Reading Time: 104 Minutes
Title: Buck Begins
Series: Life, Love, and a New Way of Living
Series Order: 1
Author: Hourstillnoon
Fandom: 9-1-1
Genre: Angst, Contemporary, Drama, Family, Hurt/Comfort
Relationship(s): Evan “Buck” Buckley/Eddie Diaz
Content Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Hurt Evan Buckley, Amputee Evan Buckley, car crash, minor character death, domestic violence, character bashing, Car accident, abandonment, false accusations of murder, parent murdered in front of child (light description), self-deprecation, mentions of suicide, bullying, death threats, tsunami
Word Count: 50,570
Summary: Buck finds out Doug is abusing Maddie before he runs away in her Jeep. When he confronts Doug, it changes his life forever, turning the course of his life onto a different path. With this new path comes new difficulties. Can Buck accept the love his new family is willing to give?
Artist: Nightsong21133
Chapter One
“I am so sick and tired of how they treat me! It’s like I’m a child, or invisible or something! I get kicked out of college for being a stupid kid and that’s all they see! They lecture me for hours, and then yell at me for getting hurt, then ignore me for a week! I can’t do it anymore. I need to get out. I have to leave. I’m sorry, Maddie, but I can’t stay.” Evan rants, sitting in the passenger seat of his sisters Jeep.
“I know. I understand. I’m sorry it’s so bad. How about this. You take my Jeep, get out of Hershey, start a life of your own. Get out, leave it all behind, be free and live your life for you. It will get you away from our parents.” Maddie offers.
“I can’t accept that. You love your Jeep.”
“I do, but I love my baby brother more. Come on, Evan. I wouldn’t offer if I wasn’t sure.”
“Okay, fine, but come with me. We can go off together, go on adventures like we always dreamed.” Evan tries to convince Maddie.
“I… I can’t. I’ve got my job, and Doug, I can’t just pack up and leave.”
“Please? You can quit your job, find another one. And I know you and Doug are in a rough spot. Maybe distance will be good for you.”
“Evan…”
“Come on, Maddie. Come with me. We can run away together. Be together, like when we were kids.” Evan begs.
***
“Hey. Where’s Maddie?” Evan asks the nurse at reception.
“Here. She left this letter for you.” The nurse says, handing Evan a letter.
“Thanks. Is she here? Can I talk to her for a minute? I just need a minute. If she tells me to leave, I will. I promise.”
The nurse takes a moment. Pauses. Evan looks at him. “Please. I just need to say goodbye before I leave.”
“I… she’s…. follow me.”
“Thank you. I promise, I won’t be long.”
The nurse leads Evan back towards the emergency room, towards one of the closed curtains. He opens it, standing in front of Evan, blocking his view.
“I’m sorry, Maddie. I couldn’t let him leave without seeing you. He said if you wanted him to leave, he would leave, but he needed to see you.” The nurse says, stepping to the side, letting Evan see into the small space.
Maddie was there, in the bed. As a patient. Bruises littered her face, a cast on her wrist.
“Maddie! What happened?” Evan asks.
“N-nothing. I fell. It’s nothing.” Maddie replies, not looking at Evan.
“It’s not nothing, Maddie. You’re hurt! Did someone do this to you?” He asks, taking a closer look at his sisters bruises.
“N-no! What makes you think that? Doug would never hurt me!” Maddie shouts, panicked.
“Maddie… I didn’t say Doug did this… I swear, if he laid a hand on you, I will kill him.” Evan says, voice low in anger, before storming out of the hospital.
Evan drives. He drives for hours, thinking, coming up with a plan. He can’t go home, that stopped becoming an option the moment he took all his clothes, and all the money he had, not wanting to take any of the guilt money his parents always shove at him. Pulling up outside of a house, he doesn’t even think about getting out and slamming the door, before he’s knocking on Doug’s house. Not Maddie’s. It will never be Maddie’s, always Doug’s.
“Hey, buddie! Your sister isn’t here, she’s at work right now.” Doug tells Evan as he opens the door.
“I know where she is. I came to see you.” Evan states.
“Oh. Well, I have somewhere to be soon, so why don’t you stop by later, maybe see your sister when you do.”
“No, I don’t think I will. This can’t wait.” Evan tells him, shoving him back into the house. “Woah, Evan, buddy, what’s going on. Are you okay? Do I need to call the police?” Doug threatens.
“Yeah. Yeah I think you do, then I can tell them what an abusive asshole you are to Maddie!” Buck yells.
“Hold on, did she tell you that? Evan, I did not lay a hand on her. Come on, you know how she is. Always dramatic.” Doug brushes Evan off with a roll of his eyes, trying to walk out the door again.
“No. I came to that conclusion on my own, when I saw the bruises you left all over her face, and the cast on her wrist!”
“Oh come on, Evan. She’s accident prone. She had a bit of an accident, fell down the stairs. She’ll be okay.”
“No! You did this to her!”
“Okay. Okay.” Doug backs away, hands in the air, “if you won’t believe me, how about we go talk to Maddie. Get the truth from her. Come on, I’ll drive you to the hospital. We can settle this once we get there.”
“Yeah, we will. We’ll see who she sides with.” Evan states, stalking to Doug’s car and getting into the passenger seat.
Doug starts the car, pulling out of the drive, before making his way down the street.
“You know, Evan, I always thought you were smarter than this. You know how much I love your sister. I would never hurt her. And besides, she could never leave me. She loves me too much. I know about your offer. To take her away from me.”
“I wasn’t trying to take her from you. I know you’ve been having some problems, so I thought a little distance might help you two rekindle.”
“No! I know you want her for yourself! WE ARE PERFECT. We are so in love, and she would never leave me! You have to have spun lies about us, Evan. That’s the only way.” Doug yells, slamming his hands against the steering wheel as he accelerates the car.
“Doug. You’re going really fast. I think you should slow down a bit, before we get into an accident and hurt someone.”
“I WOULD NEVER HURT SOMEONE. Why can’t you understand that, Evan? I don’t hurt people. I help them. I helped your sister. She was broken when I met her. That’s what your parents did, they broke her, Evan. You can’t fix her, but I did!” Doug keeps accelerating, getting to dangerous speeds, pulling onto a highway.
“Doug… the hospital is in the other direction… Where are we going?”
“I’m going to teach you a lesson, Evan, about how you treat family.”
“It’s okay. I understand. You aren’t hurting Maddie. We can go home now. I’ll drop it, and I’ll leave.”
“It’s too late for that!” Doug enunciates each word with a slam of his fists against the steering wheel, spit flying from his mouth.
Evan flinches, sitting quietly as the car starts to swerve between traffic. Doug continues to rant at Evan, but he tunes the other man out. He watches as Doug speeds up, diving in and out of the lanes. There’s no longer anything he can do as Doug continues to drive. All he can do is sit quietly and wait for Doug to get where he intends to take Evan. Maybe he can fight him off and get help when he stops somewhere.
Evan hears a horn close by before the car suddenly stops. Glass rains down around him as he groans. Everything goes black as pain radiates through Evan’s leg.
***
Evan slowly comes to, feeling himself start to panic. He’s trapped. He can’t move. A horn is going off somewhere close by. Maybe in the same car he is in. Picking up his head, he glances at his surroundings. He’s in a car. Doug’s car. A truck is in front of him. He’s pinned to the dashboard. Doug is in the drivers seat. He looks to be unconscious. Blood is coming from his head. Maybe he hit his head. He doesn’t look to be pinned. Evan doubts that he would help him if the other man did wake up, but he has to try. Evan reaches over slowly, not able to move much without jarring his head or feeling the pain of his leg twinging where it’s stuck.
“Hey. Doug. Wake up. You have to wake up. Come on, wake up.” Evan shakes his shoulder slightly, as much as he can with his limited movement. Doug doesn’t move.
The scream of sirens reaches his ears as Evan gives up. Doug must have hit his head pretty hard. He doesn’t even twitch, showing no signs of waking up. A fire truck, a police car, and an ambulance arrive on scene. The firefighters run up to Doug’s car. Evan fades briefly, as a firefighter reaches him.
“Hey, kid, you gotta stay awake for me. What’s your name?”
“Evan.” He slurs.
“Okay, Evan, what’s your friend’s name there?”
“Not a friend. Brother-in-law.”
“Okay. What’s your brother-in-law’s name?”
“Doug.”
Evan watches as a paramedic puts his fingers to Doug’s pulse. Shaking his head slightly, the paramedic moves away from him, walking to Evan’s side of the car.
“Is he okay?” Evan asks the paramedic as he approaches.
“My friend here will look after Doug for us, but for now I want to make sure you’re okay.” The paramedic responds. “Now, when I shine this light in your eye, I want you to follow it with your eyes only. Can you do that for me Evan?”
He nods in response.
“Try not to move your head. We haven’t been able to put a neck brace on you yet. I will get that on you in a moment.” The paramedic instructs, as he reaches back for a neck brace.
It’s placed on Evan, before a light shines in his eyes.
“I suspect a concussion. You’ll be okay. Can you move your legs at all?”
“No. Leg’s stuck. Can’t get out.”
“Okay. I’ll get my friend here to get you out. He’s coming now with our jaws of life.” The firefighter reaches them, jamming the jaws into the door. “We’re going to cover you with this blanket, then there will be a loud noise. Once you are out, we will get you on a backboard, then get you into the ambulance.”
Evan is covered with a blanket, before a loud noise pierces his ears. He screams, as the door comes off, releasing some of the pressure on his leg.
“It looks like a crush injury. Left leg looks worse than the right. It appears as if the dashboard pinned his leg down. We need to get this kid out of here and to a hospital.” Evan hears as he passes out again.
***
Evan wakes up alone. His head is aching and he’s in a hospital bed. His mouth feels like paper, and his throat feels as if someone shoved sandpaper down it. A nurse pops into his room.
“Oh good, you’re awake. I’ll grab the doctor.” She says, disappearing from his room.
She comes back and checks over his vitals, and fiddles with the bag attached to his IV.
“I know you’re probably curious what’s going on with you, but the doctor will explain everything in a moment. He’ll be right in.” The nurse informs, laying a comforting hand on Evan’s arm.
The nurse puts a straw up to his lips, encouraging him to drink. Evan does. She leaves shortly after.
A few moments later, a doctor comes into Evan’s room.
“Hi Mr. Buckley. I am Dr. Faost. How are you feeling?”
“Evan, please. My head hurts. My throat still feels a little scratchy. My leg aches a bit.”
“Okay. We can get you some pain meds to help with that. What do you remember about your trip here?” Dr. Faost asks.
Evan takes a moment to think. “Not much. I remember waking up and being pinned. Doug was passed out beside me. A fire truck and an ambulance showed up shortly after. How’s Doug? They got me out first.”
“I’m sorry to say, but your brother-in-law died before the paramedics could get there. We suspect he died on impact, or shortly after. He didn’t suffer.”
“Maddie. How’s my sister doing?”
“I will get her in a moment. First, I’d like to talk to you about your condition.” Dr. Faost replies.
“My… condition?” Evan asks.
“Yes. You were in a medically induced coma for three days. Evan, your leg was pretty badly hurt. It was crushed for a long time, by the time they were able to get you out. In that time, necrosis has started to set into it, and we would like your permission to amputate just above the left knee. I know this is a lot to take in, but seeing as you are over 18, we would need your permission before performing such an extravagant procedure. I can give you some time to think it over, but we need to know by the end of the day.” Dr. Faost explains.
He continues to talk, explaining the risks behind the surgery, as well as recovery time, what help he will need, and the risks of not getting the surgery at all.
“I’ll leave you with these, they explain everything I just told you, as well as a permission form, or a form to reject the surgery against medical advice.” Dr. Faost explains, setting the forms, on a clipboard with a pen attached, on his table in his reach.
“Can you get my sister, Maddie? I’d like to see her.” Evan asks, as the doctor goes to leave.
“I’ll see what I can do.”
***
It’s an hour later when Maddie finally walks into his room. He’s napped since then, but hasn’t looked at the forms yet. He’s hoping Maddie will help him make a decision here.
“Maddie… They’re talking about having to amputate my leg.” Evan says brokenly upon seeing his sister.
“I don’t care.” Maddie replies coldly.
“What?” Evan asks, shocked.
“I don’t care, Evan. How could you possibly think I’d care about ANY of your injuries after you killed my husband?!” Maddie shouts, angrily.
“I didn’t… Maddie. I didn’t kill him. He- he was driving recklessly. Swerving in and out of traffic, speeding. He crashed the car, not me.”
“Well, you left the hospital threatening to kill him, what else am I supposed to think when you show up back here and he’s dead?!”
“No, Maddie, I didn’t kill him! We were supposed to be coming back here to talk to you, but he got angry! He was going to take my somewhere else! I swear I didn’t kill him! It wasn’t my fault!”
“Oh, come on, you did something or said something to piss him off. That’s how it is with Doug. He doesn’t react like that unless someone pissed him off. It’s your fault.”
“No. Maddie. His reactions are his fault, not mine, and not yours.”
“NO. Stop it! I don’t want to hear your excuses. It is your fault!” Maddie cries.
“Maddie…” Evan tries to sit up, but groans back into his pillow as soon as he tries.
“No. You killed Daniel, just like you killed Doug. I should have known how useless you were from the moment you couldn’t save my little brother.”
“What? Daniel? Who’s Daniel? I haven’t killed anyone.”
“Yes. You did. You killed Doug, and you killed my brother. You were supposed to save him, but your useless bone marrow killed him instead. It caused an infection, and he died. You are useless. You couldn’t even do what you were born to do. I hate you for it, and I hate you for killing Doug. I never want to see you again. You aren’t my family. All you do is hurt my family.” Maddie’s voice rises as she speaks, yelling the last sentence at Evan.
“Okay. Since he’s not your family, you can leave.” A nurse responds, shocking both Evan and Maddie, who hadn’t heard her enter.
“I’m not done.” Maddie replies.
“Yes you are. You’ve caused my patient enough distress. Leave before I call security.”
“I work here, you can’t kick me out.”
“Yes I can. You don’t work in this ward, and you’re distressing my patient. Leave or I will call security on you, Maddie.”
“Fine. I want my Jeep back. Where are the keys?” Maddie directs the last part at Evan.
“You can have it. The keys are with my stuff. The front desk should be able to give them to you.” Evan replies, looking away. He refuses to wipe the tears from his face until she’s gone. She doesn’t need to see how bad she’s hurt him.
With that, Maddie leaves, being escorted by the nurse. A few moments later, the nurse comes back.
“Hi. Is it alright if I come in?” The nurse asks gently.
Evan nods, trying not to cry.
“I heard the end of your sister’s speech there. I’m sorry that’s how she’s treating you right now. I’m Mary, by the way.”
“E-evan.” He replies, trying to not let his words break, but failing.
“Hi Evan. I’m going to come sit beside you. Is that alright?” Evan nods at Mary’s question.
“Did… did I kill him?” Evan asks, unsure of himself.
