Reading Time: 124 Minutes

Title: Broken Around The Edges
Author: Meri
Fandom: Star Trek: Strange New Worlds, Star Trek: The Original Series.
Genre: Drama, First Time, Romance, Slash
Relationship(s): Dr. Leonard McCoy/Captain Christopher Pike
Content Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Dubious consent & Alien sex pollen. Please see master post for additional information
Beta: Many thanks to my betas CordeliaV and Grammarly and Microsoft Read Aloud.
Word Count: 86,550
Summary: What starts as a one-night stand for Cadet/Doctor Leonard McCoy and Captain Christopher Pike, ends up becoming something so much more than they could have ever imagined. Their lives together take some strange and wonderful (and sometimes not so wonderful) turns as they navigate through Starfleet, their family and friends, and their service on the Enterprise. Through it all, they know fate is something that won’t be denied. But maybe, just maybe, with enough hard work, it can be fixed after the fact.
Artist: Saydria Wolfe

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Chapter Six – Saying Goodbye

This was harder than Chris thought it would be. He could not believe that he hadn’t said anything yet and now, Len would be leaving in the next few days, and he had to say something. But it felt like he lied somehow by not saying something sooner.

They were so emotionally involved. So much more so than he’d thought they’d be at this point. Chris was in love with him. He hadn’t said that yet, either.

“Chris? What the hell is going on with you?” Len said, his tone grumpy. “I know you have something to tell me, and I am starting to really worry about what it is.”

Chris closed his eyes for a second. That was a mistake. He saw the vision start to form again. “It’s not good. I should have said something sooner, but I wasn’t sure we’d last the eight weeks of your rotation here.”

“What? We went through all that paperwork, everyone knowing, and all the fucking teasing from your crew, and now you tell me that you didn’t think we’d last. What the hell is wrong with you, man?”

Len could be so irascible when he wanted to be. Which unfortunately was a lot of the time. And oh God, Chris absolutely adored him for it. It never failed to make him smile, even now.

“Look,” he said, evenly. “This isn’t easy to say, and it isn’t going to be easy for you to know.”

Len folded his arms over his chest. “Tell me and be done with it.”

“There are parts of this that are so classified, I simply can’t tell you everything. But suffice it to say that I was given a vision of what was going to happen to me later in life.”

“How? Where?”

Chris took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “The Klingon Time Monks on Boreth. They tend the time crystals.”

“God Almighty! That is fucking insane. I thought that was a myth.” Len’s eyes were wide, and he looked shocked.

“It’s not a myth. I was told that I could walk away and possibly change my fate. But if I took the crystal. My fate would be sealed. I needed the crystal bad enough to seal my own fate by taking it.”

“What on earth did you need a time crystal for?” Len asked, his voice not steady.

“It’s classified. Suffice it to say it was world-ending. All sentient life in the galaxy would be eradicated.” There was a part of Chris that wanted to tell him everything, but that was out of the question.

“Oh, well of course it damned well was.” Len stretched the words out, but his irritation was evident. “What did you see?”

“In just over seven years, while I’m on a cadet inspection tour of engineering, a battle plate explodes, and I save most of the cadets. I am left completely disabled by the delta radiation poisoning and in constant pain in the aftermath. I am confined to a life-support wheelchair, so dosed up on pain drugs that I can’t function anymore.”

Len sat back on the sofa. He closed his eyes and took several deep breaths. “If you know this, then why can’t you do something about it. Why is it unchangeable?”

“Because to change it would change not only my fate but someone else’s as well. He would end up dying in my place. And he is needed in the future to negotiate a peace between two peoples and that must happen. Beyond that, I would not, could not, sacrifice his life for my own.” Even if it wasn’t Spock, whom he loved like a son, he would not sacrifice anyone to save himself.

A shuddering breath tore out of Len, but he nodded. “So, it has to happen. And you have to let it play out. But what about your recovery? Do you have to be left in constant pain and suffering for the rest of your life? Or can you be helped with the radiation’s effects and maybe be, if not cured, still able to have and live your life?”

No one had ever thought to ask that. It was either being crippled in the accident or not being there at all. “There is no recovery from delta radiation poisoning.”

“There isn’t here and now. But there could be in the future. I know at least four different planetary research centers working on it. It’s complicated. And right now, the results are still mostly what you described, and that’s if you even survive it. I started looking at the problem after Ana’s death –”

“Ana? Who was she?”

“The night we met. I was out of my mind with everything, and her death was the final straw.”

It clicked in Chris’ mind. “The twelve-year-old girl. The one who died without regaining consciousness.”

Len nodded and looked at his hands. “After she died, I started to look into ways that I could have helped her. And there was virtually nothing I could have done. In my spare time, I started to contact other worlds to see what they know, to see what others were doing.”

“It’s pretty rare that it happens.”

“It does happen. More than you think.”

“You’re still working on it?” Chris asked tentatively.

“It just got moved to my front burner. Even with only seven years, I’ll have more to work with than they would have had without anyone here even thinking about it. It’s not going to be enough time for a cure. But some worlds are further ahead than ours,” Len said.

After a pause, Len continued, “Mr. Spock’s fiancé T’Pring is going to write me an introduction for someone at the Vulcan Academy of Science that is working on a new means of cleansing different kinds of burn wounds. It’s not exactly radiation poisoning, but it could be adapted.”

Chris had told Spock about what was going to happen. He could not believe Spock hadn’t made a connection between them. “Spock knows about this. He never said anything to me about your research.”

“Why would he?” Len asked.

“He knows what’s going to happen to me.”

“He never mentioned it to me. But I can see why he wouldn’t. I also told him about Ana. He just asked to be kept abreast of what I find. He seemed pretty interested.”

“He will be a great resource for you.”

“He’s…an interesting person.”

He was at that. But all of this didn’t seem possible. He could not believe that he’d never considered that there might be a way to survive it better than the vision. Chris sat back. “Thank you.”

“Don’t go putting the cart before the horse, darlin’. It’s only going to be better. Maybe only slightly better. It’s not going to be great. And no matter what, the recovery will be long and hard.”

“Better is something to hope for. You’ve given me hope,” his voice cracked.

Len reached for him, pulling him into his arms. “I don’t want to give you false hope. I know more than I did a year and a half ago. I know that there is some hope of cleansing at least some of the poison out and stopping the cell disruption. The more we can get rid of, the more chance you have for some kind of recovery. I know that if we can find a way to get rid of enough of it, we can regenerate skin and bone and tissue.”

Chris nodded, back under control. He leaned forward and kissed Len.

“You’ve been carrying this the whole time? How long?” Len asked between kisses.

“Over two years. The night we met, I had just finished the inquiry into the Discovery incident.” He probably shouldn’t even mention that. But damn, they had both been messed up when they’d met.

“What about the Discovery?”

“I can’t talk about it. It’s all connected and completely classified.”

Len gave him a look. “Okay, fine. Let’s just drop that. What are we going to do when I leave?”

Chris appreciated the subject change. “You’ll start back at the Academy, and I’ll take the Enterprise back out into space, exploring wherever they send us. Hopefully, we’ll find time to meet. You graduate next May. I’m sure you can request to be put back on the Enterprise, if you want to.”

“I definitely will do that. I hope to be at least a lieutenant, maybe even lieutenant commander by then.”

That wasn’t how it worked. “It’s going to take longer to get to lieutenant commander. Probably two three years out, maybe more from Lieutenant.”

Len looked a little disappointed in that. But there wasn’t much that could be done about the command structure.

Len sighed. “I do plan to see if I can get at least a week, maybe two during the winter holidays. I have my daughter this year. If you can get off, I’d be pleased to introduce you. You’ll probably have to meet Jocelyn as well.”

“Meeting Joanna might make it worth it to have to meet your ex-wife.” He sighed. “You think Jocelyn will let you have her?”

“I think the Starfleet lawyers will make her do it.”

“Good. I’ll request leave for that time.”

****

Len put the last of his things into his duffle bag. He’d already cleaned out his other quarters.

He had to admit, he’d learned a lot in the time he’d been here. He’d been allowed to go on several away missions. Met some interesting people. Handed out a lot of vaccines and other meds. He’d saved several people. Including Chris. Even he could tell it had done a lot for his confidence, not as a doctor so much as being a member of the crew of a starship.

The thing he’d hated the worst was that right from the start, everyone knew everything about his and Chris’ business. On the other hand, for good or bad, they stood by him and the captain.

In a few hours, the Enterprise would dock at the space dock above San Francisco and the cadets would disembark and return to Starfleet Academy. They had two weeks of leave and then classes started again. He and Chris would spend a week at the house in San Francisco and then Chris had to leave again, and it would be a long four months until the winter holidays.

“Almost ready to go?” Chris asked coming into his quarters.

Len still didn’t think of them as anything other than Chris’ quarters. Maybe when he came back in May after graduation.

“Yes. I’m almost ready to go.” He looked around one more time and then sighed as he zipped up his fleet duffel bag. “Not that I don’t want to finish up, but damn…”

“I know. It’s going to be a long four months until we can be together again.”

“How long until we disembark?”

“I need to be on the bridge for docking in about two-two and a half hours.”

He turned towards Chris. “You’re on duty?”

“Technically. Yes. But I doubt anyone would deny me a lunch break.”

Len smiled widely at that. “Is that what we’re going to call it.”

“Or I could visit my favorite doctor for an exam of some kind.” Chris was already pulling his command shirt over his head. And Len was already moving towards him. They never did this on fleet time. The whole eight weeks had been aboveboard as Chris said it had to be.

He put his hands on Chris’ face tenderly and held him for a count before he leaned in and kissed him, deepening the kiss as soon as his lips touched. There just wasn’t going to be enough time for all the kisses that he wanted to give or get. Even a lifetime wouldn’t be enough.

“I haven’t said it in words, yet –” Chris started.

Len didn’t think he’d ever feel this for anyone again. “I know. And yes, I feel the same way. I have no idea how this happened in so short a time.”

Chris leaned in and kissed him again. They exchanged a few slow, lazy kisses, holding each other. “You stopped me a minute ago. Do you want to hear the words?”

“Only if you want to say them, my darlin’.” Len kissed him, sliding his tongue in to tease before pulling back enough to look into Chris’ eyes.

“I love you,” Chris said. “No more than that, I’m completely in love with you.”

And that just slid very nicely down his spine and made him feel all warm and satisfied. “I love you, my darlin’ captain. Just the same. And I never, ever thought I’d be able to say that again to anyone. I am so glad you were there that night.”

“I’m glad I was there, too. To help you.” Chris started to say something else, but Len didn’t want to talk right now. He pulled him tighter into his arms and kissed him again and again, sliding a hand under Chris’ undershirt.

“Let me?” Chris’s hands were moving down his back.

“Anything you want,” Len said.

“Oh, I want a lot. I want all of you.”

“You can have all of me.” And that was the truth. Everything that had brought Len to this minute was what this man had done for him.

*****

Leaving the ship was harder than Len thought it would be. Even with Chris coming with him.

The whole crew had a week’s shore leave on Earth. Most had family or friends to see.

“It was great to work with you, doc,” Ortegas said. “We’re all going to miss you until you come back to us.”

“And I will. If I have anything to say about it.”

She stepped forward and hugged him. He pulled her in tight for a moment. “You’ve been a good friend, Erica.”

“You too, doc. Drop me a comm once in a while and let me know how things are going?”

“I will. And you as well. I want to hear from you.” And Len did. Erica had become a good friend in a short amount of time.

“Take care! Both of you. I’ll see you in a week, Captain.” She shouldered her duffle and waved as she walked away.

“I had no idea you were that close to Lieutenant Ortegas,” Chris said, watching her walk away.

“After she did my consent interview, she decided that I was her responsibility.”

Chris laughed. “She was that protective of you?”

“Yeah. It was kind of weird. But you know, it was kind of nice, too.”

“Doc,” Mark Jeffries called, “Wanted to say goodbye. And thanks again for saving my life. Hopefully, I’ll see you on campus. I know it’s not the same for you. But there’s a group of us cadets who have served on the Enterprise, who are going to get together to have a drink. Not this week, of course, but after the Enterprise goes. You’d be welcome to join us. If you wanted. Which, I thought maybe you did. It’s not just these cadets,” he said as he waved one of his huge hands around. “It’s all of us who are still at the Academy.”

Len laughed. Jeffries was always like that. “Sure, Mark. Send me a comm, if I’m not working, I’ll try and make it.”

“Really? That would be so great. I’ll do it. See you later, doc.” He turned to Chris. “Thanks for everything, sir. It was good serving on the Enterprise.”

“I understand you’ve requested to come back to us when you graduate in May.”

“Yes, sir. I want to serve on her again. I hope I’ve done well enough for that. But if not, maybe I’ll be able to transfer in a few years. It’s just been great this time. I can’t wait to get back out into space. Thanks.” He waved to Len as he walked away.

Chris looked after him. “He seems to have made a full recovery. The two men from security have been dealt with. I will not have people like that on my ship.”

“Good to hear. What happened to them?”

“I actually can’t talk about ongoing personnel issues with you. But suffice it to say, Number One is on it,” Chris said. “I’m surprised you agreed to meet with the other cadets.”

“If I’d made any effort to know my fellow cadets, I would have known immediately something was wrong with Mark. Even as tired as I was. He is always like that. Just now, he was kind of restrained with you.”

“That was restrained?” Chris asked, sounding incredulous.

Len just nodded.

“I can see you’re going to make an effort to get to know more people. I’m sure that will be good for you.”

“Yeah. The more I know about someone I serve with, the more likely it is that I’ll be able to see when something is wrong.”

“Time constraints?” Chris asked.

“I think I have to make time for this. And I’ll need something to fill the time between work and classes.” Len knew there were a lot of hours in the day to fill. “I know I am not going to sleep well.”

“Why not? You’ve slept well here.”

“Only because you were there. I don’t sleep well when I’m alone,” Len said.

“I wish there was something I could do about it during the coming year.”

“Comm sex?” Len suggested, only half serious.

“Seriously? You’d do that.” Because Chris, for all his experience, seemed a little shocked.

“I would, if you would.” Though really, he’d never done anything like that. But he was going to miss Chris so much.

“We could try. There are security protocols that could be put in place for that. I’ve just never considered doing that with anyone. Never had anyone to consider it with.”

“We’ll figure it out together, I guess.”

He smiled and leaned forward and kissed Len. “Let’s get out of here. And get a cab to my house.”

*****

After two days of sleep and sex and good food, Len was starting to really appreciate not being under constant scrutiny. Unfortunately, Chris was called into a meeting at headquarters this morning about some damned thing or other. Len woke to find Chris gone and vaguely recalled Chris kissing him before he left.

The door downstairs opened and closed. He could see on the security display panel on the wall, that someone had been allowed to enter. He expected to hear Chris on the stairs, but after a minute or two, he wondered who else might have access to the house.

He put on some clothes and went downstairs to find a tall, thin, older but really good-looking woman in a captain’s uniform, in the kitchen attempting to make coffee. “Do you know how that thing works,” he asked.

“Who the fuck are you?” she snapped, standing up straight. Clearly startled.

“Who are you?”

“I asked first. But I’m Captain Batel, Starfleet.”

“Doctor McCoy, also Starfleet.”

“The cadet?” She looked so incredulous. “I didn’t believe you existed.”

Well, that wasn’t the brightest thing he’d ever heard anyone say. “Of course, I exist. I’m standing right in front of you. Why on earth would you think otherwise.”

“Because rumor has it that Chris Pike filled out paperwork with you.” She raised an eyebrow at him like she was some kind of Vulcan or something.

“Yes. So?”

“It’s true?” she choked. “That seemed extremely unlikely to me. I’ve known Chris since the Academy. He would never get involved with a cadet.”

Len folded his arms over his chest. “I guess you don’t know him as well as you think you do.”

She eyed him up and down. “Possibly not. I assume, he’s still pissed at me for doing my job.”

That’s right, change the subject when you don’t like the answers you’re getting. He wondered if they taught that in command school. “That doesn’t sound like him.”

“You’d think not. But don’t mess with his XO. It’s not my fault she lied about being genetically modified.”

“Commander Chin-Riley?”

“You were on the ship?”

“Eight weeks training rotation. I’m medical so I didn’t have to do any other rotations.”

“You did the surgery for Chris for the projectile injury?”

A shiver slid down his spine. God, he still hated to think about that day. “Yes.”

She started to say something else, but he held up a hand. “I’m not going to discuss that with you. It’s privileged medical information.”

“Fair enough. How did you end up in Starfleet? You’re old to be a cadet. And by that, I mean like ten years too old.”

“I am not going to tell you that either. I don’t know you. You can look up whatever you want in whatever files you have access to.”

“I could order you too?” But she didn’t sound like she would.

How insubordinate would he be if he told her to fuck off. “What possible difference could that make to you?”

“Just curiosity. You’re going to get a lot of that about yourself. You’ve captured the heart of someone most of us didn’t think was ever going to give in to something so pedestrian as love. He’s lived for Starfleet, honor, and duty and exploring space, for his entire adult life.”

“Um…I don’t know what to say to that. Beyond the obvious that he just hadn’t met the right person,” Len said.

“You don’t have to say anything. You obviously are not an ordinary cadet.”

“Now, ain’t that the truth,” he said. “Do you want to leave him a comm? Or are you just going to sit here until he gets back?”

“Where is he anyway?”

“Starfleet HQ. Some meeting or other,” Len said. He didn’t know any details.

“Any idea when he’s going to be back?”

“Not really.”

“I doubt leaving him another comm will do me much good. I’ve left quite a number in the last couple of months.”

Len didn’t say anything. Chris could be very stubborn when he wanted to be.

“I envy him,” she said finally.

“Why him?” He knew he shouldn’t engage with her. But he was just too damned curious. Chris hadn’t mentioned anyone specifically. But Len knew that he had friends-with-benefits arrangements with a couple of other captains. Given everything, he assumed she was one of them.

