been keeping the place clean because he did that instead of dealing with his emotions about Eddie.

“You lived here alone for so long, and the first night when Evan’s out, you are moping at home.”

He looked at his phone and debated texting Maddie about going over to hang at her place until Howie got home, and then Tommy could go there. Or he could have Bobby drop Evan there as well, and then Tommy could take his guy home from there. He liked that idea, so he texted Bobby about it, and then he texted Maddie.

There was a cheesecake that Tommy had found that Maddie loved, and if he showed up with that in hand, there was no way that Maddie would turn him away, even if the cheesecake were still frozen. He headed for the kitchen and got that out, leaving it with his phone and keys before he headed back to his bedroom to get ready.

The trip to Maddie and Howie’s place took a little longer than he would have liked, but the traffic was kind of horrible.

Tommy blamed the serial killer. This was another reason that he figured that Maddie would be happy to have some company. He wasn’t sure what was going on with it as Evan wasn’t sharing things that he couldn’t.

The baby was a worry, with the stress that Maddie was under, so if Tommy being there helped to settle Maddie down, then he would be happy to be there for it. He was going to make sure that Maddie and Howie knew that they could depend on him. Not just to take care of Evan but to be their friend and maybe one day their brother-in-law.

Tommy parked in the spot that was pretty much where he or Evan always parked, and it felt like their spot. He looked at the house, and the low lights that he could see were on. He snagged the bag of stuff, with a few things for Jee in case she woke up, and headed for the door. Tommy knocked, and he sucked in a breath when the door opened.

It was like it wasn’t even latched or locked at all. That was not normal when Maddie was home alone, but especially when it was just her and Jee. Tommy set the bag outside the door and looked around for something to use as a weapon or shield. He could use his bulk to take care of things, but not if he was shot at.

It was too easy to slip back into his mindset of the military. It had been a long time since he had left there, but he had never wanted to drop the way that it gave him an advantage in some situations with the job he had. He snagged an umbrella and hoped it held up for at least one parry with the intruder who had gotten inside. He looked around as he slipped through.

Tommy didn’t make a noise and didn’t move a thing because if prints were needed, he needed to leave things alone. He didn’t even want to call out for Maddie in case the intruder was still there and could hurt one of them before he got there.

The kitchen light was still on, and it looked like Maddie had been doing the dishes. He headed for the back where the rooms were, making sure the living room was clear before he did. He went right to Jee’s room and found her awake in the bed, looking around like she was waking herself up.

“Tommy!” Jee screeched.

“Shush, Jee-Bug,” Tommy said. He set down the umbrella and moved to pick her up. He cradled her close, and he thought about what could have happened to have Maddie leave Jee like this. He still had a few rooms to check out.

Clearing each of the other rooms, including the closest in the main bedroom, took little time.

Tommy pulled his phone out and called Bobby, who was the sober one for this. He had no idea how drunk all of them were at this point.

It rang and then went to voicemail. Tommy tried again a minute later while he still held Jee in his arms.

“Tommy, where Mama?”

“I’m not sure, Jee. I’m here, though.” Tommy wondered if Jee had actually been awake for a while and had looked for Maddie already.

The serial killer was dead. He had been found and killed himself. Maddie had been on the phone with him with all of it. It was over, but the timing of Maddie not being home when she should have been made Tommy worry that maybe they hadn’t actually caught the killer but maybe the beta in a twisted serial killing relationship.

Or Tommy had been watching too many serial killer documentaries with Evan.

Tommy tried Evan, then Hen, then Howie, and finally Eddie before he called Bobby one last time. None of them were answering.

Now Tommy was worried as hell. He looked at his phone and debated it. Athena had given him her number a while back for a situation that she hoped never happened.

So Tommy called her.

“Athena Grant speaking,” Athena said.

“Athena, it’s Tommy. I…” Tommy exhaled sharply. “I’m at Maddie and Howie’s place. I’ve cleared the place, and other than touching an umbrella and knocking on the door, I’ve not touched anything.”

“Tommy?” Athena asked.

“I was bored at home and thought Maddie might like some company. When I got here, I knocked, and the door opened under that force. I then cleared the house, and Maddie was not there, and Jee was home alone. I’m worried about her but also a little worried about the others. I tried to call all of them, and no one answered. They are ringing and then going to voicemail, so they are not off.”

“I’ll send someone to contact them at the bar where they are. I’m headed to you along with Detective Romero. Take Jee out to your truck, and then I want you to lock yourself inside of it.”

“Okay. I can do that.”

Tommy heard noises on the other end. He headed for the living room and went out, leaving the bag of stuff by the door until he thought that maybe feeding Jee would distract her, so he went back for it. It wasn’t like it was evidence. It never even made it inside of the house.

“Stay on the line until we get someone there. There is a uniform closer.”

“Okay, I’m going to swap to speaker just to make getting Jee into the truck easier. We are going to be in the backseat of it.”

Tommy put the phone on speaker and dropped it into his shirt pocket before fumbling his keys from his pocket and getting the truck unlocked. He settled Jee-Yun on the back seat, and then he climbed in when she went right for her seat and plopped herself into it.

Once he was inside, Tommy shut the truck door and hit the locks before he got his phone out of his pocket again, and then he took it off speaker. He pressed it to his ear.

“Okay, in the truck with it locked, I’m off speaker.”

“The uniform on his way to you is Officer Rivers. He’s in his mid-fifties and is pretty fit. He’s got a resting bitch face that rivals even mine. He’ll make sure that the house is secure when he gets there, so don’t be shocked if he ignores you altogether.”

“Okay.” Tommy frowned and waited.

It felt like forever, but he was pretty sure that it was just a few minutes before the cruiser pulled up without lights or sirens, just in case and in relation to the time of night it was.

It was just a few minutes later that the officer came out of the house, saying something on his radio before looking at them in the truck. Tommy got ready to get out.

“Rivers is here, Athena.”

“Okay, hang up. I’ll be there as soon as I can be.”

Tommy hung up and watched the house for signs of anyone running out, in case the person had been hiding where Tommy didn’t think they could be.

“Jee, I’m going to talk to the policeman. You stay right here. Do not try and get out.” Tommy pulled one of the toys that Jee loved from the small basket that held a few toys for her. He handed it over, and then he pulled the basket up onto the seat next to her.

Once out of the truck, Tommy locked the doors and met Rivers at the front of the truck.

“Tommy Kinard.”

“Athena told me your name, and I remember working a few scenes with you. Usually, you are in the bird. The house is clear like you said. You said you touched an umbrella, I assume that’s the one that was in Jee’s room?”

“Yes. I knew it wasn’t going to be much good but it was the first thing I found. I could at least maybe parry a gun away from me before taking out the intruder.”

Rivers looked at him skeptically.

“I was in the Army. It’s been a minute, but I do Muay Thai.”

“There is a team on their way to the house, and another officer is going to the bar where Athena’s husband and his team are. Will they need more than one car to get them out of there?”

“No, Captain Nash is the sober driver. He can drive them all here. I’ll take Jee home with me. Evan had more than enough stuff to take care of her until Howie can come and stay. I figure the house is going to be a crime scene for a while.”

“Probably. We can make sure that Mister Han can get what he needs out of there for himself.”

“He probably has his work bag in his car unless he was swapping things out.”

Tommy looked back at Jee, who was pretty calm, playing with her toys. He jumped when his phone rang.

It was Evan.

“Evan,” Tommy said when he answered the call.

Rivers looked at him but didn’t say anything.

“What’s going on? We all just realized that we have missed calls from you. You didn’t leave a message.”

“This is not something to say over a message, Evan. Am I on speaker?”

“Yeah, we are outside. What’s going on?”

“Hen, get Howie,” Tommy said.

“Tommy,” Howie said.

“I came over to hang with Maddie ’cause I hated being alone. The door just opened on the house when I knocked. I cleared it and found Jee in bed, but Maddie was not there. I have an officer with me now, and Athena is on her way. There should be a cop getting there to talk to you as well. I was worried.”

“Maddie’s not there? Is there evidence of anything?”

“Not that I can find. I barely touched anything cause I knew that prints would need to be taken. Athena is on her way here, and if you want, I can get Jee out of here before you get here or wait.”

“No, I want to see her, and then you can take her to your place. We are getting in the car now, and Bobby’s about to call Athena to tell her to have the cop just escort us.”

Tommy relaxed now that Howie was on his way with Evan. There was also the good news that Bobby was the one driving because this was going to hit Evan hard.

It was going to be interesting times for the next while.

—

Buck barely waited for Bobby to get the SUV in park before he jumped out and went right for where Tommy was leaning in the truck, getting Jee out of it. Chim was faster and took off toward Tommy, who had Jee in his arms by the time that Chim got there. Jee latched onto her father and held on.

“I don’t think she understands, but I’ve not really said anything. that should come from you. She asked where Maddie was, but I could see her asking that when I came into the room, she was obviously awake.”

Chim nodded, and he settled Jee back down into the back of the truck before he started to talk to her. A cop was right next to them, watching everywhere on the street.

Buck tugged on Tommy’s arm and took him over to where Hen and Bobby were talking to Athena.

“CSU is just now getting here to get prints. We will need exclusion prints for all of you guys. We should have them on file for working LAFD, but if there is a hassle,” Athena said.