“No. You did not kill that man. He was driving recklessly. He very well could have killed you, too. I’m glad he didn’t.”
“Okay. Did Maddie get her keys back?”
“Yes. I gave her the keys. And brought you your stuff. Unfortunately, the phone is smashed. The clothes are also bloody, so I’m not sure you want those. Oh, and Maddie mentioned she would drop off your bag at the front desk when she comes in for her shift tomorrow.”
“Let me guess. Giving it to me is better than throwing it out.”
“No. She said she wanted you to have all of your stuff so you can leave when you are released, instead of coming by to grab it.” Mary says with sympathy.
“Yeah. That makes sense.”
Mary just nods.
“Why does she hate me? Am I really that bad of a person that anyone who interacts with me hates me?” Evan asks weakly.
“No. I don’t hate you and I’ve interacted with you.”
“You barely know me. Plus, you’re my nurse. You have to say that.”
“I actually don’t. I just have to make sure you’re comfortable and in as little pain as I can.”
“Oh. Well, you still barely know me.”
“I know you are a person, which means you deserve love. No one under the sun deserves to not be loved. And as for the situation with Maddie, you definitely don’t deserve hate for that. She’s just processing everything. I’d say she’ll come around, but I cannot guarantee that.”
“I know. After what she said to me, I don’t want to see her for a while. I need time. She was too mean.”
“I understand. I’ll make sure she can’t come by and see you.”
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome, dear. Now, is there anything else you need?”
Evan nods. “Can you help me figure out this? I was gonna ask Maddie, but that’s not an option anymore…” He holds up the clipboard the doctor left earlier in the day.
“Yeah. I can do that!”
They spend an hour going over everything. By the time they’re done, Evan understands everything going on with him better. He signs the forms to get the amputation and Mary calls Dr. Faost back in.
“I see you’ve decided to get the surgery. That’s good to hear. We have you booked in for tomorrow morning, we figured we’d book you in, then if you decided not to get the surgery, we would cancel the surgery. You will need to fast overnight tonight, and someone will be by in the morning to prep you.” Dr. Faost informs, after he’s had a moment to look over Evan’s forms.
***
“I know that he did it on purpose. He has always been reckless, and doesn’t care that his actions have consequences. All he does is hurt us, Phillip. We need to put a stop to it.” Evan hears his mother’s voice as he wakes up a couple days after his surgery.
“Margaret, I don’t know that this is the best option. There has to be a better way.”
“No. There’s no better way. Look, he’s waking up. Talk to him.”
“Hello, Evan.” Phillip greets, seeing Evan’s eyes open.
Evan just nods, not wanting to speak yet.
“Evan. We cannot keep dealing with you injuring yourself and others. This time, your recklessness has gotten somebody killed. We had a talk with Maddie about that. We understand you didn’t mean to hurt anyone, but you need to apologize to Maddie.” Phillip lectures.
“I didn’t kill anyone. Doug was driving recklessly, not me. It wasn’t my fault. I’m not going to apologize to her.” Evan hates how raspy his voice comes out when he speaks.
“If that’s what you have convinced yourself, fine. But you will lose Maddie if you don’t apologize.”
“Is that all you care about? Your precious daughter? You don’t care that I had to have an amputation because her husband decided to drive recklessly, nearly killing me, and killing himself?!” Evan shouts, voice cracking as he does.
“Evan. Of course we care that you were hurt. But come on, this accident was your fault. You did something to anger him. He wouldn’t have driven like that without a reason.” Margaret spouts the same words Maddie had to him.
Evan just glares, refusing to respond to that, throat still sore from his last outburst.
“Okay. Lets move on. We have something else to discuss. Phillip?” Margaret changes the subject.
“What now?” Evan snarks.
“Don’t give me that attitude.”
“Okay. That’s enough. Both of you. Now, Evan. Me and your mother have come to a decision. Once you are released from the hospital, you will have to move out. We know you were planning on doing so anyways, but we cannot keep supporting you when you keep hurting yourself like this. It’s too hard for us.”
“Oh, what, I’m not the son you wanted, so you just drop me the first chance you get?! Is that what this is? I’m too hard for you? Have you ever thought about how hard it is for me? I never got your attention growing up, unless I was hurt. Then, as I got older, you wouldn’t even step foot inside the hospital with me. You’d just drop me at the doors, and tell me to call you when I was done. This is the first time you’ve come to see me in the hospital since I was twelve. Who the fuck does that?!” He gets through the last sentence, ending it with a cough.
“Language, Evan!” Margaret scolds.
“I understand you’re upset, but it has been hard on us.”
“Maybe if you’d actually showed me some attention and affection, I wouldn’t have ended up in the hospital.”
“Evan. You were so hard to deal with. What were we supposed to do?!” Margaret exclaims.
“Love me anyways!” Evan screams, voice cracking.
“Margaret. Let’s just get through this and go.”
“Oh, great. What else is there? You’re already abandoning me to recover from a major injury alone.”
“We have set up an account for you. We paid off this hospital visit, and we have left an account for you with $200,000 to get yourself on your feet after this. We have also talked to your medical staff and have bought you a wheelchair and crutches. Once all your money runs out, don’t come running back for more.” Phillip tells Evan.
“Oh, fuck off. I don’t want your guilt money. You don’t want to have to deal with me, so you’re throwing money at a problem until it solves itself. Well, I don’t want it. Take your money and shove it up your ass.” Evan has to try hard to make sure his voice is loud enough, breaking from the yelling and lack of water after a major surgery.
“Evan. That’s enough. We will leave the card, and information here,” Phillip scolds, setting down a folder by his bedside, “if you change your mind about apologizing to Maddie, you know how to reach her. Let’s go, Margaret.”
Evan lets himself break down as soon as his parents leave. His sobs wrack his whole body, shaking his bed. Mary pops her head in, clearly hearing his distress.
“Sweetheart, what’s wrong?” The older nurse asks.
“T-they don-n’t want me.” Evan sobs out.
“Who doesn’t want you?”
“M-my par-rents.”
“Oh, sweetheart. If your parents don’t want you, that’s on them, not on you.” Mary comforts, coming closer and putting her arm around him. “It’ll be okay. We’ll figure out some rehab programs that have funding for you, so you can recover without worrying about money.”
That makes Evan sob harder.
“They-they gave me money. Th-they thre-ew money a-at me to m-make me go aw-ay.”
“Oh, honey. We’ll make sure to set you up good, so you can have a good life without them. I’ll help you find a good rehab center wherever you’d like.”
“Not Pennsylvania. Anywhere but here.”
“Okay. I can do that.”
***
It takes two days before Mary comes back with a thick stack of papers.
“I’m sorry it took so long, I got a list of the best facilities that would be able to care for you, that have available beds right now. We can go over everything, then you can make a decision on where you want to go and I can get you into the rehab center.”
Evan sits up in bed, allowing Mary to scoot his tray table in front of him, placing the stack on the table. They go over the many facilities across the country. They range from Austin, Montana, Miami, DC, New York, Chicago, Boston, San Francisco, Atlanta, Phoenix, Orlando, and finally, Los Angeles. Each one had different amenities for the people staying there. Evan went over each center, making sure to eliminate ones he couldn’t see himself staying in.
A big consideration for him is would he be able to live where he ended up? He probably wouldn’t be able to afford to move after he was healed, so wherever he ended up, he better make sure that he was happy with it. Evan narrowed his options down to three. Los Angeles, Austin, and Montana. They were the cheapest options, and were places he could himself settling down after his recovery, where he could find a job, live his life.
Evan takes a day to consider the three options. Eventually, he lands on Los Angeles. They had a good center, where he would have his own room and bathroom, as well as doctors and nurses on site to help. There was also recreational areas and an outdoor garden, if he so felt it was needed. After he told Mary his decision, she went to grab an application for Evan to fill out before leaving to make some calls to the center to reserve his spot while he filled out his paperwork.
Taking his time, Evan filled out the paperwork. Luckily, his parents had stopped by to drop off the bag he had packed in the back of Maddie’s Jeep, so he had everything he would need to leave. He had all his clothes, as well as all his important papers. He wouldn’t need to rely on anyone in his family after this. Maddie had the keys to her Jeep back, thanks to Mary, and Evan had a new start. No phone, and nothing but his clothes and papers, but he had a way to make a fresh start for himself.
Feeling good about his decision, Evan finished the paperwork, calling for Mary to fax it for him. By the end of the day, he had confirmation from the center that he would be admitted in two weeks. Now to try to find a way to LA, that wasn’t by plane. There was no way he’d be able to handle a plane ride, nor could he afford one.
“I have an idea on how to get you to LA.” Mary came to him one day, a couple days after his acceptance.
“Oh?”
“We have a medical van that’s meant to transport patients. It’s not booked for the three days before you have to be at the center, nor is it booked for that time we’d need it. I’ve been given permission to book it, and take you to the center in LA. There’s someone in LA who needs transport by vehicle here, so it would work out well. We can do a swap, of sorts. You for the other patient. It gets you where you’re going, free of charge, and then you don’t have to worry about your way here.” Mary explains.
“Wow. That’s perfect. Thank you for being so helpful.”
“No problem. You have been through enough, without trying to deal with all this on your own.”
“Thank you.”
***
Almost two weeks later, Evan was sitting in his room. It’s not like there was much else for him to do. Mary comes in for her usual visit.
“I’m starting to think you don’t have any other patients. You’re the only nurse that comes in to talk to me like this, you know.”
“I have other patients. You’re just my favourite. Don’t tell the others.”
“I won’t. I promise. So, I want your help with something.”
“What can I help with?” Mary asks.
“I don’t want to use Evan anymore. I don’t like it, and my parents only ever said it with disdain anyways. I want help choosing a nickname for myself.”
“Okay. Anything?”
“Within reason. I’d rather not have a nickname that relates to my leg at all.”
“Okay. Hmmm…. What about Ev?”
“No. Too close to Evan.”
“Were there any nicknames you went by as a kid?”
“No, not really. I didn’t have a whole lot of close friends growing up.”
“I had a few kids growing up that had the same name. They usually just went by either a shortened version of their first name, their middle name, or last name. What’s your middle name?”
“My parents never gave me one.”
“Okay. I assume your last name is out.”
“Yeah. Going by Buckley isn’t really something I want to do.”
“Hmmm… Maybe not Buckley, but what about Buck. It’s a shortened version of your last name, plus a male deer. Whichever way you prefer to look at it.”
“Yeah. I think I like that. Buck. It has its own meaning, without having too much of a connection to my past. Thanks, Mary.”
“You’re welcome, Buck.”
The two sit together, talking about Mary’s kids, and how her days off went. Eventually, though, she does have to get back to work.
“Before I get back to work, I have something for you. Me and a couple nurses got together and bought it. There will be no arguments. We wanted to, plus you need something to do while you’re in LA.” Mary tells him, as she hands him a box he didn’t notice before.
Evan opens it, finding a Kobo inside.
“I know you like to read, and there are a few of the books you mentioned wanting to read on there. It has wifi capability, so you can download books right onto the device itself when you run out. We leave tomorrow, so I figured this would give you enough time to load some books onto it that you want for the trip if you don’t want to read what we have on there, plus make sure it’s charged for the road. It’ll be a long three days travel, with a few stops in between.”
Evan tears up, looking up at Mary. “Thank you. I appreciate everything you’ve done for me over my stay here. I can’t thank you enough. You’ve become a valuable friend to me, so thank you.”
***
Three days, and forty hours in the medical van later, and the newly named Buck arrived at the center. From the outside, it looked nice. There was a big front yard, as well as a driveway for vehicles, and a parking lot for visitors along the right side of the building. The front yard had benches, as well as a garden that wrapped around the left side of the property, looking to stretch on for a while into the back.
The building itself was nice enough. It seemed to have plenty of windows, and appeared to be all one level. That would make the most sense, as it’s a medical rehabilitation center. Mary helped Buck out of the van, getting him set up in his wheelchair to enter the building. She carried his bag, as well as his crutches behind him as he wheeled himself up to the front door.
Upon entering, Buck sees a man waiting for him.
“Hi. You must be Evan Buckley. My name is Duke. I’m the receptionist here, and I will be showing you to your room, and giving you a tour of the center, as well as introducing you to some staff that’s here right now.” Duke introduces.
“Yeah. I prefer to go by Buck, actually.” He answers.
“Okay, Buck. I’ll make sure that is known, and we will change your room tag to reflect that. Is your friend going to join us?”
Buck looks to Mary.
“I’ll join for the tour, then drop your stuff off. I don’t have to be at the hospital until 1 anyways to pick up the patient I’m transporting.”
“Okay, follow me this way.” Duke instructs.
They follow Duke as he shows them around the center. First, he shows them the recreation room, a room filled with couches and chairs, people of all ages sitting at them. Then, the dining area. He explains that breakfast is between 6am-8am, lunch between 11am and 1pm, and supper between 4pm and 6pm, and a snack served either in the rec room, or their own room at 8pm. They have meal cards they will fill out at the beginning of each week on what they will eat, and any medications that he needs will be doled out throughout the day.
Duke shows them the physical therapy center, a small attached building to the center, where they have three rooms, and three therapists that will help each person with their needs. Buck has been assigned to the 11am slot on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, with Dr. Spencer, who is a tough-looking woman who will take no shit. Buck should be in for a hard ride when it comes time for him to start PT in two days.
Along the way, Buck meets a few nurses they have on staff currently. One such nurse is Carla Price.
“She is a full-time Monday-Friday nurse here. She will be a friendly face in the wing you are staying in. She will be able to help you around when you need, as well as will dole out your medications. The night nurse you will meet tonight, and the weekend nurse in your wing you will meet over the weekend. Each wing has their own nurse dedicated to the wing, and each wing has its own relaxation room/bedroom for those nurses to take breaks in. Only enter that room if the nurse gives you permission. Wouldn’t want to violate their privacy.” Duke informs.
Finally, they get to Buck’s room. It’s spacious enough, with a comfy looking chair in the corner, a hospital bed that lifts up, but looks a little comfier than the one at his previous hospital. Along the opposite wall from the bed is a dresser, with a TV on top of it. Beside the bed is a nightstand to one side, and along the other is a food tray that fits over the bed. A window sits along the same wall as the chair. A door leading to a bathroom is on the same wall as the dresser. The bathroom has a sink that will fit his wheelchair underneath, as well as a walk-in shower, with a shower chair, and railings to help support himself.
“Well, this is where we say goodbye. Take care of yourself. I hope to never have to see you back in Hershey hospital again.” Mary says, giving Buck a hug after she puts his stuff down on the dresser.
“Thank you again, for everything you’ve done for me. Now it’s time to start my new journey.”
Chapter Two
For the first week, all Buck did was lay in bed and go to physical therapy. The tv stayed on for background noise, but he had all his food delivered to him, and he didn’t spend any time with any of the other residents. When the church group came for their weekly visit on Sunday afternoon, Buck closed his door and hid from the world. He refused to go to therapy, and wouldn’t allow himself to be wheeled around the garden by his nurse, Carla Price. She tried everything that first week to get him to do something outside of hiding in his room.