“Because you’ve pushed him out of his comfort zone. I’d love to have someone do that for me.” She laughed, maybe a little bitterly. “It was never going to be Chris. In fact, he was my comfort zone. Neither one of us could do that for the other.”

Well, she just confirmed it. “Now that the convenience he gave you is gone, you might find someone else to do it,” Len said.

She looked at him. “Maybe. I should go. I’ll figure out a way to see him later.”

*****

Chris walked into the restaurant’s bar and glanced around. It was darker than the restaurant but not dark enough to obscure vision. The tables and chairs were spaced so that there was enough space to get around without stumbling unless you were really intoxicated. It was mostly empty too, with the lunch crowd gone and only the early dinner crowd there.

He saw Phil Boyce stand, and wave him over to his table.

They embraced. “It’s good to see you, Phil. Been too long.”

“Almost a year, right?” Phil waved him to a seat. “But I’ve been here.”

The waiter came by and got their drink orders.

“So, speaking of here,” Chris said, taking a sip. “Are you planning to come back to the Enterprise?”

Phil looked away and shook his head. “As I said when I left, I’m done with space exploration. I just miss Adriana too much to be gone for months at a time.”

Chris nodded. Unsurprised, but still disappointed. Phil was one of his closest friends. Someone he could trust to always tell him the truth. “I’m sure she’s glad that you’re going to stay home. How is she doing?”

His wife was a psychologist. She worked for Starfleet as a civilian. “She is good. And yeah, glad I’m going to stay home. Plus, I like the Academy.”

“Are you enjoying teaching that much?” Chris asked.

That got a smile from Phil. “As it happens, yes. I have several students I’m advising. That’s rewarding in itself. Plus, my research.”

“Doctors and their research,” Chris muttered.

“Speaking of the Academy. I hear you’re involved with a cadet.” Oh, and that was said in the most casual tone imaginable.

Not like he wasn’t expecting that question, either. “I’m sure everyone in the fleet knows that by now. Go ahead and ask whatever you need to ask.”

“I don’t have to ask anything. I know Doctor McCoy,” Phil said with a telling smirk.

Wait. What? Len had never mentioned him to Chris at all. “I’m sorry. How do you know Len?”

Phil sat back and took a long sip, pausing dramatically. “I’m his academic advisor. I also recruited him.”

“Since when do you recruit anyone.” Because as far as Chris knew that was handled by a whole different section other than medical.

“Since I was there. He was sitting at a bar in the hotel after he’d just done a demonstration on tissue graphing into the cortex. The steadiest God-damned hands I had ever seen.”

Chris knew all about how steady those hands were. He waited.

“He was drinking systematically. Like he wanted to get very drunk. Very fast.”

Chris nodded. He’d only seen that once. But it had been enough.

“I asked him about what the problem was. And he gave me a complicated story about his ex-wife, her powerful father, and that they were systematically taking everything he had away from him. And the father had apparently threatened the hospital where he worked with losing his massive donation, if they didn’t fire him. His supervisor, the head of surgery at Atlanta General, had been holding the administration off for months but she wasn’t going to be able to do it forever.”

Phil sighed and continued, “Anyway, he told me that he would give anything to be able to just disappear so that maybe then they would leave him alone,” Phil said. “I told him if he was serious, I could help him with that.”

Chris nodded for him to go on.

Which Phil did. “I said that we could do this two ways. One, he could come in as a civilian and work for Starfleet Medical. They would not be able to get him fired, because we don’t care about the kind of crap his ex-father-in-law was spouting, we weren’t funded by any private donations. But he would still be on his own for dealing with them. Or he could come in as a cadet and when he graduated as an officer in three years, he would have the whole weight of Starfleet at his back. They would not be able to touch him. Hell, they would have trouble even finding him, if he wanted.”

“And he took option two?” Which made sense with what Chris knew of the situation.

“I got him into the Academy about two weeks later.”

“Two weeks? I’ve never heard of anything happening that fast.”

“I pulled in a lot of favors. We need people like him, with the skills he has. He already was one of the best surgeons I have ever seen. He started working shifts at the hospital in his first semester. But he was in a pretty bad downward spiral. Every time he talked to that woman, it got worse.”

“What happened?”

Phil shrugged. “I don’t know. Sometime in mid-November his first semester, he turned it around.”

Chris sat back and breathed out sharply.

“Chris? What do you know about this? Do you know what happened?” Phil asked.

“I have an idea.” He didn’t say anything else. How much of this was Phil’s business? But he was Len’s advisor. Where was the line? “I happened.”

“Excuse me. What the hell does that mean?”

“I met him at Kelso’s in mid-November and well, doing the same thing with the alcohol. He’d had a really bad day. I took him home and fed him and he spent one night with me.”

“There’s more to it than that. A one-night stand, no matter how good, isn’t going to fix what was wrong with him.”

“I don’t know, then. I know that he’s told me I pulled him back from the edge that night. I don’t know how, or what I did.” And Chris had thought about it a lot over time. “I never thought I’d see him again. But eight weeks ago, he showed up on the Enterprise.”

“Cadet rotations?”

“Except he’s in medical so he just worked there with M’Benga. Fixed the crew as needed. Me too. Fished a bunch of pieces of projectile slugs out of my chest and gut. Saved my life.”

“Steadiest hands.” Phil met his eyes. “So now?”

Chris shrugged. “I have no idea what I’m doing with this.”

Phil let out a long slow whistle. “There is a huge amount of speculation on what’s going on between the two of you.”

“He…” Chris shook his head. “I don’t even have words for what he means to me.”

“In all the years I’ve known you –”

“Yeah, exactly.” Chris sighed. It all still seemed unreal. “No words. But you’re the one who made him get the counseling.”

Phil let him change the subject. “Yes. It was necessary for a lot of things, but mostly because his aviophobia was a nightmare. He would not have been able to cope with being in space for any length of time.”

“I’m sure you could have found a place for him here or on a starbase.”

“True. But why limit him? And if he’d still been so afraid, he’d never have taken the assignment on the Enterprise, and you’d never have met again.”

Speaking of meeting. Chris stood as he saw Len come into the room. He waved him over.

“I got here on time,” Len said, leaning in to brush a tender kiss across his mouth. “And why are you meeting with my advisor?”

“Who is one of my best friends.” Chris smiled.

“Hello to you too, Len,” Phil said.

“How did I not know this?” There was a definite note of irritation in Len’s tone.

“I was CMO on the Enterprise for several years,” Phil said. “I’m sure I have mentioned that.”

Len shook his head. “Not that I remember. And I would have remembered that. I knew you were CMO on a ship, but not which one.”

Phil looked a bit surprised by that. “My mistake. Sorry.”

Len eyed him suspiciously. “Don’t we need to meet Admiral April and his wife in ten minutes?”

Chris nodded. “Yes. I’ll see you later Phil.”

“Let’s get together before you go back out.”

“Comm me and we’ll find some time. Give Adriana a kiss for me,” Chris said and he and Len started to move toward the door.

*****

As they came in, Chris did a visual sweep of the house. He noticed the dirty coffee pot on the kitchen counter. “Did you try to make coffee?”

“Not likely,” Len snorted. “Captain Batel made it. I forgot to mention she came by. And, interestingly enough, had complete access to your house without any problem.”

“I suppose I really should do something about that. Did she say anything to you?” Chris asked. Surprised that she’d even come by.

“Not a lot. She knew about us, of course. Everyone knows. Though she said she didn’t believe I really existed,” Len said. “She’s still trying to make it right with you.”

“I know.” Chris cleaned out the pot and set it up for coffee the next morning. “I am still annoyed with her.”

“Hasn’t it been months at this point?” Len asked, pointedly.

But Chris was not ready to discuss it with anyone. “Yes.”

“I would not have thought you’d hold a grudge like this,” said Len. “Especially when she was just doing her job.”

“How do you even know about this? Did she tell you?”

“That Commander Chin-Riley was genetically enhanced? No. That was not a secret. That Captain Batel was just doing her job, yes, she said she was.”

“She could have given me a heads up,” Chris said. But in reality, he thought there was another problem he hadn’t figured out yet. She was an old and dear friend, and he knew he hadn’t treated her right.

“You should be talking to her about it, not me,” Len pointed out.

“You seem to have an opinion.” Chris was actually kind of surprised by that. “You’re not jealous, are you?”

Len stopped for a second, seeming to consider it. “Should I be?”

“No. Not at all,” Chris assured him.

“But you have a lot of friends like her. Whom you also have sex with.” There was something off in his tone.

“I have in the past. Yes.” But was it the past? The thought of anyone, aside from Len in his bed, made him feel cold. “Are you worried that I’ll continue to fuck around now that we’re together?” Chris asked.

Again, Len hesitated before he spoke. “We’re going to be apart for longer than we’ve been together. I guess I wouldn’t be able to blame you if you did.”

“Wouldn’t you?” Because Chris could hear the reluctance in what Len just said. They were going to be apart for months. Which he supposed, wasn’t that long in the scheme of things. And if they were going to be together after that, then maybe they should think about it.

“I might. I slept around some after my marriage fell apart. But it never satisfied me the way being with someone I care about does. But you’re different with that list of friends with benefits you have going on.”

“Had going on. The thing about that is that I’ll stay friends with them, but I don’t necessarily have to sleep with them anymore.” And right now, he just couldn’t imagine it. “Do you want me to promise not to?”

Len met his eyes. “We’re not married. I can’t ask that.”

“We’re involved. More so than I’ve ever been before. I’m at a loss. You’re going to have to tell me straight up what you want me to do with something like this. I literally have no idea.” And he’d do what Len wanted. It wasn’t that hard a choice, either.

“I don’t know what to say,” Len said, looking down and then back at him. “Part of me wants to ask you to stop sleeping around with your friends. But I’m not sure that we’re in a place yet for that to happen.”

Chris wanted to reassure him and wasn’t quite sure what to say or how to do it. “I don’t know what’s out there. Who I’m going to encounter. But I do know that I will always come back to you. And I will never lie to you about it.”

Len just nodded. “I guess that’s as much as I can expect for now. Let’s go to bed.”

Maybe Len did understand what Chris was trying to say. Still, he couldn’t help feeling like he wasn’t quite getting through with what he wanted to say.

*****

As soon as Chris came out of the bathroom, Len embraced him, relishing the feel of Chris’ naked skin against his own. This would never, ever get old. He leaned in to kiss Chris deeply and savored the immediate response of him opening his mouth wider, his tongue slipping out to taste Len’s mouth. His hands reached into Len’s hair and onto his back, down to his ass.

Len backed up a step or two until the back of his knees hit the edge of the bed. He turned Chris, so that he went down onto the bed. Chris scrambled backward so that he was lying on his back, and Len laid down on top of him.

Chris’ hands were all over him and then tightening to roll him over. But Len was having none of that. He took Chris’ hands and put them over his head.

Chris laughed. “Feeling a bit feisty, doctor?”

“Oh, I am sure that I am, captain darlin’.” Len kissed him, softly and then harder.

Chris’ breath hitched. “I just love it when that accent comes out like that, all slow and soft.”

A shiver ran through Len. “You might’ve mentioned it before now. I try and control it.”

“Never do that on my account. I love hearing it.”

Len leaned down and kissed him tenderly. With deliberate care, Len started to move his mouth down Chris’ body. Slowly, with attention to detail, Len tried to draw out the pleasure as much as he could. Chris writhed under him, clearly trying not to move, but failing. He bucked up into Len’s mouth when he’d finally gotten there.

For a while, he lazily sucked on Chris’ cock, more teasingly than with any real intent. And Chris seemed to move with him, ready for more, but not asking yet. He would ask, and then demand. Len knew that. It was such a turn-on to watch him slowly, inexorably come apart.

Finally, Len pulled off and moved him onto his stomach, he massaged his shoulders until the tension left them. Chris moaned a complaint when he stopped.

“Not yet,” he said. “I’ve got some plans for you.”

“You might hurry it along.”

“In my own damned time, darlin’.” But he kissed the middle of Chris’ back and licked downward. Chris shuddered and whined under his touch, pushing back into his mouth. After a while, he slid a slick finger into him, and Chris moved back against it, making an incoherent sound.

Len had to draw in a deep breath to get some control back. Chris’ reaction to his touch was starting to wear heavily on his control.

“I’ve got you,” Len murmured. He knew just where to press, and how much pressure to use to get the response he wanted. But his control was starting to slip completely. Every sound Chris made pushed his excitement up a notch.

Finally, Len pushed slowly into him, letting Chris adjust to his movements. The tight, slick heat of him was insanely arousing and he was already almost at the breaking point. He pulled out and slid in again. Chris pushed back with a loud moan.

“Close,” Chris said. “Move.”

“Always so demandin’, aren’t you, my darlin’?”

“Please.”

“Since you asked so nicely, of course, my darlin’.” And he moved, harder in, angling a little with each stroke until he heard Chris cry out. He had the presence of mind to slick his hand and then he reached around Chris’ body to touch him. It didn’t take long. They were both at the end of their control.

When orgasm finally crested in him, Len went down with it as it completely consumed him. Heat and pleasure and flames. He was done.

He was breathing hard into Chris’ back. “Love you,” he said as he moved to lie down beside him.

“Me too.” Chris sounded as out of breath as he was. “That was spectacular.”

Len could only agree. “It was, wasn’t it.”

*****

All too soon they were standing in the reception bay where Chris would be beamed back to the Enterprise. There just hadn’t been enough time to say everything Len wanted to say.

“I’m going to miss you so much, my darlin’,” Len said softly, taking one of Chris’ hands and interlacing their fingers. Then, he leaned in to kiss him.

Chris put the other hand on his face, fingers sliding into Len’s hair. “It’s going to be a very long four months,” Chris murmured against his mouth.

Len nodded without breaking the kiss, his hand splayed on Chris’ hip.

The chime sounded. And they pulled back. “God, this is harder than I thought it would be.”

“I know.” Len leaned in one more time to kiss him. “You’ve got to go.”

“I’ve never regretted leaving anyone as much as I do you, right now.” But Chris did step back. “I’ll comm you tonight when I get off shift.”

There was a pain in Len’s chest that he was completely unfamiliar with, but he nodded. “Stay safe.”

“I’ll try.” Chris pulled out his communicator. “Pike to Enterprise.”

“Enterprise here.”

“Ready to beam up.”

“Energizing.”

And he was gone.

*****

Len leaned back on the wall behind him and just tried to breathe. This wasn’t like the last time. This had an end date. He knew that. But it still hurt.

“Are you all right, Len?”

He opened his eyes to see Phil Boyce standing next to him. A concerned look on his face.

“Yes, sir.” Len straightened up and shrugged. There was no explaining this to anyone. And he wasn’t even going to try. It felt too raw and personal.

“Let’s go get a drink.”

Len snorted. “It’s 10:00 in the morning.”

“It’s 5:00 somewhere.”

Did he want to get drunk? Part of him would like nothing better than the oblivion that came with being intoxicated. But most of him knew it was going to be a false paradise, that he’d pay for later. “I think I’d rather just go back home.”

“Chris’ house?” Dr. Boyce asked.

Len nodded. “I’m going to stay there until I start classes next week and then I’ll move back into the dorms.”

“Why not say at his house for the rest of the year.”

“I could. But I think I’d miss him too much there. I’ll probably go there to study when I need a quiet place.”

Dr. Boyce nodded. “Are you okay?”

“Yes, sir.” He was. It just wasn’t going to be easy. “Thanks for coming down here.”

Phil nodded. “I’ll see you in a couple of weeks to talk about the term.”

“Thank you again,” Len said, meaning it. And of all the people here, he really did trust Dr. Boyce to have his best interests at heart. He had gone to the mat for him more than once.

*****

Chris materialized on the transporter deck of the Enterprise. And for one second, he kept his eyes closed and took a deep breath. He could do this. It was only four months.

“Are you all right, Captain?” Number One’s voice held her concern. And when he opened his eyes, he could see it as well.

“Yes, Number One, I’m fine,” he said, with a slight smile as he stepped down off the transporter. “I didn’t expect leaving him would be this hard.”

“I’m not sure why you didn’t think so.” She had that ‘are you stupid’ tone down pat. Any other time, he might be amused by it.

“Because it’s never been a problem before.” And he knew that it would never be easy again. That, in fact, it would only get harder as time went on.

“You have to actually care about someone for it to hurt.”

“I’m coming to realize that,” Chris said. “Let’s go to work.”

They exited onto the bridge. Spock stood up. “Captain on the bridge.”

“I hope everyone is well rested.” He sat down in the chair, picking up his padd and looking at the parameters for their next assignment.

“Lieutenant Ortegas, pilot us out of the spacedock.”

“Aye, sir.” A few minutes later she said, “Clear, sir.”

“Coordinates locked in?”

“Aye, sir.”

“Hit it.”

*****

Chapter Seven – Back to the Academy

A month later

Len waited for the comm to connect. These weekly comm calls had become a lifeline for him. He and Chris exchanged written comms every day but seeing Chris’ face made it a little easier to cope. It didn’t completely soothe the ache of separation, but it did help. He made sure he was available for them at whatever crazy time Chris could connect.

“I heard you’ve made up with Captain Batel,” Len said as soon as Chris’ image formed on his comm. “All good?”

“As it happens, yes. We’ve cleared the air.” Chris’ tone didn’t sound as happy or relieved as he should have.

“What did you say to her? I mean, you were annoyed out of all proportion, especially since the Commander had been exonerated a while ago.”

“You’re pretty perceptive for someone who swears he’s bad with people,” Chris said, smiling at him. “I think she and I were reaching the end of the line with friends with benefits. And neither one of us wanted to admit it.”

“But you’re keeping the friendship, right?” he asked. “You’ve known her since the Academy. Didn’t you say she was one of your oldest friends?”

“Yes. I would be very upset to lose her friendship. We’ve backed each other up any number of times over the years.”

“Then why don’t you sound happier,” Len asked.

“I’m good,” Chris said with that chagrined half-smile he had. “But she appears to be dating my XO.”