“I’ll give mine up now,” Buck said.

“Slow down, Buckaroo. Let’s see what LAFD does for us,” Athena said.

Buck nodded, inhaled, and exhaled, trying to calm himself down. Tommy wrapped his arm around Buck’s shoulder and pulled him close, then Eddie came up beside Buck and did the same from the other side.

There were a lot of emotions inside, and Buck had hoped that by the time they got there, Maddie would be found. That this was all a joke.

The last time, they had known pretty quickly who had taken Maddie, then she had left of her own volition the last time. This time there was nothing.

“Has the LAPD ever had any inkling that the guy had an accomplice and he might have been the submissive in the duo?” Tommy asked.

“What?” Buck asked, looking at him.

“Romero has been thinking that for about ten minutes, according to the texts I got. He’s on his way here but a little further out than I was. We are looking into everything that we can find about this. Romero will want your statement, and then you and Buck can leave.”

Tommy nodded, and Buck thought about how he didn’t want to leave, but he knew that Jee needed to be out of there before she heard or saw something that wouldn’t be good for her. It was best to get her out of there, and Buck understood that he needed to be with her so that Chim could focus on Maddie, but it was Maddie.

Romero arrived a minute later and came right for them.

Tommy was pulled aside and gave his statement about what had happened while Buck had just stayed there with Eddie hugging him. He felt unmoored and needed to just hold onto something, even if that was Eddie, who was also leaving him. Eddie had a timeline for leaving, and he had to be down there to start his new job. He could be gone before Maddie was found and not able actually to do anything about it.

“Ready?” Tommy asked a few minutes later.

Buck turned to look at him. He had Jee in his arms, and Buck looked behind him to see Chim talking to Romero. “I wanna speak to Chim first.” Buck pulled himself from Eddie’s arms and headed for Chim, who looked up at him as he got close. Buck pulled his keys from his pockets.

“Come to ours when you are ready. This is to let yourself in so you don’t have to knock and wake up Jee, just to be safe.”

Chim nodded his head. He looked to be hanging by a thread.

“Unless you want me to stay?”

“No, Detective Romero said he would have an officer drive me if I felt I couldn’t drive and then have someone else take my vehicle over there. You go and be with Jee. I need to know she’s safe, and I trust Tommy, but we both know that Jee will freak out a little if it’s just him. If you are there, she’ll be calm. Just protect her, and I’ll get our girl back.”

Buck nodded, and he reached out to hug Chim close. Chim held onto him tightly and didn’t seem to want to let go. “You can stay with us as long as needed, given the whole crime scene that is your house.”

Chim huffed, but he just patted Buck on the back before letting him go. Buck stepped back and turned toward Tommy. He watched Tommy with Jee for a few moments before heading over to them.

“Ready to go home?” Buck asked.

“As much as we can be. You ready, Jee?”

“Papa?”

“He’ll be home soon.”

“Mama?”

Buck swallowed, and he nearly started to cry. He didn’t know how to answer that but smiled at her.

The drive back to the house was horrible. Buck was nearly in tears, but he had to be strong for Jee-Yun until they had her bed. He wasn’t sure what he was feeling beyond the feeling of being lost. There was so much he could be doing to help, but none of it would actually do anything to help beyond making himself feel better.

Tommy carried Jee inside, and she was tired, so she was nearly asleep from the car ride to their place. Buck followed along, and he read her a story from the stack of books that were on the side of the bed where she normally slept. Tommy stayed in the doorway for the whole story and just smiled at them.

When Buck was done, he closed the door most of the way before Tommy pulled him into his arms. The first sob broke free, and Buck wasn’t sure what he was going to do beyond just break down in Tommy’s arms. Tommy got Buck into the bedroom and shut the door most of the way, so Jee could slip inside if needed. Then he just held onto Buck, holding him tightly and making sure that Buck didn’t fly apart at the seams.

“You get it out,” Tommy said.

Buck did. He wasn’t even sure that he could stop at all. He didn’t know what he wanted to do, but he pretty much just wanted to cry in Tommy’s arms, and that was about it.

Tommy held out a tissue when Buck was done and finally pulled his arms from around his boyfriend. Tommy looked pretty broken up, too. Tommy really liked Maddie and he was hurting as well.

“How many times can she…” Buck swallowed, and he looked away to blow his nose. He felt like shit. He didn’t want sex because that was just not something he could consent to at the moment, but he felt like he was pretty much coming apart at the seams, and he needed something.

“You can’t think like that. You can’t think about that at all. Just think about her coming home to you. Think about how happy she is going to be to be home with her family. Maddie is one of the strongest women I have ever met in my life. She’s going to live for Howie, Jee, and you.”

“And the baby.”

“Well, just that’s a given since the baby is still inside of her.”

Buck snorted. He felt like shit. Hell, he just felt like shit in general. He wasn’t sure what was going to happen, but he wanted to stay right here and not have to deal with anything but feeling Tommy in his arms.

“Why don’t we take a shower? Wash the day off, and you always feel better when you are clean.”

The shower was nothing special; it was just Tommy helping Buck by touching him as much as possible. It wasn’t the most water-saving shower that they could have, but it at least worked for them because Buck felt settled in his skin when he was done with it. Tommy even dried him off. He let Buck dress himself in the sleep clothes, a little more clothing than they normally wore when home but the normal amount for when Jee was there.

“I need to go and check on her,” Buck said when he was done pulling his pants up.

“Of course. Do you want to see about a baby monitor?”

The sound that came out of Buck was something close to a sob and another noise that Buck couldn’t place. He wasn’t sure what kind of noise it was, but it was horrible. Tommy stepped up, wrapped his arms around him again, and held on, but Buck was done with tears. There were no tears left in him. He slipped out of Tommy’s arms after a few minutes to head to check on Jee. She was sleeping the kind of sleep that only the innocent could have at that moment.

Buck was going to make sure that Maddie made it back to Jee.

—

Tommy left Evan asleep in the bed, and he slipped out; he found Howie sitting at the kitchen table with what looked like some of Tommy’s instant coffee in his hands; the coffee was still steaming, and Howie looked worlds away.

“Jee wants waffles,” Tommy said from the door.

Howie turned his head slowly to look at Tommy. His eyes were rimmed in red.

“I had to tell them that Maddie is pregnant. I told everyone. I am not sure if it’s going to matter to the fucker who has her, but I can’t let the cops just not get her treatment. The stress of being kidnapped could even…”

Tommy sat down across from Howie, and he reached out to guide Howie’s hands down to set the mug down.

“Maddie is strong, and that baby inside of her is strong as well. She’s going to come out of this fighting.”

Howie scoffed, but he looked a little better. “Jee likes cinnamon waffles right now. I am not sure that you can make those.”

“Excuse me, I’m good at waffles. I love them, remember?”

“I also remember you fucking them up a lot at the station.”

Tommy rolled his eyes and got up, heading for the coffee pot to make some. The smell would either wake up Evan or it wouldn’t. It didn’t really matter if it did. Evan had slept for shit.

“Did you get any sleep?”

“I crashed on the couch. I didn’t want to head up and sleep anywhere else. I’ll do that tonight. The couch allowed me to watch the news.”

“We can get a TV for the other room. Evan’s been wanting to anyway. I’m sure we can find something that we like.”

“Not for me; you don’t have to.”

“Did you miss the part about Evan wanting to?”

Howie snorted.

“And what Buck wants, he gets, right?”

“This is his place too. I want to make sure that he’s happy here.”

“I’m glad because he’s not had a lot of that for a long time. He needs to be happy. I’m glad he has you for all of this. There is…Eddie leaving is going to make this all worse, and if he was alone, things would not be good.”

“This means I really have your full blessing?” Tommy asked.

“Quit being an asshole. I’m glad that someone is here for him. Things were not good when Maddie left, and no one really cared about him. He and I had a lot of issues around that, and we talked them out once we were both clear enough of it. I went to therapy for the punch I gave him. I never should have done that. I was emotional, but you and I both know that if he had punched me in a fit like that over something close to that, he would probably have ended up in jail if I even put out a whiff of thought that he was the one who had done it.”

Tommy had heard Evan mention the punch just once when he was drunk and talking about a few things. Tommy had thought that Evan was downplaying it.

“Eddie didn’t really have his back during that point. I heard that he tried to leave the 118 and I honestly sometimes think it might have been best for him. He’s slotted into this place of being the little brother there. I want him to be happy; maybe if his personal life is settled, he’ll be more settled. I want him to be as happy as I am in my job and in my life. One of them has to fall in line first.”

“I’m glad that I make him happy, but he needs to step up on his own for the work.”

“He has. He’s good at what he does, but it’s brushed off. I’ll be helping him a lot more when things get settled from this. I’m on leave for a few days until things are either settled and Maddie is home, more leave pending if she’s hurt.”

“You’ll figure things out. I’m more than willing to take a rotation in watching Jee as needed if you and Evan want to move shifts around to where both of you aren’t working at the same time.”

“The Lees will step up and watch her; I know that. Don’t worry about that. I mean, I’ll take you as well for things, but you don’t have to move shifts around to watch her, is what I am saying. You might need that time for…”

“Don’t think like that. She’ll be home, and you’ll fuss over her and the baby soon.”

Tommy started to prepare the batter for the waffles because he needed to do something with his hands. He hoped that Maddie would be home soon for the sake of Evan, Howie, and Jee-Yun.