“I’m coming in, and we’re going to play cards. You don’t have to like it, but you will participate.” Carla came in, holding a deck of cards and Buck’s daily meds in her hands.
“Fine.”
Carla gives Buck his meds, grabbing his tray table and setting up some cards.
“What are we playing?”
“Go fish. If you want to suggest something else after, we can play that instead. But, unless another resident needs me in this wing, I am yours for the next hour.”
“Okay.” Buck replies, picking up his hand.
“Now, tell me, I know you came from Pennsylvania. What made you decide on LA?”
“I, uh… I needed to get away from my family. This seemed like a good place to start over. They disowned me after blaming me for the accident. I was the passenger.”
“Oh. Well, if they’re going to be like that, you don’t need them.”
“Do you have any family in the area?”
“Yes. I have my husband, Howard, at home. My parents both live in San Diego, they retired there.”
“Do you have any kids?”
“No. It’s just me and Howard. We decided early on that we wouldn’t have kids. My job as a nurse takes up a lot of time, and he owns his own mechanic shop, which is his baby. We get by fine just the two of us.”
The two continue to talk as they play, switching games after each one was finished. When the hour was up, Buck found himself missing her company. Talking to Carla was an easy way to forget his own problems and feel wanted. Mary had the same effect on him. It just made him miss his old nurse, and wish Carla had been able to stick around a little longer.
***
Buck couldn’t bring himself to go out to the recreation area, or the dining area that night for supper still. He couldn’t bare anyone looking at him like his parents did. He couldn’t face the disappointment that he would see once anyone truly got to know him. It was inevitable. Maddie had looked at him like that, and she used to love him. Eventually, Buck would end up pushing away anyone who got to know him properly. He couldn’t bear to feel that disappointment again. Not here, where he was recovering.
He would rather wallow alone and be lonely than have to face the hurt that someone else rejecting him that way would feel. He has felt that pain since he was a kid. His parents never loved him, and now he knows why. He failed to save the son his parents actually loved. The brother Maddie actually loved. He knows she tried when he was growing up to make him feel loved, but once he became an adult, she dropped him just like his parents did. Everyone would leave him eventually. They would realize how bad of a person he was, and would leave, just like Maddie had.
He deserved to sit in this room alone.
***
Carla came by every weekday to keep him company for an hour. Each day, she would talk to him about her evening the night before. She would tell him what Howard had made for supper, what his day was like, and what movie or show they were into at the moment. Buck told her about the movies and TV shows he’d seen since coming here. He hadn’t really watched anything when he was a kid, preferring to go outside where he wouldn’t notice his parents ignoring him as much.
Carla tried every day to get him to go out to the rec room, or at least spend his meals out in the dining area, even if he sat at a table by himself. It never worked.
One day, Carla walked in with a man following her.
“I brought him to you, since you won’t go to him. This is Dr. Finch. He’s our therapist we have on site. I know you probably don’t want to talk to him right now, but he’s going to join our games from now on. You can get to know him, and he can get to know you.”
“I don’t want to talk to him.”
“That’s fine. We can just play cards and talk. You don’t need to talk back, or even do therapy. This can just be a friendly game of cards.” Dr. Finch tells Buck.
“Fine.”
Carla and Dr. Finch make small talk about their families as Buck sits there. He doesn’t join into the conversations with them, but does play cards. After the hour is up, they both leave, telling him that they’ll see him the next day.
***
True to their word, at the usual time every day, they both show up in Buck’s room. It takes a week of them both showing up for Buck to start talking again. It started slow, just him talking about any movies or shows he’d seen recently, then contributing to their conversations about his family. He was always careful what he revealed around Dr. Finch about his own family.
“Buck. What about your family? I noticed no one comes to visit you.” Dr. Finch asks one day later that week.
Carla elbows Dr. Finch in the side after the blunt question.
“No. I came to LA to get away from my family. They don’t know where I am.”
“Is there a reason you don’t want them to know where you are?”
“Yes.”
“Do you want to share?”
“Look, I didn’t invite you here. You came here. I know you want me to talk to you and do therapy, but I don’t need it. I am fine.”
“Buck. It’s okay to not be okay. It’s okay to admit you need help. Therapy isn’t something to be embarrassed about needing. It’s normal, and something everyone should go through.” Dr. Finch tells Buck.
“I’ve done therapy. As a nurse, it’s something I got into early on to cope with the job.” Carla admits.
“I see every patient who comes through those doors. Some are more reluctant than others, but I can help cope with the injuries that bring people in here, as well as other issues they may face in their lives outside of here. Even if you just talk about your injury, and don’t talk about anything else, it would be a good idea.”
“Yeah. Okay. I’ll go to therapy. But don’t expect it to change much.”
“Okay, great. How about I get you in on Thursdays at 11? Just once a week.”
“Yeah. Okay. Will you still come every day and play cards with us?” Buck asks.
“Only if you’re comfortable. You can tell me any time that you’d rather I not join.”
“I think it would be okay if you still joined.”
“Okay. Then I will.”
***
That Thursday, Buck wheeled himself into Dr. Finch’s office.
“Hi, Buck. It’s good to see you. I’m glad you showed up.”
“Thanks.”
“So, lets start with how you got your injury.”
“You can call it an amputation. I’m okay with you being honest about the injury. It doesn’t bother me.”
“Okay. I’ll use that language going forward.”
“I got it in a car accident. I was in the car with my sister’s husband. He was DOA.”
“I see. What caused you to be in the car with him?”
“I found out that he had been abusing my sister. I went to confront him. He decided to bring me to the hospital so we could talk to my sister about it.”
“Okay. What caused the car to crash.”
“Doug was driving erratically. He was speeding and going in and out of the lanes. He was angry because of my accusation. I tried to deescalate the situation, but it didn’t work.”
“Okay. Do you blame yourself for Doug dying?”
“No. My family does, though.”
“Okay. Why do you think they blame you?”
“They told me as much. Maddie thinks that I angered him, which makes it my fault he was driving the way he was. My parents believed Maddie.”
“Do you think that’s what Doug had convinced Maddie of, while she was with him? That the abuse was her fault, because she angered him?”
“I do.”
“Okay. If Maddie contacted you down the road, would you be willing to forgive her for blaming you?”
“Maybe. But I wouldn’t be able to trust her again. She said some pretty mean things to me that day.”
“Like what?”
Buck spends the rest of the hour talking about his confrontation with Maddie and with his parents. Dr. Finch lets him avoid talking about his feelings about Daniel. He has enough to talk about with his parents and sister, and the way they went about confronting him.
After the session, Buck hid in his room. Talking about his estranged family again after a month hurt, and he needed time alone to just feel bad about it all. That became a tradition after each weekly session. He would deal with his family, then hide away in his room. He was getting better at talking about them. He was starting to work through how unfair it was, them blaming him for Doug’s death and cutting him off the way they did. He understood that it was truly their problem, and not his. Maddie was traumatized by Doug’s abuse and sudden death, sure, but that didn’t justify the way she treated him while he was recovering in the hospital.
On the fourth session, Buck knew he would be hiding after it, judging from the way Dr. Finch opens the session.
“So. Why have you been isolating yourself? You haven’t left your room, aside from your therapies.”
“I don’t want to be rejected the way my family has rejected me. Eventually, everyone I love finds out how difficult I am to love, and leaves me. What’s so different about the people here?” Buck tells the doctor.
“I understand how you got to that conclusion, but can you tell me what makes you think the people here would be the same? You don’t know them.”
“It doesn’t matter who they are. They will eventually leave me. Maddie did. She loved me. My parents did, but I can’t say I’m surprised. They never truly loved me anyways.”
“Well, both me and Carla like you. We play cards with you every day that we’re here.”
“You’ll only be around until I’m released. You won’t keep in contact. I’m a job to you.”
“Okay. I don’t usually do this, but in this case I think you need to hear it. I have never seen Carla act like she does with you, with another patient. She sought you out, to get to know you. To bring you out of your shell. She came up to me to get my help with that. She wouldn’t have done that if she didn’t like you. If you asked, once you’re released, I’m sure she would love to keep in contact with you.”
“I don’t have a phone. It got destroyed in the accident and I didn’t bother to get it replaced. I had no one to keep in contact with, anyways.”
“Okay. So, whenever you get released, get her phone number, and then get a new phone. Then, you can keep in contact with her.”
“Maybe.”
“Are you comfortable talking more about your childhood with me?”
“I guess. As young as five years old, I knew that my parents didn’t love me like other parents did. Other parents would send their kid in with homemade lunches and walk them to the door for drop off, and pick them up at the door. My parents bought premade lunches, and would drop me at the curb, not even wishing me a good day, or telling me they loved me. Maddie did every day. She was the only one who loved me.”
“What’s a memory you have where your parents treated you like that, and Maddie took care of you?”
“Me and Maddie were playing outside. She had found a bike in the garage. She was teaching me to ride. At some point, I ended up scraping my knee. This is when my parents got home. Dad ran to me, alongside Maddie. He picked me up as Maddie wiped my tears. Together, they cleaned my scrapes. Mom got mad about the bike, asking where we found it. As soon as dad saw her reaction, he immediately went to comfort her, forgetting all about me. I think that was the first time I associated getting hurt with attention.”
“What do you think that association had done for your childhood?”
“I think it made me more reckless with myself. Since my parents only cared when I was hurt, I wouldn’t try to stop myself from being hurt. I wouldn’t actively try to get hurt, but I wouldn’t stop it, either.”
“Okay. I think that’s a good place to stop for today.”
“Okay. See you tomorrow for cards.”
Dr. Finch nods at him.
“Oh, Buck, before you go, I have some homework for you. I would like you to spend time in the garden. You can go alone, but I want you to start getting out of your room more.”
“Okay.” Buck responds, only slightly hesitating at the thought.
***
Buck decides that Saturday is a good day to spend an hour in the garden. It’s a nice, sunny day. The other residents leave him alone. He spends an hour out there, but on Monday, after lunch, Buck takes his kobo out with him, setting himself up in the garden to spend the afternoon reading. He does, only going back to his room to eat supper. Buck then spends at least an hour in the garden every day.
After Thursday’s session, Dr. Finch makes another request. He asks Buck to eat at least one meal a day in the dining room, instead of in his room. Buck agrees, thinking it won’t be too hard. He just needs to find a table and eat alone.
It didn’t seem too hard to eat alone, until he got to the dining room. It seemed like people were determined to get to know him, the shut-in who decided to finally come out of hiding after a month and a half at the center. By the time lunch had finished, it felt like he had met everyone at the center. Either they came by to introduce themselves before moving on to a different table, or they sat and ate with him. While Buck didn’t necessarily like all the attention, he knew if he continued to go to the dining area for meals, he would slowly become less interesting to the other residents.
With this decision made, Buck vowed to eat every meal in the dining room. Over the week, he learned that closer to the end of the meal time is when it was less busy, so he started going then when he didn’t want to be surrounded by people. Over the week, it became a good routine, slowly bringing him out of his room more and more. By the end of his next session, Buck wasn’t surprised when the doctor had another request for him.
“I wanted to start off this session by asking you, how is your physical therapy going?”
“It’s going alright. It’s slow going, stretching out my stump. They have a practice prosthetic there for sizing. Dr. Spencer said she would give me some options tomorrow when I went in for different prosthetics I can get, well within my budget.”
“How do you feel about starting to use a prosthetic? That’s a good step in getting out of here.”
“I feel excited but also scared. The thought of wearing one in public where people would stare scares me. I also still have some balance issues with crutches, which is what we have been working on, that I’m nervous about how it will go, having to learn to balance with a new limb, instead of just on crutches.”
“How do you think you’ve changed and where do you think you’ve grown when it comes to your physical therapy?”
“I have definitely learned to be less grumpy and take out my pain and frustration on Dr. Spencer. I have gained decent balance with my crutches, but not enough that I’d feel confident in using them for lengthy periods of time. I am slowly learning to listen to my body when it comes to my pain and what I can handle with my physical therapy.”
“Do you think you’ll ever be able to go out, either in your wheelchair, on your crutches, or, eventually, with a prosthetic, for a full day?”
“Right now I can’t see myself doing that. I can’t imagine being comfortable enough to go out for a few hours, let alone a full day. Eventually, though… Who knows what the future holds?”
“Have you given any thought to what you’ll do when you’re well enough to leave here?”
“I have no idea. I know I will need to find somewhere to live that has accommodations. No stairs, a walk in shower with rails. I have no idea what I can do for work, or where will want to hire a disabled college dropout.”
“When it comes closer, both me and Carla can help you hunt for a place to live, and figure out what to do for work.”
“Okay.”
“Now, the end of the session is getting close. I want to make one more request of you. After this, everything you do in your spare time is yours to choose.”
“Okay, doc, what is it?”
“A church group visits every Sunday afternoon. They spend the afternoon here, some even staying into supper if they are having a good enough time. I would like you to go, just for an hour. Talk to at least one person from the group. Doesn’t matter who, or for how long.”
Buck hesitates for a moment too long.
“Just think about it.”
“Okay. I think I can do that.” Buck thinks to himself once he’s left, as long as I don’t let anyone get close to me, I’ll be fine.
Chapter Three
That Sunday, after lunch, Buck found himself sitting in one of the armchairs in the recreation room, where the church patrons would be visiting. Buck noticed that a lot of the residents were already in the rec room, waiting for people to show up. Once they started to fill in, Buck sat back and watched everyone go to different residents.
Buck felt a tug on the sleeve of the shirt he was wearing. He looked to the side to see a girl.
“What’s your name? My name’s May. I’m eight, almost nine.”
“Buck. Nice to meet you, May.”
“That’s a funny name.”
“It is.”
“Are you new here? I don’t remember seeing you here before. Me, dad, and Harry come here every weekend. Mom comes here when she can, but sometimes, she’s working.”
“I am kinda new here. This is my first time going to this, but I’ve been here almost two months now.”
“Wow. That’s a long time.”
“It feels like it, yeah.”
“How often do your mom and dad come visit you?”
“Uh… They don’t. They haven’t been to visit me since I left the hospital.” Buck answers, refusing to look at May as he does.
“Oh. Well, they must not be very good parents, then. I know if I were in the hospital, mom and dad would visit me EVERY day.”
“They must be REALLY good parents, then, huh.”
“They are. They help me whenever I need it, I love them a lot.”
“May! There you are!” A woman exclaims, walking up to May and Buck with a smile on her face.
“Mom, I was just talking to Buck. He’s been here almost two months, but this is his first time here during this. I think we should make him feel welcome while we’re here, since it’s his first time.”
“Okay sweetheart. We can do that. I’m Athena. Mind if I pull up a chair, Buck?”
“No, go ahead.”
Athena does, getting a chair for both her and May from nearby.
“Buck was just telling me that he doesn’t have very good parents. They haven’t been to visit him once since he’s been here. We should make sure we come visit him at LEAST once a week. No one should be alone.”