Len snorted. “Well, I would not have thought that was in the offing. How?”

“Apparently, she’d had a thing for Una and never felt she could act on it, given her relationship with me.” Chris sounded a little exasperated.

“Talk about stepping out of her comfort zone. What does the Commander say about it?” Len asked.

“Nothing. And I’m not asking. It’s on them. But how did you hear about it?”

“You’re not the only person on the ship who talks to me,” Len said.

“Fair enough. How are things going with you?”

“I met with Doctor Boyce during the second or third week of school. He’s gotten me a lab and a line on an engineer for my research project, so that’s going along. Being in school again is always hard. But,” Len shrugged. “Thankfully, this is the last year.”

Chris nodded but didn’t comment.

Len went on, “I finally got an answer from Sacak on Vulcan. He’ll talk to me about his research. There’s a conference on Vulcan in a few weeks, and I’m going to go. I’ll have to give a paper, but Starfleet Medical is all over me doing it. So, I don’t have to worry about missing classes.”

“How long will you be there?” Chris asked, looking at something on his padd.

“Four days.”

“Looks like we aren’t going to be that far from Vulcan at that time. And we have shore leave scheduled for around then, too.”

“I have some things I have to do there, but mostly I’ll be attending sessions. And truthfully, some aren’t that interesting. Do you think you can get away?” Because that would be ideal. He missed Chris so much.

Chris was still looking down at his padd. “I think I can catch a shuttle from Starbase 6.”

“Just like that? Won’t it disrupt things?” Len didn’t think it worked like that. But of course, he didn’t actually know how it worked. Which was something he should find out about.

“Number One can handle making sure everyone else gets their leave for those few days. Unless you don’t want me to come.”

And Len heard the slight uncertainty in his voice. “Yes. Of course, I want you to come. Please. I want to see you.” And he smirked. “I promise to make it worth your while.”

And Chris looked up and grinned. “I will hold you to that.”

*****

The Vulcan Science Academy looked like any other structure he’d seen on Vulcan with clean lines and an aesthetically pleasing design. He was ushered into Sacak’s office. Sacak was older than Len expected, and his hair was more steel gray than black. His eyes were dark, and his intelligence seemed to jump out of them.

Len stood at attention, held up his hand with his fingers splayed in a way they didn’t naturally want to go, and said as formally as he could, “Live long and prosper, Sacak of Vulcan. I am Doctor Leonard McCoy of Starfleet. Thank you for seeing me.”

“Peace and long life, Doctor McCoy,” Sacak said, returning the salute. “Please sit and explain your research to me.”

He explained what he had. What he wanted to do with it. What he knew of Sacak’s research and how it would tie together. “So, as you see, what you’re doing dove-tails with where I want to go with mine.”

Sacak nodded. “Well thought out and logical. Very organized.”

He probably should keep his mouth shut, but Sacak sounded… well really surprised. Not that he gave off any emotions, but Len was left with the subtle impression that he hadn’t been expecting much. “Forgive me, but what did you expect?”

“I am never sure when I deal with humans what I will receive in terms of their research,” Sacak said. He’d clearly been unimpressed with some of the people who had come to see him.

“I take it you’ve had some bad experiences. I would think that anyone who wants to meet with you would have their ducks in a row, so to speak.”

An eyebrow rose in what Len could only think of as amusement. “Ducks in a row?”

“It’s a colloquial expression meaning that someone getting as far as your presence would not come unprepared,” Len explained, trying to keep his expression neutral. Which wasn’t that easy for him.

“That would be logical to assume. But I have found others to not be as logical as I would hope them to be.” He looked at Len. “Your presentation was flawless. I will collaborate and share what information I have with you.”

“Thank you.” Mentally, Len let out a huge sigh of relief. Usually, he was confident enough in his presentation and research skills that he didn’t worry much about the outcome of an interview like this one. Of course, this one was so much more important to him personally.

“It’s logical to work for the greater good.”

“Yes. I can see that making it more difficult to contact you weeds out the people who are not serious. Even the whole introduction letter requirement. But why would Spock not be welcome to write an introduction for me? He knows me better than T’Pring.” Because if he was dealing with prejudice, he needed to know that upfront.

“I did wonder why you chose T’Pring rather than Spock.”

“Apparently, someone told him that you would not accept a letter of introduction from him because he was half-human.”

Sacak’s eyebrow rose again. But he seemed…unemotionally angry. “I’m not sure who informed him of that, but they were incorrect. It’s illogical to hold someone’s heritage against him. And I do not. Spock would have been as welcome to write an introduction as T’Pring.”

“If you don’t mind, I’ll let him know that.”

“I shall write to him myself. I’m curious to know who would say such a thing to him. It is not logical at all.”

Len wondered how a being could express such indignation without seeming to express any emotions at all. He kind of felt sorry for whoever had told Spock that.

*****

The rest of the day went well. He delivered his paper, and it was well received. The night was what he was waiting for. Chris should be here soon. He glanced at his watch. He’d said he’d get in at 2000 hours. It was that now.

The door to his hotel room chimed and he called out, “Come,” as he went towards the door.

The door hissed open and then closed. For one second, they just looked at each other. Then Chris moved, pushing him against the wall, kissing him deeply, his tongue sliding into Len’s mouth. Len could only moan as he gave himself up to the kiss. He had missed Chris so much.

He slid his tongue into Chris’ mouth and moaned again. Desire, heat, and need all slid through him. God, he loved the feel of Chris’ warm, capable hands on his body. The feel of his hands on Chris’ body.

More gracefully than he should have been able to, given the circumstances, Chris dropped to his knees and was opening Len’s pants, and pushing his underwear down. His mouth engulfed Len’s half-hard cock, bringing him to full arousal in a second.

Oh, it was good. So good. He wasn’t going to last. Thrusting in and out of that perfect mouth only a few times, he came faster than he had since he was a kid. He supposed he should be embarrassed to be so out of control, but really, it had been so long. And it had felt so good.

He knelt and kissed Chris, tasting himself on Chris’ tongue, before pushing him completely down on the floor and crawling on top of him. He opened Chris’ shirt and licked down his chest. Stopping long enough to tongue each of his nipples. Chris arched under his mouth.

But Len wasn’t in the mood to draw this out. He just opened Chris’ pants and licked all the way down.

Chris pushed up and groaned. “Don’t tease,” he ground out.

Of course not. He swallowed him down as much as he could, sucking and licking until he could feel Chris stiffen and start to come. Len swallowed and then rested his face on Chris’ thigh, just breathing in the scent of him.

After a time, Chris opened his eyes. “God, I missed you.”

“Oh, my darlin’ captain, I have missed you so much,” Len said. His accent was thick and probably half unintelligible.

A shudder ran through Chris, and for a second, he closed his eyes again. “This wasn’t how I expected this would go.”

Len sat up and smiled at him, putting one arm on his upraised knee. “No?”

“I expected to get a few words out first.” Chris sat up as well.

“We’ve talked. But haven’t been able to touch. This probably should not be a surprise.”

He stood and did up his pants. Then reached down to pull Chris to his feet. Embracing him and kissing him deeply. Even if he’d just come hard and fast, he could feel the familiar tug of desire starting to build again. “Damn, what you do to me.”

Chris just laughed. “No worse than what you’ve done to me.”

“What have I done to you?”

“Made me realize what I’d missed for my entire life.” Chris leaned forward and kissed him. “Though right now, what I’m missing is food and a bed.”

“How long did it take you to get here?”

“About six hours. Commercial travel shuttles are slower than starships.”

“How long do you have? Len asked.

He looked at his watch. “Thirty-six hours until the next shuttle leaves in the opposite direction.”

“Thanks. For coming that far for such a short time.”

Chris leaned in to kiss him again. “There was a reward in it for me.”

“Me, too. The Vulcans mostly serve real food at the restaurants I’ve been to.

“Anything is fine. Room service is fine.”

“I could do room service. And you again,” Len said. And just having him within arm’s reach again was delicious. He wrapped an arm around him.

“Oh, yes.” Chris kissed him. “I need a shower and something to eat.”

“Go have one, and I’ll order us something.”

*****

After a surprisingly decent meal, they settled together on the sofa. Len leaned his head back against Chris’ chest, their legs stretched out. Each had a padd in hand, but neither of them was reading.

“I missed this almost as much as the sex,” Chris said, tossing the padd onto the low table by the sofa. “How did the meeting with Sacak go?”

Len took his hand and just held it, running his thumb over his palm. “Better than I expected. I was afraid he would be prejudiced against Spock for being half-human.”

“Why would you think that?” Chris asked, putting his other arm around Len’s chest, just enjoying the feel of him in his arms.

“I thought I mentioned this, Spock said it was suggested to him that Sacak would accept an introduction letter from him.” Len sounded annoyed and then breathed out a sigh. “Turned out that Sacak was not pleased to hear someone had said something like that to Spock.”

Chris was relieved. Anyone disparaging Spock would annoy him as well. “What would you have done?”

“I don’t know. I know that some Vulcans feel that way, but I’ve got a problem with prejudice on any level. I would have tried to work with him, mostly for your sake, but I’m not sure how well that would have worked out.” From his tone, it was clear it would not have worked out well at all.

Though, on the other hand, Chris said, “I didn’t realize you’d be working with him, rather than just using the research he’d done.”

“His research is ongoing. He’ll make more progress and I will as well. He said he would collaborate with me for the greater good because it was logical.”

“The whole thing with the introduction letter doesn’t seem logical,” Chris said.

“I got the impression that it was more to do with weeding out those who aren’t serious than it was about old-fashioned communication. But you never know what a Vulcan thinks about this kind of thing.”

“I know you aren’t that enamored of the whole logical over emotional theory.”

“I’m not going to tell anyone else how to live their life. But for me, I’d rather wallow in the emotions.”

Chris laughed. “I’ve noticed.”

“And benefited from my attitude.”

“Speaking of benefiting?”

“Were we?” He turned over and pressed into Chris’s body. “Shall we?”

****

Thirty-six hours was a shockingly short amount of time and all too soon, Chris was getting ready to get on the shuttle. It had been worth it. The constant ache in his chest had eased. For the moment, anyway. But it was only a few more weeks until they met in Atlanta.

“We didn’t get a chance to talk about it, but I rented a house and a car in Atlanta for the two weeks we’ll be there. You’ll need a place for Joanna to stay, and it will be nicer to have a house, rather than a couple of hotel rooms or even a suite,” Chris said.

“Thank you,” Len said, sounding surprised. “I hadn’t thought of that yet. I was planning on a hotel room. My momma’s farm is too far away.”

“I had no idea your mother was still alive,” Chris said. They had never talked about it. And for whatever reason, he assumed she’d passed.

“She is. I’ve mentioned that my daddy died a couple of years ago. Momma didn’t take his passing well. And I wasn’t there to help her,” Len said, looking down and sighing. “I should have been there.”

“You were having a few problems of your own,” Chris pointed out. Len was being too hard on himself.

“It was one more thing on top of too many other things.” Len looked troubled. “I wish I could have done more. My sister, Beth helped out, but she has two children of her own. At this point, she is barely on speaking terms with me.”

“Why?” Chris didn’t know the particulars of what happened there. “That doesn’t seem fair of them.”

“Because I left everyone and everything in Atlanta when I had to save myself.” From what he wasn’t saying, it seemed like there was more to the story. Len let out a sigh. “She has a point that everything fell to her, and I wasn’t there to help.”

“Do they know about what Jocelyn and her father were attempting to do to you?” Chris asked.

“Not everything,” Len said, looking down and his face turning red. “Not all of it. Or probably not even most of it.”

“Did you think about explaining it?” Chris asked. “So maybe your sister wouldn’t blame you for, what did you say, ‘saving yourself’.”

“Maybe, I will try to talk to her when I’m there. I haven’t been home at all since I left for the Academy. I comm Joanna once a week, and my momma about once a month. Once in a while, I’ll talk to my sister. But I’m not good at talking to people.”

“You know, before you mentioned her this time, I didn’t even know you had a sister,” Chris said. Every time something like that came up, it was disconcerting to realize that they should know more about each other than they did.

Len had a slight smile on his face. “We really should talk more.”

“Like family basics at least.”

“Your parents?” Len asked.

“Both passed and I was an only child. Though I do have some cousins and other relatives scattered around. I am not that close to any of them.”

Before either of them could say anything else, they called his shuttle. “I have to go,” Chris said.

Len stepped forward, drawing him into his arms and kissing him deeply. His eyes closed, Chris leaned into the kiss for a few seconds, but then pulled back. His stomach tightened as he picked up his duffle and slung it over his shoulder. He leaned in one last time, kissing Len, wishing he could deepen it, but having to pull back.

“Stay safe,” Len said, his voice more husky than normal.

“I will. You as well.” Chris had to walk away then, or he wouldn’t be able to. He did look back and wave as he got on the shuttle.

*****

A couple of weeks later, Len was near the end of his shift. He sat down in the break room of the hospital, sucking down some epically awful coffee. God, he was tired. Too many idiot cadets getting themselves injured, one after the other, then two more. What was wrong with them? Probably trying to outdo each other.

“Doc?”

He opened his eyes. Hadn’t realized he’d closed them. “Mark. What can I do for you?”

“I just wanted to ask you to our Enterprise get-together. This is the last one of the term. We’re all going to have to buckle down and study starting next week. As you know, we all have the end-of-term exams. I guess you don’t need to worry that much about it. Or not as much as the rest of us, anyway. But we do have to worry. It’s always hard.”

“I’m a cadet too. I have exams,” Len said. There was something about Mark’s constant stream of words that was always so soothing.

“I can’t believe you’re not acing all your tests. Because you are just so smart,” Mark said.

That was fair. He did well on his exams, but, “I study for them. So, I do well. Don’t you?”

“Of course, I study. I study my ass off, but sometimes, I just don’t get something, and then it requires more studying and finding someone to explain it to me. Three times. And then maybe I get it,” Mark said. “But that’s not what I wanted to talk about. Can you come to the get-together? I was hoping you’d get to do it at least once this term.”

“I always planned to, but you know what my life is like,” Len said. He’d tried the other two times, but things always seemed to get in his way.

“I know most other cadets don’t give papers at Vulcan conferences. Only, maybe Uhura. And she’s just amazing. You’d like her. Not like that of course, but she’s great. So nice. And she really wants to help people. Plus, she speaks like about a million different languages.”

“Probably not a million,” Len laughed. “When is it?”

“Tonight at 1900 hours.”

He wanted to get out more and meet his fellow cadets. And this might be a good opportunity. “I have a call I need to make at 2100 hours, so I can stay for a while.”

“Great. When do you get off?”

He looked at his watch. “About an hour. But you know what, maybe I can get off now and we can go have some dinner.”

“Wow. Really. I am hungry. But I’m always hungry. And that would be really great. We’d actually get to talk for more than ten seconds at a time. Not that I mind the ten-second intervals, but it would be nice to sit down and talk with you.”

Len laughed. “It’s more than ten seconds.”

“Not really. It’s not. I want to hear how things are going with you and I never do. Do you hear from anyone on the Enterprise? I heard that Sullivan and Nunez were both taken off the ship. Captain Pike said he wouldn’t have people who were that thoughtless on his ship. And then I heard they both were formally charged. And they interviewed me.”

“I know. The attorneys talked to me as well since I was the one who realized something was wrong with you,” Len said. He was glad that the two of them wouldn’t be hurting anyone else.

“I know. And I’m still grateful. I –”

“Mark. It’s fine. I’m a doctor. This is what I do. Nothing special.”

“It is special. It is so special. I don’t even know how you can say that. You’re like…I don’t even know. How can you not think you’re one of the truly special people in the world.”

Oh, God. Mark was looking at him like he’d hung the moon or something. And what did he do now? Because he had no idea how to deal with this. “Let’s go have some dinner.”

*****

The get-together was surprisingly more fun than Len had thought it would be. It was nice to relax without worrying about anything for a few hours. He was disappointed that he wouldn’t be able to stay much longer. But he wanted to talk to Chris. Just hearing his voice, made a huge difference.

Uhura wasn’t quite what he was expecting. Most of the cadets seemed pleased to have him there and went out of their way to be friendly with him. She was a little more standoffish. Polite and non-threatening. But after Mark, and the other cadets, he was surprised by her attitude.

“Doctor McCoy,” Uhura said as he was leaving. She followed him as he moved away from the rest of them. “Do you have a minute?”

“Sure. What can I do for you, Ms Uhura?”

She hesitated. “Mark said he’d caught you at the end of your shift and you both got some dinner together.”

“That’s right. Is there a problem with that?” Len asked, carefully.

“No problem. I just wanted to make sure you knew that, well…” She looked down, and then back up at him. Right in the eyes. “He thinks a lot of you.”

“I think a lot of him, too. He’s a great kid,” he said and realized that sounded a little patronizing. He amended, “Sorry, great guy.”

That seemed to startle her. “You think of him as a kid?”

God, he didn’t want to insult her. But, “he’s twenty. That seems pretty young to me.” And Mark seemed even younger a lot of the time.

She looked at him. He could almost see her reviewing their conversation in her head. “You’re a medical doctor?”

He took a breath before he spoke, pushing down his irritation. “What other kind of doctor did you think I could be?”

“I didn’t know what you did. I thought perhaps a Ph.D.? You’re older than him, but I can see now, it’s actually much older than him. And well, I just don’t want to see him hurt. He’s a sweet guy.”

“And you really don’t know who I am?” There was a part of him that was thrilled to find someone who didn’t know he was infamous. But by now, he’d taken it for granted that everyone knew. Even if they didn’t say anything. He’d get side-eyed looks, especially from some of his instructors.

She stiffened up. “Clearly, I’ve missed something. Should I know who you are?”

“Not necessarily, but I’ve just assumed that everyone does. All the brass in this place all know exactly who I am. Unfortunately.” And that came out more arrogantly than he meant for it to. But anything he said was going to sound off to her because she didn’t know.

“I don’t have time to keep up on gossip,” she said, primly. She could do arrogant, too. “So, why don’t you just tell me?”