Chapter Ten

Buck picked up the clothes that Jee had tossed in what was pretty much her room in the house. She had been excited for her bath after breakfast because she got syrup all over her. Tommy and Chim were still in the kitchen, with Chim not really doing well at what he was doing.

There had been the fear that Maddie had left like she had last time but it was Buck who had stepped up to calm Chim down. There was no way that Maddie would leave Jee alone in the house, no matter how quickly Buck and Chim were going to get there after Eddie’s goodbye dinner. There was no way that Maddie would leave the door open like she had as well.

Buck knew that things were going to get worse before they got better. He had no idea what to do to help, but he wanted to do something. Athena was already getting various footage from doorbell cameras already. The house had been cleared with no obvious signs of a struggle. It was insane that Maddie had been kidnapped again. With being pregnant, Buck knew that there was no way that Maddie would be anything but kidnapped.

Chim was barely holding on, and if his staying with Buck and Tommy helped him not spiral like he had last time, Buck was all for it. He figured that Tommy would be as well. There was no reason to kick Chim and Jee-Yun out. Of course, they might want to go home, and that meant that they needed to deal with Buck being there as much as possible.

A knock on the door had Buck looking at it. He wasn’t sure who it was, but he figured it was at least Hen. He tossed Jee’s shirt over his shoulder and opened the door as Tommy appeared in the doorway from the kitchen. Hen, Karen, Denny, and Mara were on the other side.

“Is this a good time?” Hen asked.

“Depends on if you want waffles or not,” Tommy said as he came up behind Buck. “You guys hungry?”

Mara was the first to nod her head.

“Good. We just got Jee out of the bath after she got syrup all over herself. Chim’s drinking coffee in the kitchen. We can all head in there if you want.” Tommy tugged Buck with him out of the way of the door.

Hen came in, and she headed for the kitchen, but the kids both stopped to give Buck a hug and then Karen was there to hug him as well. Buck swallowed and smiled at her when she pulled out of his arms.

“Thanks,” Buck said.

“Hen’s focused on Chim, which is good, but I think that a few are forgetting that’s your sister there, and you have just as much reason to be worried about her as Chim does.”

Buck swooped in for another hug because he was feeling a little like he was adrift. He was worried about Chim, and Chim was worried about him, but it seemed that most people were just texting Chim about things, not him at all.

“Are there really waffles?” Karen asked.

“I can make more. Jee wanted cinnamon ones, but we can do anything. I haven’t cleaned up the iron yet,” Tommy said before he led Karen into the kitchen.

Buck followed at a more sedate pace. The kids would end up at the nook because that was best for them, but there was enough for the rest of them.

“Where is Jee?” Hen asked.

“She was getting dressed, and then she’ll be down,” Chim said.

“Alone?” Hen looked at Karen and then at the three of them to give a disapproving look.

“She knows well how to get up and down the stairs,” Tommy said.

“How?” Hen asked.

“She scoots down if she thinks she can’t take it. We swapped out the rail that went down for a thinner one that she could hold onto better. She scoots most of the time because she likes it. She will toss her toys down the stairs though, so be prepared for-” Tommy looked to the side as the sound of a small crash happened as books were tossed down the stairs. “It’s like she knew I was talking about her.”

Karen laughed and shook her head before heading to the living room area to help Jee with her books. A minute later, Jee came into the kitchen with a stuffed dinosaur in her hands.

“Second breakfast?” Jee asked.

“Dry waffles for you,” Chim said.

Buck walked over to where Tommy was getting stuff together to make more waffles. This was his family, the one he would be closer to in the aftermath of Eddie going back to El Paso to be with Chris. Looking around. Buck tried to find his phone. He found it was sitting where he had left it. He checked it to see that Eddie was working on the listing for subletting his place because no one who had come had worked out. Tommy had some feelers out to someone who might be able to help him find someone, but Buck wasn’t that sure about things. Eddie needed someone he could trust in the house.

“Okay, so we need to talk about a few things,” Hen said. She looked over at where Mara and Denny were keeping Jee entertained. She leaned over the table, making everyone else lean in.

Tommy turned his head to the side so that he could hopefully hear, but Buck wasn’t sure that he was going to be able to.

“Maddie didn’t run,” Buck said.

Hen looked at him with a little bit of a look of shock. “I never said that she did.”

“No, but I know that everyone else is thinking it. Jee was left alone in the house with the door unlocked and open. Maddie would never leave her like that.” Buck looked at Chim.

“Maddie’s pregnant, and everything has been good. Her doctor has been keeping track of her levels, and she’s not anywhere close to a point of worry.”

Buck laid his hand on Chim’s shoulder, and he looked at Hen and Karen.

“You knew, Buck?” Hen asked.

“We wanted to keep it quiet, but Buck remembered something from when Maddie was pregnant with Jee. So he figured that out when Maddie got sick at the smell of brie.”

“Damn,” Karen said.

“And you are sure that she didn’t freak out?” Hen asked.

“She is the one who talked me into wanting a baby before I knew she was pregnant. She didn’t want to terminate. She is not running from us.”

“Okay, so where are we on everything?” Hen asked, seeming to accept it and everything that Chim had said.

“I am not sure. I’ve not answered Athena’s text yet. She said to text her when I woke up. I wanted to make sure that Jee was taken care of before that.”

“That was a good plan; speaking of her, what is going to happen?” Hen asked.

“She’s going to stay here with Tommy while Buck and I head to the station once we hear back from Athena or wherever she wants to meet us.”

“Have we gone through everyone that this could be?” Hen asked.

“I have no clue who it could be beyond someone from dispatch, a person who figured out that she was the person who took a call where help didn’t get there in time and blamed her. Josh and Sue are going to work that angle this morning, from what I understand.”

“Good, good. So we can work on a few things. Does Doug have any living family?” Karen asked as she looked at Buck.

“Um, no. His parents died not long after Maddie married him. From what I understood, he had no siblings or cousins to whom he was close. He was pretty alone. Athena texted me that they were working on that angle, just to make sure. Tracking down his living family. I think, honestly, most of them had to be happy that he was dead and that he hadn’t taken Maddie with him. I met one of them at the wedding, but I never kept in contact with any of them because I didn’t even have much contact with Doug.”

“First waffle up,” Tommy said. He carried it over to the table, and he split it up into sections to let the kids take the piece they wanted. He headed back to work on the next one, adding some chocolate chips to the batter as it was on the iron.

The image made Buck want to do something stupid, like ask Tommy to adopt a kid with him. Tommy was going to be a great dad, and the kids all loved him. It made Buck want to walk over and kiss him, but he didn’t need the razzing from the kids over that. It also really wasn’t the time or the place for any of it. He wanted to be present for Chim, knowing that Tommy was going to take care of him. Then, they could all also focus on Jee.

They were going to get Maddie back.

—

Tommy looked at Evan, where he was getting Jee laid down into bed.

“Unca Buck, what about the person who was crying?” Jee asked.

“What person?” Evan got the blanket up to Jee’s chin and smiled down at her.

“The one who was talking to Mommy.”

Evan looked at Tommy with wide eyes, and Tommy slipped away to head into the living room, where Howie was talking to Athena about Maddie. Howie looked up at him, and Tommy nodded toward the hall. Jee had asked for Evan to be the one to read her the bedtime story.

“Who was talking to Mommy?” Evan asked when Howie and Tommy got inside the room again.

“The person who was crying. They weren’t happy.”

Howie looked at them and swallowed.

Tommy was putting it together as well. He had no idea what was going to help them find Maddie but this seemed like something that was going to be a big help.

Howie dialed a number on his phone as he headed out of the room again. Tommy followed him to make sure that Howie had the help he needed. Howie spent a few minutes on the phone before he hung up and just looked at Tommy.

“I think that maybe it would be best if Buck went with me to talk to the detective. You think he would want to come?”

“I don’t like sending you out alone, and Evan knows his sister better than I do. So you two go, and I’ll stay here with Jee and make sure that things are calm enough for her to get some sleep. I can have Miriam come over and watch her if something comes up that you need me for.”

Howie nodded his head, and he headed back upstairs to get things ready to head out. He came back with a bag in his hand that looked like it was pretty full. Tommy wondered what was inside, but he didn’t want to ask.

Evan came down a few minutes later, a look on his face. Tommy couldn’t place that look, but he wanted to. He stepped up to Evan and cupped his face.

“Are you going to go with Howie to talk to the detective?”

“Yes, I want to be with him. Support him. Are you okay with Jee alone?”

“Of course. Whatever you need of me, Evan. I promise that. I’ll always be there for whatever you need.” Tommy leaned in and brushed his lips over Evan’s. “You need to pack a bag?”

“Nah, that was just Maddie’s go bag for the hospital. Chim was allowed to pack that up from the house after parts of it were cleared.”

“That was nice of the cops. Keep me informed of what you are doing so I don’t have to worry about you two. Athena has told me stories.”

“You can’t believe half of them.”

“Only half?”

Evan laughed, and he leaned in for a hug. Tommy let go of his face and held him close. He looked at Howie and then let go of Evan with one arm and held it out. Howie came over and leaned into the hug. Evan opened up the hug to allow Howie in close as well. It was nice and it felt like it was home a little bit.