“You’re right, May. No one should be alone. Now, why don’t you go get the three of us some juice? I’ll save your seat.”
“Okay, mom, but be nice. Buck deserves it. I can already tell.” May instructs her mother with a glare.
“I will, sweetheart.” Athena answers, watching her daughter walk away. “You look young. How old are you?”
“I’m 18.”
“18, and your parents don’t visit?”
“Yeah… They threw guilt money at me as they told me they don’t want to deal with me. They blame me for my accident.”
“Were you to blame?” Athena shoots him a stern look at that. “And don’t lie to me. I’ll know.”
“I wasn’t. I was in the car with my sisters husband after finding out he was abusing her. He was angry, and driving erratically. Speeding, diving in and out of traffic, that sort of thing. He was DOA.” Buck answers, not even considering lying to the woman. “My sister got it into our parents head that I was to blame for making him angry.”
“That’s some heavy projection there. I take it you and your family didn’t have a good relationship before all this.”
“Me and my sister, Maddie, had a good relationship before this. My parents and I have always had a tough relationship.”
“I see. Sometimes, it’s hard to face the truths that are in front of us.”
At this point, May returns with three bottles of juice.
“Did you finish asking Buck questions you don’t want me to know the answers to yet, or should I grab us each a snack?” May sasses.
Buck shoots the almost nine-year-old a shocked look.
“I’m not stupid. I know what she was doing.” May responds to his look.
Athena just chuckles. “Yes I did, baby. You can come sit down again.”
“I take it you’ve decided Buck is a good person if you’re letting me sit down. I told you he was.” May sits down. “Mom’s a police sergeant.”
“That I am. I just want to make sure that you are always safe.”
May rolls her eyes. “I know. You always have.”
“Is that sass I hear? From my daughter?” A man says, walking up to the group.
“Oh, you better believe it.” Athena responds. “This is Buck. Buck, this is my husband Michael, and my son Harry.”
“Hi, Buck. Nice to meet you.”
“You too.” Buck responds, watching as the baby squirms in his father’s arms. “How old is he?”
“One and a half. He’s at that point of wanting freedom, so almost always wants to be put down.”
Buck nods, watching the family interact together. He spends the rest of the afternoon with the four of them. Too soon, it’s almost supper time, and the four of them are leaving. Before they do, May gives Buck a hug.
“Bye, Buck! See you next week!” May yells, following her parents out.
Buck’s glad he decided to do this. He has a good feeling about this family, maybe he can let himself make a couple friends. Besides, it would be good for him to know someone in LA outside of this center.
***
Buck has a routine now. Monday morning, he goes to breakfast, at 11 goes to PT, then goes from there to lunch. After lunch, him, Carla, and Dr. Finch play cards in the rec room, something new they were trying. Sometimes other residents would join, sometimes they wouldn’t. Once they were done, Buck would take his kobo outside to read in the garden until supper. This would repeat every Wednesday and Friday. On Tuesdays, it’s the same, but instead of PT, Buck spends extra time in the rec room with other residents. On Thursdays, Buck replaces PT with regular therapy with Dr. Finch.
Weekends are different. Saturdays, Buck spends his morning after breakfast watching a movie. After lunch is his outside time, then after supper he watches another movie. Sundays, his morning is spent outside, while his afternoon is filled with the Grant family. Sometimes they spend the whole time in the rec room, other times, Athena, Michael, or May will push him in his wheelchair in the garden, with Harry on his lap. Other times, he will get practice in on his crutches, practicing his balance more, preparing himself for his prosthetic, as two months pass by. It’s become a comforting routine. Buck knows that he has gotten really close to the family. He also knows that when he leaves, it will be hard not to see them every Sunday. Athena works sometimes, so doesn’t come, or sometimes she will leave sooner than the other Grants. There are a few days where Athena is able to stay the whole time.
It’s after Buck’s fourth month in the center when he’s given permission from his physical therapist to start practicing wearing his prosthetic around the center. Only for half an hour to an hour a day, to get himself used to the feel of it outside of PT. Once he can wear the prosthetic for more than an hour or two at a time, his physical therapist will be able to release him from the center.
The Thursday after Buck gets this news, he brings it up with Dr. Finch.
Dr. Finch gets him a list of jobs that Buck would be able to do, as well as a list of cheaper accessible apartments to look through, clearly having them ready from their conversation a couple months ago. That’s what Athena finds him doing on a surprise visit later that night, after supper.
“What’s all this?” she asks.
“Uh… My physical therapist mentioned the possibility of me leaving in a couple months. These are possible jobs and apartments I could live in.” Buck replies. “What are you doing here? It’s not Sunday.”
“It is not. I wanted to come by and visit. See how you were doing. So, how are you doing, baby?” Athena asks.
“I’m honestly really scared. Being alone terrifies me, but so does the thought of living here or with roommates. Not only that, but finding a job that will hire me is also a terrifying concept. Plus, once I leave here, I won’t be able to see you guys as often.” Buck responds honestly. He’s learned not to lie to Athena over the last few months. She can always tell.
“Now, who says you wouldn’t see us? We would absolutely still keep in contact with you once you leave this place.”
“Everyone else has left me. I don’t see why you wouldn’t.”
“Now, no more of that. We are not everyone else. We will not be leaving you behind.” Athena tells him sternly.
Buck nods at Athena.
“Actually, Michael and I were talking. We want you to move in with us when you get released. Now, before you go protesting, we want it to be to help look after May and Harry while we’re at work. May can take the bus to school. We can pay you to be a live-in nanny if it makes you feel better, but your main focus will be to make sure you stay healthy. Over the last few months, you have become like family, and we want to make sure you have a safe place to stay. Your fear over a place to live solidifies that.”
“I-“
“You will not be imposing on us, so if that’s the only reason for you to refuse, don’t bother.” Athena interrupts, knowing Buck well enough to know what he was going to say.
“Okay. I would really like that.” Buck answers shyly.
“Okay good.” Athena responds.
“You weren’t going to let me get away with not saying yes, were you?”
“Of course I would have let you say no. I would have just tried to convince you very strongly to say yes.” Athena says with a smile.
Buck’s glad he has the Grant’s. Maybe they’ll be better than his birth family. It sure feels like they are, and Buck’s only known them for 2 months.
***
Buck sits in an armchair in Dr. Finch’s office.
“Athena asked me to move in with them once I get out of here.”
“How does that make you feel?”
“Nervous. Scared. Excited.”
“Okay. Why all those feelings?”
“Nervous because it’s something new. It’s something I’m not used to. Either way, once I leave here, things will change, but this is a different change. Scared because what if they abandon me like my family did? I don’t know if I could handle that kind of rejection again, months after the first. Excited because I love the kids, and I love them. This means that I don’t have to stop seeing them once I leave.”
“I understand that. The abandonment by your parents and sister was hard on you. Not everyone is going to abandon you the way they did.”
“Logically, I know that, but I can’t seem to believe it. So far, all I have to believe is that people abandon me. So far, no one has proved that they won’t.”
“Are you willing to let them try? I know it can be hard to be vulnerable, but given the chance, I think the Grants will help you see that not everyone will abandon you.”
“I think I am willing to let them try, yeah. I feel safe around them.”
“Have you given more thought to asking Carla if she’d want to stay in contact when you leave?”
“Honestly, I’m scared to. I’m scared that she will tell me that the cards and getting close to me was just because I’m a patient here, and she was required to spend that time with me.”
“I know I mentioned it before, but she doesn’t spend that kind of time with the other patients. Yes, she gets to know them, especially when she has to care for them, but she cares about you a lot.”
“You have. I don’t know, I guess I feel a little scared that it’s a similar situation to my nurse in the hospital in Hershey, Mary. She was nice to me and she cared, but I think it was pity. She overheard my family and how they treated me, and felt bad that I had no one else to help me out and keep me company, so she did.”
“Why couldn’t it be both? Maybe she liked you and wanted to care for you, and felt bad about how your family treated you.”
“I guess. I just don’t like asking for things.”
“Would it make you feel better if I was there when you asked? Maybe tomorrow when we’re playing cards?”
“No. I think I’m going to wait a little longer.”
“Okay. Whenever you’re ready.”
***
That Sunday, Athena joins her family in their weekly visit. They talk about their usual things. What happened over the week, May tells Buck how school was and what they’re learning about, and Michael tells Buck how his architecture job went that week, while Athena tells kid friendly stories about her week.
“Grandma Beatrice is coming down next week. She’ll be staying with us. Mom always gets stressed when Grandma comes down.” May informs Buck.
“I do not.” Athena denies.
“Yes you do, dear. Your mother stresses you out. As much as you love her, you cannot deny that she does.” Michael agrees with his daughter.
“I will admit no such thing.”
Buck smiles along as the family teases Athena. He can’t help but wonder if they will still stop by when Athena’s mom is around. Next week will be a lonely week without them when they’re not here. Buck lets them take the lead in conversation, nodding along politely while the three continue to talk amongst each other. Eventually, Athena sends Michael, Harry, and May off to get Buck and her a snack.
“What’s going on in that head of yours?” She asks. “You’ve been quiet since May mentioned my mother.”
“Nothing gets past you, does it?” Buck jokes.
Athena levels him with a stare, content to wait him out.
Taking a deep breath, Buck prepares himself to answer, looking at the ground instead of Athena. “I know you have your mom in town next weekend, but I’m going to miss our weekly visit on Sunday.”
“What do you mean you’ll miss us? We’ll still stop by. We wouldn’t want to miss our Buck time.”
Buck looks back up at Athena nervously. “Really?”
“Really. And maybe if you’re lucky, we’ll bring my mother by, and you can meet her. I already know May won’t be able to stop talking about you.”
Buck blushes at that, smiling down at his foot.
“Mom! Can Buck come over next week and meet grandma? We could have him over for supper!”
Athena looks over at Buck at this. “We’ll see, May. If Buck is comfortable leaving, and if his doctor approves.”
“But I don’t wanna miss Buck next week. We’ve seen him every week.”
“We’ll still come visit him. I promise.”
“Do you? Grandma wanted to do a dinner on Sunday, and she said it would take allllll day to make. She said we would have to miss coming here.”
“Well, I’ll just have to talk to her then. And if she still insists upon Sunday dinner, we’ll have Buck over. I’ll pick him up, then drop him off after dessert.”
May nods, satisfied with that answer.
“So, Buck, since it looks like you’re being roped into Sunday dinner, why don’t I get your cell phone number? Then I can plan with you throughout the week to set up a plan.” Athena asks.
“I uh…. Don’t actually have a cell phone. It broke in the accident and I never bothered to get it replaced. No sense if there’s no one to contact you.”
“Nonsense. You do now. We’ll have to fix that. I’ll drop one by later this week.”
“No, Athena, you don’t have to do that. I’ll be fine.”
“I won’t hear it. It’s better if you don’t argue with me.” Athena levels a look at him.
“Okay.”
“Great. Glad you agree.” Athena replies with a smirk.
The rest of the afternoon passes a lot smoother than the first half. Buck gets through the day with less worry of not seeing the Grant’s the next week. His talk with Athena helped to reassure that Buck would be okay, he wouldn’t have to miss out on seeing the family that he was slowly starting to think of as his own. They’ve treated him better in two months than his own blood family did in 18 years, and that breaks Buck’s heart.
***
With the realization that the Grant’s treat Buck better than his own blood family, comes the fall. He spends all of Monday holed up in his room. He doesn’t even play cards with Carla and Dr. Finch. Tuesday is much the same, Buck refusing to even have his meals out in the dining area.
The door opens on Tuesday night, after Buck has eaten his supper.
“Go away. I don’t want company.” Buck tells the person, not even sparing a glance at the door.
“Well, that’s too bad, because I’m not giving you a choice.” Athena tells him, sitting down in a chair.
“Athena? What are you doing here?”
“A little birdy called me today, asked if I was free, told me one of my favourite people wasn’t being as social as usual. Holing up in his room. You wouldn’t happen to know who, would you?”
“Oh. Carla called?”
“Yes she did. She was worried, since you haven’t been playing your usual game of cards with her. What happened, Buck? Everything was okay when we left on Sunday, or so I thought.” Athena asks.
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Well, that’s too bad. I won’t leave until you do.”
They end up in a stalemate for an hour, Buck continuing to watch the movie he’d put on earlier that evening.
“You really aren’t going to leave until I talk, are you?”
“No I am not. Not when you need me.”
“I don’t need you. I don’t need anyone.” Buck tells her bitterly.
Athena hums. “I don’t think that’s true. Everyone needs someone. I want to be that someone, Buck. I want to be there for you when you need. You just have to let me in.”
Buck holds his silence for another twenty minutes, thinking.
“I realized Sunday that you, the kids, Michael, have treated me better in two months than my birth family did in 18 years. Even Maddie, who loved me, still left to go to school and didn’t look back. She barely called, barely visited.”
“Oh, baby. I can’t imagine how hard that must have been for you. Michael and I, we don’t plan on going ANYWHERE. Especially not any time soon.”
Buck just nods.
“Some days, I want to find that family of yours and talk some sense into them. Then, I think better of it. If they couldn’t see you for the wonderful person you are, they don’t deserve a reminder.”
“Thank you, Athena.”
“Don’t get me wrong, I’ve already done a background check on them, but they’re not worth my effort. You are, so whatever I can do to convince you, I will.”
“Oh. Why would you do a background check on them?”
“I wanted to know who was stupid enough to abandon a sweet kid like yourself.”
“Oh. Thank you.”
“I got you something.”
Buck looks over at Athena in shock.
“A cellphone. I’ve already programmed mine and Michael’s cell numbers, as well as the home phone number in here. I also may have gotten Carla’s number in here as well. We both know how close you two have gotten since coming here, and you deserve to know you have friends.” Athena hands over the phone to Buck, seeing the four contacts in the phone already.
“I can’t thank you enough for this, Athena. I have some money, at least let me p-“
“You better not be offering to pay me for any of that.”
Buck blushes, looking away, as Athena interrupts him.
“I guess I won’t then.”
“Good. Now, as for this weekend, would you feel comfortable leaving the center for a few hours? I can pick you up mid-afternoon, then drop you back again after dessert.”
“I don’t know. I haven’t left since I got here. I know I can handle being on crutches for that long, but I also only have casual clothes. I don’t know how formal this dinner will be.”
“Well, first of all, make sure you have clearance from your physical therapist to leave before I kidnap you for an afternoon. Second, it won’t be formal. Jeans and a shirt should be good enough.”
“Okay. I’ll talk to her tomorrow during my appointment.”
“Okay. Text me what she says, and if you want to come by on Sunday. No pressure. If you don’t want to, that’s fine.”
“Okay. I will.”
“Good. Now, I should go. May still lets me tuck her in at night, and I don’t wanna miss that as much as I can help it. Put that phone to good use, yeah?” Athena says, leaning down and kissing Buck’s forehead.
“Yeah. I will.”