“I’m Captain Pike’s partner.” He’d never said it out loud like that before. But damn, it felt good.

“Excuse me. What did you say?” She blinked and then looked like she didn’t believe him.

“I think you heard me,” Len said. And looked at his watch and took a step back. “I’m going to be late.”

She just stared at him, like she expected something more from him.

But he didn’t have time to worry about it. “Look, just ask Mark about it. He and the rest of the cadets from last summer’s rotation all know. Fuck. Everyone knows.”

“But you’re a cadet. He wouldn’t. I know he wouldn’t. Not with a cadet.”

He shouldn’t engage. He knew that. And yet, here he was doing it anyway. “I’m a doctor. A trauma surgeon. With award-winning research. I’m thirty-two years old. Trust me when I tell you, he would.” And did. Repeatedly.

And then, he walked away.

*****

He was ten minutes late getting back to his dorm and then it took another twenty to get connected.

“Hello,” Chris said. “I was beginning to think we’d miss our window.”

“I’m sorry. I finally met with the Enterprise cadets. Actually, Mark dragged me out of my shift, and we had dinner first. I think he might have a crush or something on me.” Len looked down and felt a blush stretch across his face as he said it.

Chris had the audacity to laugh. “You’re just noticing this now?”

“Haha. Yes. I have no idea what I should do about it, either,” Len said. How had he missed it since it seemed even Chris knew about it.

“You ignore it just as you have been. I can’t believe it took you this long to notice it,” Chris said, still chuckling.

“It gets worse. I may have traumatized your future communications officer.” Len let out a sigh.

“Uhura? What did you say to her,” Chris asked.

“She caught me as I was leaving, and I think she was subtly warning me off, Mark.” Which had been weird, but he appreciated that she cared about Mark.

“Okay. So, she didn’t know who you were?”

“Pretty much,” Len said. “I have been operating under the assumption that it was common knowledge. I certainly get a lot of smirks from instructors and the brass as I meet them. Nothing said, of course, just a lot of knowing looks.”

“No one should ever say anything to you about it. Unless you engage with them. It would be entirely inappropriate,” Chris said in that authoritative tone he had.

“I’m not sure she knew that. Because she didn’t know who I was, she asked. And I told her that you were my partner.” It had felt good to acknowledge it out loud like that.

Chris just nodded. “What did she say?”

“That Captain Pike would never do that to a cadet. And I advised her to talk to her fellow cadets. I then explained that I was a little more than the average cadet.”

“Quite a bit more.” Chris smiled at that.

“And I had to leave. That was why I was late.”

Chris ran a hand over his face. “I don’t know what to tell you. Hopefully, she’ll talk to Mark or one of the others. I haven’t had contact with her since she left. I do know she’s requested to come back to the Enterprise. And of course, we want her. Genius like hers doesn’t come around that often.”

“After meeting me, she may be too disillusioned to want to come back,” Len said, but he hoped that she was more flexible than that.

“She’s young. I don’t know. As long as she doesn’t decide to quit altogether.”

“You know, they are all so young. I can’t even remember being that young,” Len said, sighing.

*****

“Doctor McCoy?” Uhura’s voice was a bit tentative. She’d caught him just as he was leaving class.

“Ms Uhura,” he said with a sigh. “I was going to look for you today.” Or tomorrow.

“I talked to Mark. And I’m sorry. I –”

“You have nothing to be sorry about. You were trying to protect a friend,” Len said. And really, he appreciated what she’d done.

“But I assumed you were going to prey on him.”

Len had known what she was thinking. “That was some kind of conclusion to jump to without evidence beyond meeting me for a short amount of time. You didn’t think it was possible that I might legitimately have been interested in him?”

“I didn’t think he would attract a man as sophisticated as you are,” Uhura said. At least she didn’t make it sound disparaging.

But Len felt she was selling Mark short. “I am charmed by him. He’s so honest and forthright. There’s no subterfuge with him.”

“But you said yourself you see him as a kid.”

Well, she did have a point there. “That’s true. Maybe if I were younger.”

“Or less accomplished?” Uhura asked, her eyebrow raised.

“Possibly.” He ran a hand through his hair. “I like Mark. He’s genuine. I love his endless babble. It takes me outside of my own world. He’s so…innocent.”

“He is. He makes you want to protect him.”

That was the bottom line for both of them, Len thought. “Oh, that is so true. I had no idea he had a crush on me until yesterday.”

She laughed. “Where have you been? He talks about you constantly. But until yesterday, when I asked him about you, he never mentioned your time together on the Enterprise. Or what you did on it.”

“Really?” Len asked, surprised. “I thought they all gossiped about Captain Pike and me constantly.”

“Apparently, they all decided that they were not going to mention it at all. I had to pry it out of him.”

Being infamous had become a fact of his life. And there wasn’t anything else he could do about it. “I had resigned myself to everyone knowing about us.”

“How does that work?” she asked.

“It’s complicated,” Len said. “I met Captain Pike without knowing who he was.”

“I guess that makes sense. I looked you up. You are everything you said you were. I can see Captain Pike…appreciating you.”

He laughed. “Did you just say I was worthy of him?”

She looked down and her face darkened a bit. “Yes.”

“So, you’ll still be requesting to be put on the Enterprise.”

“Of course. Why wouldn’t I?” She asked.

“After yesterday, I thought you might be disillusioned.”

She shook her head. “It was hard to believe that Captain Pike would get involved with a cadet. But as you’ve said, you’re not an ordinary cadet. I’m surprised you’re a cadet at all. Why go through all this trouble, if you don’t have to.”

That was personal, but he knew that she was not just asking for gossip’s sake. “I needed what being a Starfleet officer would give me. I also needed the training to be an officer.”

And that was the whole truth of his life.

*****

Chapter Eight – Holidays

It was late when Chris opened the door to the house he’d rented in Atlanta. His shuttle was delayed, and he was a couple of hours later than he’d hoped.  And had missed dinner, too. Len had commed him that he was already there.

The large living room was dim, and there was a hall he thought went to the kitchen. There were stairs leading up to the bedrooms upstairs. One for them, and one for Joanna. And a spare. The house was furnished and decorated in bland generic colors.

Len was already in bed. He’d said the last couple of weeks were insane with exams, and double shifts at the hospital because he was taking off so much time.

Opening the bedroom door, Chris dropped his duffle on a chair and hung up his garment bag in the closet. The room was warm. Chris took off his jacket and unbuttoned his shirt. Len didn’t move.

He looked to be asleep. Chris stood at the edge of the bed and tugged the sheet off him, and just stared for a moment at the long, hard lines of his body. He shook his head. Len was so beautiful. And it was rare that he got to just appreciate him quietly.

Len moved, spreading himself out across the bed, invitation clear. Desire built quickly in Chris.

The rest of Chris’ clothes came off in a flurry of wrenched cloth and a torn seam or two. He crawled up the bed and laid down on top of Len, one of his hands on top of Len’s, threading their fingers together.

He kissed the back of Len’s neck. And Len moaned softly. “I’ve been waitin’ for you, my darlin’ Captain.”

The way he said it in that soft, slow southern accent sent a million sparks of desire down Chris’ spine. No one had ever made him feel the way Len did.

He licked partway down Len’s back. And slid a finger in, just to make sure, but Len had prepared himself. And Len moved back against Chris’ hand, moaning. If he thought too hard about it, he’d probably come from that alone. But Chris would save that memory for later when he didn’t have Len waiting. He took a deep breath to gain some control. And moved his hands over Len’s ass before bringing his hips slightly forward so that he could hold him open to bury himself completely in Len’s body.

They both gasped.

“Move,” Len said, breathlessly.

Chris was beyond words. He did as he was instructed, moving in firmly, and holding onto Len’s hips to pull almost all the way out and then push back in. He slicked his hand on the lube he’d found in the bedding and reached around to stroke him. It had been too long and neither one of them was going to last much longer. He waited until Len came and then gave in, letting the rush of pleasure move over him as he panted for breath.

They both went down in a sweaty heap.

At some point later, Chris lifted his head.

“Thanks,” Len said, sleepily and turned over.

“It was literally my pleasure.” Chris leaned down and kissed him. “I love it when you call me your darling captain.”

“I noticed you don’t use pet names.”

“I’ve never used them,” Chris said. The only one he ever used was baby, and Len pretty much rejected that. Maybe something else would come to him. Len seemed to like pet names.

Len kissed him deeply and for a time, they just exchanged soft kisses. Their hands slid over each other slowly.

Chris was drowsy and fighting to stay awake. But they needed to talk. “On another subject, do we know what our agenda for the next few days are going to be?”

“Tomorrow, I thought we’d go see my momma at the farm. My sister may or may not be there,” Len said with a yawn. “We pick up Joanna the next day. That’s her last day for the winter term. We’ll have her twelve days.”

“The Starfleet Winter Ball on the twenty-third. Who is going to watch Joanna that night?” Chris asked.

“My momma said she would. But Jocelyn might want to see her, too. She mentioned that they’d not been separated before.”

“Did you bring something to wear?”

“I brought my dress uniform.”

Chris laughed at that. “You’re going to put it in their faces, aren’t you?”

“Oh, you bet I am. And won’t I look good on your arm?”

“I’m proud to have you there.” Chris leaned in and kissed him again. “I’m looking forward to meeting Joanna.” Well, he was. But he was also nervous about it. He’d never dealt with a child one on one before. Then there was meeting Len’s extended family which just seemed to get larger every time they talked.

“Don’t worry, she’ll love you. And so will the rest of my family. Since you care about me, they will care about you.”

“I wish family dynamics were that easy.” But Chris knew they weren’t. And every time he thought about it, his stomach tightened a little.

Len kissed him again and then kept doing it for a while until Chris forgot what they were talking about and just kissed him back.

*****

Len set the car down at the end of his momma’s driveway. He wished he knew what kind of reception he and Chris were going to get. But his momma was closed mouth about what she was thinking and what other people in the family were as well. There would be some family coming out on Saturday afternoon for a picnic. But he had no idea who.

He and Chris walked up the drive to the front door. And he knocked.

His momma opened the door, and he took in the changes in her appearance. Her dark hair was more shot with gray than it had been, and her face was a little more lined. But she still stood straight and tall, and she was still his momma. He stepped forward to wrap his arms around her, breathing in the scent of her soap and perfume. She smelled like home to him.

“Lenny,” she breathed into his shoulder. “It’s so good to see you, my son.”

“Momma,” he choked. “I’m so sorry about how I left.”

“I know,” she said. “I know.”

Before he could break down in tears, which he was appallingly close to, he stepped back. “Momma, I want you to meet someone special to me. Captain Christopher Pike.”

She looked at Chris. “I’m Eleanora McCoy. I’m pleased to meet you.” She held out her hand and he shook it.

“I am pleased to meet you as well, ma’am,” Chris said.

“Come in,” she said, stepping back and opening the door wide. “Come in.”

The house was warm as she led them into the kitchen, and they sat at the large kitchen table. “Can I get you something to drink? Iced tea?”

“That would be great,” Chris said and then smiled.

She handed him a glass and Len another. “Tell me about yourself, Captain Pike.”

“Chris, please. What would you like to know.”

“Where did you meet, Len?” She looked at him. “Were you an instructor at the Academy?”

“No. I’m not.”

Len could feel the blush stretch across his face. “I met Chris just over two years ago. Right after Jocelyn had me declared unfit and I lost custody of Joanna.”

She stood up, clearly furious. “She did what? How dare she do such a thing? Why am I just hearing about this now?”

“I took care of it, momma. I got the order rescinded. But what did you think she and her daddy were doing to me that drove me out of Atlanta?”

“I honestly don’t know. That whole year, after your daddy died, was a haze, and even though we knew it was comin’, I was just so devastated. I was not thinking properly.” she said, looking pointedly at him. “And you’ve never said,”

He stood too and reached out to pull her into his arms. “Even expectin’ it, you loved daddy so much. We all loved him.”

“I did love him. But you’re my son and I should have been there for you, too. Especially, if Jocelyn was behaving badly.” She stepped back and sat down.

So did he. “I did fine.”

Chris coughed but said nothing else.

“Leonard Horatio McCoy, you tell me the truth, now. I am thinking maybe you didn’t do as well as you’ve been saying,” Eleanora said, glancing at Chris and then back to him.

Len could feel the blush starting, and he looked down at the table. At no time in his life had he been able to lie to his momma when she used that tone. He could not look at Chris either because he knew he had to be smiling.

“All right. I may have had some issues.” He looked up at her and saw she was at least skeptical of what he was saying. With good reason.

His momma just sighed. “All right, just finish telling me how you met Chris here.”

“We met that night and then we didn’t see each other for about eighteen-nineteen months. I was a cadet on summer rotation last summer. He was the captain of the ship I was on.”

“I’m still having trouble picturing you being a cadet at your age.”

Chris snorted. “You’re not the only one, ma’am.”

“If you’re not an instructor, what difference does it make?” she asked.

“It’s worse because I’m going to be his commanding officer,” Chris said, looking a bit chagrined by it. “He will be several ranks below mine.”

Momma looked surprised. “But it’s after he graduates. So, he’ll be an officer, too. How will this affect his career?”

“Eventually, I hope he’ll be my Chief Medical Officer. And at a certain point, it won’t matter anymore.”

“What point is that?” she asked, her tone bordering on sharp.

“Momma, when I finally graduate and get my commission. It will be better.”

“You’re a doctor. A damned fine one at that. It’s not like he can take advantage of you. You’re not young or naive.”

He and Chris looked at each other. Chris shrugged slightly. “It isn’t so much me personally. It’s the fact I’m a cadet. It’s really frowned upon.”

Len quickly told her about the consent forms.

She nodded and then looked right at Chris. “And while I’m at it, what exactly are your intentions toward my son?”

“Momma, you can’t just ask him that,” Len said horrified. He could not believe she’d just asked that. “You just got finished admitting I was a grown man.”

She stared at Chris waiting.

Chris didn’t bat an eyelash. “My intentions are completely honorable, ma’am.”

“How is this my life,” Len said, wanting to bang his head on the table.

Chris rubbed his back as he laughed. “You should be grateful. Your mom’s worried about you.”

“Your man is right, Lenny. I only want what is best for you,” his momma said. “Now, let’s go back to Jocelyn. What did she and her daddy do to you? Exactly. Because she hasn’t said a word to me about any of this.”

Len sat up. “Wait. You’ve seen her?”

“I see Joanna about once a month or more. But at least that much. A few months after you left, Jocelyn commed me and said, she wasn’t going to keep my granddaughter away from me.”

“Mighty nice of her,” he sneered, fury running through him before he could do anything about it. “She was just going to keep my daughter away from me. When exactly did this happen?”

“December after you left. I was surprised, to say the least. But Jocelyn has been, if not completely pleasant, then at least civil, whenever I’ve met with her. But gettin’ out from under the influence of her daddy might have helped with that.”

“What happened to Richard?” Len asked, trying to keep his tone level. But just saying his name made Len feel sick to his stomach.

“He had a heart attack and wrapped his car around a tree, in late November two years ago. Rumor has it that there was alcohol involved.”

That didn’t surprise him in the slightest. Mean as he was sober, he was even meaner drunk. But to make sure, “he’s dead?”

She nodded.

And a wave of relief went through him so profoundly, it made him catch his breath. Chris put a hand on his shoulder and gave it a quick squeeze. Len turned to smile at him before he said, “Couldn’t happen to a nicer guy. I might not have ever been able to hate Jocelyn, but I damned well hated Richard Treadway.”

His momma nodded. “Can’t say that I blame you there, son. The man was a son-of-a-bitch. Horrible human.”

“So, what happened to Jocelyn, she should have inherited everything.”

“Oh, she did. But she sold off most of the business holdings within the first year. She was never going to have to work for a living. But now, she’s living in the lap of luxury. She’s still living in that pseudo-plantation. I would be ashamed of living in a place like that, given what that stood for.”

“You and me both.” He turned to Chris. “You’ll see it when we pick up Joanna. Anything else you want to know, momma?”

That got a smile out of her. “Just the usual things: does he treat you well? And make you happy?”

“Yes, to both.” Despite his momma’s direct gaze, he managed to say that without a blush.

“Then, I’m good. But I am telling you, do not even think about getting married in space. I expect to be there.”

“Yes ma’am,” Chris said. “When the time comes, shall I ask you for his hand?”

She grinned at him. “I would like that. Not that I could do anything to stop him, but it’d be nice.”

Len put his head back on the table, groaning.

*****

“Is there a reason you’re wearing your dress uniform?” Len asked, appreciating the way it looked on him.

“It gives off a certain authority and I thought that might be appropriate for today.”

Len eyed him up and down again. Well, he was right about that. “Are you going to try to intimidate Jocelyn? Not that I wouldn’t love to see it, but –” He shrugged.

And something changed in Chris’ demeanor and stance. It was subtle, but Len did a double take. Wow, suddenly he radiated power and authority and the ‘Do not fuck with me, I’m a starship captain,’ arrogance. And that was just about the sexiest thing he’d ever seen. He was sure his mouth was hanging open. But they did not have time to explore that right now.

“Len, it occurs to me that you’ve never seen me in command.”

“Of course, I have…” But no, he’d never seen Chris on the bridge. Or actually, had that much contact with him when he was on duty at all. After the paperwork was signed, they kept things as separate as they could. Aside from the projectile injury, all of their contact had been personal or casual dinners with the crew.

“You’ve only known me as your partner. Not as the Captain of the Enterprise.” Chris’ expression was serious.

Maybe the floor could just open up and swallow him. Chris was always Chris to him. Never Captain Pike. “How have I never thought of this?”

“Partly, it’s because of how busy we always are. You’re still at the Academy. I suspect when you start to serve on the Enterprise, it will change.” Chris met his eyes. “But you don’t get to be a starship captain unless you can deal with all sorts of people. I’ve met more than one person like her. People who aren’t what they seem. People who just don’t care. People who are just plain evil. People who could appear loving and caring, then turn around and force a child into years of suffering and then death.”