“Get out of here,” Tommy said as he let them go.

Howie went for the door and Evan followed, picking up the bag for Maddie as he went.

Evan looked back at him and smiled when he got to the door.

The house was quiet when they left, and Tommy headed to the kitchen to do a little more cleaning up. The dishwasher was full of dishes to wash, and at least that would give him something to do with his hands. He got the water going to get it warm before he stopped up the sink. The kitchen was a safe haven for Evan, and Tommy wanted to make sure it was set up the way it needed to be when Evan got back. He was worried that this wasn’t going to go well.

Evan texted a few times between when Tommy started the dishes and finished them. The last was that the detective was slow to answer her door. Tommy laughed at Evan having to stay in the car because Howie was worried about overwhelming the detective.

Then the texts stopped and there was a pit of worry that started up in Tommy’s stomach at that. He tried to ignore it.

—

Buck was leaning against the car when Athena and Romero got there. He perked up and wasn’t shocked when someone was sent over to manage him. He had no idea what was going on inside until he heard the gunshot, and he was off like a rabbit. He was in the doors of the kitchen before anyone could stop him.

He saw it all. He saw Maddie on the floor with Chim barely stopping the blood. Buck grabbed a towel and handed it over to Chim as soon as he could get over there. Then, once Chim had it set, Buck took over because he could hold it better with his larger hands. Chim checked everything that was happening around them, and he made sure that Buck was holding it where it needed to be as Maddie’s blood came out.

“Hold on, Maddie,” Buck said.

Chim laid his hand on Buck’s shoulder, and then he was moving as paramedics came inside. This part was easy; Buck knew when to move, how to move, and how to allow everyone to do what they needed to save his sister.

He was shocked, and he knew it. He could be going into shock at seeing his sister with her throat cut.

“Chim?” Athena asked as she stepped over to them.

“It’s all hers. Every bit of that is hers,” Chim said.

“Okay, I’m going to have you talk to someone, and then you’ll be free to go.”

“Buck, go with her.”

“Chim, you should go. You can talk to the cops later. I’ll stay here and tell them everything between what they know about why we are here, and you are leaving me in the car. Go.”

Chim nodded once, and he looked at Athena, who looked unsure, but she nodded her head. Chim raced out of the house.

“You should know better,” Athena said.

“We didn’t think she was the killer! Jee told us about hearing someone who was talking to her mom, who sounded like they were crying. Detective Braeburn wasn’t answering her phone, and she needed to know it.”

“Oh, Josh told me about Chim calling. Am I going to have to worry about you and Chim banding together for things instead of you and Eddie?”

Buck swallowed, and he looked away from her.

“Romero is over there, and you can tell him everything, and Buck, I mean everything,” Athena said.

“I’ll be good,” Buck said. He looked out at where the ambulance was finally pulling away. It was hard to see Maddie leaving like that, but she needed to be where she could get the help she needed.

“Good. I’ll make sure that someone gets you to the hospital as soon as possible.”

As soon as possible, it was an hour later with traffic and taking his time with the statement. Chim’s statement could be taken once he was calmed down. Which wasn’t going to happen until Maddie was out of surgery.

Buck walked into the waiting area, a place where he felt like he spent too much time. Tommy was there with Jee on his chest; she was asleep and looked all the world like she felt like she was safe. It made Buck’s knees buckle, and he nearly went down. Bobby was there to hug him tightly.

It was being safe in Bobby’s arms that made Buck lose it. They had been worried about the killer, but not like this. Not trying to slit her throat. There was shuffling around them, and then Tommy’s hands were on his shoulders. Not pulling him away from Bobby but letting him know he was there. It felt good. It was like acceptance. Tommy didn’t need to be the most important person in the room to Buck all the time. He was willing to take a step back when someone else needed to be the focus.

“Surgery is going well. A nurse came out and gave us an update,” Bobby said after a few more minutes of hugging Buck tightly.

“That’s good. How much longer?”

“Not sure. They are going to try and minimize the scarring on her neck, but she’s lucky to be still alive. She did it to save him.”

“She did what?” Buck asked.

“Her throat had been slit in the basement, and she came up because she had seen Chim on the security feed that was in the basement. She didn’t want them both to die and leave Jee an orphan.”

Buck nodded, his words stuck in his throat. He had no idea what Maddie and Chim’s plans were for Jee-Yun if they were to die. Buck wanted it to be him, but he got it; he was pretty much the last option. Hen and Karen were first on that list. Then probably Bobby and Athena, even Eddie. Buck was only the first option for Tommy, and it seemed Eddie, but no one knew that. Buck had never told anyone about that. He and Eddie hadn’t even talked about it after that day. It would be different now that his parents were willing to meet Chris, where they were not forcing him into things that were too young for him. The distance had been good for allowing them to see what they needed to protect him from and what he didn’t need to protect him from.

“She’s going to make it,” Bobby said before he pushed Buck into Tommy’s arms.

Buck looked at Tommy to see that he still had Jee-Yun in her arms. Buck offered to take her, but Tommy shook his head. Tommy was good at holding her for long periods of time. She loved it because Buck was the only one who was able to do that of the ones who held her a lot. Now Jee had a second option for being held as long as she wanted.

“How are you feeling?” Tommy asked as he pulled Buck over to sit down.

Eddie was across from them, looking like he was a million miles away. His thoughts were probably on Shannon. Buck would need to check in on him as soon as possible. It was something that he had no clue how to talk about. He didn’t want to make Eddie talk about it if he didn’t want to, but he also wanted to make sure that Eddie knew that he could talk about it if he wanted to.

“I’m not sure how I feel, but I know I’m happy to be here.”

Tommy nodded, and he pulled Buck into his side, making sure he was leaning into him as much as possible with Jee still in his arms.

A few minutes later, Hen and Chim came over to them. Hen sat on Buck’s side, and Chim sat on Tommy’s side. Chim reached out and rubbed Jee’s back.

Jee woke up enough to climb into her father’s arms.

“Why is Jee here?”

“She threw a fit when Miriam came over to watch her. She had been asleep, but I guess us talking woke her up. I figured that taking her here would be better than leaving her throwing a fit with Miriam. Miriam’s on tap to come and get anyone who needs it and take them home.”

Buck hummed, and he closed his eyes. It was going to be a while yet before Maddie was out of surgery. So it would be okay to close his eyes. He was safe with Tommy there and so many people around. He didn’t want to sleep because it was going to be a while before he got the image of Maddie bleeding out on the floor with her throat slit. It was going to take a while to see himself without Maddie’s blood on his hands again—just like last time.

Bobby and Athena moved over to sit across from them, beside Eddie. It was like their family was healing, coming together again in Chim and his time of need.

“Han family?” a doctor asked as they came into the room.

Chim was up like a rocket, and he looked back at Buck when Buck didn’t move. Buck got up and followed. He had no idea what this was going to end up being about, and he just wanted to have something to hold onto. He grabbed Chim’s then and squeezed, holding on just as tightly.

“Maddie is out of surgery, and everything went well.”

“The baby?” Chim asked.

“Is fine. Do you want to know the gender?”

“Yes, we’re just hitting the point where it could be seen on an ultrasound. I’ll tell her when I tell her the baby is fine.”

“It’s a baby boy.”

A boy. Maddie was having a boy. It was great—a little boy. Jee was going to be the best at being a bossy older sister in the world. It was just like them, with a little bit of an age difference.

“Two of you can go in and see her for the moment, and then when she’s settled into her room, everyone can visit her for a few moments before you all have to leave.”

“Here,” Tommy said as he handed off Jee to Chim. “Give her a hug, and then I’ll get her in the truck to take her back. She’ll sleep better in bed than on me.”

“Don’t know how true that is,” Buck said. He leaned into Tommy for a moment. “I sleep pretty well on you.”

That made even Chim laugh. He wrapped his arms around Jee and held on tightly, even as Jee started to wake up.

“Home?”

“You’ll go home with Uncle Tommy,” Chim said.

“‘Kay,” Jee said before she turned her head to look for Tommy. “Now?”

“In a few minutes,” Tommy said.

“You don’t want to see her?” Buck asked.

“I can do that tomorrow when she’s less messed up and more able to remember. This is about you two right now. Go.”

Buck looked at Chim and nodded. They walked toward where the doctor was waiting to show them where Maddie was in recovery. She looked so small. Maddie was nearly done with the first trimester, and that meant that she had been strong as hell not to lose the baby with the blood loss. A nephew. He was going to have a nephew. There was so much good in that. He could have lost them both, and Chim could have lost them both through nothing Maddie did.

Just before they disappeared through the doors, Buck looked back at where Tommy was waiting for him to come back.

He wanted to have something else to think about, so he thought about what to do to help Maddie in the coming days. Cooking some food for them to be able to reheat was good; it was nothing too hard, but softer foods until her throat healed.

Maddie was so still in the bed that Buck wasn’t sure that he wasn’t going to bawl his eyes out again. This was going to be hard, but they could make it.

Chapter Eleven

Buck snorted awake, but he wasn’t sure where he was. He looked around until he realized he was on the couch at Maddie and Chim’s. He had been dreaming, and it had been hard, it seemed. He barely remembered what he had been dreaming, but from the way his heart raced, it had to be something kind of horrible.