***
Buck gets the all-clear from Dr. Spencer to leave the center, and clears it with the center itself for Sunday. He texts Athena, confirming the dinner, making plans to be picked up mid-afternoon. Buck will spend the evening with the Grant’s and Mrs. Carter, then be taken home by either Athena or Michael after dessert.
On Sunday, Buck changes his shirt three times. He also has to get help from the nurse to pin his pant leg up so it doesn’t flop around, something he hadn’t worried as much about since coming to the center. Dr. Spencer didn’t think it was a good idea to test out his prosthetic for the first time outside of the center when he would be out for hours at a time, so crutches and pinning it was.
Athena shows up right on time to get Buck, coming by his room to get him. She gets him in the passenger seat of her car, his crutches getting stored in the trunk for safe keeping.
“So. Are you more excited or nervous?” Athena asks.
“Definitely more nervous. This is the first time I’ve left the center, and I’m meeting your mom for the first time.”
“You’ll be fine.”
They end up at the Grant’s quicker than Buck would like. As Athena grabs him his crutches, he wipes his slightly damp hands on his pants. Athena hands Buck his crutches after she opens the door for him, leading him up the path to the front door.
“We’re home!” Athena calls out as the two enter.
Michael pokes his head around the kitchen. “Hi. I’m just finishing up a few dishes. Your mother is outside with the kids.”
“Okay. Come on, Buck, I’ll take you out back. You can see the kids, and meet my mother.”
Buck follows Athena to the back, going out onto the back porch area.
“Hi, Momma. We’re back.” Athena greets, kissing her mom on the cheek, sitting down beside her. “This is Buck, the kid I was telling you about.”
“Hi Mrs. Carter.” Buck waves shyly, manoeuvring into the chair beside Athena.
“Hi. You said your name was Buck?”
“Yes it is.”
“Is that a nickname?”
Buck nods in answer.
“Where did you get the nickname?”
“I got it from my nurse in the hospital. She helped me come up with it, from my last name, Buckley.”
“Okay. Is there a reason she helped you come up with a nickname?”
“Momma. Don’t interrogate him.”
“Why? I’m sure you did.”
“It’s okay, Athena. I don’t mind.” Buck assures. “I don’t like my name. My parents only ever said it with disdain, or completely uncaring. When they disowned me, I decided not to go by my first name anymore, but instead by a nickname.”
“Did they disown you because of your accident?”
“Yes, in part.”
“Was it deserved?”
“Momma. That’s enough!”
“No. I want to know who is coming into my grandbaby’s lives. You will let me talk to the boy.”
“Seriously, Athena. It’s okay.”
Athena shoots Buck a silent question, and Buck nods subtly in answer.
“Look, he’s okay with it.”
“It was not deserved, there are you happy?” Athena answers for Buck.
“No. I would like to hear why they disowned their own child. I cannot imagine a parent doing that without a reason.”
“Then you haven’t met my parents.”
“If you’re willing, I would like to hear the story.” Mrs. Carter informs.
“They came to me after my accident. I found out my brother-in-law had been abusing my sister and went to confront him. He was driving erratically and crashed the car. Both my sister and my parents blamed me for the accident, and his death. My parents told me that I had to find somewhere else to recover, because they were tired of my reckless behaviour forcing them into coming into the hospital with me.”
Mrs. Carter levels Buck with a look. “Thank you for sharing. Would you like a drink, Buck?”
“Sure. Water’s fine.”
Mrs. Carter leaves Athena and Buck to watch the kids. May is running around the yard, chasing a toddling Harry around.
“I’ll be right back. You’ll watch the kids?” Athena asks.
Buck nods in confirmation. Athena gets up, leaving the door cracked.
“Did you really have to do that, Momma?” Buck hears Athena quietly.
“Yes I did. I had to make sure you were safe.”
“You think I would let someone I didn’t trust into my home? With my kids? Momma, I’m a police sergeant. He’s been through enough, he didn’t need to be interrogated like that.”
“Oh, but when you do it, it’s fine?”
“May told you.”
“Yes she did.”
“Well, then, you should have trusted my interrogation was good enough.”
“I wanted to hear it for myself.”
“Don’t ask any more questions like that. I’m serious, Momma. He doesn’t need that. He’s a good kid.”
“We’ll see.”
After that, Athena comes back, Mrs. Carter in tow. She hands Buck his water, sitting down in her previously abandoned seat. The rest of the afternoon passes peacefully. Eventually, everyone makes their way inside. Mrs. Carter starts on supper, with the help of Athena, and Buck and Michael watch the kids play in the living room. Once supper is ready, everyone sits at the table. Buck is seated beside May, with Michael at the head of the table on his other side. Harry is on the other side of Michael, with Athena beside him. Mrs. Carter takes the last seat, across from Michael.
“This tastes really good, Mrs. Carter.”
“Thank you, Buck.”
The meal passes with May keeping up the conversation. She fills everyone in on how school went, listing off facts about the science experiment her teacher showed the class last week. After dessert, Buck’s getting ready to leave, Michael dropping him off.
“You’re really good with them. The kids, that is.” Mrs. Carter says to him.
“Thanks. They’re good kids.”
“Yeah. They are.” Mrs. Carter sighs. “I’m sorry about your parents abandonment. That wasn’t right.”
“Thank you.”
“I hope you know I just want to make sure my family is safe, Buck.”
“I do. I understand. I think I know where Athena gets it from.”
“I hope that’s a compliment.” Mrs. Carter answer with a smile.
Buck smiles back, giving her a confirmation nod. “It is.”
While the beginning was rough, Buck feels like maybe, just maybe, Mrs. Carter didn’t hate him as much as he thought she did.
***
Over the next month, Buck works up his ability to wear his prosthetic for longer. He’s now able to wear it during meal times, and for small walks, without being too sore. He’s able to balance okay, and can walk without the help of his crutches while wearing it.
“Dr. Spencer said I’m doing a lot better with my prosthetic.” Buck brings up to Dr. Finch at their session on Thursday.
“Good. Has she mentioned a timeline on when you might be released?”
“No. He said he wants me wearing it all day for at least one day before she gives me an idea.”
“Okay. Don’t push yourself.”
“I don’t plan to. As much as being healthy enough to leave here would be nice, I don’t want to push myself. The thought of leaving also terrifies me.” Buck reassures the doctor.
“Is it the change, or the fear of the unknown?”
Buck takes a moment to ponder. “Both. I’m scared of things changing, with Carla, the Grants, but I’m also scared of the unknown. What comes next, ya know?”
“Have you and Athena talked any more about you moving in with them?”
“Not really. We haven’t gotten too many moments alone, and I don’t want to bring it up in front of the kids.”
“You could text or call her. Maybe knowing for sure that’s still an option will help a bit with the unknown.”
“It might. I also don’t want to impose on her time. She has the kids to worry about, and her job. Living with them will also change things between us. I’m scared that moving in with them will make them realize that they don’t like me anymore. They won’t be able to get away from me, I’ll be stuck there.”
“Buck. Not everyone is going to leave. I know it’s hard to see that right now, but living with the Grants may help with some of that fear of abandonment. Just think about it. Talk to Athena. Maybe pull her aside on Sunday.”
“Okay. I might.”
***
Buck didn’t get the chance to pull Athena aside on Sunday. Instead, Michael pulled him along for a walk, letting Buck set the pace with his prosthetic.
“So, I know Athena brought this up to you a while ago, but I also wanted to talk to you about this. Move in with us when you get released, Buck. We’d love to have you. The kids would love to have you around, May can’t stop raving about her best friend Buck, and Harry lights up whenever you play with him. Me and Athena can teach you to cook, help you out with transitioning to the outside world. At least consider it.”
“I have been. I’ve been talking with Dr. Finch a lot.”
“Okay. What’s holding you up?”
“I’m scared that once you live with me, you will realize you don’t actually like me. That you’ll kick me out, like my parents did.”
Michael takes a deep breath. “We love you. The kids love you. We could never dislike you. Plus, I think if anyone tried to remove you from our lives, Athena would hunt them down herself. She’s grown quite protective over you in the last three months.”
“Sometimes I forget how little time I’ve known you. It feels like so much longer.”
“It does. You’ve become such an important part of our lives, it’s hard to believe it’s only been a short amount of time. Just think about it, okay? And don’t leave Athena hanging too long.”
Buck nods, and the two circle back to the rest of the family, meeting up with them talking to another resident. They spend the rest of the afternoon with other residents. It’s a good day. Buck was able to get through the afternoon and supper before having to take off his prosthetic. It’s good progress. Dr. Spencer will be happy with him, for sure.
***
By the time Friday comes around, Buck is getting closer to having his prosthetic on all day. He usually takes it off for an hour after lunch now, to give him a bit of a rest, and massage some of the more sore areas, but that’s becoming less and less necessary. Buck brings this up with Athena, on the next Sunday.
“So what you’re telling me is, that we should get your room ready to move in soon?” Athena asks.
Buck blushes. “I didn’t say that.”
“Okay. Maybe if I get it ready, you’ll move in anyways, since it’s already done up.”
Buck chuckles, “Maybe I can be more convinced with cookies.”
“Hmm.” Athena hums, humor dancing in her eyes at Buck’s teasing.
That evening, Buck takes off his prosthetic. He hadn’t taken it off since breakfast that morning. Massaging his stump, Buck realizes it’s not as sore as he was expecting it to be, having worn the prosthetic all day. Having it on didn’t feel as awkward as it had even two weeks ago. Buck was slowly adjusting to this new normal part of his life. It was shocking to him how subtle the changes were. He didn’t wake up one day suddenly able to wear his prosthetic for long periods of time. His sessions with Dr. Spencer helped build him up to it, plus the massage cream she gave him helped with any sore muscles he did experience.
This line of thinking brings Buck to a decision. This change wasn’t as terrifying as he was expecting it to be. Maybe moving in with the Grant’s wouldn’t be as scary, either. Maybe they won’t leave him, like his parents and sister. He can move in with them, and have a safe space to be himself. Now, to talk to Dr. Spencer about a release date, and Dr. Finch about his realization. Then, Athena and Michael. No big deal.
***
“Hey, Athena. Got some time to talk?” Buck asks into the phone.
“For you, Buckaroo? Of course. What’s on your mind?”
“I think I’m going to take you up on your offer to move in, if that’s still an option.”
“Of course it is. I’ll talk to Michael and we’ll get it all set up for you. Any ideas when they’ll let you out?” Athena asks.
“Two weeks? That’s what Dr. Spencer mentioned earlier today at our appointment.”
“Okay. Two weeks. That’s doable.”
“Okay. That’s not too soon? I can always stay here a little longer if you need more than that.”
“No no. Don’t worry about that. We’ll have enough time.”
“Okay.” Silence rings out between them for a moment, “thank you.”
“No need to thank me, Buckaroo. Just taking care of my own.” Athena answers, giving him a goodbye, and hanging up the phone.
At Athena’s final words, Buck can’t help but break down. He’s never had anyone show him this much care before. It’s nice, feeling like he belongs, like he’s wanted. He gives himself a moment to mourn the childhood he had, alone aside from Maddie. She did her best, but she was still a child, trying to take care of him. She could only do so much. He just hopes she’s getting the help she needs, instead of letting everything sit, and fester. He knows how much that can hurt, rather than help.
***
Two weeks goes by quickly. Of the few residents he’s gotten to know a little bit over his six months here, he doesn’t feel a burning need to stay in contact with anyone. He’s already got Carla’s phone number and a plan to go out to lunch with her the following weekend. As for therapy, Buck feels confident that he will still need it after leaving. Dr. Finch gives him a list of therapists in the area to look over. Dr. Spencer gives him a list of physical therapists to check in with at least once every two months, make sure everything is still healing properly.
On his final day, Carla helps him out to the lobby with all of his stuff. Athena is waiting there with a smile. Athena takes Buck’s stuff from Carla, putting his bag over her shoulder.
“I’ll load everything into the car. You take your time saying goodbye. Come on out when you’re ready to go.” Athena tells him, patting his arm on her way by.
“Come here, give me a hug.” Carla instructs.
“You’ll see me next weekend.” Buck tells her as he leans in for a hug.
“I better.”
“Thank you. You pulled me out of my shell here. Without your daily card games, I would have continued to wallow in my room for the rest of my time here.”
“You’re welcome. It broke my heart to see a kid so alone and clearly hurting. I’m glad I helped, but you put in the effort. If you hadn’t it wouldn’t have worked.”
“I guess. Anyways, I should go. Don’t want to keep Athena waiting much longer.”
“Okay, Buckaroo. Don’t be a stranger. You have my number, don’t be afraid to use it.”
Buck nods, walking to the door. “I will. Thank you again.”
Buck gets in the passenger seat, “Okay. Ready to go.”
Athena nods, pulling out onto the road. It’s a short ride to the Grant house. Once they pull up, Athena grabs his stuff. Buck tries, but she shoes him away.
The first think Buck notices is in place of steps, there’s a small ramp. The front door opens, letting Buck into the house. May is just inside the entry, holding a sign that reads ‘Welcome home, Buck!’ Tears spring to his eyes as soon as he sees it.
“Wow. That’s a really good sign.” Buck tells May, trying to pretend he’s not crying.
“I know. I’ll show you your room.” May hands off her sign to her dad, grabbing Buck’s hand.
She leads him to the kitchen, down another small ramp, again, in place of the two stairs that were there previously. May opens a door Buck didn’t notice the last time he was here, right off the dining room.
“This is your room. Mom and dad let me pick out the bedset for you. I hope you like it!” May tells him, opening his door.
Inside, Buck sees a queen size bed, with a nightstand on either side on the opposite wall from the door. To the left wall, sits a dresser, and a door. The other wall has a big window, with dark blue curtains. Red bedsheets sit on the bed. Along the walls, are pictures. Buck takes a look at the pictures, noticing they are of him and the Grant’s, from over the last four months. He didn’t even notice that any pictures were being taken.
“Thank you, May. I love the bedsheets.” Buck tells her.
“I knew you would! Now, lets go see your bathroom. They wanted to make sure it was safe for you!” May instructs, dragging him over to the other door in the room.
The bathroom is a good size. The sink would allow for a wheelchair to fit under it. There’s also enough room in it for him to wheel around if he needs to on a bad day and still be able to move. The shower is a walk-in shower, with railings and a built-in shower chair. When May leads him out of his bathroom, Buck is crying. Athena is in the doorway, looking at him.
“How did you get this done in two weeks? I didn’t even know you had a spare room here.”
“We didn’t. We had it added on. We’ve been wanting to add on for years, this was just the perfect excuse we needed. We started this project a couple months ago, right after your visit here. We wanted to surprise you with it.” Athena informs.
“You didn’t have to do all this for me. Thank you.” Buck goes up and hugs Athena.
“You’re welcome. We wanted to make sure you felt comfortable enough here to live properly, take care of yourself properly.” Athena tells him, hugging him back. “Now, I know you don’t have much, but spend the rest of the morning putting your stuff away. We’ll come get you when lunch is ready.”