That was pretty specific. There was a story in the last one, Len was sure of it. “She is the kind of person who will smile sweetly at you while she stabs you in the back.”

“Do you want me to back off?”

“No. I’ll be grateful for all the backup I can get with Jocelyn.” Len huffed out a sigh. “We need to talk more. I have clearly accepted the you I know, and ignored the fact that there are other sides to you.”

“I’m sure I’ve done the same. Despite how long we’ve known each other, most of that time has been apart. We don’t know each other that well.” Chris put both hands on Len’s shoulders and leaned in to kiss him. “Maybe after you graduate, we should spend a few weeks on vacation before you come on board.”

“Now, that sounds like a plan. But we could also try talking to each other.” How many times had he and Chris said that? And then gotten distracted by makin’ love or food or something else. “I’m just not that good at the talking part.”

“And I’ve never had to do it before.”

That was another thing that wasn’t helping, Chris had no idea how to be in a relationship. And all of Len’s experiences were bad.

*****

It wasn’t a long drive. The place was just as Len described it. It looked like a modern version of an old Antebellum plantation.

They parked and walked up the tree-lined driveway. The house was huge with two-story white columns in the front. Floor-to-ceiling windows with jet-black shutters, on both levels. A veranda stretched across the front. And there were wide steps leading up to the door.

As soon as they were close to the door, it burst open and a little girl, with pink ribbons in her brown hair, came racing out screaming, “Daddy!”

Len knelt on the driveway and gathered her into his arms, kissing her head and then her face, choking out, “Oh, my darlin’ baby girl. I’ve missed you so much.”

“I’m not a baby anymore, daddy, ” she said, with tears easy to hear in her voice. “I’m almost eight.”

He laughed wetly. “In about six months.”

“Still almost,” she insisted and sniffed. “And not a baby.”

“You’ll always be my baby girl, Jo-Jo,” he said, picking her up and holding her close for a few minutes.

“Leonard,” came a cool voice.

Chris had been so engrossed in Len and Joanna’s reunion that he hadn’t noticed Jocelyn come out. She was stunningly beautiful, more so than Len had said. Blonde, tall, stately. Expensively dressed, with her hair cut very stylishly, but her frown was ugly. And her eyes were cold as ice.

“Jocelyn,” Len answered. His tone was colder than Chris had ever heard it. His cheeks were red with anger barely held in check. “I am going to take Joanna with me now. I also have a Starfleet event on the twenty-third. I can either have my mother or my sister babysit for Joanna, or I can bring her back here for the night.”

“I’d much rather you brought her here. I’ll decide then if I let her back out after that.” She folded her arms over her chest as if she would brook no argument of her edict.

“No, Mommy! You promised me I could spend the winter holiday with my daddy,” Joanna said, her arms tightening around her father.

“As I said,” Jocelyn started. “I –”

“You are not going to play these games with me anymore. If you try and pull something like that and deny me my rights, I will get a court order. I will have her for the whole holiday.” Len shifted Joanna back to the ground and took her hand.

“You can’t get a court order here,” she sneered at him, sounding very sure of herself.

“Of course, I can.”

“And if by some chance, he can’t. I certainly can,” Chris said. She focused on him. And blinked.

“Well, who in the world are you? Why on Earth do you think you could get something like that for Leonard?” she asked. Her tone had changed, becoming slightly less clipped. More genteel.

“I’m Captain Christopher Pike,” he said, giving her a hard stare. “Of Starfleet.”

For a second, Jocelyn looked unsure. But she straightened up and glared at Len. “Why is he here?”

“He’s also my partner.” And Chris just loved hearing that come out of Len’s mouth. He moved to stand a little closer to Len.

She looked between them as if she didn’t know what to make of what Len had just said. “How could you get a court order?”

“I’d comm Starfleet legal and ask them to file for one,” Len said. “Trust me when I tell you that they will tear your lawyers to shreds.”

Her eyes widened just a bit. “I thought you were just a cadet or something. How do you rate Starfleet lawyers?”

“Oh, I’m a cadet. But I’m also part of the medical team. And they will not mind finding a judge to force you to do the right thing.” He smiled at Joanna. “Do you want to go get your things, honey?”

Joanna hugged him tightly. “Thanks, Daddy.” She ran back into the house.

“Don’t fuck with me, Jocelyn. I’m not grief-stricken or brokenhearted anymore. I will fight back.” Len glared down at her. “I will win.”

“You can’t touch me,” she said, sounding angrier than she had been, but not so imperious.

“Maybe, maybe not. But I can make your life very, very difficult. I’ll make sure your lawyers earn their fees.” Len’s tone could have frozen water in the tropics.

She stared at him for a moment. “I guess we’ll just see.” But she turned around and walked away.

Chris put a hand on Len’s arm. And he was trembling. “She can’t do anything. I already talked to a couple of the lawyers. She’s got a lot of money, but she doesn’t have the power her father had.”

Len just nodded. “I want to hate her, but she is kind of pathetic.”

Chris suspected that she wasn’t done with them yet. And he also suspected that she wasn’t as over Len as Len believed she was.

“Daddy,” Joanna came out dragging a pink suitcase after her. “Mommy is mad. But she’s talking on the comm so we should go, now.”

She stopped in front of Chris. “Who are you?”

“I’m Chris. I’m your Daddy’s partner.”

“Are you going to stay at Daddy’s house with us?”

“Yes. I am.”

“Good. I’m Jo-Jo. We should go now.”

*****

“Is she finally in bed?” Chris asked as Len came into the bedroom.

“Yes,” Len said with a sigh. “I didn’t think she’d ever wind down.”

“Are you okay?”

Len sat on the bed and then, laid back across the foot, blowing out a breath. “As much as I can be. I have missed her like a missing limb. I had kept it mostly at bay with letters and weekly comm calls. But seeing how much she’s grown and how much I’ve missed of her life, is like a knife to the gut.”

“Can I help?”

“You already have. Just having my back this afternoon was so satisfying. I’ve never had that with her before. It changed the dynamic,” Len said. “We should talk.”

“I don’t disagree with that. But is now the time?” Chris was tired and they had a packed two weeks coming. “Is there something specific?”

“The whole thing with you being the captain this afternoon just blew me away.” Len shifted up the bed to sit beside him.

Chris was sure, once Len saw him in command, it would all click for him. “On the one hand, because you’re in medical and they have their own command structure, you’ll always be outside of mine.”

“But ultimately, you’re still going to be my commanding officer. And I am not sure how I’ll cope with that.”

“It’s going to be tricky given our relationship,” Chris said. And he knew other couples who had navigated this course. The first month or two would probably be hard until they found their equilibrium with it.

“You’re expecting me to be your CMO at some point.”

“Doctor M’Benga has already told me he doesn’t want to stay in space. So, with some luck, you’ll have a few years to learn what you need to know about being on a starship and dealing with that.”

“You’ve got this all planned out, haven’t you?” At least, he smiled when he said it.

“Are you not in agreement with it? I just assumed you’d want to stay on the ship.” Chris hadn’t added the ‘with me’, but he hoped it was implied. “Maybe that was premature.”

“I’m hoping to want to stay. But the two months I spent in space this summer, were the first two months I have ever been in space. Until recently, I’ve had severe aviophobia.”

“Phil mentioned that.”

“I was okay this summer. I could function. I think that more time in space will help. But there’s also Joanna to consider.”

“You do know you could bring her on board. There are children of all ages on exploration vessels. We have a pediatrician on staff.”

“I’ve met him. How many children are there on board?”

“Maybe a dozen. I know it’s not entirely safe to have the kids around. But you can’t separate children from their parents especially if they both serve on the same ship.”

“And married couples can serve together,” Len said. “I’m assuming we’re heading in that direction.”

“I hope so.” Part of Chris wanted to ask now, and most of him knew that there hadn’t been time for them to truly know each other. “We have a lot of details to work out first.”

Len nodded. “And talking to each other might help. We should at least know the basics. Who is your next of kin if both your parents are gone? Where are you from? Do you live in San Francisco when you’re not in space?”

“It probably won’t surprise you that Phil Boyce is listed as my next of kin. We met at the Academy. I was born and raised in Mojave, but I sold the family ranch there after my mother passed about five years ago. My father passed six years before that. I bought the house in San Francisco maybe ten-twelve years ago, but I also have a ranch that I don’t get to often enough, in Bear Creek, Montana. Your mom is your next of kin?” Chris guessed.

“Yes. I don’t have a lot of friends. I’ve lost touch with everyone when I left Atlanta.” Len breathed out sharply. “I was all on my own when I first got to the Academy. And I’d never been on my own like that before.”

Chris took his hand and interlaced their fingers.

“After I met you, I stopped trying to drink my problems away. Something about that night changed me. Your kindness gave me hope. I guess I also realized no one was going to fix it for me, so I had to do it myself. I just put one foot in front of the other and did what needed to be done. Dr. Boyce probably doesn’t realize what a help he was to me.”

“You might tell him. I think he cares about you a lot.”

“I’m just not good at expressing myself to people. I think that might be part of what happened with Jocelyn. She wanted more of me than I could give her. Not that what she did was remotely forgivable.”

He brought Len’s hand to his mouth and kissed the back. “She’s been pretty unforgivable in all of this. Did you ask Joanna about her?”

“Yes. And as far as I can tell, Jocelyn is a good mom, even if she’s a miserable human being,” Len said with a sigh. “I’m not sure how it works, but Joanna seems okay. She said her momma only gets angry when I come up in conversation.”

“That could be a lot.”

“Apparently not. And she doesn’t get angry with Joanna, only me.”

“Lucky you,” Chris said.

*****

They exited the shuttle bay in San Francisco. “Let’s go home and relax,” Chris suggested. At this point, he just wanted to sit in his quiet house for a while.

Len nodded.

They were both already exhausted. They had gone nonstop, entertaining Joanna with something new every day. The children’s science museum, the air and space museum, the zoo, a picnic with Len’s family, and any other thing they could think of to amuse her. Chris had taken them both horseback riding in a park near the house. Len and Joanna had both taken a lesson before, to make sure they would stay in the saddle.

Chris enjoyed both riding again and watching Len and Joanna have fun with it. After Len’s graduation in May, he hoped to take them both to the ranch in Montana for a few days.

Tonight, they would meet Phil and Adriana, and Captain Batel and Number One, for dinner, and then go to the ball together. He doubted any of them were looking forward to it.

“How long do we have before we meet everyone for dinner?” Len asked.

“A couple of hours. Time for a nap,” Chris said as he opened the door.

“Or other things,” Len suggested as they went upstairs to put their uniforms away.

Chris kissed him. “That too.” He hung up his garment bag in the bedroom closet. He turned around to look at Len and thought again about how beautiful he was. And how lucky Chris was to have him in his life.

But there was so much they still didn’t know about each other. All the conversations he’d previously insisted on with new lovers never happened. He wasn’t sure any of it was necessary with Len. But there was a niggling voice in his mind asking what if it was.

“I can hear you thinking from here,” Len said. “And it’s not good thoughts about what we could be doing right now, either. What is on your mind, my darlin’?”

“I was thinking about all the steps we’ve skipped in our relationship. And maybe we need to talk about some of them,” Chris said.

“We’ve started this conversation before,” Len said. “Many times.”

“And usually end up having sex instead,” Chris said, leaning in to kiss him.

Len opened his mouth to the kiss. And after a few more kisses, pulled back. “Do you really want to have it now?”

He didn’t. Chris wanted to keep kissing him and let the slow arousal build until they had to do something about it. “I usually have several conversations before I even start a relationship that you and I have never had.”

“Do we need to have them now? I mean, we’re pretty far past the start of this relationship,” Len said. Sounding like he wasn’t sure where Chris was going with this.

Which was a valid point since Chris wasn’t sure where he was going either. Just that he felt like he should at least think about it. “I don’t know. Part of me worries that something will come up, but mostly, at this point, I don’t think the things I’m usually worried about will come up.”

Len pulled back a little. “What things? I am not sure what you’re saying. Something sexual?”

“Yes,” Chris said. This felt awkward to him, and he didn’t want to push too hard. “As I said, it would probably have come up already, if it were going to.”

“I’m pretty sure that sex is the one thing we get totally right. It has never been as good with anyone else, as it is with you.”

“That is true,” Chris paused and sighed. Talking should not be this hard. “I think with us, there are other things involved as well.”

“Like knowing all the little details. Which neither one of us are good at talking about. And half your life is classified,” Len complained.

Chris smiled at that. He wished he could do something about all the information he was never going to be able to talk about. “At least, we can talk about what isn’t classified.”

“Is there something you want that you’re not getting?” Len asked.

“Aside from you being next to me every night? I can’t think of anything.” He really couldn’t. His relationship with Len, despite the gaps in knowledge and understanding, was so much better than any other relationship he’d had. “I have to believe that we’re going to be able to fill in the gaps.”

Len grinned. “If either of us was willing to talk about things. But right now, I think we’re done talking.” He put his hands on the bottom of Chris’ shirt and lifted it over his head.

They probably didn’t have time for this now. But damn, Chris didn’t care. He backed up until the back of his knees hit the side of the bed, then he slid in, and Len laid down on his back, and he turned to lie beside him.

They’d finished in barely enough time to get cleaned up and get into their uniforms before Phil and Adriana arrived.

“Phil, Adriana,” Chris said, hugging him and then Adriana. “Good to see you both. How have you been.”

“Good,” said Adriana. “Not looking forward to this again.”

“I know. Bunch of nosey admirals.” Chris laughed.

The door sounded again, and Chris went to open it. Captain Batel was in her dress uniform, but Number One was in a gown.

“Good evening to you both,” he said, opening the door wider to let them in.

There were more pleasantries exchanged and finally they were off to dinner and the ball.

*****

Chris stood with Phil and Adriana near the staircase that led up to the entrance. The ballroom was glass on all sides and opened out onto a garden. It was all temperature controlled so that couples could stroll the gardens or sit outside. Most of the assembled were dancing to the live band. They weren’t bad, Chris supposed.

There was an open bar to the left, and several people were drinking heavily. While he held a cocktail, he hadn’t had more than half of it. Drinking too much at these things could lead to embarrassing yourself.

He was watching Len dance with Captain Batel. She was letting him lead.

“Come dance with me, Chris. We can cut in on our partners.” Number One held out her gloved hand and he took it.

“You clean up well, Number one,” he said. She looked spectacular in her strapless black gown with gloves up to her elbows, and her hair all done up.

“Thanks. Since I was the date, I got to dress up.”

“Shall we cut in now?” Chris asked.

She nodded and they danced close enough for Number One to tap Len on the shoulder. He was a graceful dancer, though he probably hated doing it. They switched partners, in a twist of their bodies in time to the music. Len was in his arms, and she was in Batel’s. None of them ever stopped moving.

“Ah, finally,” Len said, stepping closer to him. “I like the captain just fine, but I’d much rather dance with you.”

Chris nodded. He’d much rather be holding Len close rather than dancing, but that would have to wait at least another hour or two. But Len leaned closer and wrapped an arm around his waist to pull him in tight for a kiss. It held for longer than was appropriate, but Chris could not find it in himself to care. Finally, Len pulled back, and when he opened his eyes, he could see the people around him giving him amused looks.

Fuck it. It wasn’t as if it was a secret. There was something liberating about not having to worry about someone finding out because everyone already knew about them.

“How much longer,” Len growled. “I want to get out of here.”

“Patience, Doctor McCoy.” He grinned. “Patience.”

“I’ll give you patience, captain. Later, when I’ve got you home and to myself.” The promise was nearly explicit.

And Chris sucked in a deep breath. He looked at his watch. He didn’t care. “Let’s start our goodbyes. It’s going to take a bit of time to get out of here without being rude.”

“I don’t give a fuck about being rude,” Len assured him.

“I do.” But by the time they made it back to the group, they all seemed ready to go.

“Are you heading out, Phil?”

“Adriana is tired. And so am I,” Phil said.

“These things are draining,” Chris agreed. “We’re heading out too.”

“I’ll make your goodbyes, if you both just want to go.”

He smiled at Phil. “Thanks.”

*****

They sat apart in the cab back to Chris’ house, not speaking. By the time they got there, Len was nearly shaking with the need to touch Chris.

“I believe I said something about patience,” Chris said as they came into the living room.

“But who is teaching who?” Because Len could go either way on this tonight.

“That depends on what you want?”

“Do you even care?”

Chris took him into his arms and held him. “About you, and what you want, always. About who’s on which end, tonight. Not as much. But since you asked, why don’t you take off all your clothes where you stand.”

“And maybe you should leave all of your clothes on,” Len suggested. “Because there is something about a man in a uniform that just does it for me. Or maybe it’s just you.”

“It had better be just me,” Chris said, kissing him deeply before releasing him. “Let me see what you got.”

“You’ve seen it before.” But Len slowly started to undo his uniform jacket. He dropped it over a chair. And then pulled his shirt over his head. He pulled off his boots and socks and slid out of his pants and underwear.

It was kind of sexy to be naked when Chris was still dressed in his uniform shirt and pants. He’d taken off the jacket. The feel of the leather sofa was cool against his bare skin as he sat down. He spread his legs.

Chris knelt between them.

Len’s heart started to pound as Chris’s head bent to his cock, without preamble. Wet heat engulfed him. It was like going from zero to sixty in a split second. Pleasure rushed through him and suddenly he was out of breath. He reached out to slide his hands through Chris’ thick hair.

Len let his eyes close, and he leaned back against the sofa. Pleasure built quickly, but as soon as he was almost ready to come, Chris lifted his head.

Before Len could muster a complaint, Chris leaned up and kissed him. Then, he was turned around, so that his chest and face were pressed into the cushions of the sofa. Chris’ warm hands moved down his sides, spreading his legs again, rubbing over his back. And then, Chris’ tongue leisurely started to lick down Len’s spine, moving lower, to press into him, driving him half mad with want.

Len pushed back into Chris’ mouth, moaning. He could do that all night, Len thought.