The nightmares were common. Sometimes Maddie died, sometimes Chim did, sometimes it was both of them and then there were the times that his brain fucked him over so hard that he dreamed it was Tommy with his throat slit.

Maddie had been home three days, and the whole family was kind of just sticking close to home. Buck went home every other night to Tommy, but to give Chim a night to sleep a little better, Buck came and stayed on the couch.

It was still dark. He looked out the window to see no hint of light that wasn’t street lights and cars. He got up and headed around the house to check it over. He paused at the open door to Maddie and Chim’s room. It was open because of Jee.

Chim was wrapped around Maddie, and he was holding her close. It was so fucking adorable, and Buck was glad that Maddie had someone in her life who treated her the way that she was meant to be treated. He wanted there to have the world. If the outside world would just leave her alone, it would be fine.

A soft chime from the living told him that Tommy was texting him. It was soft enough to be heard from where he was but not loud enough to wake him up if he was asleep. He watched them sleep for a few more minutes before checking on Jee before he headed to find his phone. It was just after five, and that meant that Tommy was awake because he had issues sleeping without Buck in bed with him.

On the way back to the living room, Buck stopped by Maddie and Chim’s room again, taking in how much they loved each other. He was building that with Tommy. He might have done something stupid after Maddie had gotten home from the hospital and bought a ring. He had been doing some shopping and found a shop that was a metalsmith place that had all kinds of things made by their staff. There was even a show they did out at where they had their forges.

There were custom rings in there. He had seen one that fit the kind of ring that he really thought that Tommy would love. He had learned the size of Tommy’s ring finger because he had done that at one point when Tommy had been crashed out after a night of a lot of sex. He knew what he needed and ordered it. It hadn’t been made yet since there was a backlog because the person who made the rings was off on vacation, but he hadn’t cared because he didn’t need it anytime soon. He just saw it and had to have it. It was insane but it also had been a theme of their relationship.

A second chime had Buck heading away. He picked up his phone and found that Tommy had texted a picture of him alone in bed. Buck smiled at the picture and lay on the couch before getting comfortable. The next was a box of stuff. Buck had no idea what that box of stuff was until the next picture came through which was that box in the back of the truck.

Buck got up and unlocked the front door before heading to the bathroom to get ready to face the day. He made sure that he was dressed enough not to freak out Maddie or Jee if they got out of their beds.

Thankfully, Maddie was doing pretty good but the mental side of things was going to take a while to get over. Buck was debating taking a different shift for a little while if he could. That way, when Chim had to go back to work, Buck could be there for Maddie.

Buck looked at his phone to see if Tommy had texted anything else. Tommy was good at scheduling texts to send a message that would tease the hell out of Buck.

There were a few times that Buck had done it back, but Tommy’s sexual flirting with Buck was so on point that he wasn’t sure he had ever met someone that he was connected with sexually as much as he was with Tommy. Buck looked at himself in the small mirror that Maddie had to allow her to check her hair before she left the house. He had to duck down to look in it but he was used to that. He checked his face to make sure there was no toothpaste there because he was pretty sure that he had forgotten to check that before he left the bathroom.

Buck went to the kitchen, and he started to get things out that he figured would be needed, given what Tommy was bringing with him for them to make for breakfast. He got out a few spices that he would want, and then he got the muffin pans out because he had promised the lady next door some while he had been out there watching Jee play while Maddie took a nap and Chim had fussed.

The front door opened up, and Buck glanced only briefly, his hand wrapping around the handle of the cast iron skillet because he wasn’t stupid despite leaving the door unlocked. He just didn’t want a knock to wake up anyone.

“Just me, Evan,” Tommy said.

Buck smiled at him and let go of the skillet. Tommy’s gaze dropped down, and his eyes widened as he took it in.

“Just me.”

“I know. Just a little leftover worry is all. I left the door unlocked on purpose. I knew you would try it before you knocked.”

“They asleep?” Tommy asked.

“Yeah. I’m sure that Jee will be up soon. She crashed hard last night. She’ll be ready to go full speed ahead as soon as she’s up, too. Where is the stuff?” Buck only just realized that Tommy was empty-handed.

“In the truck still. I wanted to make sure the door was unlocked before I had to set it down and knock. I’ll leave the door ajar when I head out to get it. I also wanted this.” Tommy stepped up to him and kissed him.

Buck slipped his hand up to cup the back of Tommy’s head. He allowed himself to settle into the kiss. Tommy turned them to press Buck into the counter. He didn’t want to turn this into anything too much more than what it was, but he also didn’t want to stop the kiss. They were in Maddie’s kitchen. It would not have gone well if they had caught Buck and Tommy making out there.

Tommy tugged on his shirt, so Buck reached out to brush his hand away because he didn’t want to have to deal with hands under his shirt.

Only it wasn’t Tommy’s big hand that was holding onto his shirt. No, it was a tiny hand.

Buck broke the kiss, and he looked down at Jee, who was staring up at the two of them, both her hands tangled in a shirt.

“Oh, that wasn’t you,” Tommy said.

“No, it wasn’t me.” Buck reached down and picked up Jee, letting her wrap her legs around him as much as she could before she slung her arms around his neck and leaned into him. “Morning, Jee-Bug.”

“Morning, Uncle Buck. Uncle Tommy, hold me?”

“I will as soon as I get back inside.”

The look that Tommy gave Buck said that he would pick that up later. Buck really hoped that he could because he wanted to have that kiss go a little further.

“Hurry,” Jee said.

Tommy turned and ran a little as he headed for the door, making Jee laugh.

“Coffee time?” Buck asked Jee as he poked her in the belly.

“No, tea,” Jee said.

“Okay, that sounds good. Let’s see what kind of tea we have.” Buck turned and headed for the cabinet, seeing that Maddie’s tea, which she really liked, was nearly empty. He added it to the grocery list in his head that he was going to get later that day, maybe take Jee out to lunch. It would be easy to talk her into it. They could go with Tommy and give Maddie and Chim a little time alone without making them leave the house.

There was a lot they could do while they were out after lunch and before they went to shop. They could stay out until it was time to make dinner.

Tommy came back in with a backpack over his shoulder and the box in his arms. He laid it down and started to dig out what they needed. It was all things that Maddie and Chim had, but Tommy wouldn’t want to have to dig into their things. The food was in the cooler bag.

Buck set Jee on the counter. Tommy stepped over and let her scoot toward him while he dug things out of the box. He handed some things to Buck and others and set them on the counter out of Jee’s reach.

“What are you going to make?”

“Dutch Baby pancakes,” Tommy said.

Buck looked at him because he hadn’t had one of those since he had back on the East Coast years ago.

“You can make those?”

“One of the guys in my squad taught me when I stayed with him and his wife when I was injured. I wasn’t given a choice in it. Well, I could have, but then he would have been butthurt and might have had his wife move in with me. I didn’t need that kind of talk from anyone, so I gave in gracefully.”

“Gracefully?” Buck asked.

Tommy gave him a look that told him how ungracefully he took it.

“They helped me learn how to cook since I had gone from a home where my mother did all of the cooking and I was forced to do the outside chores. I had also learned how to better wash my clothes. Cena taught me a lot of things that I needed to know how to do. I was fresh-faced and twenty.”

“And what came of it?” Buck asked. He could tell there was something else there.

Tommy pushed the box back and showed off the five skillets in there, all cast iron. Buck had seen them in Tommy’s cupboards and never asked what they were for because they were not in the pans that were used that often area of Tommy’s kitchen, but it seemed he knew now.

“I was transferred squads not long after because of my flight skills. I lost touch, which was good because they were too alluring.”

Buck raised his eyebrows because Tommy had used the word alluring for people before, the ones he had slept with, even when he was trying to deny being gay. Tommy had slept with a married couple while living with them.

With Jee around, there wasn’t a lot that Buck could ask that would be tame enough for her ears. They didn’t need her repeating anything close to what could come out of their mouths about it. She parroted so much already.

“You just relax,” Tommy said as he looked at Buck.

Buck pushed himself up to sit on the counter, moving back to allow Jee to move over and sit between his legs if she wanted to. She sometimes did when they were at Tommy’s. Buck was ready to learn how to make these things.

—

“Eddie, slow down,” Evan said as he stood up from the table, leaving his dinner behind. He walked out of the kitchen and into the living room.

Tommy laid down his fork and sighed. He really did try to be understanding, but there were times that he thought that maybe Evan just wanted to put himself first, much less anyone else. There was something to be said for putting people first when you weren’t in their top.

The kind of family unit that Tommy had been jealous of right up until he saw it all in motion to him that Evan put them all first, and they rarely ever did for him. There were times when Evan had needed them, but he had been left behind. Tommy was the first person to put him first for anything, and Evan was stretched too thin to put Tommy first.

Tommy got up from the table and headed for the living room, where Evan was pacing with the phone pressed to his ear. He turned around and saw Tommy standing there. He covered the receiver of the phone.

“You can go and eat.”

“You need to eat as well,” Tommy said.

“Eddie’s got an emergency.”

Tommy stepped up to him, and he brushed his knuckles down the side of Evan’s face. “You haven’t eaten dinner, and you barely touched your lunch. You need to eat something, and you need to do it when it’s warm. Is Eddie’s emergency something that you can’t put off handling until after you have eaten?”

There was a loud noise on the other end.

Evan rolled his eyes before he pulled the phone away to put it on speaker. “Done.”