With that, Athena puts his bag down, pushing his wheelchair in the door. She sets his crutches down beside it, closing the door as she leaves. Now, Buck can make this room feel more like home. With how the Grant’s have treated him so far, it won’t be hard. Maybe they will become a more permanent part of his life. Maybe it’s okay to get his hopes up, just this once.
Chapter Four
Buck hears a knock on his door. “Come in.”
Athena opens the door, closing it behind her. “So. Do you want to talk to me about why you’ve been spending all of your time in here the past two weeks?”
“I’ve been eating with everyone.” Buck answers back.
“Only because we wouldn’t let you eat in your room.” Athena gives him a look.
Buck hesitates. “I don’t want to intrude into your life. You’ve already done a lot just taking me in like you have, I don’t want to intrude more than I already have by moving in.”
“Buck. You are not intruding. You are not bothering us by being here. We wouldn’t have offered to have you move in if we didn’t want you here. Now, come on out, we’re having family movie day. It’s not optional.” Athena reassures.
“Okay. I’m just going to get in my wheelchair, then I’ll come out.”
“Bad pain day?”
Buck just nods.
“I’ll get you another dose of your meds. You’re almost due for one anyways.” Athena tells him, leaving him to get situated.
It takes Buck a few minutes to get himself situated into his chair. Exiting his room, he accepts a glass of water and his pain meds, swallowing them before following Athena into the living room.
“Oh good! Mom said you were going to join us today! We’re watching Tangled. I voted for Alice in Wonderland, but mom said we should watch something that would interest Harry, too. I tried to tell her that he would like anything since he’s two, but she didn’t listen. You can sit here beside me.”
“Buck can sit in the recliner on the other side of you. He needs to put up his leg. He’ll still be close.” Athena replies, pointing Buck to the chair.
Buck makes himself comfy, putting out the recliner. Athena grabbed one of the pillows off the couch and put it under his stump. Buck nods his head in thanks.
Michael comes in from the kitchen, holding three bowls of popcorn. He hands one of the smaller ones to May, handing the other smaller one to Buck. He then settles into the couch beside May, Athena sitting beside him, Harry settled between the two parents. They share popcorn as the movie plays. The best part is May’s commentary on the whole thing. She has something to say about almost every scene, from how much she hates Mother Gothel to how cute Pascal is. By the first song, Harry is tired of sitting. He gets up, dancing along to the songs as they come on, but ends up spending most of the movie standing in front of the couch, watching from there.
“Buck, Flynn reminds me of you!” May tells him.
“Oh, does he? Why’s that?”
“Well, you’re also goofy, and very sweet! You’re the best!”
Buck smiles, looking down at his lap. “Thanks, May.”
The rest of the movie goes by, the family listening to May’s commentary. Buck enjoys the movie, but what he likes best is watching it with the Grant’s. It feels like a family, and Buck feels included in that family.
***
After the movie day, Buck makes more of an effort to spend time with the family. He gets up in the morning and sees May off to school. Once school is done, Buck hears all about how her day went. She started the third grade a couple weeks before Buck moved in, and she’s loving it so far. Harry goes to daycare while Michael is at work, he has a reduced schedule right now, 9-3, so he can be home when the kids are. His architecture firm has been good enough to work with him around his kids’ schedule.
Buck often will spend his time alone during the days he has to himself in the living room, catching up on some shows he got into while he was at the center. On the days that Athena is home, she makes them lunch, and they spend the afternoon together. Each meal time is eaten as a family if there are other people around to eat with. Right after school, Buck helps May with homework. Once supper is done, the family spends the evening either watching a movie, or playing a board game.
Weekends tends to have Saturdays where Michael takes the kids out somewhere. Athena will join if she’s not working, and Buck will join as well if he’s not in too much pain. Sunday’s is church, which Buck will join, then the Grant’s go to the center. They drop Buck off first, since he’s not ready to go back yet so soon after his injury.
It’s early November, May’s birthday just passed, when Athena comes home in the afternoon.
“You’re home early.” Buck tells her, looking at the time.
“Yeah. Rough call. Got sent home early.” Athena replies, looking tired.
“Oh. Do you want to come sit and talk about it? I don’t mind listening.”
“Sure. Just let me get changed first.” Athena replies, walking down the hallway towards her room.
Once she comes out, fully changed, she sits beside Buck. He lets her sit, not wanting to ask if she’s not ready to speak yet.
“The calls with kids are the hardest. A call came in, I responded to it. A child had called, saying their mom had gotten hurt. A neighbor had broken in and hurt their mom with a knife. When I got there, the mom was already gone. I went to the child, making sure that CPS was on their way. They were so heartbroken and worried for her. I had to try to reassure her that the paramedics would do everything they could for that poor girl. She kept crying for her mom the whole way out of the house. I had to hand her off to the paramedics so she could get checked over in the hospital. It was hard.”
Buck is tearing up at Athena’s recounting of the events. He lets her keep talking, knowing she needs it.
“I found some evidence at the scene, but detectives came in to help as well. That and the crime scene technicians collected everything. We won’t know if it was enough until everything is combed over. It could take weeks to get any answers for that poor girl.”
Buck places a comforting hand on Athena’s back. She smiles at him wanly in thanks.
“I got sent home early once everything was collected. Captain Maynard send me home to hug my kids after that one.”
“They’ll be home soon. Michael should be picking them up.”
Athena nods. The two watch whatever Buck has on TV before Athena walked in. Not even half an hour later, Michael is walking in with both kids following.
“Mom!” May yells excitedly, running up to give her mom a hug. “You weren’t supposed to be home until tonight!”
“I know! Captain Maynard let me go home early so I could see my favourite children!”
Michael looks to Buck, and he subtly shakes his head.
Harry toddles up to his mother, climbing into her lap, babbling to her the whole time. Athena listens as Harry babbles and May talks about her day. They decide to let May get away with leaving her homework until after supper, just today. She’s so excited, she doesn’t notice her mom holding her just a little tighter than usual.
Buck leaves the kids and Athena in the living room, following Michael into the kitchen.
“Bad day?” he asks.
Buck nods. “A call with a kid.”
“I know how those can be tough for her. I’m glad Maynard let her come home early. When did she get home?”
“About an hour before you, if that.”
“Thanks, Buck. For letting her talk it out. I know it can’t have been easy.”
“Maybe not, but I’m okay with hearing it. I can handle it.”
“I know you can handle it, but it’s still not easy, so thank you.”
Buck nods, helping Michael prepare a snack for his two kids, bringing it out to them once it’s done. They listen to the kids talk, Athena holding both of them beside her.
***
“So, Buckaroo, how have you been?” Carla asks, sitting at the Grant’s table across from him.
“I’ve been good. Better than my first couple weeks here.” Buck tells her.
“Yeah. I was disappointed that you canceled lunch on me, but I understand. I’m glad we talked it out and decided to just have me come here on my days off instead.”
“I’m still sorry about that. I haven’t been able to bring myself to face the outside world much besides Church. Even then, Church is hard enough with all the stares I get.”
“It’s okay, Buckaroo. It works out better for me to come here anyways. More time that way. And besides, I can always use more Buck time.”
Buck smiles at her.
“I hope the Grant’s didn’t leave on my account. They could have stayed.”
“No, Saturday’s are Michael’s day out with the kids. He takes them out, sometimes Athena will as well if she’s not working.”
“Oh good. So. I know last we talked, you’d been wanting to do something with your time besides watching shows.”
“Yeah. I’ve been considering school, but I don’t know what I want to do.”
“Well, I brought with me some research on different programs in LA that you can look into.” Carla tells him, pulling out a stack of papers.
Buck looks through them. “Thank you. Would you mind helping me go over them?”
“Of course. I also have information in there about any grants and scholarships, as well as government assistance you can apply for due to your disability.”
“Thank you. I don’t know what I’d do without you.” Buck smiles at her.
“Oh, I’m sure you would have figured something out.”
***
In early January, Buck approaches Athena and Michael one night after the kids went to bed.
“I think I want to go to school. UCLA to be specific.”
The couple looks at each other.
“Okay. Do you know what you want to do?” Athena responds.
“Uh… I have a couple ideas. Carla’s helped me do some research on different career paths I could take in the future. I want to do something that would help others. I could go into education, become a teacher. Or, forensic science, do something with that. I don’t want to do anything with medicine. I think I’ve had enough of doctors without having to be around them all the time. Maddie’s a nurse, so that’s also a no-go because of that.”
“It seems like you’ve put a lot of thought into this. I’m impressed.” Michael tells him.
“I have. So, what do you think?”
“About you going to school? I think it would be a great idea.” Athena responds. Michael nods his agreement.
“Okay. But what about a program?” Buck asks.
“Well, I think that should be up to you. What do you want to do?” Michael asks.
“That’s the thing. I don’t know what I want to do yet.”
“I’ve got an idea. At the precinct, we have some people who have a forensic science degree. I can ask if you can come down and speak to them about the stuff they do, as well as what to expect with school, and what you’d need to focus on. How does that sound?” Athena asks.
“That sounds great!”
“Okay. I’ll set that up. Is that all you needed to talk to us about?” Athena asks.
“Yes.”
“Okay. Lets start the show, then, shall we?” Michael starts the show they were planning to watch once the kids had been put to bed. The three of them sit in silence, watching the show, before going to bed for the night.
***
“So, what would you like to know?” The woman, Marsha, asks.
“What kind of work do you do here?”
“I’m a forensic scientist specifically. I work in the lab, mostly. I help to collect evidence when needed, but field work is rare. Most of the time, it’s the crime scene technicians that will collect the evidence as well as analyze the crime scene. They will give us everything they have, and we will evaluate the evidence and make a report based on that evidence that we have been provided. Once the report is done up, we consult with the detective or officer on the case to give them our reports. We get any analytics from any substances by the laboratory technician, who tests the substances we get to determine what they are. They will test DNA, fluids, clothing, hair, as well as blood with the help of a blood specialist. There are a lot of moving parts behind this job.” Marsha tells him.
“What level of education is required?”
“At a baseline, a bachelor’s degree in something related. Could be forensic science, or biology, or chemistry. Whatever interests you. A Master’s degree is suggested if you want to move up, or have a chance to work in a specific field of forensic science. Think DNA, toxicology, ballistics, stuff like that. I got a Masters in toxicology, so that’s mainly what I provide my reports on, but will work with other forensic scientists to help out when needed.”
The two continue to talk back and forth about the responsibilities of being a forensic scientist. Marsha isn’t shy about being honest with the downsides of the job as well as the bonuses. Marsha brings up the paid internship opportunities for anyone looking into this degree. Once completed the Bachelor’s degree, they have different internships for the different fields someone could work in. Forensic scientist, crime scene investigator, lab technician, jobs like that.
Buck spends the rest of the afternoon before Michael picks him up filling out an application with Marsha. She’s more than willing to help him with the steps, but he’ll have to write his own essay. She gives him a few good ideas, then leaves him alone at a computer to write. Buck decides to write about his positive experiences with his amputation and how he wants to help people like everyone helped him while he was at his lowest. He writes about how he thinks going to school for forensic science will be helpful to his life, and how his struggles over the last almost year have impacted him. By the time Michael comes to pick Buck up, he’s finished his application, and is ready to mail it off.
It takes two months before Buck hears anything back from UCLA. The envelope with Buck’s legal name is sitting on the table, waiting for him to open it. He nervously wrings his hands, staring down at the envelope in front of him.
“Are you going to keep staring at it like it’s going to bite you, or are you going to open it?” Athena questions, handing him a glass of water.
“I don’t know if I can. This determines my whole future, what I’m going to do with my life. Ya know?”
“Okay. Take your time. There’s no rush.” Athena sits patiently.
After another half an hour of Buck staring down at the envelope, he looks back up at Athena. “Can you open it for me? I don’t know if I can do it.”
“Only if you’re sure. I can read it, then tell you whether you got in or not, or I can hand it to you after I open it. Up to you.”
“Tell me? I don’t know if I’ll be able to actually read a rejection if that’s what it is.”
Athena nods, sliding the envelope closer to herself. Buck watches as she opens it, taking out the paper, then reading silently. He can’t tell what it says just from her face, she’s too good at schooling her features into a neutral expression. She looks up at Buck once she finishes reading.
“You got in.” She says, finally allowing herself to smile.
“I did?” Buck asks.
“You did.”
Buck lets out a sigh of relief.
“I have to ask, how are you going to pay for it? Will you need help signing up for any loans?” Athena questions.
“Uh, no. I still have the guilt money that my parents left me. Carla also helped me apply for some government assistance and any grants I am applicable for. Between that and my parents guilt money, I should be able to cover everything.”
“Oh good. At least it’s useful for something. You won’t have any debt leaving school then.”
Buck nods. “I hate them for abandoning me, leaving me at the lowest point of my life. In a way, though, it was better for me that they did. It led me to here, to you and your family. I’m grateful for you and Michael taking me in. I’ve had my moments, but you have always been able to reassure me, and make me feel wanted and loved. So thank you for that.”
After Buck’s speech, Athena get up and hugs him. “I’m so glad that we could provide that for you. We love you. If I ever see your parents, they won’t know what hit ‘em.”
“Thanks, Athena. I appreciate that.”
“You’re family. Family protects each other.” Athena tells him, as if it was obvious.
At that, Buck can’t help but cry into her shoulder, feeling like a part of a family for the first time.
***
The anniversary of the accident hits him hard. He spends all day in bed, unable to get up to even eat. He can’t bring himself to each much of anything. The memories haunt him, things he could have done differently. If he’d just left instead of confronting Maddie, he would probably still have his sister in his life. She wouldn’t hate him for killing Doug. There are so many things he would change about that day, and it’s hard not to think about all of it. He knows he should have booked an appointment with his therapist today, but he didn’t want to have an extra session when he has one later in the week.
When Athena brings him a sandwich just after lunchtime, Buck eats it. He still doesn’t have much of an appetite, but he knows he should at least eat something, so he forces himself to finish it. Athena tries to get him to come out and watch a movie with them later that day, but he can’t bring himself to leave the room. Not today, of all days. Eventually, she leaves him be. He hears her quietly apologize to May, and explain that it’s not a good day and he just needs to be left alone. She can spend time with him tomorrow.
Buck lets his mind fade, falling into fitful naps for the rest of the day. He wakes up the next day to a knock on the door and the smell of bacon cooking. Today, he will get out of bed. Yesterday, he was allowed to wallow, but today he won’t. Eating breakfast with the Grant’s is the same as it usually is. It’s nice. May catches him up on the movie he missed yesterday. Buck isn’t better by any means, but he’s better than yesterday. His therapist tells him that he’s allowed to have bad days, and he should embrace them instead of trying to push them away. That’s the hardest part. Feeling free enough to embrace the bad days, but he’s working on it.
***
A month before Buck is set to start school, Michael and Athena sit him down.
“Uh oh. This looks serious. Did I do something wrong?” Buck asks.
“No, no. Nothing like that. We just wanted to talk to you about something.” Athena tells him.
“You know you’re family. We’ve known you for over a year now. You’ve been living with us for almost a year as well.” Michael starts.