Finally, a slick finger moved into him, and he pushed back against it. But Chris seemed in no hurry to move things along. He lazily slid a second finger in. This was taking way too long.

“Get on with it,” Len ordered, finally. “I’m dyin’ here.”

“In my own time,” Chris said, but he pulled Len’s hips forward and slid into him, all the way.

Len panted for a minute as a hundred sensations washed over him. He could feel his ass pressed against Chris’ open pants and he imagined the image that made. That was just the sexiest thing ever. But after that, he couldn’t hold on to any of his thoughts as Chris started to move and the shocky electric sparks began.

Soon, Len was spiraling out of control, pushing back into Chris’ thrusts, moaning incoherently and so, so, so close. “Please,” he begged, torn between never wanting it to end and needing to come.

“I’ve got you.” Chris’ slick hand reached around and stroked his cock as he was pressed into the sofa.

He came, hard, and he vaguely heard Chris follow him.

Damn, that was so good. Chris moved off him and turned him around. They both ended up sitting on the floor beside the sofa as they got their breath back.

Len leaned forward and kissed him. “That was amazin’, my darlin’ captain.”

Chris just smiled at him. “Glad to be of service.”

“Oh darlin’, you can service me anytime.”

*****

Chapter Nine – Holidays Part Two

After the late night, and the even later activities, they’d slept in and gotten back to Atlanta later in the morning than they had planned. Len could hardly wait to get Joanna back for the rest of their stay.

The door chimed. He and Chris looked at each other.

Jocelyn and Joanna were outside the door. This was probably not good.

“I thought I’d drop Joanna off. I have an appointment today,” she said. Her tone gave nothing away. She was dressed up, too.

“Thanks,” Chris said, pleasantly. “Do you want to come in? We were just having some coffee.”

“I would like to talk to Leonard, alone, if you please.”

And the alarm bells in Len’s head were starting to shriek red alert.

“‘Why don’t we go out and play on the swings, Jo-Jo,” Chris asked, looking down at her and smiling. “Would you like to do that?”

“You’ll push me?” she asked, smiling back at him.

“Of course.” Chris held out his hand and she took it.

As he was about to move away, Chris gave him a look with a raised eyebrow. If Len needed him, he’d stay. But truthfully, Len needed to do this himself. They waited by the door until Chris and Joanna had cleared the porch. “Come in, why don’t you?”

She did and followed him into the kitchen. “Coffee?” he asked.

“No, thank you.” She pulled something out of her carryall. “Would you care to explain this to me?”

He took it. It was a picture of him and Chris kissing from last night. It was a decent shot, and the passion of that kiss was evident. He wasn’t even going to address where she got it. “I think it’s pretty obvious what it is. I told you he was my partner.”

“Well, given how old he is, I wasn’t expecting it to mean what it clearly does.” Her tone was cold, but she also sounded somehow betrayed. As if he’d done something wrong.

At their age, it wasn’t that big a gap and as they aged it would be less so. Len shrugged. “What difference does it make?”

“How could you?”

Len’s jaw dropped. It took him a few seconds to find the ability to form words, and he was beyond furious when he did. “In what universe do you think you even get an opinion on who I choose to be with? You lost that right a long damned time ago.”

She just stared at him, shaking her head. “You’d choose him over me?”

He could not believe she’d just said that. “I left you. After you were unfaithful multiple times. With my best friend. And then you tried to destroy my life. There is no choosing anyone over you. The two events are not connected in any way. What is wrong with you?”

“I didn’t try –”

The laugh that burst out of him was bitter and angry. “Don’t even think you’re going to lie to me about that. I was there. You and your daddy did your level best to destroy me. I still don’t even know why. And now, I just don’t care anymore. I’ve moved on.”

“You left me. I just wanted you to come back.”

Wait. What. How was she thinking that was even possible? “So, you took every damned thing I owned and worked for away from me. To show me the level of your love for me? To convince me I should stay so you could what? Kill me the next time?”

“I would have taken you back,” she said as if that was the most logical thing in the world.

What the fucking hell was wrong with her. “I would have died before I went back to you. And that was before you and your daddy took every penny I’d ever made and tried to get me fired. Did you both laugh about how you thought after that I’d still come crawling back to you because I had nowhere else to go?”

“No, of course not. I just wanted you to come back home to me.”

He was watching her saying this, but he could not believe it was coming out of her mouth. Where had this even come from? “You were delusional. You need to get some help with this. I’m serious.”

“I just always thought you’d come back to me,” her voice was shaky and small. Like a child who doesn’t understand why something has happened to her. She didn’t seem to realize that she was the one who tried to break her toy.

But Len couldn’t help her. So maybe driving the point home would get her back on track. “Let me state for the fucking record: I was never going to come back to you, then. I will never come back to you, now. Not. Ever. Do you understand me?”

He met her eyes, and he saw that she did understand. And part of him didn’t care that he was hurting her. But some part of him still did.

He went on. “Let me tell you what will happen, though. Probably next year, I’m going to get engaged to Chris. And sometime after that, we’ll get married. I’m going to live with him on a fucking starship and I’ll always, always be out of your reach.”

“No. No. You can’t marry someone else.” Her eyes were suddenly wild.

He snapped his fingers in front of her face. “Jocelyn. Jocelyn. You need to talk to someone about this. You are not thinking clearly.”

She sat down and shook her head. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that. Of course, you can marry him, if that’s what you want, and I…” she paused and swallowed, then met his eyes again and hers were now clear. “I wish you both the best.”

What the fuck just happened? “You need to go see someone, and I mean soon. What you did to me before was insane. And what I just saw is worse.” He honestly wished it was just meanness rather than madness. “You need to get some help coping.”

“All right,” she said, standing. “Please bring Joanna home on the third.”

“Where are you going now?” Len asked, not even sure why. Or that he cared that much.

“I’m going to see Charlie Parker.”

That shouldn’t hurt as much as it still did. “You’re still involved with him?”

She just nodded. “I can’t seem to help that either.”

“He’s married.”

“I always thought that would have made it easier to let him go when you came back to me. Or so the theory was. I guess I should end it with him since clearly, you’re not coming back.”

Len drew in a breath. “You need to get some help with all of this.”

“I’ll think about it.” Jocelyn picked up her carry-all and left without another word.

Len sat down at the table, closed his eyes, and took a deep breath and then another. He wanted to hate her, but she was too wounded for that. How had he never noticed?

*****

Chris and Joanna stepped off the porch and made their way across the yard. One of the reasons he’d rented this house was the big backyard with all sorts of children’s toys and equipment. He held Joanna’s hand.

They had been planning to go back out to the McCoy farm for dinner with Len’s sister and some of the extended family. He’d barely had time to get to know any of them.

He followed Joanna to the swings.

“Christopher Pike to Eleanora McCoy,” he said into his comm unit.

“Chris? Everything all right?”

“I need to ask a favor. I’ve got Jo-Jo with me, while Len and Jocelyn are having a chat. I remembered that you said you wanted to teach her how to make cookies. Maybe this afternoon? I bet she would like that.”

Eleanora didn’t hesitate. “Oh, what a wonderful idea. Let me talk to her.”

He handed his comm to Joanna, who did seem to like the idea. He hated the thought of handing her off to her grandmother, but Len was probably not going to be fit company after the confrontation he was sure was coming.

Maybe Chris was wrong, and it would be okay. They could go out there after he made sure.

Joanna handed the comm unit back to him. “I’ll be coming to get Jo-Jo in a few minutes,” Eleanora said. “I was already out and about.”

A few minutes later, she walked into the backyard. Joanna ran over to her and hugged her.

“Grammy, we’re going to make cookies?” She sounded excited by the idea.

Eleanora nodded. “I’ve promised you I’d teach you.”

“Thanks for coming,” Chris said.

She smiled slightly and looked down at Joanna. “Come back out this afternoon and I’ll show you how to make cookies, too.”

He smiled at that. “I already know how to make them.”

“You can cook?” Eleanora asked, clearly surprised.

“It’s a hobby of mine.”

And that just made her smile. “It’s a good hobby to have. I’ll see you both later this afternoon.”

“Yes ma’am.”

And then they were gone.

*****

Chris opened the kitchen door after he saw Jocelyn leave, Len was sitting at the table, his head in his hands. He looked up when Chris sat down next to him, and his expression was so sad. Chris took his hand and interlaced their fingers, then, just held it as he waited for Len to speak.

“Where’s Joanna?” Len asked.

“Your mom came and got her. She’s going to teach her to make cookies this afternoon,” Chris said. “What did Jocelyn say?

“It was strange listening to her talk. She had this insane idea that even after what she’d done to me, everything her daddy had done to me, that I’d still come crawling back to her.”

“Maybe she doesn’t know you as well as you think she does. What else did she say?”

He told Chris about their conversation. The parts that seemed like she was caught in the past and the parts where she pushed it back.

“Do you think she’s dangerous to herself or Joanna?” Chris asked carefully.

“I don’t think so. I think there is some part of her that just hasn’t accepted that I’ve moved on and there is no chance of me coming back to her. Truthfully, I think that her daddy probably promised her that he’d get me to come back to her. And she can’t get past that.”

“They didn’t know you as well as they’d thought they did,” Chris said.

Len nodded. “I was never who they thought I was. I didn’t care about her money. I loved her.” He sighed. “I look at her now and wonder where the girl I knew went to. There’s nothing left of her anywhere that I can see.”

Len moved his chair closer and laid his head on Chris’ shoulder. “Thanks. I need a minute or two to catch my breath.”

Chris rubbed Len’s back soothingly. “We’ll go out to the farm as soon as you’re ready.”

“I want to comm Adriana Boyce and see if she can recommend someone for Jocelyn,” Len said. “Honestly, I’m torn between wanting to help her, and wanting to be totally done with her.”

“As long as Joanna is a child, you’re still tied to her, at least peripherally.”

“I know. I guess I should try and help her, then,” Len said, his tone resigned.

“You can give her the name of a doctor, but you don’t have to be actively involved. Adriana can probably help, too. And maybe you should talk to her, too,” Chris suggested. It probably wouldn’t hurt Len to talk to someone about this.

“I’ve had some counseling. It’s the only reason I’m sane on the subject of Jocelyn. I was so angry and hurt by her, that I am amazed I can even talk to her now.”

“Comm Adriana. I’m going to make some more coffee,” Chris said, giving Len a quick kiss and standing.

*****

Chris was working in the kitchen on a veggie and tofu stir-fry that Eleanora had asked him to do for the non-meat eaters. Which mostly consisted of cutting and frying the vegetables and tofu. He was surprised at how modern and well-equipped her kitchen was. She clearly liked to cook.

Everyone else was outside in the big backyard, and he’d heard one of Len’s cousins was grilling ribs and chicken. The kids were all running around. They were mostly younger than Joanna, but she didn’t seem to mind playing with her cousins.

Billy-Ray Carson, who was Beth’s husband, stuck his head into the kitchen. “Momma asked me to see if you needed some help?”

He was a big man, at least three or four inches taller than Chris, with shaggy black hair that reached his shoulders. And a neatly trimmed dark beard. Broad through the chest and shoulders, though not overweight, he gave the impression of being huge. Rather like Mark Jeffries. Nice too, as far as Chris could tell. They’d only met twice so far.

“Do you cook, Billy-Ray?” Because it didn’t sound like anyone other than Eleanora knew how to cook.

“Nope. I can chop and cut, though. And I’m impressed with the way you remember everyone’s name. Even if you’ve only met them once.”

“That’s a necessity in my profession.” Chris smiled. “You could start a war on some planets if you mispronounce or forget someone’s name or worse, their title.”

Billy-Ray’s eyes widened. Like he’d never considered that before. “Seriously?”

“They teach you tricks in command school to remember names even with being told only once. Just takes practice.”

“You’ve had a lot? Of practice, I mean.”

“I’ve been in Starfleet for more than twenty years,” Chris said.

Billy-Ray looked surprised. “I didn’t realize you were that much older than Len. Though from what I can see, you seem well in sync with each other.”

It was true, but he didn’t think he’d ever heard anyone describe their relationship quite like that. “That’s an interesting way of putting it.”

“I’m a psychologist. I am trained to see how people interact with each other,” Billy-Ray said.

Well, that was something of a surprise. Especially since Len hadn’t mentioned it. “Have you spoken to Len about his ex-wife?” Chris asked.

“Not professionally. That’s a little too close to me, personally. Though truthfully, I haven’t spoken to Len in more than passing in a couple of years,” Billy-Ray said. “Interestingly, I got a comm this afternoon from a colleague of mine. She works for Starfleet. She asked me if I had time to see a woman who was having some problems coping with a three-year-old divorce. She also said this was a favor she was doing for a friend.”

“Adriana Boyce?” Chris guessed.

“I’m assuming Lenny called her,” Billy-Ray said. “And obviously I can’t see her.”

“He’s worried about Jocelyn.”

“I think we all are. She’s never really accepted the divorce. Mostly she walks around saying she’s fine. But deep down, I think she believes he’ll come back to her one day.”

“That is not going to happen. I mean, even if I wasn’t in the picture. Len would never go back to her.” Chris knew Len needed to work through the family dynamics of all of this.

“I don’t know any of the details, but I get the impression that she and her daddy did a number on him.” Billy-Ray pushed his hair back from his face with both hands. “I was away at college finishing my Ph.D. when they got married. But I knew Lenny and had been dating Beth for years. I was there for the end, though. The last time I saw Lenny before he disappeared off the face of the earth, he was drunk and as broken as I have ever seen anyone. He wouldn’t let anyone near him. I’ve never seen anyone in that bad a shape, come back from that the way he has. Not without professional help.”

Chris was not going to address that right now. “When was that?”

“Beginning of August. Right before he signed up. Which he did without telling a soul. He just disappeared. Commed his momma, a month or so after the fact. And didn’t bother to comm his sister until months later. Beth was pretty hurt by the whole thing,” Billy-Ray said and he met Chris’ eyes. “When did you meet him?”

“November of that same year. The night we met, he’d lost a patient, and Jocelyn and her father had gotten him declared unfit for custody of Joanna.”

He whistled. “Good God almighty. I had no idea she’d gone that far.”

“He tried to drink six double shots in rapid succession. He got sick and I took him home and cooked him dinner. He left the next morning.”

“O-kay.” He stretched out the word. “How do you both get from there, to here?”

What should he say? This was Len’s family and was going to probably be his family as well, at some point down the road. Plus, everyone already knew some part of this. “We met again last summer. He was on my ship for cadet rotation in medical.”

Billy-Ray laughed. “Oh, I bet that went over well with Starfleet.”

“There are protocols in place for those circumstances.” He hadn’t meant to sound quite so prim when he said that.

He gave Chris a side-eyed look. “Such as?”

Chris sighed. “Written consent forms. All completely above board. No secrets.”

Billy-Ray looked surprised, but then he nodded. “Well, that’s good, because you can’t take advantage of someone in those circumstances. And of course, Lenny was already past thirty and a brilliant doctor, so it probably wouldn’t have mattered anyway. But it’s bad too because it’s going to hinder the growth of the relationship.”

“How so?” Chris asked.

“Depending on the people, of course, you’re immediately put into an established relationship. You’re not going to be able to date or get to know each other because the relationship has progressed past those details. I get the impression from what you’ve said that you both didn’t get to date much.”

Chris was surprised that Billy-Ray had gotten that so quickly. “We’re just starting to realize that we went from a one-night stand to that established relationship without all the steps in between.”

“And now you’re both trying to backtrack and fill in the gaps,” Billy-Ray said.

“Pretty much. But we know there are gaps there. And we’re working on it,” Chris said. But they had a long way to go with it.

“I’m sure you’ll both work it out. As I said, you’re really in sync with each other.”

“Was there something else you wanted to know?”

“Nope. I guess you realized I was sent in here on reconnaissance by Beth.”

“Some version of the shovel talk?”

He laughed at that. “Oh, I don’t think she would have thought of that. But I would if I thought it were necessary. Lenny might have walked away from us, but none of us abandoned him. He is my brother through Beth.”

“I didn’t get the impression that Len thought he was that close to anyone here,” Chris said. And by the look on Billy-Ray’s face, which was resigned, it was clear that he knew that already. Maybe Chris should think twice about saying anything else.

“I’ve known him since I started to date, Beth. In secondary school. Beth is two years younger than Lenny and me. He and I were in the same class in school, and it wasn’t that big a school. Though I was an athlete, and Lenny was smarter than anyone else. He went to Ole Miss and met Jocelyn. She was from here, too. Though a different, higher end of here, than the rest of us.”

After his last comment, Chris wasn’t sure it was his place to question Billy-Ray, but he wanted, needed to know more. “And now,” he finally settled on.

“Now, I don’t know. None of us have seen him in two and a half years. I know Beth and our kids all missed him terribly,” Billy-Ray said.

“Despite what he’s said, I think he must have missed all of you, too.” Chris was coming to realize that Len needed his family back.

Billy-Ray nodded. “I’d like to believe that. If for no other reason than Beth would be heartbroken to find out, he walked away and there wasn’t a good reason for it, other than he didn’t care.”

“I don’t believe that the man I know would do that. He’s got his issues, we all do –”

“And Lenny can compartmentalize better than anyone else I’ve ever met. But that doesn’t mean he can close off the emotions, just keep them at bay for a while.”

“I’m aware of that.” Before Chris could say anything else, Len came into the kitchen and glanced between them.

He put both hands on Chris’ shoulders possessively. “Billy-Ray?”

“Been chatting with your man here.” He stood. “Adriana Boyce called me. For obvious reasons, I can’t work with Jocelyn, but I’ll send you a couple of names for her.”

Len’s hands lost some of their tension. “Thanks, man. I appreciate that.”

“You might not remember this, but we’re family,” Billy-Ray said, but not angrily as Chris would have expected. More, frustrated, or even a little hurt, maybe.

“I thought everyone would be furious with me. The way I left and not getting in touch for so long after that.”