“Tommy, he said he wasn’t doing anything. I didn’t realize that he was eating his dinner.”

“It’s not on you, Eddie. He just needs to learn to say no.”

“He needed me.”

“I didn’t need you that bad, and I could have waited an hour until you were done eating.”

“It doesn’t take me an hour to eat.”

“It takes you an hour to eat and then clean everything up.”

Tommy laughed at Eddie’s words, reached for the phone, and then nodded toward the kitchen.

“Tommy’s taking my phone from me. I’ll call when I’m done.”

Tommy took the phone and pressed it to his ear after turning off speaker. He stared at Evan until he was in the kitchen.

“You there?” Eddie asked.

“Yeah, I’m here. Sorry.”

“Nothing to be sorry for you. You have to take care of him because he’ll kill himself taking care of everyone else. How is he doing with Maddie?”

“Eh, no telling that easily. He’s just started to not sleep there and is exhausted, but he’s not letting himself feel it. I have a feeling that he might crash if he sat down for longer than it will take to eat dinner. Do you need me to make sure that he calls you back tonight?”

“No, if he doesn’t, we can talk in the morning after he’s eaten breakfast.” Eddie exhaled. “Sorry. I know that he’s got a lot going on. I was just in a small fight with Chris and he’s good at making sure that I’m not being a horrible idiot.”

“I get it. He’s just never going to stop himself, and I don’t want to be the bad guy here too much.”

“He’ll do anything for anyone that he loves, but we don’t take care of him as much as we should. I know that. I’ve seen how things are over the last while. I’m glad he’s got you in his corner. I know that he’s in a good place with you, and I’m glad that you and he could be together with his.”

“I am as well. I’m going to go and eat with him. I’m leaving his phone in the living room. You can text him about not needing to call until morning unless he is up for it.”

Eddie laughed and hung up without saying goodbye.

Tommy laid the phone down and headed to the kitchen. He didn’t want to fight with Evan, but he would if he needed to get him to understand that he needed time to himself.

“Where is my phone?” Evan asked when Tommy sat down empty-handed.

“In the living room. Eddie’s going to text you something, and I want you to take it on board.”

Evan huffed, but he didn’t look too upset. He picked up his fork and dug into the veggies that Tommy had roasted.

“I’m sorry.”

“What are you sorry for?”

Evan narrowed his eyes at him. Tommy knew that look, trying to figure out if it was a trap or something. Obviously, Evan had been with too many people who played games.

“I want to make sure you are sorry for the right thing before I absolve you.”

“I am not sure what I am sorry for.”

“We are eating dinner. You didn’t ask if you could take the call. This is one of the few meals we have had over the last while that is just us. We’ve had Jee a lot or been at Maddie and Howie’s.”

Evan nodded and looked down at his food. He shoved a few things around on the plate for a moment before he looked up again. “I’m sorry for not showing you you are important to me. I know it’s much more than that, but that’s the base of it. I’m exhausted, Tommy.”

“I know you are, baby. I know. Eat your food. Call Eddie in the morning after we have a lazy morning together. He said he just needs to talk to someone and he’ll be fine with that happening in the morning.”

“It’s okay to put me first,” Evan said.

Tommy nodded his head. They were working on it, and things were going pretty well.

They chatted about small things for the rest of the meal, with Evan talking about what he wanted to do on their next full day off together. He wanted to make sure that it was something that Evan wanted to do and that everyone knew outside of Maddie really needing him, no one should bother them.

Next was cleaning up and then a shower because it helped them both settle down. There was, as always, too much touching.

Evan was the first out of the water, and he made sure the door of the walk-in was open long enough for the cool air to hit Tommy. He grinned as he shut the door. Tommy turned his face into the water, and he let it hit all over him. He turned it up just a little and let it run all over him, something left from his military days when he had a chance to take a little bit of a longer shower after a mission had gone sideways.

When he was done, he shut off the water and indulged in shaking his body like a dog. He sometimes did it to wake himself up, but this time, it was to speed up the drying by getting as much water off as he could. He bent over and ran his fingers through his hair.

Evan was standing there with the towel they used for their hair, and Tommy worked on getting his hair dry while Evan went at his body with the towel, spot drying, and doing a very quick way of it.

“You know, there are ways to make me forget about everything,” Evan said.

Tommy felt his cock twitch at that. He looped the towel around his neck and looked at Evan, only to find him on his knees, his gaze locked on Tommy’s soft cock. Tommy swallowed, and he thought about what he wanted Evan to do. With Evan so worried about Maddie, sex hadn’t been that big on their list of things they did.

“Are you sure?”

“I wanna not think about anything but pleasing you.”

Tommy curled his fingers into the nape of Evan’s neck. He didn’t pull or push; he just kept him right there. “Kiss me.”

Evan leaned in and kissed the tip of Tommy’s cock, pulling back and licking the slit just a little with the tip of his tongue. Tommy started to harden; the only real evidence was the fact that it started to stick out instead of hanging down there. This was the kind of fun that Tommy loved when it came to Evan. He was willing to try anything, and he loved giving and receiving pleasure.

“Daddy, please, can I?” Evan asked.

Tommy sucked in a breath. He was still wet because Evan had done a half-assed job on it just to get to his cock. “Not yet. Finish drying me off, baby.”

Evan huffed a little, but he got up, a bratty look on his face. He walked behind Tommy with the towel and started to actually dry him like he meant it. Tommy didn’t usually go for something like this, but he did like it. It was a little bit of a service to him, but it had a point. They aren’t also going to get into this while in the bathroom. There were times that he didn’t mind it but wanted the bed right there for him to sit on while Evan serviced him.

“Good boys get rewards. Bratty ones go to bed without a treat.”

Evan laughed in Tommy’s ear as he dried his shoulder. It felt good to have Evan taking care of him like that. It reminded him that he was allowed to accept it as well. This was part of the things he had to learn to work on. If he could learn to do it better during sex, it would creep into the rest of his life without having to work too much on it. Working on it during sex was going to be hard enough.

When Tommy was dry, Evan was on his knees in front of him again, drying the tops of his feet with a care that they didn’t need. Then he was looking up at Tommy with such a look of longing in his eyes. Fuck, Evan was so hard to resist. Tommy had tried after that fucking first date and hadn’t been able to.

“Did I do good enough, Daddy?”

“You did perfectly. Let’s get out of the damp bathroom.”

Evan eyed Tommy’s cock for a few seconds before he looked up at Tommy, that pout on his lips. There was one thing that Tommy had trouble with denying, and it was that look on Evan’s face.

“Fine, you can play a little.” Tommy waited for Evan to pick what he wanted to do, and he wasn’t shocked when Evan went right for his fully hard cock. He took his time, licking around the head of it and then he took as much as he could without it going into his throat into his mouth. There was a lot cock there, and Tommy knew it. He loved watching Evan stuffing it into his mouth. Hell, there was little that Evan did in the bedroom, and outside of it, Tommy didn’t love watching. He could spend his days watching him.

Evan took his time working up and down Tommy’s cock before he pulled off and relaxed back.

“Good,” Tommy said. He held out his hand to Evan and helped him stand up, pulling him in and kissing him for a moment. After the kiss had gone on long enough, Tommy started to back them toward the bed. He held onto Evan as much as he could until they were close to the bed, knowing how many steps it took.

Tommy spun them to where he could sit down on the bed as soon as his legs hit it. Evan followed him, trusting him. If they fell, they fell. He had fallen before and they had laughed it off.

When his legs hit the bed, Tommy broke the kiss and sat down. There was a feeling of euphoria as Evan went to his knees again.

“I love you between my legs, your head bobbing up and down, taking me inside of you.” Tommy reached out and caught the back of Evan’s neck, and he just let Evan go to town.

After a few minutes, Tommy dropped back on the bed, and he looked at Evan through half-lidded eyes, loving the way that Evan looked as he bobbed on his cock. “Don’t make me come.”

Evan slowed down, his gaze moving from where he couldn’t see Tommy’s face to where he could. That brat look was there.

“If you make me come, you’ll have to jerk yourself off, but if you stop before that, you can fuck me.”

Evan slowed down even more, making it seem like he was making love to Tommy’s cock instead of fucking it. It was a change in pace that had Tommy calming down when he had been closer to orgasm than he thought.

When Evan pulled off him, Tommy moved up the bed and turned to where he could get to the lube and picked up a condom. Evan climbed onto the bed, took the condom, and tossed it back into the drawer before taking the lube.

“I’m going to come in you, Daddy.”

Tommy nodded, and he waved for Evan to have at it. Evan moved him how he wanted him, his legs spread and his knees up, giving him access as he slicked up his fingers. Tommy wanted to touch, and he would once he had Evan inside of him.

There was such a damned good feeling of being fingered by Evan. His fingers were thick like Tommy’s, and it was so damned good. He was panting by the time Evan got his fingers free of him. Evan slicked up his fingers and made a show of stroking his cock with the lube, the head appearing and disappearing. Tommy was going to wreck him with this.

“You can’t make me come this way either. I have plans for my cock and your face.” Tommy loved the way that Evan’s eyes widened in want.

Slowly, ever so slowly, Evan kissed up Tommy’s chest before kissing him as he slipped inside of him. It was another thing that he loved. Evan felt so good inside of him, and Tommy told him that. As Evan moved inside of him, Tommy touched. He touched everywhere that he could and then kept on going.