Athena takes over, grabbing Michael’s hand. “We want you to officially become a part of the family. We want to adopt you. We already see you as another child, we might as well make it official.”
“Uh… I appreciate that, but aren’t I too old to be adopted? I’m 19.” Buck asks.
“There’s such thing as adult adoption. So long as all parties involved agree to it, we can adopt you officially as an adult. You will become a legal part of our family.” Athena fills in.
“No pressure. If you don’t want to, you don’t have to. Take some time to think about it.” Michael reassures.
“No! I want to. I want to officially be a part of the family. You have given me a lot more than my birth parents ever did. I would love it.” Buck tells them, no hesitation in his voice.
Michael and Athena smile at him, pulling out the forms.
“I see you already had them made up.” Buck comments.
“Well, we had to be prepared for if you said yes. Wouldn’t want to take longer than we need to, in order to get the process started, now would we?” Athena comments.
“Okay. So, what do I need to fill out?” Buck asks. Athena points out the sections he needs to fill out, noticing that the parental sections are already complete.
Buck looks up hesitantly at the two that have become closer to parents to him over the last almost year and a half than his parents were in 18 years. “Do you think… Would it be okay if I changed my name?”
The couple looks at each other, then back to Buck. “What did you have in mind?” Michael asks.
“I… I was thinking Buck Grant. I don’t like my birth name anyways, and this way, I can be closer to you and the kids. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, so if you don’t like it, I won’t do it.”
The two can’t hold back their grins. “We would love that, Buck.”
“Really?”
“Yes. It’s okay to change your name. There should actually be a section in there for legal name change.” Athena tells him.
He nods, looking through the forms. “There is. I’ll fill out everything I need here, after grabbing my papers, then I’ll give it to you. What’s the process for getting it approved?” Buck asks, standing to grab what he needs to finish filling it out.
“Well, once it’s filled out, all we need is approval from a judge. I have one on standby for a week from today. She owes me a favour and I figured this was as good an occasion as any.” Athena informs.
“Okay.” Buck hands over the complete forms to Athena once he finishes with them.
“I will file these once the judge approves, then your legal name change, as well as familial status, will be official. We’ll have to get you all new ID’s and birth certificates and all that, but we’ll worry about that once it’s all filed away. You’ll also need to contact UCLA to inform them of the name change once the official documentation comes in. That sound okay?” Athena adds.
Buck nods. “It’s a lot of steps, but it will be worth it.”
“Yes, it will. Now, I know you must be tired. This has been a lot. Go on to bed. We’ll see you in the morning.” Michael instructs, patting his shoulder as he walks by.
Buck listens, fantasizing about being an official member of the Grant family as he falls asleep.
***
Two weeks later, the whole family is in front of a judge. Since it’s the end of summer, the kids didn’t have school. They wanted to be there when Buck officially became their brother. The judge was quick to approve of the adoption, and Athena went by the precinct to speed up the filing process, and change her files legally, not wanting to wait until she was in next to get it done. Michael takes the kids back to the house once everything is filed, while Athena takes Buck to get all his legal documents changed. Once that’s done, they head home.
“Surprise!” May yells out when Buck enters.
Looking up, he sees a banner reading “Welcome to the family, Buck Grant!” hanging above the outside door. There’s a cake on the table with “congrats, it’s a boy!” written on it in blue writing. Out in the yard, there are a few people Buck knows from his time with the Grants. A few people both Michael and Athena work with, a good friend of Athena’s, Hen, who she met on the job, Mrs. Carter, and Carla.
“Wow. Thank you. I didn’t expect you to do any of this.” Buck tells them, tearing up.
“Of course we did. We had to welcome our third kid into the family somehow.” Athena tells him.
Buck grins. “I feel welcomed.”
Athena’s mom stops in front of them. “I’m sorry, Buck, for how I treated you last time I saw you.”
“It’s alright, Mrs. Carter. I understand. You were just being protective over your family.” Buck replies.
“Please, call me Beatrice. I’d say you’ve earned that right now that you’re officially part of the family. I know my Athena, and she wouldn’t have adopted you if you didn’t deserve it. So, welcome to the family, Buck.”
“Thank you, Beatrice. I appreciate your kind words. Hopefully I can continue to prove myself worthy to you.”
“I have no doubts.” Beatrice pats his arm, moving on to talk to May.
“When did she get in?” Buck asks Athena.
“She landed shortly after the judge signed off. Michael went to pick her up before he came back here. This was a group effort, though. It was Carla’s idea, to have a celebration for you getting adopted. Hen, she’s been by a couple times, helped to set up. She picked up the cake from the bakery. Come on, I’ll reintroduce you. I know you didn’t spend much time with her when she’s been by before.” Athena led Buck out to the yard, walking up to Hen. “Hen, this is my third kid, Buck. Buck, this is my friend Hen. We met on the job. She’s a firefighter.”
“Nice to meet you again, Buck.”
“You too.”
Athena leaves the two alone to talk, going to greet other guests.
“So Buck, how does it feel to be a Grant now?” Hen asks.
“It feels good. I know today just made it official, but I feel wanted for the first time. I have a family that I know will stick by me and support me.” Buck answers.
“Yeah. ‘Thena’s good at that. I’ve joked before that she takes on strays. This is the first kid she’s taken on, but she has a habit of picking up on the people that need her most and taking them on. That’s how we became friends. She took me on when I was a probie in ’09. When I went through a rough time with my girlfriend at the time, she supported me through it.”
“She’s a good person. She has a tough exterior, but if she deems you worthy, she’ll make sure you know.”
“That she will.” Hen confirms.
The party gets into full swing, people coming up to talk to Buck about his parents. Carla makes sure to spend some time with him as well, catching up, as people flit around them. As the evening goes on, Michael gets Buck’s help with the grill, making up burgers and hot dogs for the guests. Once that’s done, they serve cake. Soon enough, people are starting to trickle out. Eventually, it’s just the Grants, Beatrice, and Hen left. Hen insists on helping clean up. Eventually, with nothing else left to do, she leaves. Then, it’s off to bed for the youngest children, and the adults wind down, not too far behind the children.
Chapter Five
Once Buck starts his classes, he gets into a new routine. He goes into his classes, all in the morning, then gets home once those are done. He spends the rest of his day until supper studying and keeping up with his homework. Him and May do their homework together at the dinner table when she gets home from school. After supper is when the family will watch a movie together or play a game. Sometimes, they will do their own thing.
Weekends Buck dedicates to studying a bit more, with Sundays being a family day. Buck finally got up the courage to return to the center with the rest of the Grants, so now it’s a full family event. They go to church, get brunch, then go visit the center. Sundays leave them all full with a big family meal.
Buck is loving his classes and loves the stuff he’s learning. He passes everything in his first semester, then before he knows it, it’s exam time again. During exams, he spends a lot more time studying, ensuring he can pass his classes.
All too soon, it’s summer for Buck. Athena gets home from work one day, looking agitated.
“Everything okay?” Michael asks his wife.
“No it is not.”
“What happened?” Buck asks.
“The 118 firehouse got a new captain. I guess it was his first week on the job. We both responded to a call with a stabbing, which turned out not to be completely accurate. This new captain had wrangled a chicken, handing him off to me as soon as I got there, telling me he caught my guy. I had to wait for animal control to get there with a chicken in my hands.” Athena recounts, looking grumpier the more she talks.
Buck and Michael try to contain their laughter, but one look at each other and they’re bursting out laughing.
“Oh yeah, laugh it up you two. I don’t see you jumping in line to wrangle chickens.” Athena tells them.
“I’m sorry, Athena.” Michael apologizes between laughs. “It’s funny picturing you scowling down at a chicken.”
“Oh I bet.” Athena rolls her eyes, grabbing her supper.
“Anyways, how was your day, you two? Did the kids have fun at the zoo?”
“They did. Harry especially loved seeing the penguins they had there.” Buck answers.
“I think our oldest was more excited to see the animals than the younger two were.” Michael tells his wife.
Buck grins. “How could I not be? There’s so many cool animals to look at!”
The two adults share a look, smiling at each other before smiling at Buck.
“Oh, Michael, I want to ask you something.” Buck says.
“Okay. Go ahead.”
“I was wondering… Would you be willing to teach me to drive? I know how to from before, but I want someone to help me relearn how to drive with my amputation. I did research and as long as it’s an automatic, I can drive with a left leg amputation. If it’s a standard, I will have to look at hand pedals for the clutch.” Buck rambles.
“Yeah. I’d be honored to help you with that. We can do that this summer before school starts back again. That could take up our Saturdays.” Michael answers.
“If you’d like I can take you out on weekdays that Michael is working and I’m not, drive with you as well.” Athena pitches in.
“Yeah. I think I’d like that.” Buck smiles.
As he gets up from the table, he kisses Athena on the forehead. He wishes the two goodnight, tucking in for the night.
***
Michael reteaches Buck how to drive. He gets a book of driving rules and goes over that with him. Buck can’t help but think this will be a good test run for when May wants to learn to drive. Buck already knew everything and the process for driving, but needed a refresher, as well as help with confidence behind the wheel. It will be completely different from his last driving experience, when he had two legs instead of one. Because it was his left leg that was amputated, he had no troubles reaching the break and gas pedals, which was good. It was mostly just relearning how to be confident.
By the end of the summer, Buck felt confident in his ability to drive. He was considering using some of his birth givers money to put towards a used car for himself. It would make it easier to get to and from school. Not only that, but he could help Michael and Athena by driving May and Harry around when they needed.
A big thing Buck needed to consider with a used vehicle, was accessibility. While he rarely used his wheelchair now, there were some days he needed it. With going to school on bad days, a lot of the time he would just take some pain meds, get in his wheelchair, and go to school. Any vehicle he did get would have to be able to fit his wheelchair as well as his crutches. The crutches he could add a safety strap into the backseat. The wheelchair could go in the trunk, that way the small distance from the trunk to the front seat, he could use his crutches, then strap them into the backseat so they wouldn’t go flying in an accident.
Athena and Michael took him out one day, looking around at different used car lots. They made sure nothing was wrong with any vehicles Buck looked at, as well as that he wasn’t being taken advantage of with any of the costs. Eventually, Buck landed on a decent sized SUV. It would easily fit his wheelchair in the trunk. He would be able to strap it in, with a few additions. The backseat also had enough room to add straps for his crutches, which would rest on the floor. Plus, the backseat was roomy enough for both May and Harry to sit if he needed to take them anywhere.
Once school started, Buck was so busy that it flew by. He was studying, plus driving May to her extracurricular activities after school. She had one twice a week, and Michael had gone back to a 9-5 schedule, trusting Buck to look after the kids on the days that both him and Athena were working. Buck was more than happy to get to spend more time with them. The three of them would sit down together at the table, Harry colouring or doing any homework that a kindergartener would have, and him and May doing their homework together. Buck would step in and help when May had questions. Often, Buck would get started on prep for supper, sometimes getting May to help so she could learn as well. Once Michael got home, him and Buck would finish making whatever it was.
The routine he had gotten into was relaxing. While school is stressful, for the first time, Buck’s family life wasn’t stressful. He didn’t have to worry about not getting positive attention from his parents. He didn’t have to worry about getting hurt to feel any sort of concern from his parents, which he was working on in therapy, thank you very much. Buck felt relaxed and settled in his home life. He didn’t have to worry about whether or not his parents love him. He knew the Grants loved him. He was a part of their family. They didn’t see it as a burden to have him around. It was nice to feel wanted.
Buck had made some friends in his classes, sure, but they were friends. His family is really where he felt settled. Having friends, going out with them sometimes, was nice. As was the random hookup he would occasionally indulge in. Nothing compared to feeling wanted and loved by his family. He didn’t need to wonder at the end of the day if he was loved, if he was going to be okay. He knew that he was. If he had any issues, he could go to Athena or Michael and they would do everything they could to help.
Buck’s second year went by quicker than his first, it felt like. His summer passed quicker than that, watching May and Harry during the weekdays, taking them out to the zoo at least once a month. That was becoming a tradition. Sometimes, he would take Denny, Hen’s son, when both her and her fiancée wanted a break. Buck didn’t mind spending so much time around the kids. He loved them. He also knew that soon May wouldn’t want to spend as much time with her uncool older brother, so Buck was going to take what he could get for as long as he could. Buck slotted into his family perfectly. The perfect older brother figure to May and Harry.
His third and fourth years had a bit more struggle. While he passed all his classes and graduated on time, he still struggled with a lot of the coursework and had to study more and spend more time on homework. He made sure he had enough time for May and Harry, but it was less than he previously had. He would still sit down with them and do homework after school, Harry occasionally needing some help with his, May needing less help, wanting to be more independent.
The summer between his third and fourth year had Hen and her fiancée Karen getting married. They had waited until Denny could remember the ceremony, as well as have their friends and family attending. Buck noticed Athena and Karen comforting Hen throughout the night, her mom unable to attend the wedding. Overall, it was a beautiful ceremony and a fun reception. Buck was glad that he and the kids were invited.
May, Harry, Athena, Michael, and the Carters attended Buck’s graduation ceremony. As to be expected, once the ceremony was over, the Grants had a graduation party at their house. It was small, having Athena’s parents fly in for it. Carla was front and center, alongside Wilson’s. A few people Athena had introduced Buck to from the precinct. One of them was Marsha, the forensic scientist that had given him the motivation to pick forensic science over education.
“Hey, Buck. Excited to start your internship in a week?” Marsha asks, approaching him.
“Yeah. I’m really excited. Will I be working with you?” Buck asks.
“Mostly, yeah. Because this is specifically for the forensic scientist role, you won’t be doing much fieldwork. It will be a lot of lab work and writing reports for me. Once or twice, we may get you in the field just so you have that experience, but we won’t do that unless the scene is clear and there is a need for a forensic scientist instead of a CSI representative needed.” Marsha answers.
Buck nods. They move onto non-work-related topics, chatting away, having others join as well. Buck enjoys his party, getting to spend the time with the people who have slowly become more and more important to him over his time living with the Grants.
A week later, Buck starts up at his internship. The first month takes some adjusting, but he loves it. He gets to analyze the evidence they get in, and gets to work with different forensic scientists in different fields. Some just have a Bachelor’s degree, but there are some he works with that have different specialties. Going through this internship, Buck knows he made the right career choice. He gets to help people while doing something he loves. The internship also solidified his choice of specialty in his Master’s degree. He had chosen to work mostly in DNA analytics, and having experience during the internship working with that kind of work helped Buck understand he made the right choice.
At the end of his internship, he returns to school for a final year. This one harder, with all the research and studying he has to do, working directly with his professor. It’s a lot of work, and it’s hard work, but Buck knows it will pay off. He spends a lot of his time at the school, getting there early and usually coming home right before supper. Athena and Michael trust May to watch Harry for a couple hours after school until someone else gets home, and they make sure to pay her for babysitting her brother while everyone is out of the house on days that Athena works. May is happy with the little bit of spending money, but also happy to have a bit more responsibility, and feel more like an adult. She never has to watch him for more than two hours at a time, but it’s enough to make her feel more grown up.