“We’re family. We have to forgive you. And really, we all know something happened with the divorce, though not what. I’m glad that you’ve recovered.”

His hands squeezed Chris’ shoulders. “Recovering. I had help.”

Billy-Ray smiled at that. “Good. We’re here for you, too.”

“I know. And for what it’s worth, I’m sorry.”

“You should talk to Beth, Lenny.” Billy-Ray punched him lightly on the shoulder as he walked by.

Len sighed and dropped into an empty chair. “I probably should. But I would probably make things worse, not better.”

“We’re here a few more days,” Chris said. “Maybe give it a try? I get the feeling you missed your family more than you’re telling me.”

“Probably. I hate to think about how I left them,” Len said, quietly. He let out a sigh. “Did he say anything I should know about?”

“No. Just a few more details on your life.”

“And who is going to give me the details of your life?”

Chris laughed. Who indeed. “You might try Phil.”

*****

It was their last night in Atlanta. Tomorrow morning, he’d take Joanna back to her mother, and then, he and Chris would leave in the afternoon for San Francisco. It was past time to do this. They were all sitting out on the back porch drinking mint juleps even though it was winter rather than summer. The kids were all playing in the yard.

“Beth, honey?” Len said. “Let’s go take a walk?”

She looked up at him. And then around at Billy-Ray and Chris. “Alone?”

He nodded and held out his hand, not sure she’d take it. But she did. “Come on, then.”

“Let’s go down the lane?” Len suggested.

They walked for a few minutes in silence. The tension between them was palpable. Even though they were two years apart, they had been close. Right up until his marriage to Jocelyn had fallen apart. It was finally occurring to him, that her betrayal and his inability to deal with it, had almost destroyed his relationships with just about everyone else.

“Okay, we’re out of earshot,” she said, looking warily at him. “Let’s hear it.”

“I’m sorry, Beth. I really, truly am,” Len said. He wished he could convey exactly how sorry he was, but it was probably beyond him. Looking at her angry face, he felt like he’d failed her. And he had.

“You left us. Without a fucking word. How could you do that?” She smacked him on the arm, hard enough to sting.

He supposed he deserved that. “I wasn’t in very good shape, then.”

“Whatever she did to you, we would have stood by you. You should have known that,” Beth hissed. Her cheeks were red, and he could tell her anger was rising.

He had no idea what to do about it. “But I was messed up enough that I didn’t know it, then. That’s how bad a shape I was in. I was–.”

“You should have damned well known we would have supported you. How could you leave us like that? We’re your family. We love you.” Her eyes flashed. And she looked like she might hit him again.

“I thought Jocelyn was my family too. My first family priority, I thought, was her. But she betrayed me so incredibly thoroughly.” He was surprised he’d even gotten that out. It was so humiliating to admit what Jocelyn had done to him.

Something in his tone must have gotten to Beth because she just stared at him. “Just what exactly did she do to you, because you’ve never said.”

He looked down and then back at her. This was always going to be so hard to talk about. To admit what happened was embarrassing beyond words. But glancing at Beth now, there was no choice.

And he took a deep breath and told her everything. About Jocelyn, her father, Charlie Parker. The hospital. Everything.

“God almighty! How dare she treat you like that,” Beth spat out. “I know her daddy was a wealthy, powerful man, but if I’d known at the time, we could have fought them. She isn’t the only one who can afford high-priced lawyers. Even if you couldn’t. Billy-Ray and I surely could have. And we would have. You needed to trust us.”

He looked down, not able to meet her eyes. “I was in such bad shape, Beth. My whole damned world collapsed. I was afraid to trust anyone. I was so hurt and humiliated that I just couldn’t say anything to anyone.”

She pulled him into her arms and held him. And he just breathed in her righteous anger, fighting back tears. “Thanks,” he choked out. “I met a doctor at that conference where I demonstrated one of my new techniques, and he offered me a way out.”

“Starfleet?”

“Yes. I could be an officer in three years, and that would make sure she and her daddy couldn’t touch me ever again. I just signed my name and packed a suitcase and left.”

“Oh, you poor thing,” Beth said, putting her hand on his back. “You should have said something.”

Len nodded. “I realize that now. I should have. I’m sorry.”

“I am too. That was a heavy load to bear by yourself. What happened? I mean even after you left.”

He stepped back completely, and she let him go. “I was in school again after having been a doctor. With kids, ten years younger than I was. And the state I was in just got worse until I found out about the custody. That was the same night I had a patient die because there was nothing I could do to save her. I literally fell apart. I found a bar not too far from campus and started to drink myself stupid.”

She looked at him and took his hand, and just waited.

“I met Chris that night. He was in the bar. And, well, he was so very kind to me. He took me home and fed me dinner, and then,” he stopped and left it there. He didn’t look at her.

“I’m no expert on that kind of thing, but I don’t think that should have been enough to set you back to rights.”

He found it hard to put into words. “It made all the difference. Here was this man, this beautiful, kind man, who didn’t know me, and yet, he was reaching out to help anyway. He gave me a moment of peace that I desperately needed. Somehow, it helped restore my faith in myself. If I was worthy of that from a stranger, then maybe I was not as worthless as I felt.”

Len took a shuddering breath. “When I left his house in the morning, I knew I could get on with things. I went to Starfleet Legal. They were able to sort Jocelyn and her daddy out. The order was rescinded. They were pretty sure it wasn’t legal anyway. And I was able to contact Joanna again.”

Beth was silent for a bit. “I’m glad he was there. He seems like a good man.”

“He is,” Len said. “I love him.”

She smiled at that. “Big surprise there. Couldn’t tell by the way you look at him. Or the way he looks at you for that matter.”

Len blushed. “I know. I’m pretty obvious.”

She pulled him in and hugged him again. “I’m really happy for you.”

“Thanks.”

“I do wonder why you didn’t go see Joanna before now. It’s not a long shuttle ride from San Francisco to Atlanta,” Beth said, a hundred questions in that one.

“I just couldn’t. I wasn’t planning to come back at all until I graduated and was an officer.” It got harder and harder. He lived for his weekly comm calls with her.

“But –”

“I missed her so badly. I just couldn’t wait any longer. I had to see her. Plus, she asked me to come home this year for the holidays.”

That got a smile from Beth. “And you’ve never been able to say no to her.”

“And isn’t that the truth.”

*****

A few minutes after Len and Beth left for their walk, Joanna came and sat beside Chris on the steps of the porch.

“Everything okay, Jo-Jo?”

She nodded. “Where did Daddy go?”

“He went for a walk with Aunt Beth,” Chris said. “He should be back soon.”

“You love him a lot, don’t you,” she asked.

He wasn’t an expert with children, but he knew not to lie to them. Not that he would deny what he felt for Len anyway. “I do love him a lot.”

She smiled at that. “I can tell. He is happy again.”

“I hope so.”

“I think you fixed him. He was sad. Every time I talked to him. I wished that he wasn’t.”

“I hope I did. I want him to be happy.”

“I do too,” she said and stood up. She reached out and pulled his sleeve a little, and he leaned towards her. She wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. “I’m glad you made him better.” She kissed him on the cheek. And then went back towards the other kids in the yard.

Chris sat back, fighting tears. He didn’t know what to do with this.

“Are you okay,” Billy-Ray said sitting down next to him a second or two later.

He sucked in a breath. “I have never had that much contact with children before. But with a few words, she made me feel like I’d done something remarkable for her daddy.”

“And, so you did. You brought him back to all of us.”

“He did that on his own,” Chris said, shaking his head.

“Whatever happened between you two, it was enough to get Len back on his feet, get him back on track to do what he needed to do. She could tell something had changed. Children have no artifice.”

“I see that.”

“You made her daddy happy when he’d been sad. That is all she cared about,” Billy-Ray said.

Chris was at a loss for words. Which didn’t happen to him often.

Billy-Ray looked at him. “Her daddy means everything to her. And you helped him. For her, it’s simple. She is going to love you too unless you give her reason not to.”

“I hope I can be worthy of that.” Because keeping both of his McCoys happy had become a top priority in his life. Not that it wasn’t before. But now it was acknowledged as such.

“I suspect that you won’t have a problem with it.”

He wasn’t going to address that now. But there was something else that was bothering him. “Do you think she’s safe with Jocelyn?”

“I think so. Jocelyn has a blind spot where Lenny is concerned. I think that if she gets some help, she’ll be okay. I don’t think she’d ever hurt Joanna.”

“Jo-Jo looks just like Len.”

“She really does. But, I don’t think it’s an issue. But we all see her about once a month.” He looked at Chris. “She asked you to call her Jo-Jo?”

“Yes. Why?”

“According to her, only family is allowed to call her that.”

Chris smiled widely. “I’m honored.”

*****

Before they had left, Billy-Ray had given him the name of two therapists to give to Jocelyn. She was lukewarm about it. But Len had done all he could do.

So, here they were again in the spacedock reception area. Waiting until the last second before Chris had to get on the shuttle to meet the Enterprise at Starbase twelve.

“I hate this,” Len said, pulling Chris into his arms, and holding on tight. “I really hate this.”

Chris turned into him, and his arms were just as tight. “I do, too. But it’s only five more months. I’m coming back for your graduation. Maybe we can find some time over Spring break. I’ll try and get back here. Or maybe we’ll be close enough for you to meet me somewhere.”

Len put his hand on Chris’ face and turned him slightly. “We’ll figure it out.” And he kissed him deeply, trying to convey what he knew Chris already knew. “Be safe. Come back to me.”

“I will,” Chris promised and stepped back as the last call announcement for the shuttle came over the speakers. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

And Chris turned and walked towards the boarding area. Len watched him until he disappeared onboard.

*****

Chapter Ten – Finishing Up At The Academy

A month later

Len waited for the screen to connect and focus. It had been a long month. He had missed Chris so much. This time it felt like the separation was wearing on him harder than before.

Chris’ face came into view, and he smiled at Len. “You look tired. How are things going?” Chris asked. “Did you see Joanna?”

He wasn’t going to address the first part of the question. He’d been trying to bury himself in work and school.

“Last weekend. Only for Saturday afternoon. She and I had lunch and went to the zoo. But I’m going to try and see her once a month until graduation.” It had been a lovely few hours just spending time with her.

“After your graduation, I was hoping that we could take her to the ranch in Montana for a few weeks,” Chris suggested.

“I’m sure she’d enjoy getting to ride again. I think she’s trying to convince Jocelyn to let her have lessons.”

“Girls and their horses,” Chris said, smiling. “No problems with Jocelyn?”

“No. Thank you for that. She’s been pretty accommodating since meeting you. And she’s also started to see a psychologist.” He didn’t have high hopes for her changing much. But as long as she didn’t try and keep Joanna away from him, he was not going to say anything.

“Well, that’s good. I hope it helps,” Chris said. He sounded like Len felt.

“What about you?” Len asked.

Chris let out a long sigh. “It’s been a long few days. I’ll tell you.”

“What’s going on? Did the coronation go all right? No problems?” Len asked.

“No, that was fine. If you call having to stand at attention for three hours and watching a twenty-year-old woman take a bath.” Chris let out a sigh.

What? “A bath?”

“Naked. She was anyway. We were in dress uniforms. Number One, Spock, La’an Noonien-Singh, Doctor M’Benga, and I all attended. And stood there and watched this elaborate bathing ceremony, before the coronation.”

“Sounds tedious.”

“Did I mention three hours standing at attention?” Chris laughed. “It was interesting. She got in and out of the bath. Prayers were said. She was installed as queen. The Federation was properly represented.”

“I heard that the commander and Captain Batel broke up.” He tried to keep his voice perfectly uninflected. He’d heard a rumor that Chris had spent the night on Batel’s ship after they’d been out drinking.

“Yes. Like the good friend that I am, I took her out a couple of days later, and we got totally shit-faced drunk together. I haven’t been that drunk in literally years. I’m surprised I managed to get her back to her ship in one piece. I passed out in her quarters for a few hours, before I made it back to the Enterprise.” Chris seemed to peer at the screen. “What?”

Len wasn’t going to ask what else happened. He wasn’t sure he wanted to know the truth. Okay. Yes, he did. But depending on the answer, it would hurt him. A lot. But did he want to let Chris know that? And hadn’t Chris said he would tell him?

“You’re not saying anything,” Chris said. “What is going on with you?”

Len closed his eyes for a second. This would be the one time that Chris picked to dig his heels in about something. But he couldn’t spell it out. “Nothing, really. Sorry, I was thinking about something else.”

“It doesn’t sound like you were thinking about something else,” Chris said with that half-smile he had when he was amused. “You know, you’re a terrible liar.”

“I know. But this is on me, not you. I’m the one with the insecurities,” Len said. He hated that Chris could get him to admit almost anything.

And for a second, Chris was quiet, just looking at him. “I slept on her sofa. Nothing happened. I would tell you.”

Len sighed. He wasn’t even going to acknowledge that he was relieved to have that reiterated.

When he didn’t say anything, Chris huffed and said, “I promised you that there wouldn’t be any more casual encounters. And, if something unforeseen does happen, I will always be honest with you. But you need to spell out what you want to know. I’m not always going to be able to guess.”

“You’ve done pretty well so far,” Len said. “And I’ll try and say what I mean.” Len knew that there could be any number of unexpected things that could happen in space. “I know that when you’re on a mission, things can happen –”

After a second or two of silence, Chris said, “Yes, things can and sometimes do happen on missions. Sometimes there is nothing you can do to stop it. But there are ways to discourage that kind of attention.”

“They train you to deal with that, don’t they?” Len asked.

“There are whole classes in it,” Chris said. “One of the ways is to wear something that you can show to say you’re spoken for. Most cultures won’t violate that.”

“So, you wear what, a wedding ring or something?”

“Or something. I wear my grandfather’s betrothal and wedding rings on a chain around my neck. I keep it under my jacket.”

“Betrothal?”

“Well, my grandparents wore them as engagement rings. But I usually use the more formal term. It translates better.”

“I haven’t seen you wearing them.”

“You wouldn’t. I mostly wear them when I’m going on diplomatic missions. I wore them for the coronation.” And then he looked right at Len. “You won’t see them until I offer them to you. It’s supposed to be bad luck for your intended to see them before they are presented.”

That made Len smile. “I won’t ask about them until you’re ready. I’m really looking forward to seeing you in person. And I have enough work to keep me busy on the ride.”

“A couple more weeks. That reminds me. Captain Batel can give you a ride home after we meet at spring break. So, it’s only one way on the shuttle.”

“That would be great.” He met Chris’ eyes through the screen. “Do you need something to tide you over?”

“What did you have in mind?” Len just loved the slow smile that Chris got when he was switching gears.

“Well, I could walk you through it,” he said. “Would you like that, my darlin’?” He let his accent come out more than he usually did. He knew how that turned Chris on.

Chris closed his eyes and breathed in audibly. “Oh, yes. I would like that a lot. What would you have me do?”

“Why don’t you take that new, fancy comm set-up you have and bring it into the bedroom? Drop the privacy screens and set it to emergency only and engage all the privacy protocols.”

“I can do that.”

Chris’ set-up had a widescreen, and Len could see a lot better than the hand-held ones. “All right now, Darlin’, go ahead and take off all your clothes. Let me see you.”

“What about you?” Chris asked, pulling the shirt over his head. “Are you going to join me?”

“Would that I could, my love,” Len said, pulling off his shirt, too. “But I thought this would be for you.”

“I want to see you as well. Take off the rest,” Chris ordered, as he shucked the last of his clothes, and stood there, just letting Len look at him.

“Lie down on the bed, my love.” Len sat down on his dorm bed. Thankful again for a single room. Between his age and the fact he worked at the hospital, he’d been granted a room to himself. “Imagine me kissing down your chest. How does that feel?”

“Good.” His tone was just a little breathy. “What are you imagining?”

Len leaned back. Just imagining what Chris would feel like on top of him, rubbing his body along Len’s. He breathed out sharply. It would feel so good to have him here. “Put some of the lube on your hand and slide your fingers over your chest, you know what you like.”

Chris’ hands moved over his chest, touching himself. And Len was surprised at how much it turned him on as well.

“All right, darlin’, Move your hand down, over your stomach. And just tease yourself now.”

Chris moved as requested and Len did as well. His slick hand was stroking himself as he watched Chris do the same. His heart rate was picking up. He was so turned on.

“Feels good, doesn’t it,” Chris breathed. “Stroke yourself a little harder. ”

Following his instructions, Len panted, “Not going to last much longer.”

“Me neither. You look so hot like that. So. Hot.” Chris made an incoherent sound and came.

Len stroked himself until he came too.

He took a couple of deep breaths and opened his eyes. Chris was splayed out on his bed, his arm over his eyes. “Damn. That was good.”

“It was. Not as good as being next to you, but it was hot.”

Chris looked up at him. “I’m going to pass out now. Love you.”

“Me too, my darlin’ captain.”

*****

“Erica,” Len called as he saw her come into Kelso’s. He waved her over to his table.

“Doc,” she said, embracing him. “It’s great to see you! You’re looking good.”

“I’m sorry to hear about your mother.” He motioned for her to sit down.

She slid into the booth across from him. “Yeah. Me too. She and I didn’t get along as well as we could have. My uncle, her brother, raised me.”

“Still, it’s your momma. It’s hard.”

She sniffed and nodded. “I will miss her, anyway.”

“Do you want something to eat? Or just a drink.”

“I could eat. I didn’t even know about this place. How’s the food?”

Len shrugged. “The food is good, and the drinks are better. But mostly it’s a quiet place to meet people off campus.”

“I’ve only got a few hours before my shuttle leaves.” She looked up and met his eyes. “Everything okay with you?”

Len blinked. “Why wouldn’t it be? I mean, I’m ridiculously busy. And I have almost a week off coming up next week, but I feel like I’m having to pay for it upfront. I’m heading out to see Chris.”

“Is he good?” She asked her tone a little tentative. Someone who didn’t know her probably would have missed it.

It made him wonder what she’d heard. “He was fine when I talked to him a few nights ago.”