It felt good to have Evan with him like this, in their home, the place they were making together, blending themselves into one like they were now.

Evan came, his hips pressing to Tommy all the way and his mouth going slack before he slipped over to press his lips to Tommy’s shoulder.

“That’s it, baby. That’s it. Yes, fill me up,” Tommy said.

Evan slumped down into him when he was done, his body warm and sated. Tomy moved, getting Evan on his side where he wanted him before moving to get his cock where he wanted it. He fisted it, loving the way the head appeared and disappeared as he pumped it. Evan caught on, and he turned his head just enough to kiss the tip when Tomy moved his hand down, and he was kissing it like that when Tommy came, painting his face.

Tommy stared at Evan for as long as he could, then he started to clean them up. Tomorrow could be for more talking; now, it was just being together.

Chapter Twelve

Buck picked up the bag from where Tommy had left it before he had face-planted in the bed. He looked at where his lover was dead asleep. He had been so fucking exhausted from work that he had barely given Buck a kiss before heading to bed. Buck had beaten him only because Tommy had been forced through a few things to wake him up enough to make sure that he didn’t pass out in the car with Miriam. They carpooled to work more often than not lately. It seemed like LA was a hive of stupid people doing stupid things or accidents that just didn’t make any sense.

Heading for the mud room, Buck started to figure out what he was going to do that day. Tommy was going to be out for a few hours; Buck had made sure that his alarms were set for when he was going to wake up. Tommy had a point where he would want to not sleep past, but it was usually based on what sleep he got at work, and it seemed that he had gotten very little sleep. There was something soft about Tommy was when he was like that. Buck might slip up into the bedroom with him for a nap later, closer to when Tommy was going to wake up. Naps had never really held a place in his heart until Tommy. The soft moments together were good. Wrapped in each other’s arms and secure in the knowledge that they were safe with each other.

There were a few things to toss into the wash, things from the hamper behind as well as the bag in his hand. He had already gotten his stuff taken care of. The bookshelves needed to be stocked today since they had finally gotten them put up. Later that evening it was dinner with Maddie, Chim, and Jee. Buck had to put something together to take there for dessert since that was what he was asked to bring. There was a time they were supposed to arrive, and Buck knew not to arrive much earlier than that because it would make Maddie a little harried about having him underfoot while she and Chim were working on dinner.

He grabbed the bottle of soap, but something shifted behind it all, and he frowned. He looked but couldn’t see what made the noise.

He shook his head and poured out the amount that was needed into the cap before he tossed the whole thing into the running water, then he started to work on getting the rest of the clothes sorted out.

Chores like this were calming to him. He had never lived in a house where he had to take care of all of it. His parents hadn’t wanted him to touch anything in the house that wasn’t in his room, for the most part, so he had outdoor chores that kept him out of the house for hours at a time. Buck didn’t mind the stuff that he and Tommy did. There were very few chores that were wholly done by one or the other. Tommy liked cooking, but Buck liked it better, and they did mostly do a thing whoever cooks, the other cleaned, but both of them cleaned as they went when cooking so the dishes were just the stuff that things were served on and then the dishes used to eat them.

Once the clothes were all sorted and the water was getting ready to shut off, he fished out the cup of detergent and made sure all the soap was off it. He grabbed a shirt to dry it off and then put it back on the bottle before shutting the door. The door wouldn’t shut, so Buck pulled the bottle back out and he looked to the side to see what could be stuck in there.

There were not a lot of things that were supposed to be in there. He pulled the basket with the dryer balls out and found the box of dryer sheets that Tommy sometimes used was moved. Buck had stopped using them a long time ago because most of his underwear was moisture-wicking, and that kind of destroyed that. So he had just started to use dryer balls or just nothing at all, and he dealt with the static. He pulled out the box and found that there was something in the back. He laid his fingers on it, and it. It felt like a little plastic box. It fit in his hand. He put everything back and laid the box on top of the washer. He knew exactly what thing was. He didn’t open it because it wasn’t time for that kind of thing.

While he was dying to know what ring Tommy had gotten him, he wasn’t going to ruin that surprise. He had grown up enough to not peek at his presents years ago. He slipped it back into the cabinet, in a spot where it was invisible to the naked eye and back enough that it wasn’t going to stop the door from shutting. He checked the washer before heading out and shutting the door behind him. He went to the kitchen to figure out a snack, a grin on his face.

The plate of snacks was simple, and he just stood at a window looking out into the backyard. He reached down for the last few things on the plate when he felt the air moving just enough that he didn’t jump when Tommy wrapped himself around him.

“Bed was lonely.”

Buck snorted before he wrapped a hand around Tommy’s hip and held him there.

“You needed the sleep,” Buck said.

“I woke up horny after a very naughty dream, and I rolled over to see about talking you into sucking me off, and you were gone. Naughty boy.”

Buck swallowed and laughed a little before turning in Tommy’s arms. He paused at the look on Tommy’s face, seeing the tiredness there, but he was as well. Buck wanted as well. He wanted to feel Tommy under his hands. He was pretty much always raring to go.

“I’ll join you in there, then.”

“Stay dressed. I want a show for having to get up and going after you.”

Buck let out a moan before he leaned in for a kiss. Tommy took control of it, a hand slipping up to cup the back of Buck’s neck and hold him close. Buck gave into the kiss and what Tommy wanted from it. Tommy was the one who had the horrible day and even more exhausting night at work.

“Be quick,” Tommy said after breaking the kiss. He let go of Buck before he slipped out of the kitchen.

Buck finished off his snack and drained his water. His mouth felt like the desert, but that was from want. Finishing up cleaning just took a few extra moments, and then he was heading to the bedroom.

He found Tommy lying in the middle of the bed, his head on a pillow, an arm thrown over his chest while his other was rubbing at his hard cock through his pants. He looked like sin incarnate. Buck walked to the end of the bed where he could show off, stripping his shirt off. he was in the same kind of clothes that Tommy was, lounge pants that Tommy had found that were warm and comfortable but light enough that they didn’t care if they ran out and did something quick like picking up food in them. Then, shirts that either had sleeves, like Buck’s or didn’t have them, like Tommy’s. It was their normal house clothes these days. There was nothing sexy about them, but they were very sexy to each other.

“Wearing any underwear?” Tommy asked when Buck tossed the shirt he was wearing off to the side.

“No. Do I ever?”

“Most of the time, no. Show me just your cock.”

Buck pulled down the front of his pants, his cock flopping out just hard enough to stand up a little but not at full attention.

“Stroke yourself while holding your pants down.”

It was moments like this that Buck loved, where Tommy wanted to see certain things, and he was more than willing to ask for them. It showed how much he wanted this.

“Yeah, that’s it, get yourself wet. Show me how much you want this.”

It wasn’t going to take long for Buck to start to get wet. He never did, and it used to be something that made him a little ashamed, the evidence all over his pants, especially when making out with someone, and it was getting hot and heavy. Tommy made him love it, though, and made him want to show how wet he did get. Buck shuffled forward, getting as close to the bed as he could without getting on it, and the first drop of fluid hit his slit, and on another stroke, more joined it, and then it started to slip down to drip.

Tommy licked his lips like he wanted to taste that drop.

“Yeah, that’s it. Keep on going. Tell me when you are so close that another stroke might make you come.” Tommy rubbed at his pants a little more, drawing Buck’s attention to the movement. It was a perfect way to distract himself.

“You want to have a taste?” Buck asked.

“Who is the one who is turning who on here?”

“We both are, Daddy. Your boy loves turning you on. He loves making you want him.”

“You do love turning me on. Yes, I want a taste, but you are to stay right there.”

Buck moaned as he nodded. Tommy rolled to his side before getting to his hands and knees; he darted forward for a lick just as another drop started to form, and then he flopped back on the bed and grinned. This was the fun side of sex. The play, the give and take. The way that they were able to just laugh while they were doing what they were doing.

“Hmm, how close are you?”

“Don’t know,” Buck said. He cocked his head to the side a little and then squeezed a little harder as he stroked. “Not that close. Why don’t you make yourself a little more enticing? Let me see that big, thick cock.”

Tommy pushed his pants down, and he wore them without underwear on, and he got them all the way down to where his hips were on display as well. He stroked his cock a few times, his cock hard as a rock now.

Buck wanted to have it in his mouth. He would get that at some point, and he figured that it was going to be easy to get them both off, and then maybe it would be nap time.

“You love my big cock. Where is your favorite place for it to be? In your mouth, your hand, or your ass?”

“Hmm, depends on the day, but mostly in my mouth. I love the way that I feel it in my throat long after it’s gone, the way that I can think about it and just imagine it.”

The imagining was what got him there; he stopped stroking.

Tommy crooked his finger, and Buck climbed onto the bed. “Tuck yourself in. I want you to soil your pants.”

That should have been degrading, but he loved it. He loved the idea of messing them up. He loved it a great deal. He straddled Tommy and waited to be told what to do next. Tommy was going to lie back and enjoy it. He had no idea what Tommy wanted. He couldn’t even guess it. He tucked himself back into his pants before just hovering, looking at Tommy.

“I love you,” Tommy said.

“I love you too. Want me to show you how much I love your cock in my mouth?”