While Buck is busier this year with his studies, weekends are still for his family. Saturdays is Buck’s day with May and Harry, occasionally Denny when he wants to join. The three will choose something to do. May tends to be a bit more reluctant, but still is willing to tag along. She may be a moody teenager now, but that doesn’t stop her from tagging along with her brothers when they have their weekly trips out. It’s becoming less and less common for her to go to the center with them, but she will at least once a month. Church is a whole family event, that even May doesn’t yet want to get out of. Buck may not be overly religious, but it makes him feel safe. He gets to be with his family, and in a place with so much love.
By the time Buck finishes up his Master’s thesis, he’s ready for a small break. With everything done, he applies to different jobs. He applies to the LAPD precinct Athena works at, the same place as his internship. He also applies to private facilities, as well as other precincts around LA. He doesn’t want to look outside of LA, since he’s built so much here that he doesn’t want to give up. It takes a month of applying to different jobs, and following up with those jobs, that he gets interviews. One of his interviews is with Athena’s precinct.
Buck ultimately decides to take the job with the LAPD precinct Athena works at. It’s close to home for now, and he knows how it works. He already knows people that work there, as well as knows the layout. They offer him good benefits and it’s good money.
With a steady job, Buck starts to consider moving out. He will need to find an accessible ground floor apartment with no stairs. It also needs hand rails in the bathroom for him. It’s a lot of work, something he will get Michael and Athena’s help on. Buck’s been so busy that it takes a bit before he notices the tension between his adopted parents.
“Hey, can I talk to you two about something?” Buck asks, just barely catching them both in the same room.
They share a hesitant look, “Yeah, sure Buckaroo. What’s going on?” Athena asks.
“Sit.” Buck gestures to the kitchen table, taking a seat himself.
They both sit, hesitating slightly, taking seats across from Buck, beside each other.
“I know this is probably none of my business, but I’ve been noticing some tension between you two and I wanted to make sure you’re both okay.”
“You’re right. It is none of your business.” Athena snaps.
“It’s okay, ‘Thena. He’s just worried about us.” Michael places his hand on Athena’s. She pulls it out from under him.
“Are you two getting a divorce?” Buck asks.
“What? What makes you think that?” Athena snaps again.
“Well, you barely look at each other, you don’t touch, you try not to be in the same room together. That makes me think you’re getting a divorce.” Buck lists.
“No. We’re not getting a divorce.” Michael reassures. “I think we should tell him, ‘Thena. He may be able to help with the kids’ reactions.”
“I don’t know. It’s not his responsibility to manage the kids’ reactions. I think we should wait a little longer.”
“How much longer? We’ve been talking about sitting them down for months, and it gets nowhere. How much longer should I have to wait?” Michael snaps.
“Well, you’ve waited this long already. What’s a little longer?” Athena snaps back.
“Hold on, I don’t want this getting worse. May and Harry are upstairs. If it’s getting this bad between you two, maybe you should consider marriage counselling.” Buck suggests. “I can talk to Dr. Copeland next time I see her, get her recommendations on marriage counsellors you two could go see.”
“I think that would be a good idea. What about you, Athena?” Michael turns to his wife.
“I’ll think about it. I’m going to bed.” Athena gets up from the table, leaving the two of them alone.
“Is this something I should be worried about? She seems angry.” Buck asks Michael.
“Don’t worry about it. Athena’s right, you shouldn’t have to solve our marriage problems for us. I’ll try to convince Athena to go to counselling with me. Thank you for suggesting that, Buck.” Michael tells him.
“You’re welcome. If you’re okay, I’m going to head to bed. Goodnight, Michael.” Buck says, heading into his room for the night.
***
Ultimately, Michael ends up convincing Athena to try marriage counselling. Buck gives them the list of marriage counsellors Dr. Copeland provided for him. Buck starts to slowly notice a difference in the two. They still don’t touch much, but they don’t actively avoid each other. Athena still seems a little angry, but seems to be doing better. A month in marriage counselling twice a week helps, at least.
While Buck has been distracted with his job and parents, he hasn’t been distracted enough to not pick up on May’s behaviour. She stopped coming to Sibling Saturday, as they got used to calling it, but instead would sit in her room alone. She wasn’t going out with friends or participating in extracurricular activities Buck knew she loved. It takes one Saturday when Harry is having a sleepover at Denny’s for Buck to corner his sister.
“What’s going on, May?” Buck asks.
“Nothing. I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She brushes off, avoiding eye contact.
“Come on, I know you better than that. You’ve been skipping Sibling Saturday, and you’ve been shutting yourself up in your room.”
“Nothing’s going on. I’m fine. I just don’t want to spend time with my lame brothers anymore.”
“Okay. So what about not hanging with your friends, huh? I want to make sure you’re doing okay. I love you, May. You’re my sister. If something is going on with you, I want to know.”
At his words, May bursts into tears. Buck immediately moves to her bed, putting an arm around her, letting her cry into his shoulder.
“Shhh. It’s okay. Let it out.” Buck tells her, rubbing her back.
He gives her time to calm down, rubbing her back the whole time. Once she does, she picks up her phone, holding it between her hands.
“What’s going on, May?” Buck prompts gently.
“I… There’s a girl at school. Layla. She’s been…. Well, here.” May opens her phone, handing it to her brother.
Buck scans over the messages he sees open. His blood boils at what he sees written there. “How long has this been going on, May?” Buck asks, trying to reign in his anger.
“Since the beginning of the year…”
Buck closes his eyes. Opening them again, he turns to his sister, a serious look on his face.
“May… This is cyberbullying. What she’s telling you to do… it’s illegal. The threats, she can be charged for this. We need to talk to someone. Athena, maybe.”
“No! Please don’t. I don’t want to make it worse. She’ll make it worse.”
“Okay. If not Athena, then someone else. I could talk to Maynard, or Lou, or Rick. Someone needs to know what’s going on. This can’t continue.”
“Buck, please. Drop it.”
“May. She’s hurting you. Be honest. Have you considered doing anything to hurt yourself?” Buck prompts, trying to be gentle.
May looks away, nodding slightly. “I can handle it on my own.”
“Can you? You just confirmed to me that you’ve thought about hurting yourself. You don’t have to do this on your own. You have people here that want to help.”
“Why should I report it? Her father is a lawyer. Nothing will come of it anyways.” May asks.
“Because. She might be doing this to others. If you report it, and others come forward with evidence, there may be nothing her big shot lawyer father can do to help her. Please let me help you.”
“What would we need to do?” May asks after a beat of silence.
“Well, first, I’m going to take screenshots of everything she’s sent you. Then, I’m going to send it to myself.” May nods at her brother’s words. “Tomorrow morning, I will tell Michael and Athena we need a brother-sister bonding day. Then, we will go to the precinct and report what’s been going on. We leave them with the evidence and your statement, then go from there. Also, I will call Dr. Copeland tomorrow to get you in for a session so you can talk this through with her.”
“No, Buck, I don’t need therapy.” May tries to refuse.
“That’s non-negotiable. You do need therapy. This is a lot, May, something no teenager should go through. Just try one session. If you don’t like Dr. Copeland, we can try someone else, but you’re getting therapy.” Buck insists.
“Fine.”
Buck and May sit together for over an hour, May leaning on his shoulder.
“I’m okay now. I’m going to bed.” May tells Buck.
“Okay. If you need me, please don’t be afraid to come get me. You know where I am.” Buck tells her, bending down to kiss her forehead. “I love you, May.”
“Love you too. Now go, stop worrying.”
“I can’t make any promises on that.” Buck informs as he leaves, closing her door.
Buck goes to the kitchen, grabbing some water.
“Everything okay with May?” Athena asks.
“Yeah, everything is fine. I’m going to take her out for breakfast, then we’re going to spend the day together, out doing something. We’ll figure it out as we go, I think.” Buck tells her.
“Okay. Any special reason it’s just the two of you?” Athena asks.
“She hasn’t been going on our Sibling Saturdays, so I figured I’d take her out, just the two of us. Get some bonding time in with her.” Buck responds.
“Okay. You two have fun tomorrow.”
“Do you have anything fun planned tomorrow?” Buck asks.
“Nothing fun. Just marriage counselling. I may stop by Hen’s early and spend the afternoon there, let Harry play with Denny a little longer.”
“Okay. Well, goodnight, Athena.”
“Goodnight Buck.”
***
The next day, Buck takes May out for breakfast early. The mood is a bit tense once they finish their meal and head to the precinct. Before heading in, Buck puts a call in to Dr. Copeland. She had an opening for later that afternoon that May takes.
“Hey Buck, May. Is there something I can help you with?” Captain Maynard intercepts the two not far into the entrance.
“Yeah. We would like to report a crime. Cyberbullying, death threats, and goading someone into suicide.” Buck tells Maynard, getting straight to the point.
“Oh. Follow me. I’ll get detective Romero. He’s here today.” Maynard looks between the two, leading them over to Romero. The captain speaks to him quietly, before leading the three into a private room.
“So. What can I do for you?” Romero asks.
Buck nudges May.
“I… I would like to report someone for harassment and bullying.” May speaks quietly.
“Okay. What kind of harassment and bullying?” Romero asks, writing everything down.
“Uh… Text messages, mostly. If she sees me in the hallway, she’ll push me sometimes. Name calling.” May tells the detective.
“What kind of things has she been texting? Do you have the texts?” Romero prompts.
“I sent you an email when we were brought in. That should have all the texts that May has received so far.” Buck tells him.
Romero nods, checking his phone. “Just got it.” He looks up at May, “I’m going to read these, now. Some I may read out loud to Maynard.”
May nods confirmation. Buck grabs her hand.
“Okay. Starting to read. ‘No one wants you around, you stupid bitch, why don’t you do something about it.’, ‘if you don’t do something about it soon, I will take it into my own hands.’ ‘You’re not important’ ‘No one likes you’. That’s the bulk of them. They all repeat similar concepts over the last ten months. They seem to go back to early September.”
“Do you know if there are others?” Maynard asks May.
She shakes her head. “I-I don’t know. Maybe? Not that I know of.”
“Okay. Would you like to press charges against her for this?” Maynard asks gently.
May nods. “Will they stick? Her dad’s a lawyer.”
“We’ll do our best to make them stick. We can’t promise anything, but we’ll try.” Romero reassures the two.
They go over more details, and it’s late morning before they’re done.
“I’ll walk you out.” Maynard tells them. “Am I to assume your mom doesn’t know?”
“She does not. We didn’t tell her.” Buck responds.
“You should. She’ll probably end up seeing the report next time she’s in so it would be a good idea to tell her before she finds out herself. I’ll try my best to keep her uninvolved, but I can’t make promises.” Maynard warns.
“I’ll think about it.” May replies.
Once the two leave, they grab a quick lunch, heading to Dr. Copeland’s office once they were done.
“Okay. I told her to bill my card for the appointment today. I’ll walk you in and wait there until she calls you in, but after that, I’ll be waiting out here. Just come on out once you’re done, okay?” Buck instructs.
“Okay.”
The two walk into the building, greeting the receptionist. They wait until Dr. Copeland comes out to grab May, then Buck waits in his vehicle for May to finish with her appointment. Once she’s done, she gets into his passenger seat.
“That was hard. Ready to go?” May asks, buckling herself in.
“Yeah.” Buck starts on his way to home.
“Do you think you can be there when I talk to mom and dad? I don’t want to do that alone.” May asks after a bit of silence.
“Of course I can!” Buck agrees quickly.
“Okay. I want to tell them tonight.” May informs.
“Okay. Whenever you want.”
Michael and Athena are sitting at the table with Harry when they get in.
“Uh oh, is someone in trouble?” Buck jokes at the scene.
“Come sit. We would like to talk to you three for a moment.” Athena directs.
Buck looks at May. The two sit down.
“Is it something bad?” Harry asks.
“No, honey. It’s nothing bad. It’s something me and your mother have been working through for a month now.” Michael tells the kids.
“Are you getting a divorce?” May asks.
“We’re getting to that. Just let us explain.” Athena puts her hand on May’s across the table.
“So first off, I want to tell you three something about myself. It’s something I recently came to terms with, and it’s something I went to your mother about. We have been helping each other with this for the last month as we come to terms with everything.” Michael takes a moment to pause, looking each of his kids in the eyes. “I’m gay.”
The kids sit in silence for a moment.
Harry breaks the silence. “So you are getting a divorce.”
“Now, hold on a moment. We haven’t even begun to discuss divorce yet.” Athena tells her kids.
“But you will, right? That’s why you’re telling us?” May crosses her arms.
The two parents look at each other. “We don’t know. We’re currently working through how we feel with this revelation before we start talking about divorce. If it’s what’s best for the family, then yes, we will.” Athena tells her kids.
“If I may insert here.” Buck gets the go ahead. “What’s best for the family is you both being happy. If you can do that while staying together, or living together, or if it’s better being apart, don’t worry about us. We’ll be okay as long as you’re both happy.”
“Thank you, Buck. We’ll keep that in mind. Any questions?” Athena asks.
“If you get a divorce, will I have two rooms?” Harry asks.
“We haven’t considered that yet. We’re just working on being better right now.” Michael tells his youngest. “Anything else?”
Harry shakes his head. “Can I go play in my room now?”
“Yes you can.” Athena answers.
Harry leaves. Before anyone else can get up from the table, May speaks up.
“Can I actually talk to you two about something?”
“Yeah, of course baby. Is this something Buck can hear?” Athena asks.
“Yes. I would like him here for this.”
Athena and Michael give their daughter their full attention, concerned looks on their face.
“There’s a girl at school. She’s been bullying and harassing me.” May looks down at the table.
“How long has this been going on?” Michael asks.
“Since September.” May answers.
“What!? Why didn’t you tell us earlier? You could have come to us.” Athena asks.
“I didn’t want to bother you with it. You all seemed stressed.”
“What kind of bullying?” Athena questions.
“Death threats… Other threats… name calling.” May answers. She shows them some of the texts.
“What’s her name? Oh, I’m going to kill that kid for hurting my baby.” Athena keeps ranting.
“Mom.” May tries to get Athena’s attention. “Mom!”
“Athena, listen, please.” Buck tries to interject. “MOM! Stop!”
Athena stills. “Did you just… Did you just call me mom?” Athena looks to Buck.
He nods, looking down. “I hope that’s okay.”
“Of course it is!” Athena cries, walking around the table to hug her two kids.
“Way to take the pressure off me, bro.” May jokes with a smile.
“So, what prompted you to come to us now?” Michael asks his daughter, bringing the attention back to May.
“Buck took me to the precinct this morning. I reported her for everything she’s been saying and doing.” May tells her parents.
“Oh. Well, thank you for telling us.” Michael tells his daughter.
Athena sits back down. For the rest of the afternoon, the four of them discuss everything they need to involving May’s bullying situation. It’s tiring, but necessary. At the end of the night, Buck feels like his family will be okay.