“That’s good,” she said. “How are your classes going?”

“I’m about done. If they would have let me graduate in two and a half years, I would have been done in December,” Len complained.

“Most people can’t get close to that,” Erica said with a laugh. “Only you.”

The waiter delivered their drinks and their food. They ate in silence for a while. Len could sense something in Erica, and he wondered what was bothering her.

“Erica?” Len said, taking a swig of his beer. “What?”

“Nothing, really,” she looked down and was blushing. “Let it go, okay?”

“I feel like I’ve missed something. You know, you need to spell things out for me,” Len said.

“I don’t think so,” she said, still not looking up and she didn’t say anything else.

He wondered if she’d heard about the commander and Captain Batel. Or more likely that Chris had gone drinking with the captain. “You shouldn’t listen to gossip,” he finally said.

“What are you talking about?” She looked at him, but it seemed like she did know what he was talking about.

“Come on,” he said, giving her a look to say he knew.

“How did you know about it?”

“Chris told me he took Captain Batel out drinking after she’d broken up with the Commander. And nothing happened.”

Erica looked relieved. “That’s good.”

“Why didn’t you just ask me if I knew about it?” Len asked.

“I wasn’t sure if it was true or not. And I didn’t want to hurt you with it,” she said. “Especially if it wasn’t true. Why did you press me?”

“It seemed like you were, I don’t know, maybe upset about it,” Len said. He wasn’t going to talk about the conversation he’d had with Chris about it. “I know how you feel about him.”

“I respect him a lot,” Erica said, and she met his eyes. “And I didn’t think he’d do something like that to you. That’s another reason not to mention it.”

“Things happen. But that would be between him and me. Really.”

She was quiet for a minute and then nodded. “You’ve changed a lot.”

He hoped to hell so. The way he was before was unsustainable. “I guess you’re never too old to finally grow up.”

Erica laughed. “And here I thought you were already a grown-assed man.”

“And a doctor,” he said, smiling at her.

*****

After he walked Erica to the shuttle bay and said goodbye, he was heading back to his dorm and he saw a familiar person talking with Robert April and another woman, he recognized from medical. He thought she was head of the psychology department at the hospital.

“Billy-Ray?” He said. Everyone looked at him as he walked towards them.

“Len? I was going to comm you when I was done here. See if you wanted to have dinner before I head back to my hotel.”

Len stepped back. “I’ll wait for you to comm me, then.” Belatedly, he realized he probably should not have interrupted.

“I think we’re about done here,” Admiral April said. “We’ll let you know soon. It’s good to see you again Doctor McCoy. This is Doctor Martha Wells-Adams. She’s head of Psychology at the ‘Fleet Hospital. How are you doing?”

“I don’t believe we’ve met, Doctor McCoy, but of course, your reputation as an excellent surgeon precedes you,” she said, holding out her hand and he took it.

“Thank you, ma’am. It’s good to meet you, too.” He turned back to Admiral April. “I am doing well, sir. Very much looking forward to graduation and my first posting.”

And April smiled knowingly at him. “I’m sure the Enterprise will be very happy to have you back.”

“I haven’t heard officially, of course, but I’ll be pleased to be there,” Len said, neutrally. “I hope you and your wife are doing well.”

“We are, thank you for asking.”

“I’m sorry to interrupt. I saw Billy-Ray and I just came over without thinking. He’s my brother by marriage. I had no idea he was going to be here today.”

“Billy-Ray, William?” Doctor Wells-Adams said with a smile.

“Yes, ma’am. William Raymond Carson. My immediate family still calls me Billy-Ray.”

“I had no idea you went by anything else,” Len said. He wasn’t sure he could think of him as anything else, either.

The Admiral and Doctor Wells-Adams left shortly after that. He was left standing with Billy-Ray. “That looked like the end of a job interview.”

“It was. Beth and I have been talking about leaving Atlanta for a while now.”

He wanted to ask why, but it wasn’t his business. He was actually kind of surprised that he’d come over to see what was going on when he saw Billy-Ray. But he still felt like he needed to mend the fences with his family. “Is Beth here?”

“No. I’m only here for tonight.”

“Where are you staying? And why didn’t you tell me? Chris has a house here. You could have stayed there.”

Billy-Ray looked startled. “I’m not surprised that you have access to wherever he might live. But to offer it out to me? I’ve only met him one time during the holidays.”

“Why wouldn’t I? You said yourself, we’re family. That goes both ways, doesn’t it? You’d offer me somewhere to stay overnight. Ask your brother to put me up?” Len asked. And it bothered him that neither Billy-Ray nor Beth had let him know he was coming out.

“I would have. But you’re not like that.” Billy Ray’s tone was resigned rather than censuring.

Len thought he was probably right, at least in the past. “Maybe I’d like to get to be like that. I guess it’s too late to cancel the hotel.”

“I’ve already checked in,” he said, sounding a bit chagrined. “I probably should have let you know I was coming.”

“You should have,” Len said. “I’m assuming you’re applying for a civilian staff position.”

“Well, I’m not going to enlist.”

Len shook his head. No. Only he would do something like that. “I would think not. Plus, you don’t want to go off-world, do you?”

The look Billy-Ray gave him was almost annoyed. Like he didn’t know him very well. Which would be true.

“I would like to see something more of the galaxy than I’ve seen. But I’m not sure I can get Beth to leave Earth for anything more than a week or two’s vacation,” Billy-Ray said.

“Though there are a lot of places you can go see in that amount of time, without too much trouble.”

“Do you want to get an early dinner?” Billy-Ray asked.

“I had a late lunch with one of my crewmates from the Enterprise. But there is a diner around here where I could get some coffee and you could eat. We could talk. If you want.” And truthfully, Len was not sure what he wanted to do with that. But something was pushing him to try.

“Lead the way,” he said. “Who was the crewmember?”

“Erica Ortegas. She’s a good pilot and has become a good friend. Her mother passed and she was granted compassionate leave to come back and attend the funeral.”

“I’m sorry to hear it. Is she okay?”

“I think so. She had a difficult relationship with her mother. But it’s never easy to lose someone you love.”

They reached the diner, which was mostly empty. It was too early for dinner and too late for lunch. They made small talk while Billy-Ray ate, and he had two cups of coffee.

“So, how are you doing?” Billy-Ray said as he finished up his food.

“I’m doing well. I am finishing up the last of my classes. I’m going to see Chris next week, which I’m very much looking forward to doing.”

“It must be hard being separated like this,” Billy-Ray said.

“It is. You and Beth were separated for years during college.”

“We were. And that was hard. But we gave each other a free pass for those years. I don’t see that happening with you and Chris.”

Len shook his head but didn’t say anything else.

“Problem?” Billy-Ray said. “I’m good at listening.”

Len laughed. “I can’t be your patient. Despite everything, we’re too closely related.”

“I could be your friend,” Billy-Ray said. And damned if his tone didn’t say he really meant it. Probably had meant it all the other times he’d ever tried to be friendly with Len.

Len looked down, feeling his face heat up and feeling guilty. “I’m sorry. I haven’t treated you very well over the years, have I? But I would like that, being friends, now.”

“About fucking time,” Billy-Ray said with a huff. “I’ve been married to your sister for more than eight years. And that doesn’t even count the years we were dating.”

“I am just so bad with people.”

“You’re getting better,” Billy-Ray said. “I think Chris has something to do with that.”

“Probably. But like I told Erica earlier, I had to grow up sometime.”

Billy-Ray snorted. “What’s going on with you and Chris?”

There was some part of Len that didn’t want to say anything about it, but maybe it was time to try and open up. So, he told him about what happened. Even about not wanting to ask. And Chris reiterated that he would tell Len. And that he just could not deal with being lied to.

“Yeah,” Billy-Ray said. “That’s hard. I don’t know for certain what he was saying, but do you think he knows how much it would hurt you if he told you he was with someone else?”

Len thought that Chris probably did know that. No. He was sure that Chris knew exactly what it would do to him. Len sucked in a breath. And he also knew that Chris would never deliberately do anything to hurt him like that. He looked at Billy-Ray and met his eyes. “Thank you.”

“I don’t know him that well, yet. But one thing was very clear to me, he loves you dearly,” Billy-Ray said. “I think maybe he just hasn’t found the words to say what he’s feeling.”

“I probably should have figured that out on my own,” Len said, looking down. “What about with you, Billy-Ray? Did you use your free pass?”

Billy-Ray looked back at him. “I didn’t. Beth is all I’ve ever wanted in my life. No matter how lonely I was when she wasn’t there, someone else wasn’t going to fill that void.”

“You know, I understand that completely. It’s how I feel. If I can’t have Chris, then I’ll just wait until I can. Because nothing else, no one else, is going to make me feel better,” Len said.

That made Billy-Ray smile. “Exactly.”

He took a breath and asked, “Did Beth?”

“It was a free pass. I’ve never asked.”

“Seriously?” Len asked.

“I was usually so happy to see her that I didn’t want to ask what she did when I wasn’t there,” Billy-Ray said. “On another subject, it sounded like they are going to assign you to his ship?”

“I won’t hear officially until right before I graduate,” Len said.

“We’re planning to come out for it.”

He hadn’t even considered that they would care that much about his graduating from the Academy. But he should have. “I’m delighted that you’ll all be there.”

“We’re all proud of you. I’ve told you before, we’re your family. More than that, Chris is your family, so he’s going to be ours, as well.”

“I suspect that it’s going to be interesting for him to get used to that. He doesn’t have much family. Except for the chosen kind.”

“Those are good too. He’ll learn to deal with us.”

*****

Spring break went just as fast as Len thought it would. They barely left their hotel room, had a lot of room service, and mostly made love until they could barely move. He’d been glad to have the luxury of a much faster ride home because it meant another day with Chris. But it wasn’t enough. He could not wait to sleep next to Chris every night.

But right now, he had other things he needed to do.

“Excuse me, sir. I’m Doctor Leonard McCoy,” Len said as he came into the engineering classroom. Montgomery Scott was sitting at the desk in the front.

“You’re the cadet?” Mr. Scott asked, sounding incredulous.

Len was so glad that question was going to die a natural death in about three weeks. Because he was just done with it. “Yes, sir.”

“I was not expecting that.” His accent was thicker than Len’s and he did nothing to control it. “You’re a mite old for this.”

“You’re telling me,” Len said, sighing.

That got a smile. “What can I do for you, doctor?”

“I need an engineer to help me create a medical device to eliminate the delta radiation poisoning in a wound.”

Mr. Scott’s eyes widened comically, and he huffed out a surprised laugh. “I have to say that was not what I was expecting you to say.”

“I’m at the point in my research that I can finally start to design something, but my engineering skills are only rudimentary.”

“I’ll be here for three more weeks, and then I’ve been assigned to the Enterprise.”

He’d finally gotten written confirmation that “I will be there as well.”

Mr. Scott laughed. “I don’t think there is anyone in Starfleet who doesn’t know where you’ll be. However, I have other research I’m working on. But I’m willing to hear you out. Maybe, I can work on what you need as well.”

“Thanks. This is important to me.” He explained about Ana, and what it had done to him to not have any way to save her. “That was almost three years ago. Since then, I’ve managed to compile all the available research and come up with a theory, using Vulcan research, for something to draw out and clean the radiation wounds. If we can get the person into stasis immediately, that would be the key to saving them. We use the device to stop the cell disruption and then clean out the parts of the body that have been poisoned by radiation, and regenerate.”

“That’s a tall order, laddie. Especially when you’re starting from scratch with the device to do it.”

It wasn’t like Len didn’t know that already. “It’s a long-term effort. But we can work on a prototype.”

“Do you have a detailed description?” Mr. Scott asked. “I might be able to start work on thinking about it.”

“I know it won’t be easy. I know that it is going to take more years than I… many more years of work.”

Mr. Scott looked at him, surprised. He’d heard the slip. “How long do you have?”

Not how did he know? Or who. “A little over six years,” Len said.

“We don’t have enough time to finish it. Might get it to a useable state, maybe enough to do some good.”

Len looked down. “I know. But anything would be better than nothing. And nothing was what happened with Ana. I stood there and couldn’t do a damned thing.”

“Well, laddie, we’ll make sure there’s more you can do when the time comes. I’m not asking you anything else. I’m not sure I want to know. But I’ll help you.”

“Thank you, Mr. Scott. I’m deeply indebted to you.”

“Haven’t done anything yet.”

“You’re going to try. That’s all I can ask for.”

“Send me what you have. And I’ll put a design together for you.” He stood up. “And now, I think you and I need to have a drink or three. Do you drink scotch?

“Bourbon.”

Mr. Scott just shook his head.

Len had so much else he needed to do. But maybe a bit of time off would do him some good. He’d probably studied as much as he could at this point. Exams started next week.

*****

After all the hype and set up, the actual graduation itself was a letdown for Len. He was thrilled to get his commission and to have his family there to see it. But the long ceremony was dull with tons of speeches he was sure were supposed to inspire. Maybe he was too jaded at this point, or maybe he was just too tired from the run-up to this moment, whatever it was, he wasn’t enjoying it.

There was a party planned for after that Chris and his momma had put together. He had no idea who was going to be there.

When it was finally over, he hugged his fellow cadets. And then went to find his family. He’d been surprised to see Chris on the stage. Everyone had come in today, and he’d seen no one. He spotted Chris standing with his sister and Phill Boyce and stalked over to him.

“Len,” Chris breathed, his delight evident. “Congratulations. Or should I say, Lieutenant McCoy.”

“I still prefer Doctor McCoy,” he said, and he slid his arms around Chris and pulled him into a hug. “I have missed you so much, my darlin’ captain.” And then kissed him deeply.

Chris’ hand was in his hair. His other hand was on his back, pulling him closer.

“You might remember that you’re in public,” came someone’s amused voice. He thought it might be Phil Boyce.

“I haven’t seen him in six weeks,” Len growled and opened his eyes. “What does anyone expect of me.”

“Decorum?” his sister said.

“Not going to happen,” Len said. “Plus, you’re all just jealous.”

“Pretty as your man is, I most certainly am not jealous,” Beth said, smiling for all she was worth. “You’ve done well, Lenny. I’m so proud of you.”

Len let Chris go with a sigh. “Later,” he whispered and hugged Beth.

“Daddy!” Joanna cried as she ran over to him.

He knelt and scooped Joanna into his arms. “My darlin’ baby girl.”

“I’m not a baby. I’m eight now.”

“Don’t I know it. Did you like the ceremony?”

“It took a very long time.”

“Out of the mouth of babes,” Phil said with amusement in his tone.

“I am so proud of you,” his momma said, trying to embrace him but he hadn’t put Joanna down yet. “So proud of you.”

“Momma,” he said. “I’m glad you could see it.” He put his daughter down and fully embraced his momma.

“We would not have missed this,” she said.

“Way to go, doc,” Erica said, reaching over to hug him. “And congratulations, Lieutenant!”

“Thanks, Erica,” Len said, hugging her back.

It was all kind of overwhelming. He wasn’t used to having this many people around and all focused on him at one time.

Chris took his hand. “Let’s go back to the house. We’re going to celebrate this momentous occasion right.”

Len was happy to share this with everyone they cared about, but he would not have minded a two-person celebration. Maybe later.

*****

Back at Chris’ house, he and Len’s mom had a couple of tables of food and drinks across the open space of the living room and dining room. And maybe thirty people around the room talking and eating. Len knew almost everyone.

“So, I have been waiting to do this since last summer,” Chris said. “I even have your mother’s permission for it as well.” And he knelt on one knee in front of Len and opened the top button on his jacket, to pull a chain he was wearing out from around his neck. “These are my grandparents’ engagement rings. If you’ll have me.”

Fuck! He had not been expecting this quite so soon. Not like this. Not in front of everyone. He found he couldn’t speak, so he just nodded. “Yes,” he finally managed to choke out.

Chris looked relieved. As if there might have been any other answer he was going to get from Len. He opened the chain and pulled both rings off. “Hold out your hand,” he said, standing.

Len did as he was asked, and felt the ring pushed onto his finger. He would mostly have to wear it on a chain around his neck as Chris would. But God, he loved the feel of it, heavy on his hand.

He held out his hand, palm up for the other ring. When Chris gave it to him, he took Chris’ hand and put the ring on his finger. “I love you,” he said and leaned in to kiss him again.

This kiss held for a long time. He wanted nothing more than to push Chris to the carpet and crawl on top of him. But he sighed as he pulled back. It wasn’t going to happen like that right now, or sadly, anytime in the next couple of hours.

There was a lot of cheering. He looked around and saw most of his family and friends, laughing and clapping.

*****

Chris was exhausted as he lay in bed, waiting for Len. It had been a long day. He hadn’t expected it to be so stressful when he asked Len to marry him. Those seconds rang out long in his mind. But then Len had looked at him and nodded, and all was right with his world. At least for this moment. The love in Len’s eyes, that had been beyond anything he could hope for.

He wasn’t sure what he could offer Len in terms of a future. Six years and counting. He followed Len’s research at a distance. He was afraid to get too close to it. It would play out as it was intended.

Len slid in next to him and gathered him close. “Today has been a long-assed day. I should be exhausted, but I’m wired for light and sound.”

“Are you? Maybe we should do something about that,” Chris suggested as he leaned close to kiss Len. His own exhaustion faded as Len turned towards him.

“Oh, I think that would be an excellent idea –” Len sighed. “Except that, my mother and daughter are in the rooms on either side of us.”

“And my house, and especially my bedroom, has excellent soundproofing shield screens,” Chris said, sitting up and pressing some buttons on the control panel for the security. “They can interrupt us if they need something, but they won’t be able to hear anything until they are actually in the room with us.”

“Modern technology is great,” Len said, reaching out for him and drawing him back down into his arms, kissing him tenderly.

Chris went with it, letting Len lead them wherever he wanted to go tonight. It was soft and slow and warm. He got lost in the feel of Len’s hands and mouth on his body. The taste of Len’s body under his tongue. They fell asleep after, holding each other.

*****

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