“Yeah, you do that, just the head at first. I want you to take your time on it. I want to be so turned on that I beg for your mouth on me all the way.”

Buck could do that. He shifted to get his body ready for it, and then he was kissing the tip of Tommy’s cock. He knew that when he had made Tommy come, he would be rewarded with fucking Tommy’s mouth. It was just waiting for that point and not coming in his pants while sucking Tommy’s cock. Tommy would make him tuck himself back into his pants for the orgasm because that was always a good way of showing how much he loved it.

Tommy tucked an arm under his head to get a better view of Buck on his knees like he was, and he relaxed even as his cock twitched when Buck leaned in to kiss it again. He licked the fluid on his lips and then he dove in, going for the head, using his hand to steady the cock to keep it right where he wanted it. It was fucking good. He wanted to keep on going and make it so much better, so he sucked on the head once he had it all in his mouth. The way that it filled his mouth was perfect; Tommy’s taste was there, clean from the shower but with a little bit of sweaty tang from the warmth of the bed when Tommy had been sleeping.

“You look so good like that. Look at me.”

Buck looked at Tommy without lifting his mouth from the cock. He wanted to have something solid, and when he was allowed to go down further on the cock, he was so fucking looking forward to it.

The way Tommy watched him made Buck feel even bolder, so he moaned. He let out a moan that made even his body shiver at the sound of it. He slipped down a little and then up again, letting the cock fall out of his mouth. He gulped in a breath before he attacked the cock again. He was bobbing up and down when he felt fingers in his hair. He looked at Tommy again and allowed Tommy to push him down his cock a little more.

Tommy stopped a few inches down, and he let go. Buck stroked up, his hand catching that point there, and then he started to bob again, letting the fullness of the cock fill his mouth as Tommy leaked a little more. He licked that off with the whole of its tongue, making sure that the tip of the tongue dipped into the slit as much as he could get before bobbing down again.

The hand came back a few minutes later, and he was allowed to go down further and further. He felt like he was so fucking close to orgasm. He could come in his pants with little issue in a few minutes if Tommy filled his mouth.

“I need more.” Tommy caught Buck’s hair and held him in place before slipping his cock out of his mouth. He scooted down, and Buck moved with him until Buck climbed onto the floor.

Tommy bracketed Buck’s body with his legs and then waved at his cock, sitting up and looking down at Buck.

“I changed my mind. You are going to make me come, I’m going to fill up your mouth, and then you are going to fuck me.”

“Yes,” Buck hissed before he sucked Tommy’s cock back into his mouth, going for broke on getting Tommy off.

It didn’t take long at all for Buck to get into the headspace of wanting to be inside of Tommy. He loved it, getting inside of him while he was still lax from orgasm. Then there was the whole making Tommy get hard. It was the kind of thing that made Buck want to kind of never leave the bed again. Getting themselves off was the height of happiness for him, as well as the cuddling that came after it.

The slight swelling of the cock in his mouth told him that Tommy was getting closer, and then there was the salty tang filling his mouth when he was nearly all the way empty of cock. He waited and swallowed and then used that to suck on the head of the cock and get a little more of a bigger release out of him.

“Fuck look at you, sucking me so good. Begging to be filled.” Tommy arched his hips, filling Buck’s mouth all the way with his cock and letting the last few spurts paint the back of his throat before he pulled back again.

When Buck needed to breathe a little better, he pulled off Tommy’s cock. One last spurt shot out of his cock and landed on Buck’s opened lips. Tommy reached out, and he brushed that off with his thumb before pushing the digit inside of Buck’s mouth.

“Lube up and slide inside of me. How do you want me?”

“Hmm, hands and knees.” Buck waited for Tommy to scoot back on the bed before he got to his knees on the bed.

Tommy got his pants off and tossed them off the side of the bed. He took his time rolling over and then getting his ass up in the air.

“How well did you…” Buck cupped Tommy’s cheeks, and then he spread them, getting a look at Tommy’s hole. He let go, and he pushed his pants down to where he could get his cock out for the next act. His pants were soaked at the front from where he had been worked up for as long as he had.

“Good enough for your cock but not early good enough for your lips or tongue.”

“Pity. I guess that will have to come later.” Buck waited for Tommy to hand back the lube, and then he slicked up his cock. He did get Tommy’s hole coated and used a finger to get some in the rim before he lined up the head. He started to push in carefully.

Outside of oral, Buck wasn’t sure that he could pick something that he could live without in his life. He wanted to have every single sex act in all positions for the rest of his life with Tommy.

“Not going to last long,” Buck said. He reached around and fingered Tommy’s cock. He touched him carefully and gently, making sure to tease him since it was still mostly soft. It felt so good. To feel the way that his cock was when he was featherlight touching it. When he was all the way inside, he stayed right like that, just pushing inside of Tommy, waiting for the moment that Tommy couldn’t take it anymore and trying to get him to do something.

It didn’t take long, but it wasn’t what Buck was expecting. He was used to Tommy pulling off a little and then pushing back, but no, Tommy went all the way down. He turned his head to look at Buck and gave him his best come-hither look. Buck moved up to drape himself over Tommy, carefully pushing back inside of him.

“I thought you wanted me to do what I wanted.”

“Well, you were a brat, and so I made the decision you’re going to have me like this.”

Buck got his fingers threaded through Tommy’s, and he started to rock in and out, just a subtle thrust before pulling back. The movement was enough to get him off, but nothing like the way that he had been planning on fucking him before. It was more than enough to make him go out of his mind with lust and want.

Unless Tommy turned his chest around a little, they couldn’t kiss like this, but Buck could breathe on Tommy’s neck, leaving wet evidence of what it was making him feel all over Tommy’s neck.

“How do you feel?”

“Good,” Buck said. He got his knees under him a little to get a better thrust in and out. “You?”

“Fucking good,” Tommy said.

Then it was just them, existing, and they made love, the feeling of being together pulling everything out of Buck that he felt for Tommy.

Buck came first, and it was the act of coming inside Tommy that tipped Tommy over that edge. Buck tried to stay up, but he was pulled down and gave up, trying not to push Tommy down onto the bed.

They were good where they were, for now, at least. He wasn’t sure how long he would last, but at least he was still inside of Tommy like this. There was a little bit of fun with the daddy stuff, but also, just doing what felt good was the kind of fun they had a lot of the time. Vanilla sex was normal between them, but there were times that he needed that little added layer that the daddy play gave him.

Buck felt his eyes starting to close and did not want to open. He slipped off of Tommy so that Tommy could move if he needed to without throwing Buck off him, but he stayed tucked like that, making Tommy the little spoon.

Tommy felt Evan falling asleep at his back, and he stayed like he was, feeling a little energized after their sexual encounter. He let his eyes close to rest a little, but he wasn’t going to get any more sleep. He had hoped that their sex would let him sleep more because he was tired as hell, but he just wasn’t sleepy. He hated times like this. Still, he stayed like he was, Evan’s soft and sticky cock pressing to his hip. They were an utter mess, but he didn’t care. There was nothing else that they needed to worry about, so he just let his body relax for the rest of the way. At least resting here like this was going to give him rest.

A while later, he had to pee. Tommy worked himself out from under Evan and headed to the bathroom. He cleaned himself up and found the evidence of what they had done smeared all over his stomach where it had got to. He would have to change the sheets before they slept that night, which was okay. They had a lot of sheets for a reason. He would have to figure out what was clean and what wasn’t because Evan had ideas about what should be in the bed, given his mood.

Evan was curled around Tommy’s pillow when Tommy got back into the bedroom. He was dead to the world and wasn’t going to move for hell or high water unless Tommy woke him up. They had sex on the blankets, so it was going to need to be cleaned up as well. Tommy grabbed his clothes and got them back on, looking for Evan’s shirt. He found that and tossed it toward the bed before opening the dresser where the socks were located. He found the socks that Tommy hated with a passion. Eddie had gotten them for Evan and sent them from Texas. They were a putrid array of colors that all clashed, and the socks weren’t even the same; the patterns and the way the socks were dyed meant they looked like two different socks. He picked them up and found that there was something under them. He picked up the bag, and the weight of it said it was pretty light. He didn’t open it, but he squeezed it in his hand lightly, finding with ease it was a ring. He thought about the one he had hidden behind his dryer sheets in the mud room.

Tommy laid the bag back down and then put the putrid socks back over them. He grabbed a second pair and headed to the bed, getting them on Evan’s feet because there was one thing he was not doing: getting back in bed where Evan would get those ice cold feet on him.

Evan huffed when Tommy took the pillow from him and made a cute humming noise when Tommy replaced the pillow with himself. Evan was still mostly naked, the shirt not going on until he was awake, and his ass still on display where he had pulled his pants down to get his cock out to fuck Tommy. He looked like a fucked out sex crazed guy, but Tommy knew that it was just that he felt safe there.

“How are you so perfect for me?” Tommy asked. He kissed Evan’s cheek before he settled in more in Evan’s arms, letting Evan’s love lull him toward something close to sleep.

His last thoughts were that he was looking forward to the day Evan finally got that ring out and allowed Tommy to wear it. Tommy would, of course, give Evan the ring he had made for him. They could custom make their wedding rings as well to make sure that they were perfect pairs.

The future would be wonderful, and Tommy was glad he had chosen love over fear.

The End

 

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